How Did This Get Made? - Catwoman w/ Jamie Denbo (HDTGM Matinee)

Episode Date: September 2, 2025

Halle Berry is an Oscar winner, Catwoman is a beloved comic book icon, and Sharon Stone is the perfect villain. It would be tough to screw this movie up, but lo and behold! Jason, June and Paul welcome Jamie Denbo (Kevin Can F**k Himself, Grey's Anatomy) to discuss the 2004 superhero flop Catwoman. Despite the occasional girl power messages and sometimes amusing witticisms, it revealed itself to be a poorly scripted, oddly dated mess. (Originally Released 12/20/2011) • Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, FAQs, and more• Have a Last Looks correction or omission? Call 619-PAULASK to leave us a voicemail!• Submit your Last Looks theme song to us here• Join the HDTGM conversation on Discord: discord.gg/hdtgm• Buy merch at howdidthisgetmade.dashery.com/• Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of Trauma• Shop our new hat collection at podswag.com• Paul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheer• Paul’s YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheer• Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer• Subscribe to Enter The Dark Web w/ Paul & Rob Huebel: youtube.com/@enterthedarkweb• Listen to Unspooled with Paul & Amy Nicholson: unspooledpodcast.com• Listen to The Deep Dive with June & Jessica St. Clair: thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcast• Instagram: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & @junediane• Twitter: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & msjunediane  • Jason is not on social media• Episode transcripts available at how-did-this-get-made.simplecast.com/episodesGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm

Sinister face cream, diamond claws, a perfect basketball game. There are so many reasons for me to be me out, but I keep on being purred back in. We saw Catwoman, so you know what that means. Now it's time for how to discriminate. We're going to have a good time, celebrate some failure, not just be a hater, because you know you wonder, how to discrepair. Let's follow in the mediocrity of subar art Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question

How Did This Get Made? Hello, people of earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made? The show where we try to make sense of the movies that make no sense. I am joined, as always, by Jason Manzoukis. How are you, Jason? I'm good, Paul. What is happening? Not much.

And June, Diane Raphael. How are you, June? Hi, Paul, I'm good, hurry. So delicate. I'm a delicate flower. As always, we have a very special guest. Um, this person is hilarious. You may have recently just seen her on happy endings. Uh, very talented writer, comedian, actress. Please welcome Jamie Dembo. Hello. Hello. Hello. Are you doing this whole thing in character? What character? Maybe my whole world outside this is character. Uh-oh. Oh, man. And your podcast, uh, the Rana and Bev podcast, where can people find that?

They can find it on the iTunes. It's hilarious. Um, Catwoman. Oh, my God. Guys. Oh, brother. Wow. How have we not done this movie yet? amazing. I knew we were in trouble just from the beginning with like the faux enya music over like the Ken Burns documentary on cats. That was the longest opening credit sequence I've ever seen. I knew we were in trouble when the director had one name.

Pit off. Bit off. Well I just feel it's from the very beginning we had a very thin premise. A thinness that went through the whole thing. Which is mean it, which means nothing because this is a

character who has a very rich history. Like Catwoman, it's not like an artificial character. Like, this is a comic book character who's been around forever. They decided not to do anything D.C. with it. They're like, we're not going to adhere to anything that you know. Well, except to say that there have been many catwomen. So we can get away with this because this is just one catwoman story. One of the stories of the many catwomen.

And so basically... I'm sorry to jump ahead. I'm so sorry. Was Francis Conroy a catwoman? We're just an expert on cowwomen. We should get to it. Oh, you mean Ophelia Powers? Okay, sure.

Her name is Ophelia Powers. Do you feel him? Ophelia Powers. I don't know. We'll get into Frances Congra. We have a lot to talk about with the names, too. So basically this movie starts off with Halliberry being, you know, that typical nerdy girl who just bumps into everybody. Like the walk.

It was all about her walk as patience. Just, apparently all nerds are loser women who are lonely, but gorgeous, hold their wrists, hold their sleeves in their wrists. Like they're trying to put on a coat and not get their sleeves in there. There's a lot of bodywork in this movie in general. A lot of physicality. When she's her nerd, when she's patience and nerdy, you're right. It's all stiff, arms, high shoulders. And then when she's Camelman, it's like Miss Jay from America's Next Top Model came in.

It was like, girl, this is how you need to do this. Also, as a nerdy girl, she's always, always bumping into people. Oh, I'm sorry, sorry. Basically, did you guys think she's basically, not to draw comparisons again, but it's like she and Sandra Bullock in all about Steve, it's the same kind of like mannered. This is how I'm going to be an unattractive nerd girl. Gorgeous women having no idea how to act not gorgeous.

Yes, exactly. No idea. It's like, I honestly felt she was constantly trapped in a pose of like when a little girl goes, I felt like I just that was the sound that came out of her body well I also wanted this is what before we get into the the meat of the movie this is another movie the thing that drives me crazy

it happened in the smirfs which we saw which is why don't point to me when you say smurfs you pointed right at me oh the smurfs Jason which you do not out me as a smurf right now bro don't do this to me bro which is the fact that a cosmetic company

is like the everyone is waiting for this new cosmetic And they have a building in New York City, and everyone works. It's all over the news. It's the only thing going on. And yet they never really show, like, the world expecting it. So it's this presumption that the world is expecting it. And all the shots are, like, the long shots of the building and the face and the announcement.

And when's the launch? Actually, the only people who seem to want this product are people who already work at the company. And who already are using it. Who are jamming it on their faces like it's like a bad cum shot in the porno. A moment for Alex Borstein. Who I have to say is maybe, and I feel badly saying this, but the most unlikable friend, funny friend character I've ever seen. How do you mean?

What are you talking about? I do want to say we can speak freely about all these people because in a very classy way, and we're going to play this a little bit later. Let's keep a classy today, you guys. Let's keep a classy. Halli Berry did accept her Razzie and brought Alex Bornstein with her, and they all kind of were like, yeah, we know. Like, so everything they were saying.

I'm obsessed with the character of Sally. I feel like we could spend this whole time. When she's just making calls from the hospital, just like, girl, what are you doing right now? And she's in a hospital. And she's behind the nurse's death. And wearing pigtails. Which I think was one of the most upsetting things to me. She's always so horny.

Oh, so horny. She's Kim Cotrol trapped in Alex's Borstein's body. It's so awkward and weird and uncomfortable. And she's a little racist. Oh, yeah. Every time she talks to Hallie Berry, she's like putting up. She calls her chocolate a lot, right? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Brown sugar, brown. And he was like, oh, did you see your man yet? Did she like, fuck him? She's like, she's so Randy all the time. Very invested. Very invested. Way to invested in her. This is the best friend who bought her a leather cat suit, which good thing she did, for dating emergencies.

Sally didn't buy that for her. She and the gay friend. Yeah. Oh, that was a joint gift. I didn't realize. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It said for dating emergencies. It's a gay friend who came over the side and just goes, yay, every time something.

All of his lines got cut. So basically. Because people were like, we can't have a gay guy in this movie. You guys know that, right? You're going to have to cut him almost completely. Well, the gay guy who says when he sees Benjamin Brat, he goes, ooh, look at this man sandwich. That's the same guy.

Yeah, so we need to get one line. Which does not mean anything. That would mean two men, right? I did get confused by that. What is a man? Well, one solo man is not a man saying. He's just saying, like, I'm hungry for that guy. Well, now I understand it.

Now that we're talking about it. But it was a moment where I was like a sandwich inside that there's several people. Yeah, that's what I would say. Like, if you were like, oh, I would like a man sandwich. I would think, oh, that's a couple of dudes. Yeah. Yeah, like the Voltaugio Brothers from Topshop. That's a man sandwich.

Correct. Good call. Have I revealed too much? Not enough. Not enough. Not enough. So, Hallie Berry, who's dressed like Raggedy Ann in the beginning of this movie, needs to get an ad. She's an artist for an ad company who's given up her art.

She's like, I wanted to be an artist. She sold out. She lives in like a multi-million dollar loft. Yes. Oh, yeah, that loft is amazing. I actually was glad about that choice. Because I did think, all right, well, she has sold out, so we have to see where she would have spent her money. Because it felt like when they started on close-up or something in her loft, I was like,

is I going to pull away and it's going to be like a dinky little like. No, it's beautiful. Like, at least okay, she paid for something. Right. So I like that logic. She's doing good. She's doing good. And I do have a couple of other things that I genuinely loved about this.

Oh, me too. I did too. And they're both called Sharon Stone. Oh, my gosh. Amazing. Amazing. She was amazing. Amazing.

For all the right reasons. Yes, absolutely. I have to say the first outfit Hallibair is wearing as patience is the craziest-ass thing. It's a free shopping bag. It's very echo-friendly. It is just, they just put layers and layers of clothes on her. There's no rhyme or reason to that outfit. The front is in the back is in the front.

It is the craziest smock. She is an artist. She's in a smock. But by the way, she's also, is that her smock? No, no, no. I'm genuinely asking. I thought maybe that was a smock. I think they might have been trying to start a fashion.

trend of smogs. Okay. And she wore that outfit two days in a row. So did Alex Borstein. She was in the red thing. I noticed that too. But that's got to be. What is that?

You know what? That was an editing. I bet it's an edit problem. I bet they were like, you know what? Let's split this in half. We'll put this over here, this over here. But they're wearing all the same clothes. Nobody will notice.

This movie's horrible. Well, also, here's the thing. They'll be too focused on how bad the movie is to notice this. Well, we are not even into the first 10 minutes yet. I could talk forever about the first 10 minutes of this movie. I mean, it's a movie. Amazing. So basically, her boss, who is so arch, he makes arch people look like nothing.

Like, I mean, he's so crazy. Every line he delivers, every line, Sharon Stone do it is a lot, is the cap, it's the Yippie Kaye motherfucker's line. Yes. So every line is game over. How would you know? You're a cat person. Like, it's just all feels like every line.

There's no dialogue of like, hey, how you doing it? Like none, none, none at all. It's all to the top. And so they're releasing this product, which is going to do. be more important than soap is what they say in the movie and so Halliberry has to go which is like a beauty cream yes

it's like an anti-aging anti-wrinkle which has some pretty crazy properties which we'll get into basically Sally's just like lathering it on her face she's like I can't get enough of this stuff yes although in the very first scene she lathers it on her face and then says immediately

I can't get enough of the stuff and then says oh I have been having terrible headache I know the next line And meanwhile, Hallie Barry is like, you know that stuff's experimental. You shouldn't even have that. Every single line also feels like a studio note. Like they took every studio note. It feels like that came along.

Happily. Every single one of this. Is everyone going to understand this? We should put in another line to explain it. All right. I hope one of those studio notes were, hey, we don't understand how she gets her powers. Can you have a cat make out with her dead body? Like, how can we get the transference?

Can we actually have the cat lip-to-lip with a Hallie Barry? That is one of my favorite scenes. Sleeping Beauty, kiss her back to life. The cat blows out this breath. Well, the whole reason why she dies is because she needs to get an ad done by midnight. And so no messengers can deliver it to the headquarters. Which is also the factory. Which is also the other thing.

It's like, why couldn't she? Why do they need to bring it to the factory? I don't know. Which she wasn't even there for. It's also kind of on an island. Yeah, the factory's on an island. And it's also like a basement lab is the only place she can wander into. Yes.

She's like, I've got to drop off these designs. I might as well go to a basement, secret basement lab. And there are clearly security guards all the way around because they come chasing after. They don't stop her. And she sneaks in through the back way. So, and she uncovers the plot that where they say the skin cream eats away your flesh. And this is a bad skin cream. Like, well, fuck it.

We need to release it. Meanwhile, it's one of the best scenes because there's a scientist there who's, I guess, testing this cream. Yeah. Who says, like, look, you guys. I can take a lot of things. He's like, I've lived with the headaches it costs. I've lived with the addiction. I've lived with the side effects, the nausea.

He's like, I cannot live with this. Who is this guy that he can live with any of that? But he can't live with their face being decomposed. I also, again, like the stakes of just releasing a beauty cream. Like, to what, why so important? In what world is this that important? It's like, I've never seen Clinique take over like the nude pages. You know what?

I actually thought it was really offensive because I felt like they were taking his female like superhero and then making her have to deal with something that was like girl girl related she couldn't actually do anything that was real woman is in the comics and I know they're not adhering to any comic thing like is a villain you know she's a thief she steals stuff she's like a bad guy she's a cat burglar she's a cat burglar exactly and and to make her be like a good guy who's like like rescuing women from like a beauty product is absolutely so demeaning.

I didn't know that about a cat woman because I was thinking that the whole time like is she good or bad. Yeah. Because she does steal but then she gives it back but then she does keep that necklace. That's what that's why they had to make. That was the only way to fill out, flesh this out, I guess in some way. Because honestly like... It takes like

20 minutes to get to the bad guys. Oh, yes. This movie is nine hours long. Yeah. It's very long. It's very long for an 88 minute movie or whatever. It's like 103 minutes, but it feels like a lifetime. It is crazy. But I think that's interesting when talking about the whole feminist nature of it.

That's the rest of the podcast should be a feminist appraisal of the movie Catwoman. Yay, June. Party time. I'm up for it, you guys. But is that I didn't know watching it. I'm like, so who is this for and who do they think it's for, the whole movie? I'm like, so who is the audience that they think they're getting it? They think they obviously want to get superhero people. Yeah, like fan boys.

Right, fan boys and then fan girls up to an age when that doesn't. necessarily say for the some women that it stays for but let's be general speak in generals and then is it for is it for women because it's also like or they think it's all sexy right but they think like there's a love story power so the love story with benjamin but that's always really offensive though about the movie to me too because it's like they did more they spent more time sexualizing her oh my god in these super like she first becomes the cat woman and she gets in the costume they have about a minute and a half long tracking shots that just kind of spins around her body

and you're just looking at this costume. And she looks amazing. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. But her, like, the, what are her powers? I don't. Her powers are the power of a cat.

And then also the powers of crazy things. Yeah. So she can sneak out of a prison by contorting her body because cats have very flexible bodies. She can land on her feet all the time. Yeah, we see that happen a lot. And then the new first of your powers, like, the heightened senses.

He heightened senses. But do cats have, like, crazy senses like that? see birds really closely or like dogs? How about they're gross cats for one second and they do, I did think it was both funny

and appalling when she was eating the fucking tuna fish. Oh. That was disgusting. I wrote that. I wrote that down. I was like, what the fuck?

The hottest woman in the world could be eating tunific and it's not sexy. Every time she's eating and she's also eating sushi with Benzuma bread, it's like she can't control herself. She's like,

um, again, a lot of work. There is a lot of acting coach working here. and Halliberry does talk in her Razzie speech about working with her acting coach on this part which is true

I loved all the cat physicalization I loved it you guys I loved it June I'm sorry I loved it I loved all of the physical stuff I loved her licking that milk and then her lipstick being perfect that too has a good superhero moment we didn't even talk about the fact that when she

after she gets transformed to the catwoman she goes from this you know this you know girl who's like oh, I'm patient, Phillips, to Rihanna. Like, that's it. Her next look is full on Rihanna. Rihanna and her dress,

because the hair is exactly the same. I actually thought, I think Rihanna is stealing from Catwoman. Well, she has to be, because it's dated. It's the same thing, yeah. But what's crazy is when you also, when you suggested that, when Catwoman came up, my immediate thought was like, oh, that, from the 90s, that film.

It is only from 2005. Why does it feel, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I thought this was, like, 1997. No, yeah. Wait, what? Why is it? I don't know. This movie is recent.

She won the Academy Award and then did this movie. And then did this movie. Wait, so she, okay, but she won Monster's Ball. She won for Monsters Ball like in 2004. And then used the clout to get this done. See, what's a bummer about this is like I actually think it could have been a really cool. You're wrong. Yes.

I think it could have been amazing movie. Well, if they actually adhered to what Catwoman is, I mean. And I don't think Holly Berry could have done it. I think it's interesting that girl with the dragon tattoo is so in the zeitguise right now, because I think that if that came out first, then this would be kind of an amazing concept. Because I think I do. I think that there is something very similar. I don't know why.

I haven't formed the words that connect any of these thoughts. What's the good and bad? And also that leathery kind of like misfit thing. Like that should be our fucking cat. Well, there is, but there is like that's an era. This movie and Electra are the two movies. in which they make so, such dread, it is truly missteps of, like,

comic movies, completely misunderstanding how to represent women in movies and mark it towards their audience that way. You know, like, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, or even, like, um, Colombiana, like, all of these, like, female-centric action movies or, or movies that have, like, an intensity to them,

uh, are, are much more, like, they're richer stories. Absolutely. Like, I think because these are comic books, people are like, well, It's just for fanboys. Put her in a sexy outfit. Have her jump on the rooftop.

Yeah, she's not safe. There's no crime. You don't get the sense. No, there's no mission. There's nothing. Like, she's going to continue to be Catwoman. But there's no, there's no crime to it. Like, what is she going to do?

She's going to fight what? I feel like she and, and Sharon Stone, who is so fucking good in this movie. This is like her comeback movie or wanting to be a comeback movie. She should have been. She's great. She's awesome. She does exactly what she's supposed to do. She is doing it.

gorgeous, she's a wonderful villain. She is not, oddly not overacting, I don't think. I feel like she's just, I agree with you. She's one of the only people who understands the movie she's in. Exactly. Okay, so, Hallibary has these powers, and Benjamin Brat, which we should just

back up for a second to talk about Benjamin Brat. Benjamin Brat finds Hallie while he's on his way to work one morning. Hallie Barry is out on a ledge trying to save a cap, but he thinks that she's... Before she's turned into Calum. Oh, yeah. She thinks... He thinks that she's a suicide jumper, and then they kind of get this flirtation, and now... And by the way, he keeps in apologizing for thinking that.

It's like, don't be sorry about that. She was on our ledge of a building, like, looking like she was a jumper. Anyway, so they get this. There's this whole weird line of her being, like, offended that that was... It's like, you were hanging out of a building. And then it's like, ooh, I'm late for work and go straight to work. Yeah, like, you were... You almost died.

You almost died just now. And then, by the way, when she drops her wallet, and they clearly moved the door slam, up so that there would be enough time for him to find the wallet on the floor. Did you notice that? Why couldn't you just yell her name? You could give her a wallet right now. You could run down those stairs. You ran right up the stairs.

You did it. You could literally, all he had to do is, hey, your wallet. At that level. At that level. At that level. At that level. At that's as much effort as it would have taken. Hey, your wallet.

By the way, the other thing I think that is important to note is he finds her wallet and then shows up at her work because as we all know, our wallets have our work address. Yep. Just like when she finds him at the school he's giving a talk in by being like, I called the police station, they said you might be here. And also. At a random school in this city. He's in a random school giving a lecture, but it seems that part of him is that he's always at this school,

but yet it seems like it's the first time that he's there. And apparently strangers can just walk into classrooms in this school and smile awkwardly at the guy talking and then challenge him to a one-on-one basketball. But also what? Why have we not talked about the one-on-one basketball? game yet. And what is happening? What is also happening with him in that school? He's like, hey kids, don't grow up to be bad.

Who wants to play some basketball? Like, wait, wait, that's the lecture? It's a half cop lecture, half basketball thing? No, it's a half cop lecture. Hey, kids, don't be bad. Half, the kids being like, show your gun. Oh, yeah. Who want to see your gun? Can you shoot somebody? What? Actually, I have to say I like the choice of him being at that school

because I felt what it did was, I really did. June, I think you liked this movie. I didn't like it. I didn't like it. I thought it was And I liked it because it was also like, we're not going to show him, like, solving a crime and being heroic because it's going to take away from our gal. So we're going to actually put him in this, like, feminine environment where he's, like, nurturing and... So, this one-on-one basketball game. Oh, holy cow. I remember seeing this in the theater.

It's the giggling that she's doing, too, throughout. It's all shots of her upper body. So they're in, they never move. Nope. They almost never move. Well, it's a 101 basketball game where they never shoot. the ball. All they do is dribble. Yeah. And then the only time

that there's any movement is when she does it or she does a lot of walks on the walls and stuff, she does a standing jumper, but then somehow she falls on top of them. That's the action of it. And at one point, there's just a close up of her, there's just a close up, a very tight close up of her ass

jiggling. Yes, there is. And there's also there's like shots of her upper body like moving her arms like she's dribbling. Like I'm up. Like showing them eye contact. And then lower body shots of her like dribbling the ball through her legs like a Harlem Globetrotter, which I'm 100% certain was a man.

Oh, sure. There is no, if you watch upper body to lower body shuts, the lower body shot. She is a man. I guarantee a man did these things. I think fucking CGI. There's so many parts in this movie where her body is completely CGI. Like when she's running around the city.

All the jumping. Yeah. Everything is she's CG. I will say this. To me, the really genuinely standout good scene in this movie from another movie. So you liked it to? Was, yes, I did. was the Ferris wheel theme, which was great.

Oh, that's right from Beverly Hills Cop 3. All right. Well, that's why I was good. I know. There's not a sign of being good. But no, that's set. Because it did everything it should do. I agree.

It made him on par as an equal someone who is, who could match her. She saved the kid, which I thought was a good. Frankly, I thought it was awesome to see her. That's such a superhero move. You loved this movie. You're like almost jerking off right now. It was a music video, too. The whole movie is a music video.

Oh, yeah. I feel like they lost, though, and I couldn't believe it, is this just watching her, there was no like, oh, I'm watching this woman who was patient figure out all of her superhero powers. Like, that's the fun of the movie, and we don't see any of it. And her superhero power, she's like, I think you're talking about somebody else. And she's giggling with this basketball stuff. It's like, don't giggle, like, really, like, what is happening right now? But to me, it's like, Superman, Batman, you understand a base of their powers. here I got she can run and jump from building right but but besides that it was very iffy was like

who made her she's hungry like a cat but she's not a cat but sometimes she's possessed by the cat she his is like a cat sometimes she sleeps like a human sometimes she sleeps on a pillow yeah it's weird I loved when she kissed oh we didn't talk about the moment in the movie when she's confused about being a cat that she Googles cat cat no she Googles cats period women that's what she googled How about the conversation to the cops going? What should we call her? Cat chick? Cat broad.

Cat broad. Cat broad. What jerk she's wearing open-toed sandals throughout all of her adventures as Catwoman. And somebody has created diamond talons for her. Yes. Yeah, because those didn't come in the box. Like gloves with diamonds on the fingers? What are you talking about?

So she is confused. She doesn't want to take on the Catwoman persona just yet. So she goes to Francis Conroy, Ophelia Powers, who is really upset with the men in the world. Who lives in the Uphouse? Oh, yes. Yes. I read that right down to. She lives in the Uphouse, this little house in the middle of a city.

Of skyscrapers. A tiny Victorian house in the midst of like Wall Street, like skyscrapers. And she's in this uphouse. And this woman is upset with the men in this world because she was denied ten. year. Yeah. That was like... Academia.

Academia is a man's world. Yeah. Oh. Paul, you pointed this out, but Midnight, the cat that's by her side, the whole movie, is like the most uninspired, uninteresting. Yeah.

Casting was terrible for that cat. I don't know who cast that cat. And sometimes they just CGI the cat when the cat's not even doing anything. The cat is standing, like looking at the camera, it's all CG. There is 45 minutes. This is a superhero movie. There's 45 minutes before the first fight

sequence. Yep. Oh, yeah. Which takes place. Fuck you. But lots of Alex Borstein just kind of eating up. Girl, did you meet for coffee with that guy yet? I'm like, you are Alex Borstein.

You are not a black woman. Oh, my God. Oh, okay. Jimmy Smith's catches on at one point that Pallie Berry and Catwoman might be the same person because they both wrote sorry. She wrote sorry because she missed the date with Benjamin Bratt slash Jimmy Smith on a coffee cup. That scene is amazing.

And then, and then she also wrote Sorry on the bag of diamonds that she stole. She returns it to the diamond place. And they're like, does this match? Is this handwriting match? I'm not a handwriting expert. I could say this is clearly written by the same exact person. There's no way it would be. He brings it to a handwriting expert.

Yes. Who says, does it match exactly? No, it's close. In this first one, you see the space between the S and the O suggests loneliness. Yes. They're exactly the same. What? And he goes, it suggests loneliness, but this other one is an adventurous woman.

But the other one's an introvert, but this one wants to get revenge. And he goes, man, if you put these two women into a room, you'd have one hell of a party. Yeah, what the fuck does that mean? What does that mean? Do your fucking job. Well, also, like, you put a really anti-social woman in the room with a crazy, like, a crazy, like. Holy shit. And when they, is it the same guy that studies the scar on his cheek?

Oh, yeah. Like, perfect, 99.9% perfect match. That is bonker. And he's studying that scar at midnight because Benjamin and Brad at midnight, or they just had sex, Calli Berry and Benjamin Bratt. And then he, like, Jimmy Smith's. And he goes to, like, he sees something. He goes to the lab. But it's clearly, like, two or three in the morning because they just fucked.

And they had dinner and it was a late night. I love that cat sex scene. And, yeah, cat sex. And he brings it in the lab is fully functioning. Oh, yes. Like, way in the early morning. That's what I got the 99% of him. We have not talked about when she is going to fully embrace becoming Catwoman.

She cuts her own hair with two scissors, like with scissors in each hand. It's basically Edward's his hand. She's like, sniff, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip. And I was like, how could you know? You can't use two sets of scissors to cut your own hair. Why would you even put this in? Cats can do that. Just cut her hair.

Just cut her hair. Just cut her hair. Fuck you. I don't know what it was. I wrote down one thing here, but I think Benjamin Bratt said something, and I don't, please tell me if you remember this. He goes, would you be

upset if your wife did blank, blank, blank? And the guy goes, I would if she was carrying a pizza. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, if you, would you rescue, would your wife rescue a cat on a ledge? Oh, right. If the cat was carrying a pizza.

I guess because his wife's fucking fat. She's a fat pizza lover. This movie is so, yeah, that line just stuck out to me as being terrible. terrible um so she is i mean this also the whole basic premise of the movie is that the skin cream is killing people callaberry wants to find if you stop if you stop right yes that's the other thing right i didn't realize but if you continue if you continue you become marble you become charon stone who is marble yes she's so so she doesn't feel pain which leads me to her

demise yes why does she agreed she shouldn't die at all yeah what she should just fall to the ground she should fall to the ground and be like and shake it off because why would that hurt? But her skin started changing before she died. Yeah, why? So what? Well, to me, can you scratch marble? I didn't know.

With diamond nails. Yeah. Oh, she's got diamond nails, you guys. Guys, diamonds. Diamonds. I love that we're really trying to track this. I love that we're really trying to figure this out. By the way, during the fight scene between Halle Berry and Sharon Stone,

Sharon Stone does not throw a punch back. She just gets the shit. By the way, where are they having this fight? They're having a fight in the poster warehouse. It's just like, it's a top floor of this building where they just keep all the old posters. You know why women are going to be into this movie because it's in, like, beauty and fashion. And then there's going to be a new model who's younger. Every woman has that problem.

Everyone. Hey, do you guys think when she becomes catwoman, she should have, like, super, like powers? No, not really. But she should now be able to fight like a ninja. Okay, yeah, she can do that. There's also a scene, and again, we've talked about the woman aspect of this film. But there's a scene where, like, Lone, that Tom. alone, who is Benjamin Bratt's character.

And Sally has a lot to say about that name. I think you mean Louis Guzman. Oh, yes, yes, you're right. Louis Guzman. It confronts Charonstone. He knows the evil plan, and he's caught her in it. We'll play a clip. Because I finally trusted a friend. Yeah, well, your friend just got you

kid. Don't be stupid, Laure, you don't want to kill a cop. I'm a woman, Lone. I'm used to doing all kinds of things I don't want to Give my regards to my husband. Like, they would throw in these lines like that.

She is gorgeous. Sharnstone is gorgeous and powerful. And her husband treats her like garbage because she's over 40. And look, and yeah, she looks 10 billion times better than the 25-year-old's gang. She's so much more beautiful than the other, the model is replaced. But she's like, she hasn't said anything important to me since he said, I do. I do. It's all of the pronouncements about, like, the new campaign and retiring the face of, like, as though that would be covered in anything.

Although, I must, I do, you know, I have to say the press conference when they finally have it. Yes. After her husband dies. Oh, my God. There's, like, three photographers there. Like, there's nothing. And it's not in, like, a press room. No, it's in their boardroom.

It's basically in the circular room from Dr. Strangelove. It's, like, in an evil lair. They're like, we'll have a couple pieces of the media come to the evil layer. Uh, there is a, uh, there's an alternate ending on the DVD. Um, the original ending, which, um, it's pretty great. So the, the movie ends with the catwoman writing a letter to Ophelia Powers and Tom Lone and saying, thank you so much for your help. Wait, I think you mean Issao Morales.

Oh, yes. Ysai Morales. And, uh, and so Danny Trejo gets the letter and, uh, and it basically says, hey, look, I'm a catwoman now. I need to be independent. See you around. Now, meanwhile, I guess she's just going to live in the city and just, but not date him. I don't know.

So that's how the movie ends. She's like, I'm a catwoman now. I do my own thing. She walks off. Ambiguous leading room for franchise. Exactly. The way the alternate ending goes is it cuts to her. The whole movie ends.

Sharon Stone dies at the press conference. Cuts to her outside with Alex Bornstein painting a mural of a cat on a building. And there's kids helping her. A giant cat mural. You know what I'm realizing, Paul? What? They must have been outside that school that they were at before. Right, the basketball school.

Oh, yeah, I didn't realize that. So they're painting a giant cat mural. It's coming together for me. And then Benjamin Brack comes up and goes, hey, just so you know, we solved the case. Everyone said that they were guilty, and it's all done. And then he goes, why don't you come down? We'll talk. And then they come down and talk.

The camera does this insane thing where it's spinning around them. There's no action. It's this dialogue. The camera's spinning. almost to the point of like nausea and it's like she's like can you live with somebody who's a cat woman he's like well I could do whatever you know I'm cool with that and she says because I'm pretty

complicated yeah he goes I like a complicated woman and that's and Nancy Myers was like hey that's a good idea and then that's the end the end is that they go off and then the camera pans up yeah just go up into the sky that they're going to be together forever

and the cat mural is going to be finished painting not only that but after that you realize this wasn't like they didn't And Alex Borson behind him going, hubba, hubba, hubba, hubba, you did it, you're there. She's up on the roofleting, not doing anything, just, like, commenting, like, oh, that's painting is bad. Isn't she with the hot doctor? Meanwhile, Alex Borencine, in the, in the alternate ending, she's not in the old. In the one, it's in the movie.

Oh, okay. That's delicious, and the strawberry, too. Oh, God. What? Now, Alex Borenton, you're led to believe that she's getting sick from the cream, but she clearly stops using the cream and her face is melt off. And she's totally fine with the fact that she's, like, been in a hospital. for four days. She's in the hospital more concerned with getting laid than the fact that she is going to

get a drug. Not getting Halliberry late. Yeah, it's crazy. Why does Hallie Barry, I can't deal with the scenes in this movie where she, when she's Catwoman, she just runway walks everywhere she goes. Because it's as different as you can possibly get from the little kid. Yeah, she just is making it so labored to walk wherever she. Guys, can I tell you something?

Well, because I think she's walking like a cat in a very central way. I loved her physicality. I just want to ask you guys, this is a little bit of a trivia question. How many writers wrote this movie? Eleven. Okay. How many do you want to say? I looked it up so I shouldn't guess.

Okay. Oh, God. I'm going to say like eight. Twenty-eight writers were involved in the arbitration. They nailed it. Okay, but they finally were awarded to three writers and two-story craft. But 28 writers were involved in this script at one point. Wow.

Anyone notable? The ones that wrote it were John D. Brancato, Michael Ferris, John Rogers, Teresa Rebeck, Brancato, and Ferris. So those are the... Wow. As you could tell, we did not love this movie, but now it is time for a second opinion. These are cold from Amazon.com. These are five-star reviews of Catwoman. Um, so here you go.

This is from Huntsville. If you like cats or Halle Berry, you're going to like this movie. Jay Harris, right? Not both. No. If you like either or, that's enough. If you just like cats and hate Halliberry, you're still going to like this movie. Yeah, exactly.

But if you, yeah, either or. If you like both, holy shit, you're in. Your day just got made. Here is another version of that quote. As I love both cats and ancient Egypt, this was my dream movie. What? So you like the, like, two very short montage. The opening montage had some papyrus in it.

That's it. This is the other one I really like. I have no idea why some people say this is bad because it isn't. It's actually really good. Definitely good. I'm a guy. So desperate. And then this gets a little bit more serious.

It goes, I also like the way this movie treated the duality of what a woman can be if she chooses and her right to choose. Virgin Vamp. I have recommended this film to all I know who are like me, a pagan. Oh, that's amazing. And finally, the last one, there's so many here that were amazing. On one hand, I'm happy because of the bad publicity that I get the DVD of this movie sooner, but on the other hand, I'm saddened because I probably won't get this sequel. So this guy liked the bad publicity because he just wanted to get a DVD scene.

Thank God. Can I ask, what is the lore of Catwoman? And, like, how in the comic books, actually, there's become cat women. Oh, I see, all right. But usually, I mean, she's a Batman villain, basically. But then Batman is constantly kind of like having a relationship with her. She's very compelling. Like, she's like a, she started out as like a cat burglar, blah, blah, blah.

One thing I also have to say, and maybe I'm wrong, and maybe this is just my personal or female point of view. I feel like Michelle Pfeiffer's actual suit is so much sexier than like the, like, the S&M and the big tits. the fucking, like, pushed up. Like, Halliberry, you know those aren't all... That's not all her. Like, it's just... And, like, the sex-stop part of it. Like, I prefer the American horror story, like,

dying body condom. No, totally. I'm down with that. I don't know. I thought she looked good at it. I know, she looked amazing. She looked good, but, like... She was, like, covered in glitter makeup, and she looked...

She was very shining. She looked like she was just walking a runway. It looked like you were watching a Rihanna concert. It didn't look functional, is when I'm hearing. Also, her mask is the worst mask in the history of superhero mask. Also, cats have fur. I'm just going to say that... Right, they're not skinny, yes.

Every time she jumped... If she was wearing this, every time she jumped anywhere, her tits would pop out. Of course. Which I watched astutely, and they did not happen. That did not happen. As always, we go to you, the audience, to play a part in the show. Last week, we asked you to go on to eardrop and record your favorite bad pun. That would be like, you would pretend to your catwoman.

Maybe you and a friend would get together and do one of the puns from the movie. Like, you know, it's a perfect crime. So here are some of our favorites, puns from Catwoman. Once I've had my claws in you, you'll need to pee with a cat that... So good. So good, guys, right? You're amazing. Any final thoughts?

Any final thoughts that we didn't cover anything that people want to talk about? I think that this movie is definitely. Definitely worth the rental. Oh, it is. Oh, without a doubt. It's on iTunes. It's on iTunes. And it's on YouTube.

I got to say, it's outrageous, but it's not a bad. Yes, it is. It's a bad movie. It's not a bad viewing experience. It's not. It's a fun bad movie to watch. Yes. It's campy and silly.

And you know what? It is almost if it were just that much campier and sillier, it would have been awesome. Yes. It misses the mark because it takes itself a little bit too seriously. So like I said earlier, you think this movie directed by Pete off. who was just a visual effects guy, which makes sense.

That makes a ton of sense. He did three movies. This was one of them. So it's like, and he was all, but he's listed crazy credits for visual effects. I can only say that

I think the final word of this movie is best spoken by Hallie Berry and her Razzie speech, which we have called together the best parts of she goes to town and she was going down

with this worst actress award. She showed up with her Oscar in one hand and Razzie and the other, but she takes down everyone. Take a listen to that. I've got so many people to thank because

you don't win a Razzie without a lot of help from a lot of people. So please indulge me and just let me, you know, go through this. First of all, I want to thank Warner Brothers. Thank you for putting me

in a piece of shit god awful movie. You know, it was just what my career needed, you know? I was at the top, and then Catwoman just plowing me to the bottom. I want to thank my manager, Vincent Serencion. Vince, here he's, here's my manager. Vincent Sirincerely. I want to say, no, no, listen, this guy loves me. He loves me so much.

He loves me so much. But he tells me that I'm the greatest actress there ever was. He loves me so much that he convinces me to do projects even when he knows their shit. But that's how much he loves me. That's how much he really loves me. And my only advice to you, Vinnie, is next time I do a movie, if I get a chance to do another movie. Maybe you should read the script before you read. You know, just counting the zeros behind the one really isn't enough.

You really got to read the script. Thank you. I love you, man. Love you. I want to thank my agent and my lawyers, who obviously don't give a shit. They're not here tonight. But love you guys. Love you.

I want to thank the writers, all 20 of them. Thank you for thinking this was a good idea. Obviously, it wasn't, but I appreciate the thought. You thought it was. You tried. Hey, thank you. I want to thank the cast. You know, it's really important in order to give a really bad performance like I did.

You need a lot of bad actors around you. So I want to thank all of them. I also want to thank our director, Ptoff, you know, that one name French guy. Thank you very much. It was a joy to come to work every day and work with him, really. I mean, I didn't know what the hell he was. I'm sure it showed in my performance. But it was truly a joy and a pleasure.

And I also want to thank my acting coach, Ivana Chubbik. She just wrote a book called The Power of the Actor. Y'all should brush out and get it. Could change your life, too. All right. Thank you guys so much for listening. I don't know if you heard what's going on in the next room. I hope you didn't.

As always, you can follow Jamie, you're on Twitter at... At Jamie Dunbo. And Jason, you're not on Twitter. June, you're at... At Ms. June, Diane. I am at Paul Shear. Remember to rate and review us on iTunes if you like the show. Thank you very much.

Goodbye.