How Did This Get Made? - Christmas Mail (w/ Jessica St. Clair)

Episode Date: December 14, 2024

Is this a podcast about birds and the United States Postal Service or about the 2010 made-for-TV rom-com Christmas Mail? Slap on a red clip-on tie and judge for yourself! HDTGM all-star Jessica St. Clair (The Deep Dive) brings her Big Crone Energy and Postmaster General family experience to help break down this new holiday classic. The gang discusses the sprinkles fight scene, if Santa Claus f%$ks, the poster of the underwater mail truck, if Matt has male menopause, all the fedoras, and so much more. Plus, we learn truly everything there is to know about the USPS AND new Paul childhood trauma drops. Listen now or the Ragman will get ya! Tix for our Spring 2025 tour in Austin, Denver, Seattle, Boise, San Fran, Portland, & Los Angeles are on sale now at hdtgm.com.Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of TraumaFor extra content on Matinee Monday movies, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerTalk bad movies on the HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerFollow Paul’s movie recs on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/Check out new HDTGM movie merch over at teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmPaul and Rob Huebel stream live on Twitch every Thursday 8-10pm EST: www.twitch.tv/friendzoneLike good movies too? Subscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastWhere to find Paul, June, & Jason:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on social mediaGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm.

Ho ho ho is what Santa said when he saw his daughter in this film. We saw, you've got Christmas mail, so you know what that means. Now it's time for How to Discrepate. We're gonna have a good time, celebrate some failure, not just be the hater, cause either you wonder how to disrepate. Let's follow in the mediocrity of subpar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question, how did this get made? Hello, people of Earth. And I mean that because this is going out all around the world. Welcome to our virtual live show of Christmas Mail, AKA You've Got Christmas Mail.

And I gotta tell you, this movie came out in 2010 and there is very little information about how it was made. We have a little bit, but not much. All I can tell you is this. This is a movie about a mysterious woman who comes to town to write letters from Santa to all the children in the small beachside community

and gets mixed up in some postal intrigue and reinvigorates a man who has been left with a child that he may or may not should have had, but love is in the air and Santa is watching over everyone. It's also a movie that if you told me was funded by the United States Postal Service, I believe you. All right, we have a lot to break down tonight

and let's do it by bringing in my two co-hosts. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jason Manzoukas. Ooh, welcome. What's up jerks? What's up Jason? What was that? What was that? It's a little candlestick.

Oh, I love that. What are you talking about? It's my little candlestick for Christmas. Now Jason, I know you're- Uh oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This movie, wow, whoa, whoa. This movie, wow, wow, wow. This is like the movie that it seeks to answer the question, what could you do with unfettered access

to a US postal facility? I wanna talk about the postal service because I got a lot of thoughts about it, but you know, there is somebody that truly does have a lot of thoughts about the United States Postal Service. Somebody who has some bold opinions about it. Now I have not heard what she has to say about this movie, but please welcome my other co-host June Diane Rayfield.

Hi Paul, hi Jason, how are you? I am good, how are you doing June? Oh man alive, this was a ride. Mere moments ago, you had to watch one more minute. Just seconds ago, I had another browser up while we were doing our tech check. And I finished the last, I finished the montage of them in different, the postcards that I guess were sent back to one of the postal workers. And I just want to say, I was, just so you know, Jason, what Paul's

referring to is for, for a while I was under, I thought that taxpayer dollars were funding our postal system. You would think, I would have thought the same because I myself started wondering why do they keep calling it corporate? This is the government, is it not? Well, yes and no. And I think that's the tricky, there's such a gray area to the postal service. And I know we want to bring on our guests, but I just for a while I was like, why isn't universal health care right? And why are we paying in like let UPS and FedEx battle it

out like what, what is this? But it is a self-funded organization, but it is also a part of the government and paid for by first-class stamps. But anyway, we're going to get into it. You were saying for a long time, defund the postal service. And by the way, I still feel that way. And I will feel that way.

And I will say that you said it so much that we were given an ornament of the United States Postal Truck as like a, June, maybe you should come over to- But I still can't, I still don't fully have an understanding to either of you of how the post office, because I know they're in debt.

This was the curtain being pulled back for me. To see, to see how the sausage is made. Oh. And the guy, the boss man, who is, I mean, it's as if he's in the most important job in the country for mail service. That he, he's such a villain. He said they call him a Grinch. But he seems to think he's powerfully important, but he's such a villain. He said they call him a Grinch, but he seems to think he's powerfully important,

but he's not. I gotta tell you, get ready, because later in the show, I'm gonna reveal some things. There is not a lot of information about this movie, but there's a lot of post office workers who have a lot of opinions about this film. Oh, I cannot wait.

So we will break into that. Because, okay, and let's bring our guest on, Paul, but I just wanna say. That was my segue. about this film. Oh, I cannot wait. So we will break into that. Because, okay, and let's bring our guest on, Paul, but I just wanna say. That was my segue. I know, but I wanna bring her on. But hang on, but hang on. But hold on, the one thing I just wanna say is,

you mentioned unfettered access to a postal facility, but I truly do wonder if the post office, in order to pay for some of its debt, because it's running at quite an opposite, is trying to rent out spaces. Well, there is actually, and before we bring out our guest, I know we have to bring out our guest, there was a show, I was obsessed with it,

paid for by the United States Postal Service, an hour long drama like a CSI law and order. What? Somebody, hold on, wait, what are you talking about? Bring out our guest. Someone in the chat just said that the post office lost $7 billion last week. Okay, we're gonna get- Yes, that's what I'm saying.

We need to get our guest out here. Please welcome a holiday staple. How did this get made? All-Star, our fourth player, if you will. You know her as a crone. You also know her as a co-host of the Deep Dives. So crazy to hear you welcome my dear friend as a crone. Okay, go ahead.

Jessica St. Clair, welcome Jess. Hello, hello. Where's that crone? There she is. I'm big in that big crone energy. Yeah. That B-C-E. B-C-E. B-C-E. that big, a big, that big crone energy. Yeah. That BCE. Guys, I want to reveal something because I feel like I have to disclose this.

My grandfather, may he rest in peace, was a postmaster general. What? Of Scranton, Pennsylvania. This is not the same side that has the Fabergé eggs. This is the other side. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, okay. Wait a second.

I was gonna say, how could a postmaster general afford all those Fabergé eggs? Or maybe they can. I guess they can. Or maybe they can. It was a very influential position. And let's just say we had ties in Scranton to the mob. Because of that.

Oh my God. This is outrageous. Outrageous claims. He was best friends with the rag This is outrageous, outrageous claims. He was best friends with the rag man. No, absolutely not, absolutely not. You are not connected to the mafia. This is minute one, minute one.

And you're spinning a whole story. Let her cook, let her cook. This is the start of a new podcast, an investigative podcast of a local Scranton postmaster general gets mixed up in the mob. Guys, do you remember the movie where Scorsese made what's his face young and it was very upsetting? Yes, yes. The Irishman.

The Irishman, okay. And he has an interaction with the rag man who was like the head of the mob. I'm telling you in Scranton, my grandfather was his best friend, okay? And that is why my grandfather, even when he should not have been driving and had many car wrecks, was allowed to keep driving

because of his influence with the rag man. Okay, you have to stop saying the rag man. The rag man. I need you to stop saying the words the rag man. Well, I'm surprised because I do think of the United States Postal Service, as much as I've called for the defunding of the entire organization. Yes, I do think of them as pretty clean in terms of, you know, the organization, like, what are you paying?

What kind of what kind of business is what kind of cash is being exchanged with the mob and for how do you think the supermarket flyers get in your mailbox they're working out deals with Wegmans and Gelsens and wallbounds they're like hey you give me hey forget about it the rag man's gonna make it all go away we're getting rich off of male male shenanigans the bufalino crime family stole all those publishers clearing house checks. And now we're gonna cash them these big old checks. Ooh, we're here in Scranton, the locus of all organized crime.

Forget about it, the Rack Man. It was a very big center of the mob. You know what, go back and watch the movie, okay? The Sinclair's get all their mail three days before everybody else. Jessica Sinclair can send a letter direct to Santa. The rag man delivers it. I do wanna, before we get into the movie,

I do wanna bring up one thing. Cause there's been a constant rallying cry online. They're saying, why are you not doing Hot Frosty, the Netflix film that came out this year? And I will say, I like research, so I watched Hot Frosty. It is literally beat for beat the same movie as Snowmanse where the girl puts a scarf on a snowman and the snowman comes to life.

It's slightly better than snowman's in like... Is that possible? I mean, that's what I was gonna say. I didn't know if there was anything else to say about it. So for those of you wondering, Hot and Frosty, we've already done it. Here's what I'll say. I'll say for those people who are upset

we're not doing some other movie, get fucked. Yeah. Get fucked. There's your T-shirt. Get fucked. This is the movie we're doing. We did this fucked. There's your t-shirt. Get fucked. Get fucked. This is the movie we're doing. We did this movie.

I will say this, that this movie, Christmas Mail, or We've Got Christmas Mail, however you want it, because it has different titles. I love this film right out of the gate because they are shooting clearly in Los Angeles or a sunny Southern California town. And everyone is dressed in winter coats. It's very Pasadena coated or Altsina.

Yes. But like, but they're wearing like winter caps and like there's a plot, there's a plot moment where like the little girl leaves her mitten behind. I was like, why is she wearing a mitten? It's 80 degrees out. It looks, it looks decidedly hot and humid. But what I also love about,

and whoever makes these movies, I don't know if this is a Lifetime or a Hallmark film. Marvista. But I mean, that's not a channel. Marvista Entertainment. Right, like, so Marvista, they're not paying for extras to say a goddamn thing. I thought it was a silent film.

So you basically have people- Oh, there's no audio. There's no audio recording. There's just like library music. It is, the kids cannot talk in this movie. Like there's a lot of extra work throughout this entire film where people really are doing the most without being able to speak or even make sound.

You know, I have so much to say. I guess let's just get right on into it. But please. I really resent this idea that letters to Santa need responses. Wow. I deeply, it offends my Christmas culture. Wow.

It does. I never expected, I never as a child expected a response. I never got a response. Not okay, in this movie, it's not just a response, it is a correspondence. The child, Emily, is going back and forth with Santa in a way that is misleading, frankly, and dangerous. I'm sorry, Jason, she's not going back and forth with Santa.

Those letters are not from Santa. I'm sorry, she's going to Christie. I'm sorry, she's going to Christie is what I mean. No, I know, but Christie is, but What I couldn't get to the bottom of is, who's Christy signing those letters as? I believe Santa. No, she's not. No, she's not?

Oh, okay. She's the mouthpiece of Santa. And is she only writing letters to just this small community? Yes. It seems like that. She suggests that there are other people and that she has traveled and lived in other countries. She went to Hong Kong.

Yep. She did it in Hong Kong, but she seems not to be in the center of a major city. She seems to be, like you said, June, an Altadena, like a small suburb of a major city. So either Santa has a ton of kids that are all in small suburbs, or she's just really random.

Here's what I think we were supposed to understand. I mean, this movie is the female elf. Yes, right. I believe so. Because when she says she has so many brothers and sisters, I think she's referring to all of the elves at Santa's Boy. Yes, she's referring to the elves,

but she's saying, she herself though is not an elf because she's too big, she says. But the elves don't come from Mrs. Claus's vagina, right? Okay, now this is interesting. Where do you think they come from, Jess? I thought they were just a magical race of people. I didn't think they were Santa's kids. I agree with you, Jess.

I'm fucked up. Why the fuck is Santa a full grown man who's actually like quite big? Why is he popping out? Well, hold on, what does that have to do with anything? Well, he's like a large man. He doesn't look like an elf is what she's saying. He doesn't look like an elf.

There's nothing else like about him. He's a man. So, yeah. But I mean, like, is he employing them? I think it's sort of an internship. That's the whole oompa loompa controversy. You know? Yeah. Are they being employed or are they being paid?

Is their health care? Well, here's what I'll say. I saw, I saw Wicked and I was upset when I saw Wicked that the Munchkins were normal sized people. And then what I understood it to be was that when they made Wizard of Oz, the film, they made that choice to have people that were about the same size as Dorothy. But in the book, the original book, they were, they're just supposed to be like, you know, five foot tall. So maybe, maybe elves, we've just been, we've been fed a bag of bull. Maybe elves are normal size people. I don't know. She seems to say that she has like an uncountable number of siblings, you know? So does that mean in fact that she is Santa Claus's daughter by the old fashioned method,

are the rest of her siblings or are these her, she's calling them siblings. Like fake brothers and sisters. I'd love to know how many babies have exited to St. Clair's point, Mrs. Claus's vagina. Well, by the way, if she is Santa's daughter, Santa's old enough to be her grandfather. So then, and also as Mrs. Claus.

Al Pacino just had a daughter and a baby. That's fine Jessica, but so is Mrs. Claus. So is Mrs. Claus, you're absolutely right. Mrs. Claus. I would believe you if you told me that these people were all 500 years old. Like I don't know what time means to any of these people. The only kid I know for sure that Santa has had

is Fred Claus. Who's Fred Claus? Which is, I think, Vince Vaughn. Yes. I believe Fred Claus and his brother, which, oh no, yeah, Fred Claus is the only Santa. I think the movie is telling us that Santa, in the world of the movie, Santa is Christy's father.

Father. Yeah, Mrs. Claus. I told Paul, but I read a really funny tweet the other day saying like, I will know that feminism has been successful when Mrs. Claus gets a first name. And it really made me laugh. But anyway, I think that-

Well, let's start it. Should we just, can we start trying to, what would we like it to be? That's such a good question. I mean, like, let's, let's, let's dig in. Sandy, Sandy Claus. Sandy Claus? Sandy and Santa.

Sandy and Santa, that's- Sandy and Santa, that's cute. Chrissy, I think Chrissy is good. Chrissy Claus. Chrissy Claus? Chrissy Claus. Sandy Claus and Chrissy Claus. There's a fun couple.

That's a fun couple. I want something more kind of like Nordic, like Santa. Like something- Guys, do you know about the Santa Claus couple in Los Angeles? I was at, I believe like a cheesecake factory and I saw a couple that looked exactly like Santa and Mrs. Claus.

They were dressed in their outfits. And I mean real beard, the whole thing. And so the server said to me, of course I got into it with her small talk, the art of small talk, you can get it on Spotify or wherever. It's a great book. You can download audio books. But basically she said, this couple just happens

to look exactly like Santa and Mrs. Claus. And during the Christmas season, they go out to eat as much as they can to act like they're just, that kids are seeing Santa in the wild. Whoa! Oh, I love that. That's awesome. And it's like, so for the month of December,

they're just everywhere. But it's a little strange because he should be at the North Pole. And they hand out paperwork for their OnlyFans? Yeah. Exactly. I just looked on some Icelandic names here. There's some good names for women.

Sasa, Sasa Claus. That's interesting. Sigrid Claus. In the chat they said Gladys or Olga. I saw one that was, I liked Martha Claus. I like that too. I mean, these are all old fashioned. Siri Claus.

Siri Claus. Oh brother. It is a name. We will figure it out. But I did type in before that the Santa fuck. I did. Wait, what now? I typed in the Santa fuck because I don't know.

Paul. What? Yes, I want to know. I want to know. Paul. Well, what came up was- Paul. Paul.

Paul. There are Santa- Paul. Paul. Paul. There is, there are sent... Paul. Paul. Paul, though. Paul. There is, okay.

Paul. There is. Paul. But there is a sent to finish, but people are confused because he has no zipper on his pants. Oh, now that's interesting. Well, he's got suspenders on,

so I see those just come down. Oh, hope for hope. Plus he's moving so quickly through such cold air, the zipper would just be too drafty. That makes sense to me. That makes sense to me too. People argue that Santa is the ultimate daddy dom. Whoa.

God, stop reading. Absolutely. Is this from the chatter? You just still online. Stop, get offline. He's kind yet firm, soft yet strong, capable. Santa is a power top. This is ADHD at his best.

Daddy Dom. He can't stop himself. Daddy Dom, by the way, maybe the shirt is just Santa Claus. It just says Daddy Dom on it. Nobody's in no place. But nobody wants that. But it's, here's the thing, but it's Dominic Toretto's face.

That's what I was gonna say. Yep, there it is. Oh, disgusting. Oh. How did this get me? How did this get me? I will say this. This movie gave me, and I wrote this down right away,

I'm incredibly impressed by the postal service. Like watching the mail go through slots, I felt like I was a kid watching like Sesame Street. It was like, wow. I would Street. I was like, wow. I was totally, I was feeling that too. Like if we could spend more time seeing someone, what I would have loved as an opening is really seeing the same letter go through the process.

That would have been nice. Follow it into that thing. Let's go down there. And why can't it be Emily's letter? Because they didn't have access, all they had was B-roll. Here's the question. Paul, this is a question for you. Are they shooting in front of a green screen?

Did they have that technology? Because it was very upsetting. Here's the thing, I thought that same thing too. I believe they're just backlit because every time I'm like, oh, that's a green screen, they would walk backwards into like a full set. Yes, so like when they're in that place, they walk backwards into it.

So I think the lighting is just, I think they're silhouetted too weirdly because they also have that green screen effect in his house. There's no reason to have the green screen in his house. Well, never forget the VFX I really wanna talk about is during the cookie decorating scene. Oh yeah. When the sprinkles, when things get crazy. Can we play the sprinkles fight? Let's play the cookie decorating scene. Yeah, when the sprinkles, when things get crazy.

Can we play the sprinkles fight? Let's play the sprinkles fight. That's clip nine. It's kind of a secret project I'm working on. How's that secret project going? Not very well. No one seems to like Uncle Matt very much. Oh, no.

I mean, are there powers at play? You look really cool. With the green sprinkles on you. Oh, boy. I mean, are there powers at play? You look really cool. With some green sparkles on you! Oh boy. Food fight! Is this because they could only do one take? Is my question, is like they couldn't clean it up?

I think you're right, because they also, it's not fun the way they're dropping sprinkles on people. Like, it seems like, they're not throwing it, it's like they're jumping. What do you mean? They're dropping sprinkles on people. Like it seems like they're not throwing it. It's like they're jumping. What do you mean? They're smiling and laughing so much. It looks like so much fun. I really think they didn't have the time in their limited schedule and budget to reset the hair.

I think you're right. So they were like, we have to just, but why they would choose the one thing they can do practically is that. And that's like, yeah. Cause I bet you it's not showing up on camera. No, but then let's throw icing at each other. Let's do something else. Let's make little balls of dough

and throw it at each other. They're really struggling here because they're also like, they can't light anything. Every scene has to take place in the middle of the day. Like they don't have the ability to do anything in service of making this make sense. I think. Yes.

I could not, first of all, there's a lot we need to talk about with Matt and Heather. Like why aren't Matt and Heather together? That's a question. They have great chemistry. Put that over there for a second. Who is Carlos? Who is Carlos?

Wait, who's Carlos? But really, who is Carlos? Isn't Carlos in the band? Carlos is in the band. I believe Carlos is Heather's boyfriend and that's why they keep mentioning him. But boy did I think Carlos was gonna arrive at some point because he's talked about quite a bit.

Carlos is the one who's doing scales. Who's like, la la la la la. That band is terrible. That band is terrible. That baby is terrible. Heather is not in the band, right? She's like the band's like spiritual leader. No, she's in the band. She's in the band.

Is she in the band? No, she's not in the band. She's the band manager. No, she's in the band. She helps them like relax. She's like the Metallica doctor. Yes, that's exactly what I thought. Some kind of monster. She's like, yeah, she's there to help like relax. She's like the Metallica doctor. Yes, that's exactly what I thought. Some kind of monster.

She's like, yeah, she's there to help them relax. Oh, that's terrible. I agree with you though, June. It was cryptic because I thought she was within the band as well, but she is able to leave so easily. And it's this thing where they want you to think that, or they want to give Christie North a reason to think, oh no, mailman Matt might be married,

because he's gotten Heather to come and help him with Emily. But what a terrible plan, like, because she gets confused, she's like, oh, he asked her to meet her at the park. You wouldn't ask your wife to also be at, it's like, also don't introduce your daughter to a woman you do not know. Well, it's not his daughter.

He makes that very clear. Why don't you stop it? Can you imagine if you were in charge of a child that you were like, and tonight a woman you just met is gonna tuck you in. That's a fucking horror movie. And by the way, I have so many questions about- But that kid wanted to get him laid.

She was ready to go to town. She'd do anything. I wanted the movie to be about mailman Matt fucking Mrs. Johnson so hard. I wanted the triangle to be Christine North, Mrs. Johnson and Matt. Because she was hot to go. Mrs. Johansson was hot to.

Johnson. She was Johnson, whatever her name was. She was ready to get fucked. She was ready for it because it felt like she was in on it. She was ready to... Johnson. She was Johnson, whatever her name was. She was ready to get fucked. She was ready for it, because it felt like she was in on it. And Matt wasn't. Matt didn't know what was up. But she felt like, she was like, yeah, fuck this guy.

Oh, she was wearing her sexy turtleneck. She was like ready to go. Yeah. And they put on... And you know, I thought that this movie robbed us of the awkwardness of the scene. Like they basically put them at the table and then hard cut to him like washing dishes.

And I'm like, give us something, give us a little bit of something. But I felt like they were nervous because they also knew that their audience for this movie are older women. So they didn't want to like go too hard on like older women. They did a number on older and single women on this movie. Oh yeah.

I don't think they held back. I don't think they held back. I don't think they held back. Oh, the single parent support group? Yeah, the single parent support group. Here's my question for Matt. And I guess a PSA, like if a child who's lost both parents in a devastating, I guess, car accident, I don't think it's ever explicitly said.

I don't think Matt even knows. Some sort of sudden death, this nine-year-old child, and she asks, if I talk to my parents, can they hear me? The answer is yes. I mean, why? Yes! The answer is unequivocally yes. I agree.

He's like, that's a tough one. It's not a tough one. The answer is yes. Well, here's the thing. The fact that it threw him for such a loop that he had to call Heather. Like you haven't talked about this? Oh, he's a mess.

He is a mess. He's written to be, he's old, but he seems written to be like 19 years old. Like truly clueless. When he talks about the will, he says this thing that shook me to my core. Cause he's taught, he took a dramatic scene. He's like, you know, when my sister and husband died

in their will, they said, that was the best uncle ever. And that's why I have this kid. It's like, I don't think they put like best uncle ever in the way. It's not like a hallmark card. It's not like, they can give him a mug. Like, you know, it's like, it's like, it's like, it also felt like he was bragging.

It's like, yeah, I was the best uncle ever. So, I got the kid. He just seemed so depressed. So much so. He really, like, he bummed me out. I will say the actress who played Christy Holliday or Noelle was her last name. Oh, she was a breath of fresh air.

Christy North. She was a breath of fresh. She's a North. Christy North. She's a star. Terrific, love her. She was fantastic. I want her to be endlessly watched. That's Ashley Scott, by the way. And she was great and incredibly watchable playing a character that is not of the world of the movie.

The rest of the people are trying to be like in the real world and she is this heightened magical kind of from a mystical, a magical world kind of person and doing incredible job in and amongst everybody else doing what is bizarre. Just like, yeah, go ahead. I wish they had given her more physical comedy till we could really see what Christine North is made of.

For you video game nerds out there, she is the motion capture and voice in The Last of Us, part one and two of Maria Miller. So that's good for her. She's one to watch. She certainly is. You know, I did think to myself, Jason, that when she let that pigeon land on her, I thought, boy, this is a role that if Jason had been off of it and they said you're going to bird work. Same, same. You're gonna have a couple days with a trained bird. Absolutely. You would have said no, thank you. Even if our industry is collapsing,

even if there's nothing on the horizon. You would never do bird work. I'm not a good enough actor. I'm not a good enough actor because the minute the bird came close to me, I would smash it to the ground. My instincts would take over and I would destroy the bird. I would have to.

That's the only answer. I would grab it, slam it, twist, slam it. Travis Kelsey, touchdown. Pfft. Wait a second, wait, hold on Jess, hold on, stop it. Travis, hold on, back it up, back it up. Travis Kelsey, touchdown. Bird touchdown.

He does touchdowns, right? Yeah, that is a thing. He absolutely does. Yeah, so stop fucking laughing. Here's the thing though, Jason. Here's what I agree with you about. If I'm writing a movie and I want, if I want to get across this scene where this,

we really get to see how magical she is that she can speak to humans and creatures and- But yet she can't speak to a dog. That's interesting. Why isn't Rudy on a leash? Oh, this is another- I have a bigger question about Rudy. By the way, this is another trigger for June,

but we continue June. It is. Yeah, if she's magical. My question is, because I've seen this a few times in these types of movies, but when they wanna do this type of scene, they'll put a pigeon on a hand. Give me a bluebird. Isn't there a trained bluebird?

We can do anything. This is a Marvista production. They're not getting bluebirds. They're literally taking that bird out of a tree. Pigeons are fucking flying rats and we all know it. I know. And if a pigeon comes near any of us, we will kill it. Travis Kelsey, touchdown.

Travis Kelsey, touchdown. Go birds. Fly, eagles, fly. Heather, God bless, who also really did sparkle on the screen, she brings a child over. You think you see a crazy woman with a pigeon on her hand. You're gonna go, hey, can I let my kid touch your pigeon? That's like bird flu for everybody.

Very strange. And Heather, I have to say, I thought the actress did a great job, but I couldn't make heads or tails of what her story was. It just seemed like everyone wanted to get Matt laid. And like, at one point Heather's like, she's like, you don't have to be a good parent. Just play your guitar, go play video games.

Don't worry about this kid. If you're like, everyone was like, don't worry about this kid. You're taking this responsibility too hard. She's a child. She has to worry about this kid. It's his legal responsibility. He has to, yes. He must.

But the decision at the end, which I guess we're all supposed to be rooting for, is that he does yank her out of school. I really think it's a mistake. He does yank her out of school and he does start her on like a bit of a carny childhood. No, we all know how that turns out. I don't think that the Yellow Muse,

I don't think the Yellow muse is gonna have too many tours in their future. Is that what the band's called? Is that the name of the band? Oh yeah, that's from Chelsea Downey in the chat. She saw that yellow muse is the only poster on the wall. So the yellow muse, I don't think the yellow muse-

Well speaking of posters, if we're gonna talk about posters and background story, I must spend a little bit of time on, when we are with Mr. Fuller, the poster is a warning poster for male drivers. And it says something along the lines of like, could this happen to you? And it's a poster of a mail truck that has fallen into,

yeah, good. Oh yeah. What? Fallen into a poster of a mail truck that has fallen into, yeah, good. Oh yeah. What? Falling into a body of water, but I did pause it right here and looked at that body of water and I was like, is that a pool? Is that a, what could this happen to you?

What could it be? I also paused it. I also paused it and I have a theory on it. This is a mailman, mail carrier, who's decided I need to deliver the mail, I'm gonna drive through that puddle, it doesn't look too deep. A puddle?

Yes. A puddle. That's more like a sinkhole scenario. Here's what I'll say about what you're showing me right here. This image is what it tees, because up in the upper right-hand corner, it says Gilmore the Merrier Binge-a-thon,

which just tells me that there's about to be a Gilmore Girls marathon, which I would so much rather be watching than this absolute nightmare. I know. I'm in the middle of season three, by the way, Jason. Rewatch. Rewatch. I just finished season six. Season six rewatch.

Why are we not watching it together? Oh God. But yes, the guy in this poster died, drowned. But what is it? That's so many mailmen drowned. But what is he in? Is that like a Bahamas? A pond?

It's very clear. It's very clear. It's a bog. It's awfully clear. I think he's driving through a large puddle but he misjudged it. He's like, oh, that's just gonna be a small puddle. You never drive through a puddle with your car.

But what do you say he turns into? That's not a puddle. That's a puddle. Okay, moving on, Paul. I'm not even gonna dignify that. One thing I laughed so hard about was when we first meet Matt, we can see pretty clearly that he's wearing

like a number of bracelets. Yes. And I was like, what's this all about? Like, what are the, what's this stacking all about? This bead. Well, because it's so interesting

because it takes so long for the other character to say, just give us some of that rock and roll. And I was like, wait, what? And then they go back to the bracelets. Yeah, that's what it was. The bracelets are good. Andrew and I thought about you too while watching because of his bangs. They're so strange. They go up. It's like a bang should be- Really tough time with his hair.

It was like someone had stuck a, I don't know, like a pitchfork just in the front. But that was to show us that he had a bit of rock and roll in him, I think. It was, and he had a lot of gel and like a lot of like, this piece is gonna go that way and this one's gonna go...

The troubling thing was his sides were too long. I don't wanna get into that. I guess that's it. I'll be honest. The real troubling thing when rock and roll became rock and roll, when they start to do the rock and roll performance, is the movie just starts drowning in fedoras. Everybody on screen is somehow immediately wearing a fedora, which I was like, no,

this could happen to you. Now I double know this band is terrible because it's fedora based. The minute he put on that fedora, I lost all respect for him as a musician. And I'm so sorry. And for Yellow Muse. Yellow Muse is good to get rid of this fedora wearing douche. Well, yeah.

And Child Protective Services, let me just get this out, needs to take Emily away. Oh, hard to say. They need to be called. A thousand percent. Heather should be like. He tells his daughter, his daughter calls him and goes,

dad, how do I turn on the gas stove? Like the daughter is basically saying gas is leaking into the house. And then it seems like he takes about 45 minutes to get there. Why don't you stay on the phone and be like, get out of the house, turn it off. Okay.

I love when he says, when he is taking that phone call, he's like, hold on one second. Yeah. No, just give me one second. he's like, uh, hold on one second. Yeah, yeah. No, just give me one second. I'm like, I wanted to scream. Just tell her like, turn it the fuck off. Turn it off.

Whatever's on, turn it off. Get out of the house. Or run out. But she was just messing with him to get him to come home because she was springing the Mrs. Johnson date on him. Right? Yeah. That was our leading story, Mrs. Johnson.

But what's so strange about that, now put it together timeline-wise. He's at work talking to Christie North, right? He gets a call that says, oh, I'm starting the stove from Emily. He races home and it's already dinnertime? Like, it seems like he left him. It's always time for dinner

and it's always time for lunch. And it's always time for him to clean up. If I... There were so many shots of him... And it's always sunlight. It's always daytime. ...of him toweling off a lasagna dish. I swear to God, that's why his life is so sad. He's constantly doing dishes. He's constantly eating food. He has no sense of time.

Well, it really was sad, sad dad. Sad, sad dad. Sad dad energy. Can I show you, this is picture number two. This is his kitchen curtains. I think this is to keep out the light. This looks like a sleeper cell. Yeah.

I mean, what is that? The, okay. The set designer needs to be killed. That's where you put somebody in front of that to read a hostage note. That's what I mean. Yes, you could send this picture to Child Protective Services, they would take her away.

Agreed. The saddest thing is like, those aren't even curtains. Like that brown thing, the way it's billowing out at the bottom. I don't know what that fabric is. At the top, it's just like on some string. It's on some loose string. What are we hiding?

What is on the other side of that window? Bright, bright daylight. Bright daylight. Bright sunlight, oh God. Matt's game is so sad though. When he is trying to like get things going with Christy, he first invites her to lunch, which I'm like, okay. And then he says, it's gonna be a picnic.

I'm like, okay. And then it's an indoor picnic. An indoor picnic. That's fucking weird. And why? All of these things were backed up. It's like somebody would have an idea, oh, we wanna have this scene at the,

so let's back up the reality of what would he have to do to get her then to go outside. It's so- Well, here's, you know what was crazy to me is, he asks her out, nothing happens. She calls him and leaves him a message that says, you know what, I would like to do lunch. She makes an effort.

He, the next day just shows up in her office and he's like, you ready for lunch? He's not called her back to confirm the plan. He's not reached out and gotten in touch. This is a movie that exists, it's 2010. There's almost never cell phone usage, almost at all. He in fact- Except when Santa calls her.

Except when Santa calls her. And she pops a squat when her dad calls her. She's walking in from the door. Oh my God. Well, time for a phone call, let me put down my suitcase and take a seat. Like she does not even understand the walk and talk of what cell phones are.

I mean- She doesn't seem to understand the world in a way that seems like Buddy the elf doesn't understand the world, but she lives in the world for two months every year. But she also doesn't have any of that fun of... I don't know, she has none of that elf quality, like, ooh, what's that? And what's unfortunate is I think she could do that work. They just, she wasn't really given the opportunity because she had the energy.

She had the, I'm not gonna compare to Will Ferrell, but like she had a really- She had the spark. Yeah, she had a sparkle to her and I wanted some more physical comedy. But this is the issue that, this is what you get. When you do this, when you make these movies where a character who's too innocent comes down,

you can't have them in a romantic relationship because it feels like you're taking advantage of them. It's too awkward. Like I watched that Hot and Frosty or Hot Frosty. It's like this guy is like a sentient snowman and he's so scared and then like, they don't want them to kiss. It's like he doesn't know what's going on.

It's like big. Yeah, it's like big. That I could never think for one fucking second that he was taking advantage of her. Yeah, but I'm gonna tell you this, June. When they have their fedora moment and then it's so creepy that like the music comes on and like, and then, and here's what I don't want a guy ever to say to me.

And maybe this is post-election. Okay. Okay. Shh. Shh. Close your eyes. Don't fucking tell me. I don't know you.

I don't know you. Don't you ever tell me. Don't you say shh. I am. I am. Jess.. I don't know you ever. Don't you say I don't just dare. Hey, Jess. Shh. Hey, Jess. Yeah.

You want me to burn your fucking house down? Tell me to shh. Don't. Okay. Just for like a weird slow dance. If you tell me to close my eyes, I am assuming I'm going to wake up. There's going to be a bunch of dogs in my face and I'm gonna have to punch my way out! How did this come in?

How did this come in? The thing that offended me, honestly, almost more, was the fact that they kept on using pastel colors in a Christmas movie. Oh wow. I know that's been a thing for you for a long time. What are these Easter colors doing in my Christmas movie? I'm seeing greens. At one point I saw, I think, like an antenna with like, with St. Patrick's Day clovers.

I'm like, this is a Christmas movie. I think they have one warehouse. I mean, I'm also just impressed that the kids in this movie have access to green and red envelopes. Like most kids are sending normal, you know, they're not getting red and green envelopes. Well, the other thing is this town is fielding entirely too many letters to Santa.

There are too many children in this town, I believe. And his daughter has no friends. She has no friends. According to me, according to me, a childless man, Matt the mailman is collecting a volume of letters that the town simply cannot sustain. Or this is a situation where the town is made entirely of children.

It's one of those weird ones. I am on the postmaster general or the head of the post office side. It is mucking up the works. I mean, it's too much. It's bags and bags of mail. It's like BTS moved to town. I mean, there's one moment though

I do love when she's going through the mail. This is the other friend, was her name Sally? Oh, Sally. Sally, who was great. Love Sally. Sally is great. She picks up a package and she's like, oh, from France.

Oh, bonjour. And I was like, but it's still in a USPS box. So I was also like, wait, so the France, like someone got a USPS box and then sent, but it's also like, she's still enamored with mail, which is like a lot of people. Well, that's why it's nice that she gets that promotion. I also felt, I mean, again,

I'm coming from a lineage of postal workers. So that's, I'm speaking from my- Close your eyes, Jess, and remember. Don't you fucking tell me. I'm gonna tell you, so you will not come with me to that haunted house I go to where I put the blindfold on. Dugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudugudug in the very beginning of the movie, he's struggling. We've all seen mail carriers. They've got a cart. He's having to carry all these packages on his own and stumble back to the truck.

It's like, that's just not how it goes. Well, I do. He has no truck. He's just doing, he's just walking this town. Yeah, he's walking this town. I'm with St. Clair. The authenticity of the mail service is being challenged in this movie.

When he puts that letter in his mouth, that's a crazy moment. She puts it there. Disgusting. She puts it there. She puts it there. And by the way, He opens his mouth for it, Jason.

That is the most erotic beat of the movie. That is the most sexual this movie will ever get. Absolutely. Let me ask you, in terms of sexual innuendos, let me ask you this, when he's with his boss and he says, I'm grooming you, Matt, you've been groomed. And I wanna see myself in you. I really couldn't tell whether that was intended

to be an innuendo because no one makes it wasn't. No, the word, I don't think so because I don't think the word grooming was being used that way into any, I'm sure it was, but not the way that is so foregrounded now in 2010. I don't think this movie is smart enough. The one question I had for Mr. Fuller, you know, was if you're so against Christmas, if you're so against like all these letters and what it does to your system and how they can't be opened and opened letters per bag and unopened letters per bag.

Why are you wearing a Christmas tie? No, no, that's that. I thought that that's gonna realize that's postal service tie. That's government. I've never seen red as part of the postal service. The postal service palette is blue and white. Well, he also gives Matt a red tie

when he gets the promotion. So that seems to be like some sort of like, I don't know, I agree. Cause he is cast as a, he's a Grinch. They call him the Grinch, you know? My favorite moment in this movie, and this goes back to what you were saying, like I can see myself inside you.

I don't wanna, you won't see me inside you. They don't really have like the fun witty banter because at one point when they're making the cookies, he goes, oh, I think I'm about to get schooled. And she goes, you are about to get schooled. They had no chemistry. I was like, well, that's not a, you can't say that. They had zero chemistry.

Just say class succession. Yeah, something. You wanted to rewrite this movie, Paul. You almost want to take time away from your paying gifts to rewrite this movie. There was no stakes and no sizzle. No sizzle. I thought I'd almost prefer to watch a trashcan fire. That's how lacking in footspah. And you know what my theory is?

If I may. Please. That's how lacking in footspahs. And you know what my theory is? If I may. Please. I think that Matt, the actor. Yeah. I think he had more chemistry with Heather. And I think that he was not comfortable playing a romantic lead opposite a woman

who was taller than him. Oh, interesting. I've seen this dynamic play out. Number two. Wow. Yep. That's because everybody's shorter than Jude and I. And we have to come up with some reason they don't seem too psyched to make out with us.

No, it is. I have seen this a number of times because men do not want to stand on a little apple box. No, and we all have to, you know, I would happily stand on a three quarter apple just to smooch Elizabeth DeBeccy. Get up on that apple box. Oh, I believe it, I believe it's six two.

That's a real man, Jason, by the way. Yeah, true. Oh, happily. Hats off. Let me, let me stand on that apple box. I will bring my own apple box. That's weird, man. Really, men don't want to get that sweet smoochy?

Men don't want to stand on Apple boxes in front of a crew full of teamsters? No, they don't. I've got my own smooch branded Apple box that I bring to all my shoots. For a classic smooch and shoot. Smooch, smooch, getting high on a smooch box. Wait a second, can I just say one thing?

Jason and I wrote a pilot where we had to kiss each other and we didn't realize that we was gonna have to actually do it and right before- We didn't have to just kiss each other. We had to passionately make out. Well, you wrote this, folks. We wrote it, but then it was like a shock to us that this happened.

First of all, he never thought it was gonna get made. Who's making us do it? Right before it happens, Jason goes, I'm going dead inside, like that, and then kisses me. That's how, he literally was goes, I'm going dead inside like that. And then kisses me. That's how he literally was like, I have to exit. I'm exiting my body right now. It was horrible.

It really wasn't out of, it wasn't out of body experience. It was the worst thing that has happened to either of us. But imagine. Kiss and tell Jess, was it a good kiss? Was it a good? I don't know because we both had to exit our bodies. I can tell you that pilot did not get picked up to series. Oh man. I don't know because we both had to exit our bodies. I can tell you that pilot did not get picked up to series.

Oh man. I'm going dead inside. Oh, could we talk, could we just talk about the makeover that she's given in the bathroom? In the bathroom at the post office? I clocked, again, this is what I mean. Like they're obviously like, we have to have a makeover. Let's put her in a crazy outfit.

Cause at first I was like, this is one of the weirdest, ugliest outfits I've ever seen her wearing. It was a rugby shirt buttoned all the way to the collar and then a scarf as a tie and then a very unattractive card. When she unbuttoned her shirt to reveal yet another shirt underneath it,

that's when I was like, oh, now I feel this is weird. She's wearing too many shirts. The other thing that made me feel like the sexual chemistry was a problem for Kristi North and Matt, and discomforting for him, is that she did have no sexual energy or no mature adult energy. She seemed such an innocent in the way that Buddy the elf sometimes feels innocent.

So that also put me off. He was so asexual to me and so post sexual. Even in the fedora? He was in like male menopause. Like I was like, this guy's fucking gone. He's got no juices running through him anymore. Wait, wait, male menopause? Is that a thing?

I don't know. I wish it was. I wish it was. He's in the throes of it. I'm going through male menopause right now. You fuckers deserve it. I wish you went through male menopause. He's in it.

It's like things have dried up with Matt. And so that's why I never felt like uncomfortable because I was like, she's got more life force and vitality and like, then in her fingertip than this guy does, I was just like, I'd rather see her with Mr. Fuller. Okay. Oh, I would rather she, I want to see her like in a more natural, I want her to be like

seeking something better, seeking something wonderful. Like Matt is going nowhere fast. She's lived in Tokyo. You know what I mean? She's been all over the world and now she's just settled down with us. But what does she want? She doesn't want for anything. What does she do for these other 10 months? That seems like she's a vacant, like she seems like she goes into like a hole for 10 months. She's not living. She goes back to the NP. She goes back to the NP and has a class. Well, it's like the people that live for summer camp. You know, those two months of summer camp,

that's when they come alive. The rest of the year, they're just marking time. All right, well then let me tell you what the internet, when you type in this movie, the internet, they have a darker reading on the movie. What is, why are you doing so much Googling? This is research. It says in the movie, they have a darker reading on the movie. What is, why are you doing so much Googling? This is research. It says in the movie Christmas Mail,

the ending sees the main character, Christy North, finally reconnecting with her estranged father, Tom. After discovering a series of old letters that he wrote to her mother that were never delivered, revealing his deep love and regret for leaving them. This realization prompts Christy to outreach out to him, leading to a heartwarming reunion on Christmas Eve,

signifying the power of communication and the importance of family. This is a different movie, Paul. That's not this movie. This doesn't happen? Well, this is what the AI is. Stop talking about AI. We just went on strike for fucking eight months.

I swear to God, Paul. And you can't stop bringing up AI. What is happening? This is what AI is saying that the movie's about, but I also wanted to bring this up to say, is that maybe a more astute reading? No, there's nothing about that. There's nothing about it.

We have not seen her have any magical powers. She has no magical powers. She can talk to birds. She can talk to birds. What did she say to that bird? She said, how is the wave? She had a whole conversation. How is your flight? She had a whole conversation.

How was your flight? I talk to my dog all the time. Here's the thing. She can't talk to her dog, but she can talk to birds. We didn't get it. She didn't go, oh, I'll help you with your nest. We don't know that she, she just is a person who talks. Plenty of people talk to animals.

Okay. I have four birds in my house. We talked to them all the time when I was growing up. Four birds. You had a bunch of birds? Yeah. Where's that chapter in your book? I had growing up. Four birds. You had a bunch of birds? Where's that chapter in your book? I had giant birds. That's a reveal. That's a reveal. They even in the book.

The birds aren't even in the book. It was too sad? They cut that chapter because it was too sad? I wish I didn't know that. There's nothing more heartbreaking than being in a house full of things that deserve to be flying free. Trapped, trapped animals.

Except once that little cage is open and those birds do get out, it's actually quite terrifying and you want them back in their cage. So you also don't wanna be in a house where the birds are flying free around the house. Remember when I brought you home, June, and you got to sit,

the guest room was by the bird room. Guys, when I tell you- The bird room! The bird room! The bird room is by the bird room. Guys, when I tell you- The bird room! The bird room! It was a bird, like sort of- We used to have a bird room. I'm sorry, did you have an aviary in your room? We used to have a whole, in our first,

in the house I grew up in through high school, it was a specific bird room that played television for birds that they liked. We had certain VHS tapes for them. You know this bird, the main bird I saw and I knew, talked. Sugar. Yeah. Sugar.

Sugar and Gabby talked. Oh yeah, that's the whole thing. What did they say? What did they say? What did sugar say? Sugar, sugar want a cracker? No, no, no, I can't. Single, single Paul, single Paul. And then it was sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar,

sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar,

sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar,

sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, Paul? Yep. Paul? It was so upsetting. No! It was so upsetting. No! That's awful. It was awful. And then I would come out,

I was brought home to this situa- I was brought to- Oh my God. To stay over this situation, okay? And I- You didn't run for the fucking hills, dude. And it was also like, not only were there in a cage, but a lot of times there was a towel over them.

Yeah, to keep them quiet. Over the cage, to keep them quiet. And we have to put Tabasco sauce on the wall because they would eat the wall. I'll tell you this much. We just said something, Paul. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Eat the wall?

T.O. What do you mean eat the wall? Are you kinda like, because they would get their cage closed to the wood. T.O. Yes, Paul, because they wanted to get out. Because they needed to get away. These were Paul's birds,

he was doing the best he could. T.O. What do you mean it's not Paul's birds? They know his name. But then he wasn't the owner of these birds. I want to tell you the most disturbing fact about these birds. They were like his siblings. Much like, much like Christie and those elves.

These were the only siblings you had. You were different too, Paul. You were different because you didn't have feathers and a fucking beak. Your siblings had beaks, baby. When we moved in, and this is before my mom, my mom got married to this gentleman. And before we moved in, I remember the first night there, the birds did imitate sex noises.

And that was really disturbing to me. What? Wait, that must mean that they had heard the sex noises. And it was like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. That was really upsetting. My whole high school. Wait, but did they, at any point in there, did they say Paul?

No, that was a separate one. A separate one was Paul. Oh, it was so sick. But I would, let me tell you, I would. I feel sick. When you're at your new boyfriend's house and you're like, oh, I gotta, I have to shower and I wanna get ready and I wanna,

they've put out some towels and Paul's like, yeah, just go over to the bathroom. But I had knew I had to walk past the birds or bird. It was only sugar by the time I was there. We accidentally killed some birds because we left a stove, a pot on the stove. And that- Not me.

There's no blood on my hands. And what? The gas killed them? No, sometimes if you keep an empty pot on the stove, it heats up the metal and then the metal creates a fume. This is so creepy. How this didn't make the book is shocking. I really... There's so many things that did not make the book.

Because there's sex, there's sex, there's murder, there's so many things that did not make the book. It's so- There's sex, there's sex, there's murder. There's all sorts of- And they love Pee Wee Herman. They love Pee Wee Herman, and they would watch Pee Wee Herman, and you have to put on, because whenever they would hear the word of the day, they would go crazy,

and all six of them would go, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, birds, two biggies, and then four littles. There's a budgie. Just please know that you walk into the house and it was, there were also many chihuahuas. It was like Ace Ventura, you know, pet detective, like the noise. The noise is pretty loud. We get complaints from the neighbors.

Yeah. It was constant and had a pitch. Cause they were just, they were screaming. Screaming. Non-stop unrelenting. This is an emotional lie. One time my mom took one of the birds out of the cage and he bit her through the ear.

What? I'm done with this. Close this feed. Shut the feed down. I don't know what's happening. What on earth is happening? Well, how do you, why is most of this, 80% of this episode is digesting the true nightmare

of you living with six birds? It bit her through the ear. It's all to prove my point that- He's an amazing man, he's an amazing man. And birds live a long time. All to prove my point that a lot of people think they could talk to birds, but the birds aren't talking back. Okay, Paul, we're sorry that this triggered you so deeply.

We didn't realize, we're sorry. We'll pay for the therapy or whatever kind of trauma work you have to do around saving this movie. Oh my Lord. So, I just wanted to put it out there. So we do believe that Christy North is truly Santa's daughter. She's not delusional. They have a very special relationship.

I did like her relationship with Santa. I loved how readily available he was. You liked it? I liked it how she was able to call him with all he has on his plate, especially around Christmas. He was always picking up. He supports her when she says she's not coming home. He's supportive and says have a wonderful Christmas. He's excited that she's with Matt the mailman.

I mean, I would imagine at a certain point, he's like, he's also like, I'm psyched that you're not coming over for Christmas. I need to sleep. Yeah, seriously. I would love a remake of Failure to Launch, except it's Santa Claus's family. And why they won't get out.

Right? Yes. Ay yi yi. They won't get going. By the way, Paul, what's the band's name? Yellow Muse. Yellow Muse. Yellow Muse.

Why is, why must they leave to start this tour on Christmas Eve? They got a gig on Christmas day, which is a strange time to have a show. Here's the thing, it seems like Matt's been out of that band for a long time and they're like, hey, we're on tour. He's like, all right, you'll slot right back in.

Doesn't seem like they, like, it really seems like they fell apart without him. So like, how are they booking this tour? Yeah, who's out there? Has anybody replaced him? Has somebody replaced him? I would have loved to have gotten deeper into the band dynamic.

Obviously we had opinions about this movie. There are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions. I won't watch a lot this Christmas I'll have time for one movie It won't be elf or white Christmas or a Hallmark love story. I'll be watching Christmas mail. Hope it's not a Christmas fail. It is. Let's not be too harsh. Guess that I'll just rate it five stars. Beautiful.

Look at that red lip, June. Beautiful. Now earlier in the show, I did promise that you'll hear from some real male people. Now obviously, Jessica, this is gonna hit close to you because you have these connections. Oh, do you think we'll hear, Paul, will we hear from the rag man?

Probably not, he's dead. Asking for a place. I wouldn't say that. You know what, they'll come for you, Jason. will we hear from the Ragman? Probably not, he's dead. Asking for a friend. I wouldn't say that, you know what, they'll come for you, Jason. Wow. What do you mean? If I just make a call. Oh, you're gonna make a call? Yeah. Ragman Junior?

Write a letter or postcard? Ragman Junior's coming out? Yeah. To Little Rags? Hey, thank you. They're gonna write to Little Rags? Ragboy? Hey.

Oh my God. You're gonna write some little rags? Rag points? Hey! Hey! Oh my God. There are 412 total reviews. 77% of them are five star reviews. We'll just jump right in from this review in 2019 from Paul J. Snodiky, who says, current USPS workers, especially retired employees, will find this film very true

to the workplace culture at the USPS. What? Also, anyone watching this feel good Christmas film will enjoy it, five stars. And the title, USPS People Will Find This Interesting. Wow. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm glad, I'm glad to hear that there is a shred

of authenticity inside this movie. We'll get to more of it in a second, but first we'll hear from Grandma of Nine. Grandma of Nine titles her review, great movie for the Christmas holiday. It's dated 2014 and she writes, though most of our family usually keep Santa to the side and go for the original Christmas story. This movie was an exception. There is not the usual

materialism involved, but rather character and right choices in a day to day life. It is a great little story. Even if you don't believe in Santa. Five stars. Grandma of nine does not believe in Santa. Hey grandma, can we go over to your house? Well, we're not gonna talk about Santa. I tell you that much. That's like when- Keep Santa out of it.

That's, you want a grandma wants to keep Santa out of it. I will tell you, that's like when I went over to my aunt's house and my aunt- Oh no, uh oh, here we go. My aunt looked right at me and she said, there is no Santa, only Jesus Christ. But did you write a Christmas letter to Jesus? I did, he wrote me back.

Send me some, please unbutton a couple buttons in the top there, like, all right, I'll do it. Whoa, JC, what's up? Tony wrote this in 2012. This was a Christmas present from my mom. She loves to watch Christmas movies. I haven't watched any of the movies that I bought off of Amazon for her,

but she hasn't complained. Five stars. All right. And then this one comes from J. Alec West and it was written in 2015 and he writes this. I am a retired postal worker and thoroughly enjoyed this lighthearted Christmas time tale. It's playing on the TV now.

And I just came to Amazon to buy the DVD so I could watch it again and again. By the way, regarding the postal manager featured in the film, you might be surprised to learn that many postal managers in real life are just like that guy. I mean, not all, of course, but many. One suggestion, Post Office, a novel.

That's for those who wanna know what working at the post office is really like. The novel was written in 1971, but in most cases it's not dated. Computerization and automation might be new, but the personalities are spot on. Five stars. In most cases, it's not dated. Computerization and automation might be new, but the personalities are spot on. Five stars.

Let's not forget, you know, the phrase going postal was about like the post office shootings and workplace shootings that were happening. Wow, way to bring it to him. Yes, it's true. The postal workers were overwhelmed and undervalued and they would begin fired and come, they would come up and shoot up the place. Well, now let's talk about the ending of this movie

where they write the postmaster general who is just handwriting letters as well, hand writes a letter and is able to demote the manager to truck washer. Is that possible? Well, Jessica, you'd know as a child of a postmaster general. Well, it was exciting when I saw the postmaster general get featured.

Did he get tingly like it might be your relative? Yeah, maybe it was like a AI generated version of my grandfather. But first of all, he was in a very like, is there a postmaster general of all of the United States? Because where he was looked very presidential. I believe there is. The PGM is selected and appointed

by the board of governors of the postal service, which is appointed by the president. I just wish someone could give me like another arm of the government like the post office. So I could try to wrap my mind around the checks and bounds of it all. What is this? What is this scam that we call the post office. So I could try to wrap my mind around. The checks and bounds of it all. What is this? What is this scam that we call the mail? What is it and why aren't they a functioning business

if they are sort of self-funded by the stamps and packages? So here it is. So the United States Postal Service is primarily funded through the revenue generated from selling stamps, products and services. Meaning it is. So the United States Postal Service is primarily funded through the revenue generated from selling stamps, products and services. Meaning it is considered self-funded and does not receive direct taxpayer dollars to cover its operating expenses.

Essentially, people pay for postal services to keep the post office running. All right, so that is what's going on. But what if that stopped? What if people stopped? I mean, I'm sure people have stopped mailing. That's what I'm saying. Stamps are, people don't mail stuff.

Well, what's happening is why they're running into problems is declining mail volume. And because they have to deliver to remote areas, things become less profitable. But here's the thing, after the- I've fallen asleep. I am asleep. I love that this is just-

I am upright, but I am asleep. I couldn't be more, I just fallen asleep. I am asleep. I love that this is just becoming a podcast. I am upright, but I am asleep. I couldn't be more, I just woke up. A podcast, an explainer podcast about the American Postal Service. I still have questions though. I don't, I don't care. Here's what I'll tell you though. We've barely talked about the movie.

We've talked exclusively about birds in the post office and not a second about the movie. We get back to the birds. That was fun. The United States Postal Service has not covered its expenses and debt for how long? I don't know, 20 years now? Not when my grandfather was in charge. 30? 15 years. All right, he was dead by then.

Okay, so it's $6.5 billion last year. That was the debt. And they are, that was compared to a net income of 56 billion. It made 56 billion and they were still in a 6.5 billion debt. Well, someone needs to sharpen their pencils, but I don't care. Doge baby.

Please, please stop Googling things, Paul. I beg of you. Like you're- I mean, this show is rapidly just becoming a Google- I just don't want this. A series of Googles. Just asking questions and having Paul Google the answers. Yeah.

It's so weird. We are boomers. It's embarrassing. It really is. It's embarrassing. I don't want this. By the way, I'm just forgetting, we've been having so much fun talking about

the U.S. Post Office. I haven't. Have we? I haven't had one stitch of fun., I'm just forgetting, we've been having so much fun talking about the US Post Office. I haven't. Have we? I haven't had one stitch of fun. I've had a great time. Have we? Let's take some questions. I forgot about taking questions.

Molly, is there any questions up there? Some questions here. Get me out of my misery. Was this movie in fact funded by the USPS? I mean, this is, I agree with that. Like I thought it was. I thought this movie, the fact they got this much access to it,

like I don't know, I feel like they may have stolen that access. Or maybe, I don't know, can you get cameras in there? it, like, I don't know, I feel like they may have stolen that access or maybe, I don't know, can you get cameras in there? Also, it was all those just like fake, like banners tacked up, you know, on the walls. So I don't think- On the exterior as well.

I was wondering, this to me, I was wondering, was this a situation where this was like shot in Canada and that's a Canadian male facility or something like, it's clearly a male facility, but like, who had the access? Because they seem to be able to, they have the run of the place. I will tell you, I was shocked one of the last times

I was at the post office was getting our son's passport renewed and we had to go back to the like main facility area, the sorting facility for his picture. And I couldn't believe we were allowed back there. You got to have access. I couldn't believe it wasn't like a security issue, but it looked a lot like what the movie depicted.

So they must've just, like I guess what I'm saying is I don't think it was a factory or something. No, it wasn't a set. I think it was a male facility. I No, it wasn't a set. No. I really thought it was a mail facility. It was a mail facility. It was a mail facility. Because there's also sections that seem to the point of

whoever said it seemed stolen in places. There are like forklift drivers. There's B-roll type footage that appears to be just a functioning post-op facility. How about when he rides up on that tricycle? How fucking weird was that? Okay guys, I realized I did not tell you something that's important.

Oh my God. Okay. It better not be a Google you do. You're Googling up a storm. No, no, this is about me. Be present. I'm not Googling. I'm just realizing I did it.

What? And then I double-checked. I don't. I responded to letters to Santa Claus from the United States Postal Service. What are you talking about? So, you Santa Claus from the United States Postal Service. What are you talking about? So you can go on the United States Postal Service website and you can respond to letters from Santa.

You can just accept them as- Letters from Santa or to Santa? Or to Santa. I looked at my account, then I did definitely respond to letters from kids, a while ago. Wait, what are you talking about? Okay, so there's something-

I'm having a panic attack. All right, so there is something called the USPS Operation Santa, where you go online and you sign up for an account and then you can read and adopt these letters to Santa. You have to adopt the letters? Well, you could like, so you adopt and you say, I'm gonna respond to this. So you raise those letters for the rest of their life?

You said $5 a month to these letters? No, you, and that feeds them the whole year. Like, this one opened up right here. It says, cause I went into my account, I'm able to read it right here. It says, because I went into my account, I'm able to read it right here. It says, I would like a bean bag, one talk from my, it says, dear Santa. I was like, how do you, I don't have access to my Netflix.

How do you have access to an account for Santa letters? Like so readily available. Because I was remembering the other day, I was, as we were talking, I was like, oh, I think I did this. And then, and then- Do you think Christmas mail is about you? Like, I feel like this is like your true life story.

I mean, I don't know. I mean, this is Dear Santa for Christmas. I wish for a shark car wash, Hot Wheel Track, a Nerf gun with extra bullets, remote controlled shark, candy except for nuts or peanut butters, not allergy related, minion fart blaster gun, a bath bomb, green or blue, a new robe size, size seven, soft and cozy, maybe the Sonic the Hedgehog and a Sonic Chia the Pet. I love this.

This is a great list. That's from Evan. He's six. He sends this list. His parents don't see it. And you're allowed to write to this child? Yeah. That sounds really problematic. Do you have to do a background check? Well, because you're signing up.

You're not, you're like, you're acknowledging that you got this thing. Cut and cut and abort, abort, cut. It's a wrap. It's a wrap on this conversation, okay? It is a wrap. I'm not doing anything this conversation, okay? It is a wrap. I'm not doing anything weird. Oh.

I don't know what this all is. I don't know what all is going on, but this conversation has ended. If you are listening right now, the adoption ends on December 16th. I also am, I'm sorry, I just remembered, I also am part of a service where I get letters

to Santa daddy and I respond to the letters to Santa daddy. I'm just so concerned about what your like algorithm is going to be serving up after some of the searches. Well, I just say that because I thought it was- This isn't a search, this is his email. Or if the police are gonna arrive at your door. And maybe they should. To look at your search.

Next question, Molly. What was that about the red ties? Dear Santa, dear Santa daddy, I want- A bunch of red ties. You just sit on my face. Great job, Jacob. So many red ties. So many red ties.

So many red ties. And then in every subsequent scene, Matt is wearing a different tie shirt color combination, which is also very bizarre. At one point, he's wearing like a black shirt. He's wearing all black. I was like, has he done a heel turn? What's going on?

What do you think about his rock star look at the end when he had his legs up on the desk and his hair all gelled up? I didn't think he looked cool at all. I didn't like it. I didn't like it either. I didn't like it. I loved that the tie was a clip on. That made me laugh. I was like, we can't even, this is,

what a world these folks are living in. What a world. How about this? How about this? At the end of the movie, oh my God, at the end of the movie, when everybody has thought they've missed each other and Matt, and nobody can get in touch

because apparently there are no cell phones, even though we've seen them have cell phones. So Matt says to the woman who's now the head of the post office, you know, I'm like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. they've missed each other and Matt, and nobody can get in touch because apparently there are no cell phones, even though we've seen them have cell phones. So Matt says to the woman who's now the head of the post office, he says, if she comes back next year, if Kristi North comes back next year,

give her these letters, okay, great. It doesn't matter, same day, they are able to find Kristi North. By the way, Matt the mailman could have done the exact same thing. He doesn't try very hard. That is something I know. She doesn't even leave town.

She's still walking down the street. She's still walking around Stars Hollow. And he's like, great, I'm going on tour. Bye. Right. So she shows up and the woman gives her the letters and his is like a folded up, like written on the back of a receipt. And his penmanship is that of an infant. Thank you so much for pointing that out, Jason. Big letters, big lettering.

She should look at his letter and be like, oh, I made a mistake, toss it in the trash and walk away and never look back. Well, Paul's handwriting is very similar. Whoa! Blew up my spot, that's why I get the good Santa letters. It's very, I've come to know and love it, but it is a very, when I saw it I was like,

childlike, there's a lot of childlike wonder in it. People say I have amazing penmanship. You do, you do. And that penmanship was very clear. It's just not every day you see it from a grown man. Okay. Were you ever taught to write in cursive or? Yeah, I can write in cursive or?

Yeah, I can write in cursive. Do you know how to do it? I haven't seen anything else. I couldn't tell you the last time I wrote in cursive. I almost exclusively write in cursive. That's what's so crazy to me. Like why would you write in cursive? It's a sign of great intelligence.

It's a sign of great intelligence. To write in cursive? No, it isn't. Is that right? No, it's not a sign. No, it's not. of great intelligence. It's a sign of great intelligence. To write in cursive? No, it isn't. Is that right? No, it's not a sign. No, it's not. I love it. It's so much easier.

You don't have to lift up the pen. It's just a smooth. Who has time to lift up a pen? Not me. I'm correct, right? There's a scene in this movie where Christine North shows her dog, Rudy, a sketch she's done.

What is that? She does the sketch. She says, he's cute, what is that? She does the sketch. And says, she says, he's cute, right? Showing the dog the sketch. And we know that she can't talk about it. I assume she did it. I thought it was from Emily. No, the kid did it. Emily did it.

No, it can't be from Emily because that looks like the work of like, someone on the Santa Monica pier would draw like a caricature. She's good. That wasn't from Emily, was it? I think it was from Emily. Either way, either way it's crazy. And it makes absolutely no sense.

It was nuts. And it's also like, if that's Emily's work, then he needs to stop performing and get her to some sort of like gifted scope of the arts. Make posters, that's what she belongs, she belongs in the road. Making posters? How fucked up is it that Matt never even finds out,

we never even get to see from Matt the realization that this is Santa's daughter. He doesn't know, he doesn't know any of that. It's never revealed at all, which is very strange. She gives Emily a winkeroo and says, sometimes family is closer than you think, which doesn't really make any sense anyway, because Santa's not close at all.

He's in the North Pole. It seems like a sequel for me. I'm like, I'm excited for that sequel. Then you can bring Matt there. Like a Meet the Fockers, like a Meet the Fockers, but it's Santa. The third act of the movie, the third act of the movie should have been on tour

with Christie North making the posters. We get to see all of the songs, because that's the other thing. We get the scene, we get the karaoke-esque scene. That was a very upsetting scene. Where Matt is playing full guitar. It's the fedora scene, we call it. Matt's playing full guitar.

There is a track that is every other instrument is playing. We have drums, we have bass. I can't hear anything. I can't hear the lyrics. It's mixed very weird. The daughter is singing into, well, this daughter is singing into not a microphone, but a water bottle, which is very strange.

And she has a terrible voice, Heather has a terrible voice, and Matt has a terrible voice. Let's watch scene 10. Let's end on scene 10. Yeah, let's watch this. Matt is an excellent guitar player. Voted best epic solo at the Starlight Lounge four years running.

That doesn't seem like something to brag about. Only seven hours and 40 minutes till Gilmore. 740 till Gilmore. I don't know why I'm playing in such a place. This is a countdown to a marathon of Gilmore. I've been working on something, please. Please, please. Cue fedoras.

One, two, three, four. ["Jolly Old Town"] Who's playing drums? Are we not supposed to be able to hear them singing? I think they did the right choice. This actress is doing the worst. They are singing into water bottles. Those are water bottles.

Bedazzled water bottles. Bedazzled water bottles. She's wearing, I didn't realize she wore fedora too. Oh yeah. Oh, the fedora budget is off the charts. She probably just borrowed one of his. So much leather furniture. So already the chemistry between Matt and Heather is much more like her.

Is off the charts. No, but I actually, it was so good. I thought the movie was going to end with like, oh, Heather and she fall in love. Because that's a family I could put together. I agree because Heather is meanwhile raising this little girl. Yep. Well, Heather just takes a flight to go meet him. I also just want to applaud Kristi North.

If you're not watching, if you're just listening to us talk about this, her face, her reactions, you know, no one was on set. She just gave it her all. I mean, she's so... Oh, yeah. So, oh, by the way, that's one thing I wanted to bring up about this movie This is a movie that if you are interested in cups having no beverages in them. This is rampant People are drinking out of empty cups throughout this movie so much. It's upsetting to me. That's your thing. Oh

Yeah, this is this is the scene where these two sneak off so these guys can have a dance Oh, yeah, this is this is the scene where these two sneak off so these guys can have a dance I'm very clumsy and I have I have two left feet then you can Just close your eyes I don't like this To get put on your shoulder. Here you go. Oh, she's... Oh, so creepy.

And that is the spirit of Christmas right there. Making a woman close their eyes and dancing with them and then... Ew, ew! Winking to your daughter like like I got this one. Your niece it's not his daughter which she reminds us of many many times. Look at that. Oh god they're doing so much improv. It's so much touching and...

Look she's towering over him. She has to lower her head. She has to lower like a dog. They lower their heads. They sort of bow to you. She's towering over him. She has to lower her head. She has to lower like a dog. Like you lower, they lower their heads. They sort of bow to you. Oh, would you recommend this movie, Jason June, Jessica, what do you think?

I don't know. I don't know. I wish there were sex scenes in it, but absolutely I recommend it. This makes- If you just wanna do some research, honestly, if you just want, if you're interested in the USPS like I am,

then yeah, I say watch this movie because it does give you kind of behind the scenes look into what it's like to work there. I also just, by the way, all jokes aside, this isn't a bit, in all seriousness, we sent out our Christmas cards a few days ago, the next day, okay? And that was through USPS, the next day, I got texts from people, yes in LA,

but then the day after, people on the other coast saying I got the card and I thought, okay. God bless America. Okay, post office, okay. We should get them. Oh, wow. So, I mean, despite the fact that the business of the post office seems to be running itself

into the ground, they are able to deliver. This is an episode that is just about the post office. So strange. And the birds that Paul lived with. And I did Google it, and everybody that was on set the day that the pigeon was there got hepatitis A. Well, I'll tell you this much. The book, The Post Office, a novel,

written by Charles Bukowski. Wait, what? Oh, who was a postal worker? There you go. Who was a postal worker. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Bukowski. Bukowski worked.

So that is the book that was recommended in the Amazon five-star review. Right here, it's got a 4.3-star review, There you go. So that's- Okay, okay, okay. Bukowski works. So that is the book that was recommended in the Amazon five-star review. Right here, it's got a 4.3 star review, but Charles Bukowski, it's a classic book about his journeys, alter ego. We wanna talk about shirts really briefly. As people vote in the chat,

I just wanna bring up that how this committee is going on tour. We're gonna be all around the country. We're gonna be in Austin, Denver, Boise, Seattle, Sanise, Seattle, San Francisco, Portland, and Los Angeles. We're also doing a three night residency in LA in January. And we'll have dinosaur shows in LA and San Francisco.

You can go to hdtgm.com right now for tickets. If you go on the tour tickets, use the pre-sale code bonkers. And the number one voted shirt is the rag man. The rag man of Scranton. Is that an option? Okay, the rag man. The rag man, call the rag man.

That's a real, wait guys, that's a real person. We might wanna not do that. I know. I just typed in the rag man. The rag man does not pop up with anything too. I am so worried that I have now unleashed a lot of retribution against my family in Scranton. I'm very worried.

The Ragman is, there's multiple people called the Ragman. Do we wanna just have a picture of our lead guy in a fedora? Great. I like that. Great idea. All right, so how about the Ragman in a fedora called the Ragman? And maybe you can make a memorial shirt

to your grandfather, what was his name? Thomas R. Quinn. That was the grandfather that named his cat after himself, June, that guy had it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk about. Thomas R. Ballsy move Thomas R.

Yeah, kitty cat is named after himself. You two did an amazing, a special on Veebs, which we were on right now. Can people still watch it? Absolutely. You can still buy tickets to the Deep Dive Christmas Spectacular. It's a Christmas show that's all about all things Christmas that Jessica and I hosted. And it was absolutely wonderful.

And it is still available to watch on demand. If you go to either Veeps or the deepdiveacademy.com. Tickets are still on sale. Can whatever the t-shirt image is, can in the upper right-hand corner, can it have the countdown to the Gilmore binge-a-thon? Can it just have the little text in a box that just says, count down to Gilmore binge-a-thon, seven hours, 40 minutes. I almost feel like that should be a separate shirt,

just the countdown to Gilmore binge-a-thon. I think 40 minutes. I almost feel like that should be a separate shirt, just the Countdown to Gilmore Binge-a-thon. I think that that's a great shirt. I would do both by the way. I'd wear that shirt. I'm gonna make two shirts. Jason, do you have anything you wanna plug? No, just the tour. Yeah, the tour is gonna be great.

Also my book is out there and you can get an autographed copy of Pod Swagg. But if you wanna personalize- Great Christmas present, great holiday present. It was Vultures, one of the best books of 2024. Very honored to be on that list. People are calling this- So great, also great audio book.

Oh, thank you, yes. We have some people to thank here tonight. And speaking of another audio book, Jessica has her audio book, The Art of Small Talk. She plugged it in the middle of the show, great book. I sure did. And great book for- Maybe we could use another plug. it in another show, great book. I sure did, and great book for... I thought maybe we could use another plug. For those holiday parties, great tips.

Oh, I'll plug a great... That's true. Great tips. I'll plug a great audiobook, if you don't mind. It's called The Third Gilmore Girl, written by Nellie Bishop. Did you read it already? You listen to it already?

I listen to the audiobook because she reads it, and I found out things that I did not know. Did you know she originated the role of Sheila in a chorus line? And it was based on her life and she won a Tony award for it. Wow. God, we gotta have a separate podcast all about that.

That's amazing. I wanna give a shout out to so many people who helped put the show together tonight. Matt and Bart over at Vep's, we love them. Zach McAleese, the ghost of Craig T. Nelson and Kyle Waldron, all that amazing art that you saw when the show was first starting, that is because of them. I also want to give a shout out once again to Avril Halle who picks our movies, Found Christmas Mail.

She is the best. We love Avril. Molly Reynolds, really just behind the scenes killing it. What is Avril's channel? What's Avril's channel called? Movie Bitches. She is the best. We love April. Molly Reynolds, really just behind the scenes killing it. What is April's channel? What's April's channel called? Movie Bitches. You can follow her on Instagram. You can watch her on YouTube at Movie Bitches.

I also want to give a shout out to Cody Fisher, Scott Sonny, Jess Cisneros, and our engineer Casey Holford. That is our entire crew. Everyone is working their ass off to get this up and out tomorrow afternoon. That's how quick we're doing the turnaround here. Everybody, thank you so much for watching. We appreciate you all buying a ticket for this,

supporting the show. We've been doing this for 15 years. Jess, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. Coming out all the time. We love it. We love having you here. Deep, deep dive, listen to it. Love it. It's great. We'll talk to you all in

the in the new year. Bye for now. Bye everyone. Happy holidays.