How Did This Get Made? - Cobra LIVE! w/ Brian Posehn & Rhett Miller (HDTGM Matinee)

Episode Date: July 29, 2025

Imagine Dirty Harry, but more violent and with robots. Brian Posehn (The Big Bang Theory) and musician Rhett Miller help Paul, Jason, & June cover the 1986 Sylvester Stallone action thriller Cobra. LIVE from Bumbershoot in Seattle, they discuss everything from Stallone’s obsession with food, the modeling shoot music video, and the New Order’s decision to attack in bright daylight. Plus, Jason reveals his childhood fear of killer clowns. Feel the heat! (Originally Released 11/13/2012) • Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, FAQs, and more• Have a Last Looks correction or omission? Call 619-PAULASK to leave us a voicemail!• Submit your Last Looks theme song to us here• Join the HDTGM conversation on Discord: discord.gg/hdtgm• Buy merch at howdidthisgetmade.dashery.com/• Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of Trauma• Shop our new hat collection at podswag.com• Paul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheer• Paul’s YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheer• Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer• Subscribe to Enter The Dark Web w/ Paul & Rob Huebel: youtube.com/@enterthedarkweb• Listen to Unspooled with Paul & Amy Nicholson: unspooledpodcast.com• Listen to The Deep Dive with June & Jessica St. Clair: thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcast• Instagram: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & @junediane• Twitter: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & msjunediane  • Jason is not on social media• Episode transcripts available at how-did-this-get-made.simplecast.com/episodesGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Imagine dirty Harry, but more violent and with robots. We saw Cobra, so you know what that means. Now it's time for how did this campaign? We're going to have a good time, celebrate some failure, not just be a hater, because you know you wonder, how did this campaign? Let's follow in the mediocrity of subpar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question. How did this get paid?

Hello, people of Earth and hello, people of Seattle. We are live at Bumberchute and you guys are in for a treat. We have an amazing, we have two guests today, two special guests, plus my two amazing co-host. Please welcome June Diane Rayfield and Jason Manzoukis. Also welcome our first special guest. You know this guy, amazingly funny guy, Brian Possein.

And our second amazing guest, a musical genius. Please welcome, Rhett Miller. Have a seat. There we go. All right. Here we are. Cobra. All right.

Man, I haven't seen this movie since I was a kid, and I forgot. I feel like today watching it was like, this is really just a rip-off of Dirty Harry in many respects, right? I mean, because it's like he's chasing like a killer, a serial killer, but he's just way more badass. Well, he's just like he doesn't. It's all the setup of Dirty Hedry Hes. Harry? Like, I don't like your tactics. You're too much, blah, blah, blah. But instead of fighting, like, one serial killer, he's

fighting an insane army of maniacs, which makes no sense. And it's Dirty Harry without the wit. Yeah. Somebody'll say, like, just even in that trailer moment of, you got an attitude problem, just a little bit.

Really? That's the best you have? They didn't hire any punch-up guys. Like, There's somebody else who said. No, they did. No, I'm going to go with just a little bit. It's not that strong. I think we can come up with something better.

Well, fuck it, just a little bit. What about all his hilarious banter with his partner over eating sugary food? I mean, really funny stuff. Oh, yeah. He's like, you should eat chicken and rice. I've actually come to the conclusion that Cobra has an eating disorder in this movie.

The way he cut that pizza was nuts, right? Yeah, he cuts a pizza with a fork and knife. Yeah, but he's so... And he only... He's the triangle part. Scissors. He cuts him with his scissors. And he is obsessed with what every other character eats.

And we've only seen him eat one... Not even a whole size of pizza, but a bite of it. Yes. We watched him to apple. I think that's what Stallone was going through at that moment. Like, he was really obsessed with food. And so they were like, well, we don't have any dialogue for this scene. He's like, let's talk about food.

Well, there's a scene. I'll make fun of the food that guy's eating. and they'll tell me she'd eat better like me. There's a scene when Brigitte Nielsen is in the hospital. She has been assaulted. And the whole plot, all of the plot pieces fall out and they know what's going to happen next, right? And at the end of the scene, inexplicably Stallone

picks up the food off of her food tray and starts trying to offer cheese to his partner and his partner wants cake. Yeah. Right? And he's like, come on, you've got to eat the cheese. It's healthy. You can't eat.

By the way, cheese is not healthy. No. Yeah. In 1986, though, they thought it was. My favorite moment about, like, with food was there, and this diner, he's protecting Brigitte Nielsen, and they have, like, this prop hamburger, like, sitting on a shelf, and it's big, it's very large, and he carries it over. Hey, you want this hamburger?

It was a big fit for a big family. And then he puts it back. Like, it was, like, sort of, like, a prop work that he would do. I was obsessed with that scene, because, well, my question to everybody is, do you think that when he got on set he saw that prop hamburger and thought, I want to do a bit with this. I got a video here.

Or do you think that was... This is a good with my food run. I can't. I feel like he's like, look at this thing over here. What if I come back, pick this up, but I come back on... Buh. I'm kind of doing a food through line,

so this will work perfect with my whole running food theme thing. But isn't that what makes... It starts in a grocery store where there's a lot of food. That's where they make food. right? By the way, though, in that scene, he's drinking a beer.

Yes, next to a Pepsi sign. The Pepsi is all over this movie, by the way. Pepsi definitely sponsored a beer. It's warm. It's just sitting out and he grabs it. It's not a cold beer. It's refreshing. Well, they show an entire Toys R Us commercial. They show a whole commercial. As he's sitting there, cleaning his gun.

To me, to me, I thought, like, I was like, why is Toys R Us and Pepsi going, we need to get into the R-rated Sylvester Stallone market? Like we need to get some... Toys R Us, we need to get that out there. Well, Toys R Us then did carry a line of Cobra guns, I'm sure. I'm sure there was with laser sights. This was like a movie that was built on, well, there's a laser sight on the gun, as if people were like, I've never seen that.

What is happening? This is amazing. First of all, Cobra is a man of a lot of different sides, obviously. We've already explored some of it, the food. I do want to just... I want to show the opening of the movie. This just kind of sets the tone for the world in which Cobra lives in here. In America.

What's that? Is that a Cobra? Is that a Cobra? And on robbery every 65 seconds. A violent crime every 25 seconds. A murder every 24 minutes. This is a dick. in 250 rapes a day.

And then the movie starts. Here's a weird thing, though, about the way that his character set up. He's set up as this cop who's really just, like this renegade cop who won't follow the rules and goes off on his own. We never see him do anything that's that unreasonable. No. And not only that, he's doing legitimate police work where the rest of the police department is acting like dildos.

They literally keep contending that there is a single serial killer. Meanwhile, dozens of people keep attacking both Brigitte Nielsen and Stallone. They don't want to acknowledge it. It's easier to catch one than an army. But his

tactics are completely reasonable. He looks through photographs. He talks to people on the street. He has like a composite done of what does the guy look like. I have no problem with that. But he's the zombie squad. The zombie, he's part of the zombie squad,

which they never thoroughly explain what the zombie squad is. Well, they thought this was going to do well enough for there to be a zombie squad sequel where you meet all the other zombie squad guys. But it didn't do well enough. Yeah, the zombie squad just seems to be like the people who get shit done. It's just him and the other dude.

It's just him and the dude that likes cheese. Yeah. And the other guy, his partner, can't be more unlike Cobra. That guy just is like, you know what I want? Gummy Bears. Like, literally, that's a line in the movie. That's a line. I looked it up.

That guy played a partner. Gummy bears had just come over to America then, so that was like a new thing. He was in a dirty Harry movie, Gonzalez. And he had the same name. Same name in the Dirty Harry movies. He potentially transferred down from San Francisco down that way. Character had the same name? Are you saying he's like munch?

He's been in, he plays the same name. same cop in everything. Whenever there is a cop who's going against regulations, he is their partner. He's got to transfer all across the country. And he just shrugs a lot and eats gummy bears. I guess Cobra's going to do what Cobra's going to do.

I like my gummies. I guess the question I would ask the other lieutenants and stuff in that police department is after the hostage situation at the supermarket, Cobra kills the guy who is holding these people hostage. He's already killed one person in a supermarket.

And they really, like, rip him a new one after that about how he did it. Meanwhile, this guy is killed... What would you have him do? This guy in the supermarket has killed children, people at point-blank range, like, and they can't get into the supermarket. He goes in there and he kills him. They're like, oh, how dare you? How dare you? Can we talk about before he kills anybody, he kills a lot of groceries? Yes.

He's, it doesn't even shoot people till like 10 minutes in because first he's like blowing up produce and then he sees some sodas he's mad at. Well, then he tells one. He's like the guy in the jerk. He hates those cans. He shoot, then one time he shoots at a shopping cart

and it explodes like there was C4 in it. There was. That's because there was. They do sell C4 at that C4. I've been there. I do, I do, I did pull the... That's why Cobra, what is he once? Yeah, he goes, oh, I don't shop here. Oh yeah, I had this clip.

This is, this is Cobra taunting the villain and then, uh, spoiler alert, killing him. Here we go. You're allowed to. There goes. I got a bomb here. I'll kill her. I'll blow this whole place up.

Go ahead. I don't shop here. Hey, just relax, amigo. You want to talk? We'll talk. I'm a sucker for good conversation. I don't want to talk to you. Now, you bring in the television cameras in here now.

Come on, bring it in. Can't do that. Why? I don't deal with psychos. I put him away. I ain't no psycho, man. I'm a hero. You're looking at a fucking hunter.

I'm a hero of the new world. Good disease. And I'm a cure. I just want to point out that in between saying, drop it and shooting there's no time yeah yeah

well also doesn't the dialogue feel like it was written by five different people yes it was like that game where you write a line then I'll write a line

then because it doesn't fucking connect it's almost as if they're like well we need a one liner here everybody write a one liner and then it was like

ooh I love all of these so it doesn't make sense together though just run them through Just run them through. We'll pick one. Oh, wait, we'll pick them all. Okay, good, great.

And he doesn't say them with too much. Like, you hear, everyone has heard that, like, you're a disease and I'm the cure. Like, he doesn't even say it with too much, like, Panache. He's just sort of like, you're a disease. I'm the cure. And I'm not a cure.

It's sort of like he's not even doing the, I'll be back. He's just like, yeah, I'm just saying this. I don't think he knows when he's saying a line. I don't care. I just throw out my catchphrases with nothing behind him. I don't care. Stick around.

Stick around. So curious about this gang because they say over and over that they're preparing for the new world. Yes. For the new world. See them, we see them underground in some sort of warehouse space all doing a group exercise together. It's a music video. Axes and sled chambers. It's a music video.

Literally they plank. And there's only like 16 of them. So how are they really going to take over the world? with 16 people with taxes. This to me is one of those 80s things like, oh, wait, there are secret killer gangs out there, right guys? Just like the Russians? They're all the same.

Like, there's something about like that to me. Like, when I was a kid, it was clowns. Like, clowns rode around in vans and would abduct kids with candy. Did anybody else have the clowns? No. What is that? Where did you grow up?

What's happening? Wait, hang on. What's happening? There was John Wayne Gasey, but that's one guy. I'm having one of those moments. I feel like something I assumed we all shared. Oh, Jason. It's unique to me.

You may have just seen Stephen King's It on TV and mistake it for a... No, no, no, guys, we were all abducted by clowns. You guys all thought the mushroom people were going to kill us, right? You guys all were afraid of the mushroom people, right? Everybody, right? When you say you were scared of being abducted by clowns, do you mean like killers in clown costumes?

Correct. Okay, all right, so not just like crazy clown. No, no, not real clowns, guys. John Wayne Gacy? Like that's what I asked? Yeah, that's about it. That's one dude. Yeah.

Because people would be like, oh, I heard the clowns were around after school yesterday. The clowns. This is a real thing. You guys are fucking assholes. You know what? You know what you guys could be doing?

Supporting me. You know what you're not doing. You're against me. You're against me now. Basically the entire movie, the plot of it is that Brigitte Nelson looked at,

like caught a fleeting glance of one of these killers, one in the army of killers, and then they decide that they must kill her at all costs, even though she doesn't really know what he looks like, and the police drawing is not even that good. They don't know that. I mean, they draw so much more attention to themselves by trying to get her. The thing is, they are committing all of these acts of murder.

They are called the night stalker, the night slasher. Yes. Right? But the police think it's a single person, they're actually a gang. And because she's seen them, they're like, we have to kill her, but then they out themselves as an army of people in pursuit of killing her, which is exactly against what they want.

Oh, guys. Well, I think, I have a theory that that main killer guy, who, by the way, is super creepy. He's really creepy. Oh, yeah. I think he was in love with Brigitte Nielsen. Like that, why, first of all, why would he walk towards her car so that she can see his face with no mask on and the way he looked at her, and then

when he goes into murder her, what does he say? He says, pretty hair. That was upset. He does. That was really upsetting. I thought that was super creepy. That's what I used to say to girls to get them to not talk to me. Just to establish how creepy you were. You would start with pretty hair.

Pretty hair. The main bad guy. What do you do? Oh, never mind. The main bad guy in this kind of looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger, like Terminator era, but then suck all the air out of him. So, like, he's kind of like a gaunt Schwarzenegger. Could anybody else figure out the time frame of this movie? Because this happens.

Brigitte Nielsen, it's the middle of the night, she's driving by the underpass, she sees them murdering someone, right? Yes. She keeps driving. Right. She goes and then does her modeling shoot. There's a day in between. There is?

Yes. I thought it was the same night. Because he said, tell me what happened tonight. And she said, when did you see them around 10 o'clock? Then she goes and does a whole modeling shoot. Then she's, they find out where she is in the meanwhile. attacker, then he saves, it's like four days of activities

appears to happen in 90 minutes. You know, you might be right, because yeah, they don't go to the daylight again for a long time. Do you have that modeling shoot? Yes, I do. Oh, my God. Get ready. This is part of the music video modeling

shoot. So, Stallone and his partner from the zombie squad are out investigating. Brigitte is doing a model shoot, and this is kind of what happens for four minutes. I cut it down a little bit, so enjoy. And I dare you

to not jerk off during this. Can I? Watch the wigs. These wigs are great. Robots. Do you have tattoos here? Holmes is here.

Yeah, we're looking for a tattoo. Oh, you got more tattoos up there, huh? She has nine outfit changes. That's four minutes of this month. Hey, do they have tattoos here? Hey.

What do you know about the night slasher? By the way, it looks like he is just beating, I mean, he just beats up that bartender for no reason, just grabs him. That's cover for you. Hey, I don't like visors. It was Angel of the City by Robert Tepper, a great song. But I've never seen a movie,

or at least an action movie, take a four-minute break for a music video. There's a lot of plot. He knows the streets. That's the thing that's been set up. Because he's on the zombie squad, he knows the streets. They're like, his name is Cobretti, by the way. Marion Cobretti. Which, the interesting thing about this was

his name originally was Axel Cobretti, and this was Beverly Hills Cop. But it became so expensive that he just took all of his ideas for Beverly Hills' cop and then made this movie instead. Yeah, Beverly Hills Cup was written originally for Sylvester Stallone. That's true. And they added all the comedy and after

when he left and Eddie Murphy came on. Yeah. And then there's another crazy fact... I think it would have been just as funny with Stallone. This is the better comedy. I would have liked the scene Sylvester Stallone play all those characters that Eddie Murphy does.

Is that a banana in your... Oh, fuck. That is a banana in your tailpipe. Victor Maitland gave me herpes Do you think the photos for this photo shoot were for like a magazine or Yeah, 100% Like a robot monthly or

Robot Digest Robots and food were big in 1989 And there's a beat at the end of the photo shoot where it's empty and just the robots are there And this goes, oh-mm, and the robot lights up And I thought for a second, dude, this is a beat. is going to be like a robot movie. They come alive and so.

I thought the same thing. Yeah, they shut down the whole thing and the robot is left. I do want to bring up one interesting point. The actual, I guess, movie of Cobra is based on a book and the book's author after Sylvester Stallone

wrote this film, which he did write, he asked the author to take his name off the book and re-release the book with his name as the author of the book. What? Yes. That's hubris.

But you didn't write the book? Yeah, but I wrote the movie, so now people are going to know the movie, so I should write the book too. By the transit property of mathematics, I've not written your book. He asked the author to take his name

off the book. Not even shared credit for the book. Off it. I'm also going to fuck your wife. I'm you. I'm you now. I live life as you. I got to live in your house. You never existed.

Is that okay? They were married at this point, I guess, Brigitte and Sylvester Sloan. They were together as a couple. I don't even want a picture. And she would carry him around in a backpack. He's like, she's enormous and he's miniature.

Yeah, she carried him around like Luke and Yoda and Dagaba. He's listed as 5'10, but then they say, oh, he can't be above 5'7. But I stood next to him once. I'm saying 5-2. Really? I'm going to say still on as 5-2.

He's also another guy who's probably always on Apple Boxes because he did not look like he was short next to her. He's always standing on a... It's like the Hobbit. It's a all-forced perspective. There's a great... One of my favorite bits in this movie is when he is doing good police work

and he has her describe, Gaunt Arnold Schwarzenegger, they do the world's worst composite sketch of him to be like, oh, that's the bad guy, right? And then he's like, I want to take this and I'm going to go to my apartment and look through my files. It goes to his apartment with the sketch, right?

And he has the most crude rudimentary computer and he's holding the sketch in one hand and what he's going through is fingerprints. Nope, not it, not it. He's comparing fingerprints to a face. The two things I want to point out here, too, is he goes to his apartment to look at fingerprint books. Like, that's what the police station is for.

Zombie Squad. Not if you're on the zombie squad, bro. I got my own shit. I got my own file back at the house. They all got the right scissors to cut my pizza at the police station. Now, if I can just intuit this dude's fingerprints, I'll know who he is. It's mental. By the way, the composite sketch, and this is a deep reference,

looks like the guy from Justice League of America cartoon, the big Native American guy who could grow really tall. It is not a good... Apache Chief? Yes. He looks like Apache Chief? It looks like Apache Chief. Also, you know, Stallone,

not only do you see Pepsi prominently in that scene at the supermarket, but you see it prominently because apparently his house shares a balcony where there is a giant neon Pepsi sign on his balcony. Like an enormous Pepsi. Pepsi billboard, basically. On his, not like off the front. It's like he has a patio, and one of the walls of the patio

is a giant Pepsi sign. Well, there's also outside of his apartment. There's always one car parked outside with a gang of Hispanic people who are packed in the car. I was about to say clown car. Uh-oh. Don't bring back memories for Jason, bad memories.

Uh-oh. They had candies, guys. Uh-oh. The clowns would pull up, and they would offer you candy in a van. All right? This shit is real.

There's always about seven people in broad daylight on, well, it looks like a nice day, packed into that car every time he pulls up. And they're parked in such a way that he can't get his car into his spot.

So they have a little, I'll show it to you here. Well, I don't have to beat around the bush. This is exactly what happens. Great news. This is not an offensive portrayal of Hispanics.

So that's good. J.K., it's a horrible portrayal of his panics. Here we go. By the way, this is like, his car looks like that Tucker. Oh, there, can't fit. He's pretty cavalier with his car here. It really isn't nice to him.

Yeah, he's being a... It's kind of an aggressive move. What's your problem, Sese? You touch my car, man. He's got to have for your health, you know? What is, Pinché? Yeah, it's all. Me.

Clean up your act. What? Clean up. He's wearing a wire, right? Is he wearing a wire? He's wearing a wire. I watched this ten times. No, that's his wife.

That's his love. Oh, wait, I got to see that. But it does look like he's going to. Wait, that's his mic for being an actor? Yeah, right there. You can see it. I was like, he just outed undercover Cote. No. No. That's a

necklace. Hold on. No. That is a wire. That looks like a wire. It looks like the tape over the front of it. It's absolutely his mic. And the sound guys went, hey, I think the mic and then they went, well, it's a good take. We're just going to we're just going to leave it. So this wasn't planned

at all. That's the only taked up. That's the only taked up we got, so that's what we're using. It's definitely not a necklace. What I love is their badass Vantos and they're listening to Gloria Astafon, which has never fucking happened ever. By the way, though, it doesn't, like, that makes you not want to like Cobra. These guys are just parked in a space. They're not even parked badly in a space. They're just parked. Who knows the situation that created it, that he can't get his car perfectly parallel parked? It's fine. But I guess what I come back to those, this isn't, this isn't a part of his police work.

He may be an asshole, but again, like, as a part of the zombie squad, which my tax dollars are paying for, I don't mind the work he's doing. And I don't have a problem with it. So you think he's an asshole in real life, but he's a great cop. Yeah. But again, his dialogue doesn't matter, because he says, that's not good for you. It's not good for your health.

That's not good for your health. And the guy goes, what? And he goes, me. Wait. That's not good for your health. Well, he ripped a joint out of his mouth. Yeah, no, I know that. Oh, does he mean the cigarette?

But then him connecting it. Yeah. To me. He said, that's not good for your health. And the guy goes, what's not good for my health? Me. Me. Maybe he was really looking at.

You know what I mean? Like, if you wrote that on the page, somebody would go, he didn't. That doesn't make any sense. Here's the thing. He wrote it on the page. But I believe, I firmly, firmly believe, because I saw Expendables, too, just a little while ago.

Oh, God, me too. Oh, it's, and don't you think that there are just jokes that they think are funny on set? Absolutely, use it. There's so much of that shit in that movie. The dialogue doesn't make any fucking sense at all. Well, like, Dolph Lungan's, like, writing down something a piece of paper. Like, hey, what's that?

It's, uh, quantum, or, like, he's like, it's like the, you know, the theory of relativity, but better. Then he blows his nose in it. And everyone's like, ah, ha, ha, ha. What's hilarious about that is the idea that Dolf Lungren can write. But I feel like, I feel like, Guys, he might have been looking at his own reflection and the other guy's eyeballs.

I do feel like it's all just Stallone just being like, that's funny, right? I'll do that. I'll do that. I'm going to tell him to clean up his act and I'll rip his shirt, but I'm not going to tell anyone so he can hide his mic. If at this point anybody's wondering if Stallone takes the sunglasses off, he really doesn't.

Because that's what you want when you're watching an actor in close-up is to be looking at mirrored lenses. Not their eyes. And he barely takes off the leather gloves either. I swear to God, was so modeled after the George Michael Faith video. And at one point

they're driving in the car and she goes, how do you know we're going to make you there? And he goes, you gotta have faith. Yeah, that happens. Oh my God, I didn't even catch that. That happens. Are you sure George Michael wasn't modeled after this? The one thing

that I think is so interesting this movie too is every chase sequence traverses so much space. It's like they started chasing downtown that ends in Venice. And it only happens in like five minutes. I mean, Oh, they go from like cityscape to the docks. Like it's like, and it's like as if they're like,

they turn a corner, they're in a very densely populated area and they're just in like empty desolate desert. They might as well go, it might as well be the cannonball run in sections where they go across state lines. It's so crazy. Hey, we're at Mount Rushmore.

Oh, hey. We're over here now, Space Needle. Bellamo. No one will notice. Just fucking nerds. The final fight scene also traverses a bunch of, like

it starts off in a small town, then it continues into an orange orchard and then goes into a steel factory. Which none of it is not like an orange pressing plant. It's like a steel factory. Everything in that factory is not making

orange juice. That's all I know. It's like smelting metal. I want lava. I want there to be lava around. It'd be cool if there was fire and lava. Oh, man. It's so... Oh, the other thing I loved is

the guy, the killer, Gons Schwarzenegger. She's in the hospital. Brigitte Nielsen's in the hospital. So he goes in to kill her. But instead of going and killing her, he just decides to kill like 10 people along the way. He delays... New World Order.

He delays himself for so long just to allow Sylvester Stallone to find out he's in the hospital drive across town to rescue her. It's so easy for him to kill her. Just go in, go to the room, be done with it. But he is so excited to kill because even when he steals the janitor's uniform,

he's in the elevator where the woman's like, you can't be in this elevator. Right on the service elevator. He's like, oh, got to get my knife out. I'm going to kill her. Like, no, man, keep it cool. Just do your job. Don't start laying the body count out.

But instead he has to kill the elderly woman and leave a bloody mop in bed with her. Yeah, he puts the mop in there. A bloody mop. He didn't want to carry that around in. Then the nurse comes in, he kills her. He's just like on a kill, he's like, ooh, he's like, hmm, there's just too much juicy killing to be done before I kill pretty hair. He is, but then the unattractive cop is really bad at killing because she has all these

opportunities to just kill everybody because they don't even know she's the killer. Oh, of course. So she could kill Stallone, like. It would be over halfway through. Sure. Instead of leaving the gang to arrive in broad daylight. The most inept axe gang ever, they are professional axe murderers. And every time they swing their axe, they hit a pipe or a wall or a car door.

It just shows you you should not be an axe murderer because you can never figure out where the height is going to be. If you're running around, unless you've really vetted the space before you get to the killing space. I do a dry run. This also has those kind of car chases that, you know, that I am like, I become obsessed with because I'm like, in the time it took to have this car chase and all of the action in it, at least 100 pedestrians were murdered.

Due to indiscriminate machine gun shooting and giant multi-car car wreck. Like, there's shit that's happening that is so, they are just spray, like oozy spraying bullets around cars and people constantly. Not, it's like Bad Boys style. death toll here. Also, there are accidents

I don't even know how they happen. In the end, when they're having their big chase scene, there's just three cars on the road on fire, but it didn't seem like that was set up before, like, was the Axe gang like, oh, let's set up these three cars here? Just in case our plan goes horribly bad and we have a big chase that leads us

far away from where we were supposed to do the killing, this will be our backup, these three cars on fire. Like, there's no reason for those cars. And after every time, the gang has come after him, like they've been in multiple cars with machine guns. After every time, his superiors are like, Cobra, what are you doing? Your tactics are out of control.

It's just one guy out there. And he's like, oh, I think it's a gang of people. And they're like, that's what you say, but there's no proof. There's a million people to prove it. I do want to talk about these police, the police station. Also, they go from a scene that starts in the morgue. they walk out into a police station and then he walks into a shooting range.

10 feet away from the chief of police's office. Yes, it's all within 15 feet away from each other. And they're all clear windows. You can see in like, oh, who's in the shooting range? That'll be the most annoying office. Like, poof, poof, poof, just hearing. And there was no paperwork. He didn't have to sign in.

He walks and picks up a gun and starts shooting. It's like an errandsorkin walk-and-talk is basically what it is. but it's the it's it's it's it's Cobra and his partner and the chief of police and his like lackey those two peel off into the chief's office and Cobra and the other guy go into the shooting range and in the background it's just the chief like

just watching him shoot but it's good that he took that practice because when the gang of 90 axe murderers come he doesn't miss a single one ever one shot free time's like bang bang bang never does he

miss, he's an amazing shot, Cobra. And they're horrible shots. Yeah, they're horrible shots and not even good bikers. They're just flying off their bikes. Well, they start, they leave Los Angeles. They're the ex-murring game. They leave Los Angeles on motorcycles. To take her upstate.

And that's his idea, right? Yeah, that's Cobra's idea. Yeah, so they're going to get to Cobra and the girl and everything upstate now. They ride all night wearing masks, wearing like crazy ski masks. And, like, that would be the most suspicious thing anybody would see on the road.

Oh, a gang of 60 bikers wearing ski masks? Yeah. Maybe. It seems like the New World Order gang is up there. I bet you, though, they probably attacked at night, right? No, no, no. I'm sorry, no. They drove during the night and then they attacked it daytime.

Interesting. Oh. They drive all night. Let's wait until they wake up instead of just murdering them in their sleep. It's the craziest sequence. Let's go on hit. Let's gober get some caffeine in it. before we go and get them.

Let's make sure they can see us very clearly in the broad daylight. I want them to have a nice breakfast before... I also want to give them a chance to bang first, which is what happens. By the way, no boobies. See where his sunglasses when he bangs that horrible monster? He definitely fingers her with leather gloves on.

That's for sure. That is for sure. Just to the knuckle. Just to the knuckle. Just to the knuckle? Yeah, yeah. Well, he's wearing those gloves. So she doesn't feel it. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah.

They're those knuckle-free gloves or whatever they call. In that scene, in that same scene, they're in like a cabin. Figurless gloves is what they call them, I think. Not knuckle-free. They're in a cabin, and he's like, you should get some sleep. And she's like trying to sleep. At which point he loudly assembles a gun. Yeah, that's my favorite.

He's like, yeah. Why aren't you sleeping? Yeah. And then he's like, building a rocket launcher. You're fucking making the most noise I've ever heard. Speaking of fingering, the model photographer also has a good line when he wants to sleep with her. He's like, come on, come on, don't do it for me. Do it for your career.

Like, that's how he's convincing her to sleep with him. He's like, come on. He has the worst lines to sleep with her. He's like, and he also, at one point he's like, I don't even want this for me. I want this for you. Because you should be doing bigger layouts or something, is what he says. You shouldn't be doing robots and wigs. He says, look, I'd want to be sick not to sleep with you.

Can we talk about how I own this? Oh, yes. Paul, we were trying to figure out what movie I was going to talk about with you guys. And you gave me a list. And what was the other two? The other two might have been, oh, I forget. Like, maybe like... But I go right away, I said, I went,

oh, Cobra, we have to do Cobra. And then you... Paul, very nicely sends me a link, hey, you could check out Cobra on Amazon.com. And I photographed myself holding up my copy of the movie and send it back to him minutes later. It was amazing.

And I was so... Like, now that I've seen it, I now own it as well, and I will revisit it a lot. It is great. We have been doing... You should all buy the shit out of this movie and then Stallone.

next week is going to be, we sold like a thousand copies of fucking cobra all in Seattle. At 3.m. That's, we're going to get a sequel greenlit based on your purchases of this movie. He's been

rebooting everything. We're like, Cobra Part 2. People are clamoring for this. It's going through the roof on Amazon. Just in Seattle we saw, so it must be happening in other plate, and it's not. Cobra goes to Seattle. This movie cost $25 million to make.

How much money do you think it made at the box office? I don't remember if it was a hit or not. 11 million. All right, $25 million to make. It got a 13% on Rotten Tomatoes. Is there another baby here? What is going on with these babies? Babies like podcasts.

Does that baby know I've been saying fuck a lot? That baby really got into the fingering discussion. The baby's going to be like, what? What's fingering? I'm going to guess 30. 30. Is it the same baby? What?

There was a baby at another show? There was a baby yesterday. After I talked about vaginal discharge. Well, that is what a baby is, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's true.

All right, so we heard 11 million, we heard 30 million. Any other guesses? No, any guess? Take a guess. I don't even know. 25 million is made in 1986. 1984. $160 million.

$160 million. So it was a big hit. It was a huge hit. Why was there not a cobra, too? He said that he was going to make one, but he never got around to it. Man, 160 million. We're going to open it up to you guys. If we haven't covered anything that you guys want to hear answered, any questions about

Cobra, things that you saw. Oh, good. We have a good hand right here. All right. What's your question? Is that a baby? What about where Bridget Nielsen is pouring ketchup on fries for like a minute and a half straight? And he's like, you're going to need a life preserver.

And she's like, for what? It's like your fries are drowning or something. Another. You know what? You know what? That's the only line that makes sense in the entire movie. Yeah. He actually has a payoff to his stupid point or something.

setup. But that's a weird part of his food arc because it seems like he should be just upset about the fact that she's eating fast food and french fries. But this is a strange detour. He's just upset about the ketchup. But I would argue, Brian, too, that that comment doesn't really work because he goes, you need a life preserver, but then he goes, the French fries are drowning. The French fries would need the life preserver.

There's a lot of confusion. I don't know. I meant for the fries is what I was saying. I don't think he understands... No, when I said you, I meant... Fuck it. I don't think he understands, like, nouns and pronouns. Yeah. And how they work in...

I don't think basic sentence structure is a problem for him. Yeah. It's a good one. All right, so what's your question? I haven't seen the movie, but it seems in the trailer like, there's a ton of focus on his car. Is there any explanation of why he's drawing a Matt Black

1940s phantom something? Well, yeah, that car looked like Tucker a man in his dream. Like, if you remember that car. Nope. What's the license place say, Awesome 54 or F-A-T? It's like an old part, like a retiree car.

And it's got a, in one chase, he's like, buckle up! And she puts on a racing harness. She puts on a like six-themed racing harness, and he has a nitrous booster in the car. Yeah.

That's from the others. Yep. That's from Tales from the Zombie Squad. You would all make sense. Yeah, what's your question? Now, has anybody read the novel? Is it possible that this makes all of this makes so much more sense?

I mean, this might have been this guy's like tale of two cities. I will argue the novel is called Fair Game. It was remade later, I think, with, like, Richard Geer and Cindy Crawford. Oh, yeah, holy shit. And there's no character named Cobra in it. So I think it's a very loose adaptation

of this book. I read a book. I don't make a movie of it. What's it about... I forget. Wouldn't be cool if I was called Coppa. I want a guy with a car and he hates Hispanics. And he's got a cobra on his gun.

We should call him Cobra because of the gun. Even though that's not in the book. When Gun Arnold Schwarzenegger kills the janitor and take his uniform, why does he also take the janitor's glasses? Yes. Yeah, he also... He kills someone and puts on the glasses because the uniform's not enough.

He needed to... Well, now I'm sort of understanding. Maybe he thought that old woman was Brigitte Nelson. Maybe he was just in prescriptions that. The prescription was too strong. She did have pretty hair. She did. That's the other thing is, in the final showdown

between that guy and Stallone, that guy's going, come on, pig. I want your eyes. Yeah. I want your eyes, pig. And I was like, what? Is this a thing? Is this guy like harvesting eyeballs?

Is this like a, is this a thing I missed? I want your eyes. Set up in the director's cut. There's a lot of other scenes. Oh, guys, I hope there's a director's cut. The movie, the movie is roughly like an hour and like 27 minutes. Roughly. Roughly.

It's pretty exact. How many people do you think were killed in this movie? Take a guess. A hundred. How many? 50. How many? 180.

Wow, 180. 52. 52. 52 people. That's a person killed every other minute. That doesn't include, though, pedestrians and pass the by. Well, yeah, those are people weren't counted. Collateral damage is enormous. So obviously, we had an opinion about this movie, but now it is time for a second opinion. These are reviews cold from Amazon.com, five-star reviews. Now, Rhett, I know that you

have a, so you found one that you wanted to talk about. Well, I really loved the music in this. I would love to meet the music supervisor that put all this stuff together. It was so bad. I think it was Stallone. I like these songs. You know the big,

the Cobra theme was by John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band, which is Eddie and the Cruisers. That's pretty... Oh, really? Yeah, it wasn't Frank, which everybody, I'm sure, thought. This one review on Amazon.com

of the soundtrack was called... The review is titled, in quotes, feel the heat. And that becomes a catchphrase in the review that he uses always in quotes. So he goes, if this is not the best movie that Stallone has made, then I don't know what is. Feel the heat. The soundtrack is, if not as good, better than the movie. Because unlike others, soundtracks, it features all the songs from the movie and basically doesn't waste your time, exclamation mark. Feel the heat. I won't waste anyone's time with listing what songs are on the soundtrack because it may be looked up by one's self. feel the heat.

In summary and in true 80s fashion, this soundtrack is sure to deliver maximum listening pleasure, feel the heat. What I love about, it's almost like a professional wrestler wrote that. Feel the heat. The ones that I pulled,

this was a good one. Aspiring filmmakers, take heed, commit Cobra to memory or take up bricklaying. This one, a lot more. disturbing by G.C. Garner. I gave it five stars because you actually feel like you're witnessing horrific acts being

perpetrated upon innocent people. All right, that's some people like that, I guess. And this is my favorite one. It's a little bit long, but it is worth it. It's no wonder people who care for rights of criminals more than the rights of victims hate this movie. Imagine that. Here's a cop who not only says. says openly what he thinks of criminals and civilized judges, but

puts his words into action. The human rights, criminal rights, that is. People call this movie fascist. It's their favorite epitaph for anything that's not compatible with their way of thinking. Don't listen to that babble. I'm not sure about the USA

these days. But boy, my country could sure use a few cobras. five stars there was a huge Reagan poster in Cobra's office too you see that

was there when Gonzalez was in there being way there really was a Reagan post huge Reagan post when he's talking to his partner on the phone and he's looking at fingerprints on his computer he's checking fingerprints with photos no Gonzalez goes back to the station

and Cobra calls him so how's it going to the hospital he's well I'm back at the station they send me back here he's next to this huge picture of Ronald Reagan's face I love that. I also love that, like, that says, like, they are guarding Brigitte Nilsson

who they think is going to be attacked, and then a simple phone call just gets that to go away. Hey, yeah, don't worry about guarding that girl. Just come back to the station. Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, see you. We'll just leave her later there.

We'll let her be? Okay, cool. If Cobra says it, I'm out. Is there anything that we have and not talking about? Anyone wants to, any final thoughts? I mean... There's a wonderful moment at...

I do. There's a gorgeous moment of levity when cobra's outside, they go to some rest-up on their way up state, and cobra's outside this stand full of weird little trinkets, and there's a bobblehead. You know what I'm talking about. There's a bobblehead of, who is it of?

I don't even remember. It's a Philadelphia, Philly's a baseball player. There's just an unbelievable shot of cobra playing with the bobblehead. It looks like he's trying to figure it out, and bobbling his own head. with it. Yeah, and then he ends it

by saying to the guy, no sale today, sorry. Yeah. And then, by the way, they linger. You don't have to explain to a clerk when you don't buy something. But I also thought he spent an obscene amount of time they're touching all that stuff

but not to buy anything. I think that's what he was saying. Sorry, I touched all your bibles, but I don't like them enough. At the end of the movie, Cobra kills everybody, and Brigitte Nielsen is saved. And then, of course, there is a time jump at all of the police are there now, including the chief, including the weasily chief's guy who hates Cobra's tactics.

And the chief says, well, Cobra, you did good today. If there's anything the department can do, it's yours. If there's anything we can do to make your work easier, we'll do it. And he gives him this whole speech about how they're going to be behind him, right? And Cobra goes, well, I would like it if you replaced my car, because he destroys it. his car in the movie, and they're like, we can't do that. Yeah. And then it didn't, and then that disclos over it.

Didn't have it in the budget. But you just said, you would. Do any, not in the budget. Sorry, Cobra. And that's the whole sequel. Him trying to figure out who can fix his car. I would highly recommend seeing this movie. You should seriously all buy it and do what I said.

You can, yeah. You can buy it on Amazon. It's like six bucks on Amazon. That's a worthy investment. Six dollars. Come on. Put it on your shelf. Enjoy it for the rest of your lives.

It's amazing. Thank you guys so much for coming out. Good night.