How Did This Get Made? - Double Dragon LIVE! (HDTGM Matinee)

Episode Date: February 17, 2026

Alyssa Milano's bizarre pants and a weather man Andy Dick are just a couple things Paul, June, and Jason discuss about the 1994 video game adaptation Double Dragon. LIVE from Philadelphia, they also cover how Robert Patrick's Koga Shuko is essentially a Charlie Sheen impression, the roided out monstrosity that is Bo Adobo, what the cat saw in the videogame, and a whole lot more. (Ep. #227 Originally Released 11/21/2019) • Get up to 20% off tix to see Jason in ALL OUT on Broadway with code ALLOUTPOD at AllOutBroadway.com• Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, FAQs, and more• Have a Last Looks correction or omission? Call 619-PAULASK to leave us a voicemail!• Submit your Last Looks theme song to us here• Join the HDTGM conversation on Discord: discord.gg/hdtgm• Buy merch at howdidthisgetmade.dashery.com/• Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of Trauma• Shop our new hat collection at podswag.com• Paul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheer• Paul’s YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheer• Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer• Subscribe to Enter The Dark Web w/ Paul & Rob Huebel: youtube.com/@enterthedarkweb• Listen to Unspooled with Paul & Amy Nicholson: unspooledpodcast.com• Listen to The Deep Dive with June & Jessica St. Clair: thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcast• Instagram: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & @junediane• Twitter: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & msjunediane  • Jason is not on social media• Episode transcripts available at how-did-this-get-made.simplecast.com/episodesGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Steroid therapy, gangland warfare, in a post-apocalyptic society where spinach torture happens, and Andy Dick is a weatherman. Plus, it's a fucking kids movie. We saw Double Dragon, so you know what that means. Oh, my goodness. Double Dragon.

Double Dragon. This movie, wow, might be one of the most insane films that we have ever done. It's a little bit of demolition man, a little bit of escape from L.A. It's a lot of street fighter in the sense it makes no fucking sense. And it also feels like it could be a spiritual sequel to Super Mario Brothers. What do you need to know? You need to know this. There's a pendant. There's two halves. A bad guy has one half. The good guys have the other.

Well, one of the sides get both. You'll see. That's all you really need to know. And maybe that Robert Patrick invents vaping. I don't know. But I think those are really the things that you need to know before listening to this episode. Although, if you've not seen the movie,

fucking watch this movie. Philadelphia agrees, right? Of course they do. All right, ladies and gentlemen, and I cannot discuss this movie by myself. I have two amazing co-host. Please welcome Mr. Jason Manzoukis. Double D.

As Paul said, got those huge tinnies on the screen. Jason, Paul. Are you a fan of the video game Double Dragon? No, never played it. We never played it. Okay. I have a huge reveal.

Oh my God. June just told me right there, she didn't know this was a video game. Wow. The video game, the arcade game that is featured itself in the movie. I'm certain, that's not true. I'm certain I must have played the arcade version of the game.

Yeah. I mean, I had it for Nintendo. See, I never had a Nintendo. What? Yeah, no, I never had any of that stuff. I didn't have a fun childhood. You didn't have a calico? I didn't have a Kaliko.

I didn't have it. Atari, 2,600, never had it. No, so I didn't know this, and I'd never seen this movie, and I watched it, and I was like, it is so close to a breakdancing movie. Oh, yeah. It's so close to being Breaking Three. It really scratches the itch of pretty much every bad movie

we've ever done on the show. I mean, it hits all the true. tropes kind of perfectly. Oh, yes. You know, there's skateboarding, of course. There's future cars. For Jessica St. Clair, there's trash cans on fire.

And by the way, we are in Philadelphia. Bring us your Fabergerge eggs, really. If you have Fabergerge eggs, please let me see them when we come out to talk to you in just a little bit. Yeah, we would love

to sign your Fabergey eggs. filling. I don't want to wait any longer to bring out our resident video game expert. My other co-os, June Day and Rayfield. Welcome, June. Hi, Paul. How are you? I'm good. Thank you very much.

June did not know this is a video game film. Nope. It stands on its own two feet then. You found that, yeah, that it's merits, you know, were valid just as a piece of art. Listen, I didn't know there was source material. I just thought this was,

uh, this was a story about double dragons. I mean, you have to understand. I also don't know, I know some games on Atari. I know Oregon Trail. And that's, like, I know of Mortal Kombat.

Leisure suit, Larry. So I don't know about video games, but no, I've never heard. of this. Well, maybe this will help you. That this movie, while based on the game, Double Dragon, has literally no similarities to the game. Well, that's what I was going to ask, because I was like, obviously, um, the two leads are the two guys from the game. But is like, is, is Alyssa Milano's character

based on a character in the game? She is, but it's a little suspect. I'll read you the description of the game. Um, the plot of the game is about two martial artists. One is a blue-suited young man named Billy Hammer Lee, and the other is a red-suited twin brother named Jimmy Spike Lee. And they fight their way. Wait, Jimmy Spike Lee? Yep. I don't think it was, I oddly don't think it was like an homage to Spike Lee. Oh, you don't? I think that they really were going after the Hammer and Spike, two of the scariest things. But they, fight their way into the churf of the black

warriors gang with Linda and Adobo as members. But why they are going into that territory is because they have kidnapped their love interest. So... Wait, their collective love interest?

Ew. So wait, this is, this movie, or the game, this is the game? This is the game. I don't know. I don't know what I watched. This is the game. I watched this on Amtrak. And I was like, what's happening? I was confused.

I was so pleasantly surprised. Immediately as soon as I saw Robert Patrick. Yes. So the game is about them going deeper and deeper into gangland to rescue their love interest, who I guess would be the Alyssa Milano character. That's disgusting. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. And then the final level of the game, you want to guess the final level of the game is? They fuck her together? I mean, that's what you just set up. They must rescue her and fuck her together as brothers and then kill themselves? I don't know. That's where we're going.

Jason, it's much more honorable. They rescue her and then Billy and Jimmy fight to the death over the determination of who will win the affections of her. They fight each other to the death? The final level of double dragon. Double dragon becomes solo dragon at the end.

And in the video game, do they have these powers? Well, in the video game, they have suits. We can watch a playroom. She asked if they had powers. You just said they have suits. No, they are just, I'm saying that that's the only similarity.

Like, I, and there may be a video game person out there, you can save it for how did this get played, but, uh, but, um, I, they don't seem to have any, like, it's not like part of their mythology. It's more like they're going in and fighting a bunch of street tuffs and they're also street tuffs and that's at least my memory of the game. Your memory is mostly street tough related. And that's TUFF, am I right? Tough. Street tuffs. I don't want to go down there There's street tuffs and teenagers I mean because even in the video game The end boss He doesn't have any powers

He just has a machine gun In the video game In the video game Well that's not the end boss though The end boss is your own brother At the end of the game is fratricide Like which is a crazy world to live in What a moral choice

So I just want to say, I want it. But is Alyssa Milano worth it? I guess maybe. I'm ready to talk about Alyssa Milano's hair and jeans. Please tell me the pants. Of course. Please. I'm ready to talk about that.

I will talk for one hour. One hour, at least. I promise you, Philly. At least. One hour below the waist only. Holy cow. I mean, look at even the glove she's wearing in this one. It's pretty wild.

Well, let's get into the idea of the glove. We are meeting a lot of different gang members and some of them are just wearing Mickey Mouse hands. That seems to be like at one point they go look at these clowns and I was like do they mean like this is a gang of clowns? Some people seem to be, some people seem to have white face paint though almost as if they were clowns.

Well this is the weird thing. I couldn't tell if this earthquake had, if these people weren't insane and then the quake happened and they were just sort of let loose, or if the quake shook the sense out of them? So you think, by the way, June... Wait, how do you think that might have it? Let's keep on going with this idea.

Because it is seven years later, this movie takes place in the future, but in our past, 2007, in New Angeles, and we are met to a world that is still experiencing Aftershocks seven years after the quake. That was a big quake. That's what I'm saying, Jason. It was a big quake. Sure. Right. But you're saying, did it shake people into insanity? Like, did the earth rock so hard? Jason, we've never experienced the big one. We will.

It's not a matter of if. It's a matter of when. I'm just saying there is a podcast called the Big One that KPCC put out recently. Six episodes of absolutely terrifying reality. how Los Angeles is in for the big one. Just a subtle plug there for that podcast. Great. So we are... The hearing of that podcast existing

just gave me the chills. You in Philadelphia don't know what we're talking about, okay? But we live in a world that could literally create what you saw in this movie. Here's the thing. That's our future. They ride a jet ski right over my house. And again, it's not...

That was unsettling. It is not if, it is when. Yes. It is when we live in this reality. But you're saying that the reason the gangs are so prevalent is because the big one just rattled everyone's brains into being, no, I think this is some sort of like Mad Max's like dystopian nightmare. But let's talk about it from a different perspective, which is something I couldn't get out of my mind. The big quake happens.

But it's not a post-apocalypse in the world. it's a post-apocalyptic in L.A. Just move. Go. Move to Arizona. It seems like... It does. Like, there's plenty left.

The world is not over. These idiots stay here. For karate tournaments that are like normal karate tournaments but just with bad lighting. Well, that's what I couldn't figure out. In the movie, why are they still having competitions?

They weren't in school. They weren't like part of an individual. Like I couldn't figure out. Why are they having karate? Like, I understand. They want to establish that these guys are badass. So when they go out into the world and they get into fights, we see that they are learned in whatever martial art they are.

But can I stop you here? You say badasses. They're fighting like Karate Kid won like Ralph Machio karate. Like they are not doing anything. So like the best? I just want to make sure that people are on the same page. because I was getting a print framed, and it was of Daniel Laruso doing the crane.

Cool brag. It's a pretty cool print. And the guy behind the counter was like, oh, man, this is awesome. What's it from? And I go, karate kid. He's like, I love Jaden Smith. And I was like,

so I need to always make sure people know there are two karate kids and three, if you count Hillary Swank. I mean, we were getting on a train while watching the beginning of this movie, So I'm not sure. Is there, do they work together in their fight moves? Is that the thing about being a double dragon brother?

No, they don't do anything together. Because some of the moves that they did at the end were incredible and looked really fun, and I'd like to try them? It was almost as if kid in play started doing karate. Like that was the level of fight moves. How did June break both of her legs? Oh, they were doing the way. that spin thing from the end of Double Dragon

as the photo pose at the end of an episode and she went flying into the audience. But I was concerned or at least curious that we're in this post-apocalyptic world where there's still karate tournaments that are very polite. They're not like, they don't seem like aggressive. They seem like gym karate tournaments.

But then there's like huge sponsors, like 3M, the people who make like tape. They literally have like a sign up, like, 3M on the wall. Like, they're like, hey, we're getting in on this. I mean, I know L.A. fell off into the water, but we're still going to sell our fucking Scotch tape. We got to sponsor something. Yeah. We got to sponsor something.

I guess it's underground, very organized martial arts competitions. But also, there's a curfew because there are so many different types of threatening gangs. Like, again, to your point, like, imagine what the rest of, you know, the civilized world thinks of Los Angeles in this moment. I mean, listen, I would love to know how much federal money has been devoted to the natural disaster that's happened here. We don't see FEMA represented at all. Interesting.

Jason has just been assassinated. June has just gone down. It's just me. I knew it would be Philly. I knew it. I knew it, Philly. City's dangerous. Well, to your point, June, the police are underfunded.

So much so that at the big end scene when the police decide to actually be police officers, they really are only in a closet. Like, they don't even have, like, a full conference room to gather in. I mean, I could understand that, though, because no one's paying taxes in New Angeles. Oh, okay. because nobody has a job and there doesn't seem to be any infrastructure in place. But where is the rest of America? Yes.

Yeah, and has the rest of America just been like, you know what? Fuck it. Yeah, are they quarantined? Yeah. Like, that's the thing is, like, it doesn't, the way that other post-apocalyptic movies do, they don't give us a sense of the world. They're just like, nope, this is what happened here, and this is what we're doing.

after the quake, 2007, you know, there's like, you know, by the way, this movie starts somewhere in China. Everything seems pretty cool. Everything seems pretty cool. Although it does seem to me, okay, when the movie started somewhere in China, right? Somewhere we couldn't be bothered to figure out exactly where. I thought for sure this scene was in the past. Oh, absolutely. Everybody, it is, in fact, contemporary to the rest of the movie.

Because people are wearing, like, what to me is traditional outfits with, like, stuff on them, and blah, blah, blah, and there's a temple, and the lady Lash goes in and gets the medallion. And then she opens up a briefcase, and it's a satellite communication system, and she's like, it's me, I got it. And I was like, this is now? But by the way, I mean, Robert Patrick, who's introduced next, we don't even meet the Double Dragon Brothers for quite a bit. He is like, ah, finally, I can't wait to see the Double Dragon medallion,

and then opens it, and there's only one part of the medallion. It's called Double Dragon. Like, someone would have been like, hey, you know what, I know it. It's weird, that's only one dragon, right? And here's the thing, and it's not like you would confuse it. It looks like a best friend's necklace. It looks like one of them's got bee fry, and the other one's got Stuh ends.

And it's like Lash goes somewhere in China, finds Stah ends, and is like, I got it. And he's like, where's beef fry? And she's like, there's a bee fry? I thought this was the St. End's medallion. No. Just because it got quiet, you don't have to applaud. But we do know that people are not of their right mind.

Was it because of the quake? We don't know. Was it because, you know, Andy Dick gave up on acting and decided to become a weatherman? Like, there are weird choices made in this movie. Like, Andy Dick's like, I survived. I don't want to leave L.A. from my burgeoning movie in a TV career. I'm going to stay here and just transition to being a weatherman.

Vanna White, I think it's an upgrade. George Hamilton, I think it's like it stays. It's like lateral move. From the Hollywood Harbor to the Tijuana border. This is New Angeles's number one nightly news with George Hamilton and Vana White. In our top story tonight, it's daylight savings time again. Now make sure you set your clocks one hour ahead tonight or tomorrow evening you may accidentally find yourself out after curfew.

I always get them mixed up, whether to go forward or backward. That's great, Banner. Andy, how's the look out there? Oh, boy, you two are crazy. June, what do you think is going on in New Tokyo? I just saw that right now. Andy Dick is in front. New Tokyo, that seems as if there was an earthquake in Japan, and Tokyo sailed over...

I think that's what's happened. No, I think what happened, is that possible? Or Japan is gone. Japan is gone. Some piece of landmass is there, and they're like, well, it's new Tokyo now. I thought it was little Tokyo downtown that somehow split off and floated into the ocean. Well, what's interesting is this map appears to have the Capitol Records building, like right there. In Lake Pasadena.

If you know anything about Hollywood and you're sure. shouldn't. This map is aggressively wrong. But who knows, Paul, after the shake, after that big shake. But that would mean the way this map is structured that a lot of the West Coast would come off and then Pasadena would come running up to the West Coast,

but then other parts of the West, like the West side would stay totally intact. So the Pacific Ocean basically comes up to Vine is what this is saying. It seems that neighborhoods have jumped over each other. Yes. Yes. Anyway, these people decide to stay. They're heroes.

You know, a lot of people say a lot of things about Andy Dick, but, you know, he stayed. When the quake happened, he stayed. So one of the things that you see in the karate tournament is like a little guy just going like, every time there's an earthquake rumble, he's like jacking it up. Like jacking up a car. Jacking it up. What? Jacking it up.

Oh. No. But they're like, this movie is based on the premise that, like, if you put, like, a car jack in a building, you can restrain your... It's stupid. But here's, I mean, there's an active commercial for Jackson in the movie. Like, the focus is on just the commercial.

This is why I love this movie, because this movie starts off. We're in China. We're in a big bad guy's lair. We're at a karate tournament. And then we go into Weird Al Yankovics. it's the UHF, where we just have, like, a bunch of fucking sketches. I was like, here's a commercial.

Here's a funny newscast. Here's an exceptionally long weather report. Yeah. And it keeps on going. At one point, I was more interested in who was in the NBA finals because George Hamilton is like, and the NBA finals is here again. I'm like, oh, who? Who is it going to be?

You know, and we never got to it. So here's Jack City. It's Sunday. You're watching the Raiders' gladiators game on TV? and suddenly the house collapses. How embarrassing, but it's not your... Can you push pause for one second? These are those classic L.A. accents.

Those classic Southern California quintessential accents that are synonymous with the city itself. I also feel like they were trying to take a subtle dick at Super Mario Brothers a little bit. But maybe I'm wrong. You think these guys are Mario and Luigi? Yeah. Oh, interesting.

Because they're like not plumbers, but they're jackers. See, I thought they were, they're jackers? I don't like that. Jack City. I don't like that, and I don't like how quickly it came to your mouth. By the way, there's the T-shirt, Jack City. Get these guys out of you. It's not bad.

I like a Jack City. I will say I liked the sequel, the new one. New Jack City. All right, here we go. It's all about wordplay, Philly. It's everybody's fault That's why you gotta go to Jack City Well you could choose from hundreds of decorated colors

So remember if you didn't buy from us You don't know Jack City Also just to pause Never comes back in the movie These jacks are not a part An important part I thought for sure they were gonna be

Like some reason for because they're set up Like three different times in the first act You see people during the fight sequence jacking up posts. You see them later jacking something up there and you see the commercial and I was like, okay, and that's going to be part of it. Nope, not at all.

So a couple questions about Shuko and Shuko's motivations. And do you want to refer to him as Shuko or Victor Geisman? I mean, I love his Christian name, but I prefer to call him Shuko. So Shuko, I guess, owns most of Los Angeles. Seems like he is some sort of oligarch. Yeah, so I'm confused about what he actually needs from these powers, given what he's been able to accomplish without them.

Also, also, why is he also the person who killed their father? Like, what is his, what's, like, why are all of these people connected to each other? He also doesn't seem to have any martial arts background at all. any, like, and look, we get the biggest insight into his motivation in this scene where he reveals what he really wants. I mean, this is basically it. Like, if you go, what's this movie about? It's about this character saying this. How hard can it be to pull my beloved dragon out of the river?

Huh? I mean, it's down there. The river's really deep. The empty. Lewis. Any news? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

domination of one major American city. Is that too much as to ask for? Is it? Is it? That's what he wants. Total domination. He has it. He's succeeded.

He got it. Yeah. Like hang a mission accomplished sign over the aircraft carrier, baby. We did it. He is working out of a mall. Anything is bought for a price. It also seems, though, that a lot of, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, I don't know the source material. But it seems.

that a lot of the medical experiments he's been able to do have happened without these medallions. Yes. Those are just yeah, that's like he's some sort of like

he's giving these guys steroids or, yeah, I know he seems to be trying to create like monsters. I wrote down he is creating a bunch of extras for nothing but trouble. A movie that we did on this podcast. This movie has It's a lot of, yeah, it's very nothing but troubly at points.

It does feel, and that monster that's created. A rejected clumps character. And that monster's created to be the most powerful man in the world? By the way, his name, Bo Adobo. Boa. Okay, so Bo Doebo. He's part of the Mohawk gang. The problem with him is he was much.

more flexible. He was much more malleable and quick and I think stronger before he became that monster. Of course. Of course. No, once he becomes

this roided out kind of monstrosity, he has to be put inside of a plastic suit that becomes like that can't move or can't do anything. So he just kind of wanders around like,

oh, I know there... He's much scarier in the beginning. I know that there is like a theory about if you use steroids, your penis gets smaller, right? I imagine that how big he is is his penis

so, so tiny? Is this what you were thinking about during the movie? Is that why you have all those pictures in there drawn? I was like, now again, picture of the body. Tudor, tiny tiny, tiny, peepie. And that's why he's so mad?

You think that? Okay, okay. You think Bo Adobo is so mad because he's been made to ingest so much steroids that it has made his penis so, so small that he's full of rage. But arguably what happens upon his being full of these steroids is he becomes quite emotional

and starts rooting for the good guys, right? Well, I think that's, after he loses the battle, right? And he's left for dead. Yeah, I guess that's... Right, they do leave him for dead in a burning building. So I think that would make you switch sides. But even at that point, he is kidnapped

and then his force-fed spinach, which I thought was like kind of a play on Popeye. This movie is fucking wild. It's crazy. I'm realizing now, genuinely, I didn't pick up on a lot of stuff. But... I just...

watched it like colors and shapes going by. Usually I'm able to intuit more of what's happening. And in this one I was like, okay. Red and blue were still in it, but I don't know what's up with this guy. This guy looks like Bain now. Yeah, I couldn't quite figure it out. Robert Patrick was doing, as far as I'm concerned,

the best Charlie Sheen impression I've ever seen. I love Robert Patrick in this movie, and I googled, I said, when did Terminator 2 come out? Are we like, is this like the next movie he made or is this a little while later? Terminator 2 came out in 1991. This movie came out in 1994.

So pretty close. This is like, you're hot. What's your next move? Double Dragon. I got the call. Bobby Pete. I got you that job, and it's called Double Dragon. Do you know any martial arts?

No. No worries, when it comes to martial arts, will turn you into two guys with swords. You just think real hard, wish on a medallion, and you will turn into two guys with swords. The crazy thing about him is that medallion that's hanging on Scott Wolf's neck

is he goes through all of this, all of these different, I guess, body shifting moments to jump into people's body, to use the power of the soul to get in there, to get that other medallion. There are so many points in this movie

that that medallion is this close. Oh, yeah. And he could have just grabbed it. Just get it. It's outside of his shirt. Just go right there and just grab it like that. I mean, I don't feel safe.

I don't like it. I don't feel safe. Get it right there. June, you know, no touching. I mean, this movie also posits that everyone fights terribly because at one point, the Double Dragon Kids are attacked by like, conservatively, like 45 people.

At least. They are surrounded by a battalion of people. And don't, no one surrounds them. They're not particularly good fighters. I mean, they're not like, you don't watch these moves and go like, whoa. You kind of watch these moves and go like, if I'm like to karate for six months, I could do this. Mark DeCos is a legit, like for me also, one of my very dear co-stars in John Wick, Chapter 3, Peribellum.

He is legit, like, one of the best. I fucking love him. He's doing such amazing work in this, but you're right, everybody else, if you told me they didn't block or plan any of that fight. And they were just like, we have 400 extras. You and Scott are just going to jump up and down and they're going to fall down randomly. By the way, it's during this fight, that big fight scene where I thought

maybe everybody got just their sense shaken out of them because there's a male man in there. There's a male person. Air mail. I'm like all of a sudden, we're in like the tryouts for WWF, like 80s WWF.

But that gentleman, that gentleman is in his uniform, his postal uniform, and it really looked like he was just delivering the mail one day. The big one hits. Should we understand

that the mailmen are part of one of the gangs? Yes. Right? Like that's what's happened. Like all groups are now, or jobs are unto themselves

gangs? But what move is that to try to land on someone but announce your jump because you are letting them know it's like saying look out below but you're trying to kill them. So you should be like,

shh, jump. You shouldn't be like... So wait, you think you should say and then jump? I was trying to make it for the podcast audience that they would. Be very quiet. I'm hunting doubled wagons.

I didn't catch a lot. I couldn't, if you told me, I couldn't tell you anything about Alyssa Milano's character. Like zero. Well, she's very well defined. I know she's leading some sort of... Power Corps. Kid rebellion? The kids are just a new faction of the power core.

So she's got kids working for her. No, those kids don't have homes. They're homeless? I believe they are homeless. Oh. She says this is a... safe space for them. Okay, so they don't get pulled into gang violence.

So they don't get those Mickey Mouse hands. They're like an after-school program. How out of touch is her father that he doesn't know she's wearing a wig? Can you imagine your daughter

is wearing a wig every day? And you're like, you look great, sweetie. But by the way, your daddy's little girl, kisses the top of her head. It's a wig. But by the way, I do need to point out that when we meet Alyssa Milano at home and she's combing out that wig,

she puts on like a house coat and is dressed the way my grandmother dressed around the house as a woman in her 50s that didn't really have a job. I was like, this is an odd choice for a youthful young woman to be wearing a house coat. Like a scathing indictment of your grandmother. A jobless woman in her 50s wandering about in a housecoat.

What shame. What shame, Nana. Get a job, Nana. She didn't need a job because she had all them Faberge eggs. Got those eggs, Philly? Give us those eggs. I mean, I know Paul used to nurse a really serious crush for Alyssa Milano.

I did have been... I had an Alyssa Milano poster over my bed. What? She was in a hockey jersey and, like, looking cool. Who's the boss style? Is that when she played for the Flyers? I don't remember. I wonder if that poster...

Huge pull, by the way. I was, like, 50, 50 on whether that's right. Like, genuinely, I was like, I'm just going to go for it. No, I had a huge crush on her, and then I... This is the poster. I just pulling it up right now. Paul, be careful. Paul, be careful.

You might spontaneously ejaculate. This might be like sense memory. This could be Pavlovian. So she's in a New Jersey's devil. Okay, Philly. So there it is. I mean, you could see it a little bit. And that's what I had over my bed.

She's in ripped jeans, New Jersey's devil. And of course we know. And I traded it. Wait, I think it's New Jersey devils. I don't think it's New Jersey. devil. I don't think it's possessive of the devil. I don't respect it enough. Rangers forever. And Islanders.

Oh, this is Philly. Remember? I know. These people eat horseshit off the street. Look under your seats. There's a fresh apple under every seat. Munch, munch, you weirdos. Yeah, I think I traded that. poster for...

You traded it? Yeah, my friend was like, I want that poster and I was like, what will you trade me for? And I think I got a Ghostbusters mirror. What? Like, a mirror that had the Ghostbusters logo on it. So what? So you could jerk off to your own image?

No, to the ghost. So you replaced the thing you jerked off to with a mirror? That's very sad. Oh, God. Paul, you lost that trade. I don't mind telling you, you lost that trade.

Alyssa Milano, I remember, it was like a real, like, I feel like sex symbol. You're the boss. Yes, exactly, from Who's the Boss in that way, that, like, I get why she's in this movie as this character. I just couldn't figure out what she was doing. Oh, and by the way, they have a great Who's the Boss reference in it. Oh, I don't know.

Oh, it's great. I'm just older than you guys enough that who's the boss and Alyssa Milano kind of I miss. Oh, it's so good. I was all about double trouble twins. Oh, that's good too. But basically there's a, the line was this. In the final battle, Linda, that's Linda Lash, says to Marion, now who's the boss? And then later Marion tells Lash, you're lucky.

Generally, I put people in the hospital because Lash was on general hospital. And then when they went to the restaurant, the hostess was like, I've got a party of five for ugly party of five? I was very excited to see Scott Wolfe. I feel like we didn't get enough of his dimples in this movie. Got to get those dimps. Where were they? And where was his bare butt?

By the way, I have to say this is a movie where a lot happens, but I can't tell you anything about any of these characters. and I think Scott Wolf is a dick. Like in this character, like in this movie. Like, he's not likable. Like, he does, like, dirty punches in the beginning. Like, he's an asshole. He cheats.

It's like, there's nothing sympathetic. I want to root for him. I'm like, you're a dick. Like, one of his main complaints is like, you're always planning. Okay, if that's the biggest dig. Like, in this post-apocalyptic world, you always make plans.

Like, we have to have enough food. We don't have money. We shouldn't wreck the car. I think I don't have a, I can't like make a good reading about Scott Wolf. I loved him so much. In Party of Five? Yes, that I just, yeah, that I just was very happy to see him. Come on, you never saw Party of Five?

Never saw it. Oh my God, so good. I don't go in for that. Here we go. Pilot episode of Party of Five, let's do it. Turn the lights down, we're all just going to watch it. So I want to say something about Alyssa Milana's hair. The daughter hair or the blonde highlighted hair?

This blonde hair. So it's so tough because she's such a beautiful woman. This hairdo will not look good on anyone, not a single person. There's no way for it to. I could pull it off. Jason? That is like a Swedish pop star's hair. Robin can do this.

Right. Yes, okay. Robin can do this, or I believe this might be the haircut that the woman from Di Antwerd still has. It's just so confusing because there's no shape to those bangs. Some are very long, some are very short. It really upset me. Well, it's interesting because what I couldn't figure out in the movie is, I understand her bleached out short kind of punk rock haircut is essentially,

does in a way make sense to me in a, if the movie is a post-apocalyptic, true wasteland, Escape from L.A., Johnny Neumonic style, but it's not. She is also meant to be a normal suburban daughter who's got a cop as a dad and has to go to school or do whatever. Her brother's on VR roller coasters. The only thing that really saw the future in this film. Like that juxtaposition then doesn't really make sense to me.

Then I don't understand. Well, this movie... Well, I still can't get a handle on what the power cord does. Like, just on a day-to-day. Do they restore bait? I think it's break dancing. No. They restore power to the city.

To the core? Maybe. Well, they do seem to have generators. Yes, there's a lot of blackouts. Okay, we're getting somewhere. I think that they make those kids pedal bicycles. There are a lot of blackouts. And the dad says at one point, oh, that power core, they're responsible for the blackouts.

And she goes, no, dad, the power core makes the power. Or some rough version of that language is said. Okay, let me understand this. This is what I'm going to conjecture. Alyssa Milano has all of New Angeles' orphaned children or lost children who she is using as slave labor in order to power the city electrically?

I wouldn't dispute that and we'll get out to the audience. If that's the case, she's the villain of the movie. If that's the case, we've got to free these kids from the power corps. These are children. Can anyone speak to that? Can anyone tell us if we're right or wrong? Wrong. Hold on.

I'll go over and find out. Man, you better have a concise answer. I'm coming to you right now. Just quickly, Paul, before you go to her, she is the one who saves the day at the end of the movie. Powercorn? Yeah. Because what's his face?

Because Robert Patrick doesn't like the lights? Is what, and I had, that's one of the things that I had missed. I really missed that. I miss that that if he is, that if he's exposed to too much light, his magic doesn't work? Like, here's the thing. He's got the two medallions.

Doesn't that, isn't that in this movie the equivalent of the infinity stones? Hasn't he now assembled, like, all of the hallows? Can't he conquer death now? Like, he's put the two together. That's like having the resurrection stone, the elder wand, and the cave. And I think that's one of the problems with the movie.

But I would argue that light just made him drop it, right? Light made him drop the thing, and then they were on the ground, and then that was it. It was over. It wasn't bonded. I didn't understand what just shining bright light on him made the medallion fall off of his body. Well, I think what you're also right about is when the medallions came together for that double dragon moment, the only thing that really happened was they got suits. Yes.

when Robert Patrick has but one half of the medallion, he can turn into the smoke monster from lost. He can, he can, he can possess other people. Right? With the exception of Scott Foley, who he can't possess because he's got the other half of the... Scott Wolf. Scott Wolf, sorry, sorry.

Woo! He also can't, to be fair, he also can't possess Scott Foley either. Okay. Because he just is such a big fan of Felicity. to me are... Of the same. They are in the same.

Okay, got it. Anyway, so he can't... Anyway, so he can do all of this crazy shit with one half, right? When he is, when he combines both, when Robert Patrick combines both, not Robert Patrick, yes, combines both halves of the medallions, all that happens is he turns into two guys with swords. That's it. They don't have magic powers. They're just two guys with swords.

But how cool would it have been if they had enough money? to make two Robert Patrick's of swords. Was that an option? I feel like that's what we should have done. But let me see what the Power Corps does. What do you think the Power Corps does? So the Power Corps are like the vigilante anti-gangs. They basically fight the gangs and try to restore safety to the city,

which is why the gangs all looked scared when they showed up. Also, the police seem to think kind of a la-batman, that the Power Corps are terrorists shooting down planes, but really they're only shooting down planes full of drugs. At least that's what Alyssa Milano says. Wow, they're shooting down planes. Thank you, ma'am. But here's the weird thing about it.

Here's the very strange thing about the Power Corps. They seem, when you go into their layer, it seems very bright and colorful. Like, it seems like a camp. Isn't it full of arcade games? Yeah. But that's what this movie. Why would the police ever have the idea that they're terrorists?

Yeah, but Power Corps' HQ seemed like a rec center. Not a... From breaking. From Electric Bugaloo, the one where they're trying to save the rec center. And what I couldn't figure out is why are they a threat at all? This seems to be kids at play. This is daycare.

This is jimberie. Yes. Boy, would it have been great if it was like that jimberie? And it was just a bunch of little kids? This is the problem of making a post-apocalyptic film for kids because they keep on mixing and matching things. Like, yes, it's so brightly colored. And there's video games, and people are eating pancakes for dinner and popcorn for dinner.

And it's gross to feed someone spinach because spinach is gross. You know, but then, like, you have a guy smoking, like, the bad guy. You have, like, some adult-themed shit going on with some really pee-wee playhouse kind of shit going on there, too. It's a bizarre, bizarre film. I know that a lot of the kids did. like the Huey Lewis and the news reference. The henchman, Huey and Lewis, and what's the news?

Not for nothing, if this is aimed at kids. Like, they kill... If it's aimed at kids? They kill Satory, like, boom, she's done so. I thought for sure she was going to come back. Of course. I thought she was going to come back because it seemed like she was the true keeper of the double dragon legacy or history or whatever.

The fact that she's just, like, wiped out so these two dildos can run around. And Satori... What is going on? And Satori looked to be their same age, yet she was their guardian. Yes. Yes. Why don't make Satori an older woman, like, who brought them in?

No, she's like, you're 18, I'm 19. I adopted you. I guess the rules work differently. There was a moment that I loved, I pointed it out to June we were watching because we were sharing AirPods. Aww. We both had... one air pod watching this movie.

Or as June calls them air buds. June called them air buds the other night and I've thought about it a lot. Just the idea of putting two golden retrievers in your ears that are like chasing tiny basketballs? If the air, if the thing, I will design these. It is, the basketball is the thing you put into your ear. What hangs outside of your ear is the golden retriever. So it's a perfect design.

It's a perfect product. Philly, please help me get this to market. Sharks, I need your help. Can we pull up a picture of her pants? We gotta talk about, guys, we got to talk about these pants. Okay, I'm gonna say one thing right now about them. Before you even pull up this photo, I thought they were jeans at the beginning of the movie. Okay, I thought they were shorts.

Okay. Oh, I thought they were shorts. By the end, I thought that they were... Chaps? Yeah, like spandex on top and then jeans on bottom. Just pull up a phone. All right, I'm going to try. I'm curious.

Is there anybody in the audience who did not notice Alyssa Milano's pants? Well, by the way... All right, everybody did. Good. There is a moment in this movie I wrote down, these guys like ass. Because... Oh, when they're going into the tube... By the way, it's a kids' movie.

June, you said so confidently, like, pull up a picture of those pants. I'm going to, I don't know if I have them. We need a minute. We're in, we're in the zone. We're getting into the, right when they climb through the ton. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, there we go. There we go. There we go. Okay, so wait, so wait, so wait.

Okay. Oh. Okay. Now we can get to work. Now, now we can get to work. Okay. Does anybody have a laser pointer? We need a laser pointer. So right now, those look like jeans. Yes. Shorts.

No, Jason, those look like one pair of jeans. This angle looks like jeans. That looks like one pair of jeans that's been cut into. Well, yes, the legs have both been cut off except for tiny strips. connecting each, like, like, garter belts of jeans. I would say... Denim garter belts connect the bottom to the top. Right.

Like, so basically from the knee down is gene. From, from, like, just, from... It's like, it's like a thigh-high boot made of denim. But she is also wearing shoes. She is wearing shoes. This is what's so weird about this shot is I actually, I'm very excited to see this from behind. You are seeing it from behind.

I know, and I'm excited to see it from behind. Because... Okay. Okay, wait a second. Pause. What? Okay. Okay.

Okay. There's cycle shorts underneath. All right, so bicycle shorts. So keep in mind, there is full skin in between the lower leg and the butt. You are... Even though those are still part of, I believe, the same item of clothing. Although, wait, I just, something just occurred to me. I think that her gloves are made out of...

The jeans? The jeans. Wait, well, I think you're going to have to do... You have to type in double dragon, Paul? Alyssa Milano pants? I was typing it in quickly. You think Google's like, I know exactly the ones you're talking about, buddy? No, of course it's just.

because there was a Milano wearing fucking pants. Oh, wow. I would love it if you said, you said, Elissa Milano pants and your thing said again? All right, so here we go. We got a good picture of her pants. Oh, yes. Okay. Now we're talking.

Okay. Oh, my God. This is wild. All right. Even crazier. Okay, somebody is screaming something from over here that is legitimate. Okay. That is part of her camouflage. which is the spray paint allows her to remember people were blended into the wall. But here's the thing.

Guess what's not camouflaged? The flesh of her thighs. If you want, you know what? Our military doesn't do? They don't have camouflage from here down, here up, and then just generous skin. But by the way, I like the idea that's her camouflage, but it should be the whole body. It's not like people are just going to see her from the way. waist down. But now I'm thinking, okay.

You want to enlarge. You can hit that. Wait, I just want the cursor. I don't need to enlarge it. Okay. So this, this is not the same as the bicycle shorts in the back. This is a different... Yes, it is, people are saying. Look, that was gray. And this looks like lace... Wait, okay, hold on, hold on. I think it is...

Okay, fine. So these are gene garters. What is this string attached to? It's some sort of garter that's connecting the bottom gene to the top gene, I think. Can I ask the audience a question? Do you think what's on the bottom of her legs is the same as what's in her

crotch region? No. You think it's a pair of shorts and then a garter belt with gene bottoms? What? Fuck you, Philly. What?

I agree. I agree with the audience. Fuck you. I agree. I agree with the audience 100%. Hold on. I agree with the audience 100%. Hold on. Yes, absolutely.

Hold on. Hold on. I believe that she is wearing jeans and a green tea and when she goes undercover, she puts on her garters and attaches the spray paint pants. I get you, Philly. I'll eat horseshit with you.

I guess so? I guess so, but like, wow. Why? All right, well, obviously... This is for the work she's doing. Yeah, this is not functional. It just can't be.

Otherwise, people would have adopted it. Obviously, we're not... Karate students everywhere would be wearing these. We are not going to get to the bottom of this. You don't know what it's like to live in New Angeles in 2007, okay? So let's go to the audience right now to hear from them. Maybe they have questions besides the pants that we can do. talk about. And I'm going to ask you in the audience tonight a question. We hear about Madonna

divorcing Tom Arnold. We hear about Jerry Brown being the vice president of the United States. In this world, what celebrity do you think might be the president of the United States in this world? All right. Your name, your president, and your question. My name is Boz, the president in this world? Yes. Oh, not the president in our world. We're not the president in our world. We're We know that. That wouldn't be a hard thing. I'll just take a guess. You can say anything.

Still Donald Trump. Okay, great. Perfect. See, it was perfect. All right, now your question. Okay. So the quake, I think it had a bit a little bit more impact on the area than New Angeles than maybe had mentioned. Because in that weather forecast, I saw a place called La Canada.

That actually is a place in Los Angeles called La Caniata. But go ahead. It is. I am serious. So, okay, we'll move on. You did it, Philly. You did it. First question out of the gate. You did it. All right, ma'am, your name, your president, your question. Hi, my name's Moe. President Tony Danza. Great. Excellent.

Angela. End of the movie. They get into the car at the very end with Beau. whatever his name was. And they think that Scott Wolf is possessing him, so they get in the car with him, but then he's actually in the trunk of the car the entire time. So my question is, what was he doing in the trunk? Great question.

And also, does he have the power to possess bodies at that point? Yeah. Yes. So I thought he had the power of the body. Doesn't he have the power of the double dragon? So once he becomes, a double dragon. Those powers are interchangeable. They can both... They have to combine it in order to both have the

powers? No, no, because Robert Patrick is going in people's souls the whole movie. Only with the sole half. Oh. Right. Can we get bees down a little bit and houselights up a little bit? You're right, because I thought that was odd because it was all... Yeah, you're right. I was like, why did they assume he was in the other body? They don't even know. They just got them. They're like, we got to figure out these medallions a little bit more. I mean,

they're rubbing it for a good part of the movie. Your name, hi. Yeah, why is everybody rub it like it's Aladdin's lantern? I don't know. Your name, your president, and your question. Hi, I'm Whitney, I'm so nervous. Hi, my president is... You got this, Wendy.

Whitney. Whitney? You got this, Whitney. Thank you. My president would be Terry Cruz. Oh. So you think this is like an idiocracy scenario? Yeah, very much so.

And there's two observations I've made since you're in John Wicke. three, which I love you. You're great. Did you notice the two twins, they always, that whole group with like the head of Locklear clone and everything, they always synchronized their glasses and eating gum together. But did you also notice that the restraints that they had, who's the Asian guy? Huey and Lewis? No, the, Mark DeCos. Oh, Mark DeCosos?

Yes. He was in restraints. It looked like Gimp. Those were the worst restraints have ever seen because he could easily get out of those. Like Gimp for like making a. friendship bracelet at camp? Yes, like the box. Oh, I was thinking Pulp Fiction.

Man. I remember making friendship bracelets in, like, day camp. Tough stuff. Nobody wanted them. All right, a man in a blood sport shirt has a question. Sir, your name, your president, your question. Ryan, probably Mel Gibson.

Okay, great. And I just wanted to talk about the Easy Cheese Engine Fuel. Oh, yeah. So at one point, they read the ingredients of easy cheese, they throw it in there, and they basically go like a million miles an hour. So the car, my understanding is the car is run on trash? Very much like Back to the Future, too. Yeah, exactly. And so they have to put trash in to make the car run. And then they pick up a, like, yeah, an aerosol bottle, and it says, do not combust. They throw it in anyway, and the car goes super, fast. A scathing indictment on snack food. You would think, though, that again, that would come back later in the movie. That would be a skill that they learn once in Act 1, that in Act 3, they're like,

boom, now we know how to go faster in the Dragonmobile. And that is really the problem with the movie, the only problem with the movie as far as I see it, is that there's nothing heroic about these two characters. There's nothing, they don't use their smarts. They really don't use their except for that one awesome move. They don't have, they don't seem really to have a mission. At all. They're just sort of going along with it. They just are like happening.

They're kind of, they're almost like a couple of doofuses who keep happening into, like, the movie should be about Alyssa Milano. Like the leader of a, like the active leader of a rebellion. Or Satari, that's why I was so upset she died early on. I would have loved to have watched her journey. Your name, your president, and your question. My name is Frank. I think the president of this world is definitely Jerry Springer.

Great. And there's a lot of incredible technology in this movie. I'm glad we talked about the trash car. There's the video game rendering thing that the bad guy uses when he loses vision. But I think we have to talk about gang net link-up, which is... Yes, the onboard computer in the car? Is that what it is? The onboard computer in the car?

Yeah, I thought that was fascinating. Is that, I will ask, is that from the video game? No. Where you get the stats on each person you're going to fight? That's what I assumed it was, because he said, like, this is Bo Adobo. He's steroids. He can lift 800 pounds.

I was like, oh, maybe this is like one of the guys in the game that you fight, and these are his specifics. You know what I'm saying? Sir, your name, your president, and your question. My name is Rob. and I think Danny Elfman would be a good president. I can only imagine his score. Weird, but I like it.

You want Danny Elfman from Oingo Boingo. Absolutely. The person who soundtracks all of Tim Burton's movies and The Simpsons, again, from Oingo Boingo, to be president-elect of this world? Rob, you're from Philly. All right, your question. So during, when they first introduced Adobe,

and again, when they're in the chase scene and the whole part where he has to activate the game simulation for him to see because there's newspaper in front of him, was it just me or was him and his colleague like basically jerking each other off? I agree. I wrote that too. and because

and they fight over how they're doing it wrong. And the motion was like, you don't use a joystick, you don't do this to a joystick, right? A joystick doesn't respond to like torsion. You know, a joystick is forward,

backwards, shoot, shoot, shoot. But they were like twisting it. At one point, Boa Dobo is like, all right, I'm in, I'm in as much as, the balcony as I can physically get to. That's right. I'm up over here. Be careful up there, Paul. Be very careful, Paul.

Be very careful. Keep in mind, not only is this a balcony, it is a balcony in Philly. Yeah, just keep... I am right now in the balcony boxes. You have a question? Okay, your name, you do or you don't? I do. Okay, your name, your president, your question.

Okay, I feel like if he said Jerry Springer that Judge Judy would do a good job as president. My name's Katie. My question is, do you know? that the Jack City guys are from Philly. Oh, wow, really? They are on Channel 12 called Furniture on the Mend. They're the furniture guys. They are local treasures.

Wow. And they live half a block from where they filmed a scene in Manikin 2. Wow. They're also in Manikin 2. Not bad. Best falcony question we've ever gotten. I almost feel like... Like, well done. Great job.

I almost feel like we should end the show. I mean, a woman just started dancing when that was announced. Yes. People lost their minds. This guy, out of his seat, this is not going to be good. All right, let's see. Oh, wait, it might be great. He's holding something, Paul.

He's holding a medallion. He's holding a double-drague. What is that? Double Dragon Medallion. Oh my God. All right, sir. He found it. He found the double dragon medallion.

Sir, your name, your president, your question. My name's Tony. My president would be Rodney Dangerfield. Great. The director of this movie, in addition to directing hundreds of music videos,

also directed the Return of Bruno. Wow. Wait, Return of Bruno. That was the album. That's the... Willis' album. I think probably the music video. The music video for the...

Okay. Okay, one of the... The Bruce Willis Harmonica Vanity Project. Which as a kid... ...tried to convince everybody he was a blues harmonica player. Which, as a kid, it was an album I owned. What? Many years later, did I find out that under the boardwalk was not an original Bruce

Willis tune? I loved Bruno. What? I love Bruno. The return of Bruno. Were you like, hey mom, let me just put on some return of Bruno, pour you a glass of Chardonnay. I...

Some under the boardwalk, if you know what I mean, Mommy. Smooch, smooch, smooch. Really was in for a shock that most of those were covered. Secret Agent Man. Thought these were all original. You thought Bruce Willis wrote Under the Boardwalk? That would make him unquestionably. the most talented person in history.

I mean, I saw blind dates. I knew. Alissa Milano Pants. Why did that man have a double dragon? Alyssa Moulano Pants is a T-shirt option. It's just the Google search bar. It's the Google search bar, and it's Alyssa Milano Pants. Paul, last question before we move off of Alyssa Milana's pants. We're back on it.

We're back on it just for one second. The character in the video game, what is she wearing? All right, Google it. Video game for the nerds, is Robert Patton's character like the boss? No. The big boss? No. What?

He's not in the game. Okay, thank you. Is anybody else in the game? This is a bobo. This is the game? Yep. So we'll see the little story coming out. Like, you might as well have made a movie out of Dig Dog.

Make me a Dig Dog movie. All right, hold on. It's going to start the story. Hold on. All right. We're picking our mode. There's, okay, there's Alyssa Milano. She's punched in the stomach.

Wait a minute. Is this the Mohawk gang? Yeah. Is that Boa Doba? Boa Doba punches Alyssa Milano in the stomach. Takes her. Wait, is that Alyssa Malo? Yes, Jason.

It is. Okay. And she's wearing a little red dress. Grieger. And then that's our guys. Both of these are our guys? No, the one in blue guy. Okay. Can you pause, please, Paul? This is blowing my mind.

The fact that this is the game is categorically insane. And now here are the two brothers fighting to the death. The brothers fight. They're brothers.

They are brothers. He gets her out of the bed. On the... What? And they start kissing. There's a cat? By the way, she looks very comfortable. Here's a couple of questions.

I have questions. Hey? What's the vest on the hanger? Do you see the vests? What's that waiting for? She's relaxed. The cat is really... Why is the cat there?

And like, what? He beats his brother to death. Then she's like, you win, I'll fuck you. Let me just put my fuck vest on. And by the way, this game has no dialogue, not even a little bit of dialogue. Wait a second. I think I just heard it. It's the red vest, isn't it?

It's his brother's vest, Jason. Wait a minute. That's a trophy? That vest is a death trophy? That's wild. And you're telling me, you're telling me that blue beats red,

Mark DeCos wins every day of the week. Also, Well, in that world, they also have no medallion and no power. Also, okay, fine, but Alyssa Milano, so she would have fucked whoever won and hearts would have come out of her head? And also doesn't,

why not just figure out a way to live as a thruple? Doesn't double dragon sound like a sexual position where brothers fuck the same woman? Why can't they just double dragon her at the end? Do you guys think, and I'm dead serious, do you think that that cat is really red dragon? Reincarnated? Just watching? There's something about that cat. I'd like you to go back to it, Paul.

Can we look at the cat, please, Paul? There's something about that cat. Because I agree with June, the cat's a fucking pervert. Very eerie. The cat's like, okay, I'm watching, but I'm also going to lick this Puss while this is happening. By the way, that should be the shirt, just the cat. But in the cat's eyes, you just see the red dragon.

You just see your brother kissing the girl. I mean, like, that is like, the message of that is really wild. That, like, oh, once you beat all of the villains, in order to get the woman, you have to kill your brother, and then fuck her while a cat watches. Well, you don't have to fuck her while the cat watches. The cat wants it. You got to watch because the cat is the actual boss.

Wow. And I swear to God, pause for a second. If that cat was on the couch, I wouldn't have thought twice. If that cat was outside of the table, I wouldn't have thought twice about it. If that cat was on that little dresser over there, it would never have occurred to me. There's something about the position of that cat. Here's what I'm going to say, and I don't want to spend too much time on the game. This is a brick house.

There's no way it survives the quake. There's no way the big quake happens. Brickhouse, boom, you dunzo. Guess what? Every brick house to the ground. It's got structural foundation, we know. I don't even know what to make of that. This, the game, that is what the, that is what the,

movie is made. That is... I'm serious when I say like a more interesting movie could be made of joust. The game where you sit like a knight on an ostrich's back and fly around jousting people with okay now, do they fuck?

I just wanted to see if this was a better version of it. Nope, same thing. Just kiss, kiss, kiss. I mean, I guess now that I see what she looks like in the game, I'm happier about how she looked in the movie. Here's what my Yeah, yeah. Here's my question too is when they're done, will you rewind a little bit, Paul?

And so here's the thing, right? Rewind a little bit. Okay, so great, go ahead, play it from here. Okay. So she's like, you did it. And he's like, yes, I killed my brother for you. Right? I killed him dead.

He was my brother. Smooch, smooch, smooch, right? And then they look right at us as if to say, is this what you wanted? Is this, they look right at the player. They look right at the player. You made me do this. You did this.

You made a brother kill brother just for the love of this woman. And it isn't even the love of the woman. It just is like, to the victor go, the spoils? Does she have agency in this at all? No. Nope. Didn't even have a say.

All right, ladies and gentlemen, we obviously have an opinion about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second opinion. I got home. Search Amazon. Prime and I threw on double drag. There's a big earthquake juggalo's roam the streets who

Alyssa Milan's bros gotta keep safe from discount Gary Olds. That their girlfriend or their aunt I can't tell but she'll die just to keep them alive time for second opinions gotta check Amazon find out who gave five stars to shit show. There's who costumed this crap. Let's go check. And... Great job, Molly. Come here. All right, here we go, people. Double Dragon, Second Opinions. These are cold from Amazon.com.

There are 80 reviews for this film, 80. Not many. 58% are five-star reviews. 58%. But they're all very personal. This one written by Al Forno writes, I love this movie. I'm sorry. Five stars. And then this one's written by T. Lejeure.

He goes, love this movie. I was there during some of the filming in Cleveland. I got to meet everyone but Robert Patrick. Who's from Cleveland? Five stars. This one's interesting from Guillaume B. Pro. He writes, Excellent.

Sorry about the delay of my comment. Five stars. So if you were waiting on him to finally get around, yeah, sorry about the delay. I didn't mean to keep waiting. I've been meaning to put this comment up, but my apologies to everybody. I know you've been expecting it. This one is interesting. This is from holo suite at yahoo.coms.

I love this DVD. You probably think I'm wacko, but I've never seen prequels or sequels or video games. This is my first experience of Double Dragon. For me, it's an hour and 36 minutes of escapism and light entertainment. The props. The lighting, the setting, the costumes are spectacle to watch on an 84 centimeter television. Whoa. Five stars.

Honestly, is that like this big? 84 centimeters? Isn't that very small? This one is written by Suleem. And he writes, please send me all of the movies of Bruce Lee. I live in San Diego. My address is nine,

the point of Coronado Canyon. My zip is 9218. My home number is 691-518-4715. Thank you. This person does not know how Amazon works. If they think that's how you order videos on Amazon, is you go to the double dragon comment section and say,

please send me all of Bruce Lee's movies? Here's my address. Jason, June, obviously those people love the movie. Would you recommend that people see this film? It's funny. I, of course, did not like the movie. But I didn't struggle through watching it. And that says a lot for me.

It really does. So for a movie like this... Especially considering the fact that we're watching it... Before we started, you're like, the last thing I want to do was watch a movie called Double Dragon right now. Yes, and it was, but I saw Alyssa Milano, I saw those pants, I saw some things that I liked. And it was absurd. And it was absurd in the way I think that they were intending for young audiences with the theater backdrop and the absurd props and all of that stuff and gumballs. I love that trope where people who are fighting in movies, they never just stop and let the gumballs go by.

They just continue to run On top of gumbole Just stop and let them all Find their resting point Was there a time when Small round balls Was a weapon of choice for anybody? You would think in its

How often it's used in movies That it would be one of our main tactics For unsettling the enemy Is just to loose round balls on them That's why the American troops were able To storm the beaches at Normandy because the balls just got stuck in the sand. Really?

Yeah. That's true? That's true. They were, the, uh, the, the, uh, the, the, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, uh, the, the, the, uh, the, the, the, uh, the, the, uh, the, the, uh, the, the, just getting stuck, is a lot about history, so that, that, that probably, all like that. That tracks. Yeah.

Jason, what do you think? Oh, yeah, I would watch this. This is like, this is, again, I don't remember having watched it. Yeah. So, I don't know, I can't, it's one of those things that it's like, um, when you take ambient and you don't remember that you made a turkey sandwich? Yeah. Like, somehow this movie does that to you?

Where I woke up and I was like, how did I get here? What's going on? Okay. I don't remember it. I couldn't tell you much about it. It seemed fun. Again, colors, shapes, movement, all that stuff.

It's got it in spades. I would say especially for this project of watching it for the podcast? Absolutely. It's not tedious. It's not awful. It doesn't wear out its welcome. It's not, doesn't feel too long.

I even have a more full-throated recommendation. I think this movie is so fun and so bizarre and so weird. It has every trope of the movies that we watch on this show, but they're all together, and it's shorter and less tedious than all those other ones. You got elements of everything in here. It's so weird. No choice really makes sense. And it has this effect where none of us are quite sure.

what we watched or what the plot was. I'm not sure. And we still enjoyed it. So a full-throated recommendation, Double Dragon forever, make a sequel now. Yes. Like, make a sequel, make a direct sequel that is, like,

use Mark and Alyssa and Scott now and have them still be, have it be new, it's like. Make it in 2009 and then go. That's interesting. A big thank you to you, Philadelphia. Philly, yes. You've been an amazing.

You fucking did it, Philly. An amazing crowd. Thank you for having us. One of the best crowds we've had on this tour. Thank you. Thank you. You did it, Philly. That's right.

Out there. Do it up, Philly. All right. Thank you, Philadelphia. You guys were amazing, and we did catch our train, and we did get to go home. Let me tell you about the shirt

that we designed for this show. It's one of my favorite ones. We didn't talk about it explicitly, but it is what the cat saw. It is an amazing shirt that calls back the double dragon game, and it's basically the cat watching one of the brothers make love to the Alyssa Milano character from the video game. It's one of our best-selling shirts, and people hadn't even seen the episode. So definitely head over to tepublic.com slash stores slash HDTGM to check that out. A big thanks to Devin, our engineer who was live in Philadelphia and saved us from

near doom with those audio issues. My God. Whoa, rough one. Also a big tip of the hat to our producer, Averallie, pulled all of those amazing movies for this tour. She's fantastic. You can follow her on movie bitches on YouTube and all the other social media sites. A big tip of the hat to Cody, who's also our producer here in L.A. And I also want to give a warm and generous thanks to Nate Kylie, who does all of our research. And Kyle Waldron, who does all of our research. And Kyle Waldron, who does all. of our amazing design. We have an amazing team. Everybody here at Earwolf. And if you want to continue this conversation about Double Dragon, please give me a call for the mini episode next week. It's 619, P-A-U-L-A-S-K, that's 619, Paul Ask.

You don't have to just ask about the movie. You can talk about anything you want. We've been getting into fantastic conversations on our mini-episode. Love, relationship, job advice, whatever you want. We will tackle it each and every week on the mini-episode. Take a listen-in, and we will be playing a deleted scene about Alyssa Milano's pants on that episode.

as well. So tune in for next week's mini episode where we tell you the movie that we are going to talk about the week following that, but we will also get into your comments, concerns, and questions all about Double Dragon. We will see you next time on How Did This Get Made?