How Did This Get Made? - Double Team w/ Owen Burke (Classic)

Episode Date: June 30, 2026

The dynamic duo of Jean-Claude Van Damme & Dennis Rodman star in the 1997 action-comedy Double Team, and Owen Burke (Drunk History) joins Paul, June, and Jason to break it all down. They cover the tiger tipping off Mickey Rourke at the amusement park, Rodman’s basketball zingers, the cyber monks, the indestructible Coke machine, and so much more. (Ep. #82 Originally Released 02/11/2014) • Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, FAQs, and more• Leave us a voicemail at speakpipe.com/hdtgm• Submit your Last Looks theme song here• Join our Discord at discord.gg/hdtgm• Buy merch at howdidthisgetmade.dashery.com/• Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of Trauma• Shop our new hat collection at podswag.com• Paul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheer• Paul’s YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheer• Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer• Subscribe The Dark Web w/ Paul & Rob Huebel: youtube.com/@enterthedarkweb• Listen to Unspooled with Paul & Amy Nicholson: unspooledpodcast.com• Listen to The Deep Dive with June & Jessica St. Clair: thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcast• Instagram: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & @junediane• Twitter: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & msjunediane  • Jason is not on social media• Episode transcripts available at how-did-this-get-made.simplecast.com/episodesGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ooh. Dennis Rodman makes his acting debut. We saw double team, so you know what that means. Now we're how to this get made. We're going to have a good time, celebrate some failure. Not just need a hate of, because you know you wonder, how did this campaign? Let's go in the mediocrity of subpar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question. How did this get made?

Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made. I am Paul Shear. Let me introduce my co-host. Jason Manzukas, how are you, Jason? Well, Paul, I have a low fever. A low fever. A little bit of a sweats going on, so I don't feel great. Well, I'm going to tell you you're going to really enjoy your co-os today because she also has a low fever.

Please welcome June Diane Rayfield. Hi, Paul. How are you feeling? I'm good. Right before this, I took some robotescent. I was in the car with you. I saw it all happen. Oh, and are you upset?

I'm sorry. Wait, don't reveal our special guest. I know I gave him a big hug and I don't want him to think that I'm contagious. No, I caught the fever. I'm going to take my temperature on the air. Jason is now put, can you get a picture of this? I don't have a fever, though.

You picture that? I caught the fever, the double team. Oh, should I say that? I caught the fever of how did this get made. The temperature chart has gone off. If you're wondering who's talking. Oh, let's see. 991.

91, not temperature. That's not really. I mean, it's barely a fever, but I feel. You can go to school. I feel shitty. I feel like really like burr. Well, just say you're right. That's barely.

a fever. Barely a fever. Nothing to complain about. And to introduce our special guest you've already heard, please welcome Owen Burke. You know him from the amazing Earwolf podcast. Owen and T.J. Read the News. Welcome, Owen. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it. I'm a huge fan of the show and of movies in general.

And are you excited about getting sick from these two people that you're sitting in between? I can't wait because I'm getting on a plane tomorrow. And where are you going? I'm going to San Francisco. With me. With Paul Shear. Sketchfest? We call it Frisco. I just keep in Frisco until someone pushes me down a flight of stairs.

Well, normally I would be nervous when two of the people on this show have a low-grade fever or not feeling well. But I honestly believe this is one of the best movies that we have ever done. It is. I was blow. This movie was mind-boggling. Everything about it. I couldn't figure out what was going on.

It was... At first, I thought it was like a video to learn a new language or something. It was like how to teach English to people from... the eastern block or something. Well, that's true, because it's also, like, in what world is Van Dam's name Jack Quinn? Yeah, yeah. Like, in what universe is that his name? Well, this is the same problem we had when he was in Street Fighter.

Yes. Right. Which is... He was a very American. Are we to believe he is an American? Right, right. Is nobody going to speak up against this? And it's the same thing that they do is Schwarzenegger.

Like, he's the sheriff of a small town in Mexico. No, he's not. But I guess I feel like with the names in... stuff once you know your actors Van Damme like why not just adjust it? There's Petro or something you know? Yeah. What does

Jack Quinn give us? Well and he... Because they say his name once, like right at the top and they're like, Jack Quinn's going in and he's got to get this plutonium and then in 14 hours and then he gets to retire. Well that was... Well this is my whole problem with the movie. I didn't understand that beginning. Even remotely.

Well, here's my thought. Like they I think what they thought was the movie originally started out with Jean-Claude Van Dam by the pool with his wife and then he gets caught up in this thing but that's like 30 minutes until the first action scene so like oh shit we need to like tack on a James Bond thing because literally the movie opens with like

this is his last mission and then after that it's like hey why don't you come back for your last mission it's like there's two last missions right he also couldn't make heads or tails of that he steals a cool truck with I guess plutonium in is that the deal well he's stealing it for from Starvro.

I couldn't tell anything that was going and I didn't know who was who. They were talking about names and I couldn't tell who was the names

and I literally wrote I was like it's minute two and I'm already confounded because they also are doing it it seems like all post like all ADR. The ADR budget on this was insane.

I actually like when I was wanting I'm like you could watch the whole first thing you're just like this is all ADR and then it's like anything that comes out of Rodman's mouth is all ADR.

Like you could there's shots of them point blank where his lips aren't moving and it's like, we gotta get out of here. And it's just like, it's almost like he's Charlie MacArthur in Chester or something. Like he's a ventriloquist. And sometimes I think John Claude Van Damme is doing the lines for him.

It's like, Jean, while you're here, why you just do Dennis's lines? Let's lay it down. He hasn't shown up. Just do them because they're like, they're imperceptible. Well, my favorite part, and I will say, I did enjoy the movie quite a bit. Sure, yeah.

Oh, my gosh. I loved it. It's really wonderful. But the best part of the cold open is in the end when he drives, he sort of, I guess, gets away. For what I don't really know, I don't know what the state. I didn't know what was happening. He's stealing that truck.

Okay, so he's stealing the truck with the plutonium in it is. Okay. Which, of course, you smash through walls and through people when you have plutonium. That was my biggest concern. Like, that truck is brutalized at any point that could just be a strike against. He drives off of a cliff. He drives off of a cliff. He drives off of a cliff face.

But then when he finally is like out of danger's way, he just sort of drives into a or a street as though no one's ever going to notice him. This giant truck of plutonium. I've never seen a truck so big. I mean, it was the most unusual machine. My only knowledge of plutonium comes from back to the future, and it seems like you must carry those things in very specific ways. And in some sort of a case.

No, it seemed very irresponsible what he was doing. And why was there so... Can you even have that much plutonium? Well, what I was wondering, too, was at the beginning when he steals the truck, The truck has like a hitch on the back and there's more truck. Yes. And then that gets lost along the way. And I was like, isn't that where the plutonium is?

He doesn't care. He just wants to get out of there. It's like, yeah, there's the plutonium. I'm just going to drive. And so then we just cut to three years later. Three years later. Three years. South of France.

Well, this is what I love. I love this house in the south of France because it was on this like cliff peninsula, this beautiful castle with a pool. And then a guy climbs up the cliff. And he's like, How did you find me? Maybe because you're in the most exposed house in Europe. The other thing that I thought was hilarious is it's supposed to be like this remote location where nobody can find him.

And there is a train that is going on right behind the house. A large train goes right by them. They live by the track. They live by the train. Here's the weird thing. I thought that must come back. Nope. Because otherwise why would they ever just show?

shoot it with the train there. Like, why? Why? It never comes back. Or, or, why not wait to get the shot when the train isn't there? The light is perfect. The light now. That's it. I was like, the train can't be there all the time. The train just happened to pass in that shot. You take, do another take. Nope. No. John Cod works. That's it. Nobody knows the train. I really think that this was all tied into like some sort of like Perillo tours or some sort of European tour company. It was like, we've We can go to Rome. We can go to all these locations.

It's all set up, and you have to write the movie around these locations. There's so much, again, in this movie that is so kind of shoe-worned in where you could have simplified this whole movie could be so simplified. He doesn't have to be retired. Nope. That doesn't come into play really that much at all. All it needs to be is a secret agent with a pregnant wife. That's it.

Start the movie there and have this guy. Because there's no sense in the rest of the movie that he's struggling with. being back in the game. No, no. Not at all. He loves it instantly. The only thing he's struggling with is dialogue. It's the only thing he's struggling with.

Well, he immediately accepts the mission the last last minute. His wife is pregnant, by the way. Ready to give birth. Well, by the way, I had a problem with that. There's a huge plot point that, you know, he's sort of racing to get back by her due date. 36 hours. Yes, that's the other thing. He's going to give birth.

But how does he know? I mean, look, it's very rare that you actually give birth on your duty date. Does the movie take place in 36 hours? Yes. No, but the call and he doesn't happen at the same time. No, no, that's what he said he'll be back in 36 hours. Oh, I'm sorry. Got it, got it, got it.

Okay, sorry, Joe. Go ahead. No, but I was going to say it's a pretty flawed, like, plot device that they're, that's the timeline we're working on when most women do not give birth on their due dates. at all? At all? At all? I've missed because of my baby's

birth. I've missed every wedding just because it's like oh, she's going to give birth that date? No, it's two weeks

later and I miss fun weddings. It's not, I don't even think it's like she's going to get a real life regret. You know what?

I miss a lot of open bars. You know? And after parties. I don't think she was giving birth in 36 hours. I think he was saying

to her, I'll be back it, not like Schwarzenegger. But he's like although Dennis Rodman does do an all be back that is like Schwarzman.

Yes, well, of course. Later on in the movie, though, they talk about, he talks about what day is it, and he writes the birth date and. But, I mean, then if she's giving birth in 36 hours, this movie spans quite a long period of time. She doesn't give birth until, like, the third act, which is months later. No, I think she, because she also doesn't look, she only looks a little pregnant. Yeah.

I don't think she's promising her 36 hours. Yeah, I think he's saying that's all it's going to take to clean this mess up. Yeah. And then I'll be back. Don't worry. So when he, when he's in the colon. and he writes that butterfly in the calendar. What is that date?

Remember, there's multiple pages of months he's tacked up. But that's nine months. You know what I mean? That's her due date that he's writing in advance, that he's got to get out by then. But eventually she does give birth on her due date. Yes. Yes.

But that's months later. It's not 36 hours later. But she had it scheduled. She had it scheduled. They were going to end due. The C-section. I'm just saying the stake seemed to be that this birth is going to happen right on that day.

I think there's a little bit of an issue. So you're just saying that you don't like that the whole movie is driving towards... Driving toward this one day. That's really kind of arbitrary. I think the movie has a little bit bigger problems. I think the biggest... No, I think what's driving him isn't to get out of the colony for the baby's birth. It's because Mickey Rourke sends him the message, I have your butterfly.

Right. Yeah. Well, no, because she is an art. She's an artist and she makes big steel sculpture. and all of this. Wonderful. And, you know, it's like he loved this giraffe or a camel, whatever it was. It's a swan.

A swan. And he really loved it. Your swan is beautiful. You are beautiful. He loved it. He loved it. And then since he's been gone missing because he goes missing in the middle of the movie, she's like, yeah, I'll sell that. You know, she doesn't have any connection to it.

Like, no, there's no nostalgia for her. She's like, yeah, I'll sell that to you. Whatever. Me in Rome. I'll sell the thing my missing husband loved. Well, here's the thing. Even, like, before we even get to the fact that he messes up this mission, So he goes to like Antwerp to, you know, kind of...

I love how other, like, go crazy to show you how weird Antwerp is. There's like scuba diving go-go girl. He's watching a scuba diver go-go dancer and then he's reflecting on his wife, which I thought was really odd. It's like he's going to a strip club just looking at his stripper going like, ah, great times of my wife. I go to strip clubs on my anniversary. I don't think that's so weird. No. When the guy comes to tell him, hey, you've got to come back.

You've got to do one more mission. You've got to get Starvros. You're the only guy that knows him. And he's like, okay, I'll do it. And then that guy goes back, the company man, whatever, he goes back and he gets in his car. Stavros is in the car waiting for him. And he says, I didn't understand. He says, I left a little something for you in the back as he exits the car and it's a bomb.

And the guy starts to freak out. And then locks himself in the car. car. He locks himself in the car. He locks himself in the car. It's a panic. It's a panic. How could Stavros have counted on that?

The guy could have, if the guy was in a dummy, he could have just easily gotten away. He's a grade A clutz. He knew it. And that was part of the plan. They show his elbow accidentally pushing down the lock of the car. Oh, sorry. Go on. No, I was, if I'm, I may be mistaken, but I thought the bomb city had 60 seconds to get out of there.

That's a lot of time. And you know what happens? It goes off in like 13 seconds. It's like 59, 58, 1, boom. Here's my question. Why did Stavros set that all up? Like, I didn't understand what he was setting up. He wanted to get Van Dam back in the game.

He used this guy to get him and then he blows up the guy because the guy doesn't have power locks. And so he knew that this guy drove like a Honda Civic Value. Oh, wait a minute. I have a question about that then. So did Stavros high? that guy to get to motivate van dan back in the game? No, no, no, no. Stavros is orchestrating this whole thing.

Stavros is like, I need to show my face to get Van Dan back in the game because I need to get my revenge on Van Dan for stealing my giant Vat of plutonium. And so he just knows this is going on. So I think he, I think that killing the government agent is sort of like what Stavros does. It's neither here or they. The guy wasn't working for Stavros. No, no, no, no. Because he was like, I hate, he was like upset. Yeah.

Now, so the plan to kill Stavros is that Stavros is going to show up at an amusement park on the rainiest night of the year. Clearly, by the way, well. It hasn't stopped anyone else from showing. No. It is a packed night. By the way, this movie, if there's ever been a movie where there's animal cruelty, I know we've seen it in the past in different films, this one definitely takes the cake. We'll get to a lion later or a tiger. By the way, how about like the way the movie deals with both animals and babies?

Oh, babies are. A lot of babies. A lot of babies and bombs and women too. A lot of women get killed. And you know what? Here's the thing. There's this big shoot. They meet up at this amusement park to kill Stavros.

He won't take the shot because Stavis's son is there. But then a shootout happens and the son gets killed. Everybody gets killed. But people are still riding rides. People are like still strapping and riding rides. Standing in line for rides like, oh, look at that gunshot. Wherever they are, mayhem explodes. Like when they're in Rome in the big square where there's a wedding going on,

wedding patrons are just being mowed down by machine gunfire. And there's a lot of shots of women. This is at the amusement park. I'm at the wedding where women are being killed from behind. Like a lot of women die from gunshot wounds to the back. Well, they're running away. They're running away and they get shot in the back by like just crossfire. That's just not something you see every day.

No, just lie down. That's why I was like, just lie down. Why are you still standing and lying? for the Tilta world. My favorite thing before they get to the amusement park is when we have the Dennis Rodman Introduction. Oh, wow. Yes.

Can I, let's just play it and we can talk about this is a, this is going to be a Rodman banter, some classic Rodman banter. Who are you? I'm the man. You? I hope you don't dress a person by the way they look. I hate that. Who does your hair?

Sick for the Roy. The last guy made fun of my hair. He's still trying to put his hair out of his ass. I don't want to know. know about your sixth life. Well, this has been fun. Now, what the hell are you? Jack Queen.

The energy is exploding. It's almost like the director was like, okay, between sentences and between exchanges, I want you to take a full beat. Yeah. So just to, we really want to lengthen this out. We really want to, they're punctuated by silences. I don't want to give anyway, some real, how their relationship grows. but what I notice is that their relationship starts with indifference towards each other,

and then as the movie gets, like, farther along, they're still indifferent. They're just standing closer to each other. They're still the same indifference. They never connect at all. I have to say, why does he ask about his sexuality? Well, I feel like in this era, it was sort of like he's so, because we're introduced to Dennis Robben getting like a belly button piercing. And his hair is all crazy and he's covered in tattoos.

So that's just a homosexual. Romophobic remarks. Yeah, well, I think that was like a big, like, Rodman at the time, like, how his style on the court and everything was very questionable. It was very, like, he was in the Madonna sex book. There was a lot of, like, there was a lot of stuff going on. And a very, you know, in a very stuffy American agent, like Jack Paul Quinn. Yeah. An all-American guy is not going to stand for someone like, yes.

That is Dennis Robbins' character's name, yes. And yes, by the way. Rodman did a fine job. Wow. What now? I thought, look, Dennis Rodman is in basketball player. Yes. Are you sure?

Yes. For what he had to do in this film, I thought he did a fine job. I thought he got better. I thought he did a fine job. There's that scene when he knows that Jack, Paul Quinn is dangerous, and he's like, I don't know. And then he, like, touches a wall with his hand. And then it's just all dialogue from the back, like, from the back of his head,

like, I know you're dangerous. And then it cuts to him. but what the hell? I like danger. It's like he just turns his, I, changes his mind on a dime. By the way, I have a bigger issue with the writing because it, it,

I didn't understand why all of a sudden he was joining forces with Jack. Made no sense. There was no incentive. But by the way, because it was a family because his son was in danger. But Jack, but first of all, let's even get to the reason what they even meet is suspect.

Jack Paul Quinn works for the government. He's doing a government hit. Why does he have to go to some weird arms dealer to get weapons. Like, this is a government hit. Well, no, because he's working. He says he's working for the good guys now. So I assume he was like, he was Van Dam's contact in Antwerp.

He's like one of the, he's working with the CIA or the whoever it is. I mean, but he also looks like he's probably selling weapons because he like has a room that's like, like, like, Victoria's Secret or something. It's like, it's like, or Betty Page Shop. It's like black and white pictures of like women in lines. lingerie that you press, the doors open, and there's just tons of weapons inside. Weapons that they have no problem setting off in the very small room. They're just shooting stuff, throwing grenades, like crazy. I got to just say generally throughout the movie, no police ever come.

There's buildings exploding. There's never a fire truck, never an ambulance, never police. No one, no policeman's ever like, what's that going on around the corner? Is that an explosion? It's just like they get to do whatever they, when they're in the hospital. It's Europe. There's not even a doctor. There's a lot of hospitals in this movie.

A lot of hospitals. And there's no hospital staff at night. There's none. It's like they all go home at all. They're just babies crying alone. There's no nurse. That was the building. And they also turn off the lights, it seems like, in these hospitals.

Apparently. All right, well, we'll keep the babies in the nurse. We'll shut off the lights. We'll be back in the... Don't hook them up to any monitors. Just let them roam around free in their baby bins. That was really upsetting. But again, I want to go back to Dennis Robin.

So again, we're led to believe that John Cloth Van Dam is an expert. And, you know, like the James Bond, and he just casually pulls a grenade pin. He's like, oh, what's this? Like, he's worked with grenades, we would assume. Well, this is some sort of like James Bondi kind of doesn't look like a grenade grenade. Yeah, it's like. Oh, okay. But still, like, they never show what it is exactly.

Like you never get a clear shot of like, wait, what did he just do? Like, it's almost like so much was done off camera. It's like just pretend that you did something. Hey, don't we want to get an insert shot of the thing that he's pulling? No, no, no, no, it's just a big pen. We didn't invent a thing. We didn't make a thing. To me, I felt like.

No, pizzas arrived on set. We're going to eat the pizzas now. I feel like it is honestly like everyone did one take and they were all drunk and hung over from the night before partying. Because when you look at Van Dan, like he has bags. Like, he looks better now than he did in this movie. I feel like this is at the height of just like, I'm drinking, I'm partying, I'm doing coke. This whole thing feels like a tax shelter right off, like that producers were renting out their own locations that they owned and just getting a tax rebate.

And it just felt like, yeah, you know what, I'll do this, you know. But, you know, it doesn't, nothing matters. It's not like they're making, it's not like they went out to make a movie. They went to, like, save money on taxes, international taxes, by making a movie. I want to talk about when they're also planning the mission to assassinate Mickey Rourke. Do we said that Mickey Rourke is the bad guy? Yeah, Mickey Rourke is Stavros. He doesn't put on any kind of foreign accent.

And he's Stavros. And he's Stavro's. And Doug Club Van Damas Jack Quinn. They should have switched the name. Which is the craziest part. Yeah, with a full Eastern European accent. Here's the question. Now, is he named Jack Quinn so that American audiences can relate to him?

You know he's European or is it for European audiences to celebrate an American hero played by a European. I think... I think his name was Jack Quinn in the script. And I think they probably wanted Sylvester Stallone or they wanted somebody, Bruce Willis,

and they didn't get him and they got JCVD and they were like, you know what? Fuck it. Yeah. Don't change it. It doesn't matter. Like after handing out the sides for the day, the script for the day of the actors, like, oh, we didn't change. Oh, it doesn't matter. But they're setting up this assassination at one point in the movie.

And they have, like, you remember him back to the future at the end when, like, Doc Brown makes like that incredibly detailed map? And he's like, okay, you'll go down Main Street and then you hit the thing. They also have a map exactly like that, like a three-dimensional map of an amusement park. Like, to just be like a sniper hit. Yeah. Like, there's no need for building 3D models. They have models.

They have scale models of all the rides. Like, back to the future style. They have a Ferris wheel. Like, the Ferris wheel is not coming into play. Like, why do they need this? I have to say, I kind of wish that Jack Quinn had shot Stavros' son. Because we didn't see who shot him. No.

So for us, though, it's like, oh, well, the whole thing is predicated on, like, revenge now. Well, what's weird, too, is that Jack Quinn could have just shot Stavros. Yes. And game over, we're done. That's it. A quick shot is a... But he hesitates, and because he hesitates, like, hundreds and hundreds of people die, apparently. No one ever gets in trouble.

There's no sense of like, oh, that's fine. You know, it's like, oh, it's such a botched crime. But you're going to go to this. Now you're going on vacation for the rest of your life. You just botched that. Hundreds of people died. Have fun. Take care.

Well, and you're right. That gunfire, I would say, is going off. That whole sequence is like 10 minutes long. Of everyone. Oh, yeah. It starts in an amusement park and goes into a hospital. Yeah. Well, because they're all hopped up on cotton candy and funnel kick.

But I want to talk about also the reveal of the child. They're like, okay, he's making contact. Stavros is making contact. Who's that woman? Who's that woman? And the child is underneath her rain poncho. Like, as if, I don't know if that's a thing. But the child is like five.

But again, he's revealed by her lifting, essentially lifting up her skirt and a child walks out. Why, if he's going to see, yeah, why wouldn't the child just be there the whole time? I mean, isn't it the whole thing? What's the value of her hiding a child in an amusement park? Because of the rain? Get him his own poncho. Everybody's riding rides. You know what I mean?

People seem fine with the rain. No one stopped. And by the way, they wrote, do you think they wrote the rain into it or happened to be rain? No, I think they only had that amusement park that night and it happened to be raining. And they just close up on this tiger. A wet tiger looks like the saddest, sickest thing. They have a long shot of this tiger pacing. But now, if the meeting was for Stavros to meet up with his family, wasn't he prepared?

Like, oh, I might see his wife and kid. I'm going to get nervous. Like, that was. He's not meeting like a. contact at the amusement park, you know? It's not like it makes no sense. And then they, he doesn't kill him. And then Starrose is the one who starts shooting.

He's the one who starts shooting everybody. Yeah, wait, wait, but, but here's, this is the part of the movie that I really was like, holy shit. This just passed into a new level of crazy, which was Stavros is talking to his son and the mother. And he looks over at the tiger. and the tiger looks up to wear Vandans. Yes.

Yeah, the tiger gives it away. The tiger tips him off. The tiger is a wild animal in a cage that's like, hey, bro, look up there. Have you ever seen Madagascar? These tigers are smart. I was like, wait, does the tiger work for Stavros? This is ludicrous. And of course, Stavros pulls out a gun and starts, and instantly in one shot shoots the sniper girl.

Yes. The one who said she could shoot the dick off a hummingbird. And she gets shot. I love these kind of shots where they shoot through the sniper lens and it goes like through her eye. Like it's like it's like the shot is so precise. Oh, that was that we skipped over that. That was a great scene where they're planning in the scene with the map, the map of the amusement park. The two things, the two lines we just said one that I loved, which was I can shoot with this.

I can shoot the dick off a hummingbird. It was delivered so beautifully. It was so great. But then the other one was the entrance is like one of the other guys brings Van Damme in. And he's like, gentlemen, this is Delta 1. Forget you ever saw him. I was like, well, he's still right there. We're all going to spend the rest of the day talking to him.

Like, what do you mean? Forget you ever saw him? It was. I couldn't stop thinking about those actors because as soon as I saw them, I'm like, oh, they're all going to die. We're never going to see them again. I'm like, oh, they're probably all staying in a hostel somewhere. They're not getting, they're just local hiring. Standing there.

They've been there all day. Now, this, if you would think, so they go into the amusement park, Then they get into a fight scene in a hospital where they're just throwing baby... In a nursery. Nursery. They get into a fight in a nursery. Where they're literally... They're tossing babies in and out at each other.

And, like, you know, essentially Jack Paul Quinn is not going to let a baby, you know, get in the middle of it. I love that the babe, there's a huge... Another grenade it goes off in that elevator. And then he pushes the baby out of the way. And the baby is unharmed, even though there's flames going all around him. Like knocked him out, but then the baby's like, Ma-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-H. So this whole thing ends with Stavros getting away.

The explosion from the grenade has knocked Jack Quinn out. And then he wakes up. This is where I jumped off the couch and went, what are we watching? Continue. He wakes up in the colony, which for those of you who've seen the 1960s television show, The Prisoner.

Yes. felt an awful lot like the prisoner. Oh, it was such a direct rip-off of the prisoner. And at this point, you're just like, what is... Made no sense. I was like, what is this groovy place for middle-aged men? So they live, so basically... That's what's weird about it is, like, it made no sense, but it was also my favorite

part of the movie. It was like the Oakhwood... I wish the whole movie was that. It was like an Oquid apartments for, like, ex-spies. It was all spies who have presumably been killed in battle, like, the best of the best. And like from KGB, CIA. Oh, yes, exactly, from everywhere. From everywhere.

But now they all work for the colony, which is a top secret spy organization that monitors the world for global terrorism. And then they are the last line of defense between everything and absolute chaos. Yeah. But they just analyze because they're never on the field. They can't ever have to. No, they can't leave the island. They put on their virtual reality glasses and a very complicated system where they have to keep. their hand down.

They're in this, like, Dr. Strangelove war room where they're watching, you know, they're getting feeds from everybody, but they have to keep their hand in one place at all time, which made no sense to me. I just felt like that's a place. I don't want to trust those guys to stop terrorism. It looks like everyone's like happy hour all the time on a cruise ship. It's like. Well, it's like, yeah, it's like a Mediterranean island is what it looks like.

It's beautiful. It was like, that's where they shot Mama Mia or something. Yeah, exactly it looked like that. Their pool looked like that. It's basically Santorini. And they go like this. And they say, like, they get him, like, you know, he wakes up. He's in this room.

It's like, hey, hit this button if you want to live. And he hits the button. And then he's, then he's, like, brought into this Dr. Strangelove room. And he hasn't even gotten up to speed on what is even happening. Oh, no. He's still covered in bandages. And they're like, Jack, figure this out or we're going to kill you. He's like, wait a second.

Like, like, just like give him a little bit of time to catch up here. I loved when he's got the, there's a great, like, there's an introduction to all the ex-spies that are there. And he's like, oh my God, you're this guy. You died in this thing. And oh, my God, you're this guy. And he goes to one guy, oh, my God, you died in Lebanon. And he goes, Beirut actually.

And I'm like, Bayruits in Lebanon. Here's my question. Beirut is a city in Lebanon. Why? Isn't it? You died. Have I lost my mind? No, no.

You are. Yeah. But my question is why does the colony take these guys at a certain point. Like, why did they take Jack Quinn at that particular point? Because he failed. Because he failed his mission. Well, that was his punishment. Oh, I didn't understand that. His punishment for letting Stavros go was going to the island.

They showed that little video before they say, if you want to live, push the button. They show them the video that says, you could have killed Stavros. You didn't. And so your mission was a failure. It's your fault. So now if you want to live, you're going to have to work it off, basically. I would have to see the guy making that video to just, and after effects.

So everybody who's in there has failed at some sort of mission. Yeah, they've all been killed or they've all, quote unquote killed or whatever. I think they've all failed. Yeah, they all failed or they've, yeah, retired. But one guy, they don't justify who put this together though. Oh, no. Yeah. Like, who's in charge?

It's probably the Illuminati, right? But you know, there's that one guy, I forget, like he hates him and you're sort like, oh, of course he, but like why? They never say, it's just like, I don't like you. They used to be bad guys together. No, because Jack Quinn. says, I thought I killed him and blah, blah, blah. So that guy hates

him because Jack Quinn came very close to killing him. Now, now they all are supposed to get along. Now everybody's bros. No, it seems to me like he has been... By the way, there are no lady spies. No. No lady spies. It's like a real sausage fest on this island. And for the most part, no spies under 60.

Yeah, they're all old. They're all old. And they're all like... It looks like a crusty they seem. It looks like you know, like a place where the character from Sexy Beast would be, like, hanging out, like, it's all these, like... Oh, Ben Kings' case or Ray Winston. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, it's just like, it's a Tommy Bahama commercial. They're all just, like, chilling. They're all in leisure wear. It's like, magic hour. It's like, you know, they got loafers on. They're like, oh, let's go solve some crimes. There's one guy, while they're in the Dr. Strangelove room, like, hooked up to all the computers,

like, looking at the footage of a downed plane or something. And there's one guy who's wearing, like, a green-checked golf jacket. I was like, what the fuck is this? Does everybody get to choose their own garbage clothes? Come on. They get to wear whatever they want. They're getting their leisure time.

Now, this is where I'm confusing the timeline because it seems like, all right, he's, he has, this again, an ADR moment. He has failed in the assassination attempt. It has been more than 36 hours. He wakes up on this island. He solves a case. He seems to be on this island for a couple of days. And then you cut to that same rainy night where his wife is like outside. by the pool, she runs in and answers

the phone, it's like, hey, we want to buy your sculpture. And she's like, okay, but you could tell that in the movie. But I don't think it's the same rainy night. I think what it is, is, what I think it was is the ADR the phone conversation, they're like, your husband has been killed. Because she starts bursting out in tears, like

she's crying. And I think they were like, oh, we got to like figure out how to get her to like wrong. Here's the big question. Was there a script? Was there a script, do you think? Or did they just like, oh, we have this location? What do we doing? Because that's the way you're talking about it makes sense. Now you're like, yeah, it doesn't nothing.

No, the things don't add up. I think he was on the colony for months. Yeah. That's what I think too, because he had to be because he was shaving off his fingerprints. Ooh, ooh, ooh, sorry, I can't go back to that. But his face was so emotional. Wait a minute, what? When he was, when he was peeling off his fingerprints.

When he was, I used a razor. Yeah, no. You really had a problem with that, had you? Yes. I couldn't look at it myself. I could not look at that. He takes an exacto knife and cuts off his thumbprint. Yes.

But he has no, if you look at his face, it's completely emotionless. It's just like, bum, bum, bum, bum. He's just like, bum, bum, this doesn't hurt. This doesn't, this is not weird to me at all. I'm just like. And he, he, like, he perfectly, it's, like, in Goodfellas when they're in prison, making them, like, shaving with a razor blade, the garlic. Yeah, yeah, garland, so that it's so thin that it must.

And he does that, too, his thumb, like the thinnest layer of just his thumbprint. It's perfect. I got to just talk about, can I just talk about the fancy hotel room workout? Oh. Oh my God. Like, I was like... That was amazing. This is insane.

Like, it's just like a Pilate cigarette smoking. That is amazing. Whiskey pre-mastribution work. There's like a tub lift. Yeah, the top lift. I was like, ah. I was like, what is this guy doing? It was such a great sequence, though.

I loved all of that. Wait, what? I loved it. You loved the training montage? I love the training montage. The self-training montage. By the way, why did he even need to... I mean, I guess he needs to self-changed.

Oh, okay. I think because he was so injured that he needed. to get himself back in fighting shape. They get him shirtless a lot in this movie too. The thing was he knew he had to get out of there. He was already sort of devising the plan to get out. Well, that's so difficult to get out of there. He realized that he needs to get off the island.

But basically, it wasn't that difficult. All he did was jump off a cliff, swim to the thing, and hold on. That was it. Well, and shave off a fingerprint. Oh, yeah. And then we got to talk about, I mean. I'm very excited if you're bringing up, I'm bringing it. He's swimming underwater because he does.

jumps off this cliff and he's got to swim to this raft to get on the plane, the cargo plane to get out. And the guy who doesn't like him, we talked about before, swims up behind him. How did he know he was a scaping? In full scuba gear. Yeah, full scuba gear. Where the lasers are happening and all that kind of stuff, because there's lasers that prevent you from swimming.

Well, but the lasers have been turned off. A bag. He puts a bag over his head, which would give him air. It would give him air underwater. You don't strangle it underwater, but oh, this is great. Thank you for the air. No, it's like, he's already doesn't have air. So you're giving him more air.

Well, what I thought and realized later I was wrong was what the Upper Krusty British guy tells Van Dam when he gets there is if somebody tries to escape, the guardian is assigned to go and get them. Everybody has a guardian. Again, that would come into play. I mean, we'll get to how it comes to the play. But I immediately thought, oh, his nemesis guy,

the tall blonde Dauph Lundgren guy, must be his guardian. And that's why he's showing up with the scuba. gear and he's going to get him. In fact, not the case. Nope, not at all. That guy just happens to be in the ocean, scuba gear? He would have to know that because there's these lasers. There's lasers there

that prevent you from swimming and they turn it off for that clock when the plane comes so they can get the shipment. But so that guy had to go, all right, I scuba dive for five minutes a day in between laser stuff. When the lasers come, I go down. My recreation. Who was his guardian? The upper crust British guy.

That lock from Raiders. Now, which was awesome, I want to also just bring up, and we'll mention it later when it really comes into play, but Coke definitely was a sponsor of this movie. Oh, you think? Because Coke plays a very pivotal role in the escape, but even a better pivotal role in the finale. And it also plays a role in a fight sequence. Yes, with the cans. Coke is the hero in this film.

Oh, yeah. Coke in Europe, I mean, well, I guess it's true. It's a lot in Europe, I guess. But John Claude Van Dam's character definitely drinks Coke, uses Coke. A lot. And we're not talking about cocaine guys. Coca-Cola. Now he's off the island.

He escapes. They don't really show you how he gets off. Oh, yeah, he gets hold of the plane hostage. Yeah. And then he gets the land. That was the craziest. That escaped, like, it just made no sense. They knew they had to add one more thing of jeopardy, but it just, I think they had

at a certain point. They're like, yeah, I don't care. You know, just put them in gear and have him die this way. Like, and there's no thought. Because now I feel like we're at. maybe halfway through the movie. I don't know for even halfway. Okay, well, I feel like once we get to the end of the colony, that sort of.

Yeah. Yeah. Why is this movie called double team? Wait a second. Hold on. Because he got two guys. There's two and one. Because him and Rodman become like a team up.

And that could be called team up. This is my problem. That happens so late in the movie. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This movie is not a two-hander. It's not.

With Rodman and Van. If it wasn't Rodman, you probably wouldn't, he wouldn't have been on the poster. It really is the, it's only the last 30 minutes of the movie. That they team up. That Rodman and Van Dam are a team. The first hour of the movie is just a Rodman, I mean, is rather a Van Damne, nonsense festival. Well, here's a question. Do you think that they were like, this is going to be really exciting that Dennis Rodman is doing the picture?

And they were like super fired up. We're going to let him wear whatever he wants. He's a three-peat. Everyone loves him. He's a winner. And then they just saw. what kind of actor he was and like, all right, cut him out of this, cut him out of this, and let's just make this in John Claude Van Dan picture because it's like...

No, I think what it is is they were like, we want Dennis Rodman, let's shoehorn him into something. Like there was no way that there was no way there was like a guy named Yaz's. Yeah, there was a script that... Oh, really? Yes, that there was just his journey, Jack Quinn's journey to get his son and whatever and then they shoehorn Rodman in. I think Rodman is so... Because he has no motivation to... to join this. No. Cannot at all.

He does have the family motivation, but that comes after he says, what the hell motivation? Yes. And there's previously, there's the money motivation. Because he's like, this is a picture of my, the sonogram of my baby. But why does Rodman care about that? Because he's like a fucking. He's a respectable dude.

Let me ask you guys this. He's like, why didn't you tell me that first? Yeah. I mean. I just would love to talk about the fact that Dennis Rodman does speak in basketball terms. And they speak to him in basketball terms. As if he is a basketball player. They parachute in a giant basketball.

What was that? They jumped out in his invention. His invention is a basketball parachute. It's his invention that he didn't want to go like Van Dam pushed him down into it. It was like, I don't want to do my own invention. And it's so weird because he's not a basketball player. He's a basketball player who's playing an arms dealer. So why would this guy love basketball references?

No. But so many of his one-liners are like. Like basketball zingers. Here, listen to this one. Oofs, Airball. You need practice, man. I hate practice, but I never miss twice, brother. Then you get in trouble for skipping practice?

That was his whole thing. It's all like inside jokes about him not going to practice. The weird thing, though, about that parachute, the basketball parachute, is that it doesn't actually, it looks like a basketball. But then when it lands, it just... It just kind of opens up like an egg. I thought it was going to bounce. And I was excited about that. And then Jean-Claude Van Dam leaves him in the field.

He's just like, he pushes him down, but they don't work together. He's like, I'll see, go back to Antwerp. As soon as they land, he says, go back to Antwerp. Why push him out of a plane if you're not even going to take them with you? He's like, see you in Antwerp. And he's like, hey. And then this is what I tried. I rewind this scene a few times just because I didn't know what was going on.

I was like, well, where is he? Where is he going? Whose house is this? I was like, is that Stavros's house? He never says. He just, I was like, what? What point is this? It's just, he just goes to a house and he sees a baby.

No, no, that's his house. That's his south of France train house. That was the train house. That was the train house. He was going to see his wife. Wait, that was the train house? Yeah. They blew up.

He thought his wife, he thought she had had the baby all right. No, he thought she would be there because he was trying to figure out what happened. Because Stavros said he had the butterfly. When they're in the colony, there's a terrorism act. And one of the pictures, Van Dam, Zumes in on. And Stavros has left him a message spray painted on the wall. It says, Q, I have your butterfly. But Van Am doesn't say anything to anybody, and that's what prompted him to escape.

Which, by the way, is a giant, like, that's a very elaborate plan that he's going to graffiti on one wall. Why does Stavros think he's still alive? Stavros knows he's in the colony? That makes no sense. Is that real? He never says anything about that. And how does Yaz know about the colony? Because he's like, when he meets up with Stavros and talks about his kids, I mean, he meets with with Yaz, yes, he's like, I don't know.

even believe in the colony. It's like, well, how do you even know about the colony? It doesn't make sense. Like, why are you bringing it up? Like, no one asked you. No one asked you about the colony. Yes. Well, so he goes to the house, though, to see if his wife is still there. I guess that makes sense because I was like, what baby is this? That's what I thought to do. Because his baby wasn't born, but I guess that makes sense. But that was an elaborate plan. And that crazy nanny? That was scary. He really is? He doesn't want to shoot that woman who is just straight up shooting at him. She set up a bomb to kill him and then she shoots at him and then she stops shooting on him for a while. Remember he

like shoots the other guys and then it's like nothing's happening and then he gets shot at again like she would stop shooting. Here's the deal. Like when people are shooting at you like even if it's a woman you're allowed to shoot her. Yeah. She's a, she's paid. James Bond has done it. And not only that, but she looks like a zombie.

She weirdly looked like she was in like some sort of like hypnotic state. And what's the deal with? Right. Why? I mean she was in shock from the explosion. Yeah. Oh. But it wasn't just her, like I know what you're saying, like she looked a little charred, but her eyes, she was like playing a little charred. She was slightly singed.

How about the grenade that goes in a pool and all of a sudden it's the biggest explosion you've ever seen? Out of a pool. Out of a pool. There are no fewer than 15 grenades thrown in this movie. And depending on the location, they either make a very small explosion or like a Hiroshima level. close. Yeah, that one in the hospital, like, took up a whole hallway. And it's just like, it's a grenade.

Go, pop, you know? Oh, it's so bananas. Can we talk about when Jean-Claude Van Dam goes undercover as like Jean Dvade? When he goes like, he dresses like Robert Smith. Oh. That was amazing. Yeah. And, you know, because he's sitting with all those goth people and he's got this, like,

this frizzy, like, a carrot top wig and these round sunglasses, like, he's got a boombox on his shoulder. Like, I am just cool guy. Jean-Claude Van Gogh. And with Dennis Rodman in a zoot suit kind of like, like, I don't know. He looks like when the fox in Warner Brothers cartoons gets dressed up to go out. How about when they steal a mini and Dennis Rodman's head sticks out the top? Like a Mr. Bean cartoon or, not cartoon.

Mr. Bean thing. Can we? Yeah. What was that about? That was just like, they're just having a good time on set, I think. Like, let's just play. There's something. that whole setup in the park in Rome when like, because it's like every agent is going to be there.

That way they set that up, he's like, what is your plan? And Jean-Claude Van Damme says, I have no idea. But I'm going to let Stavros do what he thinks that I'll do. And then I will be there when he does it. But it's like the most vague. It's like a kid trying to get out of really trouble. Okay. So then Van Dam.

He says, are you going to send him an email message? Yes. And then he does on that device. whatever that was, and then it says on the top, it says on the top of it, facts. But now, wait, here's the other thing, too. Again, John Claude Vanden, we've seen him not take the shot when he has the shot.

We've seen him accidentally launch a grenade. He's touching too many things. And now we see him, see his wife, and the only thing he needs to do is not make a giant scene to go, my wife, my wife, and run across the square and blow the entire mission. And he does that.

Like, why? Why? Why? Because he's just so emotional, I guess. His wife is giving birth. Who was the man on horseback shooting a machine gun? Made no sense. Who in like, in some sort of like period garb? Who was that man?

A police officer? Yeah, but it was impossible to figure out who anybody was and who they work for. Everyone was just shooting at anyone. You're like, is that a bad guy? Is that a bad guy? It was never clear to me who were good guys and who were bad guys. One of the good guys were girls who were shot in the back. You know, they were like, oh, that poor person.

Yeah, and the bridal party. Yeah. And we've never, now, so far, we're back in the movie. We're not, we're not even engaging in the idea that he's being hunted down by his guy who was trying to kill him from the colony. Like, that is not really. But that's barely present. But that's what I'm saying, like, you would think that that would be the- Oh, right. That only comes back at the very end.

That's what I'm saying. You would think that that would be a motivator throughout the second actor or whatever. That would be great. That would be great. The guy found. And, you know, the guy don't follow him, but he doesn't do anything. No. He just sort of like follows him.

He goes, there he is. Until they, until they, spoiler alert, blow up the Coliseum. Right. Then he's there to be like. Well, okay. So even, get out of here. That's what it says.

Get out of here. This is my big problem. So I'm not sure when this happens, but he somehow gets to the hotel that his wife had been staying at or under Stavros's watch. And he finds a label. Prescription bottle. Prescription bottle. No, it's not a bottle.

It's a label that's on a window. It's on a mirror. It's a label that's stuck on a mirror that says potassium. Right. So I guess this is what I was trying to understand. Did they do that on purpose to draw him out to the hospital? I'm assuming. No, but they had to put it there.

But they also had to figure out what hospital had given women pitocin in the last, like. Oh, but who did they go to figure that out? Oh, the brothers, right? Cybermunks. Cybermunks. Cybermunks in, like, when you're watching, when you're watching, when you buy, it on iTunes and are watching it, all the little chapters are titled. Yeah.

This chapter is titled Cyber Bunk. Well, I wish it was type, I wish it was Cyber Brothers because the entire time Dennis Robbins is like, my brothers are going to help us out. My brothers, my brothers. And then you realize they actually are brothers, like Franciscan brothers. And they learn how to fist bump. That's the cutest thing. They learn how the fist bump.

And then he says, we use the internet. And Dan's Robin like rolls his eyes like, isn't this crazy to use the internet? And by the way, their internet setup is akin to like the Adam West Batman computer setup. It is giant and it is just massive. How about just before we continue on with Cybermarks, when he finds the Potosin label,

he then gets into a fight with a gentleman who has a switchblade in his foot? Yeah. Yes. That's how he just holds a switchblade with his foot. I couldn't figure that out for the life to me. Like you've got a switchblade. Cool, man. Use it in your hand. And he jumps out of his shoes.

Yes. And then his shoes go crazy and John on Van Am, it's like, what the hell? And then he goes, so he had it in his shoe, holding it in his shoe in his thing. That's very uncomfortable. But that's also a James Bond thing, because James Bond used to fight a woman who had a dagger in her shoe, and she would...

In the shoe, I get. This was, he was holding a switchblade between his toes. Right, yeah, yeah. I mean, I guess we're to understand that he's better with a switchblade by foot. You know what? I don't know that that's true. I don't know that that's possible.

But again, who made that decision? Dead silence. Someone had to go, you need to hold this in between your feet. I bet it was the stuntman who was like, you know what I can actually do? Put this in between my feet? I could put this in my feet. And the director's like, yeah, fuck it, let's do it. And then the other thing that was strange about it was,

there's a guy in the hallway who has an El Mariachi-style suitcase gun. Yes. Then I was like, this is already been done, fella. Like, we already, we've already seen El Maraci. Well, no, not at this point. Yeah. And then he shoot, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so. El Mariachi's got to be.

And then he shoots every day and then the bellboy downstairs looks up and then he goes, I'm going to call the police. He goes, is, are you sure? Is there something like, you're sure? He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just going to call the police. Yeah. It's just like so casual and no police come. My question is, so his wife is with, has been given Potosin to induce labor.

To induce labor and on her due date. That's the big thing. Is Mickey Worker? take the baby and then immediately kill it? Is that what we are led to believe? I think. Or just take it as his own. See, this is the thing about Mickey Rourke's motivation.

A part of me thought he may take this baby because he wants a son. Oh, I think he's just using the baby as bait to draw out. I agree. He's going to kill Van Dam. Like, he wants, I think he ultimately wants to kill the baby and make Van Dam know the feeling he feels. Even though Van Dam didn't kill his son. He blames Van Dam for the death of his son.

He doesn't give a Van Dam. What? Oh, boy. So there's a doctor. I can't believe it took us this long. There's a doctor who's taking care of Van Dam's wife. A lady doctor, which. A lady doctor.

In the 90s is almost unheard of. Sure. Who for some reason becomes a good guy. Yeah, I couldn't. I couldn't figure that out either. I couldn't figure out if she was like in on it or she was like a real doctor. because it's so vague. And I was just like, what is, what is going on?

Is she in good hands? Is she not in good hands? There's so many. Ultimately, she was in good hands with her. His plan, Stavros's plan is terrible. You know, like, there's so much, there's so many, like, completely circumstantial and coincidental things that have to happen in order for it to actually come to fruition. Like, right after this, when he takes off with the baby Van Damme, catches up with his wife,

the doctor turns nice and saves the wife's, life, but then Van Dam chases him to the Coliseum. And in the Coliseum, Stavre, Mickey Rourke's setup is there's a man versus tiger fight. He's going to say to Van Dam, you have to fight this tiger, but there's a minefield. So the floor of the Coliseum is a minefield and you're going to fight this tiger. Now, if you're Starvros, can't you assume the tiger's going to step on a mine? The tiger doesn't know to avoid the mine. Tiger is the one that kind of let him.

Oh, I agree. I know that. The tiger is very smart. The tiger, I didn't even think about that. The tiger would have no idea where a mine is. It doesn't matter. The tiger could very easily have been like, walk, walk, walk, explode. Okay, that's over.

Well, how did Dennis Rodman move the explosives without blowing him? He didn't move the explosives. He just moved the little markers. But he also, here's the thing, too. Like, at the end, spoiler alert, that the whole one mine will explode the whole calcium. Yes. So Mickey Rourke by being there would die anyway if... That's a really good point.

The crazy thing is, I was waiting and I don't want to give away the ending way down. No, please. Let's stay. We're here. We're there. But it really is like, I was waiting for him to, like, Van Damme, it starts, the movie starts off. He's so happy with his wife and his child.

And like, or that he's expecting a child. Then at the end, it's really like, goodbye, hey, Robman, take care of the, yes, take care of them. See it. And he never reconnects with his wife and kid. That's the last you see of them. That was the whole driving force. The one thing he would love to.

Yeah. That he wanted to do more. or anything else and he's like, all right, I'll see you later. And then it just ends with, like, Rodman with a burning Coliseum. They're probably going to blame me for this. Yeah. Oh, my God. He goes, they're probably going to blame me for this one, too. Like, two?

Like, what did they blame me for before? For all the... Because he's this former... He also... Also, Rodman says to the colony guy, well, I guess it's my turn to disappear. And I thought that was Robin being, like, take me to the colony. Yeah. And the guy's just like, ha-ha, and drives off.

Yeah. He goes, smoke screen and he throws down his coin. What was that about? Okay, I want to understand this. So, Upper Crest British guy has a gun pointed at Van Dam. Yes. And he is the guardian. Right. And then, but he says, I want a lock of your hair and your shirt.

Yes. Is that because he wants to bring it back to the colony and go, I killed him. Okay, that's what he wants, right? Then why does Rodman throw the smoke grenade? Because he seems like he was going to let him go, right? Yeah. Yeah. But here's the problem with the, the, um, the lock of hair and the shirt. At the colony, they seem to have video feed on every inch of the world.

And he already connected when he was with the cyber monks. He already connected with them and said, thanks for looking out. Yeah. Love Jimmy or whatever. And then they smile each other like, yeah, he's a good guy. Like, wait, no one's planning on killing him. They're like helping him.

Yeah, the colony appears to be helping him except for the guardian. Well, maybe the guardian is really helping him. This is the weird thing about the country. colony, you know, it seems like for some people, it's a retirement community where they never want to leave and would never try to escape. Right, right. And then for others, I think if you go to the colony

before your retirement age, it's a really tough place. But if you are You're ready to be retired. But yeah, if you're like over 60, then like, why not stay there? They eat well, they're probably getting really nice dinner. They've got a pool. They've got a pool, they got drinks. The weather seems great.

Permanent Club Med. Let me talk about one thing before we, and we've got to wrap it up, but one thing that we got to talk about when the Coliseum is exploding. The baby, Dennis Robman, and John Claude Van Dam are all saved by a coke machine. Yes, several. They hide behind a Coke machine. It's the original, yeah, you're going to say, it's the original nuking the fridge. Exactly.

It's the same move as Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull getting, yeah. It was the, I was just like, this is so crazy. And here's something else. The baby's not crying. I've got to tell you, I have three kids. If I take a shit too loud, the baby's cries. You know, it's just like, that baby would be crying. Hey, man, you've got to quiet those shit's time.

It's crazy. If they take a Moses. I take a gyro poop. Is it the noise you're making with your mouth or with your ass that's so loud? It's really both. I try to harmonize. But it really, like, a kid, I do have to pee sitting down or I'm going to wake my baby. And it's so annoying.

And this baby is just like so mellow as flames, hot. I mean, the baby was shoved inside a brick wall. at one point. And the tiger almost eats the baby at one point. Yes. Van Dam Karate kicks that tiger. That looked pretty good actually.

That was amazing. By the way, this is the movie that I always want to see. Tigers have been kicked. People have been shot in the back. Children are assassinated. I mean, there was nobody on set going,

maybe we should hold off on shooting the women. We shouldn't kill the kids. This is crazy. I'll tell you what. When the tiger tipped off Mickey Rourke as to the location of Van Dam, that's when I was like, this movie is on a whole other level.

Listen to this Mickey Rourke monologue. I'm going to give you a chance to save your son. If you live today, you'll get to know your son. And if you don't, Grayson's my own. You know men are strong, Jack, but the tiger stronger. I mean, that's basically his Oscar moment in any respects. His Oscar moment during the point of his career, when he has to be in movies like this.

Yeah. Well, you know what? I got to say, when he realizes he's standing on that mind and he starts to, like, cry, like, he actually is playing that scene really well. Like, his face, he's really doing it.

And you know, like, Mickey's like, yeah, I'm doing this stupid movie. I just got to do it for money and on whatever. And it's just like, but he's also trying. He's trying to work. By the way, he did do a serious martial arts regimen to have the physical appearance in the film in preparation for the fights.

Oh, I don't doubt it. He looked great. Obviously, we had opinions about this movie. but there are other people who thought differently. So now it's time for second opinions. That's right. These are five-star reviews cold from Amazon. Five-star reviews of Double Team.

Now, very rarely do we run into this problem where there are not many. There were only four, and I picked the best, too, because even the four weren't even that good. I'll read the first one to you guys. This is from a review just by a customer. That's what happens when people don't foot their full name in. I've seen most action films made in Hollywood since 80,

but I've never seen one like this before. This film is an incredible miracle work. Intriguing plot, beautiful fight scenes, various camera works. Whether you're an action fan or not, you have to see this movie. I give it a six out of five. The first time you've had a six. Six out of five. Wow.

Well, it seems to work for that movie that is six out of five because that makes no sense. So it works perfectly for that movie. What does various camera works mean? I think that the fact that they loaded the camera correctly, maybe. They had very various camera angles. That's it. And I also like that he's seen most action films since 80. This is the one that goes down into me the history of the most confounding five-star review.

Now, that was a six-star review. This is a five-star review. from April 11th, 1999. So it was not made recently. Yes, it was very nice and cool. But my parents... I'm going to read it again. Sorry. Yes, it was very nice and cool.

But my parents have a small house in the country. My dog has never seen to England. And I like videos and music. See you on Monday. Yours sincerely, John Romansky. Wow, he's not even talking about the movie. Five-star review for Double Team. What has happened that this happened?

It's almost like he accidentally responded to an email or a Facebook post in an Amazon review. Yes, it was very nice and cool, but my parents have a small house in the country. My dog has never seen to England. I like videos and music. What is this mean? I don't even understand. I think he had like a couple websites going at the same time, like a couple pages up. Yeah.

One Monday. It was a cut and paste mistake. I really feel, or this is the person who wrote the additional dialogue recording for Double Team, you know? This was amazing. I'm very excited that we all got to talk about this. Big thank you to our very special guest, Owen Burke. Thank you. Can I just say who the big winner is in Double Team?

I wish I thought of this earlier and maybe, I don't know. The big winner for Double Team for me is are the guys who worked in the studio where they did the ADR? Like the overtime that these guys got. Well, hey, you know what? We can only see half of his face here. We can put in a whole paragraph right here. They really did. If you really watch it, they did.

Most of the dialogue is done in ADR. Even when you see their mouths moving, it's all dubbed. Like these guys put their kids through college. The kids got braces. They got summer homes. They got that boat they always wanted. All from the ADR of this movie. I 100% agree with you because also here's a thing.

The ADR in this movie is all plot. So I don't. know what plot they actually shot. I feel like they just shot set pieces. But that being said, would you recommend this movie? I 100% say, rent this, you will enjoy the hell out of it. I think it's very watchable and enjoyable.

Yeah. It's very fun. It's like, you know that turn in a David Lynch movie where he changes realities? Like in Lost Highway, you're following one group of people than another. A Mohawk drive, you're following one group of people then another.

This is like that turn, that split second turn, that's the whole movie. You're just like, I don't know where I'm going with this. But you are in for the ride. Thank you guys. Big thank you to Owen Burke. You can listen to his podcast. Owen and TJ Read the News right here on Earwolf.

It's super hilarious. Well, thank you so much for having me. I'm a huge fan of the show. Amazing guest. Having me. Thank you. We can follow you on Twitter at Owen Burke. I don't know.

That was it. Yeah, that was it. Yeah, that was it. It's at Owen Burke, right? Yeah. Jason, what do you got? Hashtag. Owen Burke.

Hashtag, prematurely gray. I'll say it again. Go see Ride Along. Oh, yeah. Yeah, congratulations. I love that. Thanks.

Congratulations. I really enjoyed my in-theater experience in that. June, what do you got? My Twitter feed handle is at Miss June Diane. And you have something on Red Box, don't you? Oh, yeah. Asbackwards available on Red Box. Fantastic movie.

And, of course, just another reminder. You can get my comic book, Aliens versus Parker, at Amazon. dot com. Just type in Aliens versus Parker. That's easy. Or my name. You can find it.

It's a cool comic book. I think it's funny. People like it. And I think you will too. You can also get it in your local comic book shop. Support independent comic bookshops. They're the best.

And a big thanks to our engineer, Cody. Thank you very much. Cody. Thank you to all the people that help this show every single week. I'm talking about people like Averallie who pulled all of our clips. Nate Kylie, who does all of our research.

I'm talking about Leanna Waldron who does all of our amazing design and of course Katie Dyer, who does our How to Disket made social media profiles. Oh my God, she's awesome. Thank you guys so much and we'll see you next time. Bye.