How Did This Get Made? - Dungeons & Dragons LIVE!

Episode Date: December 29, 2023

Audience member turned fourth host Morgan Vierling (HDTGM's Dungeons & Dragons Episode) helps Paul, June, & Jason break down 2000's Dungeons & Dragons starring Jeremy Irons, Thora Birch, Marlon Wayans, and Justin Whalin. LIVE from the Miller Theater in Philly, the crew discuss Snails' meaningless death, if priests could do magic, peeping imps, Lipstick Man's connection to the movie "Switch", and so much more. #JusticeForSnails This March & April HDTGM is going on tour to the UK & Ireland! Go to hdtgm.com for tix and info.Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerCheck out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter

A movie that takes the worst parts of the Phantom Menace. And the CGI skills of a YouTuber, circa 2000. We saw Dungeons and Dragons. So you know what, that means... I'm so sorry Just to suck a bunch of online for different reasons We shot the shit in front of them, we can't be standing alive They call me when they're bad ass and he's on the line Prinking at you, you're the biggest cause they cool in the sights Cause they're bad, you're funny looking kind of night All the shit you get in love with, we'll chase him, he's getting late

Don't let me show out, I'm on your shots in the pain There's just a bunch of movies, why they make him in the grave There's a real question for you, how it in the grave There's a real question on the out of this kid, man Hello, people of us! Hello, people of Philadelphia! Cheers! We are back in Philadelphia with yet another dragon film. This one, Dungeons and Dragons.

It has it all. Dungeons, check, dragons, check, plot, question mark. It's normally a part of the show where I like to break down what this movie is about. For those who have not seen it, I tried. I wrote a couple things. I reround the movie. I read a couple of things. I reround the movie. I read a Wikipedia page. And I don't think I got it, but I'll try. The battle for the soul of Ismir is at stake.

As Thoraburch wants to let people be equal and control gold dragons, but Jeremy Irons wants to keep the gold dragons and also control red ones. Chaos ensues, that is the pot that I know of this movie. Came out in 2000, it's an hour and 47 minutes, it took 23 years for someone to try this movie again. This was a colossal flop. It is a rough movie saved by one person. Jeremy fucking Ion. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Jeremy Ion's who said, I only took this gig for the money, and the amount of time I had to be on set, which was not a lot. The rest, we will break it down, and I'm going to break it down with my two co-hosts. Please welcome to this stage, Mr. Jason Madzoukas. What's up, jerks? What's up, Philly? How we doing?

That's right. I watched this movie in the car on the way here. I don't know what the fuck it was about. This yikes. This was yikes, T to B. This was truly one that I could not wrap my head around. I kept it a winding to be like, I must have missed a very important thing here.

And I'm gonna be honest, June and I were just speaking backstage, we don't know who most of the people there are. I don't know who most of those people are, including the guy in the blue sweater. I will say that looking at that image, I think two of those people are not in this movie. I googled Dungeons & Dragons without seeing the film. I know they're not from the new one. Honest to God! Who is the guy? I would have remembered a guy with a jewel in the middle of his head.

Not in this film, but if you know, we will come to you. We got it, we got it, we got it, bring it, we got it, because June and I were already so deep into this. Well, don't, no. June, I am raping him. Yeah. Welcome, June. And you better believe. Go ahead. Yeah, so Paul Jason, I were backstage And you better believe. You're okay.

Yeah, so Paul Jason, I were backstage and I did also just complete this movie. I mean, we're fresh. Fresh. Fresh. So am I. I was watching it backstage as well. Okay. You're not part of the crew.

And for a second, I thought the guy with the jeweled head was Dumbledore. Dumbledore? Dumbledore? Dumbledore? Dunkirk? Yes. You thought that guy might have made that. I thought that that was one of our main bat, Dabogog? Oh, Dabogog?

If you quizzed me on every character's name. These me. I know snails and no one else Justice for snails Let him win Let him get the girl let him get the treasure justice for justice is her snail. I will say that science is All right, peace now all right. He we so Paul so Paul when you make these Science says. RIP now. RIP. We stand up at the same time. So Paul, when you make these slides,

when you make these images, you're really just Google image searching and hoping for the best. Well, most of the time I am aware. And I had the guy with the purple lips, but it was a low-ray shot. Now, I look at it from the big screen. Can I ask you a quick question about lipstick? Yeah.

Is that the guy from the mummy? No, it is not. He looks like, oh, like his name is like Arnold. It's close though, right? Very similar look, except with lipstick. Yes. So I kept writing in my notes the mummy. So if I say that again, that's the only reason.

So Paul, you would prefer a high-res image of people who aren't in the movie to a low-res image of the actual character. You better believe. I would know what this fucking movie was about if there was someone in a tube top in the movie. Okay, so you can see. I'd be at all a tube top in the movie. OK, so you can see. I feel all about a tube top. I googled Dungeons and Dragons, and this is a tricky one

because there is another movie called Dungeons and Dragons on our own. It looks better. Well, it has these two in it. Well, so I pulled up Dungeons and Dragons, and look, I'm watching these movies with you all. So I pulled it up, and I was like, OK,, well this is Jeremy Irons, he's in it, and I know that, and this picture is of this couple here,

and I was like, well they're clearly in it, and now I'm looking. I'm curious, can you go for you, dude? Can anybody name what movie these two characters are from? They look familiar, I will say. Okay, so that's a no. It is from the Rotten Tomatoes page for Dungeons and Dragons 2000. So I was correct in that.

Maybe they were in a deleted scene. Wow. You really elevated them. Well, those two people are somewhere cashing cheques because of this. Well, I'm, I mean, Those two people are somewhere cashing checks because of this. Well, I'm, I mean, Jason and I were just in the wings and I was really like, am I having some sort of a medical event? So yes, I picked the wrong images, but that's just because I don't want to wreck the movie.

I'm building assets for this movie months ahead of time, making sure that we bring the best of the best to Philly, and sometimes I make a mistake. Listen, you are standing in feedback so courageously and vulnerably, and I appreciate it. I do think, and I don't want to whip this out at the top of the show, this might be from the made for TV sequel.

Okay, what time I am now. I am more interested in. I'll be honest. There's a sequel. There is a made for TV sequel. A series or a movie? A movie or sequel with none of the characters returning, which is a gameplay. I'm okay with that. Yes.

Hard to call it a sequel when you don't bring anyone back. No, I'm just wondering, just so I know where to steer the conversation and just so we can have a little context, have either of you played Dungeons and Dragons? That was something that really was not offered to me as a child. I understand Dungeons and Dragons, I can speak to it now, but I was never, I never played it. I have, I don't think I ever have even as an adult played it, but I understand it.

I feel like, how do you understand it? I feel like, how do you understand it? June, I feel like you don't believe him. I guess I just like, you're waiting for it to be offered to you. Well, yeah, because a lot of people say, like, oh, yeah, there was a love for it. Come over. No one played Dungeons and Dragons.

I did go to Catholic school, so it might have been illegal. Yeah, it might have been like the occult. You know what I mean, Jason? I did not. I never played Dungeons and Dragons either. The closest I came was the non-Dungeons and Dragons game that they play on Harmon Quest Which is I did that which is a which is a a similar type thing But obviously very different. It's for a TV show blah blah blah

Right so my real only experience is in that but I too have now as as People who've been improvising for 25 years, how many times have you been in a Dungeons & Dragons scene? It's my greatest fear. So, just through context, Clues, I've picked up a bunch of specifics from Dungeons & Dragons scenes. Well, I would say, Jean, we could cut this out if you want, but you would say that your greatest fear in improvising was that people would hit you with a Star Wars or Dungeons and Dragons

wrap it up right out of the gate. Yes, so I'd be forced into those scenes. It's kind of why I stopped doing it. I think you'd make a great padawan. Here's the thing. I don't know whether to be heard or happy. This movie opens up with, and I did watch it twice, 45 seconds of exposition over steamy, murky, hooray.

I would even say the first 45 minutes are exposition. Like, people are in scenes giving full more dumps and specific dumps that are just like, people are in scenes giving full-lord dumps and specific dumps that are just like, I felt like this movie was dumping on me the whole time. I mean, it was so hard to understand. I went back and watched a few of those dumps and I was like, what am I missing here? Because, from, okay, so I know nothing about vengeance and dragons. But now... I don't think the movie does either. To me, okay, so I know nothing about Dungeons & Dragons.

But now... I don't think the movie does either. To be, I mean, even what limited knowledge I have of Dungeons & Dragons, and having seen what I believe to be a very successful version of it, which is this last year's version, Dungeons & Dragons. I'd love to see it. I'd love to see that.

This is not, this is, doesn't seem to be Dungeons & Dragons. But when you're playing audience, Dungeons and Dragons, are you elect an expert from the audience? I would really love to know. Is there a D&D expert who if we need help, we can go to you for just un-dulterated facts. Oh right there. Center, you got it. All right, can you make your way down here just in case because we want to make sure? Yeah, just get, we need to make sure we need you closer

Sir what's your name Morgan Morgan give it up for Morgan Thank you Morgan Morgan Morgan Morgan Now wasn't the Jonathan Livingston Segal expert also named Morgan You know now How many people were he we're at Jonathan Livingston Segal? in Seagull expert also named Morgan, you know them. Wow. How many people were at John at the Livingston Seagull? Okay. I am letting Morgan hold the mic because I trust a DM.

I trust a Dungeons and Dragons person with the mic. They understand their role. This is respect. This is respect. Okay. So Morgan, can I ask a question, please? So when you're playing, you just said I trusted DM. Is that a dungeon master?

Yes. Wow. OK, nerd. OK. All right. So Morgan, when most people start playing dungeons and dragons, are they commoners without magical powers? No, because that's not very fun to play

and we play for escapeism. So Morgan, so everybody has like an archetype, right? Like an elf or a dwarf or a, I don't know, a mage. Mage? Yeah, so depending on like which year you're talking about for this game, that you're like an elf or a dwarf or a human, but you're also like a fighting guy or a magic guy

or a priest who's also magic and stuff like that. Well, no Morgan, I want to ask you a question about this because priests would really be out of control if they could do magic. These motherfuckers, Goddamn. Can you imagine if they could do magic? The magic that they do do is getting away with it. I know I've talked about it a handful of times, but I went to a school with Franciscan brothers,

and they would make candy come out from behind our ears. And then make us reach inside other pockets to get more candy. No, what? No! Lock them up! What are you talking about? At the time, a jolly rancher was worth it.

I don't hear the deal. I don't think priests should be allowed to buy candy. If they are allowed, they have to eat it in front of the person they bought it from. Now Morgan, I will ask this because this is the thought I had and this is more of a macro thought about the movie, which is D&D, a campaign is an ensemble effort. And this movie is really about one person, right? Like the idea being like, everybody adds to the adventure. Everyone has something to do.

And this movie, many people have nothing to do. Yeah, you're absolutely right. Like even the people who are in the party are just kind of randomly picked up along the way, whereas it's supposed to be more of a collaborative thing where there's no real star of the show. Yeah. Right.

And also, like, this fails on both, like, I feel like a D&D, like everybody's in a group trying to do the thing together. It also fails. It keeps trying to make itself seem as though it's Lord of the Rings and it fails as a fellowship as well. And now let me ask you one more question. This is probably the nerdy's question I'll have. Talk to me about dragons in Dungeons and Dragons. Like what are dragons? I understand that. What are dragons? But I'm asking this because I think Morgan knows what I'm going for. Dragons in this movie seem to be the equivalent of a Mac truck. We can drive them into things.

But in Dungeons and Dragons, dragons are different, right? Yeah, so this movie definitely went for more of a Game of Thrones feel to their dragons, but in Dungeons and Dragons, their dragons are like intelligent creatures. They're very like proud and vain and they have like treasure hordes and some of them are evil and some of them are good and for some reason the good ones are named after crans in the box and the, sorry, the bad ones are crans in the box and the good ones are metallic. Yeah. And gold.

Okay, so, okay, this is so- By the way, so helpful. He'll help me get more gold. This is so helpful. He'll help me get more gold. Now, can I ask? I just going to be, yeah, it's just like- Oh, yeah, it's so-

We didn't promise this chant. This is an organic chant. You know what? You could take out your phones and think a picture of Morgan. Yeah. Yeah. How did this go? How did this go?

How did this go? How did this go? I'm going to just be brave, Paul. And I'm going to ask a question I have. I didn't feel that there were many dungeons in this movie. There were a couple actually. Even the first scene once they get past the swirling mists where they have the weird laboratory, that was essentially a dungeon in so far as you know.

Dungeons go. Maybe I don't really know what a dungeon is. It's below the castle. It's like a basement, a the castle. It's like a basement A castle like the prison where they get tossed in prison a couple times that we would be in the more I felt we were outside a lot. I felt like the movie literally was like in the first scene We will show you dungeon and dragon and We are like and now we can move forward and now we can be forward until the end where there's more dragons.

Out of curiosity, Morgan. FAD and D, I'm assuming fans and childhood question mark is pretty much. Did you have feelings on this specific movie when it came out? Great question Jason. Thank you June. Yeah, were you excited about it? I thought I'd excited about it. Yeah, that was a great question. I'm vain like a dragon. Oh, magenta manzooka with my heart of treasure and gold like smalg. Smalg is actually a great example of like, what the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan?

What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan?

What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan?

What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan? What the hell Morgan? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? are actually like. I did not see this movie as a child actually, probably because my parents shielded me from it. I wasn't even aware until it was announced for this that this was a movie. Oh wow, okay, there we go. And how did you feel about it just in general? Do you have thoughts? It was so bad. Yeah, Morgan gets it. The rest of you fucking idiots don't. I hate it. Yeah, so, okay, and then I will let you go, I think.

Or maybe you have to pull up another chair. Have a fourth chair. But, but when you're a player in the game, can, like, could I sign, like, could I join as a dragon or I'd be a thief or I'd be an elf? You could join as a dragon or I'd be a thief or I'd be an elf? You could join as a dragon at certain tables. Got it.

You said enough. I'm not welcome everywhere. It's not a default assumption that you can do that. Let me say this. If you're inviting me to play your D&D game, I'd better be able to be a goddamn cheque. If you want to play in my D&D game, you can be a goddamn cheque. I'm in. Wow. Wow. I don't think I can, though.

Here's what I'm going to say. I want to let Morgan get back to his seat. Where is your seat, Morgan, you far away? I'm in there. Okay, can we let Morgan take the mic with him, but kill the sound? In case we need him to pipe up, he can stay at his chair. Yeah, all right.

Take him out. You can do it. Wow, okay. Thank you Morgan. Give it up for Morgan! A villain, they'll be a hero! Good Morgan. But the Eagles long live Morgan! All right, so Morgan has sent us straight that we don't need to really know Dungeons & Dragons, this movie makes no sense on its own. So what I will say is this, amazing, because the movie opens with Jeremy Irons, shot out

of a cannon. I want to just go to clip two, this is right when it starts. He's giving a 10 plus and there he is. Oh, he didn't even know another way. Oh, he hasn't, he's doing it with his eyes. Jeremy Iance is unhinged in this room. Yes, I love that. And I was here for every second.

Yes, me too. Check out clip two, just a little clip of how we introduce Jeremy. the I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run Follow me. I shall follow me! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Wow!

And just so you know, Wow. And just so you know, he's not acting against a real dragon. That's all CGI. What? This movie did other than Jeremy Irons. The aforementioned Jeremy Irons did amazing. Nobody any favors. I would argue.

Even the leader of the Crimson guard Where do they I can't remember what they're called in guard lipstick? They you've got this big imposing guy and they're giving him like metallic lipstick that just like radio It's like we I couldn't I was like you're really hurting his performance right now. I did I thought he was amazing actually Oh, yes, I did I thought that his portrayal of the parasite entering his body and moving it was. The earworm, which by the way, why did they even need an earworm for him?

Because he was already doing the work. It didn't seem like he was doing anything not. Like he was on target. You're right. I thought I thought, because he says a few times during the movie that he actually doesn't want through a birch to, like he doesn't disagree with her thesis that everybody's equal.

And I was like, oh, this is going to be a great turn for Blue Lipstick, where he's going to see that he sides with her at one point. But he never does. He never does. He gets the parasite out and then just continues to want to kill her. There is something interesting about Thor a Birch, which I don't know. I believe that the Phantom Menace came out in 1999. And this movie does feel like she is doing an impression

of Princess Amadala from that movie. Like she's always in front of a Senate. Like that's the most fun of dungeons and dragons. Like on appeal to all the governors of this area. And I thought one of those guys had a Philly accent. One guy was like, you got the consequences of your actions there. I can't do a great Philly accent, but there was something about it. I don't know what era anyone is in because clearly...

I did hear that one of the council members say, water. You could give everybody a warder. Can I? Can I? Just for a brief moment. Side track has for a- Please. A second. Do I suspect blow your mind?

Okay. Lipstick. Yes. The man in this movie that we just watched all of. I thought he was wonderful. Fantastic. Play the devil in switch From Monday show

In Boston what he's the devil in the movie switch No no no no no no no no No, no, no, no! No! No! You know, you've got long hair. You've got an accent in the other movie. I don't know. Who knows?

I was really bugging me how familiar he was. I swore it was like I found the money. He was familiar too. And then I was like, no, no, no. And then I just looked it up. And I was like, there was a picture of him in something else with hair. And I was like, wait a minute.

And it was Switch from Boston mere nights ago. Our lives are imploding. There he is. Wow. Oh my God. That is him. And that's a scene that's not even in Switch, but that's the lead it's seen from Switch.

Wow. And we couldn't even, you couldn't even It's not even in Switch, but that's the lead it's seen from Switch. That's the movie Switch. Wow, I mean, you couldn't even be bothered, Paul, to get his photo up on the screen. Bruce Payne! Bruce Payne! And how did this get made 2023 tour specific All-Star? This is the Easter Eggs that Aero-Priestora has. I'm stunned right now. Wow. Wow.

Wow. I mean, this is a wow. I think that's the end of the show. I don't know that I can go on. It's time for me to do my cartwheels. I mean, I don't know that I can go on. I'm for me to do my cartwheels. Wow, wow, wow.

Wow. Sorry to digress, but that really was shocking. Well, this is what I was thinking though. This movie is really totally hard to watch. Because it's hard, and I'll put this loosely, Shakespearean, it's like, you know, actory and big and grand. And then the other side is like Disney Channel. Like to a point

where I'm like this character, the main character, the one that we're following, Ridley looks like he got his clothes and I wrote it down as from Abercrombie in which. He's wearing a straight up hand. He's wearing a straight up hand. Him and Marlon Wayne, they literally say at one point, where are the cleaning crew? The cleaning crew? Is that even a thing in done? Is that even a good excuse?

They seem like they might just not be there from 2000. Clearly, yeah, and it's so hard because I kept on about trying to like ground myself in the plot, and that was a fool, they were just gonna say. It was really, it's quicksand, just like snails happen. Just like that quicksand carpet. I felt like snails goes into a pizza.

Like I was like, is it oatmeal? Is it pizza? He just, and then I started to. I would love it if snails open to pizza place. And the box cover was him getting sucked into a pizza. I also think that Dungeons and Dragons honor among thieves, which I love, pokes fun at this movie by doing a lot of the things that this movie does way better.

Like someone falls into the floor. They say honor among thieves. There are a handful of big similarities between these two movies, and it's almost like, It's interesting. We got this. We'll show you how to make someone fall into a floor.

Morgan, is falling into a floor of big Dungeons and Dragons trope. Yeah, it is. Usually it's like a pit trap of some kind. I think they were going for a mimic there. Was like a carpet was actually a monster pretending to be a carpet, which they usually pretend to be treasure chests.

It's a whole thing. That would be cool. I like that thing. In just a minute. Can I have a follow up with Morgan? Is honor among thieves a D&D thing? Not really. Thank you, Morgan.

And I would argue that honor among thieves is something that is said but no one respects. So it does be like the one true thing is that there is no honor among anyone. I mean, and what is the plot of this movie? Well, so I've got, I struggled and I did, I did watch the scene where there was some sort of an explanation. I watched it two times because I was like, June, you gotta, you gotta listen to this as hard as it is.

And it seems like, so Jeremy Irons wants to dethrone the Empress because she wants- You're their names, Jim. I can't. Yes. Jeremy's trying to January 6 with the council and get rid of the Empress, Thora Birch. Yes, because she believes that magicians and common people are the same.

Right. Okay. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. the the bassist writing of all time. All people are equal. What I couldn't quite get clear on, like Marina,

the character Marina does say at one point that she's in a wristocrat, so I'm like, oh, my just, mazes are a wristocrat. I couldn't quite get clear on what they had that the others didn't. So I couldn't understand similarly. It seemed as though is mere where Thora Birch is the Empress and Jeremy Irons is, I don't know what his position is. He's a mage. I know he's a mage but I don't know if he's like,

he's like big mage, like big mage energy over there. Yeah. Like he's, but I mean like he's also seems to have some sort of role in the council. He gets to speak to the council. I think he's Dumbledore. I think he runs the magic school. Oh. Because I think that in the beginning. Turn the irons?

No. Morgan. Morgan? So what sets the aristocrats apart? to school to learn magic. So it's essentially like the equivalent of going to an Ivy League school if instead of giving it massive economic advantages it gave you fireball powers. Got it. So is he, is Jeremy Irons in your eye like the kingdoms? Because now we are asking Morgan to be an expert on the movie which we all saw.

Morgan, what happened to Snail? I'm just kidding. But I was genuinely confused by, Thoreburt seems to be the Empress of Izmir, and they live in the city, or the capital city, or whatever. There's a magic school, and that's where Jeremy Irons and the, and Lipstick are, and that's where Snails and Ridley break in, and Marina is in there with the guy, and she gets the

map of blah, blah, blah, but then they go to all these other places. They go to like the Elven world, they go to all these other worlds. Is that still Izmir? Is that, they go to all these other worlds. Is that still ismere? Is that still the, or are these other kingdoms? Morgan? LAUGHTER Morgan is going to be easily 80% of this show. Wait, once we cut everything else out?

Morgan, what's your sense of that? My take is that the like, Elven kingdoms are like in Ismir, but not necessarily in the same physical space. There's a lot of stuff with like, alternate dimensions in D&D, and I think they were kinda trying to do that, but well. Why, because they're time hopping, they're going through different things.

I think portals, there's portals. Boy, did I want Marina. Nobody seemed to use any of their special skills at all No, right? Marina a fan Marina has the ability she has a pouch with stuff in it It seems like but she uses it twice Like use your magic If you're gonna open up a portal like close it

Close it before the rest of them get in. Yeah, people are open. And if I'm that dwarf, the dwarf joins for like only because they wake him up. Okay, and he's like, I guess I'll roll with you guys. First of all, that scene is so crazy. It seems like there is a sign on a sewer grate that says no dwarfs allowed. So he jumps, I guess it's a non-dwarfs sewer, so they go into a sewer. Which, wait, just to back up a brief moment.

That means everybody else is allowed into the sewer. Like what is that? Like what, I don't even understand on a level of, who wants to, everybody wants to go on the sewer, but they're like, we gotta keep the doors up. Well, by the way, not to, I don't, I'm. Yeah, be careful, Paul. Be careful. I'm careful to not say the wrong thing,

but I will say this. The dwarf seemed of equal height. Okay, so I thought this, I thought this, and I actually, I will say this, before the dwarf, quote unquote, the alleged dwarf arrived on screen, I had already had the thought these actors are very small. And once I saw that dwarf, I thought, no, no, no, either they're all dwarfs.

Do you think the scene where they're walking through the marketplace and Marlon Wayne's snails is stealing stuff from the stalls was improvised. That he was just grabbing stuff and putting food on his head and all the rest. The director was so frustrated with Marlon Wayne's in this movie. Was it because of all his screaming? Well, there was a lot of high-page screaming he was doing. So Marlon Wayne's fun fact was shooting

a Requiem for a Dream at the same time. There couldn't be a more disparate wow, ends of the spectrum than Requiem for a Dream and this movie. So, this one did have a ask to ask in it too though. What happened in this movie was the...

Come on, Philly. ...was a producer who couldn't find a director, so he was like, I'm not director. And I think it's his first and only film. And he got so frustrated with Marlon Wains, they said, look, I'll give you three ad-libs if you just do the line right one time. And that was their agreement. That's a great deal. And it felt like they used a lot of the ad-libs.

I think they did. Yeah, felt like it had been. Yeah. So I think it worked out. I've had that deal. Yeah. But that scene, there's a scene actually at the end, too, where Ridley says, hey, pick on someone your own size. And that's when I really noticed it.

I was like, they're all the same size. They're on the same size. He's picking on, he's average height, too. They're all, have you? That's what I'm saying, they're either all dwarves, or none of them are dwarves. Well, this is the problem with the new woke Snow White. Get ready.

I'm just kidding. Do you think that the shooting schedule for Marlon Wayans on Requiem for a Dream is why he was killed and is then not in the rest of the movie? And the only way they can insinuate that he is still alive is a glowing stone at the end. Like that's got to be because he had other he had a conflict or something like it made no he's the only character who dies and it makes no sense it's like you kill a main character midway through the film. Yeah, it was early.

And in a way that was not to save everybody, not a saccharine, not worth it at all. Nope. Well, he did throw the scroll. He threw it. He threw the scroll, not even two of them, like two feet in front of him. Arguably lipstick is closer to the scroll than anybody else is. Everybody, if you get a magic scroll, immediately get a bunch of fakes. This movie needed fake scrolls more than anything else. Well, by the way, here's your scroll. I will say this though, too, that we're like,

so Marlon Wayne's watches his two friends get sucked into a map. Then he's like, well, let me go flirt with this girl for a bit. Like there is no... Oh, fuck. Then lipstick. I got friends trapped in a map. Yeah. Lipstick and the Crimson Guard show up.

And the dwarf is like, come on, you don't have time for flirting or whatever he says. And Marlon Wayneands looks annoyed. But meanwhile, the big bad is right there. Also, they have escaped down a sewer, and they basically go to a TGI Fridays of medieval times. I will say the food looked good. And that might have been because I was very hungry. I do not want to see anyone eat a turkey

or chicken like that. It's the same thing. And the way that he ate it, like, oh, the skin. I have to say it. Food in beards is some kind of the most. I'm sorry, dear. Careful. And I will say about Jason, I've never

seen a piece of food in your beard. And I don't think I ever will. Never. Never. I've never seen a piece of food in your beard. And I don't think I ever will. Never. Never. I've never seen that. So sometimes it'll happen like popcorn in a movie theater. I won't know what popcorn is. I won't know it's a little piece that's gotten in there.

That's OK. In the Bay-Alice darkness. But you also eat popcorn like this. Yes. Or like this. There is nothing more upsetting than chicken and a beard. Yes. Or like this. I was like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm know, I felt like he was using that beard. Like, it was a plate. Like, I'll just leave it here and then I'll come back for seconds on my beard. I just can't. I felt like when Marina and Ridley went into the scroll, they came out with knowledge that we hadn't been privileged. Crazy to not see that scene. Why would I see that scene?

There must have been a Scroll world scene that was not in the movie because I'm making out with more exposition There was another dumb They and then it's always exposition with someone not even on camera It's like they're far in the distance like and that's why you went over here at the Empress at that That's why we all believe this. It's like they never get to the face. I will say though, the best thing I just checked on it, we got to see a little bit of movie magic.

Obviously we know that Marlon Wayne's shooting record room for a dream, but we also see the birth of one of his later films, the 2006 film Little Man. Because as he's walking to the girl, he picks up a little man, he goes, out of my way, a little man. And I bet you, in that moment, he's like,

what if I was a little man? A box office goal. That's Marlon Wains. And the cover for Little Man is very disturbing. Marlon Wains plays a baby that is a jewel thief. He's a little man who is pretending to be a baby. All right, so that was just, you know, again, if you're-

Just go back to the plot for a second. So, okay, so Jeremy Irons doesn't want the Empress to give everyone equal- power of the dragons. Well, yeah, but I think more than that, he doesn't want her to sort of bring equity to this community. I think he wants the aristocracy, IE the mages to be the rule above all. Right, because they believe that anarchy will happen if everyone is equal. But now at the end of the movie when all the dragons are attacking. I was like well It seems like Jeremy Irons is against those dragons and then Thor a birch released those dragons to say

Where are those she dragons from? I don't know We were those dragons though for movie Thor a birch has like a first class seat on dragon air She has but those aren't the red dragons. No, the red dragons are part of the scepter that Ridley gets when he gets into the dragon room of treasure. Which again, I just want to say, the cheapest-looking scepter I've ever seen.

I couldn't believe it. My kids have higher quality Halloween costumes than those scepters. So, okay, so but but there's a big plot point in the beginning of the movie that they want to get rid of her her her scepter the current the present scepter she has they want her

to like surrender it because we see him have he has a scepter at the beginning he's trying to control that drag and that's a bit worse right yes so everyone I think so in this world dragons are things to be That's what they were. Right? Yes, so everyone I think, so in this world, dragons are things to be controlled, and everyone has a sceptor, and that's how power is kept.

It's like, we can keep this, I think. But, yes. But, Paul, but, Paul. Okay, yes, to all of that, but here's where I like fell apart. So, they want her to, of her own volition, surrender her own scepter. And it seems she says no. Yes, at the council meeting, yeah.

At the council meeting. And so then some other person, one of her mentors tells her to get another scepter. That's the one that he gets. But that's where I got really confused. confused. I think we all need that other sector. Well, I think that the other, okay, the other sector seems to control, and I'm sorry about all this. I hate every second of this. It's a conversation. So the, the sector that controls the red dragons, right? The old man who is Marina, who is the Magic School's librarian, I think.

I thought he was young, babe. I thought he was young, the magic school. She is a freshman in Magic School. OK, OK, great. So she is in Magic School. He was a work study. Yes, I thought she was the librarian. I thought she was like a librarian.

No, no, no. The librarian is the old guy, because she she was the librarian. I thought she was like, no, no. The librarian is the old guy, because she only has two tricks. I guess you're right, yeah. Okay, so a couple more years, she's gonna have like four things. So he's like, there is a scroll that speaks of a scepter that controls all the red dragons, but beware because it will bring about war, right?

Yes, but this is what I don't understand because he's, ah, what he keeps on saying to her, and Morgan chime in whenever you want, but what he keeps on saying to her, and Morgan's like that just in case. Is that when she gets the red scepter, it's gonna somehow reveal Jeremy Irons and what is true intentions, our scepter. Morgan's going to somehow reveal germy irons and what is true intentions.

Morgan, can you help us with any of this? I can, yes. Great. So first of all, thank God. Put an end to it, Morgan. I'm just going to say right now, the t-shirt should be thank God for Morgan. All by it. Zon and Zon.

Dungeons, dragons, and Morgan. Go ahead, Morgan. So, the librarians idea was that if you have this backup scepter, you can give away your other scepter, but still secretly have the power to control a different group of dragons, which is like pretty silly in the context of you know weapons of mass destruction and sort of a global stalemate of political power. No, did she give up her back? Did she give up her scepter?

She did not, maybe because she didn't get the backup scepter. Okay, so what you're saying is it's like in the Godfather where they hide a gun in the toilet, right? So he goes, I don't have a gun. Oh, we could trust this guy. Hold on, I gotta go to the bathroom. Gets a gun, aka safter. It's exactly like that.

Okay, great. How come Morgan, is Jeremy Irons' little CGI winged spy, which is the second spy because there's another one in that man's head? Oh, there's a lot of ear stuff going on in this movie. But that little thing, what's that? It's either an import a closet. It's either a demon or a devil. It was a little unclear to me.

And it works for Jeremy Irons as a spy or something. Yeah, they tend to like essentially, they're like interns for spellcasters that hope instead of getting degrees. Paid are unpaid. They work for experience. He's got an answer. Oh, it does. Wow. All right.

I guess my final question is, Jeremy Irons seems to have eyes on the people he wants at all times, from the imp to lipstick, but they are always a looting capture in every way. Nor do they ever seem to really figure out they're being spied on. They're like, how did you know that? They just seem to let them do the job and they say they're bad. Everybody's bad at every job they are, they're supposed to be doing. Everybody sucks in this movie. Man, oh man, you know what? I think now it must be time for me to go in the audience

and see if anyone else besides Morgan can help clarify some things out there. Oh, you're in a costume. You're in, tell me with this costume, Dutch boy. Oh, from Geostorm, oh my gosh. Geostorm! Oh, I'm seeing the post-Geostorm costume. All right, a great costume. Both of them. All right, your name and your question.

My name is Ashley, and what was the giant flirting eyeball monster? Yeah, it's a big giant blob, Morgan? It's called a beholder, it's like a classic D&D monster, it cheats like... Classic! Boy, we really nailed it with you Morgan. Holy shit, this show would be an unmitigated disaster without Morgan and that is real. Alright, I have a gentleman in a Dungeons & Dragons or at least a dragon shirt and he's got Dungeons & Dragons pro Crocs. Oh boy.

Your name, you said you an observation, or you could do whatever you'd like. I mentioned, hey, everybody, I'm terrified of him. I've, oh, I was going to say my job would probably be like eating horse shit. Morgan, is that a profession you can have? And if you get in, do what you love, then it's not a job. That's it.

Sorry, Morgan. Sorry. So I tried to do deep dive because all these weird creatures, none of those were actually people or characters in D&D and second edition. Well, except for the one that Morgan said, was that? Oh, yeah. I mean, all these like background, like Star Wars-y kind of like,

you're just people in face paint. The purple guy with the third eye, I was hoping to try to get an idea that the novelization of the movie though, is just as opaque. And I just want everybody to know that like don't try to dig into that. It's not worth it.

Wait, I love that. How many people are here? I've read the novelization of this movie. Holy shit, Ed. Impressive stuff for this. I love that, Ed. Do not worry, I will not be looking into this any further. I'll be careful.

Okay, I'm gonna go over here for a second. Oh my gosh, a baby. Okay, oh my gosh, what do you mean? There's a baby. There's a, oh, I see it. There's a baby right at the bit. Oh my God. How old is it? The baby didn't have a question. I'll come back. I'll come back over there. All right, so you are in you are. I need to explain this properly. He that? Can we get more? Is there more lights? Is there more I need to oh boy? Wow he is snails the rocks the rocks. He's the grave Male the grave of snails holy shit This is this is I got a flash on for god's sake. All right, so You're in a snail's costume. This is awesome. I love it. You what's your name? My name is Adam and what's your question?

My question would be I'm not sure you're gonna get to it This is it yeah,, but we're here. We are getting to it. It's happening now. Adam, I'm a rock. Are they dead? Is this the age? I'm a rock. This is a great question. He did say I'm a rock.

He asked, are they dead at the end? Which was a question that I thought too, because snail is dead. But then he's like, I'm gonna take you to where I am, which seems to be death. Well, I feel like, because there seems to be some sort of, like, his name goes off of the rock, so, and the dragon eye starts to glow,

and the, and just when Ridley's about to say, like, can I have an exposition dump for what's going on? The elf is like, no. Shh, shh, shh, shh. No. It's almost over. Get out. You're ruined it. No, don't.

We're all just gonna disappear. The movie's done. Um, okay. You came over. I feel the energy that you have a good question. I have been only thinking about this for the last two days. Um, my name is August. I work here, so I would be a commoner.

And my question is, when lipstick is right before he's about to mind meld with Marina, do you think he was actually going to have a redemption arc, or do you think he was trying to manipulate her into giving him the answers? And she either failed or won in terms of interpretation. I don't know. Oh, that's the lipstick remains. It might have significance. This film might have a little bit of depth. I love it.

Attack it. I don't think so. It's so hard now looking back at lipstick because I really believed that his character, we spent so much time with him on the screen, that I thought for sure there's going to be some moment where we get that turn and we're going to really land the plane with lipstick. And I felt connected to him, but I think maybe that's because we had just seen him in another movie, Jason.

Yeah, I also was like, oh, I really wanted lipstick to have a moment where he turned on Jeremy Iron. Me too. And he was like, no, I won't be manipulated. I won't have your ear-based parasite living inside of my head. Yep. How's the baby doing? Honest to God, Morgan, I would kill you for that baby. Understood.

I would kill everybody in this room for the baby. And then I would raise the baby as my own. This theater is so complicated to get around. Please be careful of their poll. Be careful. But true. balcony now. It really is.

What's up? I'm in the back row of the top balcony. I only asked this every now and then when I use, I hope you don't get insulted by this. How old are you? 14 years young. Yeah! Great. You are two years older than the show or maybe one year. I don't know. Why are you older than the show? Okay, what is your name and your question? Maybe one year, I don't know. One year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one year, one How is Morgan doing as another person who knows Dengis and Dragons? We love Morgan. He's doing fantastic. Wow!

He is great. OK, so yeah. Okay, so yeah. Um, during the scene where, um, you know, Ripley or whatever his name is, he like comes out of the dungeon. How better would this movie be if Sigourney Weaver as Ripley? Yes! What- what instead in the leader role? Sorry, go ahead.

When he comes out of like the cave with the party city staff, lipstick guys like, I'll let her go if you give me a staff. And he's like, fine. And then, let's go for a second. And he's like, you promise. And he's like, I lied. It was like the weirdest thing. He feels like... I don't know.

If you're saying this movie doesn't make much sense. Thank you, I am. But I don't know if lipstick guy has any like moral compass or whatever, but that was the most eight year old way of putting it. Where it's like, actually, I didn't. And they're coming from a fourth year old. That's true. All right, how do I get?

You can't get it. I can't get it. You're in a costume. But I would still kill him for the baby. I don't know. I don't know how I'm gonna get over to you. It seems deadly. Let me try if I got this.

Oh, don't dump. All right, thank you everybody. Here we are, we're near the edge. All right, thank you. Don't be a part of it. We're not thankful. We're not thankful. We're not thankful. We're not thankful. All right. Thank you.

Thank you. All right. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Thank you. Thank you. All right.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Thank you. Thank this theater. OK. Hi. How are you? Your name and your question. My name is Adelaide.

And my friends and I watched it earlier. And we gave an ungodly amount of time to the consideration of the breastplate. And like, did it look like a rouse breast with no nipples going on, like the kind of situate, right? And then like, and then like, also, how much better would the movie have been if the two lead characters had come from the year 2000?

That would be amazing, right? There would be a Connecticut-Yanking King Arthur's Court. Like that kind of a vibe. Exactly. You get me. Yeah. So I mean, look, they definitely asked it like that. I do think you should address the breastplate for a second. And it was strange because I thought about it a lot too.

I thought about it a lot. I haven't stopped thinking about it, and I'm going to think about it a lot too. Oh, I haven't stopped thinking about it and I'm gonna think about it a lot in the hotel later. I was like the the I have the same questions which were is the breastplate preparing for boobs that are always erect or are those just where the, and are they customized per person, or is that just like your standard breastplate? Yes, that's what I was gonna say. I wonder if the armor is bespoke for each warrior.

And in which case, how do I become the person that makes that armor? Or at least does the measurements? All right, I have a question here, another back row question, standing room question. All right, you're ready. All right, your name, your question, what do you got? I'm Rachel, I'd hope to be an elf. Marina very clearly has glasses on in the library scene and then loses them in the kerfuffle

of like exiting that space and then seemingly just doesn't need glasses for the rest of the film and I was really like confused about this. So much so that her wanted poster doesn't even have the glasses on it and most people would recognize her as someone who would have glasses on like Like, if you were to draw, also terrible drawing of somebody. I think that at once in the first scene, she's a nerdy, she's in the library. And then she takes her glasses off, lets her hair down in his beautiful and gorgeous

for the rest of the movie, Allah, she's all that. And that hair comes down so quickly. Oh yeah. And it stays down. Oh, yeah, it's like bava-bava-voons. OK, get her a breastplate. I want everybody to get a breastplate. It is one of my favorite tropes and movies in general

that we cannot find women attractive if their hair are up. Yes, and they're wearing glasses. It's too much to imagine. If wearing glasses, they're fucking gross. Now, June, I will say to you, I love you with your hair up and I love you with glasses on. I know you do, he does, but. Wow.

All right, I hope this question can conservatively take a 10 minute long answer, because that's what was just presented to me as far as how to get back down. So when I just asked for directions, it was like, okay, go down the brown says, make a left. Don't make a right because then you go over here, but they have the elevator stairs. I don't think we'll see you again. Like maybe you, you say good night. I feel like the brown stairs definitely go to the bathroom. Your name? My name is Mark, and I would be a trap rug weaver. Ooh, a trap rug weaver, OK, and your question. I have a question for Morgan, unfortunately.

Wow. Fortunately. So when the party goes to Heo Ridley with Elf Doctor Who, he explains that dragons are related to magic in some incredibly convoluted way. So dragons are related to magic in some incredibly convoluted way so dragons are magic Morgan are dragons and natural resource Great question for Morgan Whoa slow down Paul No, sorry

That answer was not long enough to cover Paul's descent. I do have a question. Oh, Morgan has a question. Okay. No. Morgan knows his place. I know my place. And it's amongst you.

Yes. The baby though, ooh, I want the baby on stage so bad. Okay, go ahead Morgan, what's your question? Why did Lipstick think he was acting in a credible movie? Because he had a lot of like gravitas and pregnant pauses in his delivery, and it was blowing my mind a little bit. I think that he and Jeremy Irons, especially because they shared so many scenes together, they were going for it.

Yeah. And tonally, they were matching each other. Yes. It was like a Meisner exercise. Yeah, it was a mirror exercise. But yeah, you know, I don't know what to say. I think here's what I'll say. I think the only person who can answer that question is you Morgan.

I know. Turn it back to you. I'm so scared when Morgan's asking us questions. Oh, I feel really on the spot. It was just what was in my head while I'm watching every scene with this. I know. I know. To go back to that gentleman's question before Morgan? Because you gave such a brief answer.

Paul's back. And by the way, if you ask this, can we get the people to come on down and Morgan, we'll have to think your mic in a second. Sorry. Sorry, Morgan. But just before you take his mic away, when I ask you one other question. Paul, we can put one of these, I bet.

Because I know you said that elves aren't a natural resource. But that moment when they said, we are magic. I know you said that elves aren't a natural resource, but That moment when they said we are magic you use the mages use magic and the commoners I guess or the thieves Don't even think and have anything to do with it, but the elves actually are magic Does that does that resonate with your understanding of this world? No. There it is again. Okay. Made up whole cloth for the movie.

Thank God for Morgan's brevity. Yeah. Because sometimes people are like, I've got power now. I'm holding the mic. All right. Well, here it is people. Obviously we have opinions, we have thoughts about this movie. There are people out there with different opinions, different thoughts.

It is now time for second opinions. I do need a little help. I need a little beat. Not too fast, but can I get a stomp clap? Stomp clap. In West Philadelphia board and craze on Amazon is where I spent most of my days chilling out, maxing, relaxing, all cool, watching some movies

and then leaving reviews when a couple of users who were frankly wrong tried to say my favorite movie was a bomb. I read one bad review that said they weren't entertained and thought you're not giving enough credit to Marlon Witties I logged in, crack my knuckles and started a type, made a case for why D&D is more than all right, published my thoughts, and admired my bars. And that's my second opinion as the Prince of Five Stars. Yes!

Yes! My name is Abby. Thank you, Abby! You would have made me! My name is Abby. Thank you, Abby. All right, these are five star reviews pulled from Amazon. There are 2,590 reviews. 2,590 reviews. 59% or 5 star.

59% or 5 star. Holy shit. Did we blow it? David writes title. It's a good movie. Then he writes, I like spending time watching movies with my loved ones and definitely this is a cool one. Five stars. Is there any way people were

reviewing the 2023 movie as a matter of fact as I'm looking at the dates yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit. That's amazing. Are any of those reviews, Paul, from 2000? I have some that were before the movie came out. But this one I'll read regardless of what it was from, because it seems to not even make a difference.

Michael Emrick writes, I have what I wanted, five stars. Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. This one written back in 2022 by Rick McGlarken says this. Not a real name. The title of the organ? McGlarken. Of the Philadelphia McGlarken. You know, Ricky McGlarken.

I do feel like if you're, if you become an adult with that name you change you change it or it's like It's the bar everyone goes to I'll meet you in Maclarkins. So hard to say everyone forgets your name Maclarkins Maclarkin Titles as a review good movie if you like this stuff Like I do The review reads I'm very into dragon. Magic, knights, fiction, or fantasy, so I liked it. Five stars. Baroneth?

Why not? Again, by the way, why not? And then this one. You nailed it, McGlarken. This one by Dan Kriegwritten in 2013. The title is, I've seen this movie before. And the review goes like this. I like this kind of movie.

I don't know what else to say. I don't know what else to say. Five stars. Wow. Wow. Wow. To sign on to your Amazon account. To log in. To log in.

Like, wow. Do you think that if they had brought snails' body to the elves, they could have healed him the same way they seemed to be able to heal Ridley? I was thinking that why wouldn't think that. Why not? Why not just heal everybody if you can. They take them all to the tree city on Kashyyyk. And are like, here's the deal.

That's a Star Wars reference. I didn't get it. And seem to be able to heal Ridley from death. Ridley's like, and they're like, we're bringing him back with just hands on a hard body. Well, here's what I'll say. I also was confused at the end because one more thing in that Elven city when they're in the thing

and Ridley comes back to life, he and Marina have a make out. Yes. And the little imp is watching like a fucking creep. I wrote that. He's creeping on them like, hey, hey, hey, I get to watch the, he's like a little purve. Are there more, are there purves in D&D?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. I will say, and not to be too gross about it, but I felt like they hangled. Big gross about it, Paul. The angle that they shot that little imp. Like you saw his dick. Like you saw his dick. Like you saw him.

You thought it was little. You're saying you thought it was little. I actually thought it was a large, normal, chill adult dick. Right? So that's what happens there. What do we think people? What do we think here? I will say this. So I haven't seen the new Dungeons & Dragons movie. And I am excited. This is my overall review. I'm excited to see another Dungeons & Dragons movie, which is 23-1.

Yeah. Oh, it's fantastic, genuinely. I love it Morgan How did you feel about the recent Dungeons and Dragons movie? I thought it was a lot of fun I thought that it mirrored the structure of a D&D campaign of hell a lot better than this one did to to great movie Yeah, it's a great movie. It's a blast. I thought it was a fun ride This movie this movie to me feels like it's it's not even getting to like willow levels of interest for me, you know. Alright, so would you recommend this movie?

I'm gonna go first and say no. I didn't find it to be enjoyable enough. Like you can definitely watch all the Jeremy Irons scenes on YouTube and I think that would be fine. I do. Yeah, I mean it was so I had a crazy experience watching this because we've again we've been watching these movies during this tour for how many days now five. Five. So we are deranged. We are a deranged people. And so I didn't mind watching this in comparison to some of the other films we've seen this week. To be a, to be a, how did this get made completist?

Sure, why not? But I will say, as I have said for many other movies in the past, it is perfectly okay to fast forward through, you know, like I scrubbed a lot of 30 seconds, forward, 30 seconds forward, when they were just walking between places. There's a lot of, there's a lot of like, just like stuff in there, there's a lot of 30 seconds forward, 30 seconds forward, when they were just walking between places. There's a lot of, there's a lot of, like, just like stuff in there.

There's a lot of filler, I feel like. I will say this, and this really was hard for me, and I didn't know how else to do it, but my audio was not synced with my video. Not that it was mine, not that it was mine. I complained today to about it. To who? To Apple, because I think it's an internal issue.

Did you write a review? And it was so weird. And it made the movie 10 times more frustrating. Because you're like, ouch. And then all of a sudden, you would see the thing that happened. I hope that someone in Apple is like, hey, you know the comedian Paul Schier? Yeah.

So he's like emailing me about the sink on the Dungeons and Dragons movie. Oh, that's a great movie. No, sink on the Dungeons and Dragons movie. Oh, that's a great movie. No, no, not the recent one. And also, with our children here and all that was going on today, getting here from New York, when did you have time to rate that email? I'm busy. I got a lot of stuff.

I go, I do. We also have received like 300 boxes of horse shit from Philly. Again, I have to get stuff done. I'll tell you one thing. Just a couple of fun facts about it. Like I mentioned, the guy who directed it was supposed to just produce it. And whenever people say, hey, this would be sucked.

He's like, hey, I was just trying to produce it. But you did direct it. The main actor never played Dungeons and Dragons. He goes, I tried to watch some games, but it just felt like people were arguing. So I trusted the script. I trusted the script. First mistake. Now Morgan, you may or may not agree with this or not, but it seems like the director decided to focus,

he created a generic setting loosely based on a lesser known game setting called Mistara. And he felt like, if you use anything from the game of confused viewers, he decided to confuse viewers on his own without having anything to relate to. And that's really all, I will say this. confuse viewers on his own without having anything to relate to. And that's really all, I will say this. The other thing that is interesting about this movie

is the budget was $45 million. $45 million. That can't be true. If it is, somebody needs to do forensic accounting to find out where that money went. I think it went to all the CGI dragons blood. Oh. You're right, there is CGI nonsense, so maybe that.

Opening weekend, 7 million domestic gross, 15 million. The tagline, it's no game. That's it. Jesus Christ. It's no game. Wow. Yeah, it's like it's not, it's not just a game. It's, it's no game. It's no game. Now, I feel like we normally go and debate what the shirt should be, but really, the shirt to me feels like it's just Morgan. Yeah. And is it? I'm the Morgan of my group.

I'm the Morgan of my group, or Philly's own Morgan. Morgan's the dragon. Morgan's the dragon. Morgan's the dragon's in the font of Dungeons and Dragons. Morgan, are you happy with that? Can I be riding a dragon in it? What's that? Can I be riding a dragon in it?

Morgan was riding a dragon. Morgan come close to me for a second. Yeah. Can we get outslides? I got a picture. Give it up for Morgan! Stand up for Morgan! Give it up for the baby!

Give it up for the baby! Give it up for Shakeville and June! Thank you, Billy! Thank you, Tom Falky! Thank you, Metal Man! Thank you, Orpherstress! Thank you for coming out! Good night, everybody! That's right!

Each shit, Billy! That is a treat! What a show! Wow! That was a fun episode! Thank you so much to the staff at the Miller theater are amazing tour manager Beth Thomas and all of you in Philadelphia Who made it such a great time and I have to give a special thank you to the one and only Morgan Who is the subject of our Morgan and dragons shirt?

Which is finally back up for sale on tpubbuck.com slash stores slash HD TGM I love this shirt get that shirt. We've had two banger shirts between that and bankan and you can't go wrong with the merch That we're making anyway, um, if you've been wanting to attend one of our live shows and you maybe have Been like well, I can't travel to the States. Don't worry. We're coming to Europe. Well, that's really only good if you live in Europe. That's right. We are going to be in Europe for the first time ever. How does it get made is going on a European tour to the UK and Ireland from March 28th to

April 3rd, 2024. We'll be traveling across the pond to London, Glasgow, Belfast and Dublin tickets are on sale now at htgm.com. And once we select the movies for each show you will find those listed there as well. People now that we can talk about all the things that we're doing and all the things that we are supporting I want to just give a huge shout out to the great lower decks on Paramount Plus.

I love doing that show and I wasn't able to talk about it throughout the entire season because we were on strike. If you haven't watched it, just jump in. You don't have to know anything about Star Trek. It's just a funny fucking comedy show that happens to take place in the Star Trek universe. Again, Family Switches on Netflix was the number one movie in the world.

Wow, how about that? And disturbance in the force, I think, has a hundred percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes or at least the last time I checked and that is a documentary about them making of the Star Wars holiday special It's a lot of plugs for sure, but you know what? I got things to plug anyway heads up next week. I will be taking a last looks off for New Year's That's right. I take a break and don't worry though because in this place We will be re-releasing a how did this get me classic episode on the movie Anaconda with guest Michael E. and Black. If you want to find out what our next movie is going to be, make sure to tune into the Anaconda

re-release because I will announce our next movie at the top of that episode. So don't worry, we'll still be covering dozens of dragons on a future super sized last looks, but it doesn't mean that's just because we're not doing it next week. You don't have to send us corrections and omissions, please do that still. Give us a call at 619 Paul Ask, write a comment on our Discord at Discord.gisache.httgm. And remember, you can find us everywhere online at HDTGM and make sure to follow us on Threads. And lastly, I gotta say thank you to our entire behind the scenes team who keeps this

show running. I'm talking about our producers Scott Sonny Molley Reynolds and our movie-picking producer Averyl Halley, our engineers, Casey Hulford, and Rich Garcia, and our associate producer, Jessus Narris, who makes our amazing social media videos. But even more importantly, I have to thank all of you listeners who support this show.

And as of last week, how did this get made? It's been going on for 13 years, right? 13 years, and we couldn't continue doing this show without such a loving dedicated fan base and Team behind the scenes. Thank you earwulf. Thank you serious. Thank you Listeners. We love you all. We appreciate you all. We are so thrilled when you buy a ticket or a t-shirt truly I go into this new year just happy that we've had you for 13 years. Can't wait to continue in your 14. See you in 2024.