How Did This Get Made? - Gods of Egypt w/ Erin Gibson and Bryan Safi (HDTGM Matinee)

Episode Date: February 4, 2025

Erin Gibson and Bryan Safi of the Attitudes podcast joins Paul and Jason in-studio to discuss the 2016 Fantasy film Gods of Egypt. Is it a good sign when the opening narration isn’t confident in remembering the plot of the movie? What was the sphinx saying? Why doesn’t Gerard Butler’s accent stay consistent throughout the movie? All of this and more is covered as they get deep into this green screen adventure. (Originally released 8/19/16) • Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, FAQs, and more• Have a Last Looks correction or omission? Call 619-PAULASK to leave us a voicemail!• Submit your Last Looks theme song to us here• Join the HDTGM conversation on Discord: discord.gg/hdtgm• Buy merch at howdidthisgetmade.dashery.com/• Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of Trauma• Shop our new hat collection at podswag.com• Paul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheer• Paul’s YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheer• Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer• Subscribe to Enter The Dark Web w/ Paul & Rob Huebel: youtube.com/@enterthedarkweb• Listen to Unspooled with Paul & Amy Nicholson: unspooledpodcast.com• Listen to The Deep Dive with June & Jessica St. Clair: thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcast• Instagram: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & @junediane• Twitter: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & msjunediane  • Jason is not on social media• Episode transcripts available at how-did-this-get-made.simplecast.com/episodesGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I am rich, but never seen. I am primarily white, yet full of green screen. Who am I? If you guess the gods of Egypt, you're right. We saw it, and you know what that means. Oh, people of earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made That as Vander Talens with his real band recording our theme song. Give it up for Vander Talens. That's his real band?

Not his fake band? Well, you know, look, Vander travels with a bunch of different people. It's kind of like the East Street band. It kind of comes and goes. I'm joined, as always, by Jason Manzzzzzzi. How are you? Jason. I'm good, Paul.

How are you? I am very good. I am days away from having a child, which explains why... You look great. Thank you. You look great. I feel good. You're carrying it.

Beautifully. Been drinking. Yeah. Smoking. It doesn't affect anything. Yep. But it does explain why our second co-host is not here. June Diane Raphael.

She is on maternity leave. Yep. And so that's that. And after this episode, we're going to go on a brief two to three week. paternity leave. So Jason, you can just stay here, childless. I'll be here. No kids alone.

Crying in the studio. Talking to whoever wants to talk to me about whatever bad movies they've seen. But we have a very special today. Not one of one of my favorite podcasts. If you've not listened to it, you've got to check it out. Please welcome Brian Safi and Aaron Gibson. Yay.

Thanks. What an intro? Jason. I'm very excited to have you guys. What's that? Do you have anything to say about our podcast? I love your podcast. But let's get into

gods of Egypt. I need to apologize. This is a Jason Manzuka's recommendation. This was a Jason Manzuka's recommendation because I caught part of it on HBO recently and was like, oh, we should do this. And then when I went to watch it, I realized I had watched part of Exodus Gods and Kings,

the Ridley Scott movie that is also a nonsensical, all-white people in an environment in which everybody would not be white. Well, this is an interesting point. Well, I think we stumbled upon something beautiful here. Oh, yes. Oh, this was, when I started watching this, I was like, wait a minute, I thought Christian

Bail was, and then I was like, oh, no, this is terrible. Well, in case you haven't seen the movie, take everything you know about Egyptian mythology and forget it completely, because I think the only thing that you need to know is that maybe Egypt exists. So they don't even really get the pyramids. There's really very little. There's a sphinx. Yeah, there's a sphinx.

Oh, yeah, that's good. And anyway, it's about two brothers, one good, one bad, the bad one's set. That's right, set. Tried to take over the world, and the good one, with one eye, Horace, tries to stop it with his nephew. I'm already going to correct him. Okay, sorry, his nephew. Tries to stop it with a mortal who is waiting to bring, who's just wanting to bring back

his dead girlfriend. That's basically, I mean, sort of. Sort of. There are so many subplots, boring subplots. Very boring. That have no, like, it was literally like first draft on mess. It was also so many meat cutes. Yeah.

Like I feel like there was so many times where everyone was flirting. Even when the dialogue, even when no one else was around, it was like a flirty. And everybody's constantly running into each other. Like we're talking like an expanse of land that is enormous with millions of people plus the underworld. Yes. Like, and everybody's constantly like, oh, you're here too. Oh, look at this. Isn't this wild we're running into each other here?

Yeah. 50% of this movie is people. walking into things and seeing people and then other 50% is things that they've walked into falling down.

Yes. All of which is green screen. Oh. Like this is a movie that must have been just shot in a green screen prison for these people. I called this movie

like a platform movie because it's like all they had was a platform. It's like all on this and don't wear and then ever and then there's the sky's exploding and it was all just like

so smooth and shine it it just felt like Scottsdale like yes. Just like really like upper class shishi like desert. I would love to set this entire movie in Scottsdale. Gods of Scottsdale. Everything's the same. We haven't yet talked about the fact

that the gods are 25 feet tall and the mortals are not. And that is a real thing that happens through the whole movie. Jamie Lannister is 25 feet tall and the human guy he's running around with the whole time is a normal dude or a normal Hollywood actor, so probably 5'1. Yeah, it's opposite Lord of the Rings. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And that was jarring. And it also never It never works. Never looked good.

It never has looked good in any movie. No, I don't like it. I wouldn't support POV shots of just like how, like looking down on the like a... It must have made shooting it very difficult. Yeah. I feel like, I mean... No, remember, you got to look down when you talk to it. You down further.

Your eye line is way down here. And this guy only had one eye, so it's even harder. All right, so I want to just ask a general question because this is when I started watching this, is like, are you ever excited to see? a movie like this? Like an Egyptian? Always. Always. Really?

And I have to be honest with you. Always. I think the, I love, I saw Exodus gods. I love biblical epics. Okay. I'm not a religious person at all. But I love the Ten Commandments. I love Ben Hur.

I saw Exodus. What do you like about them? I think just the scale, just the absurd, the dialogue never matches the scale of what they're doing. It's always so pedestrian. Or like modern. Like, there was one moment where a tiny man was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down everybody.

I was like, no one's ever said that in Egypt. Ancient Egypt. Ancient Egypt. Well, the first scene where our mortal, you know, meets up with his girlfriend, I'm like, wait, wait, it took me by surprise because it was so jarring how casual they were. It was, you could have just replaced the scenery and put this in like a regular, like, rom-com and about it. Completely.

Fine. The first 10 minutes of this movie is shocking. Like, I mean, because it really. I stopped it like three times. Wait, I got to rewind it. miss it. I don't, because the dialogue's so cute. And Gerard, everyone, no one's accents match at all. No.

Not at all. Can we just, I want to play Gerard Butler's accent because Gerard Butler is like, I'm not changing the fact that I'm Scottish. By the way, I won't do that. But even his own accent is inconsistent throughout the movie. His real voice is inconsistent. Doesn't match anything. Take out, this is Gerard Butler's accent.

Wait. Sorry, I'm late. Three days to cross the desert And nearly one more to pass through all your admirers Seth Brother Good to see you And you, brother

There's always a place for you here It's like a big day for the family This is in front of millions of people They're on a stage in front of millions of people At a king's coronation ceremony This opening line Wait, sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not, they're on a stage wait, sorry I'm late.

It was like that show, thank God you're here. You remember that horrible impression? It was felt like that. He's like, hey, guys, my bad. But also, they're speaking in a voice even lighter than what we're speaking in. And the audience all heard that joke. Todd laughing. Yeah, they were like, ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Killed it. So are gods just naturally amplified because they're presenting, but they're not, they're not even, they're not even, they're just like, all right, so we're going to coronate the king today. And they're like, ah. Yeah. There's no yelling. pomp and circumstance, and they're in a field bigger than, like, Wembley Stadium talking at a normal

volume. They're about to put the crown on Jamie Lannister's head, and Gerard Butler shows up, as we just heard. And they then proceed to have an intimate four-person conversation on the dais or whatever they are on in front of, who are

millions of people who are just wrapped watching them undergo like family drama, basically. It would be like if you went to go see like like if you want to go see Hamilton and then like Lynn Wellmwell's like mom came on stage and was like

hey baby you forgot your sandwich it was like that level the show's going great tonight oh thanks mom you know and everyone in the audience is like everyone was still as invested as they were in Hamilton

no it was so it was such a strange choice for the director to be like so at this coronation we're going to be at our most casual yes like we're just this is you just came It's like you're grabbing a snack from the kitchen. It really, that scene, and again, it's these first couple of scenes that you're like, all right, what is going?

I can't get the tone. They're not even, they're setting up nothing except for the fact that everyone's related. So when Gerard Butler turns on his brother, which as you can see from the beginning, the confusing family tree that happens when you're like, wait, who's related to you? Everybody's ages were wrong because Gerard Butler's brother. is played by Brian Brown. Yes. Who is a much, much older actor. And Gerard Butler is the uncle of Jamie Lanister.

And they're the same age. They appear to me to be the same age. Yeah. And Jeffrey Rush is all of, is the grandfather. Who I believe is the same age as Brian Brown. 100%. I was like, what's doing here? Is Jeffrey Rush Zeus?

No, he's raw. Raw. He's the son-gun. I mean, I wish it was Zeus. Then we'd have a Greek pantheon of gods come down and kick these gods. God's ass. That's what I'm talking about.

Man, do you gods have, can your gods turn into battle armor? Can they turn into like Iron Man with animal heads? No, Greek gods can't do that because that's ludicrous. This is skipping head, but there was a literal Iron Man moment. Yes. Yeah, he's like, go, go, go, go. Yeah, I would have rather watched them stop the film, put in that scene from Iron Man, then start the film again. Because he's like, when he does do that thing, he's like dipped into boiling hot lava?

and they're putting in pieces but this is the thing I was so confused by and this will kind of run throughout the whole movie are these Egyptian gods pieces can be taken out like Legos. Well that's a big thing they plop Plink flip them out At the end of the coronation Gerard Butler

pulls Jamie Lannister's eyes out and the eyes come out like they're from a car spark plugs they come out like their blue glowing spark plugs like they unscrew because later he gets them and just pops them back in like screw, screw, screw,

oh, my eyes work again. And also, you would think that maybe they would do something to his eyes when they were in because there are these blue glowing orbs. But no, just totally normal eyes. There's nothing even special about anything. Well, no, he has special eyes because he can see, you remember when you see his point of view, he can like zoom in on things.

He's got eagle eyes? Which didn't happen. It happened like twice. I know. And we were supposed to get that that's... And far enough away where you forgot that that was a thing he could do. Also, this is skipping before, but I think the opening line of the movie is something like, Get ready, this is going to suck.

It's like, yeah, it was like, let me see how much of this I can recall. And it was like, what? Wait, because the narrator is the mortal as an old man, right? Was it totally different accent? It sounded like Jeremy Iron. Oh, I hope. And the Mortal did not. No.

We can play a little bit of that opening just to hear the opening of you. because it is like, it is pretty great to be like, eh. If you know the whole story, from what I recall, does something like this. You don't know. Before history began, Egypt was the birthplace of all life. That's not true. It's not true.

It's worthy of the gods who created it. So not only are they doing this, what they're doing here is saying, again, everything you know about mythology in Egypt, you got to forget that, So we're going to do something different. And also, I don't even know if I know exactly what happened. Yeah. So it's like it's two frames of being confused. It's like so confusing.

This, you have no frame of reference for it and I'm not a reliable narrator. And then the mortal guy really, I mean, it really just was like lifting, it was like watching a real life version of Aladdin. Like it was that annoying and just like stealing, robbing, asides. He drove me a little crazy. Watch me, watch me to a cartwheel. Yeah. It was just, I don't know. His hair really bothered me.

I didn't like his hair. No. I didn't like his hair. I felt like... It looked like a pre-revolutionary war, like, judges' wig. It was to sort of look into Patriot. But like not, yeah. Like, I kept wanting to see a small ponytail name of his neck, but it never showed up.

You know what's interesting? The guy that does the voice of older Beck. Also, the main mortal's name is like the least Egyptian. His name is Beck. and he looks just like a white handsome guy. It's basically like, we want to do a movie that's set in ancient Egypt starring like a waspy British guy

whose name is Beck. Like, this is nonsense. Anyway, the guy, Beck is 26, and the guy that does that ancient voice is 30. One? That's amazing. It is amazing. I had to look up, because the whole movie,

I didn't really understand anyone's names. And so for the entire movie, I thought that Gerard Butler's name was Seth. Oh, yeah. Well, it's, what is it, Seth? It's set. So it's, I mean, I get that. But I was like, but it's much funnier. Funny to be Seth.

Yeah. Do you know what drove me crazy? That's like Kevin Lannister on Game of Thrones. Yeah. Tywin Lannister's brother's name is Kevin. Oh, and here's Kevin. What? We've got, we've got Tywin, Tyrion, all these great names.

Kevin. And then, oh, Kev, get over here, Kev. Sorry, Brian. Go ahead. I interrupted you. No, what drove me the one moment that really got under my skin because I was just like, what a great opportunity. Did anyone understand what the Sphinx was saying?

Oh, no. I had to read this clip too. I was so excited for that riddle and it was unintelligible. It was the only part of the movie that I really agree. I was like, okay, this is cool. Like, I understand that this is a thing and they got to get this smart guy. Problem solving. I can get on, I understand plot-wise why this can happen.

Great. This is the Sphinx. And you can hear it, and I wrote down what it was, because I did Google it. Here we go. This is the Sphinx in the movie. Okay, just stop right there. Stop right there for a second. And put your motion in the basket.

What? From the get-go, nothing makes sense. It's so much reverber. It's worse than Bain. Yes. I'm like, well, this is arguably the only part of the movie that you would want in a year. I know. And it's the riddle of the sphinx.

This is like, oh, okay. Sorry, go ahead. Just bothers and out to the king. Also, my religion, or it ceased to be. Go on. I'm waiting. Out always to me. No one ever saw me, you ever will.

And yet I am the confidence of all who live and breathe. What time? No, bra, blah, blah. Order. And by the way, this is where this movie kind of sucks ass, too, because he asked that question. And you can actually hear it a little bit better when you've isolated all the images

because the majority of this movie also is just snake-like creatures. Yes. Someone was like, hey, can you design some creatures? Yeah, they can all be snake-like. As long as they can all slithery. Yeah, everything, the sphinx was slithery. They had like guys riding on giant dune snakes.

I love those. Oh, those are pretty cool. I like that sequence. Was that lady from Diane Ward? Oh, my gosh. I don't think so. I don't think it is, but I just... It's not.

No. They were in Chappie, though, the Diane-Word people. Okay. They were in Chappie. Good. That's what I needed. I needed to know they were in something. Oh, they're, don't you worry.

They're out there. Are you talking about, yeah. Ninja and Ninja. They had names? Oh, yeah. The Diane were people? No, no, no, no. I'm sorry.

In this movie, in this movie, I believe it was Yaya Ding as Annette and Abby Lee as... Annette. Annette. Anette. Oh, N, S-Dart. A start. I loved that scene.

I loved the snakes. That was great. That was my favorite sequence of the movie. And I think I was just always confused about where we were at. Like, I was like, when I was like, are we in the underworld? Are we not in the underworld? It's a movie in which people are constantly going from place to place.

I don't have any understanding of where and why. Oftentimes, they don't know. Yeah. A lot of times characters are saying, why are we here? Yeah. Why are we here? Oh, we got to talk to Ra. Okay.

How are we doing that? Bing, bang, boom. Now we're at Ross. And also, every scene felt cut so short that they just, like, they just sliced it in half. And you were always in a new place. And it's still two hours. Yeah. The two out, 126 minute movie, they, like, and that's the other thing, too.

Like, at the end, they're like, well, let's go back to the Capitol. Oh, you had that ability to, like, just traverse from the underworld to back to the real world? And when the girlfriend just leaves the location when she's about to be killed, and I'm like, you could have done this the entire time? It's so stupid. By the way, I wrote two lines down that I think illustrate. Similar points of, like, there was what you were saying earlier about the voiceover, where you're like, why are...

They're like, we don't give a shit, why should you? There was one where Jamie Lannister said to John Bon Jovi, which is what I'm calling that mortal. Because you know there was like weird like, like, oh, this is going to be a funny scene, orchestral music. Like, oh, we're about to say something funny. So we're going to show you with this like Looney Tunes thing. There was a moment where Jamie Lannister said,

do you think I'd put any effort in trying to amuse you? Which I was like, well, this whole film doesn't understand the irony in that. And then there's another one where it was like, why are we here? why haven't you figured this out? It was next time run towards their weak spot. This is about the snakes. And then Bon Jovi says, how do you know they have a weak spot?

And then Jamie Linistern says, I don't know, but they must, right? Yeah. I'm like, this is not happening in real time. This is a script. You can figure this out. And why can't he know? Yeah. Why can't you know that they have a weak spot in order to defeat them?

And why didn't you know what running was. Yeah. By the way, this is also my irritation with this whole movie. is like you set up these things that should be like they get the philosopher right that guy toth who i liked uh chadwick bozman yeah that's chadwick bozman yeah i can't that's black panther it was shocking yeah and he comes in and they set him up you know he's contemplating ahead of lettuce and and and uh and then they bring him there and he doesn't figure out the fucking clue the mortal does and i felt like that was like a weird undercutting like we got to get this character this

character's so important we got to get him also do you get three guesses yeah that was the Are you allowed three guesses? That also drove me crazy. I was like, I don't know that maybe that is part of the rule of the riddle of the sphinx that I'm just not knowing. But like, he immediately is like, he gives his answer and he's like wrong. He smacks Jamie Lannister once. And then they're like, oh, wait a minute, well, let me try again. Wait, what?

You could just see that for over. Yeah, that drove me crazy. If you think about what happened in the first 30 minutes, first hour. Oh, we still haven't even talked about the architect. Oh, the architect. I love that guy. Me too. Didn't you, is this unfair to say, as shitty as this movie was,

I respected every single person in there because they, I thought they did a great job for the bullshit that they had to do. Everyone was in. Like, everyone was like, I am here, I am committing. Like, Gerard Butler, like, I know he didn't do anything with that accent, and sometimes it didn't match, but I was like, fuck, man. He's like, I'm going to do bad guy back guy. Totally.

Yeah. This is where I will say, like, and I believe this to be true, a cast of Americans could not make this movie. Oh, it's true, yes. There's simply something about, A, these are, like, and this is controversial, I know. People are going to write it and be like, no, that's not true.

Here's this person and that person. But this is a movie in which everybody, everybody in it is like men. Right. Men, grown men, you know, like fighting and for honor and the hierarchy of all this stuff. And for some reason, we just associate that with, like, whether it's like British people

or whether it, I guess, you know, Jamie Lannister's Danish? Yeah, or like Australia, like, Hensworths, whatever. Great. And then there are men, but there's something about those accents. There's something about this that I'm like, you know, I get what this is. Yeah. And, like, I don't know if you could cast Americans in all these roles and have it land right. Well, you give it, it that, like, for whatever it is, that weird bullshit realness.

It's like the same way you're saying that that guy is, like, just a few years older than the 26-year-old doing the voiceover. It's like, he sounds like he's lived a life. It sounds to me like Jeremy Irons, like, let me tell you the story. And it's like, oh, yeah, I'm just 32 years old. I'm 32. And, yeah, I'm like, I just got a new iPhone. And then I programmed it, you know?

The thing that is still, that is, I mean, we talked about at the beginning, but it is so shocking in these, in these epics still, especially, like, said in Egypt, that has not changed since, like, Cecil Bede-Mill did the Ten Commandments, is the full-blown whitewashing. Oh, yeah. Every single character, except for Chiled with Bozeman. And slaves.

Yeah. And Chadwick Bozeman is kind of playing, again, like, like, the magical. Yeah, we got to talk to this guy. He knows more than us. Like, which is also a stereotypical kind of legend of bagger vance. Like the wise black man. Yeah.

I feel like Chadwick Boseman in this movie, to me, was what I imagine Gina Greshon was like for showgirls, and that, like, she was like, I get what this is. So let's have fun. Yeah. I think Jeffrey Rush. Like he was doing a crazy accent. Jeffrey Rush killed it.

Like I pulled a clip of him, Jeffrey Rush, doing, him just talking about Jeffrey Rush now I believe only does movies in which he has to undergo a lot of prosthetics you know like because isn't he Pirates of the Caribbean Oh yeah yeah

I feel like that's what he does now I think he's like if I'm going to be on a movie like on this level cover me up as much as I can get on my face so you can't is it Jeffrey Rush I'm not sure they all played by that rule which was I think really smart if you're lazy

of like for the fight scenes can we just transform into something where you don't need us? Absolutely. It fully happens. Absolutely. And then the movie even ends on the most irritating thing. He's like, you know, obviously the good guy wins. And he's like...

The good guy being Jamie Lannister and Baby Bon Jovi. Yeah, baby Bon Jovi. And then he was like, hey, you watch Egypt for a while. And then it's just like... I'm going to go fuck my girlfriend. Where is she? I'm going to go find her. She's in the underworld.

This is how Jeffrey Rush can kind of just kill... Just kill it, right, when he gets on stage. With even a weird line. Here we go. Hail thou great god raw. Normally when a bird lands on my boat, I kill it before it can shit. What is this? You dare be no more to the source of creation.

He's valuable to me. I could not leave him behind. I think he's great. I feel like he's delivering that line, and I feel like... So good. I wanted more spaceboat Jeffrey Rush. I like spaceboat Jeffrey Rush. Again, or space raft, I should have.

What is that? What is that? What's the worm? Yep. Oh, the worm is like... What is that thing? I thought at first, this is my... Is it the worm from Dune?

I think so. The worm from Beetlejuice definitely auditioned for this kid. I read about that. That worm gets work. He's a great worm. It's a great worm. The tremors... The tremors worm pushes it.

Yeah. And this worm is always... That's the back and me of worms. There is a thing about a monster with rows of teeth that is totally fascinating. Oh, I like that. Well, to me, this is what I thought, and then I realized I was wrong, but I will share with you my bad idea. So he is the god of the sun, right?

And I thought every day he battles with the night, and that was the night. And so, like, the night beats him, and then it's night, and then he beats it back and it's the morning. So it's a constant battle. But then I just found out it's chaos. Like the snake of chaos.

Yeah. God, that would have been good if they had gone with that. I would like that idea. But you're not wrong, because it does fight during the night. He has to keep the worm at bay at night. when it's the strongest? I think, when it's trying to attack, I think. Okay.

I don't know. I mean, I'm also confused about the powers in this world because they always are saying they can't bring anyone back from the dead, but yet in this movie, constant. Everyone's being brought back from the dead. Jeffrey Rush is killed in space and he's like, hey, wake up. And he's like, oh, what?

What are we doing? Are we ready to go? I also had an issue with the fact that, I was angry about the fact that that gods got to decide what your afterlife was. Oh, yeah. That was just at the whim, whoever was ruling? That's what I mean not. When the girlfriend goes to the underworld, you see this gigantic

line, and then all of a sudden she's at the front of it. I'm like, she made really good time in the underworld. And they also said it was going to take like seven days to walk to like the scales of whatever or the afterlife. Another boat it looked like to me. So many boats. I liked those. I liked the underworld decision-making scene. I thought that was cool. I liked when they went to the underworld. I also liked the like the guy running like the like, you know, the, the, the, the St. Peter of the underwold that he decided it was like, when shit went down, he's like, oh, hey, hold on.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The underworld's closing. Guys, back up, back up. Don't walk into this. Shit, okay, okay. He became like a real frustrated, like, just manager of like a Best Buy. No manager.

All right, everybody, calm down. We're going to get this stuff that our computers are down right now, so we're not going to be able to decide who goes to heaven or who goes to hell. I can only take cash, no credit card, the machines are down. Your gold is.

worthless. I know what I was going to say. So at the end of the movie, spoiler alert, no one cares. At the end of the movie, the, you don't know where the girl, you don't know where,

Zia. Seth's girlfriend is. Yes. Oh, her. Oh, Elektra. Yeah, Electra from the Daredevil series. You don't know where she is. And then I was reading online that they were,

was this Sony or whoever did the Hunger Games. Okay. Lionsgate. Okay, so Lionsgate was like, this was at the same time, I guess they were producing at the same time or something at the same time as Hunger Games. And so they were setting this up as a new franchise that would be as successful as Hunger

Games. So that's why that has a cliffhanger ending because they were setting it up to be a whole. To be like more films. That's so dumb because I don't think people are interested in these kinds of movies. Like none of those epics get. I feel like all failed time and time again. Prince of Persia, Exodus of God. The new Ben Hurry.

Here's my question. I was like, I feel like these are movies that are made for international audiences. 100%. But then again, this, okay, this movie cost like 140. 140 million. And it made, and it made 145. All overseas.

But even if it's overseas. Domestically, or that's added, everything all in? It made like 30 million domestically. Yeah. It came out, we were talking about this before. It came out a few months ago. Yeah. It came out, 2016.

February 16. February 26th. What? I thought this movie was like two years old. No, this came out like months ago. Wide release. I am shocked. By the way, the Rotten Tomatoes score is 16%.

It was, I mean, for a $140 million movie, that's exceptionally lowly. This movie is, I really want to reiterate, this movie is terrible. Yeah. But again, the performances are good. Yeah. That's what I admire. I, except for a few, which I didn't care for. But, like, I love, I'm just, I'm all in on Gerard Butler.

Same. Yep. I'm all in. I wish this guy would do better stuff because. I find him interesting, compelling. His characters are always well-rounded. He does weird, idiosyncratic. He could be funny.

He could beat Matthew McConaughey at the game of doing quality movies really well. He's like, he could be, to me, I'm like, oh, why isn't he having Russell Crow's career? Why is he doing this and not a gladiator? Yeah. Like something that is a swords and sandals movie, but is actually good. But I think what it is, is he's a guy, like, he had his three. 300, right? Like, that was his big, boom, I'm here.

And he was so good. But then I think he's made some good choices, but the movies haven't gotten, haven't clicked. Because I think Olympus has fallen is hands down one of my favorite, like, action movies. It's so good. It's in that old 80s style. It's like, there's like ripping out throats, but he's great. And it's like, it's not like Schlocky. It's, and Morgan Freeman's in it and like good people are in it.

Yeah. But I feel like, I feel like. I feel like he's a fun-loving guy. He's like, fuck it, let's do it. Fucking do this. This would be fun. And I think he may not be picking, I don't know. No, I mean, with Matthew McConaughey, the issue was, from my understanding that the production company he had, he was just saying, like, yes to all these rom-coms and not really thinking about the movie and was surrounding himself by people who were like, yeah, just make the money, make the money.

So it might be a situation where Gerard Butler is like surrounded by. Please, we got to get him new rest. Let's represent him. We will get him some solid work. Let's start a management company. It's all called, do a movie with Allison Janie. It'll fix everything. Yeah.

I'm looking at it. Is that it? I just feel like if you go. The road to recovery begins with Allison Janney. Yeah. I do feel, like this is an interesting thing too. And I feel like Sam Jackson falls into the same category. We're like, they asked him in time, like, why do you do all these movies?

And because Sam Jackson's quality of work is... Well, just like Michael King. Yes. Right. Yeah. But Sam Jackson said something that I feel like maybe similar to him, which is, he's like, oh, I want to be in the movies that I liked as a kid. So, like, he's just like, oh, Giant Shark movie?

I'm in. Yeah. King Kong movie? You get it. Like, and I think he's sort of like, I'm in on the simple premise of, fuck, cool, we're going to blow up this city. And I feel like when you look at a lot of his stuff, he's working with cool people. like, you know, it's like the guy who wrote seven.

All right, I'll be in the next movie he does. You know, the guys who did crank, I'll be in their movie. I'll make a romantic comedy with Catherine Hegel at the height of Catherine Hegel being in romantic comedies. Like, he's making all the right choices. Jennifer Anison, great. Like, again, it's like, he's not like devaluing. No, no, no. Either gets there a day late or, like, no one cares.

He does get there a day late. Yeah, just like, oh, die. If you had as much money as I assume Gerard Butler has, wouldn't there be a point where you're like, I don't need to do, I want to start doing stuff that is actually... Unless you're just having a blast. He may just not realize it yet. You don't think so. I will say sometimes you're making something and you're like, this may be bad or it may be great.

I don't know. Right. I think it must be hard to know that when you're making. Sure. No one... Anyone works on a movie they think is going to be bad now. I think everyone's like, oh, you know what, it will all come together and it's good. We don't even, especially in a movie like this, because you're like, we don't even know what is going to be here.

Visually it's going to be amazing. and we've got Jamie Lannister and we've got Jeffrey Rush and we've got all these great actors. One of the most surprising things about it is with that budget and I honestly was like, well, this just must have been released overseas,

not here, but that it was and that they thought it would be a franchise operation, that the special effects were so terrible. Oh, they were shitty. Like some of the worst I've seen. And the sound design was like, oh, these two robot birds are fighting, let's get two pots and pans.

Ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching. It was like someone was going It takes place in ancient Egypt and it's as if every single thing is made of metal. You know what I mean? Like it might as well take place in a future society where everything is metal. No offense, but total offense to Zach Snyder because I think he set up this style of filmmaking. Like 300 was cool and different and I've not seen anything using that style that has achieved anything as interesting. Down to the old man V.O.

That was such a 300. Yeah. Like down to all those elements. This was exactly the, and it just like, that looked cool because it was sort of like you could tell, like they didn't have enough money to do it, and they did something cool and made it. Stylish. Yeah, but when you have $140 million, it just, like, it just feels like, so bloated. Yeah.

A, they had $140 million, but looking at this movie, you have to say, like, it's not like they chose their spots to make, to do, like, CGI animation here, or, like, here's this one battle we're going to do all of the movie. is always computer-generated. So when you get something like the snakes, you're like, well, I've already seen 17 of these things by the time you get to the snakes. And the snakes have no weight in the world. You know what I mean?

Like everything, even though the snakes look cool, like the, when you put snakes in a world in which the ground is CGI, the snakes are CGI, the background is CGI, everything is green screen. Then you're like, I don't know what I'm looking at. I don't know what's going on. And no one seems to, and you're right, and no one seems to kick. about, like, nothing seems like, ooh.

Yeah. Just like, oh, man. Because when literally anything can happen, like, nothing is surprising or carries anyway. There's no stakes because everything you can, because nothing, there's no stakes because nothing feels real. Like when baby John Bon Jovi breaks into Gerard Butler's house or whatever to steal Jamie Lannister's eye, there's like a, what could be a cool, like, you have to pass, like Indiana Jones style. A bunch of traps. You know, it's a whole secret.

It's three different bridges of traps that he has to outsmart. And it's as if this kid's got, this kid might as well be Spider-Man. He has superpowers where he is able to like gymnasticsly jump and bounce and this and that. There's no tension even. And none of it was real.

Doesn't even try to make it look hard. Like not at all. Just jumps through those things. He is almost killed in almost every scene of the movie and never is ever like nervous. nervous, never breaks a sweat, never is like, whoo, that was tough. He lives in a world where buildings are constantly falling down. So again, he is like...

And being built. And being built. Set builds a tower that is higher than any other tower, I think, within like a year. Oh, it was. It was a year. It was a year, and it was already pretty high up. In this world, if you're a nine-foot god and you have infinite powers... Oh, no, they're like 25 feet tall.

By point, exactly. Like, why would you then have slaves? like mortal slaves building your shit. Oh, because they are like ants. You could do it in five seconds. Oh, no. They're not going to do it. They're gods.

No, no, no, no. That's why they need their architect, which gets back to our architect. Why did, okay, why did, um, Horace. Okay. So, his name's Horace, right? At the end of the movie. The architect is the ursha. No, that's the protagonist.

Yeah. Horace is Jamie Lanister. Yeah. Oh, okay. So Jamie Lanister. Jamie and I like that actor as well. Rufus Sewell. Yeah, he was great.

He's great. No one would ever fuck someone named Horace, ever. I just want to say. If this was a radio play version, but Horace, the root word in that is whore. Oh, right, you're right. It's pretty slutty. I'll say this, like, if you're a horace

and you're a fan of the show, we do not, we don't, Aaron does not speak for us? No. You know, I would totally fuck a horace. So would I. Come at me, bro. And just so you know, I don't want to offend anyone who is. I don't want to put Horace is on blast here.

Egyptian or religion, it is the most significant deities in their culture. Oh, boy. So just so you know. Come at me. me Greek nerds? No, not Greek nerds. What? Egyptian nerds.

Egyptian, anybody. I don't care who you are. Doubling down. When at the end of the movie, Horace and baby John Bon Jovi are going up with Rufus Sewell, the architect. Assul. Up the elevator in the tower. That is the tallest tower. And they're on the elevator.

Why is there an elevator? Come on. That would not happen. Okay. Regardless, here they are. And then Jamie Lannister is like, you know what? I'm going to jump out the window and climb up the front of this building. rather than continue to take this elevator up.

Why? Can I ask you a question about that scene? Why? Why does he climb up the front of the building? Yeah. They're in an elevator going to the top. Yeah. What's up?

Well, this is why I'm confused about that scene, and maybe this will answer it or be more confusing. So they're in the elevator with the architect. Is the architect helping him, them, and why? I think he's under hostage. Yes, I think they're holding him hostage. Oh, they're holding him hostage. Oh, okay.

Okay. All right, fine. The whole thing. Right, because then he says I'm ready to die. But then he also says he's like, well, because I was confused because they were like, take us to whatever, the top. Penthouse, please. And then they're on the way up.

The architect is like, this building boasts 15,000 feet of stone. It was like, we're on Househunter's International. He's just proud. He's proud of his work. By the way, one of my favorite thing is not a joke, but I just love the specific that he had a desk. and he has like all these scrolls all over that. They're like, oh, the scrolls felt like. I just like, I just like, I'd be like, oh, sit down and got all these scrolls just like going through scrolls.

And I get that he has a room full of scrolls. And then also they look at the blueprint and the blueprint is, the blueprint is like cave drawing. No, it's like hieroglyphics. It's all hieroglyphics. It's hieroglyphics. And they're like, oh, look at this. Great design. Oh, yeah.

Oh, and this is like, this is a branch is going to have some jog. It's like, and you're looking at this. nonsense. I mean, not nonsense, but it's like, they're reading hieroglyphics as if... As if it's like just casual speak. Yeah. And they are like slaves who would never know how to read. Never know how to do that.

Well, by the way, I think the one part of the movie I really wanted to see was... When that girl puts on that green dress that he steals for her at the beginning of the movie, and this... The woman is beautiful, but she puts on the green dress, and it's as if the green dress in ancient Egypt that is for sale, like, in a street store has, like, a built-in push-up bra. Oh, yeah. Like, it is like a red carpet dress. Tits up all.

They built the pyramids and they also built up to the brass. Built those pyramids, if you know what I'm talking about. You know, the Egyptians did invent the bra. Really? That is a real thing. So maybe you're wrong. Maybe that's what they're trying to get at. It's the only thing they got factually correct in this whole movie.

Those tits were high and tight. I do feel like the movie did have an element of someone sitting behind the camera going like, sick. Sick. That's fucking sick, bro. Oh, yeah. Or them coming to them and be like, okay. So you guys are going to get up on this thing.

And then what you're not seen is that you guys are in a flying chariot that is being carried by giant bugs. Wait, what? Okay. So there's flying giant bugs. And so you're flying those instead of like horses or something. But it's a chariot. But we're flying bugs.

And remember, you're always looking a little bit up because he's nine to 25. Oh, and remember, talk a little loud. Because, like, the ambient wind noise would be there. But I think that this director, because he's done some cool stuff, he did the crow and he did dark cities. Yeah. He's done some interesting stuff. I feel like he got everyone on board because no one seems self-conscious about getting on a chariot run by scarabs. And, like, hitting them, like, you would hit, like, horses, like, yeah!

The fact. When you bring him up, the fact, this is why I said Greek earlier, he's a Greek guy born. He's born of Greek parents in Egypt. Wait, which Karen Alex does it? The director grew up in Egypt. So the fact that, and I guess, I guess that he and the producers apologize as a preemptive thing for all the whitewashing, which, I mean, honestly, that's what made me super bummed out was this guy lived in Egypt and was, like, on board for this casting. Well, it's also like it's funny when people go, yeah, he didn't really think about it. You're thinking about the game.

You can't make a $140 million movie, though, without, like, without a white cast, that is like the craziness of it. But without, like, thinking like, huh. Like one guy in there that's black, I guess. No, no, the reality is like they should just not make this movie. But also, I feel like who, for Game of Thrones, Jamie Lannister, he's not a box office. It seems like it was such a conscious choice to be like, well, this guy probably will bring in, what, $500? I don't know.

No, I tell you this, I had a meeting, a Hollywood meeting. Oh. Is it on a sunset or Hollywood? Welcome to Hollywood Corner with Paul Shea. Here you go, guys. Real facts. How did this get made, Hollywood Corner? Right up for you, here I go. I remember I was in this meeting, and they had this, like, a binder with all the actors that they wanted to work with

and who they thought were going to be doing TV really soon. And the list was ridiculous. Like, the people they thought were going to be edging into TV have had gigantic movies in the last year. So it's like, that's how far off. But the last page of this, like, pamphlet of all. all their actors, was a picture of the cast of Game of Thrones. And at the top, it was like, we want to work with any of these people. It was like, and that was their mandate, any of these people.

And I think that that is the mentality. Okay. Yes. Yeah. Every Game of Thrones person is in this coming to this. Well, that's why you're seeing. I just saw Ghost the Dyer Wolf in an episode of Modern Family. deep cut.

Those dire wolves are working constantly. But to be fair, the dire wolf was doing comedy. Of course. Oh, ghost? Who was he? Ghost is John Snow's dire wolf. Yeah, it was, uh, summer.

But he did, but he did groundlings. Yeah. And he had a comedy background. He got in this. So it's easy for him to do that. No, it makes more, actually he made more sense. And isn't he lucky that he can do both? Oh, yeah.

So, like that. Comedy's hard, so not everyone can do that. You can't always fluctuate. Oh, yeah. That's what I love that. And I love that thing. Like, you know, you've got your, your Thoros of Mere. You know, like, I want to see that guy pop up in an episode of, like, Better Call Saul.

Absolutely. Like with Jamie Lannister, this is the question I have. Will anybody recognize anyone from Game of Thrones in regular clothes? Because Jamie Lannister at least looks like his Game of Thrones character in this? Yes, he does. That's the thing is, I feel like. Except he's Sherlockless, which is like, hey, guess what we got. Oh, and by the way, he worked out so hard.

I noticed in one. part of that movie. I read one thing online that he got down to 7% body fat. So when you do that, your muscles are insane and he was wearing some sort of bodice that looked like he had breath. Oh no, that was at the end. The one that had the metal. Where it looked like he had

pendulous breasts. Yeah, he looked like he had breasts. They were just like Blonka. I was like, wow, I've never seen like male breasts like that. Male cleavage. Yeah, it was like. Every time I watch these movies, one of the first thing that pops into my head is always the diets. Of like, and how miserable they must have been. Especially on the days where they're shooting. the fully like topless, like chest out ripped.

And what a shitty week they've had. Oh, yeah. They have to like pound water. It's a male eating disorder, that shit that they have to go to shirt. You have to pound water and then like you got to get it all out. And then you got like basically like four minutes. No salt. No so.

Yeah. The fact that he went through a very depressing thing, which is that he lost his eyes. Oh, yeah. And then he's in a cave for a long time. A great cave. I mean, a really nice setup. By the way, not a bad deal. Like, all right.

I would have been happy. with that. And it seems to be what they were bringing, guys, I'm 25 feet tall. And people bring me tributes. Yeah, but where are the... Was he like, tribute sex? Is that because he's like,

oh, no more tributes? Like, he's like living a pretty good life. But where are the free weights? Ha! He's just doing... Where is it like... Lid Hamilton-style? Push up on the crips, you know.

There's no such a shing as an out-of-shake-out. They don't work out. That's the thing I thought, too. I was like, he's been in that cave all this time, and he's like, he pops one eye back in and he's ready to fight. Yeah. And I was like, wouldn't you be, like, fat and out of shape at this point?

I would have liked to have seen that scene. Yeah. Of him having to do a rocky style. Yeah. Am I going to ask a question that reveals how stupid I am, but I will? Like, he said he doesn't have all of his power, but he didn't seem to lose any power. Like, he, like... What it was was, was without two eyes, he was trying to say, without two eyes, he couldn't fly well.

But he does. Ish. But does he... Remember when they crash land? Oh, wow. It's like that, I think. But I thought at that point, that was because... Ra had given him some kind of like,

like booster shot or something. Like, yeah. Like he had a B-12 shot, but they're right now. And they don't kind of show it either. He's like, can I get that? Can I take some of this water? No, no. The guy, get back out there.

I don't. No, he does take the water. He wants the water to put out the fire, not to drink. Oh, okay. The water is to put out the fire, which they then don't do. I know. And it's not even important. He's carrying this water vial around that he gets,

he gets water from the, from Raw's sun ocean. That was just a crazy. Space is water. Space is water. Right. That's what this movie posits is the space is full of water. Yeah.

Well, the other thing I was going to say about him. Does it make the worm a fish? Well, I mean, well, then, so that's a... I mean, right? I get eel. Yeah. It would be an eel. The fact that he doesn't, we are not clear about what his powers are exactly.

And at the end, I still have questions on... Because there's a part where John Bon Jovi's, like, falling off that big obelisk or whatever. and then he goes to rescue him and he turns him. Jamie Lannister does. Jamie Lannister goes to rescue him and he turns into the Iron Bird from all the Journey albums and then he grabs him

and he's like, oh, I thought you couldn't fly and he's like, I guess I had it in me this whole time. I just needed to choose other people, not myself. But that's just such bullshit because then that defeats the other thing where he's like when the other guy, when Gerard Butler takes like the three parts and like kind of tin man's himself He's like, I'm put your brain in and your eye and whatever.

And your heart, he's like really strong. And that's the thing is they keep saying in order to beat Set, we have to like extinguish his fire with the space water. They don't extinguish the fire. So the fire is always burning. Plus, set also makes himself much stronger by putting in the brain, wings, eye of other gods, which make him almost undefeatable.

And Jamie Lannister is just like, bang, bang, bang. Ha ha ha ha, I win! I know. By ripping his wings off, that's all he does, right? He rips his wings off. He rips the brain out? By the way, that fight sequence is like 25 minutes. It's too long.

And also, when it's the two actors fighting, it looks so lazy. So terrible. They weren't trained well or they couldn't. They weren't up to it or something. It feels like they may have had training and they put on these very heavy costumes. And it's like, It just looks lethargic and, like, I don't know what happened there.

It did not look like that. Did you guys laugh when there was a moment where Jamie Lannister, I don't remember what happened, but he had his wings off or something happened where he landed like Iron Man. Oh, yeah. He was like, boom. Yeah. I also liked when Gerard Butler told the girlfriend that he was going to go see his wife. And she was like, but that's your wife. What are you going to do with her?

He's like, what are wives for? I'm going to kill her. And it was like, what was that logic? Yeah. I loved that line. The male-female relationships in this movie left a lot to be desired. Well, the fact that Jamie Lannister's wife or girlfriend then got involved with Seth out of, like, necessity. I'm not going to back down on Seth.

Out of necessity. And then she makes jokes about how she's actually his enemy. But then she turns out she is his enemy, but he puts up with her anyway. She's also, when she meets baby John Bon Jovi, she becomes obsessed with the fact that he's in love. Yeah. Yeah. This movie exists in a world in which the gods are mostly obsessed with just whether or not people are in love. Yeah.

Like in true love. But that's like kind of like one of those weirdo things. I feel like gods are these like voyeurs. They're like the people like watching people fuck. Like I feel like, ooh. Yeah. They're just always like trying to figure out what love is because they, I think they don't experience it. It's the one thing they don't experience love.

I don't think they do. I think a god of love. What about the goddess of love? Because they're just giving people love. Yeah. And, oh, yeah. She was the gags.

What about the gangster of love? Steve Miller. Well, that, yeah. He's also Greek. Yeah. So, yeah. That's true. That's true.

Yeah, it's Zeus, Apollo, Steve Miller, Aphrodite. Only some call him a gangster of love. That's not a unanimous. Some people just call him Maurice. Guys, some people just call him Maurice.

That was my favorite tangent. I want some. I want someone to make a picture of like Steve Miller in like these outfits. Like just superimposed his head on like a... He deserves that. I think he'd like this movie. Oh, Steve Miller, it's his number one movie of 2016. He was all in the domestic sales.

I like Secret Life of Pets. I liked God's Egypt. I can't believe it came out this year. Is that a movie? No, Steve, that's a TV show. I like Mr. Robot. I still can't believe he came out this year. It's so great.

That is shocking. I know. By the way, did, I just, you know, did, oh, sorry, I'm forgetting his name right now, did O, not Osiris, who is the god of light? Oh, Jeffrey Rush, did he get slimed? Like, because, like, when Gerard Butler is, like, shooting at him, it's like, he's being covered in, like, blah! Oh, it's like, love. It's the sun. Okay.

It's like, I think that, that spear shoots the sun. Okay, so he's just getting covered in sunlight? And why couldn't they bring back the king to life? They brought everyone else. They cut him into 14 pieces. Oh, I missed that. Yeah, they cut it, that's what, that's what... But that had stopped.

Also, you can kill a god with a knife. That seemed lame too. Or you can at least, like, like Jeffrey Rush would be floating there forever. Yeah. Yeah. Why do they bleed gold? Yeah.

Not just gold, gold paint. Yeah. Like, Benjamin Moore 402 is what they, is like, I did kind of think. It's like Panto 19. It is just gold paint. Because in the field, because it looks like it has like a liquidy base to it. Like, it's, like, it's,

When Gerard Butler is bleeding out at the end, it looks hilarious. It's so weird. Yeah, it's bizarre. But was it, do you feel like it was done in, I mean, I'm going to say this, in post? Or was it like? Welcome to Hollywood Corner. Because it did seem real, like real. Post means, no, when you're done with the movie, they do extra things to make sure.

No one gets it, but that's, yeah. Thank you for explaining. I think that was, just because it looked just like paint spilling out. It's not even an important question. No, I think they're covered in pain. I think they were like, and you got golden for veins. This will be the practical effect that's going to sell the rest of the world. Do you know that I read that 200 of the crew members?

Yes. Died. Mass suicide right up to the same of me. No, 200 of the crew members works on Mad Max Fury Road. Can you imagine how disappointed they must have been? Oh, wow. So much that was done practically. Yeah.

And this was none of it. Maybe it was, maybe the, oh, I guess, this came out after Mad Max. I was going to say maybe they were like so psyched to do practical stuff like we've worked on this fucking thing. No, but I bet you they have.

This is a money job for this. Yeah. You're right. Maybe they were just like it's all in the room. They're all just standing on the side of the second. I'm like, fuck man, I could have done this. We'd get a big rig in here.

That's true. Maybe they were relieved. It was an ice vacation for that. Just by the crafty table, just eating like little mini carrots. Like, man, I'm Mad Max. It would be here all night. All this being said,

I would like to be in this movie. What? Really? If they were like, you want to come and like, like, run around and throw a sword around and like whatever? I would be. I think I would do. This is, by the way, a new question we should ask at the end of everyone.

Would you like to be in this movie? Would you want to be in this movie? Yes. All right. I would have done it for sure. Aaron. I would love to be in a movie like this because I would know I will never have the opportunity. That's kind of what I'm thinking.

Yeah. There's also like so few stakes because there, if you, if you even listen to the dialogue, like, it's literally like you, Brian, you say something and then Paul, you say something. but what you say doesn't respond to what Brian said, and then I can come in with something exactly, like, totally opposite. So there's no, you don't have. You could just be shot separately. They did a great job, job acting,

but you could literally have any intention take or whatever. You have, don't have to worry about your backstory. You don't have to worry about where you're going. You can just be bananas clown style. Well, it's almost like they made this movie in an effort to be like, oh, and also feel free to remix it. Yeah. You know what I'm like?

Here are the pieces. Build your own movie. I will say I was in a movie, year one, not to brag, but year one, where you. Welcome to Hollywood, Porter. How did this get made? Here's a deal. All she is, Hollywood. And one of the cool.

So you've been to a meeting and you've been in a movie. I don't want to talk about it too much, but yes. We are doing, aren't we doing a crossover with you must remember this? We're just doing the Hollywood stories of Paul Shear's life. Meetings. We're so sorry, Korean-Longworth. I can't wait to hear the challenge that I. It's just all over the place.

But it was so much. fun, it was a biblical movie and it was so much fun to be on those sets and be like in a toga. It was actually really cool. It's like make believe 1950s. Yeah. Like there's like the chariots and

flower petals coming down. You know it was like it was just very, it is I think and I think that's the reason why you get these good performances because it's like a Western too. Like they'll always be making these you know big like epic epics and then westerns because I think at the end of the day actors

like, I'd like to put a gun on and right. Yeah, but take all that away and all you're really doing is standing on a green stage with a lot of armor. That's the problem. Like, we think it would be fun because there'd be all these things, but none of it's there. In this instance, it would not be. You would be in like a hangar-sized studio in a full green screen. With dots out all over your funny body. And what you're saying, I think the reason a lot of times it doesn't seem like people are affecting each other in scenes is because they cannot do to the discrepancy in how big or small they're supposed to be.

they can't be in scenes together. They're not actually, you're not in a two shot, you're not actually getting baby John Bon Jovi and Jamie Lannister in the shot because the forced perspective would be wrong. You know, like you have to shoot it in a way that Jamie is gigantic and huge

and little guy is little guy. And you can never even make eye contact. No. Well, clearly we had an opinion about this movie. There are other people out there that had a differing opinion. It is now time for second opinions. The movie was a piece of shit.

Person recommends it. What is the message? Part is subjective. I need a second opinion. All right, these are five-star reviews, cold from Amazon, and they are great. I wish you could see Brian's things. I can't believe.

I can't wait. This is great. So exciting. So this is from Joseph L. Pona-San. And this is written March 21st, 2016, so he just saw the movie in the theater, came home, and wrote this. I've studied Egyptology,

and I have to commend the scriptwriters for presenting the Egyptian pantheon very close to the mark. The human world was topographically not identical to Egypt and the crown of the king was not the historic pharaonic crown, but the pantheon of Egypt

wasn't even real anyway. I'm so tired of remakes and reboots and it was great to see an original film that stands on its own merits. Toth, the God of Wisdom, was a real hoot. And the character development in Horace is what this film is all about. The CGI supported the plot

instead of the other way around. Proyas has put J.J. Abrams to shame. Not one planet got blown up, JJA. It's impossible to make a film without detonating your franchise. Take that. This guy was just burned by the Force Awakens somehow. Oh, I, yeah.

Or Star Trek. And is taking it all out on this. And this next one, that guy was, I like that he was, I like that. he was a, you know, studied. Oh, yeah. And he studied Egyptology and he's like, I'm on board. Like, he's on board.

But then he says the two things that got wrong. He immediately says two things that got wrong. And then calls characters who have no charm or funny thing about that. Real hoots. Real hoots. I will say that one of the things he says I do agree with, and even though this is not entirely a successful version of it, I also like that this is not a remake of some nonsense or a thing.

This is some effort to be like, let's take. that. Let's take something and make it original and find a way to execute. Just like that doesn't. The Milakunis movie. Jupiter ascending. Oh, Jupiter ascending.

One of my favorite Eddie Redamane movies. Oh, my gosh. He's great. That means, crazy enough. He is good to try. I agree. Chewing up that scene. Ah, I love it.

Whisper, whisper scream. Making a meal out of that movie. And by the way, does that in every movie. Just somehow didn't get away with a pair. I do think that people like on these movies feel like they're not reined in because the director's like, we're going to do this. And he's like, and I'm going to do this.

And I'm going to do this. And like, yeah, let's do it. And also, I think that in movies like this, without any understanding of where you are or what you're doing, when it's a lot of just stuff that's going to be filled in later, you're not really, you're just making a choice and kind of just going with it. But can I say something about this, how, I didn't even think this movie failed on an aesthetic level. I just was confused the whole time. And that's the script.

Well, I kept on stopping it. I rewound it. I was like, it was hard for me to keep track of when they were in, like we said, where they were, what they were doing. And it should be essentially a simple movie to a certain thing. Like, he's bribing him to get his girlfriend back. And also maybe this is a simple-minded thing to say, but when you have that many accents working together, there is something that's like, what did they just say?

What did they just? Yeah, it sounds crazy. I felt like, like, I feel like sometimes when I see Shakespeare, I see Shakespeare. You brag so much. You know, I saw some Hollywood. I saw. No longer. I saw amazing actors doing Shakespeare.

Both of girls from two broke girls did Shakespeare and I saw it and loved it. That's how they were built. The two girls were both. I was trying to just find that weird. They're both fantastic. Yes. But here's what I was going to say. The idea, I always feel like when I watched Shakespeare for the first time, the first five minutes, I'm like, what am I getting?

And then it gets in. But this movie never did that click in. I was like, what, what, what? And I just never really ever found my footing after that. Because they make it again, and I know we are, but immediately it's so difficult because you're like, you can't even grasp the concept that they're not brothers, that their uncle and nephew is so hard to grasp. They don't make it easy. But here's another review here.

This one I liked because it real, and by the way, all these reviews are like five paragraphs, which is a rare thing here. And this one I like because he keeps on telling you what type of movie it is. Awesome. From Jay Benison. And he wrote, "'Gods of Egypt is a fast-moving, beautiful, fun, fantasy adventure

set in a mythical place full of mythical gods and mortals. And if that's your cup of tea, you'll enjoy it.'" He then goes on to say, this movie will either amuse or annoy you depending on your tastes and how pedantically serious

you take your fantasies. And at the very end, he continues by going, the dialogue is peppered with sardonic lines, ironic lines, and just plain funny one-liners. And if old-style adventure flicks or your guilty pleasure, then you won't be disappointed. So, well, any option, anything you want to feel about the subject is valid, according to Jay.

These are very earnest reviews, and it's been very, like, these are interesting to go through. And not stupid, really, it's not like, I liked it, you know. They're thoughtful. These are, these next two are my favorites. Here we go. This is from Nostrom. He goes like this. Truly one of the most creative interpretations of Egyptian mythology ever filmed, starting

with Gerard Butler as King Leonidas of Sparta rushed in to play a bearded set, the clever use of the talented actor playing Odin playing Horace, the lack of anyone looking remotely Egyptian, but then what do we know? Egyptian was a thousand years ago. Sadly, one of my favorite actors is stuck playing Urshah. I weighed him, I measured him, and I found him wanting.

I like Beck from his looks and style, he would have been an excellent Anglo-Saxon peasant. Maybe he thought he was playing one. Great special effects. Great special effects. Yes, I say that. Used to enhance the story rather than for their own sake. And last, attractive women.

Five stars. I want to fuck that guy. Five stars. He hit all the buttons. I love it. Swedish guy, typed it all out, put it in free translator. Yeah, maybe. Then posted that.

Well, I also think you're right. He got something totally wrong here, which is also, well, first of all, he said that, like, that Gerard Butler was rushed from the set of three. which was many years ago. So it was a slower rush. And then also that the Swedish actor playing Odin playing Horace.

Maybe Nikolai Kosterwaldo played Odin and something else. Something Swedish. Yeah. And finally we end on this. I hope it's a detective show like Law and Order. I bet it was. This is... Odin's beat.

This is from Donnie Stevenson and he challenges you to look it up because he goes, I'm a combat veteran and former Special Forces Soldier. So it's just not toothless morons that seek entertainment like this. Shove your citizen cane shit.

Because that's boring. I had a great time watching Gods of Egypt. Sure it's English white guys. Sure it's got absolutely no basis in reality or even mythology, but it's fun. Imaginative images, monsters, magic, sights, fights, and thrills.

Plus, they sold it. the actors did not break the immersion and that's good enough for me five stars I get the immersion $100 that guy was asleep after the first hour But also break the immersion What movie have you ever watched?

What movie have you ever watched? They were like, I don't know Were they looking at the camera? I see you there in combat veterans Look down the barrel, yeah I don't know Also don't bring up your military history as a reason for us to be on your side for everything you're about to see

Yeah like I get it Thank you for your service But like also thank you for your service My dad's a Vietnam vet. He doesn't start out every sentence with that. Well, by the way, being a Vietnam vet, I do. But by the way, that would be like if he reviewed a film maybe about war. He's like, hey, look, I saw this and, you know, I see what they were doing.

Sure, sure. This is a movie, like, you could be anyone. Fantasy film. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, not like. I was robbed at gunpoint, and I like this movie. So that's what they had to say. Well, I guess we'll just go around real quick and say, would you recommend this movie? Jason.

I don't, you know, I, I, oh, you seem like you're struggling here. I thought you would easily say no. Yeah, this is a pretty big no for me. I would maybe watch 20 minutes of it just to see what we're talking about, you know, just to get a lay of the land. And actually on YouTube, you can watch a lot of the clips of the film. Oh, oh, do that. I would do that.

I would not watch, because it's, it is just unfathomably long. I remember being like, oh, I must, this literally happened. I was watching and I was like, okay, I must be at least near the end. I looked, I was 40 minutes. I paused it so many times. 40 minutes. At a certain part, they literally, like, the end of the movie happens, like they defeat Gerard Butler, and I'm like, 20 more minutes?

Yeah. And then the last shot is three minutes of him flying, like, and water gets on the camera. Yes. He flies around, like, his metal bird character, Jamie Lanister does, and, like, we're all, like, going to be wrapped to watch him fly around. That after three minutes was, like, probably, cost like $50 or $75,000.

At least. And unnecessary. I would recommend this for clips. And if you're, I think it's a good Sunday hangover kind of. I like that part of it. Yeah, I feel like it's like, if you, if, like Jason mistakenly did, if you catch it on HBO, stay around for like 15, 20 minutes. And you watch the handful of it.

I think you'd be like, oh, I get what this is. I actually think the first 15 minutes is worth seeing. I agree. I think, yeah, because I like, that was where it was the most, I at least understand. what was going on. And then after that, because if you tune in, you may be like,

well, I don't know what's happening. Just rest assured, no, I don't think anyone really does. Oh, yes. Yeah, so that was, you know, no audience, guys. I'm going to say no on this one either.

But he said, yeah. I have a very specific situation in which you should watch this. On the airplane, you've seen every other movie that's on demand, and you have work to do. Yeah.

Oh, it's a background movie. I don't know. By the way, I think you're right. Because otherwise, even giving it full attention, I didn't know what the fuck was going on. No, I was watching it with Wikipedia at certain points because I was like, I just want to make sure that I'm understanding what's happening. Because I couldn't tell if I was over tired.

And I was like, am I not getting it? So Wikipedia was like, sometimes I watch Game of Thrones like that too. Just kind of reading along to kind of see where I was at. Totally. Oh, yeah. I'll do that. Thank you guys so much for listening. And a big thanks to everyone who makes this show possible.

I'm talking about Averallie, who pulls all these amazing clips. Nate Kiley does all of our research. Marisa Zites, who kind of produces this whole thing behind. behind the scenes, our engineer Sam, everybody at Earwolf, July, and you. Bye-bye. This has been an Earwolf production, executive produced by Scott Ackerman, Adam Sacks, and Chris Bannon. For more information and content, visit Earwolf.com.