How Did This Get Made? - Kraven the Hunter LIVE! w/ Jessica St. Clair

Episode Date: April 18, 2025

HDTGM all-star Jessica St. Clair helps the gang discuss the 2025 Spider-Man adjacent movie Kraven the Hunter starring Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Ariana DeBose, and the king of vague accents himself, Russell Crowe. LIVE from The Moody Theater in Austin, they go off on the Rhino's backpack, how Kraven is basically Dr. Dolittle with abs, Calypso's hot leather outfit, and if Russell Crowe gave off John Goodman vibes. Plus, June expresses her feelings on men in bathrobes and an audience member wonders if Tony Bennett was in this movie.  Get tix for our May 9th Toronto show at hdtgm.comHave a correction or omission for Last Looks? Call 619-PAULASK to leave us a voicemail!Buy HDTGM merch at howdidthisgetmade.dashery.com/Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of TraumaJoin the HDTGM conversation on Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmShop our new hat collection at podswag.comPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerPaul’s YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerFollow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheerSubscribe to Enter The Dark Web w/ Paul and Rob Huebel: youtube.com/@enterthedarkwebListen to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson: unspooledpodcast.comListen to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael: thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastInstagram: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & @junedianeTwitter: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & msjunediane  Jason is not on social mediaEpisode transcripts available at how-did-this-get-made.simplecast.com/episodesGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm

First, there was Black Panther. Now, there is White Tiger. We saw Craven, so you know what that means. Rock a wild snow vest, rock whippin' Justin and Kelly Or maybe see a burlesque show with Dick Crowe And take a photo, speed to hit the cruise control J.D. Big Paul and the Boots of June Gonna take you from the boom while the wave is the road Rebellion's a street fighter, hope to blow off steam Just a sucker punch the on-line for typically three shot

Little brother Demick, how you stayin' alive? They call him when you're badass and he's on the line Crankin' 88 limits cause they cool as ice. Cause they're bad Jim Bonny lookin' kind of nice. Callin' June, gettin' literal, Jason is gettin' lame. Junas make a show, all the monkey shots get the pain. They're just a bunch of movies, one be makin' the grade. Here's a real question for you, how did this kid pay?

Hello, people of Earth! And hello, people of Austin, Texas! Yes! We are live in Texas to talk about Craven, colon, the hunter. A movie that IMDB describes as this. Craven's complex relationship with his ruthless father, Nikolai Kravinoff, starts him down a path of vengeance

with brutal consequences, motivating him to become not only the greatest hunter in the world, but also one of its most feared. Tagline? Villains aren't born. They're made. That's right. This movie had a budget of $130 million! Opening weekend was $11 million!

Domestic gross, $25 million! Rough one, rough one. Here's what I'm going to say. I fucking loved it. I loved this movie! Russell Crowe with a Russian accent? Come on. And I got to tell you, I'm going to, I'll say some things that are sarcastic for sure,

but Aaron Taylor Johnson, fucking ready for it. I'm like, that guy is performing with his dick out the entire movie, and I love it. I'm like, yeah, man, he got it. He got some memos, like this is the way I'm going. I'm like, I'm in, I'm all in. But you know what, I might be the only person with this opinion because tonight we're gonna break it all down but first let me introduce my co-host please welcome to

the stage mr. Jason Manzoukas What's up jerks? Let's go! Let's go Texas! That's right! Last time I was in this state you tried to kill me with COVID. This time don't you give me those measles. I don't want your measles. Is there a baby in the house?

Guess what? I'm not holding it because of your measles. Is there a baby in the house? Guess what? I'm not holding it because of the measles. Get it together, Texas. Jason Craven the Hunter. Wow, did I... You could see it before it was an assignment. I started it, I started it, honestly, probably six weeks ago.

Okay. I started about six weeks ago. I watched the opening act. I watched the prison called open. I was like, we're definitely gonna do this. Yeah. I started about six weeks ago. I watched the opening act. I watched the prison called open. I was like, we're definitely going to do this. Yeah. I stopped. I stopped because I said, God help me if I have to watch this more than once and it's over two hours. Wait a second. You didn't like the opening prison sequence. I liked it fine, but I was still like, I know this is dog shit. Spoiler alert. I was fucking right. I've seen Morpheus.

I know what we're up to. I know how good this could be. I know what it is. Boy, that was, this movie is rotten to the core. But the accents are good. Well, I mean, I have a lot of questions about the accents. All right. Like, what region of the world does everybody come from?

Europe. It is, but the brothers have American accents when they want to. You know, you slip in and out of accents. Look. This movie is a referendum on the Manosphere. We are gonna Bring out somebody who might have a lot of opinions about oh, I can't imagine not She's gonna be a special guest on this entire tour with us

There are no trashcan fires, but I think there are gonna be a lot of things in this movie that are going to upset her Please welcome, Jessica. Ugh. I knew I'd be tortured. I knew I'd be tortured by a film. This I felt would be right up your alley. You got sexy guys, tigers. Hunks. It's got hunks.

Well, I spent the first 15 minutes thinking we were in the post-apocalyptic future. Sure. So that was confusing. Instead, just a Russian prison. Yeah. Where somehow I suspect we will all find ourselves soon. Honestly.

I was like, here we go. And it's cold, so you know they're going to be lighting those trash cans on fire. But then he took his shirt off. I said, that's something for Mommy. Something for Daddy and Mommy. Oh, wait. Baby talk already?

Mommy likes those baby. Mommy likes those baby what? Baby abbies. Baby abby? You call those his baby abby? I don't understand. Are you fetishizing him having a child's set of abs? There ain't no hair on that chest.

No hair or all the hair in the world. That's right. That guy is hairless. He is hairless. He is. And he is finding reasons. Oh, he's slick as a seal, baby. He is finding reasons to take off that shirt, except for an odd hour where he's just wearing

a suit. Yeah. Which seems like... That's weird. Yeah, she should have taken that shirt off. We have a very special guest tonight joining us to help break down Craving the Hunter. You know her from podcasts like, How Did This Get Made? Please welcome June Diane Gravio!

CHEERING Standing ovation! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Oh, God! Oh, God. Oh, God. There's someone in my seat, Paul. Welcome. Welcome to a show that is certain to go down in history as Chaos Unlimited.

Welcome, June. How are you? I'm okay. How are you, Paul? I'm well. Thank you so Unlimited. Welcome, June. How are you? I'm OK. How are you, Paul? I'm well. Thank you so much for being here. June, thoughts on Craven Hunter? Gosh. Well, well, first of all, listen,

there are more women on this stage than there are in the movie. That's for sure. There's truly, I've never seen anything like this. Like, this is, this came out in 2024. Yes. Dune off stage did say, when did this come out? Yeah, because to have one woman,

there is one female character in this movie. And then you lose track at the end, what happened to her? I don't know. She's gone. I'm so sorry, there's the female female pilot who's an essential part of his crew whose face we never see. Never. Now great, we never see her face.

She was paid as an extra. They were like, we don't have the money. Just shoot her from behind. At a certain point, because I actually, I thought that there was a lot of energy spent not seeing her to the point where I was like, she's going to be someone special. Right, we want that kind of connection.

We're gonna see her, yeah. And then as the movie went on I said, where is she, where is she, where is she? And then at one point I thought that was his mom. Because I had to make some... I thought it had to be his mom, they're gonna reveal it's his mom. And they got back together and he found her and now she's working for him. I would love that. I would love that.

By the way, better movie immediately. But my mind had. I wish my mom was a pilot. I would love to work for both of my sons in the future, by the way. As a pilot? Sounds like a dream. But I had to make these connections

and I had to make these storylines because none were provided to me as a viewer. That's right. Would it? Can I ask? No connective tissue. I have a question, and you very well may, but do you guys know which superhero this movie is directly related?

You are right in the pocket where I'm at. I didn't know it was a superhero movie. OK. Oh, wow. Wait, until when? Are you just finding out now? Honestly, until... This is crazy.

Until that guy turned into a rhino at the end. Okay. So you did notice... I'm not joking. This is not a bit. I didn't know. I just thought this is a story about a man who can talk to animals. So sort of like a Dr.

Doolittle with abs. Yes. I got to tell you, Jess, I'm not I'm not that far off. I also got that's right. I do and high five door. I also that's not my kind of superhero what he's a he's an assassin he's a murderer and I agree with a lot of what he's doing and I do see his eyes turning and I do see he can scale walls aside from that aside from scaling wall like lions you tell me right would it surprise you if I said this character.

Oh, you're not going to reveal it just yet. I'm not going to reveal it. Is primarily known as a villain. What? Is the villain to a very popular superhero. Spider-Man. It is a Spider-Man villain. This is Kraven the Hunter, a huge Spider-Man villain.

Is that true? Huge, yes. See what I was going to say I agree they are trying to weirdly make him a hero in this movie and he is a villain well that's no no problem I primarily for a storyline in the spider-man comics where he kills spider-man buries him in the ground and then then lives as Spider-Man, trying to be a better Spider-Man. Well, that's a dick-boo. Boiler alert for Craven's last hunt.

And so to watch this, I was like, this is mystifying. Wow. By the way, I do have, I mean, I have that issue with Disney movies now, too, where every villain has to, like, have all humanity restored. And I'm like, let a villain be a villain. Sometimes Scar is just Scar. Yeah. Sometimes Donald Trump is Donald Trump. Every villain has to have all humanity restored. And I'm like, let a villain be a villain. Sometimes scar is just scar.

Yeah. Sometimes Donald Trump is Donald Trump. Bad guys gotta be bad. Yes. Here is a thing that you should know. Wait, I just heard you. This is how fucked up this movie has made me. I just heard you say, here is.

Like, people are now sounding vaguely Russian to me when they're not meaning to. Here is the problem. Here is a little thing that you should know, which is this. They can't reference Spider-Man in these movies. Why? This is Sony's version of the Marvel world. And they only can really reference these side characters. So the characters that are in this world are Venom,

Morbius, who we did a few years ago. Jun has no memory of it. Yes, the vampire, Jared Leto vampire, remember? Still, nothing. No, listen, I wish I could erase it from my mind. And now Craven, so they can never reference Spider-Man, they can never exist with Spider-Man. So they have to live independently.

The thing that makes me so mad though, Paul started to interrupt, but I'm like, I wanna say to all the men of the world, there are other problems to solve. Like, let's not be working out how we can, how we can reference Spider-Man, but not, but also Ty. Imagine if the great minds got together.

Yeah. We could cure other things. Collectively, they've probably spent over a billion dollars making Spider-Man adjacent movies that do not reference Spider-Man at all. How strange. That's fucking wild. Bizarre in the weirdest way it would, yeah, it really is.

It's weird and that's why this movie doesn't work in many ways. But I'll say this, that opening, I thought was great. I was like, I'm in the prison, this is cool. Then we got to go back 16 years, and I got to find out how this motherfucker became this guy. I don't care. And that felt like a Prince Harry and William story to me. You know, I thought we were looking at, you know, the royal family.

Yeah, the heir and the spare. The heir and the spare! Which is another lens. And if we could spend time talking about the Meghan Markle series, I'd have a better time tonight. Let's get into it! Let's dig on... Well, love that quiche.

Come on now. There were some fundamental things I didn't understand, though. One is when they kept on calling the other brother, the spare, a bastard, it was... So is Russell Crowe not his father? He's his father, but... Not the mom. It's the different mom.

It's a different mother. Where's that woman? Oh, I'm sure he's killed her as well. He's a... He's a praying mantis. He's a different mom. It's a different mother. Where's that woman? Oh, I'm sure he's killed her as well. He's a true villain. Russell Crowe is not a good dad. Yeah. By the way, I thought it was John Goodman. No joke. First time I saw him, I said, oh, here's

a dramatic turn for John Goodman. Good for him. Those are some nice residuals. You saw his neckerchief, and you were like, all right, John Goodman. You were like, oh, shit, King Ralph's in this? Truth. The fact that Russell Crowe pops in with a heavy Russian

accent, I was like, I'm in. I'm 100% in. I wish he'd been in the whole movie. I wish he was in the movie front to back. And I didn't bat an eye at that accent. I was like, got it, love it, keep going. Because he's got a commitment to it. Like, most people, when they're uncomfortable

with their accent, they're like, would they? They're like, quietly, like, I am speaking in Russian. He's like, I'm speaking in Russian. And it will be this, and sometimes it will be like a pirate. But it definitely, it sounds so much like the Italian priest, exorcist priest. And it also sounds exactly like his Zeus from the Thor movie. He's got one kind of baby. The same accent all across.

And I mean, I'd rather honestly listen to 30-odd foot of grunts. Good band. They know how to party. Well, the real mystery is how the younger brother has no accent when we're with him. And I mean none. Well, no, and when Aaron Taylor Johnson's not doing Russian stuff, he sounds like he's doing a Matthew McConaughey. Yeah. Like when she's like, did you do it?

And he switches for the first time into his American accent. And he's like, good for me, bad for him. I thought he was going to be like, all right, all right, all right. And he takes off his shirt like, yep, he's freezing cold. Most of the movie, they live in London. Like, I don't understand what is the world of this movie? Does this movie take place in a world where everybody can

be anywhere in half an hour? Like, when they're like, we think he's in Siberia, they drive there in trucks! How? I mean, there's- But I checked you were in Turkey, motherfuckers! What's happening? Ha ha ha ha! How did this get me? How did this get me?

Now I know that we've already revealed that yes, Kraven is a villain in the Spider-Man world. There's some other characters in here that are also established people. And if you were confused, uh, they really hammered home when they introduced Calypso and say her name 15 times in 35 seconds. Is she a person? She is a person. She's also a Spider-Man villain. Listen Calypso. Villain. And is She speaks... Villain, huh, period. Calypso, who is the lawyer who... Like, at a certain point, we set up, Craven is the hunter. He can find anyone.

He found her off of a tarot card. That's all he had. And he's like, hey, look, I need your help finding people. What? Wait a second. I don't know if you... Wait a second. I don't know if you've heard him, but Craven is... dot dot a hunter.

Yes. There's so many ellipses in everything he says. Oh, every. I hunt dot dot dot. People. I have a list. I love it. I love it. It's like a CrossFit instructor is in a superhero movie. It's like, yeah, man, I'm doing it. I'm doing it.

He's got a lot of assuredness in this character. And I think you need it when your powers are so hard to figure out what they are, right? Like- What are they, Paul? I don't know. I'm saying like, I'm like, yes, he's a hunter, which I get, but he seems to have a lot of powers

that a lion would have. Can I say something? He, in the beginning, is really critical of his dad for using a gun to fight an animal. Right. And he makes a pretty sweeping statement about weapons and human hunting, but then he uses weapons all the time.

To hunt people. To hunt people. To hunt people. Yeah. Okay. And usually not guns. Usually like bladed weapons. Which by the way. His armory is all like knives and axes.

When his shit comes down. But I'm trying to understand what his ideology is. What he lives by. Russell Crowe, like what he's upset is animals don't have guns. Like if an animal had a gun, he could use a gun. Oh, that's what, that's, that's it. Arm the animals. Right, Texas, who's with me?

Woo! Which, by the way, Marvel did do in a series called Brute Force, Oh, no. which is like a dolphin with a machine gun that also turned into a motor. The best thing to stop a bad guy with a gun is a dolphin with a machine gun that also turns into a motorcycle. The best thing to stop a bad guy with a gun is a dog with a gun. No? Okay, Texas.

But I think that that is it. I think it's explained here. Beth, can you play clip two? Nikolai. We should talk. Save your breath. No, it's a condition. Oh, there's the-

I'm gonna be okay. As long as I take a few breaks here and there. One thing that you should know about me is that I'm always thinking of the future. I want you to be my partner. Doesn't he look like John Goodman right now? He looks like Dan from Roseanne getting home from the bakery. Shut the fuck up, Donnie. Alexei, Alexei. He looks like Walter. He looks like Walter from The Bounty. Roseanne getting home. I guess Right, so I fuck up Donnie

You're out of your element Donnie Jason Schwartzman and John Goodman in The hunter so what comes from no name on exist? The co-ed no country Antoine Shagor hair He's like country, Anton Shagor hair. He's like, give me the Shagor hair. Teaching my sons the sword. But I believe that what they're kind of saying is you basically hunt to the predators capabilities, right? So if you're fighting a human and they have a gun,

you can have a gun, right? That's fair. Because it's fair. And I think what the son didn't like was, here's a poor lion, my dad's using a gun you can have a gun right because it's fair and I think what the son didn't like was here's a poor lion my dad's using a gun what a jerk so what in that scenario what would he have preferred his dad use his bare hands yeah or a tiger's tooth yeah guys in that scene he said to that guy it's a rhino he said I'm teaching my sons the joy of stalking. Yeah.

And you're bothering me. Yeah. I can't wait to do that for my sons. Yeah. Yeah. We need a child psychologist immediate, because this really is. Do we know?

Because it's all, I don't even think this is subtext. This is text. This is how you create monsters. Yes. When the mother dies, he just says, we go to hut. When someone says that to you, something bad is going to happen to you in a hut.

And keep in mind, normally these people are fighting a teenager in Queens. That's what they're normally in service of, fighting a teenage web-swinger from Queens. Well, now, here's the thing. In Spider-Man, when Spider-Man gets bit by the spider in service of fighting a teenage web-swinger from Queen. Well now, here's the thing. In Spider-Man, when Spider-Man gets bit by the spider, in every version of Spider-Man, we have to always see it,

when he's learning how to be Spider-Man, he does like, whoa, whoa, what's this? What's going on? When this motherfucker gets the blood of a lion and drinks some syrup, he is doing everything and has seemingly no reaction. Like he climbs up a whole building and you're like, he's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He never is like, what's going on with me?

He never has a question. He explains it to anyone. Well, because we have a 15 year time jump, so we never get to see that, but what? We see him out of the hospital. He climbs up a wall immediately. I guess we do. And he does, we do get the visual effect of him having like a zoom in vision

that's like having a telescope in a video game. Just like a tiger? Do lions have that? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, does he have a bat power? He has a lot of powers. He also, I will say this, don't trust New York City. I think it's a New York City hospital, I don't trust that hospital. That ER was way too chill.

They fly him in, they're operating, they're like, ah, he's dead. And then that doctor's just like, well, all right, so what do I gotta do tonight? And he wakes up and she's like, oh shit. Like, you know, they're like, they're leaving him in there just cooking. Like, dead.

What's so interesting is there's an element of this that is inside of, I know we didn't get to play the Calypso clip, but inside of Calypso's world, a world of like magic and potions and tarot cards or these cards and spirituality and all this stuff that's so interesting and all of her whole thing just gets plugged into this dumb dildo. Yeah. He gets to soak this dumb dildo. Yeah. He gets to soak it up and run around. How about she drinks the thing?

I'd like her to drink her own potion. Nope. She had an extra one? Oh, yes. No. When she had that extra one, it's like, oh, well, we don't have another one. Actually, I did. Sorry.

I did. I did. What is hers? What are her superpowers moving forward after this movie? I couldn't quite tell you. I'm not, Calypso's a character I don't know very well. It's not a big character, but I'm sure there's a nerd here who will... Well, I will tell you, June, one of the...

There's a Morgan in the room. Is there a Marvel Morgan in the room? Right there, right there. Back there. I will say one of her powers is to build clients with, she has great Excel skills. Yeah. Shoulder pads, she had some real sharp shoulder pads. Let me see if I can, all right,

we're gonna go talk to our Calypso expert. All right, here we go. We flew him all the way in. Oh, there's people that have jerks t-shirts. Yeah, I love it. Homemade jerks t-shirts. Yeah! Wow, wow, wow.

If people are in costume, is this a group? Hi, how are you, what's your name? Do you have your son in one? Great work. This kid is mortified. You're traumatizing him like John Goodman does to the raven. The son, for those who can't, is like this.

He's like, we go to hunt, Dad. You're doing great. We go to hunt. The son is the hero. The dad is the villain. We go to hunt. As we've learned from this movie, the son is the hero. The dad is the villain. All go down high. As we've learned from this movie, the son is the hero, the dad is the villain.

Alright, so I am here with our Calypso expert. Tell me about Calypso. What do you got? Hey, uh, long time listener, first time caller. My name's Jay. Calypso is a voodoo sorceress from Haiti. Yes, a Haitian voodoo sorceress. That I do remember. But what are her hard time lawyer? Not normally. OK, got it. I think that's like a side thing. OK. All right, but in the comics, her whole thing

is like she sometimes cravens lover, but all the time, like his partner. And basically, she helps imbue him with the powers of the animals. So she gives them the potions. And she can give them like a snake part. That's a great thing.

All right, I like that. So they're a good team. They work in concert. She's giving him access to different animal. Yeah, she's giving him access to something. Oh, yeah. But by the way, why didn't we get to see a single Smoochie? Thanks.

Yeah. Not a lot. Not a lot? Because canonically, people this hot don't fuck. Bad. What? Because people don't know that cooking up is full of carbs. Give it up for Jay. It does feel like, it does feel like Craven and his family are a bunch of incels just

roaming the country. Yes. Truly. Just like, I feel like their hunting party has the Tate brothers in it somewhere. Just tucked in like a couple of creeps. What's this? I did write down, I did write down at one point, 41 minutes and there's still no discernible plot.

Like there's, like I don't know what I'm, I'm just watching scenes, I'm getting an idea, I'm living in a world, and I'm like we should start. Because Demetri's kidnapping happens very late, right? Over 45 minutes in. Right, because the thing with these movies that I don't watch is like it has to make it, this time it's personal, right? I don't know what's that from. Who cares? But it has to be personal. Let it cook. Let it cook. No, I'd say let's make it personal. But this is the whole thing. The whole movie is like,

we can't know who Craven is because then they'll come after the people that you love. Well, he's got two. Who cares? That's it. And it doesn't seem like he loves his dad. He's really got one. Also, that's Spider-Man's whole thing. Right.

Craven the Hunter is like, I'm Craven the Hunter. I'm here to hunt Also, that's Spider-Man's whole thing. Right. Craving the hunter is like, I'm craving the hunter. I'm here to hunt you. Get ready. That's his whole thing is, I'm craving the hunter. Hello, it's me. I'm going to hunt you now, Spider-Man, little spider. When they show his little face.

I'm just curious, why does he want to hunt Spider-Man? Because Spider-Man, he thinks. Spider-Man is not in this film at all. I know, but it's. He's getting so much air. I know, but it's... He's getting so much air time. But Jessica, it's simply more... No, no, we shouldn't...

It's simply more interesting than what we saw. Sorry. It would be. I agree, because I agree. We do not understand. Theoretically, Kraven is hunting the bad guys, the poachers, the villains, the truly evil men. He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out if you're naughty or nice, and if you're naughty, you're fucking dead.

Yeah! He is Santa Claus of the jungle. His list, he says, I have a list so many times in this movie, and he checks one person off. But by the way, it doesn't seem like that's his own list. It seems like he got that list off of somebody's desk. Two, I guess two. That same room. He kills two guys in that room. That's it.

But that scene where he has that ledger had a great line, which is, where's so and so, and he says, you're standing in him. Yes. That was a good line. That was great. I like it. No, there was some fun, like, dumb stuff in it. Yeah. Absolutely. I love, I mean, I'm not joking. I love.... No, there was some fun, like, dumb stuff in it. Yeah. Absolutely.

I love, I mean, I'm not joking. Wait, do you love the movie now? Do you love the movie now? I like it. I like it. Do you know what else I thought to myself? I thought a lot about the hair, and I know that's really June's area, and I knew, I didn't think you were going to

be scared. It's June's hair-ia. It's your area. Did you say hair-ia? Oh. Yeah, high five him. Give him a high five. Boo!

Boo! Gross. What I literally thought, this is the hair when Jason closes his eyes that he wants. Like, if I found out... You, Cravens. ATJ? You think I want ATJ's hair?

I feel like if I found it, if I picked up your phone and I saw a screenshot of that guy's hair and you brought it into your barbie, can you give me this? Can you give me the Kraven? When have you ever seen me with slicked back hair? That's the hair you want! It's not! You can't do it, but you want it!

How? It's time for you to stand up and tell the people that's what you want! You think that's what I want? You want that hair. You do. I think you're projecting your desire to have me looking like this as my desire. Me thinks thou dost protest too much. See? This, this just tells me I'm right.

This acting out tells me I'm right. Right balcony? I would never look like this. Number one, too hairless. Too hairless. I'm not interested in this nonsense. Nor should you be. Come on. Everybody's interested in it but those abs look like they've been peaked on. If I played Kraven, which I would have loved to, I would have been a Kraven who fucks. Okay? That's your superpower? That's what I'm saying.

Before you kill a bad guy, you fuck this to death? My commitment to you is if they sign me up for a superhero movie, my character will fuck. Also, you know what? People with beards, every person with a beard is a bad man. Every person in this is a bad man. Bad bad man. Well, by the way, Jason, I'm surprised it didn't come to you. Wait a second. I didn't love that ellipsis.

Jason, I'm surprised it didn't come to you. Now, because the people who turned down the role of Craven were Brad Pitt, Keanu Reeves, John David Washington, Adam Driver. Everyone said no. The movie was delayed for two years because people kept on saying no, no, no. And what was this guy up to?

He was working at CrossFit? They saw some footage of Bullet Train, and they're like, how about this guy? Great. And then they put him in. And by the way, I like Aaron Taylor. I thought he did a great job. I like him.

He did a great job. I think that like, he played it, thank you. Yeah. He did a great job. He's done no favors by this movie. No. I think Aaron Taylor-Dronston is a very good actor. He is.

But this movie is insufferably boring. And oftentimes, we all collectively, the audience and all the other characters know what's going on, and Craven doesn't? His whole thing is I know everything. I'm the hunter. I'm stalking you. I'm the hunter. I'm stalking you. I'm observing you. And then oftentimes he's like, who wears Demetri?

Where am I going? I shouldn't have fallen asleep in the park with my shoes off. Yes! He's bad. He's bad. The whole thing about... He should be the head of the park. The problem is there... Listen, there are some sequences, like the whole opening sequence I loved, but then there are other sequences, action sequences, where he's, when he doesn't have his shoes on and he's running through the streets and you just hear those flat feet on pavement over and over and over. How come he can jump off of a skyscraper to the ground but cannot catch them 40 feet

away on flat ground? He can, he really is more just like a kitty cat. Like he has- That's why, by the way, when you said he's someone major's, you know, nemesis, I thought, well, cat woman. Oh. Cause he's doing a lot of planking. If he hits the ground, he has to plank.

Yeah. Boy, does that look good drawn in comics? And does it not look good in person? I will also tell you... Talking on all fours, like... Maybe we figured it... It's like that woman from the grudge, or what is it, the thing that crawls...

Oh yeah, from the ring. What does she do? Crawls up. Gets you in the shower. Wait, the grudge woman gets you in the shower? Yeah, right? She's coming out of the shower, Wait, the grudge woman gets you in the shower? Yeah, right? She's coming out of the shower, Jess. That's what happens.

I'm in your shower. She's always in your shower leaving long, dark hair. I'm gonna grudge you. Watch out, you're gonna get grudged. I got grudge on you. Maybe that's the reason why they don't hook up is because he's got like that same thing like a cat's tongue So it feels like sandpaper. Oh How do you wait do you know that from making out with your cat?

I know it from my fanfic where it goes down on Calypso and she's like, oh It's in the lobby put some potion on there first put some potion on there first. Put some potion on there first. Here's the thing that got me is Craven seemingly has been living in the jungle since he's 16. Like he leaves, lives in the jungle, builds that nice little... By the way, let's talk about what he built. I'm like, don't worry about all of these bad guys

on that list of yours. Like you have a wonderful career ahead of you in architecture and design. He lives in a geodesic dome in Siberia? I thought it was gorgeous. I wanna see that in Dwell magazine. Me too. Also, there's no way,

also he lives in the middle of Siberia and there isn't snow on the ground once. That's global warming. Yeah. I had an issue with this. I don't know if anyone captured it. When Craven goes to have that fun run in the middle where it's like Craven in the city and he goes to visit his...

Like Caroline in the city. Or Sex in the City. That's right. The more popular one. I would have loved it. Caroline in the City, yes. Very popular. Give it up for Leah Thompson. What is it? Leah Thompson, a classic lady of the age. I would have loved it. The Caroline in the City, yes. Very popular. And it is. Oh.

Give it up for Leah Thompson. Leah Thompson, a classic lady of the 80s right there. Love Leah Thompson. No, no, no. I would have loved it if in the middle of this movie, Craven had been on a date with Samantha. From Sex and the City. Rawr.

Rawr. And he was like, rawr. And she was like, honey. Yeah. That's a great pair. So when he goes to surprise his brother in his loft, his brother's in the shower. And when he comes out of the shower, he's in a full bathrobe. I noticed that.

What's that? So, what's there, unless you have a very large shower, like at the gym sometimes. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Can I have a question for June? June, how do you feel about men in a bathrobe? That's such a great question. It's a good area.

I only want to see a man in a bathrobe at a spa. Great. I don't want to see men in bathrobes at home. Here's what I'm not interested in, wearing a bathrobe. Get it off of my body, get it out of here. Although, June, we have a friend who hooked up with somebody who had not only a bathrobe for themselves, but one for their overnight guests. Was it Nick Nolte?

That's true. Was it Nick Nolte? Yes, it was Nick Nolte. But Jason, if you slept with someone and then they're like, here, you want this extra bathrobe? I'm not fucking touching that. I'm in their house? Yeah. It's clean. It's been? Yeah. It's clean.

It's been laundered. That's wild. I think it's... It definitely throws a lot more questions out. I know, but it also depends on the size, because, like, I'm okay with a really oversized bathroom where a man looks really tiny. Yeah, because I think that's fun.

So you want him to look like it's a home alone scenario. Yeah, he's like so small in it. But I don't love when like the hem of it is right here like an A-line skirt. I don't want it in a kimono. Yeah, I don't want to see that. You don't want a kimono cut? No. Yeah.

Why is his name Craven? Great question, Paul. I believe his last name is Cravenoff. Well, they pronounce it different. They pronounce it Cravenoff. Right? So should it be Craven? But his American accent. It's Craven.

What's up? Hey, I'm Craven. I'm Craven. I'm Russian born, American schooled. I live in Siberia. I'm an international man of mystery. That's a hinge profile. I am not going to click on.

I've got an A-pack, but I don't fuck. Seriously. Because of my cat's tongue. Ah. Don't swipe on me if you aren't cool with me wearing fur. Okay, speaking of fur, to jump to the end of the movie. Now that I know he's Spider-Man's villain, it's all making a little bit more sense,

but also, no, it's not at all. Nothing's helping me. Yeah, because I did get that he was becoming a villain when he put that sweater vest on. It's here. It's here behind us. This is the iconic, even, like, the lion's mane vest. So, he was given that vest by his dad, who he killed. But then the brother's like,

oh, by the way, dad left you something. So, at that point, the dad must have been like, I guess my son's gonna kill me. But here's the thing, the story, Dad left you something. So at that point, the dad must have been like, I guess my son's going to kill me. But here's the thing. The story between him and his brother, the brother is so upset that his. The chameleon. Yes.

The chameleon is so upset that Craven left him when he was 16 years old. As he should be. But I thought that Dad said the brother was going back to school in New York. I believe he did. He did. So that's a great life. Yeah.

It was the life his brother had before, and it is away from his father. June, think about it like this. 16 years ago, in New York, impressions were just not a big form of entertainment. So you have this impressionist go there, and be like, we don't want to see impressions of Tony Bennett. Well, that's why he had to open a piano bar in London.

So he came to New York with great. He was like the next Rich Little, Fred Trevely. And he's like, buddy, you should have been here in the 80s. That's when impressions were big. You know, and then I know. I guess I just didn't understand why. The brother was painting this as though he had been left with the father the whole time.

Yes, I don't think that that was true. That's how was true. No, because the father wants to keep Craven with him. He says, you will stay here with me and we'll send the bastard away, basically, is essentially what he's saying. He's trying to Jon Snow him to the wall. Right. I think it's because he sent him to Fordham and he really wanted to go to Columbia. Oh, Jesus. I actually thought it was a big problem in the movie because you know the save the cat

moment right? Well they didn't save the cat they killed that lion. They killed it first of all. To be clear, that was not saved. And then you're like oh I thought Craven was a big dick when he left him behind I'm like why don't you bring Demetri along you know like put him in a side saddle. You know what I mean? He can like- Have Demetri learn how to fly the helicopter. Thank you.

He does help Demetri- And when he left him behind, he goes, I won't be gone forever, fuck you. You leave me with my abusive dad, what do you think's gonna happen to me? I'm gonna turn into a chameleon. He does. Well, by the way, he doesn't even turn into a chameleon.

It's a year later. So it's like after the events of this movie, when the dad is dead, the guy's like, shit, maybe I should go to New York and meet like a sorcerer? Because he's not evil until the movie is over, which is the craziest fucking turn. Well, no, it's because when he's with the Rhino and the Rhino tells him about the... So the Rhino's power inexplicably is derived from his backpack tiny back now let's get clear like I as you know I love a backpack and is this a is this an ever good is this a Tom been a topo it's not it's not even a

topo design no no it's not it's not it's some dog shit backpack it's some weird dog shit backpack I'm full of weird dog shit backpack full of nonsense scientific goo-gas. Who cares? Right. And his whole thing is he's got it jacked into his body, and it's giving him like, venom juice. And correct me if I'm wrong, expert from Marvel,

but this is not how the rhino works, right? Correct. Thank you. So the fact that you're all por... It's basically keeping him at bay. Like, he's circulating around... Let it be the rhino! Let it be the rhino all the time! I just want to say one thing. Does everyone know that Jason, in the year 2000... Had a backpack.

Had a hard shell backpack that, quote, he called his go bag, that had at any time in New York City what he needed to survive. Wow. In Siberia, truly. Not in Siberia. If shit went bad. Yeah.

Like that- So you really- That is what he got up in the morning. I got one of those. Well, I hope shit doesn't get crazy. Let me get my hard shell go bag. Yeah. You are cravin'.

Mine is a haircut. I wish I was cravin'. There we go, and now we're getting- wish I had his hair. Oh, no. Yeah. So are you saying he said it? He said it. Are you saying just that you think that the rhino should have had a hard shell backpack? It was hard shell, wasn't it? No, it wasn't. No, it was soft. It was like a fucking douchey tech bro backpack.

I was like, I'd like to work, but there's nothing in that backpack. No, every backpack in this movie is empty. When they're hunting in Africa or wherever, and they're all wearing big giant backpacks, their light is a feather. Like, ha ha ha! And the backpack's like... They're empty, they have bubble wrap in them. It's embarrassing. It makes me feel like these men can't carry weight.

Wow. Did you just give this movie, like, a separate backpack watch, or were you both watching the film and watching the movie? I watched any backpack scene twice. I'm looking for labels. I'm looking for weight distribution. I'm looking for who's using a detachable hip belt. I'm looking for labels. I'm looking for weight distribution. I'm looking for who's using a detachable hip belt. I'm looking for materials.

What Deneer Cordora is the... Are these... Are these Dyneema? What... That's fucked up. I feel I'm losing you, but I don't care. I... I was wondering why he wasn't wearing a fanny pack, because I was thinking when he's in that car, I'm like, oh, that's uncomfortable. You always have to be like... Your back, you know, it's like,

it's too uncomfortable. Well, he doesn't need all the space in the backpack. Yeah. He could easily be condensed into a fanny pack or sling. And there's some really nice attractive fanny packs he could be wearing. Well, and I think if it was hard shell, which I would argue it should be, if it's protecting all this scientific. And also he's a rhino.

But my point is, yes, and... It's not imposing at all. But that's my point. As the backpack expert, should it have been bigger, if it was hard shell, would we have thought turtle? Yes. Dangerous turtle. Hero in a half shell.

Hero in a half shell. Very much could have turned into the turtle character from a master of disguise, okay? But by the way, I will say Like what again a rhino is not synonymous for having a shell on his back nor and I'll say it again a Rhino never forgets They are combining whoever wrote the script is not familiar with animals. Or they see all animals.

It's like, I don't know, I can't tell different animals. I'm animal-living. Whoever wrote this script didn't drink any of Calypso's potions. They didn't have any understanding. It's so funny because looking at the backpack now, and I'm so glad we have the time to just take a really close look.

Buckle up, Austin. Looking at it now, I'm also like. I gave you the show on a Tuesday, they talked about backpacks for two and a half hours? I'm also like, it's, and you'll probably disagree, Jason, but I think it's trying to be a very stylish, sleek look. I agree. It's techy and slick.

I know exactly what you're talking about. It's a backpack for people who don't wear backpacks and that's the thing I get you know What this is this is fucking this this douche this fucking douche Yeah, this is the big bad of the movie and it's like no this guy is like hey I swear to God I have a meeting with Tim Cook you gotta let me in for sure I Swear to God I'm on the schedule I'm supposed to meet Tim Cook. Poor Alessandro Nivola is doing fantastic work.

And he's like, do I really have to wear the backpack? Yeah, they're like, you gotta look any better. This is the type of guy who, like, there was something major happened in his life. And he was like, I am not carrying a briefcase anymore. And then the day happened where he was like, I'm moving into a backpack. Well, because he's gotta keep his hands free. Yep. Yes. And then the day happened where he was like, I'm moving into a backpack. And that was huge.

He's got to keep his hands free. Yep. Yes. He's got to keep his hands free. Why not just be the Rhino all the time? No. How badass would that be? Because I guess it's painful, question mark?

Who cares? They do chop off the- Honestly, who cares? It's painful. Toughen up. But by the way, also, what a fatal flaw the fucking rhino has. Oh yeah, I am indestructible. Except for a small hole. Small hole that if you put a pen in there, I'm fucking dead. Also, when the rhino is...

When the rhino... We see the rhino only in the very end of the movie. Fully rhinoed out, right? And he's on top of a car and Craven's on top of a car. They're both on top of vehicles in the middle of a stampede. And once again, Craven is looking at of a car, they're both on top of vehicles in the middle of a stampede. And once again, Craven is looking at a human-rinoceros combo and is like, cool. Nobody's like, what the fuck? Here's something, here's something I actually thought was, why am I doing such high level

work tonight? But forgive me. Go ahead. This is your high level work? Go ahead. Forgive me. But I thought one of the things that didn't make it scary for me, and it should have been. And in fact, in the first five minutes, the man next to me on the plane said, are you sure you should be watching this? What? Yes. Because I kept going like this. Ah, ah, ah! Like, because I just thought, oh, what's going to happen? And, you know, he bit that guy's nose off. I think at some point. But I never worried that Craven was going to get beat. Like, shouldn't we always have some tension that Craven never

got beat? The Rhino is pretty tough. Like, until he realizes. Yeah, well, you're right. I mean, look. Okay. Oh God, he's put his hand in... I think that, and you know, as somebody who has been through this, when you get... Through what?

When you get chomped in half by a full lion, it's hard to scare you. That's a chapter that didn't make it into your book. Couldn't put it... Didn't get the rights from the lion. But that's when I think that this movie kind of posits. It's like, yeah, man, a fucking lion just chomped down on me hard. I'm not afraid of anything. Like, and I feel like that's the energy that he carries with him in all.

But here's the interesting thing about the experience with the lion, because he becomes, I think, part lion, right? We think. I think part lion, right? We think. I think part lion. The legend. Yeah. But he also has a really intense experience with other animals who he seems to be communicating with. Like, when that bird shows up at his window,

and that bird is very much so like, knock, knock, knock. Yeah. That happened to you. Hey, bro. With a crow. I know. But then he has an intense relationship. And the bear as well at the end of the movie.

And then also his own herd, his own stampede. And the snow leopard that attacks him. Hey, you don't attack me, I attack you. Get out of here, kid. With the exception of that snow leopard, the movie posits that lions are natural friends to every other animal. Yeah. Which is not how I know the animal kingdom to work.

I don't think it's natural friends. I think he's meant to be establishing dominance over all of them. Really? Because they seem like they help him out. The lion being the apex predator. But they do so many solids for him. I agree. Wait a second though. I do think in some way, shape, or form the movie wants us to believe he is talking or communicating with the animals the way

that Aquaman talks with the fish. But I just have an idea now because, all right, so the dad does kill the lion that chomps him, right? Yeah. And then at the end he, his dad, I guess, sews him that nice, like, a nice coat. The vest with the mane on it. I would imagine that he would not want to wear the mane of that line. That seemed weird to me too. Also that his dad said, let's just unpack that note. I am you, you are me. Thanks for the gift, I'm wearing it.

Is weird. Like, he doesn't want to be his dad. No, I think his dad's like, as much as you don't want to be me, you are. Fuck you, I'm dead. Bye. Here's the thing. What's crazy in this movie is the stakes are so high. They're going all over the world. Everything that's happening has massive, massive,

like evil is being perpetrated all over the place. And all of it is because of each of these men's reaction only to Russell Crowe. He has birthed all of it is because of each of these men's reaction only to Russell Crowe. Yeah. He has birthed all of this people because Novolla is also like, I couldn't get your father to like me, so now I'm the rhino. But no, no, he doesn't want to be the rhino. He's trying to get the super soldier serum.

Like he's like, I get rid of... No, no, no, he doesn't want to be the rhino, but he wants to be strong. Strong. To impress Craven's father. Here, but here's, there's, the bummer about this movie is there is such a better movie in there about a son who has been abused by his dad and doesn't want to become that man. And in this over-correcting effort to not become him, he becomes exactly who his father is.

But that's not this movie at all. Because in the journey to do that, like we never get to emotionally see that that's anything he's challenged with. We don't, the movie is not interested in his interior life at all. And so- I don't think he is. And I don't think he is either.

He's not interested in the least. When he puts on that vest, we are sort of left to believe like, oh yeah, the vest turned you. You know what? And I swear to God, I guarantee you this is how they sold it to Aaron Taylor Johnson. It's the Godfather. You're Michael Corleone. Wow.

The father is the Godfather and you are trying your best to be good, but at the end, you're bad. But you're a bad guy. But he's not a bad guy. I don't think that's what this show does. He's not bad. He's never bad, right? The brother's bad. He's not bad, and then he puts on that coat.

He's not bad. Of course he's not bad. But because... And again, I'm doing more work than the movie cares to do, but because he's so obsessed with not being bad, he ultimately knows he's seen as bad and can't escape that, and can't escape being his father's son, and so decides it's so much easier to be a villain. Wow, you're getting an applause break. The brother, yeah.

You're right. And the brother basically says, you're just as bad as Dad. You just think because you do it for a different reason. But is he? He's killing bad people. I don't think he is, but I don't think it matters because, again, this is the movie. He doesn't care about any of this.

But because he can't escape that, he decides to become bad. He's not bad in the movie. But here's the thing. If Jason's theory is true, which I think it might be, But because he can't escape that, he decides to become bad. He's not bad in the movie. But here's the thing, if Jason's theory is true, which I think it might be, like the Michael Corleone moment. I also have mentioned that theory in a different way, but. Oh, no, no, no. Just like the movie.

No, no, no. Women are a race. I meant to say the way that he plays it at the end. Because Michael Corleone at the end of the Godfather you see this like moment of him just being like oh Fuck like what have what have I gotten into but here? He's like put this on he's like fuck Look cool my new jacket Like there's no there's no like what have I become it's more like wait

Are we supposed to believe he's turning bad at the end? Yes. Really? I think that's what the movie wants. I'm not saying it's successful, to be clear. Yes, but I think that's what's happening. That's what the movie wants us to believe. Now, Paul, you're getting up to go to the audience.

Now, I'm going to pause you for one second. And that second is only to say, who is the foreigner? Oh, yeah! Oh! I can't believe we didn't talk about the foreigner! We forgot about him. Wow. And how do we get him out of our country?

One, two, three. Three. We gotta build a wall. We can't keep this guy in here. Jay, does the foreigner exist? Foreigner does exist. All right, foreigner does exist as well. But it's my understanding,

because I looked that character up, and he is powerless. Well, it seems like all he does is... He doesn't have these hypnosis powers that allow him to just get behind you. The scariest, the scariest moment of the foreigner, honestly, with all those people he kills, is when he was slicing that rare steak. So close to Dimitri.

It's like, that's the nastiest shit I've ever seen. And where's that? He just appears with a steak. Also, you know what? I don't need to watch you eat or do anything. Hypnotize me for that part of it. I think what I love about it. Hypnotize me while you're eating.

Yeah, but you're done masticating that steak. I think what I love about these movies is they're going lower and lower on the tier of villains And you're just seeing how pathetic they are. It's like I am the Foreigner it's like all right. I guess like I don't know we did all move Alessandro Nivola poor Chris Abbott what like what like a character who really genuinely we're meant to be like oh This is a this is a true assassin. And he's like, oh Craven killed my mentor.

Who is the mentor? Do we know? The guy in the prison with the bad teeth. The guy in the prison with the bad teeth? Yeah. I was so confused because the guy in the prison, running the prison, I thought he was just a warden. I thought he was a warden but then he turned out

to be a prisoner. No, I think he's like a bad guy who's a prisoner. Who just has a cool room. Why didn't he get his own office? Great question. Why is he in that prison? The movie isn't, here's what's interesting about a movie like this, it's not interested in exposition.

These movies usually love exposition. This movie says you'll figure it out. Now, yes, OK, yes. Well, this movie knows if it starts giving you information, you're going to start being like, hang on. Wait a second. All right, so, yes, come on. Well, this movie knows if it starts giving you information, you're gonna start being like, -"Hang on, man." -"Wait a second." All right, so your name, your question. My name's Letty, and, um, I have a question. So he's going to Siberia,

and he's stampeded by all these buffalo, but those are Cape buffalo from Africa. Uh-oh. So, like, where did... I love that specific... A woman over there is like... A woman right there is like, -"Yes! Yes!" -"Yeah." We have a buffalo expert. We have multiple buffalo experts. I love, I love that. A woman over there is like, a woman right there is like, yes, yes!

Yeah. We have a buffalo expert. We have multiple buffalo experts. Well, look, it's shocking because the movie is pretty much- Raise your hand if you're a buffalo expert. Yeah! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Couple, couple.

I mean, so I guess we found the first flaw. Yeah. That's it. All right. That's the only- All right, we'll mark it on the side. Tricky. All right, I go to it on the side. It's tricky. All right, I go to people with notebooks. I see this notebook. I see a lot of notes.

What do you got? Hi, I'm Brad. So there's obviously so many questions with this movie. It's kind of insane. Well, just do one of them. But so I watched it with closed captions on in the beginning. Oh, if you have this note, I may have the same one. All right, this is great.

Okay, yes. Oh, I think you do you do yeah I watched this was closed captions on in the beginning and I think they couldn't understand Russ's accent and it said this lion is responsible for two or three thousand deaths and I was curious like lions only live to be like ten years old, the charity in the wild. Oh yeah. No, this lion has killed thousands of people. Well, but now what I saw was he said 200 or the two, because it was a giant number when it was on screen, right? It was two or three thousand. It was, I thought too.

Which if you run the math back is like, he killed 300 people a year. Check out. By the way, to be fair, then, if I'm being honest, the lion is doing a better job than Craven. Sure. The lion is a better hunter than Craven is. Let the lion live justice for the lion.

Hi. What's your name? What's your question? Hi, I'm Aubrey. So you guys didn't mention this. I'm kind of surprised. but like scene for scene, especially when he first shows us like his new, his house in Siberia or whatever, it's a very Twilight-esque and I don't know. Yes!

Yes. Climbing on the trees! Right, so like his eyes are like an amber color. Yes. You see the like blood exploding, like all all of it he's running through trees. Anyway so my question is are you guys team Craven or team Jacob? I've never been team Jacob ever so I guess I'm team Craven. I'm still team Craven. Yeah I'm team Craven and I agree it is Twilight, and nothing else. Um... I didn't realize, though, that... I didn't realize that are all these Marvel superhero movies so sexless?

Yes. Oh, wow. Oh, yes. That's too bad. It is too bad. It's such a missing opportunity. It's truly heartbreaking because it's as if all of these incredibly strong, charismatic men are not interested in fucking at all.

What a bummer. I feel like Craven is the guy you date in college. You know, he's a lot of fun at a party. I know the people you dated. What are we doing? He's fun at a party, you know, take his shirt off and all that. I know that guy.

But you don't marry Craven. No. Do you know what I mean? But I'm teaching guy. But you don't marry Craven. No. Do you know what I mean? But I'm teasing you. Unless you're Calypso. Unless you're, I guess, you're Calypso. Calypso stuck with him. It was her grandmother's fault.

Daddled her with this responsibility. Sorry if you guys are talking for a while. I'm in the mezzanine. Jesus Christ! You're like the foreigner, Paul. You just show up. Hi. How are you? I'm Hi, how are you?

I'm well, how are you? Good, what's your question? So my question is mostly for June and Jessica, who I love and I'm very happy. Take a break, Jason. Thank you for giving women a chance to speak. Take a break. Unlike the Marvel universe, go ahead.

You guys got your mad am web. That's the other one, Madame Webb. Madame Webb. Bonjour Madame Webb. Good old sleepy time. All right, go ahead. Okay, so as a woman, I at the kind of towards the end of this movie, Calypso calls Craven and she's like, oh, the bad guys are in my office and I need to get out and he's like come out and join me in my chip and Joanne like greenhouse.

And she, there is a scene, there is a shot of her like packing her not a Oh I know what you're gonna say Aubrey, I'm already there with you. Not a bag, like a carry-on bag, but like a purse that size, like a big tote. And then she is in Siberia. And then... Go ahead. At the end, she kills Charlie from Girls with the Crossbow. Three motherfucka. Yeah.

And all of a sudden, she is in a, like, a... Hot look. ...smoke leather outfit? That's right. Hot look. She has many outfits. Now, I thought about this. This reminds me of your friend with the extra bathrobe.

It's interesting that you're answering, Paul. She said it was for us. Yeah, okay. So. Thanks Craven, part two. Thank you. Paul's mansplaining my question. But my, for the ladies, did she have this made and she was ready because she is the granddaughter

of all of these amazing women so she just had it to go superhero outfit or did Craven have a woman superhero outfit ready for her? Yeah. Chip and Joanne, Greenhouse, Justin Cates. So I'm so glad you brought this up. This is so vital. I thought about it too. This is so vital. It's an important discussion. You know, I... Well, first of all, I just want to say, I'm not sure... I didn't think she called him.

I think she... He called her. He called her and she happened to be on the phone and say, Oh my God, five strange guys just walked in. And so she just randomly caught them at that moment. But she couldn't have packed that. What I have to believe is that that outfit was in one of those things that popped out. Yeah.

One of those. Actually, it made me really appreciate Craven a lot more. In that what though? Tell me, is it like our friend who hooked up with the guy who had the extra bathrobe? Who's like, try that on. It's more, yeah, it's like the guys... I still don't like that. It's like the guys who always kept their bathrooms stocked with tampons when they're single.

And like just had extra toothbrushes and like... It's for nosebleeds. Extra stuff. In case I get a nosebleed. It just seemed like a really nice gesture and like he was waiting for the moment when a woman would arrive. Here's my question. Here's my question.

He says to her, I just got attacked. They're going to come for you next. Get ready. She says, there's guys here. He says, go come to me in Siberia. Boom. She's loading up her bag. Why doesn't she bring her noise-canceling headphones?

They're in the drawer next to everything else, and she doesn't pack her noise-canceling headphones? You're so weird. When you're being hunted, you do not want white noise. You want to be eyes out. All right. All right. Hi. What's your name? What's your question?

Hi. I'm Abba. I thought it was interesting that when we see him in the jungle, he is like fishing and then takes a bite of the raw fish and then goes into his beautiful house with this kitchen as if he's like living purely off the land. He's got like a biking range.

But he's like, I'm so hungry. I'm just going to bite into this fish head. You can't cook your prey in a kitchen. And also, he's like, I'm so hungry, I'm just gonna bite into this fish head. And also, he's not looking into the fish's eyes and getting some message. He doesn't give a shit about the fish. No, because I think he's gonna eat it. And he knows if he talks to the fish,

they're gonna be like, no, don't eat me cool. Don't eat me, oh, come on, Craven. And he's being like, he's doing his Gollum thing. But yeah, like the movie's not interested in him being like, grimy and down and dirty and eating and being like, ferocious, because he has to be so slick and handsome all the time that at any point someone could fuck him, even though no one ever will.

I am in the balcony. Oh, boy. Oh, be careful. Be careful. I am among my people. There's nothing scarier. Nothing scarier than a Texas balcony. This is my Siberia. I will I will not take from these people.

Just stinks of barbecue farts. All right. What's your name? What's your question? OK, hi. My name's Rena. I want to say, I cannot believe we have not talked about the singing at the club in this movie.

What the hell is happening? What do you want to say about it? Go. First of all, I don't think that's him singing. Well, no. He's the chameleon. Tony Bennett. By the way, the balcony is feeling it today. It is.

That was him. He's the Tony Bennett voice. Was it Tony Bennett voice? Yeah. That's why he's the chameleon. For one of the songs. Not the first song, before everyone gets killed. All right.

Well, all right. I'm just going to say, I don't know anything about Marvel movies. So I did not know this was a Marvel movie for the first hour and 45 minutes. You would know that most Marvel movies have appearance like you. You would be well within your rights. That's totally normal.

It does not. Why would I know that Tony Bennett was going to show up in a Marvel movie? OK, now hang on a second. I. That wasn't, of course, that wasn't actually Tony Bennett there. No, no.

She's shaking me now. No, it's Tony. Paul, walk away. Bennett's voice. I understand that. But it's not, right? It is, honey. It is.

But you just said it wasn't. It's not him, but it is honey it is but you just said it wasn't it's not him but it is his voice so what they did was they played the song and he went like this I think what she's saying is she's surprised yes we've heard him do voice cuz I was surprised too we've heard him do voices we've heard that he's it like an amazing impressionist, but we have not known up until that point. I'm going to be honest. Keep on giving her the mic. I'm speaking, babe.

I knew he was mocking it. I knew he was mocking the voices. No, I don't. You guys are doing great. Just hang on. It was good. What do you got over here? All right. So we talked about how this is a sexless movie, and we talked about how we kind of all got the freaking ick when he walked on all fours. So we think that's why Calypso didn't have sex with him,

because she saw him walk on all fours and got the ick. Oh. I don't think so. Wow. I don't think so. I think they... She wasn't into him because the bosses were like, no, they don't fuck because we don't show that to young people.

So you don't even think there was an undertone. I didn't even feel much of an undertone. I was looking for it because I know they are partners in the comics. Yeah. I mean, again, I had to create sexual tension between him and the pilot. I had to create it between him and Calypso. Can I just make my way through the movie? I'll be completely honest. There was more chemistry between the brothers than anybody else.

I was like, when are we going to white lotus this shit? Let's go! Let's go! Demetri, jerk your brother off! Let's go! Let's go! Demetri, jerk your brother off! Oh, Jesus! Let's go! Come on, Marvel! Texas?

Tejas? I did. I think there is a deleted scene I saw where he jerks off a bear. OK, OK, Paul. Well, that's how he gets him to attack his dad. Yeah.ks off a bear. Okay, okay, Paul. Well, that's how he gets him to attack his dad. Yeah.

Oh my God. He's like, I need you to kill my dad, and the bear's like, what's in it for me, bro? I auditioned to play the bear. Obviously, we had opinions about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions. I'm Susan. I'm Letty. I'm Ellie. Second opinions. second opinions. In Siberia, then in London, the Craven hunts tonight.

Dreams of mommy and scary spiders, the Craven sleeps tonight. Opinion, opinion, second opinion, opinion, opinion, second opinion. Here's, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion,

opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion,

opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, opinion, Gosh, my brother, don't fear my brother. We've got emotional scars. This movie's left us totally empty, but we still give five stars! Yay!

Amazing! Yay! Great job! Thank you so much. All right, these are five star opinions from Amazon. There are 76. But. And you're going to read all of them?

I'll get through as many as I can. 69% are five-star reviews. 69%. Yeah. Craving in that bear, 69%. All right. My name in Latin is Beautiful writes, I wasn't interested in this movie at all

after seeing the trailer. It looked like just another blood and guts film with no real storyline. Now we ended up at the theater by mistake, buying tickets to the wrong movie. Someone in our group wanted to see Craven, so we decided to give it a shot. Within the first 10 minutes, I turned to everyone and said, this movie's really good. Title, unexpected win.

Five stars. I'm so curious what they were going to see. Was it Paddington 3? Paddington in Peru? Does he have the marmalade powers? Do you think Craven understands Paddington better? Oh, he definitely. Great question.

I mean, Paddington, to be clear, speaks English. Wouldn't it be great if Craven was like he had the scene with his father at the end and then Paddington came out of the woods like in his blue coat in his hat like Marmalade! Or Just Aunt Lucy. I would love it. I would love any of them. No it's a woman they don't. Phil. This is a quickie. Trend 700 writes, this is more than a great movie. It is a definitive portrait of a legendary character.

With Craven the Hunter, Taylor Johnson doesn't just set the bar. He is the bar. Five stars. Can I ask a question? What's that user's name? Uh, Trend 700. Isn't Trend a steroid?

Yes! It seems like yes. That is clearly a steroid user who's like, this dude's fucking jacked. I love this movie, Five Stars Jacked. Jacked dude who doesn't fuck just like me. I love steroids and not fucking craving five stars jacked. Jack dude who doesn't fuck just like me. I love steroids and not fucking craving five stars. And finally Dartman writes this, I've streamed the movie it's one of the best but the price is ridiculous. I'm not going to order it based on the price.

Five stars! Okay. Okay, sir. Look, sometimes that price point is hard, so I apologize to all of you. I will say this. We talked about how this movie, you know, had some moments. It's the first Spider-Man related project to receive an R rating.

So that is, they believe that that's the issue because on Netflix- So the genre of movie this is, is Spider-Man related? Yeah, these are Spider-verse movies. Yeah. You don't see a spider till the very end. So these are all movies that are waiting for Spider-Man to show up. Wow, Spider-Man is living rent-free.

Oh, yeah. Wow. They all exist as theoretical foils for a hero who's not in the movie. Now, here's a little fun fact. This character was supposed to be in Black Panther, a movie that would fit perfectly, but they told Ryan Coogler, yeah, you can't use him, Sony's got him.

And so, that's why we don't... You didn't realize that two people own two places. Yes. It's like if McDonald's, if like Ronald was with this person, the hamburger or someone else. So these are your superheroes. Yep. Your superheroes are the...

I understand that. Are the... Grimace, baby! Donald's Playland gang. Give me that grimace, baby! Uh-oh, Hamburglar's here. I want... I want our t-shirt to be Craven in his chair with grimace on one side.

And the fry guys. And the fry guys and Hamburglar. And it just says, you up? The other, the other idea for a shirt I had was a picture of Tony Bennett and it says, this is not Tony Bennett. That might be the one. No, I think it should be, Sune Pa Tony Bennett.

If we want to go full McGree. I think it should be Sunnipa Tony Bennon. If we want to go full McGree. Uh, I love it. Any final thoughts on this film? Yes, I felt much the same way the Rhino did when he said at the end of the movie, I wish I'd never met you Cravenoffs. No more cogent piece of information was put out in this movie. That said it all. I was like, me too, guy.

I much more preferred the rhino when Paul Giamatti played him in the Andrew Garfield movies. You know, I wrote down one line that Russell Crowe says at the end when he's describing Craven, and he says, he's an assassin who uses all the methods of the animals of the jungle. And I thought, does he? Because that was the one line where I was like, I was craving, I was cravening. I was cravening for it so badly. Like, oh, that's what his powers are.

That's what his whole deal is. That's who he is. That's who he is in every situation we put him in. But then when he said it, when he finally said it, I was like, that doesn't sound like the guy I know who's throwing darts and such. I felt like, I agree in the sense that when he has the yellow eyes of the lion, I'm like, yes.

Give me, like, explain to me this power set and what access he has to the knowledge of the lion or whatever. Because using a blow dart, you never see, you know, a bear. You're not going to find a bear. You know what I mean? Blow dart somebody. No, you're not going to see that.

Not going to see it. They don't have the ability with their paws. This is a movie. They can't do it. That's why you need somebody to jerk them off. Pfft. Um, I loved it. Yeah, I mean, listen.

I did. I don't know why. You loved it. I loved it because it was so aggressively dumb on every level. Yeah, I understand that. Oh, I don't have to like great I get it I'm in I like I think that sometimes when you get all this exposition when you find out backstory like I don't need it no then you did

love this movie I'm just going to my notes like oh did I miss anything was it and so I've talked about the backpack so much in my notes. I have so many notes about the backpack and other backpacks in this movie. That's the movie I saw. I saw a two and a half hour movie about backpacks. It wasn't good. Well, we never talked about the severed finger. That was disgusting.

Well, you know what that brings up, and I'm sorry, but the movie, as we've talked about, isn't interested in investigating or having any of our characters be romantic or sexual in any way, shape or form. But God damn if there isn't a grisly violence in every... Yes, so many limbs chopped off, those antlers removed. I've never seen it. When he machetes

that guy's head? Oh, too much. We can't see him finger someone, those antlers removed. I've never seen it. When he machetes that guy's head? Oh, too much. We can't see him finger someone, but we can watch. We can watch him chop someone. In a way, a machete to the head is a certain type of fingering. How so? Putting your fingers up in that person's skull. Yeah.

Just like Tony Bennett. Ha ha ha. Listen, I also, I can say all the movies I have to watch for this make me feel physically ill. This one didn't. Same Jess, same. And that's shocking to me. And what that's showing me is that the right amount of abs on a man will get me through

a lot. Understood. I really mean that. Well, you're in luck on this tour. We got some abs coming up. A lot of movies have abs coming up. No, it's going to be worse. And I saw those zombie heads on those surfers.

I'm so upset. That's four shows from now. You got some time. Yeah, it's going to be bad. But yeah, no, I have to say like, as far as it goes now, again, didn't know it was a Marvel movie. Sure. You know, I don't know about Spider-Man.

That wasn't haunting me the whole time. And you know, you and I were so free in our watch to just see what we were seeing. And I think we were the only ones not thinking about Spider-Man. What's so interesting is I wish we had watched it together only for the sake of I would have loved to have been present when a man in the movie about hunters and poachers turned into a human rhinoceros. Yeah. If you had no idea that this was a superhero movie,

you'd be like, whoa. You know what? Though, interestingly, I wasn't that shocked. I was like, OK. I could buy that in this world, a doctor did it. Like, I thought superheroes, it's like you were born that way. But I guess the fly is not a superhero.

Fly is not a superhero movie. But that's why. The Hulk. The Hulk. Had an experiment gone wrong. Yeah, it's that experiment gone wrong. Yeah, that experiment gone wrong. Born this way.

But I thought, okay, we have a serum in this world that makes you a rhino. That doesn't make you a superhero. If you have to like stab yourself with something from a tiny backpack, that doesn't make you a superhero. Superheroes are born. Hey, well first of all, let me just say. They're not created. For all the diabetics out there, I want to say that you are our superheroes.

You're always pandering to the diabetic crowd, Paul. It's so see-through. Yeah, are you getting kickbacks? Like, what? Yeah, what the fuck, Paul? For all you insulin users out there, I see you. But wait, but you said, you claimed earlier that the ports on their body are points of weakness.

Yeah, you just have to quote, jam a pencil in there. Yeah, you... That's nice, Paul. You highlighted... Edit that out. Edit that out? Wow. Wow.

Okay, so superheroes are created? Yes, like some tragic event like Batman, you know, saw his parents murdered in front of him. I thought that they were born like something's off. No, I mean... Wait, what do you mean something's off? I'm part bat! Well, Batman is not part bat. Manbat is.

Isn't he? Manbat is part bat, but Batman is not part bat. Oh, he lives in a fucking cave, he's not a bat? Fuck you, man. Thank you. That's our show. Hey, huge mistake. Huge, Paul, I want to go on record.

Huge mistake. The next 10 minutes, St. Clair is going to be on fire. She's, she's, it's like a kid who's been up too late. She's about to be nothing but truths. We're going to wrap it anyway. Yeah, see? Thank you. Good night. Eat shit, Texas.

Thank you. Good night. Eat shit, Texas. Good night. Good night. Eat shit, Texas. Good night. Eat shit, Texas.

What a great show. What a crowd. Thank you to everybody who showed up. And remember, you can find us anywhere you want online at HDTGM. All right, idiots. It's Jason. Guess what? We finally have a release date for Taskmaster season 19 And remember, you can find us anywhere you want online at HDTGM. Alright, idiots, it's Jason.

Guess what? We finally have a release date for Taskmaster Season 19, and it is right around the corner. If you're interested in watching the show, you can check it out on YouTube, on the Taskmaster app. The official release date is May 1st for the UK viewers on Channel 4. That I believe means it will be available for the rest of us in the world watching it on YouTube the second. May 2nd. Go to YouTube right now, subscribe to Taskmaster on the YouTube app, and get ready for absolute unbridled chaos.

A big thank you to our producers Scott Sonney and Molly Reynolds and our movie-picking producer Averill Halley as well as our engineer Casey Holford. We'll see you next week on Last Looks. Bye for now.