How Did This Get Made? - Last Looks: Fall w/ Eliot Glazer

Episode Date: August 7, 2026

Comedian Eliot Glazer joins Jason and Paul to talk traumatic Long Island stories, sports fandom, his new book The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Gay, and much more. But first, Paul responds to your Fall corrections & omissions on Danger D's illogical nickname, justice for vultures, the movie ripping off the plot of The Descent, and much more. Plus, Paul plays a bonus deleted scene from our Fall episode and at the end of the show we announce next week's new movie!   Buy our "1 4 3" Fall shirt in dark colors or light colors • Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, FAQs, and more• Leave us a voicemail at speakpipe.com/hdtgm• Submit your Last Looks theme song here• Join our Discord at discord.gg/hdtgm• Buy merch at howdidthisgetmade.dashery.com/• Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of Trauma• Shop our new hat collection at podswag.com• Paul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheer• Paul’s YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheer• Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer• Subscribe The Dark Web w/ Paul & Rob Huebel: youtube.com/@enterthedarkweb• Listen to Unspooled with Paul & Amy Nicholson: unspooledpodcast.com• Listen to The Deep Dive with June & Jessica St. Clair: thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcast• Instagram: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & @junediane• Twitter: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & msjunediane  • Jason is not on social media• Episode transcripts available at how-did-this-get-made.simplecast.com/episodesGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Australian checkout times, justice for vultures, and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, gay. That's right, all this and more on today's How Did This Get Made Last Looks? Hit the theme. Last looks. So I'm just going to get the disco. This get made. Hello, people, 2,000 feet above the earth. It's me, your adventure vlogger Paul Shear, aka Peril P.

And welcome to How Did This Get Made Last Looks, where you, the listener, get to voice. your issues on fall, a movie that Discord user Ghostbag thinks should have had the tagline, Fall, a breakup slatter scenario. You get it? Do you see what I'm doing there? Thank you, Ghostbag for that alt movie tagline and a huge shout out to Yakes for that opening theme song. That was awesome. I love that.

Remember, if you have a short theme song for any last look segment, just click on submit a song. It's right there on our How Did This Get Made page. at hd tgm.com, and you can also submit an alt-movie tagline to us on our Discord at discord.g. Slarge slash HDTGM. Now, coming up in today's episode, we'll be hearing all your corrections and omissions on fall. I'll even play a bonus deleted scene from that episode. Then, Jason and I will chat with comedy writer Elliot Glazer. Elliot's worked on some of the funniest shows like New Girl, Broad City, Billy on the street,

and we're going to talk to him about fandom. We're going to swap some Long Island stories, plus we're going to get into his hilarious new book, The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Gay, which comes out August 11th. Plus, as always, at the end of the show, I will reveal the movie that we will be covering on next week's episode. Now, just a little bit of a heads up. Our T-shirt from the fall episode is on sale now. The shirt just says 143, which was, of course, Dan's Secret Code, meaning I love you. I love this design.

I love the simplicity of it. You can put it on a sticker. You can put it on a mug. You can put on a laptop case or even a sweatshirt, whatever you want. And how do you do all that? Well, simple. You just go to hdtgm.com and you click on merch. That's it.

It's easy. If you haven't checked out L on Amazon Prime, I urge you to check out, Jun. She is fantastic in it. Plus, Dark Web. We're doing some crazy stuff over there. Just a little heads up in a couple of weeks. Mastodon will be joining us on the dark web. But catch up right now for free by going to YouTube.com slash at enter the dark web. I've been loving these episodes that have been coming out.

All right. That is all that I got. So let's get into what you got. Of course, we just examined the film fall. And we had a lot of questions and we might have even missed a few things, which is why I now turn the mic over to you all because now it is time for corrections and omissions. Corrections and omissions. Thank you, Chris Finkie for that theme song. Let's go to the Discord. Dell Preston writes, Do you think that the D endangered D is for Dan?

Her name is Shiloh Hunter. No D's. And she admits later, she becomes, became Danger D, the adventure vlogger, because of Dan's death. But she was also in love with him. I'm calling it, the D is an homage to Dan. Del? My mind has been blown. Oh my. What? What? I don't even know how to take this in. That is truly... Wow, wow, wow, well, Del, you got me. You got me right out of the gate.

That makes no sense at all. And I would have loved for that to be a reveal. Anyway, I must just pull myself together and get into some more corrections and omissions. This one from Noob, Noob. So I worked in broadcast TV news for a number of years. And this movie basically wouldn't happen. The tower itself in the movie would never get that rusted because it's made out. of reinforced steel and concrete.

And once a tower is decommissioned, they cut it down the three wires holding it to let it crash down safely and a controlled demolition. Why? To prevent everything that happens in this movie. They don't want people climbing on these old towers. But this is the level of detail about journalism and television I would expect from a BuzzFeed movie. Noob, Noob. I love it. Yeah, I don't know how many.

non-working towers are out there. And again, you're bringing home some details, some simple, simple details that, I mean, I guess would just unpack the entire film. I mean, if there's no tower, there's no movie. But get ready because someone in our phone calls is going to show you how it's really just a rip off of another movie that we all love. Hornichick writes, after they got the backpack. The reason Hunter refused to drink any water is because Hunter was already dead. So there was no need for her to drink anything. Another sign that Hunter was already dead was when Becky is climbing for the light bulb and drops the backpack. Hunter doesn't even try to catch it when it falls right past her because she can't catch it. Oh, Hornichick. No,

I feel like a fucking dummy. That was my six-sense moment. Right? Those are the, oh my God, she was dead the entire time and they should have replayed them for people like me. I get it. I like it. All right. One thing that this movie did great is this. Hornacek, point for supporting the movie. And now I believe that you might be a part of the movie.

All right, let's go to the phones. This one is the one I was talking about. Our friend Mark makes a very interesting observation about this film and another one. Hey, Paul. two things. First, I was wondering if anyone else felt that the premise for fall was a complete rip-off of the dissent. A movie about a group of thrill-seeking female friends, one of whom's husband dies in a car accident after a whitewater rafting trip. Then a year later, one of the friends organizes a cave diving trip to try to cheer her up, at which point they end up getting stranded and stuck in the caves. Much like fall, spoiler alert, we find out that one of the main character's friends was having an affair with the husband, which is identified through a piece of jewelry that had LED engraved on it, which signified the husband's favorite phrase, love every day. So basically it felt like someone saw that a sentence said,

hey, let's make the same movie, but instead of underground, they should be stuck in the air. My second thing, I can't believe how incomprehensibly stupid it is for Hunter to get a tattoo on her ankle of 143, which is just a dead giveaway to Becky that she was having an affair with her husband. She would have to hide that tattoo constantly to make sure Becky never saw it, to the point that it makes absolutely no sense

that she would ever get it to begin with. Thanks. Yes, yes, yes. Wow. First of all, if you've not seen the dissent, it is great. And scary and, oh, I love it. I love the dissent. But you're right.

This is exactly the dissent. And now I'm also realizing that that 143 tattoo was very, what is going on? Why? Why do we even need that clue when she's going to reveal it anyway, unless our main character put it together. Oh boy. This movie is getting more rickety than an old TV tower. Thank you, Mark.

Great points all around. And just a reminder, watch the dissent. If you people have not checked out the dissent, you might be like, well, do I need to watch it? Because I just saw fall. Yeah, it's good. All right. John Steele coming up next.

What do you got? Hi, Paul. Just a quick question about the end of the movie. When the dad tells her, like, let's go home, shouldn't she be arrested? She climbed something on private property that had a very blatant, no trespassing sign, which we saw a thousand times throughout the movie. So I just thought maybe, you know, the police would want to talk to her. Thanks.

Oh, all right, John. You know what? At a certain point, I feel like when they rescue someone after, they might have just, you know, had a dramatic moment. they're going to let you go home, right? I think it's like diehard. At the end of diehard, they kind of let John McClain just walk on out of there.

So I agree with you. Yes, she would have gotten a very firm talking to about trespassing. But the fact that her bone was sticking out of her leg and her friend was dead, I feel like they're like, you know what, we can maybe hold back on the jaywalking ticket. But I appreciate your vulture-like honing in on the details. And now our friend's Steve from Oklahoma City has a point that I thought we made on the show, but I guess we didn't.

This is Steve from Oklahoma City, and you guys are talking about how a lot of the dialogues sound like either a much older person or AI had written it, and I have some fuel to add to that fire involving a scene you guys didn't talk about. So there's a moment where Becky talks about watching WWE with her dad, and it talks about Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, and Mankind is their favorites. And the wrestling nerd, I'm going to come out because if this movie is set in 2022, all these guys have been retired or making extremely rare appearances for almost 20 years by this. this point. Austin retired in 2003. The Rock left for Hollywood in like 2004, and Mankind left for another organization in 2006. So all these references are extremely dated. And Hunter

said something to the effect of, I can't believe you still watch that, which implies she's a fan right now, not when Becky was a child growing up, which at least would have been a little more accurate. To put it in perspective, it would be the equivalent of if she said how much she loves watching the NBA and then start talking about how her favorite players were Shaq and Kobe. The whole scene just felt like something Shatt, CPT, spat out. Been a fan for 12 plus years now. Thank you guys for bringing us so much joy for so many years. Okay. Now, Steve, I'm not going to go back and watch this movie. I agree with you, but I also disagree in saying that I believe she was saying,

I watched these wrestlers with my dad when I was growing up. Now, granted, she's like 19. So to your point, they would have been retired. So, yeah, you're right. And I guess she still watches it, but she should have been talking about like AEW, right? She should have been like, Oh, C.M. Punk. He's the new mankind. Oh, man, the, the Bullet Brothers, that, you know, Cody Rhodes. You know, that's what I would have liked. A little AEW mentioned in there. Aaron from Vermont, what do you got? Hi, Paul, calling to talk about the extreme anti-vulcher and actually anti-bird messaging in the movie Fall. Why do the people who made this movie hate birds so much? I think it's unspoken, but Becky blames the bird that flies out of that hole in the beginning. for Dan's death. So at the outset, this appears to be a tale of revenge. Vultures are villainized throughout the movie, when in fact, they would never attack a living human being. Wulchers are actually

pretty timid and will vomit or defecate on an attacker to escape. The vultures in the movie also appear to be white-headed African vultures, which, as you could probably guess, by the name, do not live in North America. This aside, vultures are extremely beneficial and that they clean up putrid rotting stuff that no one else wants to deal with. They are the garbage men of their ecosystems. And I mean that in a way that should be flattering for both vultures and for garbage men. Their bodies are uniquely adapted to neutralize all sorts of pathogens and their stomach acid is extremely corrosive. So you were correct to point out that eating raw vulture would make you very, very ill. It's actually probably the riskiest thing that anyone does in this whole movie.

Anyway, I thought it was my duty to speak out against this anti-brcher. propaganda. Love the show. Hashtag justice for vultures. Yes, justice for vultures, Aaron. I knew that fact, and I wasn't going to bring it into this because there was so much to unpack. And I mean, why don't you just have a fucking hawk just go after him? A vulture, I get it. It eats the dead, but I also just kind of feel like a hawk would be scarier in a way. A vulture just seems like it's waiting for you to die. Hawk would be fucking attacking you. Um, I also feel like, it's easier to beat up a vulture. And when she ate that stomach, according to you, that acid would have maybe like burnt her or destroyed her stomach. So what about that? So yes, justice for vultures

and she should add a burned belly. Next one. What do we got? Natalie from Australia. Hi, Paul. This is Natalie calling from Australia about the most recent episode, Fall. Well, actually, I'm calling with a comment about hotel checkout times because you guys all had a very passionate discussion about appropriate check-in checkout times. And I just want to share, I guess, a fun little fact, which is all the way down here in Australia, your standard checkout time, wherever you are, hotel, motel, holiday in, is 10 a.m. always 10 a.m. And your check-in is 3 o'clock at the earliest. Sometimes it's going to be 4 o'clock, big town, small town, wherever you are. And so genuinely, I think when Australians go overseas on holidays, one of the real pleasures and joys is hotels allowing you to stay past 10 a.m. Because it feels like you're really doing something sort of

cheeky and naughty. So as much as we would very much love one day to have you guys in Australia, I feel I've probably pushed you, and especially June, even further away from this. But just a fun little fact from the land down under. Thanks very much, guys. Bye. Oh, Natalie, this has been an interesting point of contention here. Many people have written in, but hey, man, let me tell you what it's really like.

And what I found out was, yes, many of our. check-out times and check-in times were changed post-COVID. But the way that you just described Australia, fuck that noise. 10 a.m. 10 a.m. I'm just going to have to buy extra days. I'm going to have to buy extra days so I can leave like a civilized human fucking being. All right, everybody, it is now time for a quick break. But when we come back, we'll have more corrections and omissions coming your way,

including some inside info from a crew member who worked on the movie. So stick around. Welcome back. Before we hear more your thoughts on fall, I must remind you all to tune in to our classic episode re-release every Tuesday. This week's classic episode was the movie Gooby with guest Nathan Fielder. Next week we'll be revisiting an oldie but a goodie on the Vanilla Ice cinematic masterpiece, Cool as Ice. We should pair it up with the interview with Vanella. Pretty crazy interview because I don't think he knew why he was there. Oh, look at this. Scott's telling me we are going to include that little section there. Yeah,

Vanilla Ice did not know what the premise of the show was. He just showed up and it was a nice guy, but remembered nothing about the movie. But it's still a fun interview because I believe he talks extensively about being a juggalo. And I think now that is over. So we can look back at the good times when Vanilla Heiss was a jugglo. And now look forward to him being the only person who didn't cancel out on the Trump Fourth of July party. then they canceled on him. Anyway, check out our replays every Tuesday, but I say like, tune in. Subscribe. If you're subscribed, it will just pop up. You don't have to do anything, right? It's easy. And if you're following us, even better, it helps us. It really does. Anyway, back to the Discord. Sean McBee writes, think how much more quickly Becky could have gotten a text out if she had just

strapped her phone to the drone and let it drift gently down to ground level instead of trying to fly it all the way to the motel with a dumb note. Oh, boy. Sean, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, all that drama, and I still don't believe it would have gotten that far. I knew it went out of range, but I still think that was a real, a real long shot. All right. Next up, Dove writes, Director Scott Mann felt the need to add himself to the return address label on the box of Dan's Ashes, where you can see the funeral home is on Scott Avenue in Man, Arizona. Sadly, you can't see Becky's address since her last name and address are covered by the red cremated remain sticker on the box. No idea how it would have made it to her. Yeah, you know what? I don't blame this on Scott Mann. I say this is the production department trying

to have some fun and, you know, impress the good old director. And I think the director would have been like, oh, that's good. That's fun. I like that. But yeah, they should have been more concerned about making the package actually be something that could have been delivered. That image is even funnier when you see it covering it up. It just says Beck. Not even the last name. Fun Facts 47 writes, When it's revealed that Shiloh has been dead,

we see a vulture feasting on a corpse. Later, Becky kills the same vulture and eats it for sustenance. Does this make Becky a cannibal since she's getting nutrients from her friend's remains? Oh boy. You know what? You, you, you, you, you, I got a sick Aaron from Vermont on you, okay? Fun Facts 47. Come on. Let's not shit on the vultures. Sneaky's, Iber writes. New here, but longtime listener. I worked on the fall and the upcoming fall to wait what, whoa, whoa, whoa. And as the director knows, I did find one plot hole that didn't get brought up by anyone. So hunters, phone is at the bottom of the tower in pieces after the unsuccessful shoe drop. Then they use Becky's phone to fly the drone. But why would Becky have the drone app on her phone when the drone belongs to Hunter? You know, here's what I'm going to say. Why is the D in her name? Is that the one? That's the one that I really feel like we need the answer on sneaky zebra. Yeah, I'll buy that. But I mean, yes, that's a nitpicky note.

But there are so many other grand details that were left on the table. Anyway, Sticky Zeber continues to write. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Fall was a pandemic made movie with a low budget, and I think the team did an incredible job filming it. And the post-production was crazy. I'm reminded of this every day at work since the tower platform, stunt vulture, and backpack still sit in our office.

Just to let you know, I sent the episode to Scott. Man, no, no, sneaky zebra, we're not supposed to do that. the writer and director of Fall and the writer and producer of Faltoon, he said, this was very funny, loved it. Scott is really awesome, so I'd love to see him get even more success. Cheers, Gary, the guy who sent the Jason X posters to you many, many years ago. Well, I appreciate the posters, but sneaky zebra, don't do that. Don't, don't send anything to the writers and directors of this stuff. We don't want to do that.

We like Scott Mann. Scott Mann did a great job. You know, I think that honestly, like we said, it is a fun movie. And with all these inside pieces of info, you gave us nothing about Fall 2 that I want to know more about. Anyway, wow. You know, writing about that sneaky zebra, don't go in here and bust our game by send it to one of the people out there. That's, I don't know. I don't like it.

I don't like it when people go. I told them what you said. Not to say that's an impression of sneaky zebra. but yeah, leave it. Marr, you know what, there's only one winner here today, and I apologize because it came up so early. But yeah, Del Preston, you are the winner. The Dane Drew D connection is bigger than anything at all. And, you know, Dell, since we talked a lot about hotel checkout times, I wanted to make sure that you wake up on time whenever you have to leave a hotel. So your prize is, I am going to give you a personalized wake-up message. All you got to do

is save this audio and set it as your alarm clock ringtone. Pretty good, right? Here we go. Ready. Good morning, Del. This is your hotel concierge. Peril Paul telling you, it is time to wake up and get your little butt out of bed. You heard me, Del.

Wake up now because there are some girls stuck on a tower and they're sending the drone right to your room. don't hit that snooze button okay don't be a fucking asshole this hotel has to change over and you got to save some girls lives so you think about that when you say just five more minutes oh i know you're tired i know you need to shower and eat your continental breakfast it's just a waffle it's not that great of a deal okay it's a fucking toaster waffle man so get packed get your ass out of there don't try to go swim in 10 minutes before checkout time okay save the girls and help a hotel. All right, wake up, wake up, wake up. There it is. What a prize. And for all you losers out there, jealous that you didn't get your own wake up message, just delete

the part where I say Dell. But you can also try to win a brand new prize next episode by leaving us a voicemail at speakpipe.com slash hdbtgm or by writing us on our discord. All right, coming up after one last break, Jason and I will just chat with Elliott Glazer. But first, Here's a bonus deleted scene of our fall episode where June, Jason and I try to figure out more ways that Becky and Hunter could have gotten down from the tower. Take a listen. When Hunter goes down to the satellite dish to retrieve the backpack, why doesn't she bring Becky's phone? That's what I'm saying. Okay, so that is what you say.

Or bring Becky down, which still seems a lot safer than sending Hunter back up. Well, I think that they can't, like the satellite. dish is not a safe place to to be. I think they want to be on the platform. But I agree with you. Moving down has got to be the priority. It has to be.

I really was like, they don't try and fashion any kind of tension thing. Like they could have, I was like wrap the rope around the post. Right. So that it is tense, because they've got climbing harnesses. They've got like, they've got some gear. So

that you can, the way that guys do the telephone pole. Yeah, right, right. Kind of what you're talking about earlier, June, where they lean back into it. But you can create tension around the, around the pool with a, they've got 50 feet of rope. We saw that in the lumberjack show, June. I saw the guys do that. One of them could have using some sort of tension and release, tension and release gotten themselves at least.

somewhere down the hole to get a signal. Well, they keep on saying, they keep on saying like, where is high or higher than the Eiffel Tower. And I think that's meant to tell you that there's no signal. But correct me if I'm wrong, that's where signal would be, right?

Because it's satellites in the sky. Like, it seems like by going higher. It seems like they're going higher. Well, I don't know. I mean, you don't get signals on planes without Wi-Fi up there. But is a satellite? I think they're trying to tell us that they are above, the tower, above cell towers, you know?

Yeah. I mean, I agree. This is a problem that all modern movies have is how do we kill the cell phones? Right. Yeah, I mean, and look, and again, I will buy, I will buy it. According to online, which I'm not going to go deeper in, it says about 2,000 feet above the ground, you will not be able to get cell phone service. Okay, and that's where they are. They're like 2,600 feet above, so.

But, okay. So. All right, welcome back, everybody. Without any further ado, it is now time for Jason and I to chat with Elliot Glazer. Elliot's hilarious essay collection called The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Gay, comes out August 11th, and we're going to talk about that and so much more. I love Elliot. So take a listen right now.

Midwest Shakes hit the theme. Just chat. Just chat. Paul and Jason on the mic. like to cut the fat. Just chat. Just chat. I got beef with John Langeois, but that's a different rap. Just chat. Just chat. Just chat. Oh my gosh, Elliot, we are so excited to have you here. What a treat. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to actually be here. I mean, can you believe it? Right here on Zoom. I mean, heartbreaking, heartbreakingly, Paul and I were just

in New York. We could have all hung out together. Oh, I'm in L.A. Wait, what? Yeah, I'll stop this recording. We're all meeting in person. I think everyone just assumes I'm in New York from my work and my face. Yeah, I think I thought you were still a New York person. Have you always been in L.A. person and I just didn't know, or is this here? No, I've just, I've been here for, well, I've been here for like 10 years now.

Oh, yeah. What the fuck am I talking about? But here's what I'm going to say, it's good to have people assume that you're in New York. York. Like, that's not a bad assumption, right? Like, you know, it kind of makes you cooler. I mean, I still have a 9-17 phone number and I feel like that establishes me in some. Oh, the 9-17 boys? I love this. Oh, I love that. Oh, my God. I got that as soon as I could when it, because you're from Long Island too, Paul. I mean, I wanted to get rid of my 516 as soon as I possibly could. Yeah. Hate that 516. Can't, can't, can't, what part of Long Island are you from? I'm from Smithtown where didn't you work at the Blockbuster there?

I worked at the blockbuster in Sciasset. Oh, okay. Smithtown was a place that I hung out and had a lot of acclaim. The Smith Haven Mall was in Smithtown. Of course. Yes, of course. You know, there's a lot of time I spent in Smithtown. You know, we're Suffolk Boys. I mean, Suffolk Boys is a whole different thing.

And that was a gang you guys belong to? Yeah, the Suffolk Boys. Come on. The Suffolk Boys. Sayosite is where my grandma lived. And so we would go to the picket lane, like, pool and tennis. club, which was basically just like a country club for Jews. We were not invited anywhere else.

I mean, look, at least you got to a country club. My family, we did nothing like that. There was no even knowledge that there were camps going on in the summer for kids. Oh, really? That just stopped early on, and I was like, you're at home all the time. And I was like, okay. And I actually loved it. I mean, I didn't like my camp experience early on, but then it was like home with no options,

None. Right. Of course. Well, for me, I mean, I, you know, so many Jews go to sleepaway camp, but I was so neurotic and remain, I would say remain so, but I was so neurotic that I was just like, I'm not leaving home. Are you kidding me? Like, that wasn't even on the table, sleep away. I'm going to sleep somewhere else. Like, oh, I had the exact opposite. I was the exact opposite. I was, my parents made me stay home and wouldn't allow me to go to camp. And so the only thing I dreamt of was getting to go to, having the independence. of going to sleepaway camp. I was such a, I mean, honestly, I was such a nervous wreck as a kid that there was one summer.

Actually, Paul, do you know what Eustan is? No. Usenan is this, like, arts camp, like a summer camp on Long Island in, like, Hawaiian dance or something. Okay, sure. That's super duper artsy. It's all art. It's, like, creative arts for kids. And I went there one summer.

I think I was, like, eight years old. And that summer, I watched something on TV that was. was like a shitty tabloid show where they did a whole thing about these aliens that came down to Earth and, like, essentially crashed a bunch of friends, like, in a camping, a weekend of camping in the woods. And, like, from what I remember, the big green aliens, like, molested these nude people from behind. And it destroyed my brain. And so that whole summer, I was in crippling fear of being abducted, or at least, like, molested by aliens. So, U-Sstand was a nightmare. I think the sad news for you is that our listeners are absolutely going to figure out what that was that you watched.

And they're going to start sending you stills from that image. We will cure you of this by exposure therapy. Yes, yes. Next year, you're going to camp. I went to LaSalle Military School Camp. That was the one that I went to. And military school camp doesn't really feel like it was. works, a very incongruous terms, right? Because it's like, and it was very organized and very,

you know, a lot of authority. But I remember that my parents did take me out when I said, the men that are watching us, like, stand in the bathroom while we pee. Now, I don't think it was sexual, but I do feel like it was like, it was like they were making sure there was no tomfoolery going on. But they were, just to have, like, to be peeing in front of your counselors, it struck me as weird. I'm a big believer in this with my own kids where I'm like, just tell us what's on your mind. Like, we don't, don't, like, and if it hits you as weird, we may not be able to label it. We'll get you out of there.

Wait, why were you at military camp? Were you a bad kid? No, I just, I mean, look, I believe that my parents were ill-equipped to make smarter decisions about, like, they didn't think, like, oh, military school, that won't be fun. Like, you know, that, like, you know, it's like, or like, what is he into? Like, I was just forced into camps where it was like, you're going to be doing sports all the time, which is for me, it was like, no, I didn't want to do that. You needed the arts camp.

I did. I just needed something. You stand. Yes, I should have gone there and gotten abducted. No, but it's a funny thing because now I look at camps for my kids and it's like Star Wars camp. And, you know, it's every, it's everything, magic camp, all this stuff. I think back in Long Island it felt like kickball, baseball. That was it.

You're like, it was this sports separated by buggy. Was the military school camp anything like? Like, was it just normal camp activities, or were you doing, like, boot camp kind of stuff? Were you doing military stuff? I remember that it was just a lot of, we had to march on lines or painted lines around the entire camp. Oh, yeah. And we had to, like, stay on the line. So your summer was spent marching?

Marching on lines. And doing, like, marching callouts like, I don't know what I've been told. Yeah, essentially. And I believe that there were, like, some sports in there, but the sports were not. not even like the sports that I hated. These ones, I hated even more. It was like fencing. Like, you know, it was like, you know, it was like, like things that were not fun as a kid.

I have no offense to people out there who love fencing. But, you know, you don't want to be putting on that. By the way, good for you, Paul, for saying that. Because it just sounds like the whole camp was a punishment. Yes. And I'm sure it might have been. Like, and that's the other thing. That's where my parents didn't probably go like a, like a smidge deeper into it.

Like, what is this? They probably just heard, oh, yeah, LaSalle Military School camp. That would be fun. Is that in like Stony Brook or something? Gosh, you know, I'm going to Google it as we are talking about it. By the way, let me just tell you, your book, which I say to everybody, pre-order that stuff now. That makes a very big difference in book sales and everything like that. It's coming out next week.

You can maybe see Elliot out there. But I love your book. I am such a fan of this kind of writing like the, I look, we all love David Sedaris. I feel like you are not David Sedaris. And if you like David Sedaris, you will like this book. I think you have your own style that's beautiful and funny and dirtier and awesome. I'm just saying like, but this is like, if you like books like this, you're going to love it. It's a great collection of essays.

Well, thank you. And I feel kind of like a dumber David Sedaris. I mean, my publishers were very kind initially when I signed on with them. And they're like, it is, it's very David Sedaris adjacent. And I would never, I would never be compelled to compare myself to. him. I like to think that, you know, I think the goal for me in this being my first, you know, book of comedic essays was essentially to sort of strike that balance between like normal, like, L-O-L-Dum conversational comedy and then also attempting to be a little bit more literate,

which is unique because, as you guys, I'm sure are aware, it's like comedy is different in different mediums. So, right, on the paper, you know, like if I'm reading something that's really funny, like a memoir, there are times when I actually laugh, but something can be hilarious on the paper with me just, you know, a small smirk, which feels more literary than like, yeah, you know, hard comedy. So I really tried to balance the two. Yeah, one of the most fun things I learned in my, in the process of writing my book, too, is I would sometimes, just to get my, like, motor going in the beginning, I would say a story out loud and record it. And then I found out very quickly, like, oh, that doesn't work because it's two very different types of things.

Like you are, and it's about the turn of phrase. It's about the way that these words are. It gives you such an element of craft. And I feel like you have that in spades. It's great. By the way, the sound military camp in Oakdale, Oakdale, Long Island. Oakdale. Still active?

It looks like it's closed down. And here's what I will say. There's a lot of kids on Reddit or a lot of people on Reddit going, my mom threatened to send me there. Oh, my God. Yeah, it was like, and then like, yeah, and so there's a lot of, a lot of bad memories here. Holy shit. Yeah.

I've never even heard of Oakdale. You know, that's the beauty of Long Island. I won't meet so many people from Long Island. They're like, oh, yeah, I grew up here. And I'm like, okay, sure. Like, it was a train stop, but I don't, I don't know. I don't even, I'm not familiar with it. It makes me feel like I didn't explore any of Long Island.

I knew my five stops about it. Sure. I mean, I certainly explored, but, you know, I think, you know, youth is different. for everybody where they grow up. I'm sure, you know, everybody has their own take on where they grew up. But I have always thought, especially in comparison to like, quote unquote, normal people, like Long Island is one of the weirdest places I could possibly imagine because it has so many different personalities in different places. Yes. But it's all sort of soaked in the stink of like toxic masculinity and ostentatiousness. It is just, there are some moments where I'm like, whoa. I mean,

there was a, I don't know if you ever got this too, and not to make this all about my dumb stories. I'll just tell one more and then, where I got putting a headlock at an Italian restaurant one time. Because I was told, like, oh, you think you're funny? You think you're funny? And then all of a sudden, the fucking owner of the Italian restaurant had me in a headlock.

And I don't even know how that happened. But that's, see, that feels very Boston to me. Because I grew up in suburban Boston, which also feels Long Island adjacent in its attic. Yes, I would totally agree with that. A lot of meathead crazy agro. Like half of my high school football team did steroids for no reason. They were not gifted athletically.

They just thought that if they did steroids, they'd get into the NFL. You know, and it was ridiculous. So lots of crazy agro energy. Yeah, I mean, I can still smell like the body spray and the, the bad, you know, the hair spray and the, like, it's just, it was so weirdly ostent, it's a very tasteless, you know. I want to, because this is one part of Long Island that I don't know that much about. And it's one, again, it's a closed window that I have in my experiences there. But there's a great chapter

in your book about Fire Island. And that's a whole other side of Long Island that I'm just very on fire island in particular. I didn't really take advantage of until I was an adult. And when I say take advantage of, I mean, I mean, I was dragged in. to a timeshare in a gay party fantasia that I found really nerve-wracking, and that's what the chapter's all about. But even so, to be a closeted kid, knowing that, or knowing now, like, whoa, I could have, like, taken a ferry to fight to the pines and Fire Island and, like, figured shit out. Like, there's so much that could have happened. And that is crazy that even though I was, like, racked with fear as a, you know, closeted kid in this super macho place,

20, 25 minutes away was a ferry ride to like gay Fantasia. That's wild. Well, it's so funny, and I feel dumb for saying this, but I guess I can feel okay about it. Like, I didn't grow up in the 50s. I didn't grow up in the 40s. I want to tell you that I didn't understand that there were like

gay people in the world because of my, like, I had an uncle or a cousin who was gay. And it felt like, and he is gay, and we like him, and that's where we are. But like, I remember when I moved into New York. I was like, oh, wait, hold on. Like, I just, it wasn't in the cards. And I think back on that

so much, because I'm like, wow, I was sheltered in a way where I'm so close to the city. I'm so close to so many different things, but it was not in my purview at all. Exactly. Yes. And that's what's, that's another part of living there that's wild is you're in the shadow of a metropolis. So you have access to worldliness and, and you have access to like, like a, you know, the, a cosmopolitan wonder, But there is such a small-mindedness that happens. Even, and not even just that. Like, you're talking about, like, just kind of growing up, not ignorant, just like unaware, but then you have the idea of people who are like, the city.

I don't do the city. Oh, yeah. I don't go anywhere. And it's like, why? Then why do you live heat? Like, it's so expensive. It makes no sense. That's similar to where I grew up in Boston.

It felt very similarly like people, why would you go to Boston? Which is crazy. And it's seven miles away. It's just right there. It's right there. We can see. There you can do so many things there. You can meet different people there.

Oh, what are you talking about? We got movies here. We got, what do you? It's so, it's so wild. Also, to your point about Boston, what's also interesting is that you're talking about how it feels so, you know, rough and like, you know, scrappy. But at the same time, you're amid like academia. Oh, my God. How those two things can coens coexist is wild.

In a city that is like full of the most students in the country. in the country, it is also full of meatheads who are like, you think you're smarter than me? Exactly. You think you're fucking smarter than me? I can't believe those two things coexist, but they do. Oh, yeah. And it's just, it just means that there are fights every night at every subway shop.

Correct. That's right. There is a piece of footage that I absolutely loved from the Knicks win. So they won in San Antonio. And there's a video called like, like, one versus 500. and it's like one San Antonio fan just taking on every Knicks fan in a fight and there was something about that

watching that piece of footage which surprisingly the San Antonio guy did pretty well but the other piece of footage that got me was another San Antonio fan standing out on his balcony in Brooklyn right like out there and kind of like yelling at the crowd down below who's celebrating the Knicks victory and then these motherfucking Nick fans

scaled the building to get up on the firescape and fight this guy. And seeing them scale a building like Spider-Man to get into this fight over like the Knicks. Like it just, there is that thing where that was- I walked past a group of Knicks fans. It was like 3 o'clock in the morning on the streets in New York. Like a group of like young guy guys all like hyped up.

And one of them was like, let's go find that guy who wanted to fight us. And his buddy was like, I think he took off, man. Like, like, oh man, we can't fight anybody. That's the thing. Like, I didn't understand that fighting was not normal. Like, I fought so much as a kid. It was like, this is what we do. There's always fights going on.

Every night ended in Massachusetts, every night ended in a fight. For sure. That would be the end of the party. But even the idea of, like, people being like, you know, flagpole 3 p.m. or whatever, like setting a time to hit each other seems so strange to me. And, but even, like, in terms of. the like scaling the walls of it all. I'm very happy to see the Knicks win and I'm very happy to see the city be so caught up in it.

I think that's wonderful. But at a certain point, I'm always just like, what, what is it about sports that makes people lose their, like to climb buildings to like in Philly, it's even, I mean, in Philly, it's like, oh, forget about it. In Philly, they have to grease the poles. Yes. But if you're not on the team, like, how can you be, I don't know why one gets so, like, it changes their brain chemistry.

It really gives, I feel like, and we talked a little bit before we started the show, Elliot, you're a tremendous presence on the Howard Stern wrap-up show whenever you're on there. Both Paul and I have done the show many times. But it's interesting to listen to the grown men on the Howard Stern show, talk about the Nix. Yes. Because it's one of the only instances I feel like where men allow themselves to feel emotions. Yes, that's so true. It's this kind of thing which is like we can be emotional and let our emotions run wild when it's about our team.

Then it's okay. Like, then it's okay to cry or then it's okay to be on the roller coaster of emotion or care about something like this, you know? Yeah. And even like Howard and John Hein, they were talking the other day, the whole group, they were talking about the curses and the, the jinxes and all that. that one that happens when like Howard's wife is on her phone or someone's not in the room or they aren't they're in the room and and these people who are so, especially Howard, who's so practical and so reasonable-minded and so science-based was really allowing himself to have fantastical thoughts. Oh yeah. And it never happens. But it's like, wow, basketball, a game really takes hold of these of men's emotional states in a way that I can't, I don't know what else would.

It's, I think it's, it's the stories that they let themselves get caught up in. I think that sports are the stories that men are like, I get invested in this narrative. And it's full of ups and downs and it gives me, I think I'm rooting for these characters. It's a way that these are some of the only narratives that I feel like men can get involved in that have emotional stakes for them. Because I don't think otherwise they participate in behavior that allows themselves to exercise their emotions that way. Let me tell you, I am somebody who I think has a foot in either side. I am somebody who I believe is in touch with my emotions. I am not perfect. I try to be, you know, I'm always trying to learn and be open. But I can get myself locked into some superstitions.

Like I wore a pair of shoes one time to a Clippers game. And I was like, okay. And they lost. And I was like, can't wear those shoes again or until it gets far enough away that I feel like the stank is off those shoes. Like, you know, there are certain things. And I found myself this season, if you follow basketball at all, the Clippers had a decidedly awful, one of the worst openings of an NBA season in history. And then had one of the most tremendous comebacks. Like, they went from an unbelievable losing season to a winning season. And no one has ever done that in NBA history, what they did.

That first half of the season. I was miserable. I was miserable. I was, I was, I'm like, why am I upset? Like, what am I pissed off at? Is it my career? Is it my, my wife is my, no, it was my basketball team. And I, and I, and I had to then say to myself, I am checking out.

I am going to take off the alerts on my phone. They're losing and I'm not watching. I didn't go to any of the games because I was like, I have a season tickets. And I was like, I'm not. I can't. I can't support this because it's destroying me. Like, it's not fun for me. Well, I have to say, as, as hard as,

that sounds when it's when the season is not going well. Yeah. I am genuinely envious that you have this external thing, this like ongoing, you know, sport with players and stats. Oh, the draft is coming up. I'm afraid. And text chains. That to me, I'm like, God, I wish I were passionate about something like that that I followed closely and had, I mean, the only thing that gets, the only two things that get remotely close to that, for me, are very much opposite ends of the spectrum. One is stern, like the stern universe, and the other is RuPaul's drag race. Oh, my gosh. All things, like sort of traffic in that. Have you, by the way, seen stop that train? Not yet. You're in it. I'm in it for about 25 seconds and thrilled to be in it. But it is, it is great. But no, but I think it's all

the same thing, right? It is. It's like, these are, like we're on the side, like, Howard Stern, and I know Jason and I've been there together, like, there's something magical about it. It's like where I don't want to mess it up, but I, I want to just be around it. I also don't want to, like, for lack of a better term, like, when I go, I've gotten a few chances of being around Clippers players and talking to them. I don't want to, I don't want to fan out, but I also want to be there. Like, it's a very hard thing to kind of find that emotional place, but I'm so, I'm like a kid. I'm, I'm, and we did the league. And I, that's the, that's a joy of it, though, I imagine. Yes, yes, that's what it is, because, like, you can, and that's why I'll say,

like, going to the Stop That Train premiere, there's so many people there, they're just fans of drag, drag race. And my good friend, a dad out here that I am friends with, like, that's his show. He's been making drag race forever. He's the best. But it's sort of, like, that fandom is, it is, like, it's, it is sports. You're rooting for your people. And then they're, you know, and it's like, and you want to see them. It's like, I, I think we all have it, you know, And it's like, but I think I always go back to Howard Stern as being like the ultimate parissocial relationship because you have opinions about these people. It's like, I think reality TV is on the format of what. I was just exactly going to say like, I don't watch any reality TV. I don't watch any of the

housewives or anything like that. But Stern is unequivocally a reality show that I've been tuned into for 25 years now that I'm so invested in. And I'm serious when I say, I believe I've asked. for one selfie with someone in my entire life. In my entire life, I've asked for one selfie, and that person was Marianne from Brooklyn. Oh, my God. Who, Paul and I saw, Elliot, you will be jealous of this. Paul and I saw because we went to the Howard Birthday Bash.

Was one of the best nights. One of the best nights? Which was incredible. And she walked by, and I heard her voice only. And I was like, that's Marianne from Brooklyn. And I ran up to get a selfie, and I could not be more excited. Well, it's just so interesting,

because these people are all like peripheral characters on an, you know, in a mostly audio format, you know, but you're so invested in them. You know so much about them. I mean, that's just so unique and so, I don't know. It's just so rare. It's fun. I think we should all be fans. I think that we are in this business. We should have things that we just absolutely love and love with no other reason than just like, I'm into this. I want to embrace this. I think it's good for, I think it's a good. I think it's a good. So much of this show is about promoting our own individual fandoms. Yes. You know, fandoms for bad movies, fandoms for stuff that we talk about on here. Actors, whatever it is. Yeah. I think it's, and I think that that's the thing that is maybe lost and is viewed as being childish. But when it's put in sports with men or men that are not in touch with other things where they can't fan out,

where they can't be like, I love Widows Bay. Like, you know, they're not like, they're not like it, but they're not going to love it. But they can love sports. I love the meatheads love Widows Bay as well. well, because boy, it's terrific. But you know what I'm saying? It's like, I think that sports allows them because it's real, right? It's not fake.

The writing, it's not fake. But there is that Howard, they're macho, not macho, but like more alpha guys like Howard. Hey, Howard, I got to tell you. You know, it's like, well, there's this funny thing that happens on Stern almost every year around the time of Comic-Con where they will pull up pictures of either out-of-shape people dressed as Captain America or out-of-shape. people, you know, they basically are making fun of people who are cosplaying,

but don't have the superhero bodies. And I'm like, what's the difference between that and you wearing a jersey of somebody that you... You don't play basketball, or you don't, you're not an elite athlete, but you still dress up in their uniforms. What's the difference? I know, it's so, I mean,

by the way, that's my dumbest bit that I do with my kids is like, whenever I see anybody in Jersey, my God, guys, guys, Jalen Brunsson over there. I do it all the time. My dumbest bit. While we're promoting fandom, Elliot, your book, of course, but is there anything you are very passionate about right now that you would like to beyond drag race or shows or a movie or anything like that?

Well, I mean, I have the book coming out soon in August, the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad gay. But then I'm also, I mean, I'm interested in talking about sports because I have a video podcast coming out. With Charles Barkley? Yeah, with Charles Barkley. So this is amazing. So you and Charles Barkley, like, you are going to be, you basically are coming in from the point

of view of, I don't know much about sports. And you're going to be able to sit down with Charles. And I forget the third person is involved in it. Oh, well, so it's, it's just me. Charles is executive producing. Okay, got it. But I'll be interviewing different, like, world star athletes in each episode. Oh, my gosh.

And so Charles will be in our pilot. Got it. With me interviewing him about sports. And it's not that I know little about sports. I know nothing about sports. Okay. So good. What a great idea. It's a little bit turned up, like I just turned up a little bit in how not just illitered I am when it comes to sports, but how it's almost like I don't understand like almost like I'm an alien who just landed on Earth.

And it's just doesn't even understand like balls and gravity and physics. I love this. Like all like just taking it to that approach where it's like I just, it's not just not being a sports fan. It's just not even understanding why. Like, what's the deal with this? Elliot, if you ever need a co-host for an episode, I am similarly sports ignorant and sports agnostic. I don't, I have no frame of reference. I'm not engaged in it ever.

But that's sort of what I found has already. But your natural curiosity for stories and people is essential. Yes, it's not coming from a shady place. It's coming from a place of curiosity and baffling ignorance. Well, this is what I'll tell you, that the coolest thing about sports in many respects is exactly what we're all talking about, which is the story, right? The story of these players. Like Jalen Brunson, you know, and his dad is a story that was part of this, you know, of this championship.

And there's all these little things. Like there's a great, one of the great guys on the Spurs Champagne. He was cut from the 76ers to make room for Mack McClung. Mac MacMachlan is just an amazing dunker. but he's not a great basketball player, but they had to pick him up so he could put him in the All-Star game for the Dunk weekend,

so they got rid of this guy Champany. He's awesome, but they just did it to have representation in the All-Star game. Champany sounds like one of the new guys on Jackass. Hey, I mean, I would love to see Champany out there. Oh, man, it's poopies, it's Champany, and they're in with Preston and Wee Man.

I love Champany should be in there. Elliot, we're going to listen to your podcast. We're going to, more importantly, buy your book. We're going to pre-order your book, even though it comes out next week. Just order it now, get it done now. Because, honestly, just to say, I just want to make sure that people know this. If you like Elliot, where you're going to help them the most is by getting this book before the book comes out because that helps to all the the, it makes other bookstores order them.

It makes New York Times bestseller lists, all those sort of things. So this is where you can do it and you can order it in many different spots. You don't have to feel like, well, I'm not going to go through Amazon. You can. but you can also, there's many places that you can find a book. You can support independent bookstores by pre-ordering. It actually does help too. But anyway, so I just want to make sure.

And you're going to be doing some live book promotion in New York and L.A. and maybe some other spots. Yeah, hopefully some other smaller cities too. But is the book available in an audiobook? Do you read the audio book? And that's going to be. Because I feel like you're, I feel like you reading this book is going to be like, I listen to Paul's book as the audio book because

I want to hear that. Yeah. I want to hear you tell me these stories in my ears. And I honestly was so cathartic. I don't know about you, Paul, but it was so cathartic to actually do the audiobook because, you know, in trying to, like, in trying to hit the right note between

like literary and like stand-up-ish observational performative comedy, getting to do it on the audiobook and getting to bring those works to life and put it in, like, actual voice was so special. You know, what was so interesting was I listened to Kevin Hart's, one of Kevin Hart's books on tape, and he really, I mean, and this, there could be multiple reasons for this, but he basically was like, I'm just going to do it my way. And it was fun. It's like, yeah, you can make it your own voice and the inflections change. I love it. I, I recommend that everybody listen to the book, buy any, by any version of it you can. And if you can't buy it, make sure you reserve it at the library. It is the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, Elliot Glazer. You can check out Elliot on his podcast. You can also check him out

on social media. This has been great. Come back again. We should have you on the episode one time as well. Oh, please. Yeah. Congrats on this. The book comes out next week. Think of any favorite bad movies you might have that you might want to discuss with us. Okay, just two questions very quickly.

Do you remember ever doing Theodore Rex or The Fanatic? Oh, the Fanatic would be great. Let's mark that up. Scott will mark it in. That is one that I My friend and I watched in amazement. Like, he and I love to watch these movies, and a lot of them have showed up on your,

obviously, on how it this get made. But Theodore Rex, we still talk about the fanatic, and we watched Reagan, which was wild. Yeah. Huh. Wait, is that Dennis Quaid as Reagan? Is that? Dennis Quaid as Reagan.

Yeah. It is a wild movie. I mean, I will tell you that. I was in the place where they shot Reagan in, Oklahoma City after they had wrapped and the stories that I had heard about the shooting of that thing was a mind-blowing. Like in a way that I was like, whoa. And for a long time, I was like, when is that ever going to come out? And then it did come out.

But it seemed, somebody said to me, it can never be released. Right. And they did. And some of the reviews are like, this shouldn't have been released. So it does hit some nice moments there. That's nuts. Yeah. All right.

Well, great. Elliot. Thank you so much. Thank you. Oh, Elliot, the best. Thank you for stopping by. And if you want to order Elliot's book, just check out the show notes at the link.

By the way, I believe his book is 40% off on Audible right now, as is mine. Well, mine is until the 10th. So get your books, and Elliot reading it is going to be a treat. Anyway, now is the moment that you've all been waiting for so patiently. It is time to announce our next film. Next week, The D. Ranger D doesn't stand for Dan. It stands for Diesel. That's right. We'll be closing out our extreme

summer with 2002's Triple X starring How Did This Get Made, All-Star, Vin Diesel, Asia Argento, and Samuel L. Jackson. IMDB breaks in the plot like this. The U.S. government recruits extreme sports athlete Xander Cage to infiltrate a Russian criminal ring, which is plotting the destruction of the world. Rotten Tomatoes rates this film a 48% and critic Deson Thompson from the Washington Post wrote Triple X is essentially a dumb guy's day in heaven and you know what I'm a dumb guy and I loved it and it's terrible and you'll enjoy it listen to the trailer Revolution Studios presents the new breed of secret agent I want all that in here From the director of the Fast and the Furious.

This summer. Dangerous. Uncivilized. I love his attitude. Ben Diesel is Triple X. I'm untouchable. Now, in case you're nervous about adult websites appearing when Googling where to watch Triple X movie, I'll let you know that Triple X is available to stream for free on Canopy, Hoopla, and To Begling.

be. That is it for last looks, everybody. If you listen to us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, please rate and review us. Also make sure you are following us and have automatic downloads turned on. It helps the show and we appreciate it. Visit us on social media at HDTGM. And a big thank you to our producer, Scott, Sonny and Molly Reynolds, our engineer Casey Holford and our social media manager, Zoe Applebaum and our intern Emily Gelbard. And of course, we will forever be thankful to the one and only Averallie. We'll see you next week for Triple X. Bye for now. Hello! Al-Discopee!