How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: 12 Pups of Christmas LIVE!
Episode Date: December 11, 2023Paul, June, and Jason watch the classic 2019 holiday movie—or is it a horror movie?—12 Pups of Christmas LIVE from San Francisco. They creepily whisper about the lunchbox-sized GPS collars, the ti...tular pups being irrelevant to the plot, and how everyone in the film is probably in a cult. Plus, Paul frightens Jason and June with the ChatGPT AI bot’s interpretation of a HDTGM episode. (Originally Released 12/08/2022) For more Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerGo to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, and more! Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerCheck out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledCheck out The Jane Club over at janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter
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On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a tech company with lostogies and a pet shrink
We saw the 12 pups of Christmas, so you know what that means It's getting like a monster, vest walk, women just in the alley I'm gonna see a hard-ass show with it thrown
And take a bullet, so you can hit the hoops, control
J.M. Big Paul and the Booth, the Jew
When I take you from the blue, I'll be with you, bro
Bring the game to Shrek, body, hope to blow off steam
Just to suck a bunch to online for tipping
Re-shot me in the front, then we can't be standing alive
They call me with a bad ass, and he's on the line
Bring the game to me, give us cause they cool us eyes
Cause they're bad, Jim, Ronnie, looking kind of like
All the shoes getting lower, we'll chase him, we'll get you laid
Don't let's make the shower, I'm on your shots in the paint
They're just a bunch of movies, why be making the grave
Here's a real question, on the out of this kid, hey
Let's keep it. Let's keep it.
Let's keep it.
Let's keep it.
Let's keep it.
Let's keep it.
Let's keep it.
Hello, people of North, and all of people of South France is gone.
We are alive with the Masonic, and we are so happy to be here tonight to talk about
the 2019 film,
the 12 Pubs of Christmas.
Oh!
We're gonna go through this classic San Francisco film.
A film that feels like sleepless in Seattle,
meets Marley and me, and a whole bunch of other shit.
Uh, oh, Pet Psychiatrist from New York, meets Marley and me and a whole bunch of other shit.
Oh, Pet Psychiatrist from New York finds out her boyfriend,
fiance, it's a little unclear because he doesn't even think
to know that they're getting married.
It's cheating on her.
So she moves across country to work for a tech company here
in San Francisco, where they're putting GPS locators on dogs.
So no dog will ever go lost again.
And guess what? True love. That's what happens.
Alright, so to help us break down this movie, please welcome my co-host, Mr. Jason Manzougas! What's up, jerks?
How we doing, San Francisco?
That's what I'm talking about.
Jason, oh, 12 pups of Christmas.
It's a comfortable chair.
It's a real relaxed vibe.
Oh, I'm going to chill so hard.
I drove here.
Wow.
Liza Jelman, let me introduce somebody
who is part of the reason why we're doing this movie tonight
A person is gonna have a lot to say my other co-host June Diane Reifio
Positively bounding bounding onto the stage. Wow.
Welcome, June.
How are you, Paul?
I'm doing well.
June, I just want to take a moment here
because very rarely do you and I find a film.
Normally, Avril Halley finds all of our films.
But last Thanksgiving, you and I were watching TV.
There is no cable to be found.
And we stumbled upon this. and we looked at each other,
and they said, this is the movie.
This is it.
This is it.
And this is us.
And I have to say, I'm so happy with this pic
because it really, this movie is a dream.
This is the best movie we've ever seen. This is the Christmas classic. Oh, I agree
it's a Christmas classic. Here's what I did that thing where I wrote so many notes on the movie
that I started to be like, oh no, I'll never get to talk about all of this.
I've written too much and there's too much gold
in the middle of these notes.
I got, and then I was like,
I'm gonna have to curate these notes, so my,
and I was like, what am I talking about?
These are the 12 pups of Christmas.
Ah!
Jason, did you hear what we just said?
We've seen this movie twice.
One, when it was not a sign.
No, one was elective.
And I got to tell you, rewatching this movie,
it was love from first credit, because the credits
are like that colipso font that you never use in Microsoft Word
because it's too confusing.
It's like, oh, let's make it fun.
And it's like, it's a little too much.
Yeah, it's almost like it's a font for dogs.
By the way, no one's still that.
That's my next movie, Font for Dogs.
About a typographer who only has friends with a dog
and then he falls in love.
I would believe it if you told me this movie was intended
for a dog audience.
That would make sense to me.
This movie isn't intended for an adult sexy audience.
This movie plays like a sexual thriller from the 80s.
Like when we first meet Aaron.
It does?
Oh my god, Aaron pops on screen.
Fatal attraction.
I want jagged edge.
Yes.
12 pups of Christmas.
I mean, don't you think that first therapy scene with Erin?
Like, I'm like, you're playing this a little too sexy for me.
It's like, it's too steamy as everybody's.
She is what I don't understand.
OK, so the movie?
Well, I want to start out.
Because that's what I don't understand.
I want to start off with her profession,
K9 therapist.
Because when I think of anyone who's dealing with animals
and dealing with behavior issues and dealing with their
owners, you know, they're in jeans.
They've got a fanny pack on with treats in them.
OK, they're on the ground, too, quite honest.
That's what I want to ask.
They are putting the canine therapist in the position
of or in the environment of human therapy.
Yes.
And my understanding is the canine therapist
would be working with the owner and the dog in the world.
In or in their own?
Am I wrong?
I'm not.
No, is there a canine therapist?
Cassandra just goes absolutely rotten with them.
Is there a canine therapist in the house
or a therapist in the house? A rastfeetable one. Just so we canine therapist in the house or better
therapist in the house?
A rough, readable one.
Just so we can place someone to go to.
Yeah, license anybody?
I believe that canine therapist is called trainers.
Like they're dog trainers.
Like the way that these people are coming
is like, oh my dog hates Christmas music.
First of all, these dogs have more issues with Christmas
than anyone.
And it seems like Aaron also was like, ugh, I hate Christmas.
But yet later on, she's...
No, listen, I actually do know,
and I wish I thought to have her honored, have her call in.
But I do know a dog life coach.
I do.
Her name is Fatiha Freeman.
She has a dog life coach. She's amazing. And she is amazing. She has worked. No. She has a podcast.
A dog life coach.
Yes.
And she is amazing.
She has worked with us.
We are patients.
I understand.
I would understand therapists.
I would understand so many things.
But a dog life coach to help the dog realize its dreams.
And its owners.
And its goals.
To really, like, to really kind of curate our joint vision.
Okay.
You know.
What's the list of things we call?
What's the list of things we call?
And let's find out.
Yes, she does work.
I guess this is what's different than a dog trainer.
Dog trainers are usually working on behavior with the dogs.
And a dog life coach, again, the only one I know is Katya Friedman.
And she's absolutely incredible.
She's the podcast called The Animal that Chains you.
Anyway, put that over there for now,
but she is amazing and she does work with both human and doc.
Does she work like this?
Like in this scene right here?
Is this character the one that's Carly's friend?
Oh, is it?
Yes.
This is like a Maria Bamford character. This to is like a Maria Bamford character.
This to me is a Maria Bamford character.
I mean, watch it through that lens.
You can't leave us, Erin.
It's only because of you that my boys don't.
It's all the same.
Can you pause it when it gets to the font?
If I don't see you once a week, I might not have my couch.
I mean, I also feel like that's the font from friends.
Or from, like, suddenly Susan.
It feels like a font that might be in a dog food commercial.
It's like, tasty biscuits.
It's like, you know, it's like, there's, but you're, so she is very upset that the therapist is leaving.
Hey, Mom. Jada, I'm so sorry.
I've got a job offer that I can't turn down.
I'm trying to make this decision that a movie
would be really good for our relationship.
I'm getting married on Monday at City Hall.
Why would you tell a person like this?
I heard my first headline about this movie.
Aaron is a terrible therapist.
Aaron is only interested in herself,
and I think, like every other person in this movie,
is a psycho.
Yeah.
Aaron, the every character in this movie
is a straight-up psycho.
What I really thought was, and this is my big theory on it,
and this is what I was trying to get to the bottom of,
I was like, is she an improviser?
Because it felt like she went off book a lot.
I agree.
So here's what I'm going to say about that.
And I guess we'll get to the love interest in a bit.
But the boyfriend or the love interest?
The love interest. At it, great. friend or the love interest? The love interest.
I don't remember his name.
Martin.
Martin.
Martin.
What a crazy name for a love interest.
What is this gonna be?
What is this gonna be?
I found the chemistry between Aaron and Carly to be off the chair.
She's an electric.
Yeah.
Electric.
There were I agree I could by the way Carly just the absolute MVP of this movie
But when they're together
When they get together Aaron comes alive
She's alive with Carly they're dancing the laughing
She's she's with Martin. She's alive with Carly. They're dancing the laughing. Carly is in motion. She's back in.
When she's with Martin, she's basically like,
it's this, your piece of shit,
your piece of shit,
your piece of shit,
kiss,
your piece of shit,
your piece of shit,
fuck,
your piece of shit end of move.
She's so miserable and a button,
like she's so over it,
but it also feel like the movie makes no sense.
And then I'm also like, does your fiance
know that you are getting married?
Like because she's like, we're getting married
on Monday.
Like it's like, and it seems like, it all seems like,
oh right, right, it's like a dinner plan.
Like, oh, we're going to Susan's on Saturday.
Oh, right. Yes. And then she like a dinner plan. Like, oh, we were going to Susan's on Saturday. Oh, right, yes.
And then she has to say to him at one point,
and people get married because they love each other.
She loves it.
I want to just reiterate, she's a mental health professional
and is picking up on no signs.
Taylor is there early.
What? Why is Taylor there so early?
Wait a second, I want to, okay.
I want to pull that back a little bit.
Aaron, get on the ball.
Oh, I wanted to.
Aaron appears to be seeing clients on Thanksgiving.
Well, that was my issue.
She saw three clients on Thanksgiving morning
and then her instructions to her fiance were
He'd up the turk he up the turkey not cook the turkey like heat it up and then she's but her
She's so but her when Travis and Aaron have done and she's like she's so passive aggressive
She's like the cooking is the best part and like they did it
I am I opinion I'm like, they did it, in my opinion,
I'm like, oh, they did a nice thing.
They were like, you were working on Thanksgiving.
So they did this.
When were you gonna eat?
And also it seemed like the instruction she gave was,
he didn't turnkey, warm it up.
They didn't warm up the fucking turkey.
They did it.
I'm team Travis and Taylor.
And then to add confusion,
this is all just the first two scenes,
and we won't leave New York.
We'll come back to talk about the San Francisco parts.
We're just gonna focus on New York things.
Because that's all we care about San Francisco,
you're God damn town.
But then she gets in the cab and, you know,
and she's like, oh, can you change this station, this Christmas music?
And the guy shouts back the cab driver, New York cabbie,
they're pre-programmed.
What?
There's so many, by the way.
They're not on a fucking Disney ride.
The drivers in this movie, you never see.
You never see, there's driver erasure happening.
And they just pipe in some VO when they're being, when Martin and her going around to try
to unload some of the pups. There's that driver's driving the SUV like never get to see
him. It's just like-
You get to see more of the car pulling into a driveway than you ever see of a driver driving that car. Yes. Yes
There's a lot of they're like I have to say to him and to say something that's maybe controversial. I
Don't think Aaron likes dogs
June
I agree here's the I'm gonna I'm gonna piggyback off of that. I don't think Erin likes people. Yes
I think Erin is bad at her job and is a
Bad person
Well, it what's really interesting is it her job is to kind of intuit what the dogs feel and want like she's certainly missing
the cues that Galileo is giving her Mr. G
Her dog is telling her shit is oh
What?
Goliath
I'm sorry. Goliath not June.oliath. Goliath, I'm sorry. Goliath, not June? Sorry, I'm sorry. How should I hear you?
How dis-Safety Scala has turned against you.
Goliath!
I-I-I-Goliath!
Oh, shh.
I feel like there is one moment in this movie
where I really feel like we understand who Aaron is
and I'll talk about this in a second.
Here we go.
We're gonna have to get revenge on him.
I think we should talk.
He does again. He does again.
Okay. Doc doesn't want to go to her.
We're gonna rewind.
And we're gonna rewind and start it again.
But I want you to watch how much you can't really tell what Erin is saying
because the words aren't actually coming into the air.
No, they just...
They just have her mouth and they evaporate.
This is the movie that needs close captioning, maybe the most.
Ah, now.
And then there's Taylor who's like, I'm talking!
I was just thrilled though to be able to hear her.
Thank God for Taylor and Travis and...
And I do want to talk about Taylor for a while. The I do want to talk about the sound man on this movie,
or Sound Woman on this movie, who had to be
like modulating between both of them.
He must have been going nuts.
Like, uh, but quickly, I just want to just,
for one moment, just show you what I think is really going on
inside Aaron's head.
So here we go, one second.
It was bad.
We're gonna have to get revenge on him.
I think we should, uh,
hold, hold.
Chin up him.
And tie him up and tattoo his forehead.
And I haven't say I'm a serial cheater.
Punch me in the face.
Yeah.
I don't want to do that me in the face. Yeah. How do you do that?
What?
No.
No.
Oh.
I think that she did want to do that.
I guess.
I wrote that down.
That's a moment.
That's the real part.
That's her.
That's her.
That's her.
She wants to get revenge, tie him up, and tattoo him on the forehead.
So he lives a life of torture.
It is fucking nuts.
She, there, everyone is a fucking psycho, except for Carly,
who is an angel.
Carly is a psycho.
Carly is a psycho, Jason.
Okay, okay, fine.
Carly is a psycho.
I love Carly.
Carly is an occult.
This whole movie takes place in occult.
Well, and if there's one thing I know about this cult,
this town's built on cults.
If there's one thing I know, at least seven people in this room
have been in occult, raise your hand if you were raised in occult
in this town.
Cowards.
I bet they're in the balcony, we can't see.
But it seems where she's, where Aaron's being introduced
to Doug Gonn and the corporate culture there are terrifying.
They play like a horror film where they tell her over and over
that she's a part of their family.
Your family now.
Your family now.
Your family now.
You know, this scene that we just watched here, right? But Paul, you just play a part of their family. Your family now. Your family now. Your family now. You're family now. You know the, okay, this scene that we just watched here, right?
Paul, you just play a little bit of again.
Sure.
Just like, just like, don't you feel, in this thing where she's saying,
plotting her revenge, and you know what we should do.
Blah, blah, blah.
Don't you feel like, yeah, don't you feel like inside of this scene?
There are even pictures.
Oh, God.
Yeah, it was bad.
She's going to turn around, remove her hair,
and it's gonna be Gabriel from Malignant.
It's gonna be on the back of her head.
That's where I feel like this movie is in the Malignant verse.
And I mean, look, this is...
I don't know if these people aren't happy
if they haven't found a home or whatever,
because it seems like everyone's kind of broken
and nothing is working for anyone, right?
Like I mean, even in San Francisco,
there are not, no one's really truly happy.
Not even Wayne, is this name Wayne?
Wally, not even Wally is happy.
I mean, listen, they're all working for a startup
that's bound to fail with a founder
who is an actual idiot.
This is a massive tech startup.
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? This white tech bro, whose greatest challenge
is overcoming the loss of a dog he had as a child.
Who he assumes was dognapped.
He says dognapped.
He says dognapped.
I have never heard that.
He also is immediately gifted a new dog.
The fucking call of this guy.
But here's my question about his company
and honestly the mission because I guess I have to wonder,
like, are they trying to build this GPS collar
before chips? Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, You're already been invented. This is 2019. Air tags are readily available.
And so are those tiles.
Remember tiles?
We have an air tag on our dog as we speak.
And it's this big.
The size of a quarter, maybe two, put together.
This is 2019.
This is not like 2005.
This isn't a revolutionary idea.
Tyler has been doing this for years.
It also feels like they should be smarter than this,
because Carly has been at 9.com.
She is an engineer, a tech guru,
a programmer, a social expert,
and a graphic designer.
It seems like she either got fired. And she's working for her brother, who's a fucking idiot.
This is the patriarchy.
He is an idiot.
This is the patriarchy at work.
But this Carly should own this company,
and it should already be IPO'd
Give me a fucking break this guy's a dunce
But also they bring in the dog therapist and she figures out you should rename it
that doesn't seem like what a therapist should be doing and
She all like she
Really what she adds to it, has nothing to do
with her background about dogs,
not only that, but she is told upon arrival
that the success of the entire company
by both Carly and Martin, she is told the success
of the entire company and all of its employees
and apparently all of its puppies are in her hands.
And right before the holidays.
And within one week, she saves it, by the way.
Well, yeah, because she does the whole thing.
At this volume, she saves the entire company
at this volume.
That she notices, though, anyone would notice.
Like, if I brought my six-year-old there,
he'd be like, that's too big.
And that's what she says.
And it doesn't seem like he runs a fear-based company,
although I do love when he's typing on a computer,
and you can clearly see the screen in the frame in its black. To-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to Well, this is what's so weird is that you would think that
that she'd be saving the company because of her connection to animals
because she's able to really draw the lines between humans and animals.
But that's not why.
She's there to get her.
She's basic like brand narrative and like just a marketing lens and and she's also there
To give therapy
The reveal at the end of the movie which is fucking Kuku Kuku is that Carly hired her to give that because she thought she'll be
Perfect for my brother and give him therapy to make him better, and you guys will fall in love.
Carly is setting up a series of events
that are an HR disaster.
From day one, Aaron is like,
day one, Aaron is like,
day one, Aaron is like,
the boss is fucking hot.
Holy shit, the boss is hot to his sister,
and then it's like, oh, that's his sister.
By the way, but when she said that, she's like,
ooh, that was your sister.
It's like, it wasn't like your wife.
It's like, would your sister be like,
I don't know why it would be that embarrassing
to tell your sister that your brother's hot.
There's a whole MTV show about it called, dude, your sister's hot.
When she says this, he is way better looking in person.
She always says...
Every news at work just horny.
She also says, he seems brilliant.
He seems brilliant?
How do you seem brilliant from just
getting my office in 10 minutes?
I also think Carly... I don't know what Carly wants out of this.
I have to imagine, here's what I had to come up with,
because the movie didn't provide me with much.
I had to imagine that Carly had asked her own father
to fund her brilliant startup idea, and he said no.
The dad will come back later on,
giving the oddest performance I've ever seen. The dad feels like when they cast Mark Cuban
in things. It's like, hey, Mark Cuban's here. He's like, hey guys, I'm here because I
really like what you're doing. He felt like he was some sort of a local
celebrity who was brought in to be in the film. Or I was gonna say they were like,
fuck, we didn't cast this part.
Uh, Gary from Craft Services, he'll do it.
He'll do it, we'll put him in a suit.
It was just so strange.
I just wanted to imagine that she asked him for funding
at some point and he said no.
Is the, okay, I need to know this.
Dogon.
The name of the company.
The name of the company.
The company, the tech company that has hired a pet therapist for reasons unknown because
it is simply a caller-based G.E.R.
And I'm so sorry, Jason, Jason, Jason.
We really, and I know we're in San Francisco, but I don't think we can call this a tech company.
Ex-well, my question.
Well, that is my question.
Okay, so sorry, I'm so sorry.
No, no, no, that is my question.
The tech knowledge here needs to exist.
When she gets there, it appears to be a dog hotel.
No, no, no, she says, welcome to the dog on hotel.
I'm just joking.
She clarifies, I'm just joking.
I thought they also had a dog,
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
To be clear, there are a lot of dogs that are staying there. Well, by the way- I don't know why. I thought they also had a dog No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I know because midway through the movie the movie says hey Aaron and first the movie's like Aaron
You got to find homes for these 12 dogs or this company's gonna fail and I'm gonna put them to sleep right Martin
Is like Martin's like I'm gonna murder these dogs unless you find him a home by Christmas and then two days later
He's like come with me to New York to save the company. It doesn't matter the dogs don't matter
They don't care about the dogs tailors back. She'll take care about the dogs. Taylor's back, she'll take care of the dogs. What?
What is this movie?
But the crazy thing is, the crazy moment about that is,
first of all, the reason why there are 12 pups there,
which you all know is because of a lazy photographer
left them after a photo shoot.
And add agency.
So like, no one's just got a, we call it that,
add agency and just get them to take their fucking dogs.
It's like the Balenciaga campaign when people are blaming
like the art department.
I'm like, I don't know.
It was so odd.
So then they have these 12 pups.
And it's like, all right, dog therapist.
If you're such a good dog therapist, get rid of these dogs.
OK.
And then he seemingly is going to go bankrupt, but yet he's forced to deliver
every one of these dogs.
He should be working on that computer that has this thing.
And they're truly trying to play a...
He's a scrooge, he doesn't like dogs, he does, and then his heart opens because she forces
him to deliver puppies.
The other question I have for her is,
should these people, if you're a canine therapist,
is it the first rule of thumb that like,
every owner should meet the dog's first
before they make a lifelong commitment to them?
This movie?
The movie is irresponsible.
You're responsible.
The movie is, like, like animals honestly animals were harmed
We've spoken about erens measured
tone and do you have clips of the moments when she yes when she exhibit live when she exhibits the only other
Emotional pole that she seems to have.
I mean, we should watch the breakup just for a second
because this is pretty great,
because here's the pilot.
I would honest to God,
I would rewatch this whole movie
with you people here right now.
It really is.
You guys, you guys get it.
You get it, you get it.
That's why I say next level.
But I don't get from you what I get from Taylor
Taylor's there
Okay, so this is my issue
Was the plan I'm gonna break up with you and then when I break up with Taylor
Why don't you come in and you can explain your side of it and then tell her say, well, what do you want to do?
I'm the way you want to do it on the weight of the courthouse? Or should we maybe do it on Thanksgiving day?
Yeah, and should we let her get dressed in that wedding dress?
I think it'll be more interesting to do it right at the right there.
Travis is a coward.
Travis is a coward who should have done this,
I mean, ages ago, Taylor should have said something.
I feel like the, Travis, I feel like Taylor is there for the wedding. Like I feel like she's, she's supposed to be there.
Oh, no. You don't have to say. Like as they're witness.
She's not dressed for it. Someone said, I think that's true.
She's not dressed for it. Someone in the audience said, amazing.
Okay, then no, so she is. She knew there wasn't going to be a wedding
that day. And so she storms off off and let me just say one thing
If you've not seen the movie you have to know that our main character here Aaron played by Charlotte Sullivan is
carrying a dog in her like her arm is always in like an L shape the dog is
permanently in her like even
I add to what you're saying. Please. This is a movie that is full of multiple scenes
where people are having emotional conversations,
both of whom are holding two puppies.
It is so funny and awkward to watch people hold wild animals
while trying to act.
All right, so here is the first explosion of her.
There's the first time we get to see Erin pop off.
This is a person coming undone.
Oh, okay.
Okay, you pause for a second.
That's a point of view shot from the dog.
Just so you understand, this movie has POV shots from the dog's point of view
Which would have been so cool if they had done something with that once or twice so it's odd
It's like there's no
For sure. Oh, he this dog Galileo is gonna talk
What's his name again? Go live.
You know what?
Actually, I'm with you.
It's Galileo.
Galileo.
I'm like, each shit's in Francisco.
For sure.
You don't correct us.
We correct you.
For sure Galileo is gonna like jump and chomp on his balls.
Like, and I want to see it.
I'm ready for it.
And there's also here,
there's also here a clear relationship
between Travis and Galileo that is fascinating.
Well, but Travis says on the way to get married
after dating for three years, why does he hate me?
Like today as the day we're asking that question.
And the answer Travis is he smells other pussy on you.
Right.
And even if it's Galileo gets it.
But here's what's so weird about her.
I don't know her approach to her work.
Her answer to that is, oh, he's really protective of me.
And I don't know everything about dogs,
but I'm like, I know a little.
And that's your fault, Erin.
Like, you should be working day and night to make sure
that that dog isn't overly protective of you.
And a physician!
That's a job!
Heal myself!
And I will say that, look, here's the thing. I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I? I mean, and I don't even know what that means, really?
It seems to me like when I hear a server, it's like,
that's like a corporation.
So you and I wouldn't even be on the same Wi-Fi,
is that what it means?
It would be in a hotspot, an ID.
It would be a whole different computer set up.
Also, it would mean that Taylor is a hacker.
Taylor, it means like Taylor found Hillary's emails.
Like, to have a secret, for Taylor to find is everybody,
like a tech genius?
Sam Fran, is it normal for a person
that have a private server?
Also, do you guys like being called Sam Fran?
I know.
I know you don't. I know, because you guys like being called San Fran? I know.
I know you don't.
I know, because you guys like being called Frisco.
I literally, every post for the show I make sure.
Every post for the show I make sure I never said San Fran.
I said Cisco, I said that a lot.
But, all right, so this is the first out-perso thing.
Okay, sorry, yeah, this is her out-perso.
Been cheating on me with my best friend, okay.
I'm so sorry, Erin.
How long has this been going on?
Ow, ow, ow.
How long has this been going on?
Erin is a psycho.
By the way, also this movie, Erin learns nothing.
That one is...
And, her journey is not an arc.
It is a flat line.
And she's like a creepy person.
You know, there's something very...
She has a line where she says, and I think she's joking, but who knows, with her cadence, she says,
it's nice to be with people who are alive.
Yes, but you know what that was?
But you know what that was?
This is why I think she improvised a lot,
because I think there's a lot of work in there,
because she said, we're family, and she said,
oh, most of my family are dead, so it's good to be
with family who are alive.
Whoa.
She does say the tailor at one point,
and, you know, tailor has it coming,
and I do want to talk about Taylor's arc
and the penance she pays, which is to,
I guess, tailor learns from the 12 pups of Christmas.
Well, we don't see that movie.
We don't see it, but that's-
We need like a Rosencrantz and Gildruin Stern for Taylor.
But we really do, because I like...
Just for Taylor.
I do think the Taylor...
If I had done that to a friend,
I do think Taylor is making the right moves,
like just showing up and being like,
I fucked up.
I need to make a man.
I need to make a man's and Aaron,
you know, gives her an opportunity to do that.
Now it is taking care of, at that point,
I think only 10 pups if you don't count Galileo 9.
They kind of mess up the math because she goes,
you need to take care of 13 pups while I go out.
Then she gives away two pups and she comes back
and she goes, I've just been taking care of 12 pups.
So one went away, but she gave away two, but they're what?
And I don't know, parvo hit or what, but the number of pups
is gone and going.
And why is Taylor carrying all of them?
You don't need to carry them around.
Like, children.
But she does say to Taylor, she says to her when they're
in the house, she says, you are rooted down.
I have it here too.
I have it here too.
I have it here. You've always been very weak. Taylor? She says, you are a rude attempt. I have it here too. Taylor, you've always been very weak.
Taylor?
She says it twice.
Erin's positioning and framing of this
isn't like, you're such a bitch.
You're set, how could you do this?
She's like, you're weak.
You're weak.
It's always been weak.
You've always been weak.
That's saying, I've thought this forever.
Ever.
It's so chilling.
It was always been, Erin is a terrible friend.
Erin is ungenerous, unkind, so.
Well, Erin, no, but Erin is awful because like,
even when she's on the flight with her, you know,
would be bow and he's afraid of flying.
She's like, you're afraid of flying?
Wings on fire and he's like, what? And he's like, I'm just of flying? Huh, wings on fire. And he's like, what? What?
And he's like, I'm just joking, you asshole.
Fuck you.
And he's like, oh, and then he's like, you see,
I got you over your fear of flying.
Like, ew, get out of here, you grow so, like, it's too aggressive.
Well, no, she gets him over her fear of flying.
Also by calling him a piece of shit, that's what I'm saying.
She's like, hey, you're a piece of shit.
You stole my ideas.
You ponder them off as you're own. You're a piece of shit. And he's like, well, wait a minute.'s what I'm saying. She's like, hey, you're a piece of shit. You stole my ideas. You pawn them off as your own.
You're a piece of shit.
And he's like, well, wait a minute.
No, I didn't.
And then she's like, aha, just candy.
I got you over your fear of flying.
And it's like, she's playing games that are fucking nuts,
but then like psycho bullshit.
I was like, what?
And he basically says, like, oh, were you kidding?
She's like, not really.
Like, it's like.
It's like, yikes. She is, that's like, oh, were you kidding? She's like, not really. Like, it's like.
It's really strange.
Yikes.
She is, that's like, it feels like a movie about a serial killer.
And.
Yeah.
And what does she say?
She does come off, and I thought for sure, well, once we realized she was an orphan,
you know, which I thought was coming.
She had Aaron.
She's an orphan?
Well, I think she's her both of her parents are dead. Jason,
do you want to weigh in on this one? I don't think she does tell a backstory story about how like,
I think she's an adult orphan. Like me? Yeah. Is that what it is? Okay, an adult orphan. Okay.
I think you're some adult orphan. No, no, she wasn't like all of her twists. It was an orphan child.
I mean, maybe she was.
She was not like, can I have some more?
Sorry, yeah, that's what I thought.
She might have been like an adult orphan.
And I guess orphans not the right word,
but she does have.
No, no, no, I think you're right.
Yeah.
I do think that there's a trope in these movies
where adult orphans are portrayed as really, really sad.
That's only eight pups.
But unfortunately, what I think is supposed to come off as sort of sad and more connected
to animals than people ends up coming off psychotic.
It's the way that she stares.
Like, and this is, this is the unblinking, unemotional.
It is, it is.
Except when she's with Carly.
Yeah.
And then it's pop.
Well, at the Christmas party, at the Christmas party,
at the company house that they all live at,
why do they all live in the same house?
Is that what you guys do here? No.
I do think.
I feel like this person over here was like, eh, kind of.
I also really want to have a conversation
with a costume designer because the number
women under 60 who are wearing Christmas pins
is utterly insane.
Everyone has a sweater and a pin on.
I mean, let's watch a little bit of this Christmas party
because it's really good.
And I will say,
This include the Jingle Bells Singalong.
It might.
You're part of our family now.
Everybody errands here.
Hi.
Hello.
Hi.
How are you?
Good to see you.
This is your new family.
Welcome to the family.
What?
Pause for a second.
Everything, everything so far is from a horror movie.
By the way, everybody, everybody,
errant here.
Hi, this is the trailer. Weezy The Cuts.
This is your new family.
This is Midsomar.
What?
Midsomar and this are similar in so many ways.
This is more dogs or pop.
This is terrifying.
I will tell you this much too.
I've seen the house.
There's no way this is a movie.
The house?
The house.
Yes.
Are you agree?
Are you agree?
Are you agree?
But I've seen the house isn't big enough to house the amount of people at this party.
That means that people are sleeping cult-like in bunk beds, for three bunk beds to a room, six
to a room.
And in standard.
And in standard.
Everybody's singing jingle bells.
They should all be like, what do we do? What is this?
Yeah, and it's my check on the clear next week. They seem to be being paid in stock options
and happy with it, but everyone comes to her with a problem. Now watch this. Here we go.
Emily is passed on. It's nice to be able to rely on her. What can you pause for a second? What can you pause for a second?
She's still whispering all her lines.
They're at a party.
It's nice to be with people who rely.
It's nice.
It's so good.
I'm so happy to be here.
So happy to be here.
I'm so happy.
It's so great.
I love it.
I love being here.
At one point, thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
I'm so happy to be here.
When she's cleaning up the dishes, Carly says,
thank you.
I'm so happy to be here.
It's so great. It's so great to be here. It's like so much to be here. Oh my says, thank you. I'm so happy to be here. So great.
It's so great to be here.
It's like so.
Oh my god, you guys.
I'm so great.
I'm so grateful.
So grateful to be here.
So grateful to be here.
So happy to be here.
I love it.
So happy to be here.
I can't believe it.
It's everything.
So great.
It's just a dream.
Everything's so great.
Everything is so great.
I can't believe you.
Oh my god.
Everything is so great.
This is so great.
This is the thing I've ever seen in my life.
And again, we talk about this movie.
There's no continuity because at one point when she's cleaning up glasses,
Karly goes, now that's a sign of a good guest.
Well, no, you live there.
That's your house.
You're not a guest anymore.
You live here.
But here we go. This is the end of the party scene.
There.
You can have a seat.
You're the one.
I love the family.
That's like one of the only peaks.
The sound department was like, oh.
I'll tell you the other thing.
I will tell you the other thing that I get with,
just to go to Aaron again in her psychosis,
because I'm thinking about this,
if at the end of the movie it was like a,
or a blum house reveal.
All they need is a little reediting.
And June, I want to ask your opinion on this as well.
So when her boyfriend comes back, right?
When her boyfriend comes back into the picture at the end.
Yeah.
He's like, he basically puts his arm on her,
like on her, he's like, I want you back.
And then the guy comes in and punches her ex
and then when the cop comes in, he's like, he had his hands on me.
And I felt like she was trying to get him arrested
and I don't feel like he was attacking her
or even really aggressively touching her.
I thought he had both hands on either side.
It was grabby for sure.
But then Travis says,
not to fall, that Travis says,
she assaulted me.
That's where I was like,
whoa, whoa, Travis, what are you up to?
But I just felt like she really was like, whoa, whoa, what are you up to?
But I just felt like she really was like trying to,
I felt like she was trying to get him jailed for this.
I know we can make this what your hands are.
I love that go with me.
Hey, guys!
I love this one.
I want to know everything about her.
Another Maria Bamford character.
Hey, hey!
Stop!
Hey, hey!
By the way, listen to the music under the fight scene.
It's like curb your enthusiasm kind of horns.
The movie is all public domain music or silence.
Get up.
Get up.
Who is this guy?
He's the loser who dumped me on my wedding day. Who are you? I'm her boyfriend. What? Who is this guy? Who is this guy? Who is this guy?
Who is this guy?
Who is this guy?
Who is this guy?
Who is this guy?
Who is this guy?
Who is this guy?
Who is this guy?
Who is this guy?
Who is this guy?
Who is this guy? Who is this guy? Who is this guy? brought in as a witness. So it's just a two guys who fought, but not the third party.
Tell her to go to jail.
No, for a test of five.
Wow, you're saying lock her up?
Yeah.
Paul is saying lock her up.
Lock her up.
Lock her up.
Wait, what?
Paul?
I was just saying that I felt like she should,
she should be able to be there to at least tell her
side of the story.
In jail? To the cop. No one took her statement. No one took a statement, like she should be able to be there to at least tell her side of this joy. Enjoy.
To the cop.
No one took her statement.
No one took a statement, but I don't know where his partner was.
I don't have any questions.
And why was she?
And why was the cop is gonna arrest both of these guys,
tell it to the judge, who's pressing charges?
That's what I'm saying.
Who's the grieved party?
And why is she so surprised that he's got,
that he's her boyfriend when he left a note like this?
Okay, is this note framed?
It is. I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, he's done. Okay, but what a weird choice the movie makes here.
Well, they're just in New York State at the same Carlos.
Right, just let him write a note.
Like why hooded in the frame or take out the frame?
Like maybe that was the Wi-Fi and password.
Also, yeah, also see you downstairs.
Well, also see you downstairs. Like, also. See you downstairs?
Like, you're an amazing woman.
I cannot wait for our future.
See you at breakfast.
Like, this, this is the note where you're like,
oh, I was drunk.
Oh, I hooked up with an idiot.
Why did I do this?
He is a true, and I did really enjoy his performance
because it's like, oh, he's an actual idiot, you know?
No, and by the way, Jun?
Jun, that's Aaron's type.
That's true.
Aaron dates morons.
Because I do think Aaron's kind of an idiot too,
but she's one of those idiots that's like,
I want to be in a relationship
or I can feel like I'm the smart one.
Yeah.
And but like everybody else is like, you're both idiots.
Yeah.
Wait, I'm also remembering when they're falling in love
and telling their backstory.
She's like, I grew up on Staten Island every day.
Took the ferry to school.
Wait, it took the ferry to school.
And I'm sorry.
Staten Island bigger than,
and all you grew up on Roosevelt Island. And also it's like, there's just a fairy to school. And I'm sorry. And I'm sorry. And I'll you grow up on Roosevelt Island.
And also, it's like, there's not a single person in Staten Island that talks like this.
Yes.
There's you during that kind of thing.
It's like, I'm from Staten Island every day.
I went to France.
I went to France.
I took this micimuth to school, it's two and a half hours.
Yeah.
Like, if you grew up in Staten Island, you screamed.
She dated Pete Davidson. left Staten Island,
found his other guy.
I don't know what I love that.
But I would love that.
And by the way, if you're from Staten Island,
throw out a Wu Tang Clan reference.
Come on.
Protect your neck.
Get me something.
Tell it to the judge, I wrote.
That's the cop kept saying, tell it to the judge.
It made me laugh. So tell it to the judge. Tell it to the judge. It made me laugh.
So tell it to the judge.
Tell it to the judge.
Tell it to the what?
Come on.
It doesn't even seem like they get tried.
It doesn't even seem like that's part of it.
The only chemistry in this movie, like straight up,
is Aaron and Carly, period.
The only couple though that I'm interested in, Taylor and Carly.
Give me that forever.
Let Taylor and Carly be a couple, let them raise all the pups.
Taylor and Carly?
I want it.
I'm shipping, Carly.
I'm shipping, Taylor and Carly, they see.
They can have a scene together.
They know, but they are the only normal people in the movie, according to me.
No, Taylor is not normal.
Taylor is psychotic as well.
Well, no.
This is where we're talking about everybody is psychotic.
Of course.
Carly is not psychotic.
Yes, of course she is, babe.
Of course she is.
She hired Herrin just to fix her brother,
whose her boss, even though Carly is clearly a genius.
And Martin is like a,
Martin is like a Dutch wooden shoe.
Ha ha ha!
Osabo.
Is he a Osabo?
He's a sentient clog.
This dude is a fucking dunce.
Times a million.
I mean, again,
all, she could have brought so many things to the table. The thing that she brought, Times a million. I mean again all
She could have bought so many things to the table the thing that she brought like he didn't figure out
That dog gone or like and I love that he goes like this dick. What let's rename it
Dog and found we don't like that and he's like
Animal tracker and then someone goes oh it rhymes with animal crackers. I like it
Yeah agree Everybody's an idiot. Everybody's an idiot
This is a fun. This is a movie. I think this movie is for people at home to feel like oh, I'm smarter than them
Yeah, at least I'm smarter than them and they're millionaires.
When she arrives at Dogon and they're like hooking up callers
to dogs that appear to have, I don't know, lunch boxes attached to them.
They're in the people and scientists are in lab coats,
but in the middle of the office, so it doesn't seem like that's a sterile environment,
and it also seems that they don't need to have the dog in a sterile environment to put the collar on.
Anyway, I just wanted to put this one scene up because we can see the relationship between these two people.
It's my fiance here.
You know, it's kinda like, don't be on my wedding day.
Please come here.
Can you hear her? Can you hear her?
I think I'm saying.
You can hear that, say. She was like, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm It's like when you're on the Amtrak quiet car and you see a couple get into a fight.
I just said, I just want what I just said.
You should've stood up for me when your mom said that.
I don't understand. Your mom is clearly belittling me.
Don't, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe.
Come on, babe.
I know. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, come on, hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,. And this is the only time, this is the only time I can legitimately say, look at those sweater puppies and I'm talking about those puppies.
At this point in the movie, I thought, for sure, because when I say we watch this movie
twice, we really watched, I think half of it the first time.
You fell asleep the first time.
I fell asleep so I didn't see the second half.
I saw all the way up to the fight.
Okay, so I, up until during this scene,
I was like, I think that Carly's like an elf.
That's what I thought.
Whenever he's we watching,
I was like, he's gonna be Santa.
Well, let's talk about that.
So, we find out, although we already know, because they don't do a great job of hiding it, that he's playing Santa Claus to a bunch of orphans?
Like kids, he's reputed when he needs to hide them.
He repeatedly arrives at work in a Santa costume.
Quite often, and I think you're wrong.
And when he's in and multiple times at work in a Santa costume. Quite often and I think you're wrong.
And when he's in and multiple times in the elevator with Aaron,
he also inexplicably just doesn't talk.
As if Santa doesn't, as if that's like a private moment.
That's why I thought he kept on saying,
I need to get it done by Christmas Eve because he was Santa
and this is going to be the gift that Santa was going to give to
all the dog owners of the world
And then his sister was an elf who was like Santa needs love because he's so obsessed with getting toys for other kids
So that's the story I was following. Well, and also what's well, okay to your credit
I want to piggyback off of exactly what you said because I do think the movie is
Suggesting that because it puts Aaron in the Mrs. Claus red suit,
and she says, I'm Mrs. Cringol, or whatever.
I'm Mrs. Cringol, or something like that.
And there is a way in which the movie is,
wow, the movie has all of the ingredients
for a movie that could have worked,
but it really isn't interested in doing any of it.
Like, it's about Aaron and it's about Mrs. Claus
finding out Santa Claus and who's a scrooge
who needs the 12 pups of Christmas.
Every one of them is a stage of the cross
for Jesus Christ.
Obviously.
Right, the 12 stations of the cross.
Obviously. Christ, he has stations of the cross. Christ.
He has to walk the stations in order to be crucified.
He dies for our sins.
Amen.
He is risen.
Christ, back in Christmas people, if we give you one message tonight, that's the one
to leave with.
We always said it.
This is what we're talking about.
The 12 pups of Christmas, the 12 stations of the cross.
Anyway, the 12 pups of Christmas could have been
how we get from Scrooge to Santa to Mrs. Cross level.
And instead, they're like, we gotta go to New York.
So you can pitch the Asian businessman
where they play weird Asian music in the movie,
which is terrible.
Next level of fettin' 15.
There is a gong in the movie, which is terrible. Next level of fat. 2019.
There is a gong in the movie.
This movie has a gong sound effect.
And again, and again, she's so good with people
or whatever, but she doesn't understand that this man is not,
she has, she's pitching for 20 minutes
before she realizes that he is not under the bed.
I like to believe that they shot that scene
and cut it, because they were like, it's offensive.
Before we go out to the audience,
I wanna do something that we've never done here.
Give up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I don't know if you have,
if you've been hearing about this,
but there is this AI bot.
Okay, and so what, oh, you got so scared.
Yeah, what did you do, Paul?
OK, so this AI bot, you type in a question,
and the AI bot will give you an answer.
And so our producer, Scott, typed in a question,
can you please write a script scene of how did this get made
of the podcast host discussing the movie 12 Pups of Christmas
live in front of an audience in San Francisco.
Wait, you can, wait, this is real?
Yep.
So this is Jason's script, Pass at the Jason.
What?
This is June's script, Pass at the June.
And I'm not, I'm not going to look at this.
Yeah, I'm not going to look into it until I'm, I will read, I'm on camera.
I will read stage directions here and we go interior San Francisco theater night. I'm not going to look into it until I'm on camera.
I will read stage directions here and we go interior.
San Francisco Theater night.
Paul Jason and June are standing on stage.
Can I pause for a second?
The bot wrote this?
Yes.
Totally serious.
That's what I'm wondering.
I have two scripts.
The bot wrote even this.
Yes.
God, it got it.
Interior.
San Francisco Theater night.
Paul Jason and Juneer standing on stage
in front of a large audience.
Welcome to How Did This Get Made Live from San Francisco.
Woo!
Shut up!
I have a line.
Tonight we're gonna be discussing
the holiday movie 12 Pups of Christmas.
I have to say, I was not expecting this movie
to be as bad as it was.
The title itself is ridiculous.
Yeah, then when you actually watch it, there are only six puppies in the entire movie.
And the plot is just all over the place.
It's like they threw in every holiday movie cliché. They could think of it.
Right, the poor dog acting was also a major distraction.
I've never seen such poorly trained puppies on screen. They could think of. Right, the poor dog acting was also a major distraction.
I've never seen such poorly trained puppies on screen.
And let's not forget about the villainous real estate developer
who wants to tear down the mansion and build a mall.
It's just so over the top.
But the worst part has to be the terrible Christmas songs
they play throughout the movie.
It's like listening to your drunk uncle sing jingle bells
at a family gathering, but with the puppies
humping each other instead.
I don't think I know I'm the perfect.
Jason, that's not appropriate.
Yeah, let's try to keep it clean, Jason.
Sorry, sorry, I got carried away.
That's all right.
Now on a more serious note,
June and I actually have a funny story about our marriage
and 12 bucks of Christmas.
Right, so we were watching the movie
in our first Christmas together as a married couple.
And we were both so disappointed by it
that we ended up getting into a huge argument.
And then in the heat of the moment,
we both just started barking at each other
like puppies in the movie.
But then, I know where we heard a knock on the door,
and it was a pizza delivery guy.
And he looked at us like we were completely insane
standing there barking at each other
like a couple of lunatics.
It was so absurd, but it ended up breaking the tension,
and we started laughing about it.
Yeah, it's one of those moments
that we look back on now, we can't help but chuckle.
Exactly, and it's a reminder that even the worst movies
can bring us closer together.
Thanks for joining us tonight.
We'll see you next time on How Did This Get Made?
I have so confused.
For real.
For real.
I don't understand it.
I don't get it.
So we put it in again.
We decided, let's see what it comes up with for a second time.
And we'll just, and this one in the audience is in here
a little bit more.
Here we go.
Interior, San Francisco Theater Night, Paul, June and Jason are on stage, microphones
in hand as they discuss the 12 pups of Christmas.
So, what do everyone think of this movie?
I thought it was absolutely ridiculous.
Yeah, I mean, I can't even imagine how this idea came about.
Let's make a Christmas movie of about 12 puppies
that save the day.
Audience laughs.
And the thing is, it's not even a good Christmas movie.
I mean, there's no romance, no heartwarming moments,
just puppies doing silly things.
And the acting is terrible.
I don't think any of those puppies were actually trained
to do the things they were doing.
Speaking of things being trained,
did you guys hear the one about the guy
who trained his dog to give him oral?
The audience laughs.
The audience laughs.
The audience laughs.
The audience laughs.
The audience laughs.
The audience laughs.
The audience laughs.
The audience laughs. The audience laughs. The audience laughs. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Sorry, but seriously, this movie is so bad. You know what's even worse? The fact they made a sequel.
Oh God, don't even get me started on that.
But speaking of sequels, did you guys know that Jun and I actually got married on the set of the sequel to this movie?
Audience gasps.
Yeah, it was kind of a spur of the moment thing.
We were both so fed up with the production that we just decided to alope.
And the best part? We exchanged our vows while a bunch of puppies
were running around our feet.
Audience laughs.
Audience laughs.
Yep, it was a pretty ridiculous day.
But hey, at least we have a funny story to tell now.
And a terrible movie to look back on.
Definitely.
But hey, that's what makes it so perfect
for how did the skett made. I don't know about all this.
I'm unselfish.
I feel like I feel revealed.
I feel vulnerable right now.
I do too and I don't like this.
It's so interesting.
It's the each of the scripts is thirds, right?
The first third is we're talking about the movie.
The second third is I say something gross,
you guys correct me.
And the third third is your guy's marriage.
That's both scripts are that.
That's fucking crazy.
What?
I freaked out right now.
What is this, Paul? Why did you do this?
This is what Scott found.
He said everyone's talking about it.
All right, I'm gonna go out to the audience right now.
All right, sir.
Your name, if you have a dog name,
you can give me that.
The one that would be great for 12 pups of Christmas.
And then your question.
Demani and then maybe Missile Tile?
Like it.
I love that.
So I'm trying to make sure I understand this correctly.
Carly, so she accepts the job in San Francisco
before she knows that her fiance is
going to break up with her.
Is that correct?
That leaves.
So Carly is Aaron. Yes, yes.
So, but Carly has hired her, even though she knows she's married, to come date her brother.
Yeah, you see, that was my issue.
Oh, I think she's...
Oh, wow, yeah.
I think that she said, at the end of the movie, she said, I did my research on you, and I
knew that you were divorced because when she said...
Okay, you know what, though, Paul?
I think Carly is so brilliant. And I think
Carly probably is already hacked into that private server. Maybe. Wow. She's a CEO
nine times. Carly knows. Carly is a hacker. We just missed the scene where she
like hacks like Hugh Jackman to like rap rock and figures out like that that Aaron's been dumped.
Here we go, your name, question, dog, name, dog, question.
Yeah, my name is Regan, dog name, Holly Berry.
My question is at the very end of the movie,
the angel investor who comes in and saves the company,
is his dad who he met in jail?
And you didn't know that his dad was a billionaire, I don't.
Well, yeah, I was confused about that too.
I was gonna ask him to do something.
Oh, I think his dad came and bailed him out of jail.
Oh.
Yes, but it was really confusing.
The way it was set up, it was the unmacmonment.
I agree, and I agree that that was a...
Listen, are you suggesting the movie is not well written?
Or is confusingly written?
Absolutely, but it seemed to me that he was saying his dad
came to bail him out from jail.
It's so interesting that the dad didn't join the first round
of funding, but was like, now that the company's
in this position, I'm in.
But also, but frankly, I'm with the dad.
I'm with the dad that other product was fake.
Was not good.
I wouldn't have invested in it either.
I guess
Martin is dragging Carly down with him
I do San Francisco I hate to do this I've had so much fun I do have to get on a flight back to LA
and I know this is a huge disappointment I know I know we have our our wonderful nanny has given birth
so we are desperate and child care situations so that's why June's gonna go back and
I'm gonna figure out how to get back there in a couple days. So sorry to leave you and if Paul doesn't come back, enjoy him San Francisco, enjoy Paul's
year. Obviously we had an opinion about this movie but there are people out there with a different
opinion. It's now time for second opinions. A fairer piss for dogs
And in this weird tech start-up, there's no one in HR.
I'm better with dogs than people.
So I miss it by my star?
Amazing.
Amazing Christmas spirit.
Great work.
Great work.
Very festive.
All right, so there are 93 total reviews.
59% are five star.
10% are one star.
We'll read some of those one stars as well.
But this one is written
by anonymous, May 22nd, 2020. I love this movie.
The hacker group? I think so. When they're not...
I would love it. If that's anonymous, if that's part of what they were up to.
Leave me Amazon reviews for holiday movies. You work hard to play hard.
Anonymous writes,
love Charlotte Sullivan in this movie.
So good.
Love her.
You're being real pervy with this boy.
See her.
Wait, hold on.
I love, I love this movie.
Charlotte Sullivan is so good in this movie.
I love her.
See her.
Be her.
Self shy.
And see her different role than rookie blue.
Love her as Gail Peck on she is one of my favorites of the show besides Aliyo Bryan, the
one who played Tracy and Chloe Dove and Oliver and Captain Noel.
Happy face, applause, applause, thumbs up, star, star, star, star, star.
I could watch us over and over again, like buy it on DVD, own it now. We'll go to DVD DVD emoji DVD emoji
Now that's a weird review
But wow as our
Producer Scott pointed out three people click that review is being helpful wow
Here you keep reading I'm sorry, I'm going to go pee.
Oh, yeah, well this is, yeah, great.
All right, and then, yeah, okay, got it.
And then this one right here is from Heather McKenzie.
Not afraid to use her full name.
It's a one-star review.
And the title is, not a feel-good Christmas movie.
The lead character is a bitter, spiteful, juvenile person who is a canine
therapist. She insists the dogs are intuitive to human feelings and yet she's not a happy
person. I would not take my lab to her because they would come back like Oscar the Grouch.
The puppies are cute though, one star. And what I'll mention here is another one of our producers, Molly, she points out that
she has a friend who was a background artist in this film and all the San Francisco scenes
were shot in LA.
It was all shot during the summer and the actors were very uncomfortable in their winter
clothes.
They did shoot some scenes in New York City,
but also it was summer, because people in the background
are wearing t-shirts and shorts.
That one point behind the lead actors,
you see two jet ski riders go by.
And finally, this director, Michael Felter, seems to have taken a sharp pivot with this film
as his earlier films were Bundy, a legacy of evil.
Boston Strangler, the untold story.
Edgene, the butcher of playing field.
Chicago Massacre, Colin Richardsck, and BTK.
But once he did make this movie, we did get to see a different side, and we are now going
to get to show you some of that different side because he also directed The Dog Who Saved
Christmas, The Dog Who Saved Christmas Vacation, The Dog Who vacation, the dog is saved the holidays, a Christmas
wedding tale, a dog's Christmas miracle, and a golden Christmas 3.
So when you talk about the greats, Kubrick, Spielberg, but Michael Fifer in there. He goes from serial killers to just dogs having fun at Christmas.
The movie came out in 2019.
The tagline is, this Christmas brings a little puppy love.
And there's no tomato meter rating here.
But Jason, I think that you, June, and I can all agree, this is a must watch.
Absolutely.
I mean, this one... Ha-ha-ha!
This one, I mean, I, again, we didn't get to so many
of the notes that I made, which was...
Which is always, for me, the case in a movie
that I truly thoroughly enjoyed for what we're doing.
Yes. I'm looking at this thing and I'm like,
oh, we didn't talk about this. We didn't talk about this.
I feel the same. I'm a kid.
I love that. This movie is absolute dog shit, literally.
The scene we briefly mentioned with this,
they're falling in love in New York,
and the winter scene is like shot clearly in summer.
I wrote down, there is no chemistry between any of these people.
I wrote down, tell it to the judge so many times. I wrote down Tell It To The Judge so many times.
I wrote down one line that I really wanted to talk about where she arrives at the Christmas
party and goes, I forgot it was Christmas.
What?
This company deserves to fail.
Before we get out of here, I want to take two quick things.
One thing is this, drop dead Fred, one of our biggest episodes, one of
the most divisive episodes of all time. Come on! Team Fred, where are we at? Team Sanity,
where are we at? San Fran is Sanity 10. Well, team Sanity getting a lot of cheers in San
Francisco. We are making a limited edition vinyl album, you can pre-order it for Christmas,
it won't probably come until May,
because we're making one pressing,
and then when it's done, it's done.
That's it, you have to order by December 21st,
go to httpgm.bancamp.com.
Mitch Garrett, who did our poster
that some of you might have gotten here,
is gonna do original art for the album labels themselves.
There's gonna, this is fucking cool, everybody.
We're excited about it.
This is for nerds, but this is great stuff.
Especially if you are on board for what is, I believe, in arguably one of the best episodes
of this dumb show.
One of the most insane ones.
I mean, there it was.
One of the most argumentative ones of all time.
The beauty of the analog recording is that you can hear Casey Wilson's vocal cords pop during the show
because she injured her vocal cords screaming so much.
It was amazing and one of the few times that we regret
not having people take pictures during the show
because we need more documentation
and we have so little of it,
but it was masterfully engineered by Devon Bryant,
our producer who is with us here tonight,
as well, recording the show, an amazing addition
to this team, an amazing producer, editor, engineer,
the whole thing.
One of the greats.
Give it up for Devon.
Give it up for Devon.
Give it up for Devon.
And I'll be remiss if I didn't mention this,
but this is not announced yet, but I figured we're all
cool. We can talk about it here. On December 16th and 17th, Rob Hubel and I I'll be remiss if I didn't mention this, but this is not announced yet, but I figured we're all cool
We can talk about it here on December 16th and 17th Rob Hubel and I are hosting a show that we created called celebrity garage sale
Where we are giving away a Hyundai on Twitch the first time it's ever been done and we are having and seeing guests on there like Randall Park and Janelle James
Pupies from Jackass.
Oh my gosh, I'm blanking on so many people.
Carl Tartn, a coal buyer.
Oh my gosh, I'm blanking.
What's the Hyundai?
The Hyundai, this one.
Oh, oh.
I'm sorry, I should have looked back.
Yeah, that's exactly that.
Yeah, we're giving away a big car.
And the whole idea of the show is that celebrities come on,
and maybe even Jason will come on,
they'll bring an item, anything from their house and then you'll have a chance to bid on it,
you don't have to use real money and then we will give it to you, we'll send it to you so you can
get weird celebrity shit like you know for handle parks like this is the t-shirt I wore to propose to my
wife, if you guess the price of it you get it. I don't think you can get that. Is that what he's
bringing? We were hypothesizing these are things that you could bring.
That would be amazing.
Yeah, I'd love to own something that someone proposed to someone.
I think, I mean, with Caitlin Olson will be there,
it's going to be just jam-packed full of people bringing on items,
guessing, and we're going to co-host with Eva Anderson,
who is our appraiser, she will dictate the price,
amazing.
And then the final end will be giving away this car,
but it's two out of these days.
So it's like one part Antique's road show.
Yes.
One part like celebrity auction.
Yes.
Got it.
And the only thing we can't give away are they said,
don't give away any weapons or anything living.
So we couldn't give away 12 pops of Christmas here.
That's too bad, because I was going to bring
a sentient AK-47.
See, this is what I'm saying, but...
All right, well, thank you, San Francisco!
Photoshop, poppies, the inner hand!
Thank you, and everything.
Thank you so much. We'll be back. Bye-bye.
Each shit!
you