How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Ernest Goes To Jail

Episode Date: May 20, 2024

Lesley Arfin (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Love) joins Paul, June, and Jason to break down Ernest P. Worrell’s antics in the 1990 slapstick comedy Ernest Goes To Jail. They discuss Ernest’s imperviousness to electricity, his ability to fly, and his Rube Goldberg contraptions that seem to always hurt people. Plus, June reveals she thinks that bad Jim Varney's lookin' kinda nice. (Originally Released 05/20/2014) Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, and more.Pre-Order Paul’s book about his childhood, Joyful Recollections of Trauma, wherever books are soldFor extra Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerHDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerFollow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/Check out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter

Wrongly imprisoned, this is a story of a hero's triumph over the prison system to come back to a life in normal society. We saw Ernest goes to jail, so you know what that means. Now it's time for How to Discapade. We're gonna have a good time, celebrate some failure, not just be a hater, cause either you wonder how to discapade. Let's follow in the mediocrity of subpar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question, how did this get made?

Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made? I am Paul Sheer, joined as always by June Diane Raphael. How are you, June? I'm great. How are you doing, Paul? Very good. And Jason Manzoukas, how are you? Jason.

Oh, Paul, you know what? I'm fine. I'm fine. I just watch this movie, so. We have a very special guest, a very funny, talented writer. You know her from shows like Girls, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and her book, Dear Diary, Leslie Arfin. Hi. Hi.

Welcome to our show. Thank you for asking me to do this. I am so excited about this. And you're welcome for having an opportunity to watch Ernest goes to jail Oh my god, this must have been huge for you guys I'm gonna say I'm gonna admit it right off the top of the bat I cried at Ernest goes to camp like that movie when you were a kid Okay, cuz he had that song about he likes to cry in the rain because you can't see the teardrops very moving

I did not follow the further adventures of Ernest, scared stupid, goes to Africa. Africa? Okay, you can't even find that. I know. And I had somebody, one of our interns was able to watch it and it was not as racist as you would think it would be. Which is a-

Oh, Ernest goes to Africa? Yeah, which is a bummer because you feel like at that point they probably just were like, well, fuck it. Goes to jail was a little racist. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's still a little bit here. You just assumed that Ernest goes to Africa would be way worse. I don't remember watching any of the other movies, but the first thing that came up for me was,

I was curious, is the conceit in all of the Ernest movies that there's another character that looks like Ernest? No, I don't think so. In what sense? So let's, you know, so in Africa, maybe there's a black Ernest. African American Ernest. There's not an African American Ernest.

I thought. So it's an American. We moved back to Africa, that's correct. He has repatriated himself to his birth country. That's correct. And so he's an African American living in Africa. Yes. It looks like Ernest.

Is that the conceit? No, the conceit from Ernest, from what I understand, is Ernest is always a janitor who is striving to be something else. So like in this one, he wants to be a junk sin suit. But he's not always a janitor at the bank. No. Sometimes it's at camp. Or in Africa. Yes. I don't know the reasoning why he goes to Africa, but I do know there's one movie where Kareem Abdul-Jabbar gives him magic sneakers and becomes

an amazing basketball player. But he's probably a janitor at an NBA facility. But none of the players that are in Ernest Goes to Jail are also in, and none of the townspeople. No, the only one that is in, this is one of my favorite characters in the entire movie, is the old guy who doesn't speak. The guy with the gun. Bobby, Bill Burgey.

Oh, the guy from Raising Arizona. Oh, no, no, that's his prison mate. This is like the older man who had that crazy face. He looks like the kid from Road Trip. DJ Qualt? Yeah. You're growing up. Well, by the way, there are a lot of characters in this movie

who don't speak for the entire movie and then start speaking in the last 20 minutes. Yeah, there's a lot. He's one of them. Well, I will talk about this guy, Bill Berge, I guess. He retired. He worked in a Nashville library, and then retired to start acting in earnest movies,

and that's pretty much all. Specifically, and his dream was achieved? I guess he may have been friends with. So specific. I'm retiring, I'm gonna work in these earnest movies, so I'm moving to California to figure that out, and he does it. I think that that's, he's only been in earnest movies He was 81 years old must know him

Oh, I guess he's 81 now. Sorry. Yes. He's 81 now, but yes, so he he's the only reoccurring character, but does not play Does not play the same. Oh, can she plays Bobby in every one of the movies? I'm just looking at right now Yes, thank God. Okay, but he's not with Chuck in every single movie not that I know of okay Can I ask a question? Yeah, we haven't even gotten into the movie You know what and if we never do Our lives will all be richer for it What does what what where does Ernest come for like? What is the origin of this character? There are okay? Well, there are a couple things that I know and this is true true. Ernest, you might think, oh, maybe this

is a Groundlings character. He was a stand-up comic who created the character. Like a Pee-wee Herman type character. It was created by an ad agency, and he was cast as this character. Oh, for the ad? Oh, wait, wait, wait. What was the product?

I remember this now. The Ernest character was created by a national advertising agency called Carden and cherry He used to be in commercials throughout the country. Yeah, and you mostly in dairy commercials at first Oh, then moved up to news and local TV promos. He was a guy was like, hey burn Burn we never saw burn That was a joke the audience the people at home were very because he's always talking to the camera and burn was like in the shower Or guys, I think I don't care for that. Philosophically speaking we are all Vern.

Now the character got so successful from commercials that he was spun off into a TV show called Hey Vern it's Ernest and then I don't know how long that lasted I'm sure I can find that out. I thought the TV came after the movies. No, because it said in the opening credits of the movie that he had won an Emmy. He was Emmy award winning. It said that? Yes, it said that. In the credits? Why did I say that?

In the credits? I fast forwarded to credits. By the way, it was the longest credit sequence I've ever seen in my life, but I'm pretty sure it said that. Hey, Vern, it's Ernest Drain for 13 episodes, and then he went right on to do Ernest goes to Splash Mountain a Disney movie What did he what did we exactly wait? What can we win in our children's? programming after yeah Gonna blow up your whole podcast is this movie did really well

Yes, and he it was it got made because kids loved him. It was like a huge franchise. Yeah, I mean I loved this movie. I mean I loved those. Ernest Goes to Camp. You did? Ernest, not this one. That was a good one. Ernest Goes to Camp. Was that the first? I think it was. I didn't see it.

That was the one that had the most, like a snapping turtle bit his nose. Like that was classic Ernest. Oh yeah. Sounds familiar. I remember that in the trailer. I'm having a flashback. But he was also like a straighter Peewee? A shittier dressed Peewee.

Right, but see I did not find him lovable. Well because his houses still have all those machinations of Peewee. Yeah, I had a question about that and we can wait till we get, I don't know how it goes. You can go, I mean, June didn't find him lovable. Okay. I didn't. Yeah, I don't know how it goes. You can go, I mean, June didn't find him lovable, so you're like. I didn't.

Yeah, I don't know if he. This is shocking news. If I may, this is shocking news. Are we supposed to think that he is different? And if he is challenged, why is his house a Rube Goldberg adventure? Yes, contraption. Yes. Well, I had trouble with all those contraptions because I usually find them satisfying in movies

when they take ummmmm they're just satisfying to watch Can you give me like two examples? Oh, he has like five That's true. Yeah, like he's the only one. But usually that they make life easier on some level And for his contraptions, it was just like... I wrote this thing.

A rubber thing hitting the TV. Yeah, there was no strategy to it. It was like, why would you even want, why would you start to create that? What problem are you solving with this product? His products seemed to hurt him. Like, instead of a shower, which is a relatively simple contraption,

he created a washing machine that he puts himself in and is finally shook. You know what, we haven't even talked about the powder aspect of this movie. The movie powder? That he became powder conveniently. I say he became Electro, but that's just the kind of nerds that we represent.

I was like, oh, so this is like, Ernest becomes powder. Yeah. Well, in the first couple seconds of the movie, he is violently electrocuted. Oh yes. And he's repeatedly, he is, a degree of voltage is put through his body repeatedly throughout this movie.

At one point, this is a children's movie, I believe, now. At one point, he is electrocuted in an electric chair in a prison, which should kill him, but only makes him more powerfully magnetic. That was my favorite part. I really wanna talk about, cause it is in one of the first scenes, the science behind his conductivity

and how it cracks through the movie. Do you wanna talk about the science that gets us even to that? behind his conductivity and how it cracks through the movie. Do you want to talk about the science that gets us even to that? Which begins with the floor buffer that has a sticker on it that says, do not flick switch rapidly. Which he has been doing repeatedly. And then that floor buffer can climb walls and go across the ceiling. I would argue the floor buffer is like the, you know,

antagonist of the movie. Or the catalyst. Or the catalyst. It basically, if this was like, to break it down on a superhero origin story, it is because of the floor buffer that his latent mutant talents are awoken and he's given this like magneto kind of electric. I was gonna say like is this any

Is this what we're gonna see in the new spider-man movie? Yeah kind of this, you know Maybe Jamie Foxx is playing with a floor buffer. I heard a huge part of his a ripoff of this Huge part he becomes electrocuted. Well, I don't even remember because of the floor buffer Yeah, light falls on the light the lamp the light lamp falls on him after the floor buffer has poured gallons of water that onto... The floor buffer shouldn't have had that much water in it. There is definitely a problem in that. I don't think floor buffers have water in them.

I'm going to argue that too. Controversial statement. They don't have water. But do they shoot out a lot of foam like shampoo? Oh my god, the foam was a real... Do they not obey the rules of gravity? No. There was another part in this movie that got really...

They didn't obey, they abandoned all rules when Bobby... Yes. The cop. Peaks behind the coat rack. I love this scene. I don't know how to describe it. This is like a Looney Tunes scene. To the radio.

It's really hard to describe. This is a Looney Tunes scene. That was crazy. Just picture a microphone stand and a grown man peeking out from one side, but his other side is, you can't see it. So it is like a Looney Tunes peek. It's a Looney Tunes thing where he keeps popping up,

he's spying on the earnests, our earnests, oh God. Evil earnest. He's spying on evil earnest, the double, but he keeps popping up all over the bank, it's like boing, boing, boing, and then yeah, everything that physics doesn't make sense. And you know they put that in because they were like, this is so classic, this is funny,

we gotta do this bit. There is so many things, I mean again, this movie starts off in the... Just to even pull it back to the beginning before we even get into the prison element of it, the movie starts off with the premise that the two men who work in the bank as security guards are frightened and scared of Ernest cleaning the bank while they're all in it together. Of a noise. They're just frightened and scared of a noise. And that seems to be his job, which is he is the night janitor.

By the way, the hours and times in this movie never make sense. The court is getting out at midnight. The boss goes, I have to go, I'm late for dinner. The sun is shining. It's 1 p.m. The people in prison are working during, I mean... None of it makes sense.

Ernest could have been in jail in this movie for 12 months or 12 hours. I have no idea. So basically, so that opening sequence with the cops and everything, that's fine. Can I just say that, okay, so to go back to the science for a second, he gets electrocuted by a lamp and then becomes, I guess, a conductor. Well, he becomes magnetic. Yes, until his face gets smudged. He's like magnetized.

He's magnetized. Everything metal starts shooting across the room and sticking to him. Right. But that goes away for most of the movie. I did enjoy the scene, I'm not going to lie, I did enjoy the scene where he takes Charlotte, the love interest, out on a date and the spoon started. Yeah. I thought that was funny.

Because he went like that and he put his fists against his face like a little kid and he looked cute. Yes. Well that love romance between him. I had a real problem. I had a lot of problems with this because Ernest is speaking like a three year old kid. He's like, I don't have,

like he's like, I don't have confidence that that man's a bad man. In case just for the listeners, and I don't know, there are probably listeners who are like, I don't actually know what this is. Ernest is conservatively a 60 year old man. Okay, no, I want to say that is a part of the problem. He is in his 50s.

Yeah, it's strange. Well, I will say that Jim Varney passed away at the age of 50 during pre-production of Ernest the Pirate, which is half finished. Ernest the Pirate? Changing the rules. Yes, changing the rules. And by the way, just another side note about Jim Varney he was a smoker a very bad smoker so I got a long can he would always and the lit end in his mouth he was never knew

how to do it put it in his ear but that's why in this movie even he says don't smoke he goes I they goes I like I go hey want a cigarette before he's about to get electrocuted oh I think he just realized that as a person, I don't know if he had cancer during this film. It said on Wikipedia that once he found out he had cancer, he quit smoking and did a PSA. So maybe he did. As Ernest, yeah, so who knows.

That's very sad. Also, when he was evil, when he was his doppelganger, and Ernest was Jim Varney. He was hot. He was as fuck. Yes, I agree. I totally agree. I was actually like. Wait, what is happening?

I 100% agree. I was shocked. Shocked and he was kind of aching to do drama. Well, here's the thing. You know he actually did do some drama. And he was so good as evil Ernest. Really good. He was great to do drama. Well, here's the thing. You know, he actually did do some drama. And he was so good as Evil Ernest. Really good. He was great.

Jason. At one point I thought to myself. You know I'm right. I never thought, I never was like, ooh, this is getting me going now. I was shocked and at one point I thought to myself, is he really attractive or, and I thought he was oozing sexuality. Totally.

Oozing? Oozing sexuality. Jimba Ernest. In the Ernest movie. I agree. In Ernest, okay, I just wanna make sure in Ernest Goes to Jail, there was a character that was oozing sexuality for you.

Yes. Yeah. Wowsers. And that was really cute. And then he sort of raped. I know. There was a rape scene. Yes, there was a rape scene.

But what were you gonna say? This is a children's movie. I was gonna say, at one point I thought, okay, this is, it's just in comparison to how childlike and boyish Ernest is that I'm thinking bad Ernest is attractive. But looking back on it, I don't think that was the case. I think we can tell Yeah, I think we I think that we can admit I think we're mature enough

That we can admit you know what this is just a compare situation No, this is you know Well if June is going to be if June is going to take over the role of If June is going to be, if June is going to take over the role of thinking something is overly sexual when it isn't, then I have to say, this is very upsetting. Ha ha ha ha! No. You know what, for people listening.

I'm sorry, I was, I was. Google, if you Google Jim Varney right now. I'm looking at a picture of him and he is at. Look at that picture, Jason. He's not a bad looking guy. Okay, sure, sure, sure. He's weathered and he's. You know what, he's rugged.

He did do a drama called Wilder Napalm. He's also earnest in this movie. You didn't see a Jim Varney movie on its own. I'm gonna tell you. You know who's not so bad looking when he's not earnest is Jim Varney. No, own and be like, hey, you know who's not so bad looking when he's not Ernest is Jim Varney. No, you watched an Ernest movie. I saw the Jim Varney commercial.

He wanted to come out. Let's talk about this. Jim Varney plays three characters in this movie, Ernest P. Worrall, Mr. Felix Nash, and Auntie Nelda. Where he was suddenly super smart. That's another confusing thing. He does great impressions. Well, he does great impressions as there's a scene

we actually should play the clip at a certain point. Ernest is, well, we should just get into the idea of why he is in jail. He is serving on a jury, and he happens to look like a criminal mastermind. That was a great scene. I was the scene I laughed at, where he's chewing on his

pants and the ink gets on his face. But then I got upset. I got the ink in the mouth and all over the face was making me dry heat. I wrote that I go this is like what it's like for me to watch Saw because I was like oh I don't like. When he started chewing the paper I was like ugh. That was don't like, ooh, ooh. Like I got, when he started chewing the paper, I was like, ugh, ugh. Yeah. Oh, that was awful. There's a lot of wet mouth sounds. I'm like gagging right now. There's a lot of wet mouth sounds in that scene

and I really can't handle wet mouth sounds. You guys know how I feel about wet mouth sounds. And this one scene has like, is because he's chewing on wet paper and his face is covered in like a real- It's green. It's green, and it's like dripping, it looks wet, it's a wet ink. It almost looks like blood, like black blood.

But the judge says, sir, are you okay? I think it's African American blood. Yes. And then we look at him and he's covered in ink and chewing on paper and he says, I'm fine. And I thought that was very funny. Well, Ernest. I also thought it was funny.

I mean, actually, I thought this whole sequence was funny, that when he sort of thinks he's still on jury duty and that they're just being very thorough about it and wakes up in jail. Like, I had a couple good laughs. Basically, Ernest is a victim of a criminal mastermind because the criminal mastermind realizes that he looks like Ernest so he could get he could swap places with him so Ernest goes to jail as

Basically everyone thinks he's this criminal mastermind in jail and then on the outside sweet poor Ernest Who everyone loves is planning to rob a bank that that's basically yeah, it's a switcheroo movie now Here's a wild card of an observation. Sure. The colors in this movie. Oh, I'm so glad you brought that up. Yeah, I will. Great. So glad you brought that up.

OK, thank you. Do you want to go just straight for the uniforms of the guards at the prison? Here's what's interesting about those costumes. Well, the guards are wearing bright pink suits. Sort of kind of like zoot suits. They look like they're in one of our future weird movies. It reminded me of what Raul Julia looks like in Street Fighter.

They're very big shoulder pads, pink. Which was just such a choice and such a sort of defining characteristic of this world and it was so kind of cartoonish. Was that to make it less threatening to kids, do you feel like? To make it seem more colorful and less scary? You know, because I'm assuming this movie was aimed at kids for kids. Well, that's the thing that's surprising. It was NC-17 when it came out. Well, when that rape scene happened,

I was genuinely like, what is happening here? But I was assuming that some of that stuff was to make it seem like poppy and not as kind of like. Well it is a heavy topic for children. The way that they shot that whole, first of all there were two sets in the movie. The bank set, the bank set. The walls are cardboard. I was just going to say, paper.

It is, yeah. It does look, it looks like, yeah, I've never seen more of a set. So much so, when they actually do an overhead shot, it really shows the whole room because there's no roof. But the prison was also, it was so dark in there. The lighting. The lighting, I didn't see anything. Well, I thought that the costume designer was like, let's make their jackets hot pink

because in the lighting they'll look red. And I thought she was dumb because. Interesting. Because everybody else in the movie wore army green or blue. Everyone else. Well, I was also just to talk. I mean, I know it's a kids movie and we can't get to too much in detail, but the idea that

the evil prisoner was able to have a matching earnest prison outfit. Like basically the evil prisoner puts on like an earnest jean jacket, but it's green. No, he swapped clothes with him. No, no, but he also had green vests. Before he bonked him on the head, he was wearing a green prison vest and a green prison hat.

They were like the prison colors of Ernest's outfit, which I don't know how he looked like. No, you're right, yeah. Unless you would have believed that this whole prison also had Ernest outfits as well. But the girlfriend wore green. And blue at one point. I wanna get into that relationship in a mage.

Yes, mage. I want to really dig it up. I should talk about it. All right, so Ernest has a relationship with Charlotte Sparrow. So Charlotte Sparrow is this nice woman who works at the bank and is really smitten with Ernest. And at first she's saying, look, we're going to go out for dinner just as friends, which I thought was a little bold.

She wants to help him get a promotion at the bank. She also wants a promotion. She also wants a promotion, but not for the same job. Like, yes. And so she's helping him out in a way that I was like, oh, she's helping the janitor. But then it turns into a weird date and that's when it starts getting real weird.

But does she like him? I don't think so. Well, no, she says it. She says immediately, she goes, she says, when they're sitting there, she's like, oh my gosh, you're so funny. Like, he made that joke, like he makes a dumb, like a real, like, fifth grader joke. Yeah, she loved that joke.

And it was so weird that she liked it because it seemed to me that he, like she was actually trying to open up to him. Yeah. And he was completely dismissive. Yeah. But she loved it. She goes, Ernest, this is him. And he was completely dismissive. But she loved it. She goes, Ernest, this is fun.

You make good company. And then later on she says, I haven't gotten a chance to take a break from my job. Which is like, she just works in a local bank. It's not like that, you don't know if you take that work home with you. In the other movies, does Ernest have love interests? And is he a sexual being?

In the other movies, they have penetrative sex. They show. They show penetrative sex. I'm imagining that in all the movies when he's sticking it in, he definitely I think has, I think he has, I imagine he has a love interest in every movie. I think it's interesting that children's movies do that. They have this platonic love interest. Because they never really get together at the end. No, it's like the princess and Super Mario Brothers or Donnie and Pewie.

It's like there's always a, but they don't do anything. There's no point to them. Little kids don't give a shit about a love interest, right? Or maybe girls. Maybe that gets the girls in. What she ended up serving as was really stakes for him once he got to prison to sort of go along with the fact that he was a bad earnest because they threatened

to kill her. Well, that was his whole motivation to get out. He seemed to have no problem being in prison if only, the only reason to get out of prison was to save this girl that he only had one dinner with that just wanted to be friends. I had a heart. I did not pay attention like you guys did. out of prison was to save this girl that he only had one dinner with that just wanted to be friends. I had a heart, I did not pay attention like you guys did.

I had a very hard time watching this movie. I get it. You know? Do you remember when he had a lobster on his face? Yes, which means that the lobster was alive when they were gonna serve it, right? I had trouble with that too, because the lobster grabbed onto his nose and cheeks.

Yes! It clamped down. But because the lobster grabbed onto his nose and cheeks But is the lobster well yeah that I didn't know the lobster being alive the lobster is the lobster magnetic Well, here's the thing Something on that plate was magnetic The gravy was being served sort of upside down to have like flown And alive it was definitely to have like flown like that and alive. It was definitely, no, it was dead. The lobster was dead because it was red. But how was it stuffed?

An alive lobster is green. Right, but it was clamped onto his face though. Yeah, but how did it, why did it clamp off? Oh yeah, I think that was just because the thing pushed it up on his face and they thought it was a funny joke. Oh. Well yeah, I would buy that that's a funny joke.

I laughed. Yeah, a lobster. You guys were buying that. Okay. Do you guys remember when he gave a buttery hand job to a breadstick? Oh, that was so upsetting. Tell me about that. That was so, I was really like, what the fuck is that?

The butter tray flew at him because on the date he's magnetized again. Which, why? But no reason to be magnetized. No, no, no. There is a reason. Because his dryer is, his giant size human dryer is broken. He opens up the circuit breaker and he's like, oh, there it is. I got a short here and he touches it and he electrocutes himself again.

Oh. I missed that. It was too much of a delay for me because it felt like, it seemed like his magnetic powers only lasted for about four to five minutes. Oh man, you see, that's the thing is you're just not getting the extent of Ernest's magnetic powers. Remember when he gets cocky?

I mean, his power set is pretty clear. Well, he gets cocky at the end. Very cocky. And then it dribbles out. It's like, it is only for two minutes. Yeah, it's like a guy who's like. It dribbles out and turns into fairy dust? Yeah. Yeah, that was an odd moment where he just stares at the dust at his feet.

I felt sad for him there. It's like a guy who takes a Viagra and comes immediately. That's what I felt like. That's the subtext of this movie, right? Just so you guys know also, all these movies were written... Oh, well, I guess this one wasn't, but were all directed by John R. Cherry, who worked on this. Oh, this one wasn't? This one was.

It was written by Charlie Cohen. Normally, John R. Cherry would write them as well. JRC. JRC. He was from the ad firm F. Carden and Cherry. That's so interesting. I didn't know about this advertising. I'm actually kind of creeped out by it.

I remember him doing all the commercials, but I'm kind of creeped out by the fact that he's so like, it's like the Geico caveman. It's like, you know, it's a really is he is a created. You never find out like how Ernest came to be who he is. Like what the. He's just a janitor. He's southern. He's not well. Right. Well, at moments he seems really here. Here's the thing. I will say In this movie alone. I see numerous things that happen to him that could cause him to have severe brain damage So if in the earlier movies those things happen as well, I'm getting like I'm getting a lot of blunt force trauma to the head He doesn't have like a fantastical world. No. He's a janitor of the street.

No, he does. His house looks really dumpy. His house looks so trashy. Well, you might see on True Detective in that final episode when they find the Yellow King. Oh my god, his house is the Yellow King's death cave. And he does the voices like the fucking Yellow King guy. He does. Oh my god, that's amazing. He's the Yellow King's death cave. And he does the voices like the fucking Yellow King guy. He does, oh my God, that's amazing.

That's, I would love it. He's the Yellow King. I would love it if Carcosa was instead that mousetrap style, like Rube Goldberg machine rather than just sticks and twigs. Oh, please someone make a true detective poster with Ernest on it, I wanna see that. Well, it seemed also that he was doing his bathing

and like general hygiene stuff at the bank. No. No, in the washing machine. Where was that? That was down in his house, yeah. That's the basement of his house? But I'm really confused about that because then he, there's the next scene where he gets out of the truck.

No, no, no, he gets out of the truck with Chuck and... Bobby. Bobby, and walks into his house. Yeah, he lives next door to them. Remember, he gets the jury notice and runs to the house next door to tell them. Oh, I know, but he first cleans. And they are shooting at him indoors. I understand.

Oh, he cleans up before he goes. He cleans up before he goes home. Oh. Oh, you may be right. Yeah, I thought that was in the basement. Because it was like in the basement. It may have been the bank. In like a locker room that he had fashioned.

Really? That's why, because there's probably no shower there, so he's like, oh, maybe what I'll do is I'll build a giant washing machine and a giant body blow dryer. He's a real inventor. Here's the weird thing about that washing machine. It's a washing machine. Like for clothes? For clothes, but it's got the functions of a blender.

Yes. Right. It looks like a washing machine, but it's got the functions of a blender. Yes. Right. It looks like a washing machine, but it's like puree is on it. And it's for a man. It's for a man to shower in. Which he showers in the jean jacket. Yeah.

Which ladies, did you find that sexy or what? Cause he had no shirt on. Oh yeah. Was this doing it for you? I didn't even notice that. It was, that was like the total, that was totally normal to me. That he wouldn't ever take his shirt off.

If I saw him without his jacket, I would lose my mind. Yeah. Oh man. I couldn't make heads or tails of almost any of this. The characters that I loved were Chuck and Bobby, and their lifestyle. Their relationship was pretty fascinating too.

They had a camo van, they were shooting guns in the house. They had a lot of like hand signals. Would they? Those hand signals made me laugh. Were they brothers? I think so. Well, they're like, it's like a Bert and Ernie thing.

Okay, gotcha. Oh, I buy that. Oh, yeah. I had Laurel and Hardy. But now, I wanna talk about when Ernest goes to jail. Representative of our respective ages, I think. When Ernest goes to jail, it seems like he is put in this prison

and the prisoners are automatically angry with him. It's like, you're gonna get what's coming to you inside and out, which is, that's an awful thing to say to anyone. Amazing. Yes. Because why would you want to hurt this poor man? Well then they had his back in prison and people were scared of him because they thought he was bad.

Well then the one guy who was from Raising Arizona, that guy was helping him escape two scenes later. Well look, everybody thought he was Nash. Right. But no, no, no. The guys in the prison knew he wasn't Nash. No, everybody thought he was Nash. Right. The guys in the prison knew he wasn't Nash. No, the Raising Arizona guy. Their version of Chuck and Bobby. I think those guys had to continue to support, had to support Ernest, real Ernest as bad Ernest.

Otherwise the bad guys in prison would come after them. That's why they make him win the arm wrestling. Because otherwise they think they know that they are weak now. Yes. All right. Yeah. But the reason why I think raising Arizona ultimately sided with Ernest was because he was racist.

He had a Confederate flag hung up in his room. He saw that. In his room? Yes. In his prison room? Yeah, his prison room. It was his room though. It wasn't a nice room, it did seem more decked out

than it was. When Ernest was his dorm mate? No, it's true. Ernest at one point is on a floral printed recliner in the prison cell, so it did seem more like a room. Oh, talking about the reveal of evil Ernest, they hide the fact that he looks just like Ernest for a long time to no.

For like 30 minutes. Yeah, for no dramatic effect, I don't think, because it's clearly Ernest. But it's like, who is this guy going to be? And when they finally reveal it, he's washing his face and he pulls down his towel. And it's like. He was shaving a beard. I know. Oh, he had a beard? I don't know. I think so. and they finally reveal that he's washing his face and he pulls down his towel. And it's like.

He's shaving a beard. I know. Oh, he had a beard? I don't know, I think so. Oh, I thought that they were. Wait. That's totally going along. You're leaving me straight with this whole idea

that they had not had a beard. What's the fantasy? What even? This is the fantasy. They were getting us ready. Why even invent that backstory? You don't, it's unnecessary. You know what?

I didn't have that fantasy, now I do. Ooh. Wait, no, no, no, no, if he had a beard, then he wouldn't look like Ernest. Bad Ernest with his sexy beard. That's why he had to shave it. He had a little scruffle. But then it would be weird,

they wanted you to shave your beard. There is categorically no evidence to suggest he had a beard in this movie. Is there is? There is none. When we are introducing him, he pulls down like a beard in this movie. There is none. There is zero. When we are introduced to him, he pulls down like a hot towel. Like he's just shaved. He's just cleaning himself.

That's a hot shave. Why wouldn't they show you him with the beard and then that would have been a better reveal. Like, oh, does this guy look like Ernest? I'm not sure. Because his voice was so different as bad Ernest. Oh yeah, that one kind of just sounded like that. The ladies know. The ladies know the backstory.

I think they handled that just right. Wait, I want to tell you why the electric chair was my favorite part. Please. Because it is the most powerful electric chair in the world, and every time he gets electrocuted he goes blablabla, blablabla. And I really like that. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That sounds like maybe he laughed too really hard.

It went on way too long. It was like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and he's not even really in the electric chair. They didn't put the thing on his head. No, and his hands aren't strapped down, so he's impervious to electricity. I can do that for days. Blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah. Here's what's weird though. It almost seems like. I just pictured him in an ADR room just like doing that nonstop. He couldn't stop. There was somebody working. There was a worker working on the electric chair

before he sat in it. Which I thought was Raising Arizona, like trying to help him get out. Oh. But it was not. That theory is bullshit. We I, because we've been alluding to it, I want to play the clips of Ernest doing all the impressions. This is how you get a chance to hear the rain. So this is Ernest in prison? In prison trying to

figure out how Nash sounds. Nash did not. Had to be tough. Yeah exactly, here you go. Hey, you, Murdoch, you're the guy that shot my brother, right? And I'm the guy that's gonna shoot you, eh? All right. Of all the gin joints in all the cities and all the world, you've got to waltz into my place and shoot my brother. Kids love a healthy, bogarty person. The animals cover up the shot. I don't think this movie is for kids, Jason.

Wait, wait. I think you're right. Stop the clip. Stop the clip. You don't think this is for children? You know what? Who is it for? Who? I can't really feel that way.

I'm going to just say that just so you know. There were a couple of things in there for the parents. A daytime Emmy award was, he was given a daytime Emmy award for an outstanding performer in a children's series for Haver and its earnest. So I would argue that because he won an Emmy as his character, it is for children. This has gotta be a kids movie. It is a kids movie.

It's definitely a kids movie. We're not debating this. We're not debating that this is a child's movie. This is a... Jason, you know that. June is the, wait, June is the, don't look at me. June just said I don't think this is a kids movie. It's just darker. It doesn't have that sort of levity that.

As we're going through, talking about this, I realize that this may be the issue with this movie. Every movie has been written and directed by John R. Cherry. This is the only one that was not written by him. So maybe they gave up the reins of the storytelling and Ernest went a little bit south. Now here's another thing. You talked about Laurel and Hardy a second ago.

John R. Cherry also rebooted Laurel and Hardy in the new adventures of Laurel and Hardy. Oh my god. For love of the money. The mummy. For love of the mummy. Now, and Ernest goes to camp. Click on that.

Who played Laurel and Hardy? Let's see. It wasn't these two guys. It wasn't these two cops. Bronson, no. Bronson Pinchot? He's in it as Stanley. Oh yeah, I guess, yeah. Stan Laurel. Oh, and the other guy!

The guy from this movie? The other guy from the movie! The others at the... Oh no, the Portley guy. The Portley guy. I liked him a lot. Chuck? That's amazing. Chuck?

Chuck and Bronson Pinchot were Laurel and Hardy I Want to see this we now are doing that The new adventures of all on Hardy, I love it. Um, okay, sorry got into like Ernest flying. Oh, yeah, that's right If you think there isn't flying in this movie There is a little bit of a precursor. Yeah, but wait for I would imagine. But wait there's more. Yes he does fly at the end because again his powers are a little unruly. It seems like he's able to float and also is rubber because in the end fight scene the bad Ernest is punching and by the way I had a problem with this bad Ernest because when they finally have their showdown they're both dressed exactly the same,

so I feel like that was all just to save money on set. He did his good earnest and walked over to the other side of the set and did his bad earnest. There was also no... I kept expecting there to be the moment of, like, -"Shoot him! Shoot him! I'm the one!" -"No." You know, like, that beat never happened. And it would have been great there to see bad earnest playing good earnest.

Exactly. That would have been a hoot. Bad Ernest playing good Ernest. Exactly. That would have been a hoot. Yeah. But no, we didn't have that satisfying moment at all. And Ernest just knocked him out somehow with maybe the buffer, I don't know, something. Here's the weird thing. Yeah, the buffer comes back here.

But the weird thing about Bad Ernest, as I think about it, is Bad Ernest was just a, he was about to go on death row. He was, he was about to be killed. He was about to be killed when he was still in jail, right, as Bad Ernest. Correct. I found it amazing, I mean I guess this is what happens a lot, but I found it amazing that as soon as he got out of jail he was staging a huge heist. You know, it's who he is. He had a great in. He worked at a bank. No, but my God, he was almost put to death. You thought he would see the arrow of his way?

Yeah. You think, given this second chance, he has now put Ernest on death row. And you think he should just go up on the straight and narrow? Well, if I were him, I would just be so happy to be alive. Well, here's the deal, though. He's got to be alive. Why did he get out of jail and not have sex with somebody immediately? Well, he tried.

He tried with Charlotte. He tried with Charlotte. It was basically a week later. Yeah, it took a little bit of time. Yeah, he doesn't do anything fun. Get a burger. Yeah, you're right. He just goes right into it.

He goes to the bank. Is that your idea of fun? Get a burger. Get a burger and a burger. Yeah, right. He just goes right into well Fun get a burger Well, they can eat we get that a court really late night It's a late night court session where they release the jury's pitch black Went on a field trip. Yes Okay, what was the justification of that? Why? Fell down. Well, no, no, I'm sorry. I know this. I do know this. Okay. On the trial, the guy on trial who has a Mohawk,

Mr. T looking guy, he realizes- He's also wearing a very angular, brightly colored suit. He realizes that Ernest looks just like Nash and he whispers to the lawyer, it looks just like him, we can do this. And the lawyer says, stands up and is like, I think the jury needs to go to the lawyer it looks just like you can do this and the lawyer says It stands up and is like I think the jury needs to go to the prison in order to see the circumstances in which this happened Yes to facilitate the switcheroo Wait say that again because I was based. I wasn't paying attention

I was thinking that again this movie's racist because the black guy was on trial. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so anyway what yeah No, this was nothing but a scathing indictment of our prison systems, which incarcerate an abnormally high ratio of black men to white men. And also. It's shocking. Yeah. I mean, that's what you get in there.

And that is the subtext. And that, I mean, you always are gonna get that. You get that in a subtext. Ernest, you get that in Ernest goes to the army. You get all those. And then, not to mention, you know, I don't know always are gonna get that. You get that in Slum Deck Ernest, you get that in Ernest Goes to the Army, you get all those. And then not to mention, you know, I don't know anything about Ernest Goes to Africa, but. I can only imagine that.

Well, the tagline to Ernest Goes to Africa is Africa will never be the same. Oh! Oh! How is this gonna be? How is this gonna be? These are the Ernest movies, by the way, just in case you wanna know them.

Ernest Goes to Camp made $24 million, right out the gate. That was in 1987. Ernest goes to camp made 24 million dollars right out the gate that was in 1987 Ernest goes to Christmas made 29 million Ernest Sorry, sorry saves Christmas. I know I know the number for jail Go for it 25 25. That's a third one, right? Then all of a sudden Ernest scared stupid drops that that goes to 14, you know why? Ernest Scared Stupid drops. That goes to 14. You know why?

Okay. You know why? Because I think if I'm into the Ernest movies and I'm like, uh-oh, he's even dumber in this one. Yeah. No thanks. People didn't want to see a scary Ernest movie, but then this is where everything goes downhill.

Because these movies were made in 87, 88, 90. So at 25 million for jail, huge. Scared Stupid, 14 stupid 14 then earnest rides again 1 million And now what would you think Ernest what year wait what these 93 this is now being eight years Yes of making it or is good. What would you guys think Ernest rides again is about just cuz I'm earnest rides again rides again So Western, okay. What do you think? my Rides again. Rides again. It's a Western. Okay, what do you think?

A motorcycle. Okay, June, do you have an idea? I was gonna say he's like, it's not like totally a Western, but he's a rodeo guy? No, he unearths a huge cannon that contains the crown jewels of England. What? He unearths a cannon? Yep.

That is the crown jewels of England? Yep, that is. So wherearthed is a canon? Yep. It was the Crown Jewels of England. Yep, that is. So where did we ride? Who wrote that one? Don't know. Did JRC write that? That was JRC. Come on.

Can we get him on the phone? Yep. I wanna talk to JRC. I wanna talk to him too. Whoa. That is, yeah. That's mind blowing. You know what, here's the thing.

I can imagine that in the other movies that are kind of more colorful and bright. Oh! He befriends a history professor and finds a revolutionary war cannon and must protect it from others who want the precious jewels inside. There it is.

What it's gonna say is that Ernest has a special shot, a special camera move. It's like Ernest cam. Yeah, fish eye. Where it's just say is that Ernest has a special shot, a special camera move. It's like Ernest Cam where he's just right on. Yeah. Yeah. I can imagine the other movies, it really works because they're probably brighter and well lit and outside and more colorful. But when he's in prison and shot like that, it's a little scary.

Yeah. I don't like it. Is that supposed to be the Vern cam? Vern cam. Because you're right. You stare right into the camera. Oh, yeah. Because those were the commercials were like, hey, Vern, Vern.

And he would come right up into frame. Right up to camera. Yeah. But they didn't talk about Vern in this movie. No. No. Do they talk about Vern in the other one? Well, no.

Vern died in the first one. What? I'm just kidding. Did anyone else notice that the security guard, No. Verne died in the first one. What? I'm just kidding. Did anyone else notice that the security guard, I think it was Chuck the bigger guy, when he was screaming in the last bank sequence, his scream sounded like a horse's neigh? Oh, I didn't see. Did you hear that? No, I did not hear that.

I don't remember, but I could have walked it out. Do you care about talking about the fact that he flies in the movie? I mean, I don't know what to say. Yeah, what more can you say? He's electrocuted again in the bank. You know what, does powder fly in the powder's movie? I thought he levitates. Maybe he does.

Guys, I'm just, I'm doing- Like David Blaine style? I'm doing more reading about Jim Barney. And he did a lot of drama. He did a- He wanted to. He he was in he was one of the rebels in a midnight movie called existo Then his last movie was in a Billy Bob Thornton feature called daddy and them where he played uncle hazel I'm not surprised and he was arrested for murder in that and Yeah, he's done a lot. Yeah, he's done a lot of more serious roles. He wanted to. He had to. I mean, he had the training.

I think he had the looks. You guys can admit though. The looks for drama. It's fine if you don't think that he's a sexy dude, but he's a good actor playing bad Ernest. Yeah. I actually think he's a talented actor. Oh, sure. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thank you. No, I'm only saying I don't think he's sexy. Did Ernest have any children? Who? Did Jim Varney? No, he'm only saying I don't think he's sexy. Did Ernest have any children? Who? Did Jim Varney? No, he was twice divorced.

Both of his marriages did not work out according to this. I wonder who's the heir to the Varney estate. Well, I know that someone in his family is trying to relaunch the Ernest franchise. In 2012, they tried to relaunch The Son of Ernest. Did they do a movie they're in they're talking about oh okay it's a tentatively title would play on a bird who would play son of her well you got it I think his nephew wrote a book about him yes he did maybe you are you is the one that wants to be the

presumption would be that earnest had sex I know oh yeah because it would be the son of a girl at that I'm not coming who is know. Oh yeah, because it would be the son of a. I'm not comfortable with that. I'm not comfortable with that either. And who is it? Is it Miss Charlotte? No, somebody later, I'm sure. All right, so obviously we had opinions about this movie, but there are some people out there that have a different opinion,

so now it is time for Second Opinions. Second Opinions, Second Opinions. They're not your first, but they're gonna be a second. These are five star reviews, cold from Amazon.com. These are people who loved Ernest so much. Now we'll be reading their reviews. Here we go. Brilliant and executed out of style by DSG.

If there's one thing I got from this movie, and I have it on DVD, is that even idiots can save the day so don't ever doubt an idiot you know because he or she might be the one that saves your life someday brilliant script funny as nails movie great actors and actresses. I was just gonna say nails are funny. Five stars. Now coming up to my favorite review here. If that's your takeaway if the takeaway is idiots might save your life, that's a bad lesson learned. No, I think it's great. This one is called Super Ernest by John R. Ryzak.

He goes, I need to laugh from time to time. Ernest is good for that. Done, five stars. Now, this is my favorite review because it actually opens up the field a little bit. Favorite Ernest, but they cut the DVD. This is by MTP. The only problem I have with the DVD is I used to have this on VHS, but sadly when it died, I bought the DVD and it was horrified to find out they cut two scenes.

The first scene I didn't mind so much. It was when Nash's girlfriend came and visited Ernest in jail, but then they cut the very final scene. Wait a conjugal visit? Yes And And they goes and they also cut the very final scene of the movie The DVD ends when Ernest falls out of the sky got burnt to a crisp and says the famous line I came I saw I got blowed up The real ending was after that because I did think the ending was a little bit of rough the famous line, I came, I saw, I got blowed up.

The real ending was after that, because I did think the ending was a little bit abrupt. I was surprised. It goes, the real ending was after that, when we see Ernest has finally got that clerk's job that he wanted, while sitting at his new desk, he's shocked by the computer and becomes magnetized again, and the filing cabinet start chasing him. It was a much better ending.

Yeah. That's a way, why would you cut these scenes? Why did they cut that, I wonder? Yeah, he needed to achieve his dream at the end. Yeah, just to say I came, I saw I got blown up. I was like, who made that decision that they didn't wanna have him achieve something? I saved the main pretty much.

Maybe they forgot to shoot it, didn't wanna rebuild the set. Like, that's crazy. Or no, no, they did shoot it. No, they did shoot it. It got cut. Got shot, yeah. Just kidding, I don't want to rebuild the set. Like, that's crazy. Or no, no, they did shoot it and it got cut. Got shot. Just kidding. And they're also a bunch of edited scenes.

It didn't make sense. There's a bunch of edited scenes on YouTube where the evil Ernest goes and has a scene with the evil bank manager and he's really cocky. But boy oh boy, would you guys recommend seeing Ernest goes to jail? I really would not. No, you know, not even for a kid.

I genuinely would say there are better, worse movies that we've done. That Ernest Goes to Jail. This was not enjoyable. Unless you want to watch it for bad Ernest. Oh, for jerking off purposes. For yank bank. You mean why I still watch episode two of True Detective?

Exactly. For the ladies, yes. Wait, did you, I just ask you is Ernest goes to camp first? Funny? I don't know. I haven't seen it since I was a kid, but I loved it when I was a kid. Yeah I loved that Ernest character, but I stopped following him in the theaters. Okay after Ernest goes to camp. I was more of a where's the beef guy? You know, I was always following her career and I mean she made some great movies yeah solid solid movie yeah where's the beef in space so good um well Leslie thank you so much for joining us well do you have anything you want to plug anything you want to talk about no no Jason yeah no not really June Backwards is on Netflix.

Oh yeah. Hulu. I saw that. Netflix and Hulu for free. I do wanna say this. They played a good game. We won. How I Met Your Mother has gone off the air.

Yes. And that was our great rivalry. Yes. H-I-M-Y-M versus- DOA. Yes, versus H-D-T-G-M. Guess who's still on the air. We are. To this day.

How did this get made? If you wanna know what's what, you can sign up for our Twitter. Yeah, at H-D-T-G-M. And guess what? We're not gonna let you down at the ending Hi-y-d Is coming out. Yes. Yes. Well, I'll be a whole new rivalry without the belt to come up and see if they're gonna

Oh, we've got your number Greta Gerwig. We're coming for you