How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Hercules LIVE! (w/ Leslye Headland & Sasheer Zamata)

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

Leslye Headland (Star Wars: The Acolyte) and Sasheer Zamata (SNL) join Paul and Jason to discuss the 1983 sci-fi fantasy film Hercules starring Lou Ferrigno. LIVE from Largo in Los Angeles, they talk about the robots, Hercules tossing a bear into space, Lou Ferrigno’s dubbed voice, and much more. (Originally Released 05/23/2019) HDTGM will be in Nantucket on June 20th! Go to hdtgm.com for ticket info, merch, and more.Order Paul’s book about his childhood, Joyful Recollections of Trauma, wherever books are soldFor extra Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerHDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerFollow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/Check out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter

Throughout time, ancient Greek mythology has served as a roadmap to understand time, creation, and good versus evil. But never has it been as exciting or as realistic than when Lou Ferrigno donned a loincloth and tossed a bear into space. We saw Hercules, so you know what that means. in the beautiful June Gonna take you from the goob all the way to the room Rander games and street fighter hope to blow off steam Just a sucker punch the odd life of Timothy Green Shock needle to birdemic how we stayin alive They call it in the badass and he's on the line Cranking 88 minutes cause they cool as ice Cause the bad Jim Barney looking kind and nice Paul and June getting literal Jason is getting

laid June is making sure all the monkey shots getting paid They judge a bunch of movies while they making the grade Here's a real question for you, how did this get made? Hello people of Earth! And hello people of Los Angeles! We are here live at Largo. Holy cow. We have a great movie on deck for you tonight.

It's a How Did This Get Made special edition. We have two special guests tonight, two guests who have never been on the show. It's going to be really, really fun. What can I tell you about this movie? There's a dude named Zeus. He gets a kid. He's going to balance good and evil, but guess what?

King Minos has another plan, all right? He's gonna try to sabotage Zeus' kid. But you know what? He didn't expect the good-natured, the strong, and slightly dumb, Hercules to get in the way. We're gonna break it down here, and all the stories that I don't know much about Greek mythology, I'm gonna say

70% of this movie is not in Greek mythology. Right off the bat. Gonna say, like, inspired by Greek mythology. Greek mythology adjacent. One of the things that you'll notice with this movie, too, is it says the incredible Lou Ferrigno, uh, because he was the incredible Hulk. Uh, so they want to remind you.

Just, oh, it's the guy from the thing. That's who he is. Because, you know, people were flocking to see a movie where Lou doesn't even use his real voice. Um, get into it all. But I can't get into this at all without bringing out my co-hosts. Please welcome Mr. Jason Manzoukas! Whoo!

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! What's up, jerks? How we doing, everybody? Jason. I don't understand what you're confused about, Paul. This is Greek mythology.

Well, I... Here's what we've got. A pantheon of gods. Yes. Robots. Yep. That was the part that I was like, don't remember that many robots in Greek mythology. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't you remember all the robots?

So Transformers were invented by the ancient Greeks? Yep. Deesh, deesh, deesh, deesh, deesh, deesh, deesh. That's what this movie is. Okay, this movie... Wow. This movie is, for me personally, the urtext of bad movies. Yes. I saw this movie in the theater.

Wow. With my family. I'm gonna be honest, probably because it was about Greek shit. Well, I was gonna say, like, do your family, your family feels like an allegiance, they have to think we gotta go. I don't know why.

We went and saw it. It is famous in my family, this movie specifically, and meaningful in my life because it is the first time we walked out of a movie. Like, this movie is, in my family, holds a special place as the movie we walked out of. My mother, upon understanding that we did this podcast, said, have you done Hercules yet?

Wow. That, I mean, I... What I guess, there's so many details I want to get into. The thing I think that confuses me the most about it is that this movie played in an actual theater. Oh yeah. Like... A million percent!

Yeah, I mean it's crazy! I purchased tickets to this movie. Like, and there is a world where you would go up to the counter and be like, one for ET, or oh actually you know what, Hercules with Lou Ferrigno. And in that imaginary scenario, I am an actual person in it. Like that actually happened to me. That is absolutely amazing. I love that you have a history with it. I did not know it.

Oh no. And rewatching it, I was like, because I texted you, I said, you sent out a text that said, hey, don't watch The Adventures of Hercules starring Lou Ferrigno, watch Hercules, whatever the distinction was. And I said, am I, as long as we're watching the one where he throws a bear into space, creating Ursa Major,

then I know I'm watching the right one. I think what I meant to reply to that text with was, well, he also throws a bear in the Adventures of Hercules 2. Does he really? Yes. Goddamn it. I have a page of notes on the Adventures of Hercules because I watched 45 minutes of it,

and I was watching it on Voodoo, and they put ads in it, and at 45 minutes, I was like, fuck these ads. I'm gonna buy it on iTunes. And I bought it on iTunes. I was like, wait a second. This is a different movie. And I was like, what did I do?

I'm already on a low tank a different movie. And I was like, what did I do? I'm already on a low tank because I've watched 45 minutes. And then to start from the beginning. Wait, you're on a low tank because you've already come during the 45 minutes before? Nonstop. Yeah. Can't stop, won't stop. I will tell you in the Adventures of Hercules, there is a static bear. He's made of static electricity,

and he fights a static bear. What I like about this movie is that it's hard, it's a romance. Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, we have two amazing guests for the podcast tonight. She is an amazing director who most recently co-created and directed the Netflix show Russian Doll. Please welcome Leslie Hedlund.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome, Leslie.

Have a seat. Hi, guys. Hedlund. Here. Present. Fan of the podcast. Really big fan of the podcast. FYI.

So excited to have you here. It's really great to be here. Dreams do come true, guys. Just keep going. And to talk about this movie, which I feel like sometimes you get in a real sweet spot. This movie, I mean, watching the trailer before we started this podcast, you remember, wow, all this happened in a brisk 90 minutes. I mean, it clocks along.

What were your first impressions of her? Really loved it. Really, just unabashedly loved it. When Paul sent me an email saying, just FYI, there's another movie called The Adventures of Hercules. Directed by the same person, starring the same person. Please make sure you don't watch that one. The one we are watching begins with Zeus on Mount Olympus

with two people, which is categorically undrew. This movie begins with the birth of the cosmos. Right, yeah. But by the way, they both start with the birth of the cosmos. Oh, okay, gotcha. I'm sorry, are you talking about the elements are night, day, matter, and air? Guys, the movie...

Excuse me? Day, matter, and air. Guys, the movie... Night. Excuse me? Day. Matter. And air. And air. Guys, what? Pandora...

Think about that. Like, water just got totally fucked. Think about those as elemental forces. Night. Day. Day. Matter. What?

And air. Like, fuck water, fuck fire. The minute they said that in the movie, I was like, fuck. It also went on for like... I wish I could walk out right now. It also went on for like five minutes, so I really was like, I may still be watching the wrong movie. Yeah. It was like the beginning of Tree of Life.

It was a Terrence Malick movie. That is what this is. Terrence Malick made this movie. That's the big surprise. He's here tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Let's this is. Terrence Malik made this movie. That's the big surprise. He's here tonight ladies and gentlemen. Let's get around the town. I was going to say that the opening felt to me like a dude who runs a local planetarium. It's like, yeah man, I run this planetarium in Maine. We don't got all the financing, but I'm putting it together. It's fun man. We do Pink Floyd shit, but we also do science shit too. It's so weird.

But is there such thing as a Pandora's Jar? No, no. Okay, that was where I was hung up. Yeah, it's a box. It's a box. And it felt like they were specifically avoiding that word. Yeah, they were like, the jar broke apart. Don't look in Pandora's Jar.

I weirdly enjoy, I have to say, I kind of enjoyed this movie. And then it seems to have been completely erased from my memory. Oh yeah. It's like as I was watching it I was like, oh this is cute. Yeah it's dumb and it's badly made. But like, you know this is fun blah blah blah. And I was like, great, you know we'll talk about, I cannot remember. The movie is the equivalent of...

It was a government experiment. Like I can't remember. It's like Invincible Inc. You see it for a second, you feel it intensely, and you're like, and then... And then it's gone. It's like a dream. It's instantly forgettable.

Honestly, what movie are we talking about? What are we talking about? Truly, I watched that trailer, and I was like, did that all happen? Yep, all of it. All of it, and we will get into all of it. We have another special guest tonight. You know her from Saturday Night Live.

You also know her from a brand new podcast that she does with Nicole Byer. Please welcome, Sasheer Zemeda. Woo! Woo hoo hoo! Welcome, Sasheer. Hello, thank you. What are your thoughts on Hercules?

Is this your first exposure to Hercules? Well, this iteration of it, yes. You've been a lot of fan of the Adventures of Hercules. Yeah, loved the Adventures. Which you've watched many, many times, but not this Hercules. Not this particular one. There are so many versions of Hercules. Like The Rock has done Hercules, Kevin Sorbo has done Hercules.

That's what I'm more acquainted with. Where do you feel like Lou Ferrigno stacks up in the Hercules that are out there? Do you think Sorbo or Ferrigno? I have to go Sorbo. Okay, interesting. Controversial. Okay, great. I mean, this movie, it's interesting. We were saying at the top of the show, they're really resting on the laurels that he is the Incredible Hulk, but he is the Incredible Hulk,

the non-speaking entity of that TV show at the time. Right. Yeah. He's just the Hulk part, who just goes, Rrrrrrr! By the way, Paul, great job. Yeah, good job, Paul. Jason, thank you. Can I ask you a question?

As we approach Avengers Endgame, do you see the writing on the wall, and you're like, they're gonna need a new Hulk? I will tell you that... I gotta get out there early in the pod, making sure people see that I'm capable of, like, giving you that Hulk vibe. Kevin Feige, I hope you're listening.

Or should I say, Ugh, Feige, listen to me. Anyway, no big deal. I gotta keep on, you know, keep the jobs alive, people. I gotta get out there. I would love it if you got cast as the Incredible Hulk off of this.

Paul, we heard your audition. We heard you on how to just get made. And you said, Fikie Smash. What I realized, I guess, in watching it was this movie was so heavily influenced by Superman or Superman is so influenced by Hercules. I don't know. Chicken or egg. Yeah.

I don't know what came first because clearly the story of Hercules. Hercules came first. Are you sure? I mean. In like, in Greek mythology, Superman didn't came, you sure? In Greek mythology, Superman wasn't before Greek mythology? So in Greek mythology, right? Krypton is about to blow up.

Right. Jor-El puts Kal-El in an egg and sends him to Earth. Ma and Pa can't find him. They name him Clark Kent. Just like in Hercules, when his adoptive parents find him. They name him Clark Kent. Just like in Hercules, when his adoptive parents find him,

and they're like, I guess we'll call him Hercules. Why does everybody know his name is Hercules? That shouldn't be possible. You know, name a kid Hercules, send him down a river. People are like, here's a baby. And then also have him be Hercules. The baby doesn't remember his name. Nor is there a sign taped to him that says,

this is Hercules. I mean, there was a lot of references where I was like, is this Prince of Egypt? And then they were literally in the Garden of Eden at one point in time. The movie really jumps around, like, there's a lot of, they're going from planet to They're on different planets at points. But also hell. They also took a rainbow to hell.

Oh, yeah, which is an odd choice for hell to be like hey, I know that we get a bad rap Let's just pop this rainbow here to us throw people off the scent. Yeah, it's fun. I found it to be very homophobic. I'm just gonna say By the way, the rainbow's the rainbow? Rainbow to hell. Yeah, you know I see it. I found it to be very homophobic. I'm just gonna say it. The rainbow's the rainbow? Rainbow to hell. Yeah. You know, I see it. I see it. I see what they're saying. I see what they're saying.

I will say that that hell sequence was one of the best sequences in the whole film. It was so slow. So slow. The whole movie is slow. They show you a real boat ride. They literally show you a man, and not only do they show you the boat ride,

they slow it down. They slow down the frames of it. How can we extend a slow boat docking? We'll put it in slow-mo. That happens throughout the movie. Throughout the movie, they switch pointlessly to slow-mo. Oftentimes, to just be like, here's a moment. It's not a moment. It's not interesting. It's not good.

And it's just, I suspect, to pad the movie. To make it longer. Yeah, like some sort of mafia guy said, like, it needs to be 90 minutes. Again, fight past me in your stuff. Marty Scorsese, Paul Scheer is available to play an Italian gangster. Hey, Marty, let me tell you something. Put me in your stuff. Italian. Marty Scorsese? Paul Scheer is available to play an Italian gangster. Hey, Marty.

Let me tell you something. Put me in your movie. We'll have a lot of fun. Calzones, pizza, pasta. It also didn't seem to be shot in 48, though. It seemed to be shot normally and then just slowed down later. Oh, a million percent. Yeah, no, it's...

This is not a well- of that. Oh, a million percent. This kind of, this kind of bit. Yeah, no it's, this is not a well-made movie. Oh, no? Although I have to say that some of the choices, like when we meet Zeus, like I'm like, I'm liking the look of Zeus. I'm liking- I'm liking the look of Zeus. I love the pose. He's wearing a store-bought beard.

And a crown- A Santa beard. And a crown of nonsense. A Santa beard. If you view the movie like those high school kids who put on the alien production, you're like, that's pretty good. Those kids did such a better job. They did, yeah.

The wigs, all of the gods' stuff is absolutely out of control. For some reason, everybody's costume, it's like the costume designer made the choice, the main choice was crotch. Yes. Like that was the choice. They were like, let's start with the crotch,

move out from there. But we'll go from crotch up to just half nipple. That's my favorite thing. Yes, the one woman who, what is her name? Sybil Danning, yeah, that's who's like the evil woman who's like chasing him. I saw the top of her areolas. Oh yeah.

You're seeing like half nipple. And her wardrobe is on the bottom of her boobs, it is boob colored. So what you're looking at appears from the picture to be she's topless, but she's in fact not topless. Well, it's the classic. I zoomed in, it's not, you don't see it.

Yeah. It's the classic Kate Beckinsale and Van Helsing look of just not quite up, but just right on the nipple. Thank you for using your own nipples as measurements. It's a visual medium, right? Everyone's going to see that, right? Okay, cool, great. Yeah, see?

Underneath is flesh-colored. Yeah, she is. I mean, and the other girl is in a paper-shredded dress, which it went through the paper shredder, but not all the way so they can still wear it as the top is together. But what I find so interesting, and I did a little research on this, or I should say Nate showed me some research on this, that Sybil Danning signed on for like an X-rated, R-rated dirty version of Hercules.

And Lou Ferrigno read that script and was like, no, no, no, we're doing it like G. And she was like, well, I still want to do like the R-rated version. And he's like, I don't. So she's playing up her R-rated version. And it makes sense. Like, oh, yeah, these costumes feel like they're from a... This feels like from the porn version. And then Lou Freckle feels like from, like, the ABC Family version.

Like, he's so... Although he never puts on a shirt, and I feel like he should have at least worn a shirt at one point. What? No way. He's, I guess, still in cold pump. That's why you're watching the movie. What?

You're just, you're watching just for that? Like, I mean, you don't want him to have a shirt on. I thought maybe he was too muscular for a normal person. What? No way. He's, I guess, stone cold hunk. That's why you're watching the movie. What? You're just, you're watching just for that? Like, I mean, you don't want him with that shirt on? I thought maybe he was too muscular for a normal person. What? No way! He's got to always be shirtless? That's a pretty tough life. That's the draw. He's Hercules! He's a stone cold hunk.

Most of this movie was reasons for him to lift or push something. Yes. Even the way when we meet him and he's a little bit older and he's like plowing the field it made no sense whatever he was doing it was like you're gonna it's gonna take forever for you to do that thing and you're just tearing up the lawn what are you doing you're dumb you're doing three stones like like like he was yoked like a like an ox like pulling three stones to dig out the the the farm or whatever. It really was like, by the way, his parents are murdered effortlessly.

Yeah, very quickly, very quickly. Like, you know what, listen, I understand Luke Skywalker's parents, they work at a moisture farm, who knows what's going on. Jason, what, Merrick's? Those are his aunt and uncle. His aunt and uncle, sorry, sorry, sorry. But like, his adopted parents, his adopted parents, Hercules' adopted parents, they've got a regular farm and they are immediately murdered.

And the clarion call for his mother's murder is just somebody being like, your mother's in danger. Your mother's in danger. She takes a spike right to the chest, like boom. Like yeah, she goes down. Is that what happened? I thought so, right? Doesn't she take a spike to the chest chest, like boom. Like yeah, she goes down. Is that what happened? I thought so, right? Didn't she take a spike to the chest?

He was like, what happened? And she moved up. No, I feel like he gets there and she's just like done. She's on the ground and she's like. Well, he moves her to the. There's a robot in the sky. And I'm like, did the robot shoot her? They didn't show that part.

And that's what I assumed, like the robot must, the robot in this movie. And then he moves her to this like outdoor bedding area that's just very convenient for her to die on. This pelt that happens to be outside. I feel like that's the actors going, if I'm gonna be dead for like six hours here, put me on something comfortable please.

I don't wanna sit on the dirty ground. How did this come in? How did this come in? Well, I mean, Zeus, we should just talk about the elephant in the room, which is, Lou Freaknows voice is not in this movie. I mean, Zeus, we should just talk about the elephant in the room, which is, Lufricna's voice is not in this movie. Much like Schwarzenegger's voice in Pressey, what's the movie called?

He was dubbed in some, but the one that we watched... Hercules in New York. Hercules in New York, right? He was dubbed in that, right? On some versions. We watched the version that was actually his voice. We did? Yeah.

Yeah. I thought he was dubbed in that. No, no. He gives it like, Herculean, Herculean. Yeah, he has a very intense accent on it. So here, it's, you know, it's Luke Ferrigno having a voice that I can only describe as like a very, like, very classical actor. Hi, I'm Hercules. Stop, I'll hurt you. Like it's like a very, it's, I don't know

if it's amazing or terrible. It's matching his performance perfectly. But I can't tell which is better. Is it bad? Is it great? I don't know. Thoughts? It's bad.

Yeah, all right. I mean... Definitely bad. I concur, it is bad. Yeah. Okay, so is that because Luke Frigdow's giving him bad, like, track to run on? Cause like, Luke Frigdow's not overreacting.

Like when his mom dies, he's like, mother, you're dead. There's a lot of cutting to him when he doesn't have lines. Right. They cut, this happens a bunch throughout the movie where they will be like, there's a scene where they are having something active happen, they cut to the gods, they cut between the gods, the gods never speak, and they cut back to earth or wherever they were previous.

And this happens to Lufrigno a, where they cut to him for a reaction. He doesn't say anything. He's just kind of like... Then they cut back to whoever was talking. And it's... it is unsettling to watch, if I'm being honest. I found him very endearing. Yeah. And I felt like the voice was calming, almost like ASMR or something, like where, you know, I didn't realize

until halfway through, well, I knew he was dubbed, but I didn't realize it wasn't, it's not his voice? Not his voice. It is not. Because Lou Ferrigno is hearing impaired, so I think that they made a very bold choice to be like, you know what, we don't want to position, we don't want Hercules to sound like Lou Ferrigno. We want him to sound like a British man.

Right, right, got it, got it. As a British man. And I didn't know he was dubbed, so I, and- Oh really? Oh, not until I started watching the movie. Even though I'd seen the movie as a child. In the theater. In the theater, bought that ticket,

don't worry about it, Reese's Pieces. But, oh, so like when it started I was like, hang on a second, that is not his voice. And I was like, oh that's too bad. Yeah, I would like to have seen the Luke Farigno cut. Talking about his body. Yeah, release the Farigno cut. Yeah, get out.

That's a hashtag, get it out there, release the Farigno cut. What are you guys scared of, you know? Yeah, what are pharygno cut. Yeah, it's out. That's a hashtag. Get it out there. Release the pharygno cut. What are you guys scared of, you know? Yeah, what are we scared of? Like, what are you afraid of? Uncut pharygno. He is uncircumcised. How do you know?

We never saw his dick. Like, literally my first note was, where is his dick? Because it was just that weird Ken doll kind of like, oh, the beginning. I screamed. I screamed. I of like, oh the beginning, I screamed, I screamed. I was like, ah! I was not, they showed him as a full adult

with no genitals and then he became a baby. But like, why not make the choice to give him a loin cloth? Like why not make that, why make the choice of finding something that looks exactly like his skin color? Keep it G, keep it G. Hercules had the question. But put him in an underwear. I mean, because I was literally looking at my screen like, is that a dick? Is it not a dick?

Now, let me ask you this. If you saw that in real life, would it be weird or would it be cool? Like, if you saw that, like, unveiled in front of you in real life, would you be like, ooh, this is hot? Or would you be like, this is weird. I don't like it, Jason. Think about it and write, Jason.

Use the hashtag weird or not weird. You can just write at me. Just tweet at me at Paul's... at Paul's Twitter. I have so many messages to convey to you via my Twitter. Dude, you're killing it on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Oh, thank you. What I love about you, you're saying, like, you know,

one of the appeals of Lou Freakna was, like, not wearing the shirt. But one of the funniest things I think happens in this movie, and I've noticed with The Rock too, strong men like that running is the funniest thing. Yeah. When he runs, I was like, there is nothing funnier on the earth than a really muscular man trying to get across.

Oh, this is when his mom dies. Yeah, so this is- Oh yeah, your mother's in trouble. This is him running. We won't even play sound, because it's like, it just, like I almost feel like people who do a lot of lifting never do cardio like that. they're like I don't know how to run like it's like you're asking them to do the most impossible task.

And here's the patio bed and action. Get down on the deathbed. You know a lot of these old houses came with just in case you were murdered on your front lawn you'd have a little deathbed area. This is a little taste of his voice. Yeah, this is where she looks up and she's like, the robot? Yeah, this is a little bit of a...

I can't believe I got killed by a robot. Killies. Mother, tell me what happened, please. Uh. LAUGHTER And she looks up to the robot that's in the sky, and that is the last time any eyeline is right on this movie. Like Hercules is looking down and to the left, and the robot is like up and to the right.

Like, no one had figured out like where that robot was going to be. No one placed it at the right place. Like there was no, like this is the beginning of CGI and shit was not working out. He is, he's a beast of a man, and yet they try to make him very agile. Like, there's a part in the movie where he jumps really high. There is no way a man of that much musculature.

He's part god, he's part god. Okay, so just jump straight up in the air, yeah. Yeah, yeah, he can jump. You know what, Greeks can jump as high as we want. Whoa. Look, there's that guy in the Milwaukee Bucks, right? I mean, he's the... Sure, sure, sure.

I don't know who you're talking about. Sports is lost on me. Ha ha ha! Hercules seems to defeat these villain robots with such ease. It doesn't seem to be like a challenge at all. Like here he just throws two logs at us like, done. The robot's done. Oh, he clobbers one with an anchor and it's like who cares?

Yeah. Do we want to talk about how he threw the bear into space? Yeah, we got to. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to talk about it forever. Yeah, it was really wonderful. I really loved it. I really was like, I hope it explodes.

And then it became a constellation, which was even better. That's how constellations are made. Hercules is MO. Like, clearly that's a person in a suit. I mean, like, I... The fur is a different color. Yeah. It's like the first cut of The Revenant, you know?

Like the first, like, just the blocking rehearsal for The Revenant was just like... This was what Leo watched to inspire him. He was like, yeah, this is what they told him was going to happen. The bear is also in the middle of the forest and everything that cut to the bear, it's like clear skies, no tree in sight. And when the dad, in the earlier, in the early part of this scene when the dad is looking for the bear, the bear appears to be like hiding behind a tree delicately. Also the dad acts like he's never been in a forest before.

He's like, Hercules, if you don't hear a response, there's not a human around you. It's not Hercules. There's probably an animal or a bear. A bear. Get out of there. You've been farming here for a long time. Is this the first time you saw a bear? Yeah. But also, Hercules just pounds this bear's head, seemingly kills it, and then his MO is toss it into fucking space. Yeah, get rid of it. Like, everything he does is like, toss it into space. Destroy the evidence. He's like a fucking polluter. Like, he's putting more trash in space

than anybody else. Like, yeah. If I had that option, I would throw every person in this room into space. I would throw people into space all the time. I would love to be able to throw people into space. This is the arrogance of Hercules. He's like, I'm just gonna throw this bear into space. This bear murdered my dad.

So it's all... So... So here it goes, yeah. The bear is launched, and when the bear is launched, it's like a teddy bear just flying through space. It really is very floppy. But by the way, so it becomes, you know, cat... It becomes... Ursa Major. so it becomes, you know, it becomes, you know, so when it becomes-

Ursa Major. When it becomes Ursa Major, then it becomes like a video screen where you just see the bear like living its best life. Like a highlight reel for the bear. Like if you- The bear's like, finally, I live in space. Are we to believe that every solar, every constellation is just...

They say that in the movie! That's what they say in the movie. They're like, are you going to continue to throw things in space to create stars? That's basically what they say in the movie. So everything is, every constellation is space garbage. So at one point, Hercules got mad at a pan and threw the pan up there and then became the pan. Oh yeah, he threw that log.

Remember when he threw the log? Yeah. And I was like, great. Where's it going? It just kept going. It didn't look out. It didn't, it never stopped. Also, can we talk about how the gods are on our moon? Yeah. They're just on the moon. What's up with that? They divided everything into different planets. Also, I think they only covered Jupiter and Saturn and Earth. Mercury. They did Mercury too. But also Earth was not created. It was just like, and then there's Earth. And also Earth was there. And also Earth was there. And then the gods were on our moon. And these are the gods. That's what the gods look like.

Yeah, we'll give you a little taste of Earth. Imagine a world in which that is your god. Honestly, it's a world that I want to live in. I mean, me too, truthfully. This is their moment of trial. They've got to show themselves worthy of their Lady Gaga video. I mean, if this was a Lady Gaga video, I'd be like, I get it.

If you were saying, oh, this is a Lady Gaga video, she is God, I'd be like, oh, okay, I guess I get it. But by the way, any of these costumes in this movie could be appropriate at a Lady Gaga concert. A million percent. Absolutely. Harry. I've given them. But evil is dark and strong. And it may be that the scales of fate

are not yet in full balance. What can I do to equalize both sides of the struggle, Athena? Can you pause, Paul? This is the movie. to equalize both sides of the struggle, Athena. Can you pause, Paul? If you don't. This is the movie. We're playing scenes from the movie. That's how slow it moves. This is the conceit of why Hercules was created, right?

And I watched it a couple times, be like, I still don't understand why they did this. They're like, there has to be a balance of good and evil so we should create one person to take care of all that. Yeah, and it seems like then they just cheat all the time. Yeah. Like, like, Hercules should be dead many times over. And then Zeus, with his fucking creeper hands,

like, ah, ah, ah, they capture that boat. Zeus is very handsy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Put that boat. Zeus is very handsy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Put that boat in my hand. Let me hold the baby. I'll put him down here in the river. Ooh la la.

By the way, before when I guess it's King Minos, when King Minos says, like at one point, it was number two, it's like, I'm giving you the sublime pleasure of killing a child. Yeah. I was like, if I was a number two, wouldn't that be the job that number two is like I'm giving you the sublime pleasure of killing a child. I was like if I was a number two wouldn't that be the job that number two would take a back I'll kill a kid because he doesn't want to kill the kid like it wouldn't be like the cool thing to do the bad guy wasn't like yeah you kill the kid I'll take I'll take the power you kill the kid it was a weird thing. I thought that was so weird too because it was like the number two, it was like a plot twist in act one. And you can't really have a plot twist in act one because you don't know what the fucking plot is.

Like, you know, so it's like, well, I'm the bad guy. You know, and you're like, but who is everybody? Like, I don't know who anyone is. You just killed two people that I didn't know. That were sleeping and not sentient. So I don't know what's happening and this isn't a surprise. To be fair, I didn't know what's happening and this isn't a surprise. To be fair, I didn't know what was happening at all in all of the movie. I went back and

rewatched one, two, three, maybe four or five. I'm not sure how many acts were in this movie, but it seemed like too many. Definitely, definitely. I kept on having like micro naps and then I'd have to rewind the movie, and every time I rewind I was like, I don't remember this. And this and I go back even a little bit further like the movie was erasing as I was watching it. I was just checking my phone periodically and I'd be like what the fuck did I just miss? Now he's like 50 feet tall and he's like splitting he's in Africa and he's splitting up the continent. Africa was nuts. Africa was... The king of Africa showed up with a white woman and... White slaves?

White slaves. That, yeah, that was a very different depiction of Africa that I've ever seen in my life. When they said the king of Africa is coming to talk to you, I was like, now what's this? Like, how does this happen? He's in the belly of like a woolly, like a skeleton of a woolly mammoth surrounded by all white guys. Like, that is it. And then I didn't understand why he was there

and why the King of Africa's like split up the continents. And then they, then the witch that he's with turns him into a giant and it starts to make like, one of the things I love about this movie is that it is like, in the past, obviously, everybody's like, you know, blah, blah, blah. Like 1980s, you mean. But all of the visuals are like laser sounds

and Pac-Man music. Yeah. Like in that scene, it is literally from like Pac-Man. It's like, walk a walk a walk a walk a walk a walk a walk. He's getting bigger and it's like, walk a walk a walk a walk a walk. walk a walk a walk. He's getting bigger and it's like, walk a walk a walk a walk a walk a walk. I was like, what the fuck is this movie? But then they had to do stuff like this.

My favorite moment is in that Africa scene where they're like, okay Hercules, step behind this rock. So he's like, got it. So they could do this weird effect and they could just cheat it. Could you hide behind this tree? Yep. Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh Then it turns to cold. And then he's like, oh, oh, it's so cold. And then they're like, you did it, it's fine. And he's like, got it, I got the talisman.

But like, it was so cheap. And I really was like, I'm old. I really had a moment where I was like, I'm so old that I saw this movie in the theaters and it looks like straight garbage. Like I have lived long enough for a movie that looks legitimately like trash. I paid full price to see.

Jason, when you saw it in the theater, did any of these graphics look good? So good! They really, they did? I mean, they must've looked good enough, but we did walk out. So they, we must've. good enough, but we did walk out. So they must have... When did you walk? Do you remember when you walked out?

I don't remember when we walked out, but there was definitely... The second half of the movie I did not see. Like everything that happened in the second half of the movie, I was like, this is new to me. So probably somewhere in the halfway mark. Yeah, it's a bizarre movie. I was gonna also wanted to talk about the idea of like, when Hercules' parents are dead, he's like, well, I guess I'll just join this.

I gotta go fight, someone wants me to go fight. He also burned his house down. Yes. Oh yeah. He just tossed it. Oh my parents are dead, I guess I'll just burn my house down and leave my town. And the guy was like, hey Hercules, you okay? He's like, no, I'm fine, I got it.

I'm fine, I'm just gonna burn everything to the ground. You know what, like sell the house. Yeah, someone else could live, you okay? He's like, no, I'm fine, I got it. I'm fine, I'm just gonna burn everything to the ground. You know what? Like, sell the house. Yeah, someone else could live there. Like someone else could live there. Get on Selexa, man. You're depressed, okay? You need a little, you need some talk therapy, man.

Just don't burn down your family home. He cleans the stables with a flood. Oh. Oh my God. Which made no sense, geography-wise. Okay. He threw a boulder down to the river, and then he was up on a cliff, and the water went up somehow? But it's like...

Also, how many horses must have died? How many? Everybody must have died, because where does it end? That, like, he... But first of all, that barn didn't look that big. It could have done it in a night. It's the king's stables. And it was like, it was maybe 10 horses could have been stables.

Like it was, that's embarrassing. And they didn't say, they didn't say like, make it crystal clean. It just felt like, clean the horses. But also when that got brought up, everyone was like, oh, that's impossible. Yeah, very small stable. Bitch, he threw a bear into space.'s gonna be fine you know like but also

She's like oh no you nobody can see me. No nobody can do that. Oh my god can we talk about the veil? Let's talk about the veil. Hedlund get into the veil. Let's talk about the veil because the veil was um oppressive to her it also didn't serve any actual purpose because you it was completely see-through and it was so close to her face that every time she breathed it would be like you know like and I was concerned for her truly I was concerned and she was like I can't take this off because I'm so beautiful and I was like yeah we can see you. And you look great.

And you look great. That also seemed like hardly a fair trade. He's like, if I clean this table, which no one thinks I can do, you got to show me your face. After she explained, the person who sees my face, I have to marry. So he's basically being like,

you got to marry me if I clean the poop out of here. Yeah. Exactly. That's exactly what he's saying. He's basically like, if I cause a flood, get rid of all these turds, I get to see your face and that's true love. Then you're mine forever. And she's like, okay. That sounds good.

But by the way, when she took it off, she's instantly in love with this man and they've had no real conversation. The only thing that she saw was that he went to go play at the Majesty's games Which seems like no one showed up to no one was there Like it just seems like for the four people and they keep on like testing them I don't understand why they like test them again like are sure I mean clearly is the strongest then they keep on saying out weaker and weaker people. It's like set up the wrestlers

That was the weakest out the wrestlers. That was the weakest group of wrestlers. They were like out of shape, tiny. Yeah, they had to like, he took a blog. He fought them all with one log. Which he threw his fist in. Isn't that where you watched Blades not affect his legs? And they're like, send out the wrestlers.

He fought horses. He ripped apart a chariot. He jumped up into the air. He threw a bear into space. But I'm saying at least in front of the majesty. And then they're like send out like four overweight dudes who like to wrestle. It's almost like the wrestling team from high school like 20 years later. It's like a high school reunion.

It's basically like send out the Von Erich brothers. Right? All the Von Erich brothers? What? Weren't those like wrestling brothers? There was like four of them? Guys? I think I might have gotten too old for the podcast. Is it, is it, is it possible to fall instantly in love like the two of them? What do you think connected those two, Cassiopeia?

Well, I think Cassiopeia was like, the dick. Like she was like, ooh, I've never seen someone so strong before. He jumps real high? Yes! He's just like, the pretty woman.

Like they're both idiots. There's nothing, they didn't have a conversation. They didn't connect on anything. Never is. It's beautiful people falling in love. It didn't connect on anything. Never. It's beautiful people falling in love. It's just a bunch of dummies. But then the end of the movie is so weird because it's all about getting Cassiopeia back and it gets Cassiopeia and he's like, are you the witch or are you Cassiopeia?

And she was like, you'll never fucking know bitch. Let's do this. That's hot. Such a non-answer. It's such a weird way to end the movie. She was like, I'm her, and I'm all of them, and I'm also me. But it also kind of fell into the whole stuff that

happened at the beginning, where it was like, you know, the fireballs of chaos that are also matter, but also the good and bad of the universe, which has been broken into arrows pointing toward people. Like, you know, know you're like wait what She said the same thing she was like it's me, but I'm also no one and I'm everybody and he was like I am every woman Let's do it. I would have liked to be like Whitney Houston But dubbed over Whitney Houston

Like I like it is like I am I am I am them, I am you. And then it became Luke Frigno and he just kissed himself. I think that would have been a great ending. Oh man, that would have been amazing. It was a journey about self-love. The whole time. Hercules, you must love yourself before you can defeat any evil. I felt really bad for that witch who stayed with him for so long of that journey. Yeah, she really put up with a lot. Yeah.

It felt like the setup was she was gonna send him on a quest to do all of these things, right? Which makes sense. I did not anticipate that she would accompany him. She kept saying, I can't go there, and then she would go there. She would go with him for all of it, and she'd be like, look out, do that, what are you doing?

Like it was weird. There was a weird thing when he goes to that island that after he swims for seven days and seven nights he gets to the island and then she's like, we're trapped here. He's like, we're trapped. But it's like, dude, you just swam for seven days and seven nights.

You're never trapped. Like if you could swim for seven days and seven nights you'll find another fucking island. He's so upset, like, why does he forget your powers now? Also, I was confused about her powers, because he was like, put this rope around the rock, and she's like, do-do-do-do-do-do,

and then the graphics were like, this is where the budget is. It was that slow rope crawling around the room. So slow. So slow. And then he threw it into space and I was like, can't you put magic on the chariot and fly yourself to wherever you're going? We have to use his brute strength to throw this rock. And basically what we're saying is he threw the rock so hard and long that it will just take the... They took the chariot on a ride and they landed in the right spot. He was like, we landed at the right place.

We did it, we did it, we nailed it. Oh, and she, and then when they landed, he's like, oh, what the hell? What happened to your magic? She's like, I fell in love, Dan. What, you fell in love? I fell in love, I'm powerless now. And then he's like, oh, nevermind that, there's the island.

Forget what you just said, there's the island. Like, way to avoid. She just admitted she's in love with you. He's like, yeah, but I gotta go and save this girl. I don't know. I felt nothing sexual from Hercules at all. At all. Which is an odd thing. I would almost even venture to say

that in cinematic terms, in this movie, Hercules is a woman. Like, meaning he has no agency. cinematic terms in this movie Hercules is a woman. Meaning he has no agency. He's only wanted for his body and for what he can give other people. They tell him what to do and he's like, sure, okay, great. And then no one's attracted. Like, oh no, except for that woman at the end

who's like, you're mine now and now we're having children together, and you will sire my breed of warriors. Like literally, those are his only contributions to the society of astral gods, or whatever that we're looking at. And he apparently, and he is put on earth to bring balance to good and evil.

He doesn't seem to ever have a desire to do it. He's like, I just want to get that lady. Just want to get balance. Yeah, well no one explains that to him. No one's like, oh, by the way, the gods created you. You're here for a purpose. Did he bring balance? Is Atlantis full of evil people?

Is it good that he destroyed Atlantis? I mean, and there's even a part where he's like, I wonder why I'm so strong. Goes on with his life, you know, like, it's just like, oh wow, no one's gonna explain anything to you. Which is usually like the female romantic lead is kind of usually that person that's like, I like this idea.

You know, like a damsel in distress almost. And like, yeah, he fights a bunch of stuff, but he doesn't actually do anything that's his idea. The only thing he has agency over is like, yeah, he fights a bunch of stuff, but he doesn't actually do anything that's his idea. The only thing he has agency over is, like, he just does these selfish acts of destruction. He's like, bear throwin' into space. Uh, log throwin' into space. He just throws you...

The only thing he seemingly enjoys is throwing shit into space and maybe killing animals. We see him kill animals twice. He's very good at it. That's anger problems. And I would too animals twice. He's very good at it. That's anger problems. And I would too if no one told me what was going on. If I was- If it was a pawn in a game.

If nobody told me I was half God and that I had the strength of Zeus and I was just out in the world, yeah, I'd be pissed off. I wouldn't- Well, no one told him that. I don't think so. He doesn't seem to enjoy fighting

nor does he seem scared by fighting. It's just sort of like, yeah. I think that's also why he came off so not sexy, because I was like, he's a child. He has a child brain. He's an infant just running around. Yeah, he never flexes in any way. It's like, horses, okay, okay, sure, yeah, what, what, what? It seems like a person who's worked a 12-hour work day, like, can you just do six more hours? Steve Caldons sick, he'll be working.

I gotta replace it. Yeah, I gotta. Yeah, he like just dropped the kids off at school and like the dishwasher's full. Like, you know what I mean? Like, he's just like, yeah, OK, cool. Yeah, stables now? OK, great. Let's just go. They make so little effort to show you what's going on. They just keep cutting to them, just not reacting. They just are static. Well, this is the most powerful moment. He's finally reunited with his love. I know we

talked about it a little bit. This is the acting here. Let's see. Kiss me Hercules. Wait, are you really Cassiopeia or Ariana in a new form or Circe reborn? I'm all of them and none of them. I'm the one who truly loves you. So hot. It's so awkward. And they're standing so far from each other.

They really are. It's because they're completely naked. Like they're really trying not to touch each other. I mean, it's... I can't imagine a less romantic shot, actually, than... And then they outline that in, like, neon lights. Yeah. And by the way, that's the most romantic...

Look at... What? Look at those jeans! Are we meant to believe that that has also become a constellation? Yeah. And are they staying like that forever in, like, the... In the stars. in the stars? This is awkward, like hug, like this head to head hug.

It's like, not that it feels like two people who didn't want their bodies to touch, but like their heads are like, we're touching. It's like, hey, who are you? All right. How did this get me? How did this get me? What are people thinking out here?

And I want you to ask your question in the best dub voice you can muster, okay? Yeah. So, you know, like, hi, my name is Darren and my question is, so something like that. So who has a question? All right, somebody back here. Okay, let's go back here. Your name, your question, here we go. My name's George.

I read that the budget for this was six million, is about I want to kill myself okay which is 15 million in today's money if you were given that budget to remake this what would you do differently by the way let's just put a word one more caveat on it it's also in Italy so 15 in Italy is probably like 30 yeah Yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah. First things first, I cast Lou Ferrigno. Yeah. Yeah. Straight away. And use his voice. The guy gets it.

But use his voice, exactly. Yes. Yep. That's the big takeaway. And initially that's why I thought the dubbing was happening because it was shot in Italy. And so a lot of times those are dubbed because basically the crew doesn't want to be quiet. Oh wow.

Like that's actually, somebody, I'm gonna name name drop but I did a pilot with Alfred Molina who worked on Ladyhawk and he was talking about how... One of my all time favorite movies. All time faves, all time faves. Roger Hauer, Matthew Broderick, Michelle Pfeiffer. Who's on Instagram now. Fred Molina, Leo McCurd. We can just keep going.

But anyway, so point being that he said that the crew, he said that he was going to be the director of the movie. He said that he was going to be the director of the movie. He said that he was going to be the director of the movie. He said that he was going to be the director of the movie. He said that he was going to be the director of the movie. He said that he was going to be the director of the movie. He said that he was going to be the director of the movie. He said that he was going to be the director of the movie. He like fell in love. Fred Molina. Leo McCurd. We can just keep going. But anyway, so point being that he said that the crew

would just torture Richard Donner by not being quiet. Oh no. So he would go like, of course you have to imagine that I'm Fred Molina and not me, a bad actor. But like. I think of you like that all the time. Really?

I'm like, Leslie Hedlund. Has a real Melina vibe. You're like an Alfred Melina. You're like a real Doc Ock. Yeah, yeah, totally. But he would be like, so Richard Donner would be like, Celestial, Celestial.

Like you know what I mean? And of course the Italians are like, we just talk through everything. Like they just dub it later. So they're like clinking stuff around. Like all through the entire shoot and like just driving him insane, insane. Well, most Italian crews are made up of Mario Brothers.

So they're out there racing around on little carts. Yippee! Yoshi's up to nonsense. Boop boop boop boop boop boop bo nonsense. Throwing their turtle shells. Hello, my name is Yon Carl. Do you think they kind of shoehorned this into like a Christian story? Because one, Zeus, unlike in the original myth, is created without sex. Two, as you pointed out, the homophobic rainbow to hell. And three, the bad guy kinda is science. Yeah. There was a lot of like weird... Yeah, yeah. The King Minos character does like, like yes, as we saw in the whatever

it was the trailer or whatever, like he does like denounce, as we saw in the, whatever, it was the trailer or whatever, he does denounce the gods and favor science, but he's also like, but listen, if I can do the gods a favor, I'll do the gods a favor. And also, yeah, when they put the baby in the raft and stuff, that's all Moses. Yeah. Yeah. There were a bunch of like, we're just gonna try to slip in.

And the literal Garden of Eden was there. Yeah. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels to me like someone heard a Greek myth and then like it was a couple years ago and they were kind of drunk at a party and then they're like, yeah, yeah, no, and then they eat the apple and then the Pangea splits and then they eat the apple, and then the Pangea splits, and then... And the Pangea.

Then the King of Africa's there, and also Hercules, and also lasers. Oh, and you know, Superman. And also robot bugs. It was weird, because everything was like myth adjacent, where it was like you could do this research. Why didn't, why, is there like copyright on like Pandora's box? Like why can't you just say the thing? Yeah, Pandora's box is a phrase like you don't need the jar. The jar of Pandora that spreads out all over the, I don't know, even know what it spread out.

Like the jar is part of the world. Oh boy. And the jar was before planets existed. Yeah. First there was a jar. Is that? Who made the jar? Is that what we're to believe?

First there was a jar. First there was a jar. And on the second day, God said there will be a jar? Then there was night. Jupiter and cashews and Reebok sneakers and commercials. Commercials. Oh, there was also a voiceover at the end of the movie

and I was like, what? Do you remember this? It was like tours when the princesses were being walked down the hallway to get sacrificed. There was a voiceover as if it was the end of a TV show where it's like, what will happen next? The princess is not looking so good right now. And I was like, wait, we can't just do that.

You didn't establish that before. These Duke boys are in trouble. Tune in next. It's like, oh, guys, it's a movie. It's Wailing Jennings. Yeah. Looks like Bo and Luke are in trouble now. It'd be great if they were like, uh, guys, it's a movie. It's wailing Jennings. Yeah. Looks like Bo and Luke are in trouble now. It'd be great if they were like, uh, oh, it's a movie?

Oh, just leave it at it. There's no commercials. Obviously, we had an opinion about this, but there are other people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second opinion. Have an opinion, what do you say? Put it on Amazon right away. We think it sucks, but you think it's great. Second opinion's coming do you say? Put it on Amazon right away. We think it sucks, but you think it's great. Second opinions, come in your way.

There's a June bird on my shoulder. Is the truth for real? Someone thought this had appeal. Second opinions, they're here to stay. Second opinions, read one today. Yeah! Amazing! Wait, stay! Amazing! Amazing! And you know what, sir? That song might not have been a freestyle, but you definitely deserve a Coke freestyle.

Hat and glass. Again, the show is not sponsored by the Soda Machine, but the Soda Machine does respond to you on Twitter and you can interact with a literal Soda Machine. Not the company, it's not like Coke or Sprite, it's the machine, it's the sentient machine that tweets and it's kind of a fun, it's a fun Twitter account. These are five star reviews, cold from Amazon. The movie has 79 reviews total, pretty low. 51% are five star reviews. For the first time ever,

I've actually pulled some, I've actually pulled some, I've actually pulled some visual reference here because we're gonna need it in a second. I'm gonna read you this. This is from Just Another Shmo, writes this. If you're even looking at this, you don't know why you're here. He throws a bear into space.

He blasts a three-headed robot dog. And he single-handedly sinks the city of Atlantis in the space of 90 minutes. Oh, and it was made by the same people who gifted us with Star Crash. Nothing more need to be said. Five stars. Should we be watching Star Crash?

I immediately wrote that down. Um... Jim Moultrie writes, Big Lou, what else is there to say? The review goes, this movie is pretty stupid, but to get to see Big Lou at his best is alone worth watching It's a good motivation at the gym

five stars This is somebody's watching this And also like loves calling him Big Lou Big Lou two times in there and then it sticks Big Lou. Big Lou two times in there. He's hoping it sticks. Everyone's gonna call him Big Lou. Big Lou.

Big Lou, this one's written by Jerry. Bought it from my boyfriend. He loves it. Five stars. This one's long, but I have to read it because it's so great, parts of it. JB Hoyos writes, and the title of the review is From Hulk to Hercules, Lou Ferrigno's physique is incredible.

Winner of the coveted title of Mr. Olympia, and hailed as one of the greatest bodybuilders who ever lived, it seems only natural that Lou Ferrigno would be given the role of Hercules, the epitome of masculinity. He possessed one of the world's the epitome of masculinity. He possessed one of the world's most perfectly developed male physiques. Described as godlike, it had the ruggedness of Reg Parks and the aesthetics of Steve Reeves.

Each film starred an attractive cast, voluptuous bad girl, Sybil Danning, played an evil princess in Hercules, and had an energy-infused Star Wars-like score from renowned musical composer Pino DiNagio. Furthermore, the sets and costumes are beautiful. These Hercules films are rife with adventure, fantasy, and romance and are suitable for Pharygno fans of all ages. They are excellent vehicles for showcasing his super masculine physique to the utmost

possible while maintaining modesty. They are on par with films made during the sword and sandal age that prospered during the late 50s to the mid 60s. Fans of the Incredible Hulk series will want to watch this double feature that's this in The Adventures of Hercules to discover as I did how well Lou Ferrigno cleaned up after having all that defacing green makeup removed. Can I ask you, is this review from Lou Farigna Is it possible he's reading this get ready for this?

Feel like I'm at all this Four five six One two three four five so that's that's 30 shots there, so about 60 stills from the movie in his Amazon review. I didn't know you could put pictures in your review. Yeah, there it is. All just pictures of his muscular, muscular body just in it, like getting into it.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, that wasn't in the movie. Which part? Grabbing lightning? Oh, just him splayed out like that. Yeah, oh, that wasn't in the movie. Which part? Grabbing lightning? Oh, just him splayed out like that. Yeah, oh, grabbing lightning is from the second movie. I can tell you because I saw that part. I will say his body is next level crazy. Like he is very built.

Like this is, I mean this must be the height. I mean he should have won Mr. Universe. Yeah, this must be the height of his bodybuilding career. You know, it's crazy. But you know what it is, is Schwarzenegger had the personality. Is that it? Is there a personality competition within the...

Do they have to answer questions like the women do? Have you guys ever seen Pumping Iron? No. It's amazing. Have you never seen the stand-up section of all those Mr. Universe contests? They flex and then they do like a tight five. Do they have a talent section? Why?

They don't need to have talent. It's an amazing documentary, but basically like Schwarzenegger gets in Lou Freakna's head and just fucks him up. Like, Lou Freakna should have won and Schwarzenegger just in Lou Freakno's head and just fucks him up. Like, Lou Freakno should have won. And Schwarzenegger just like needles him the right way and he falls apart. Just falls apart.

What do you mean by falls apart? Well, yeah. Aren't you just flexing? Yeah, but I think- What do you have to do? Did he trip on stage? So, I think there's a way that you need to get yoked. Exactly right, but also like-

What? Yoked? Well, Paul, you know this because you're a bodybuilder. I'm sorry. Who? What is... Pose off! Oh! I like that all of your poses are like old timey poses. How did...

Wait, why? I don't know, why I ought to... If you watch it, I don't remember exactly like... He just didn't have a good pose off, God knows how. But I guess his body was really well built, but Schwarzenegger just fucking psychs him out. It's great. So, but still trying to wrap my head around psyching somebody out over standing.

Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I guess. He's basically like, I'm gonna go out there and try to fucking stand, man. That's what you're saying? Like he's basically like, are you gonna go out there and try to fucking stand man? Like that's what you're gonna try to do? You're gonna try to be a human? You're gonna try to like experience gravity in real time? Can anyone explain it better than I? Can anyone explain it better?

Any bodybuilders in the house? All right yeah, come here, what are you gonna say? He's fucking with him at the gym leading up to the competition. Oh. Weeks and weeks and weeks of shorts-maker giving him shit. Wow. If he's not better than you, you'll never...

But, yeah, so he's getting his head, but how does that... All right, so basically what he's saying is, yes, he's getting his head over the course of weeks, but how does that affect him standing on stage? Exactly. Exactly. When you have a competition, you really need to be in the zone to be at your best. Oh, the zone? Um, it's- it's- Exactly. Exactly. Do you have a competition you really need to be in the zone to be at your best? Oh, the zone? For standing?

So what he's adding is the zone. I didn't say the word the zone. So yeah. I get it now. I get it now. Totally. All I have to hear was the zone. Where the little one clear was he wasn't in the zone. He wasn't in the zone. As someone who's like always in the zone. Oh yeah, tell us about it Jason. Like, oh my god. He wasn't in the zone, yeah. As someone who's like always in the zone.

Oh yeah, tell us about it, Jason. Oh my God, like here's the thing. Yeah, what's the zone like? Like my muscles are exploding. I'm in the zone. No, I mean, like I guess it is anything's a competition. Like no matter, even if it's just standing, it's a competition.

So you are at some, in some ways, Schwarzenegger is psychologically besting him, you know? And it is true that watching this or early Schwarzenegger, that he just doesn't have the same Chris-ish. zonish-ness. Well look, they both are in movies about Hercules. I mean, Schwarzenegger's in Hercules in New York,

and Hercules gets sent to New York as punishment. And this is Hercules. And Conan was this same year or around? I think Hercules was way earlier. This is kind of cresting on his popularity as the Incredible Hulk, so I think this is in the 80s. Right, and then Conan the Barbarian was when? Oh, sorry, Conan, I'm sorry.

Did you think Conan O'Brien is what we were talking about? When does Conan O'Brien's talk show start? I had a. Did you think Conan O'Brien is what we were talking about? When does Conan O'Brien's talk show start? I had a really quick question about Conan O'Brien that I just wanted to bring up now. You guys know him, right? I thought you meant the original Herculean. Sorry, I misheard it. I'll tell you what this movie did do. This movie came out in 1983.

The taglines were the strongest man on Earth. But I mean, is he the strongest man on Earth? No, I mean, he's the strongest man on Thera. I mean, he's the strongest man in the universe, I'd argue. I guess. And then the other one was, the world needed a hero, it got a legend. The budget was 2.5 million, although Wikipedia says variety said it was 6 million.

Opening weekend was 3.7 million, and it grossed $10.6 million. Wow. I like... Huge hit. My four-person family contributed to that. Now, think of it like this. This movie comes out in 1983,

which means it's up against movies like Return of the Jedi, Terms of Endearment, and Flashdance. It came in 66 out of all the movies made that year. It was beaten by the two films that we've done in this podcast, Staying Alive and Superman 3, and the movie beat nothing, or yeah, that was it. So it didn't beat anything we've done in the show.

But that's pretty impressive. Very. For a movie that looks this bad. Yeah. It looks terrible. Yeah. But to think of the Return of the Jedi was in the theater. If you were to watch both of these back to back,

you'd be like, well, Return of the Jedi was made at least two decades later, right? I mean. That's the thing, the quality of the effects is like startling. Yeah. People just like Big Lou. Ah.

It must be though, really. The real special effect is his stone cold body. Jason, would you recommend people watching Hercules? You know, I walked out of it as a child. I wished I could have walked out of it today while watching it. No, I would say this is not necessarily as fun as I would have liked it to be. It was, maybe I would watch it in a fast-forwarding manner. Like, there's good scenes, there's good, like, nonsense wardrobe choices, there's a bunch

of craziness, but it's not satisfying as a movie, I would say. Okay, I take it. Leslie? I would say that under certain circumstances, it would be a fun movie to watch. How dare you? I mean. How dare you?

If those circumstances were I was on acid, because I did keep thinking like like, this would be amazing. And I hate to use that as an excuse. But truly, it is visually, like, if you're not looking at, like, the strings holding things and, like, the weird Pac-Man sounds. Like, if you're really just thinking about, man, the cosmos, right? You know, like, and, like, people, you know? And how, like, God and science, like, it's like if you're-

Just take acid and watch Cosmos then. No, but there's something kind of endearing about it. Like it's kind of sweet and like, I don't know, he's kind of sweet and like, I don't know. I mean, I don't think I'd recommend it to anyone I know. God. You know? But you're happy to let strangers watch it on-

If I ran into someone that... Yeah. If I was on like public transportation or something and somebody was like, what are you watching? I'd be like Hercules. 1982. 83. 83.

85 is a sequel, by the way. And that's where... This got a sequel? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The Adventures of Hercules is the one I told you that... Oh, that's what... Oh.

Yeah. Yeah, I was still confused. I was like, I thought there was a mix-up. I thought this that... Oh, that's what... Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I was still confused. I was like, I thought there was a mix-up. I thought this was like someone... No, it's the same thing. It's the... Everything is the same, and from what I could tell, it's a lot of reused footage from the first movie.

Yeah, I thought that was like... Because I looked... Because I got confused as well, and looked... And both of them do start with the Cosmos, so I was like, I don't know which one I'm... I don't know which one's wrong. They're so bizarre, yeah. But I so I was like, I don't know which one's wrong. They're so bizarre, yeah.

But I thought that was like a fan-made thing. It is not. Like someone like has spliced up different. Shockingly, it is not. Yeah, and it like spliced up parts of this movie. It's very weird. Would you recommend watching this movie? I actually thought the same thing.

When it started, I was like, oh, if I was on acid, this would be crazy. But then I think that- Too many people are wondering if they're wishing they were on acid to watch this movie. Well then I was, as it pretty, as soon as he killed the bear I was like no. Like that would, it's too violent too soon.

I would be freaked out. And there was so many things going on. I was like I think I'd be terrified if I actually was on drugs right now. So I think it'd be good in the background at a party or something. Oh, good call. I was gonna say, like an Indian restaurant,

if you put this on the wall of an Indian restaurant, like while you're eating lunch or dinner, it'd be like, yeah, this is great, so fun. That's a good call. Yeah, well, it's a weird thing. Yeah, they look so crazy. That'd be fun. But not to sit down and watch it, no. You know, I think I enjoyed watching it,

but to me, when I watch a movie, you know, I'm coming out from the gym perspective. I'm gonna go and like, what can I do to get my body ripped like Big Lou? So, you know, and I'm looking, I'm like, well, maybe I could do this garden thing, you know? Tie some rocks to a plow. You know, as I'm getting ideas,

like this is like a, I call this like movie, like a gardening movie, cause it plants ideas in my head. Plants a seed. That they grow, yeah. Plants a seed. Yeah, this is like one of the, so this is a classic sheer garden movie. You know, I'm gonna be looking at a bunch of different shit.

Like today when I left to do the podcast, I fucking just threw a lit cloth in my house. I was like fucking him out. And you know. I get it. Listen, I watched this movie. I bought a palette of baby oil on Amazon. I was like, here's what I'm gonna do.

Every day before I leave the house, grease up this bod. I want people wherever I am, whatever coffee shop I'm in, to know I'm jacked and I'm ready to go. I'm glistening. I'm wearing a loin cloth. And I took away, I'm in to know I'm jacked and I'm ready to go. I'm glistening. I'm wearing a loin cloth. I'm just going to start dressing from the boobs down.

Ha ha ha. Start halfway up the areola. Just get to your crotch here. Yeah. Boobs to crotch is the only way. By the way, just off the, just I don't know how I feel about it. Beard or no beard? Was it good that he had a beard

Yes, yeah. Oh, yeah, I like that. I think so always better. Yeah Did it remind anyone else of Barbarella like I just kept thinking I mean, I guess it's not weird enough to be Barb Barbarella like similar things that there's something about like the sets there. I don't know it has like a very I guess That's what I mean by endearing like yeah, it was kind of like, it wasn't, it was terrible. Right. But it was just kind of like, in that cute way. Made with the best intentions. Yeah. Was it? Like they tried.

Was it? They gave it a good try. We don't know that. We don't know it's made with the best intentions. We don't know. These people might've been like, we're making this in order to murder people. By the way, it is the candy group. Everyone in Atlantis actually died.

Yes. I keep forgetting that. That there was just full blown genocide. It was a bummer. He takes that sword out and he's like, I'll kill everybody just to get this girl and the girl he gets, he doesn't even know who she is. And she doesn't even know who she is. She doesn't know who she is. She she doesn't even know who she is. She doesn't know who she is.

She's basically like, I'm everybody or nobody. Let's get oddly close enough but not too intimate with each other because I'm married and my wife's off camera. That's what it felt like. All right, let's talk about what you guys have. You guys are fantastically amazing.

Leslie, what do you have that you want to plug, that you want to talk about? I have nothing to plug. Watch Russian Doll on Netflix if you know so And it has been picked up for more right or I don't know yeah, has it been I don't know I I'm truly not paying attention all right great Yeah, Leslie directed a wonderful movie that I'm in called sleeping with other people. Oh, yes, which is on Netflix Yeah, and you can watch that, yeah.

Leslie also directed two episodes of Black Monday, which really... Two episodes of Black Monday. So watch Black Monday. Actually, that's true. And I directed June in Bachelorette, which is my first movie, which I think is still on Netflix as well.

So if you want to see all three of them... So, Sheri, would you like to direct us in anything? I would love to. Okay. What do you... Now, you have a brand new podcast coming out right now. Yes, with Nicole Byer, who has been on the show before. Oh, yeah.

And it's called Best Friends, because we are best friends, and we talk about friendship. And you can call our voicemail line. You can't call us directly because we're not giving out our number. But you can call or write and ask friendship advice and we give it to the best of our ability. And I think Jason and I are gonna be on it, right? Yes, we are. It's gonna be very exciting. That will be really, really fun. Well, this is great. Thank you to Nate Kiley, thank you to April Halley, who pulled our clips and does all of our great stuff. And thank you all for coming out tonight. Thank you everybody!