How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf LIVE!

Episode Date: October 10, 2022

Tig Notaro (Star Trek: Discovery) and Stephanie Allynne (The L Word: Generation Q) join Paul and Jason to discuss the 1985 horror sequel Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf. Recorded LIVE from the Lincoln Theatre in Washington D.C., they talk about Christopher Lee hunting Nazis, repurposed monkey costumes, awful werewolf orgies, and much more insanity. (Originally released 01/19/2018)For more Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/c/PaulScheerFollow Paul on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/paulscheer/HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: https://discord.gg/paulscheerCheck out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (https://www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: listen.earwolf.com/deepdiveSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to Find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is Not on Twitter

Hey everybody, the engineer who recorded our show in DC forgot to record my intro line to the show. Now, since I totally tuned this movie, which means I don't remember a goddamn thing about it, I imagine my intro line was something like this. It's about siblings, it's about the supernatural, it's about your reaction when someone tells you your sister is a werewolf. That's right, we saw howling to your sister's a werewolf, so you know what that means. Just a sucker punch the odd life of Timothy Green. Shock needle to birdemic how we stay in the lock. They call it in the badass and he's on the line.

Cranking eighty-eight minutes cause they cool his eyes. Cause the bad Jim Barney looking kind and nice. Paul and June getting literal, Jason is getting laid. June is making sure all the monkey shots getting paid. They judge a bunch of movies while they're making the grade. Here's a real question for you, how did this get made? Hello people of earth and hello people of Washington DC. We are so excited to be here in the Lincoln Theater.

I'm going to say it's our home in DC. I think this is our home here. We have so much to talk about tonight. The howling to, if you've not seen howling one, don't worry, neither did the director. Joining me tonight to talk about this is my co-host. Please welcome Jason Manzukas. No, we're supposed to, we're supposed to get him out of the way. Oh, okay.

Babies, that's a good one. Screw you, baby. What's up jerks? Welcome, welcome Jason. How are you guys? What's happening? Wow, wow, not enough people making noise. How are you guys doing?

All right, all right. Guys, I'm not going to lie, great looking crowd. This is better than any Kennedy Center honor crowd I've ever seen. Much better. Yeah, go ahead. The year is 1986. It is right now. Right now, were you at the theater to see the howling two?

I did not. I've never seen this movie. And spoiler alert, I have never seen howling one that I am assuming is just called the howling. Howling one. Can you imagine the brazenness of naming something, something one? To be like, I'm naming this the howling one. Well, that kind of presumes there will be more than one. I feel like the howling one was very good.

It was directed by Joe Dante. Oh yeah. Gremlin. Yes. Joe Dante who was... How many gremlins in the audience tonight? You can tell by their colorful outfits. Yeah, gremlins in the balcony.

But remember, for all you gremlins in the audience, you cannot eat past midnight. And we can't get, and guys, guys, don't get wet. You gremlin, everybody else get as wet as you want. But you're saying it in a way that makes it dirty. But if you get wet, don't get it on the gremlins. No. You're saying it in a very dirty way. They mean physically don't get wet with water.

Yeah, but also don't get wet. No. Gremlins can come all they want. It does not transfer. Mobwives do not become gremlins if they come. That is a misnomer. Be honest. It's Halloween soon.

Who's dressing up as a horny gremlin? Really? Lady? Calm down. Well, Jason, uh, howling to... Whoo! Literally, this show has just started, ma'am. You will have passed by the end of the night.

She screamed herself to death. They didn't even get the second opinions that she was dead. I guess we should bury her dressed as a horny gremlin. Yes, we should bury her dressed as a horny gremlin. It was the last thing she cheered. So, Jason. Yes, Paul. The howling to Christopher Lee, uh, Civil Danning.

Movie, partially, uh, keep going, go ahead, yeah, go ahead. No, I was gonna say, like, I... Were you familiar with Civil Danning? Is that like a person that you... No. No, neither did I. No, I knew nothing about any... Besides Christopher Lee, Saruman, for those in the Lord of the Rings, um,

I did not know anybody in this movie, um, shockingly, um, except for the man that looked like young Jimmy Smiths. Right? Love. Right? I love young Jimmy Smiths. People seem into that. People seem into that.

She gets it. I love young Jimmy Smiths, and I also loved not Jamie Lee Curtis. Yup, I get it. Those are some... I get it. Um, well, we have a lot to talk about tonight, a lot to go over. Oh, yeah. Tonight is a how did this get made, uh, all-star show

in the sense that we are bringing you on that one, but two guests tonight. And let me introduce you to our first guest. Now, our first guest, you could see her on the Amazon show, One Mississippi. She performs at the UCB and Largo Theater with Wild Horses. Please welcome Stephanie Allen. Welcome. Do you have a mic?

We'll get you. Welcome, welcome. Forgot your mic, Steph. You forgot your mic. Whatever you do, don't tell the listeners what this is about, because that's just for us. Stephanie, you watch this movie, not here tonight, right? You watch it.

I see it, previously. I watched mine on an airplane. It was very uncomfortable for everyone involved. Really? A spoiler alert, there's a lot of boobs in this movie. Which I found out mid-flight. I covered it up with a cocktail napkin at certain points, because I didn't want to seem like a real pervo.

I really felt like, and this movie, even when they're not naked, it looks like, what are you watching? Excuse me, ma'am, there's boobs on my screen. Can I get a cocktail napkin? It's not good for the iPad, this movie. What was your first reaction to this? I mean, obviously, I don't know if you've ever heard of it. I've never heard of the movie.

I have never heard of it, or the series. Yeah, there's a lot of these howling movies. Is it really? Yes, it's based on a book. And there's multiple chapters to the book. Can I ask a question? And this is a little bit of ignorance on my part. Is it based on the tale of two cities?

I mean, isn't everything? Los Angeles, in this case, Los Angeles and Transylvania. The village in Transylvania. This whole movie is not shot in any of these places, right? This movie could have been shot in someone's parking lot. Yes! I know, like, there's something where they're like, we're going to Silver Lake, and then they show a shot, and you're like, what is that?

No way. This whole movie was definitely shot someplace weird. I feel like this movie was shot after hours on the universal back lot. They're like, quick, shut up, we can shoot it. One take, let's go, we got it. Moving on. Everything is something they can just grab. Yeah.

But can you just do this over here? Yeah, let's go right, we got this, we got this. Well, we have a lot to talk about, and we'll talk about it with our second special guest tonight, who also can be seen on One Mississippi, which is on Amazon, season two right now. She has a book called, I'm Just a Person. She's currently on tour through December. Please welcome, Tig Notaro!

Woo! Welcome. Hurrah, Tig! Hello, my dear. So exciting. Tig howling to first thoughts out of the gate. You watch this movie, we assign this movie to you. Yes.

You did. You're welcome. Now, let me tell you something. I am not the biggest moviegoer. Sure. Nor television watcher. I... Nor book reader.

Or radio listener. I don't care for music. Or art. Exercise. No, I really work on my abs. Don't say... Oh, yeah. No, I love... You did backstage say, I have an eight pack now.

I have a keg. I love music. This has nothing to do with what happens in the process of getting the homework to watch this movie. Stephanie and I were in New York with, we have twin babies, and we were staying at her, please be seated. And we were staying at her mother's farmhouse, hanging out with the babies.

Are you emailing somebody? No. Because I'm overdue for a nap. So we're in New York. We have them on spike. Please Skype, please welcome. Anybody. So we're at the farmhouse.

I also have some work in the city of New York. And we're like, we're going to watch the movie when we get to the Benson ball. And that was, we got here yesterday. Today we're like, we're going to watch the movie. So we get the movie and we snuggle in like a bunch of lesbo baggins in the bed. Is that because you guys have those big,

giant hairy feet? That's exactly why. No, that's not why. No, that is why. No, I thought that was unrelated. No, that is why. Oh, all right. Anyway, we're lying in bed.

I'm trying really hard to find a way to make a hobbit hole joke. It doesn't matter. Let's keep moving. It does matter, but let's keep it moving. We're snuggling up a storm. Okay, two minutes in, I fall asleep. Hear me out.

I wake up like 40 minutes later. I have a slight awareness that I've been asleep for a while. And I thought, oh, well, maybe Stephanie didn't realize that I was sleeping because I was lying there looking at the screen. And then I looked up at her and I said, I fell asleep. And she said, I know. And I said, you did?

How did you know? And she said, well, I could hear you snoring for one. And number two, you have constant quips typically. And you were silent during the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. That is like a real betrayal to leave her alone, to experience this alone. I could not believe she didn't continue to be like,

hey, wake up, you have to, she really let me snooze down. Let you relax. But I'm here and I'm queer and you better get used to it. That's the end of the story? The end of the story is I'm here. I'm queer, get used to it. Here I'm queer, get used to it. You really kind of turned it into a political statement.

It was just about watching this movie. When I say I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it. I mean, I picture us in the back of a pickup truck driving through town honking at people saying, check out what we're doing. If you can't deal with it, we'll circle back around until you get used to it. Yeah. But I also mean I've shown up in person,

ready to talk about this movie that I snooze through 40 minutes of. But by the way, I suspect you would be able to make as much sense of it as the rest of us. It kind of felt like nothing mattered when I woke up. I think that is true. The movie does have, I think, one of the best openings here, which is. I saw the opening. Yeah, I figured that much. You got Christopher Lee in space.

Christopher Lee in space saying. But what does this signify? Let's see. The inhabitants of the earth have been made drunk with her blood. Okay, hold on one second. I also need to mention that we could not get this on iTunes or Amazon. It's on iTunes. I know.

I don't know my password. You are really filling in for Jude Hardcore right now. Hold on. I'm here. I'm curious. I'm used to it. Jason, get used to it. Oh, Stephanie found it.

Take Millicent Nataro. What are you talking about? Stephanie found the movie on YouTube. And as I'm watching this, this is around where I fell asleep. The opening seconds. And because it was on YouTube, it only shows a very small square, which was only a close-up of his nose. What?

What were you watching? And so the whole movie was a close-up of like two inches. Yeah, because you don't know it. We tried like all her possible passwords. It didn't work. I don't have enough space on my computer to download anything. Is anybody in the crowd a Mac Genius or work for the Geek Squad? Can you help these two out?

Here's the thing. My assistant is in town with us, and I texted him to find out help. What my password was, but he was looking at monuments. He should have it on his phone in a moment's notice. At a monument's notice. At a monument's notice. Two things. A, he should not have your password.

Don't you groan at me. He should not have your password. And B, you should fire him because no matter what fucking monument this jackoff is at, he should be able to answer your question immediately. He is not a jackoff. He seems like a lovely man who's a straight up moron. No, this is, we are talking about Mr. Thomas. And Mr. Thomas has all of-

Okay, so he goes by Mr. Thomas? Because you said this is my assistant, Mr. Thomas. Only recently, because we went to Memphis and we stayed with my family there, and I was, please settle down. Yes, I said Memphis. I was upstairs at my cousin's house. Thomas was downstairs. I was yelling to him probably to find out a password of mine.

And my cousin's son said, Mr. Thomas, Tiggs calling for you. And Thomas and I were like, did he just say Mr. Thomas? And it was really- And Mr. Thomas is a young man. The first time you're called Mr. is a moment. Yeah, well he's now Mr. Thomas in our life. Great. I'm only gonna call him Mr. Thomas.

But he has all of my passwords and I had a conversation with him. Once when I said, if I'm robbed blind. You did it. You did it. Mr. Thomas. Well, of course I know who did this, Mr. Thomas. Anyway, I need to head out. Well, you fell asleep.

You fell asleep within the first 40 seconds. The movie is 91 minutes. Couple interesting things about this movie right out of the gate. It is called the howling to your sister is a werewolf. Lest there be any doubts. But yet that is only one of the titles that has been marketed under. It was been released as she-wolf, bark at the moon. It's not over yet.

And stirba the werewolf bitch. That's what we watched. We watched stirba the werewolf bitch. Yeah, I woke up and I saw that. That's what YouTube called it. In fact, we got through the whole movie and at the end, Stephanie said, I'm scared we just watched howling one. That would be amazing.

If you watch it on YouTube, when we started it, it said it was two hours and 30 minutes. And I was like, Jesus Christ. And I was like, this is going to be a glorious nap. But they just repeat it within the same YouTube video. So in the middle of it, it ended and we were both like, did it just start over? Or was that just- This really seemed like a hellish experience for you guys because we're-

We loved it. This is fantastic. That was like when I went to go see Requiem for a Dream. And they put the wrong reel in the middle. So you watched most of the movie and then they put the same reel back on. And I was like, oh, I guess we're supposed to watch it differently now. Like I've already seen this. Like I accepted it as like that's how-

That's the intention. That's the intention of the director to watch the same 40 minutes again with different meaning. And only did I realize after those like 30 minutes that Projections came out and said, I'm sorry, we made a horrible mistake. We're not going to stop it. Just continue to watch it and then we'll get back on track. Not a good way to watch that movie.

So this movie picks up right where Howling One leaves off, but they change the main actress. Sibyl Danning, it takes over for the actress that was in the first movie. So the reporter character, is it Jennifer or Jessica? Her name is- Does it matter? Yeah. What is it?

Karen. I think it's Karen? I thought I heard someone say Karen. Wait, is- her name's not Karen, right? Everybody's saying- Yes, Karen is the dead sister. Oh, Karen's the dead sister. Okay, the reporter-

Who becomes Sturba? No. Does she? Isn't Karen- I don't feel like you guys are on the same page. JK, you are. I thought that Karen was the one that they would bury. No, Christopher Lee kills Karen.

I thought they took that body and brought it over to the thing. Okay. Guys, we're so early in and there's universal revolt from the audience. Like, these people are going to straight up kill us. Is there- are there people here tonight that saw this movie? They just saw it before this- No, no, no, I know. I have more to my sense.

My question. They were like, I actually don't think this is bad. You watched and you were like, mwah, mwah. I will say on the level of movies that we watched, I found this to be thoroughly entertaining the whole way through. Compared- compared to a lot of the stuff we've been forced to watch, this was very watchable. Yeah.

I will say. Well, and I think what's watchable about it is the love story between, um, not Jamie Lee Curtis and Ben. It's when you see chemistry like that pop, it's, I'm in. I was- I was shocked to find out that he was a character that was going to last through the whole movie. Like at the beginning, he set up to be like, I don't buy this for a second.

And then you're like, okay, Karen, not her name. What's her name, Jenny? Yeah. Okay, okay. Jenny, I felt like it's going to be Jenny's story. She's the, the reporter. She's going to figure this out.

She's going to get to the bottom of this. And then this clown tags along for the whole fucking show. And they seemingly don't know each other at all. Right. Yeah. And then like, this is his reaction when Christopher Lee reveals pretty important information. But hold on, Paul, before you, Paul, before you start,

pretty cool graffiti. It's just like almost an Olympic. It's like symbolically, like, represents, I feel like, the boobs that the movie is going to show you pretty soon. It's either that or it's, it's tix, or it's tix password. Zero, zero, zero pound. That's to remind you what your password is. Thomas.

Please, everybody, if you're a fan, change your passwords to zero, zero, zero pound. But make one of the zeros an O to keep the, you know, you know, overlap them if you can. So it's three-fifths of the Olympic rings plus pound. So here is some, some pretty solid acting. Mr. Krosko. I remember this.

How do you know my name? I've seen you on television. What do you know about the death of Karen White? I know that she is a werewolf. Oh. And he just walks away. Who drops that bomb and walks away? That guy.

You said your sister is a werewolf. That's not a bullshit. I could, that is amazing. I could talk for the next, I'm going to be honest, four hours about this band. I want to get into this. DC, I want to talk about this with you. So stop recording right now.

Wow. Just getting keep recording. Disciple put something out there, two things about Christopher Lee. He only agreed to do this movie because it was a werewolf movie. He never done a werewolf movie. Just checking him off the list. Checking him off the list. Also admitted that when the other actors were on set,

not Jamie Lee Curtis and Ben, he would walk off set because he was so distraught by their acting. So that's there. And then finally, when he did do Grimlins 2, before he accepted the role, he apologized to the director of The Howling One for being associated with The Howling 2. These are things that we know about.

So they go to this and I want to keep on saying vampire because everything about this movie reads vampire to me. It's like they're werewolves, but to me, I understand a werewolf story as being like, I turn into a werewolf. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just bitten. Or I'm, but I'm wild.

I'm not this person. But here, when they turn into a werewolf, they're just kind of like Harry versions of themselves that seemingly are perfectly communicative. Like they're not wild. They're reasonable. Yeah. They have some sort of a...

Well, they are hungry and they attack people, but they seem much more interested in werewolf on werewolf orgies. Like they don't even seem to want too much of humans other than to feed on them every once in a while. They really want to get down to the bone zone with a bunch of other hairy werewolves. This, the werewolf sex in this movie...

Is gross times a million. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's like being in the worst acting class. Yes. You know, it's like, yeah, you're a wolf. And they're like, they're not even kissing.

They're just like... You know what I feel like? I felt like because the werewolf sex, they're all made up in hair. I feel like they couldn't touch each other because the hair would come off. I feel like the special effects dictated the fact that they couldn't touch each other.

So all the sex scenes are like... Like right up against, but not. There was no physical contact whatsoever. Except the hair? The hair was like beyond gross. Yeah. It's cheap and... But it's like they keep on...

It's cheap. Yes, it is. Another side note about this movie is that... They were werewolves. It's a werewolf movie. They got sent a crate of costumes that said, Planet of the Apes on it. And they opened it up and it's all ape costumes.

And the director's like, it's a werewolf movie. They can't be apes. And the studio said, you'll make it work. So the reason why... I have an update. Most of the werewolves just look like straight up monkeys. Do you know what the budget was?

The budget, we looked around. We could not find it. I know how much it made on DVD, but that doesn't seem to be... How much is that? Like $57,000? This is a movie that is about werewolves that the movie Teen Wolf makes look like...

Teen Wolf has much better special effects. And Teen Wolf, it looks terrible. But I feel like it's that chewing of scenery. Like even the sex scene is like, oh, they're so sexual. But it's not. It's like it's... It's so gross.

Like when you see an orgy in a movie, like, ooh, that's an orgy. But then when you go to an orgy, I imagine you'd be like, ew, gross. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. No, you know what I'm saying? Wait, what are you... Wait, when you see a movie in an orgy in a movie...

I don't know, like I'm just saying that there's something... Ooh, that's an orgy. That's what you're like? No, I'm just saying like, in a movie, it's like sexualized in a way that seems like... I wish June was here. I have a point, which is this, which is like, when you see a movie,

when you see it in a movie, there's something like at least sexual about it. But then I guess in reality, it would be really gross. And this movie is the really gross. It's like, oh, an orgy's happening. I feel uncomfortable watching it. I shouldn't be here. Well, like having someone sleeping on me,

and then like seeing like these weird boobs, and it's like... And then they turn into a werewolf, and it's not sensual, and you're just like... And it is that feeling where you're so aware of their like acting of like... I'm like hot. And then like as a viewer, you're like,

I don't know what a body looks like. I don't know what sex is. Like, I can't wrap my mind around... And then meanwhile, I'm just like... Like, I would be lying there thinking like, if Tig woke up and just looked at this, like, what is this? It's unnerving because... How would I catch her up?

Because even dogs... Like, dogs don't just like circle each other like... Like, they're almost like posing for each other. It is the world's worst acting class sex scene. And it happens midway in where all of a sudden I was like, oh, wow, they just like show like a boob. And then it's like nudity and sex where you're like, I guess that's sex?

Yeah, the orgy is... Oh, all the orgy, the threesome. They have the threesome. They have sex for every sex scene. I was like, oh, this is... I wrote, I continue to write, this is the grossest thing I've ever seen. Least sexy three-way ever.

Werewolf sex is awful. These are actual notes that I wrote. I wrote werewolf orgy barf. I just saw this in my notes too, that during the orgy, my headphone jack came out of my iPad. And because I got up to go to the bathroom and it started playing, I was like... I was like, it's a really...

It was a long moment. Wait, so during the orgy, you got up to go to the bathroom. Yeah. Yeah, I'm still... I'm still a human person. So you're that dude on the plane who's watching dirty movies and then jacking down in the bathroom?

It's cool. We're all that guy. The sex scene, though, that's not the werewolves. Where's the reporter and the guy? Where they like... Up against the wall only? Well, what? Yeah, well... All sex only against the wall? And he's still wearing his jeans?

You mean that sexy? Yeah, where you're like, wait, it's he... What is happening? Yeah, he's still fully wearing his jeans. Right. She's up against the wall behind him. You only see her tiny head poking out from behind him, like it's as if

he's trying to smash her into the wall. I will also just go out here and say that this is a couple that have shown no flirtatious banter. They haven't even touched each other. The only tip off you get is she says one room. But that's out of nowhere where you're like, yeah, two rooms, yep, they have no sexual chemistry. They're not together.

And then she's like, no, one. He's like, all right. I thought she was just being frugal. When in Transylvania, you want to be able to spend money on dinners and going out and seeing the shows. I assumed that she wanted to... That for her, they were in a place where they knew werewolves to be,

so for safety's sake, stay in the same room. But then I realized these people never once think they're in any danger whatsoever. Every time they walk away from a brutal massacre, it's as if they memento themselves and they're like, well, this person seems trustworthy. Let's just trust them and to wait a minute. There's literally a line where he goes, see that dwarf?

Let's follow him. And then she goes, why not? Because you're in fucking Transylvania where you've just been told you're essentially going to be killed. Like, yeah, that's why not. I wrote that same line of dialogue. You see that dwarf waving at us? Yeah, should we follow him?

Yeah, like mental. And then they do, or then they're like, he's like, hey, you know, Jenny, I'm going to take off. But if she comes back, keep an eye on her. He says to guy who is obviously werewolf. Going back into why this is a shitty werewolf movie, they're like, they're not werewolves. They can't be killed by silver bullets.

They must be killed by titanium bull. It's like, come on, who gives a shit? Like, it's like, there's no difference. You're dead, you're dead. Well, it's a sort of like, oh, that's not like, it's like, not silver, it doesn't make a difference. It's the same thing. It's like, but they're trying to make them so like,

this is our version is cooler. It's not, it's not cool at all. Unless you then cut to the sea, a song, titanium, doesn't work for me. The only thing that's cool about this movie is the way that Christopher Lee dresses at the punk rock which is in a red shirt tucked into jeans, which I feel like Christopher Lee has never worn jeans in his life.

There are certain men who have never worn jeans, and I feel like he is one of them. He's like, oh, this fabric burns my skin. And a leather jacket, he's also wearing a leather jacket. Yeah, let's see, I'll get a pair. Yeah, right here. And he has given like a pair of like really shitty, like 1980s wraparound white sunglasses,

I guess to be a part of the punk scene. Right, but yeah, he, he just is amazing. I remember seeing that gay moment where the guy- You do, you woke up for the gay moment? Yeah, you did. Yeah, I was like getting a vibe that I could deal with this coming up. I feel like you ingested this movie, it's almost like it came into you in sleep and dream state.

Actually nothing did, except for this moment when the guy went to kiss the other guy and he was like- And you were like, is that two dudes? And I was like, yeah. And were you like sleepily like, they're here, they're crickets, they're right. Yes. Does anyone-

Make sure I remember that for the show later. Does anyone understand what actually- Shut that down. Does anyone understand what actually happened in that warehouse? So the, the one, the one werewolf brings them there. Well, because they also in the werewolves made a big deal about their, their teeth coming in exactly like vampire teeth. And their teeth coming in, it looks like a ball,

like a click ballpoint pen. It's like just like, it's gross. It's like, it's like, it just like comes out in a real, like a really like shitty thing, a chap stick. And like it just, but she's only one werewolf there. And then all of a sudden one guy's getting a box thrown at his head. Then it seems like- She's howling to draw people, to draw the other werewolves' attention, right?

She brings them to the warehouse and then she's like- And then I'm assuming that's saying to the other werewolves, come and get it, dinner's served. And then the other werewolves come and comedically throw trash at the, at these, at these morons. And then, and then chomp down on their, on their whole bodies. A lot of bad decisions being made here, because one of the punks gets a brick thrown at his head.

And he's like, all right. And then like unzips his pants, like enough foreplay. Like maybe that's your cue to leave. Like maybe things didn't have like, he literally unzips his fly like, all right. The other thing is the, the, the woman who lures them there, whose name I'm forgetting, she is like, oh, you know, but she has taken all of her clothes off.

Mariana. As if she's going, Mariana, is her name? As if she's going to have sex with the guys. But there is no sex to be had. I think there is only eating of these people. So I'm not sure why she takes all her clothes off. I don't think that's, she seems, they keep coming back to this one shot of her where she's like-

They clearly only had enough money to do the werewolf transformation makeup with her once. Yeah. So they cut to that throughout the film. Like everything in this movie is oddly cut. It's like, oh, we're driving. Sex. Yeah.

Werewolf face. Bat. Like, wait, what? I don't know. And it also, they also do it at times where, where the, the flash is something that the character that you are cutting from did not experience. So this person could not have a memory of this experience,

nor is it part of the movie that people are being given projected memories into them. So these are just disparate elements juxtaposed next to each other that make no sense. Oh, I love this movie. Let me ask- Who's taking his surveillance pictures? By the way, she seems to be very aware of the surveillance pictures.

She's like, please, no pictures, no pictures, please. I will say that the interesting thing about this scene is this was improvised by Christopher Lee to justify why they only had monkey costumes, not werewolf costumes. So if you are watching the movie with that knowledge, it makes a little bit more sense. He, he justifies it by saying they go, they have to first become monkeys and then they can become werewolves.

Really? Yeah. So you hear it. Also everything in the background is crazy. One of that kind to remain in consecrated ground. That woman is a werewolf? Her name is Mariana. She was one of the most vicious and one of the most dangerous kind.

Because she is immune. Silver bullets are useless against such creatures. Quite just. Only titanium. I'm knitting needle. How can you miss this ball? It's all true, Mr. White. I have a leader.

Woman called. We need more skeletons. Still. Here we go. I think this is where he starts. At the next full moon, it will be the 10th millennium of stillbirth birth. At midnight on that day, all werewolves will reveal themselves. All transformations have already begun.

Process of evolution. Kiss. Kiss the skeleton. To the rest. At many stages, before man becomes a beast, before that happens, stillbirth is destroyed and I will do it. Come on. So I guess that's how they did it.

They just showed three heads. Human, monkey, and then wolf head. And they're like, get it. Good. Got it. Moving on. By the way, I just realized there, you can't even kill them with a silver bullet. You have to use a silver stake.

Again. Vampires. And that was all. You can kill regular werewolves with a silver bullet, but you have to kill the, what's her name? Sturba. Sturba? Or Mariana.

Sturba, you have to kill those people with titanium. Are these? I believe. Like, I'm not familiar with werewolf stuff. Is this like- You're not? Even after the smoothing? You're not familiar with werewolf stuff?

No, like- How dare you? Wherewolf stuff. That's why we asked you to do this. Werewolf stuff. Werewolf stuff. But like, I think of vampires and like, oh, they need a virgin. They need to get, they feed off blood.

They don't eat. Like, what are the rules of a werewolf? I would say, to me, I would just say like, what I understood of it was, you get bitten by a werewolf, then on the full moon you turn into a werewolf. You do a bunch of stuff and then you feel guilty for it. Like, that to me seems like the werewolf story. This is the classic Professor Lupin understanding of what a werewolf is. Right?

Anyway, it's either bitten and that's what happens. Or I believe it to be genetic in the case of Teen Wolf, right? Because his dad is a werewolf. Right. So I think those are the ways that it happens. And it is. Full moon, blah, blah, blah. Taste for human flesh, blah, blah, blah.

Feeling guilty, yeah. And playing basketball if you want to go on the Teen Wolf now. Sure. And then like surfing on top of the van. And also boxing if you want to go Teen Wolf 2. Or, you know, sacrificing your life so that the chosen one can live. Professor Lupin's spoiler alert for Harry Potter. Or just really liking a girl twilight.

They're functioning as a human. Yes. And then at the full moon they're a werewolf and they just want to eat people. And once the full moon goes away, they're back to a regular person. Exactly. Totally. It's able to teach the dark arts perfectly well. Defense against the dark arts.

Totally well. But yeah, no otherwise. It's not something that you can activate like yourself, I don't think. I think it really is only full moon related. And this movie, they can activate it by themselves. Because at one point when the guy who looks like young Jimmy Smith, he's like having an orgasm on the stairs for some unknown reason. And someone goes, control it.

Control it. Oh yeah. And he's like, okay, like a werewolf blue ball. He's like, hold it in. But that, you know, go ahead. I was like the almost rape scene where they're like teaching discipline. Yeah. Where you're just like, what?

He's going to go learn that lesson and he almost, he's a rapist? I missed that part. There's a lot of weird stuff with Sturba. Sturba also like. I have a lot to say about Sturba. The original Sturba. The old lady. That I feel like, I feel like when Sturba is the white-haired old lady,

I genuinely feel like they were like, fuck, we didn't cast this part. But it's supposed to shoot right now. Well, there's a woman where I'm a jean around in a dumpster outside. Put a fucking cloak on her. Let's do this. That woman seems genuinely lost. By the way. She is, her part is like, I feel like they're like action and she was like.

Jason. Where am I? What's happening? I think Jason that you are right because this movie was, well, here's the deal. This movie was shot in Czechoslovakia when it was Soviet controlled. It was the only movie that was shot behind the Iron Curtain. And, hey. Yes.

What do you mean the only one? American film that had like this. And so there's so many great stories about this. But basically like the punk scene, like people, thousands of people showed up because they thought it was a band and they just came there to party. They never get to see music. Yeah. And then like the police came and like, you've got to send these people away.

And then the director had an assistant who never worked on a movie before. No one spoke English. But Christopher Lee was a war hero in Czechoslovakia because he was part of the royal air force. And he was part of, he was basically got a hero's welcome because he was part of the SAS. And he said he couldn't go into details of what he did, but he killed some very big Nazis, including Reinhard Heydrich in Czechoslovakia. And can you imagine, can you imagine, you're Christopher Lee. You are a war hero.

The country that you, that you fought, that you, that you, that you risked your life for. And you go back to that country to make this, that this is your return visit is to be like, I am in this nightmare of a movie. And he said he could never say about what he specifically did, but because it was behind the Iron Curtain, it was in Czechoslovakia, they just were getting random people. And I feel like, yes, that woman was like, she's good. She seemed lost. Yeah.

It's like she's in line for bread, get her in here, get her a movie part. My favorite part of the movie was when old lady Sturba sucks the life force out of young girl, who is the sacrifice in the first kind of werewolf ceremony, sucks her life force up, pops her head up and she's now hot. Young Sturba takes off her giant cloaks and is wearing like a hot dress. So that means the old lady was like, ooh, when I get that life force, I'm going to be stacked and looking good. So I need to get a dress that that works for.

So that's like her outfit is planned way ahead, which I thought was really funny. It made me really laugh. I was like, where did this dress come from? But meanwhile, at the end when like Christopher Lee is fighting Sturba, like she goes back to old woman like, because I really love that she then continues everybody in the once they get to Transylvania. It's interesting. Once they get to Transylvania, everybody seems as though they are in the village of the crazies

from from Jim Cotta. It seems like they are back in time, right? It feels old, like old world villages, you know, Transylvania, whatever masks running down the street. Sturba, Sturba scene by scene starts to be someone who's dressed like an X man character from the 90s. Like she's in like crazy metallic shoulder pads with like giant weird wrap around sunglasses. She's dressed like Debbie Harry or something.

It's like Cyclops. It's like, why doesn't the X men wear the comments? The office they have in the comments because it will look like this. I feel like they were like terrible based it on this and gave her like a dazzler picture and like that was it. I have to say this is making me want to go back and watch the movie. I feel like I feel like is it every once in a while we touch on something you remember? No.

No. It was truly just the two dudes kissing and then went back to my nap and then I woke up 40 minutes later. I also feel like Sturba was given all this like, like she does a lot of stuff in voiceover and I felt like that was a choice of I can't memorize all this dialogue. I think it was not her voice. Oh, it wasn't. I think because there are a number of people in this movie that were strictly ADR, right? Right.

Who all of their dialogue was ADR. I assumed those are different voices for some of those actors. But civil Danning is in a... Sturba? Sturba. She can speak English. Probably. So I mean, like, she wasn't just a Czechoslovakian that they found.

See, look at this outfit. She looks like an X man villain. Sturba really. Wait, what is the, is that a wolf? Well, yeah. She's here with the, listen, you can watch a little of the scene here we go. No, thank you. Is that, do you think that dog is supposed to be alive?

Oh, so this is higher budget than I thought. How did she get outside? By the way, you just pointed out that dog isn't alive. I thought that dog was alive. No. Like, I just, I didn't realize the dog didn't never move. The dog is just a taxidermy dog. Yeah.

They got to Czechoslovakia and was like, give us all your stuffed beasts. It's also like so 80s with her outfit to accentuate her hips. Like her 80s outfit goes out. Instead of making her look thinner, it's like my hips are enormous. And then I have it tiny ways. Don't forget, it's 1985 when you look at my hips. I like it. And my sunglasses and my hair and this whole movie.

Just a 1985 reminder. Oh my God. Well, just so you guys know too, the movie has many, many, many sequels. It is- We watched them all. Three novels, eight films. Isn't that what they did for community? This is a, it started off with the howling.

Then it was the howling two, the one we just saw. Howling three marsupials, howling four. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm going to stop you right there, Paul. And I know, I'm assuming none of us have seen it. No. Has anybody seen this movie?

Okay, okay, okay. Who feels like they can really genuinely tell us very quickly what the fuck that means? Does it take place in a pouch? Is there a, is there a Joey? Is there a character named Joey in that movie? No? Really? Wow.

All right. So that's that. Okay. Then howling four in 1988. By the way, these were all made between, well, they guess 80. These were made every year pretty much. Howling four. Just like Woody Allen movies.

There's one every year. Most of them have gotten quite bad. The original nightmare, howling five, the rebirth, howling six, the freaks. Then they take a break from 91 to 95. No howling until howling new moon rising 1995. Then they take another giant break for the howling reborn in 2011. Oh wow. Whoa.

Yeah. A lot of howlings. A lot of howlings out there. Break it down. Break it down, Paul. Break it down. So, do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-poof. Not Jamie Lee Curtis, worked with a woman who was a werewolf.

That woman turned into a werewolf on air. That's Karen. Karen. That footage was amazing. That footage was amazing. That was crazy. That was from howling one. She was killed, all right, great.

She was killed, she was buried the wrong way we get it. At the funeral, the brother comes into the picture. Now, not Jamie Lee Curtis doesn't know the brother. They don't seem to know each other. And then Christopher Lee's like, hey, by the way, your sister's a werewolf. Which they know because she turned into one on television. Okay, and he's like, bullshit,

but I guess he shows her the tape. All right, so this is already a convoluted thing because basically Christopher Lee is like, I had to go kill Sturba, but that has nothing to do with what you guys have going on. Like you bring nothing to this equation. Also, not Jamie Lee Curtis, there is no part of her entire arc that is,

I'm reporting on this story, so that I can expose where wolves exist. That's not part of it. And in the beginning, they're like, bring your crew. And I was like, I remember saying, I'm like, oh, what is she, a reporter? And then it was like, that doesn't happen. Because that guy's like, there's six dead people.

You're on the case. I remember you asking about that. I was like, what does she need her crew? So there's nothing. So basically what we're saying is this movie, you could eliminate two of the main characters and it would not affect the movie at all. Like because even when not Jamie Lee Curtis

is kidnapped and then they paint her in blood, it doesn't figure into anything. Honestly, the two Germans who are eaten by the werewolves are just as viable as main characters. Like it could have been their movie as well. It is, yeah, it makes no sense. And then Christopher Lee kills her and then she's like, well, you got to come with me.

Why? I don't understand that. I also have a question that is related to that, which is everybody in the movie, Sturba related, seems to traffic in some sort of sexual, incestuous relationship. So she keeps referring to Christopher Lee as her brother, but they seem to have some sort of erotic connection.

When Sturba is rebirthed into young Sturba, she says, where is our new daughter? Young Jimmy Smits brings in Mariana. Yeah, Mariana. Brings her in. She's like, she'll kill many for us or whatever. They're so into this girl, this new daughter they have, then they fuck her.

There's like some really weird, everybody refers to each other by familial terms, but then straight up fucks them. It's confusing because he brings these two idiots to Transylvania, but they don't need, he doesn't need to. So much so that he's like, before they even get to the village, he's like, I'm going to go.

I'm going to leave you guys with the car. I'm going to walk into the village. I'll see you there later. He's like, and then he's like, you'll know where to meet me. And then it's so confusing. Oh, by the way, were him and his guys putting on that puppet show? Yes.

So they wasted two, at least, perfectly good warriors putting on a puppet show, which is an allegory for the movie we're watching. Yes? But there's also right at that moment when they're left alone, where the werewolf is in the back of their car and they almost get killed and it's a shot of their car

like tipping off a cliff. And then they're like cut to them in the hotel and they're like, one room. Yeah. Like there's like no thought that they were about to fall off. Not at all. Cool. And then the fucking ending of this movie,

which we need to touch on. So they escape, they get back home, and it's Halloween, they're happily married, the doorbell rings, it's Halloween, they open the door, they see a werewolf and they're like, what the fuck is that? The most, one of the most iconic costumes of Halloween, they give the kid candy and they go,

I just saw that part. Yeah, they're like, where is he from? Oh, he's from the room next, the apartment next door. They not, first of all. Oh, and by the way, the best one of the best, which is like, this is a bit that we do, I feel like as a joke that they really did in this movie, where he goes, well, they're from the apartment next door

and she goes, that apartment's been empty for years. Uh-oh. But there's also, wait, wait, wait. And this is, this is what happens when they go next door to check it out. They're so free, it's Halloween, they're excited for trick-or-treaters. But before you show that. Yes.

There's also right before that, the weirdest moment of the movie, where they're like, oh, guess there's trick-or-treaters, and she like, gets on his hip, and then he's like, he's got her back. It's like they've never seen anyone pick up anyone else, like how would I ever hold such a large thing? Or it's like, oh, we want to make sure

that the audience knows that they're still romantically involved. So climb him like a tree, and he will walk, but also carry this pumpkin full of candy. So again, if, and I'll say anything, if it wasn't Halloween and some little weird kid knocked the door,

that's freaky ending. It's Halloween, they're prepared with candy. Then they go, oh, I think he's from the room next door. They go next door, and then this happens. BELL RINGS Good evening. Will your neighbors have your child just knocked on our door? Can you pause for a second, Paul?

Okay. Oh, I remember that. Has this character been in the movie before? No. Okay, okay, cool. All right, so. But this is a priest, right? Well, I think he's a priest because they want to really show you, well, we won't spoil the reveal,

but they really want to show you this guy could not have children. Here we go. Well, Paul, I mean, let's be honest. It's possible. It was the 80s. Not with a white collar. Will your neighbors have your child

just knocked on our door? My child. Yeah, the kid didn't move out. But they have food. Oh, child. Can you pause it for a second again, Paul? I just want to make sure we're back in Los Angeles now. Yes.

Okay, so where's this guy from? By the way, if all the voices to ADR, this would have been the one to do, right? Here we go. I've been a bachelor and live alone. What you coming? A little later. I hope so.

And I hope so. What else? What is the intention of this scene? It's like, okay, there's so many things. Like they're creeped out, it's Halloween. They go across the thing, he doesn't have a kid. That should be the creep out. Ooh, do you think he's wearing a priest costume

as a Halloween costume? Oh, maybe. Because he doesn't say, he doesn't say, I don't have a child. He doesn't say, I don't have a child. I'm a priest, obviously. He says, I'm a bachelor and live alone. Which is so, and then he's like, please come in.

What is that invitation? Now I feel like he is part of the bad guys. Is he part of the bad guys? No, you don't know that for sure. Is he with the werewolf kid? This guy raised his hand in the front. Hold on, what's up? Hang on, man, what's up?

Hold on, hold on, hold on, because we have to make sure people can hear you. He's the priest from when the car crashed earlier. Yeah, that's what I thought. Yes. He's the priest, he's the priest from Transylvania. So that's why he's not dubbed. Got it.

And that werewolf kid did go in there because he is a werewolf. Or is he a werewolf? We don't know. Dude, I thought you had the answers. You have betrayed me in that shirt. And then... That was the only part of the movie

that made sense to you, right? You tracked that. Well, it's funny because when you raised your hand, there was no, like, joy or... There was no sense of, like, oh, I'm at a comedy show. It was just more of, like... Here's the fact. Here, I can help you.

I have to. And that's why our audience is so amazing. I can connect these dots for you, so that... He's like, please let me help you. And then when you think the movie can't push it any further, they do something that is the most insane thing of all time. They kind of do, like, a recap of the movie,

like a credit sequence, kind of like, remember all the good times we have? Okay. This right here, this is some next level crazy. This might be the craziest thing that's ever happened, except for Travolta's crotch imperfect. Um, and what they did was there's a moment when civil-dancing rips off her shirt earlier in the movie.

They cut to that scene 17 times in the credit sequence. As if it's a music video for the amazing band that is playing during the end credits, it is just, they keep referencing that one thing where she's watching, not Jimmy Smith's, and the other woman have sex, and she is so horned up by just watching them

that she rips her shirt, her dress open, and then just continues to watch. I want to get the exact quote here. Oh, man. Well, apparently, civil-dancing was not amused that her nudity was being repeated 17 times in the end credits, no duh. That was, and it's insane.

So this is the reason, it goes, in the original cut, the end credits had civil-dancing stripping five times. And the producer was like, hey, what if we change it from five to 17 times? That does not sound like the behavior of a producer in Hollywood. I find it very hard to believe. I need proof. That is not how my town of Hollywood works.

Go ahead. And so the director goes, if you're crazy enough to do it, go ahead. And that's what we got. 17 times of her ripping off her shirt in a minute and 30 seconds. I think we have ample evidence in this movie to prove that the producers of this movie are crazy enough to do anything.

Let's go into the audience. Let's see what you guys had to say about this. Guys, remember. Let's not have all of the questions for me. So the movie is called Howling To Your Sister's Aware Wolf. I'm going to come to you and ask you what you think a better title might be. Can I ask your name?

While everybody thinks for a moment about what their answer is going to be to that question, what's so interesting to me is that the title of the movie posits the theory that the big lumbering guy is the lead character. Your sister is a werewolf. It should be like Christopher Lee's acquaintance's sister is a werewolf. Like that guy is arguably the least important character. As is his sister.

By the way, they give you the only piece of character development at minute like 65. Oh, no, there's 20 minutes left in the movie. It reminds me of being in Vietnam. Oh, yeah. That's why he's so good as a soldier. Like he's like throwing, you know, he's like a good shot. All right, sir.

Your name and your subtitle. So your name first. My name is Andrew. Okay, Howling To. I liken those werewolf titties. And he uses the term liken, which is a werewolf term. Okay, great. I also want to give you this.

Oh my God. She brought us an album, a vinyl of perfect. Thank you so much. Nice. Yes, your question. Okay. So Sturba is a thousand years old. Sure.

And. Okay. Okay. 10,000. We got it. Okay. Everybody's so mad at you, Andrew. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Everybody's so mad at you. I don't know if I'm going to get through this then. Is it a math question? A thousand years old. Okay, yes. Stefan is her brother. Okay. She is that old because she's able to suck the life out of young women.

What is Stefan doing to stay like? It's a great question. Great question. I'll go around. Like, are we supposed to believe he is also supernatural in some way, do you think? But how so? What? He's a vampire?

He is? Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're blowing my mind here. Hold on. By round of applause, Stefan is a vampire. By round of applause, Stefan is not a vampire. No. No way.

The majority rules. There's no way Stefan is a vampire. You see him during the day. A werewolf? Okay. But I just have to tell you, Paul, the guy in the front row that you spoke to earlier, when you said, what was the first option? Is Stefan a vampire?

Is he a werewolf? He didn't clap. Okay. Then your second question. Yeah, okay. He went like this. He's our... Again, no indication that he was enjoying himself.

That he was at a comedy show. It was strictly here for facts, trying to solve this equation. Figure out history. I like your style. It's like, oh, note to self, never sit in front row again. Ma'am, your name and your howling subtitle. So first, your name. Dara.

Howling too. Is it Dara or Hannah? Be cool. Howling to splash. Howling too. Electric boobaloo. Nice. Very good.

DC is coming. Wait, was there a lot of... I'm sorry, I was going to make a bad joke. DC is strong with the pun game. No, no, no. Just say it. I can't, I can't. All right.

Not unless people beg me. When they leave the punk nightclub the first time. The Batcave. Yeah. And they drive for how long, because when they arrive, it's daytime. Good question. And we know that that Batcave was in LA, so that's closing down 1.32 a.m. So they drove for four hours.

Oh, if not longer. Because they also drive to like a very desolate industrial area. All right. I'm going to go to this person that has a very exciting sign here. All right. Sir, your name? We're all Grease 2. Oh, they're dressed as Grease 2 characters right now.

Stand up now. Stand up. Are they dressed up for June? We got a pink lady, Mr. Stewart. The great Halloween costumes. The reproduction. I love it. The reproduction.

This is great. I love it. I wish I had something to give you. You want a perfect LP? No, I'm not going to give you. Okay. Great costumes. Your name?

I'm David. Howling 2. Howling 2. Moons out, boobs out. Great. And home for the holidays. I love that home for the holidays. Great.

So first of all, your sister's a werewolf. Could refer to Stefan's sister. But one other thing. Stefan gives them these medals. They don't do anything. They act almost just like dog tags to be like, oh, I can identify that someone I know died because someone else has it. Like, Sturba straight up just like rips it off and is like, haha, this is a joke.

And I also read about the Christopher Lee hating the other actors. Do you think that was like his way of being like FU? Do you think that his character made the choice of giving them bad talismans? Because he hated them so much as an actor? He's constantly abandoning them. Do you think that Christopher Lee thought he was in a documentary? I did have an issue. I did have an issue.

Thank you so much. I did have an issue with the earplugs because he goes, put these earplugs in. Then one guy's earplugs fall out. That is one of my favorite lines is when they're running away and the guy's earplugs fall out. And he goes, I lost my earplugs. And then Ben, who has earplugs, goes, where are they? I'll help you find them. So his earplugs, he can hear fine, which defeats the purpose.

What they're protecting against is Sturba's scream that makes the guy's head explode. Right, but if he can hear... Oh, this guy in the green shirt is shitting. But there's also an insert shot of the earplug and the hand right on it where you're like, how are you not picking it up? We're hanging on here or not seeing. With your giant, meaty hands. Paul, maybe ask Green Shirt just only because I want him to stop waving.

Is it about earplugs? All right, I'll come back to you. I'm going to get to you. I'm going to get to you. Just relax, Green Shirt. Just relax. Your name? Maya.

Welcome, Maya. Howling too? Werewolf not mitzvah. Oh, nice. By the way, DC, killing it. Killing it. The best audience with these things. Okay, you're right.

Oh, you're grabbing at me. All right, all right. Okay, guys, guys. Just because Paul's in the audience doesn't mean you can go to second base with him, okay? If you are... So, ma'am, ma'am, stop reaching for those titties. If I'm not Sturba.

If you are in the balcony, please come down because I will never get up there. Oh, wait, I'll go to the balcony. I've got to... She's got to get her question out first, okay? All right. All right. Your question? I...

My question is, so, is Christopher Lee S.R. I'm on his death in the Return of the King where he gets impaled on the wheel. Is that a reference to how he kills the little person in this film who he pushes out and gets impaled on? I'm going to say 100% yes. I'm going to say that Peter Jackson is a fan of the Howling Tomb. All right! Balcony!

Here we go! Jason is up in the balcony. Who's got a question? Oh, I see. Now I can hear myself. I don't care for this. What? You got a question?

Okay. What's your name? And Paul, what's the question? What's your subtitle? Yes. Oh, there's a whole echo. I don't like it. Here we go.

What's your name? Lindsey. Lindsey! It's a gentleman named Lindsey, everybody. Here we go. What's your subtitle? Howling Tomb, Black People Can Be Werewolves 2. Fair enough.

I like it. What... What Lindsey is your question? All right. What percentage of the budget you think was spent on wipes alone? Like, um... Like baby wipes for your butt? Like...

No, like... Like edit wipes. Like the swirl wipe, the sides wipe. Like... It was like... It was like some movie maker. You're right. Well done.

I have not seen as many wipes or circle closing and openings in Star Wars. Paul. Paul, I'm in the very, very back of the theater. I love it. I'm here to report that there is a man asleep. He has now woken up. I will say it is definitively rowdy you're up here. I don't feel, quote-unquote, safe.

Some guy just said you shouldn't. Does anybody have a question? Jason, you look like a punk rock kid in a warehouse in the early morning. Yeah. Who just got hit in the head by a brick. Okay, what's your name and what's your subtitle? Don't touch this microphone. I will punch you in the dick.

Patrick, my subtitle is... My sister's a werewolf? This is going poorly. I like to talk about the jump scare that happens where he's sneaking up on the girl in the shower and he says, boo, hi, honey. It's my favorite part of the movie. That's your favorite part of the movie? I have real reservations about the balcony.

Okay, we're going to get it back. We're going to get it back on track down here, Jason. Can I say one more thing, Paul? We're going to get it back on track right here. I'm going to green shirt, green shirt, here we go. All right, your name and your subtitle. Here we go, your name. Graham.

Howling too. Howlsterba got her groove back. Love it. All right. Get on your feet, DC. We're getting back on track. Get on your feet, DC. Back on track.

That's where it's at. Standing ovation. Can you beat it? All right. All right. Here we go. Please let your observation be that someone looks a little bit like Benjamin Bratt.

No, not even close. I have one small, quick comment and then I got more discussing thing. When he says the Mekong Delta Vietnam thing, I think that is a reference to him being an uncommon valor, the Gene Hackman movie, because he is in that Vietnam film. Reference to his own movie. Reference to his own movie.

I'll take your word for it. Okay. But the thing I can't believe that's been discussed is the gargoyle face hugger that attacks the priest. I mean, she spends a majority of the film. It is in a lot of like random sideways shots. Like, oh, it's a bat. It's not a vampire movie.

It's a werewolf movie. But here's this bat totem that's on the top of a staff. And then she's just channeling like a mouth sucking thing from it and then just throws it at the priest. And the most horrifying imagery in the film happens just, I mean, it's just a nightmare that attacks you for about a minute and a half. And then the ending of the film is a monster erupting out of

the priest's face that has nothing to do with the rest of the movie. And I was thinking like, oh, is that bat going to go inside him and then like possess him? No. It just sort of like snacks on him and then leaves. It's also bats are vampire imagery. Yeah.

By the way, here's a stat. We got a stat from green shirt, too. He goes, they kill 35 vampires. He says lazily, but I was like, no must, no fuss. It's like they don't, it's easy to kill 35 of them. All right. It's almost as if, does anybody know, did they, it's almost as if they, somebody wrote a vampire movie and then they just

were like, fuck it. We'll just call them werewolves and make this movie. An interesting thing about this is the writer of the book was writing the screenplay, but then got busy and stopped. You know, I have to say, I know this, this, the idea of the show is like, it's, you know, what is the idea of the show take? It's only occurring to me now, you might not know.

Well, I've been listening and trying to figure it out. And I feel like it's, it's like, oh, we're going to watch a bad movie. Okay. You know, that's what we've already done. Yes. Okay. Great.

And I figured that out. And I, while you're out in the audience wandering around you as well, Jason, I was thinking about the people behind, it's called Howling. Howling 2. Howling 2. Which by the way, for a little while I thought it was Halloween 2.

Sounds very similar. Anyway, in case some of you accidentally watched Howling, Halloween 2. With Jamie Lee Curtis. With Jamie Lee Curtis. Great movie. We've already done Halloween 3 on this. Anyway, I was thinking about maybe when they made Howling 2.

There were some discussions about maybe we did not make a great movie. Maybe they did realize that. And then I picture somebody going, hold on. Let me show you the future. And then they see tonight. And then they're like, wait a minute. What is this?

And they're like, a bunch of little intellectual nerds have gathered in our nation's capital to discuss the film we have just made. I think we've done a good job. Well, one of the things I will say, those people I suspect might suddenly, simply because of the number of people that bought this movie on iTunes, suddenly get a residual check and be like, what the fuck?

And now we have to make Howling 8. Or 9. Well, where they're going to make 8 another time and then they'll make 9. I genuinely think like sometimes I think like that we have so many people that will download movies or watch them on Netflix or something that it might give people a false sense of good job.

Oh my goodness. Well, obviously that was our opinion about this movie. But there is now a chance to hear a second opinion. We have two second opinion themes here tonight. The pale, pale glow, pale, pale glow of my laptop. I've got some thoughts about this movie. Some thoughts that I need to say. Hello now in my room again.

Post my review on Amazon again. Typing. Typing. Second opinion. Yeah. Yeah. Give it up. Thank you guys so much.

Rachel. That was amazing again. What's your name? Rachel. Rachel. Andrew. Andrew. But not to be outdone.

Washington DC, a performing arts capital. We have another person up here right now. Yeah. What's your name? Anna. Anna, okay. It is now time for a second second opinion theme. From the depths of Amazon they come second opinions.

They are not your first but they will be your second opinions. Second opinion. Second opinion. Second opinions. Second opinion. Second opinion. Second opinion. Second opinion.

Second opinion. Wait for it. From top to bottom. Crazy movies are fun. Give it up for Anna. Amazing. Wow. Amazing.

All right, people. Those are amazing. These are five star reviews called from Amazon. 25 reviews for this film in total. And I'll start off with this one by Sean. He writes simply, this movie, be cool. Five stars. Then, okay, this is a long review by Casey Klipper,

just ends with this line. I mean, who doesn't want to see hot naked women turn into bloodthirsty sex-crazed beasts? LOL, five stars. Does the LOL, wait, I don't get it. I don't get it either. And then finally, this is from Brent Duncan. Oh, yeah, I know him.

Let's get this out of the way right now. What did he say? Let's get this out of the way right now. This is not the howling. This is its own animal. The original howling is a masterful work of werewolf moviemaking. This is a red-headed stepchild.

It's kind of an ugly little meaty, then doesn't continue that. But if you let yourself get to know it, you're going to have a fun time. Five stars. This is an all-seriousness, a fun flick. Don't take it too seriously, five stars. Really went on a journey.

That's a rollercoaster. Really went on a journey with him. I just remembered, it was actually my favorite line in the movie, was at the very end when the reporter goes, let's go offer them wine. It's the neighborly thing to do. You've been covered in blood. I guess I got to say this line.

And also, he just said that little werewolf went into that apartment and she says, oh, that apartment's been empty for years. And he says, maybe someone moved in while we were away. She goes, we should go say hello. They weren't living together, though, before that happened. And also, a wolf just definitely went in there. And you're going to invite someone over for wine on Halloween

when there's trick-or-treaters. They're not going to get any candy from there. I also feel that these two people are fucking dumb. They take a gun, they take a gun, they put it to someone's face, like, show me the quickest way to the airport. And the guy just goes, it would be the equivalent if I just went like that right now. It's not really...

And they didn't have the budget to show an actual airplane in the sky. It was just like an aerial view of some city. Just the sky. Well, we have a special third opinion tonight. And that third opinion is from June Diane Raphael. CHEERING And I will let her take it away. Hello, DC.

I wish, wish, wish that I was there and not here. But here I am and I will not be explaining this hot situation so don't look for answers from me. Paul told me that the movie you guys are about to watch tonight is The Howling 2. And I said, what's that about? And he said, I wanted to take a wild guess. My guess is that The Howling 2

is about... Honestly, I feel like it is about a pack of wolves and or dogs that something happened to or it's dogs that are going to like revert back into their like most wolf self. And we're going to go back into a time where like man and dog live together and dog will create a home

and basically start communal living from the wolf and the wolf den and pack mentality. So feeling is something related to that where a bunch of wolves sort of come back to man and maybe take up some long lost resentments in The Howling 2. I don't know what The Howling, the first Howling is about but that's my guess for The Howling 2.

I wish I could be there to see what the true story is. Have a great night you guys and wish, wish, wish I could be there. Yeah! One final thing before we wrap it up here, one little thing from the DVD commentary was the director knew he was in trouble in Czechoslovakia when they said, well how are we going to do that effect

where Christopher Lee lights on fire? And they said, oh simple, they just poured gasoline on someone and then lit him on fire and stood by with buckets of water and they said, oh no, no, no, no, no, we got to do this differently so that was the level of production that was going on. Wow! They were like, oh but this man is a person that doesn't matter. What we'll do is, Christopher Lee will step out

we'll doze this man in gasoline, we will burn him to death. You'll shoot all of that, that's the movie. This is a non-person. The director said that's why he stopped working with communist stuntmen and he started working with British stuntmen. Wow! So we'll go around the horn here and see, would you obviously, Tig, you didn't see it

so this will be a different question for you. Would I tell this story to my babies? Would you make your babies watch this movie? Would you recommend this movie? Obviously we're watching this movie because it's so bad, it's so good so we're not saying would you watch this because you think it's high art. You know, I would recommend this movie only because, like I said earlier, I don't really follow anything

and I think it would be such a curveball for me to out of nowhere be like, oh my gosh. You know a movie you have to see? The Howling 2. So yes, I highly recommend you watch this. So if you were Tig, people would be like, oh my god, I need to watch that. It's been such a good year, I loved the Florida project, I thought it was so fantastic and of course Howling 2 has got to be like up there.

I mean everything is based out of Howling 2. Yeah, it's like Tig never recommends anything. This has to be a good film. So yeah, I highly recommend The Howling 2. Stephanie? I feel like this movie is so far from me. I think of recommending a movie like Father of the Bride to someone where I'm like, it's white privilege and she gets a blender

but it's fun, it's romanticized, it's worth watching. This, I'm like, I don't even know what it is. White privilege? Yeah, you know what? The image, I'm like, I guess it's a movie. The few times I did wake up, there were moments where I couldn't identify the things I was seeing. I had a moment where it was like, is that a rat coming out of a mouth?

I'm like, I think it's a rat. No, I think it was like a demon kind of scenario. But it doesn't matter. It's like a rat or a bat or a demon. I would love it if there was a reissue of this movie and there was a pull quote on the front that said, I guess it's a movie question mark? Stephanie Allen.

Jason, to you, would you recommend this? Oh boy, Paul, thank you so much for asking. You know, yes, I would say that people should watch this movie. Although, I will say, I was not thrilled to have to pay $14.99. $14.99. And I'm going to say, I don't think you should watch the YouTube version because it sounds like it was compromised. You don't even notice.

Here's what I'll say. And because I watched this alone in a hotel room today, which is like a sad man's nightmare. That being said... Sadder than the man on the 6 a.m. flight watching it next to the woman knitting? I don't think so. I think that speaks volumes of someone so cocksure to people

like, oh yeah, I'm going to watch this good movie here. Check it out. By the way, I'm not interested in morning knitters. But I will say, because this is a very unique thing that happened today, who in this audience came here and watched the movie tonight? That's how to watch this movie. To me, if you have an opportunity to see this movie, obviously not with the 7,000 people that are here, I think.

But if you can get a bunch of friends together, make them watch this movie. Because I think it would have been a blast to watch in that context. Alone in my hotel room, less interesting. Hey, so can you clap if you did not see this movie? The balcony, of course. The balcony was like, I was drunk all day. Somebody Ubered me.

Somebody would BA Barak-ist me to this place. Woke me up and now I'm here to party. And if Manzookas comes to the balcony, I'm going to try and touch his legs. So many leg grabbers. Hey, I know you won't ask a question. Don't grab my legs. Just to put it in context, because I do think that this is kind of interesting, this was made in 1986, so the top three movies in...

85, right? 86 is what I got. Oh, oh, oh. Did you watch the wrong movie? Listen. Did you guys watch a different movie? We watched a different movie, but the exact same stuff happened. If there is some issues there, there are multiple reissues, so that may have been it.

But here it is. So the top three movies of 86 are Top Gun, Crocodile Dundee, and Platoon. So just to show where movie making was, and then this kind of just like, like just shot in there. And it's so much better than all of those. It's so shockingly much better than all three of those movies. It is. And by the way, if you want to put it in the pantheon of how to just get made movies,

it also falls in the middle of Cobra, Howard the Duck, Maximum Overdrive, The Wraith, and Solar Baby. It's a great year for how to just get made cinema. All of those movies... A movie that is the definition of gratuitous in every way. This is it. All right, everybody. Thank you, DC.

Thank you, Benson Ball. Thank you, Tig Notaro. Thank you, Stephanie Allen. Thank you for coming. Thank you for listening. Great work, balcony. We'll come back. Great work, DC.