How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Jingle All The Way (w/ Joe Mande)

Episode Date: December 25, 2023

That’s right, nothing says Christmas more than Arnold Schwarzenegger and this week comedian and writer Joe Mande (The Good Place, Hacks) joins Paul, Jason, and June to break down the best / worst holiday movie, Jingle All The Way. We’re not perverts, we’re just looking for a Turbo Man Doll! (Originally released 12/22/2011) This March & April HDTGM is going on tour to the UK & Ireland! Go to hdtgm.com for tix and info.For more Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerFollow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerCheck out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter  

Nothing says Christmas more than Arnold Schwarzenegger. That's right. We watched the best worst Christmas movie of all time. Where Arnold Schwarzenegger wants you to know one thing. I'm not a bulgur. I just was looking for turbo-man doll. That's right. We saw Jingle all the way so you know what that means. Now it's time for... Out of this country, we gonna have a good time celebrating failure Not just being hated, because you know you wonder How did this create?

Let's fall in the media Creature of some barrage Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question How did this get made? Hello people of Earth and welcome to How did this get made? The Holiday Edition I believe this is dropping the week of Christmas

So Merry Christmas to you Who celebrate Christmas and then happy holidays to those who don't. I am joined as always. You don't want to say happy Hanukkah? Well, Hanukkah is over. Oh, you're right, Hanukkah is over. Yeah, it's not. It's not, I thought it happened to early in the month. It's Wednesday's the start of this month.

Three days before Christmas. One, and it would just be nice to be with you. Guys, then happy Hanukkah. Take us and see your happy Hanukkah for you. Like we said, this is our holiday episode, so we've of course picked the holiday movie. It's Jingle All the Way. I'm joined as always by June and Jason. Hello.

How are you both? What's going on? And we have a very special guest you've already heard him. Joe Mandy is here. Welcome, Joe. All right, thank you. How are you? Happy Hanukkah.

Happy Hanukkah, indeed. Allkah. Happy Hanukkah indeed. Alright, jingle all the way. Wow, let's get into this movie. I never had seen this movie as a kid. I didn't either. And I am bummed that I've missed out years of things. I'm actually realizing that I haven't seen Arnold Schwarzenegger's acting really. Like I've never seen him on the screen.

This might be the best acting. It's the what? Are you serious? Well, I mean, I don't know. I really believed he was a terrible father. Right. Could that land it for you? I do love movies where Schwarzenegger

is just a normal guy. Like, there's no comment on the fact that he is this Austrian, massive Austrian. That's something nobody ever comments on the fact that he's Austrian. Yeah. And he has a crazy accent, but he's acting like the all-American dad,

which he is just not. You are my favorite customer. You are my favorite customer, I think. Well, so much so, and I'm sorry to jump to the end, but when there's another guy, Christmas Eve parade, who also has an Austrian accent, who has a little turbo man mask on like, nobody questions like, oh,

there's another guy in this small town. Yeah, who's enormous? Who has an Austrian? Yeah, who knows my? Who knows the sounds name Jamie? I Want to give the daughter Jamie and then he's like he knows my name not like my dad is turbo man We're switching it first of all right Guys, I'm so sorry guys That you feel as guilty. I know you want to skip to the end. Joe. I'm so sorry. Oh God. I ruined it. There's so many things here that I was confused about really what everything made so much sense first of all

Let's talk about Phil Artman's character. Yeah, who's introduced in the beginning is it clear that he's a divorce dad or that happened It's like 30 minutes late because he doesn't set them up? Well, they have that thing in the beginning where he's like all the women are like flirting with him and it's like insinuated that he's like banging all the wives when he's at the karate. It's not it's insinuated but he acts like a weirdo like asexual dude. Yeah, it's like why all these women keep talking to me and then he's got like their movie. He's in that sense. Yeah, exactly. And then it turns to switch and suddenly he's like like a sexier assaulting. Yes. No, you know what I'm realizing though, because

I was confused by that opening scene with the other women, but because his reaction he keeps on turning to Rita Wilson like I hate this. And now I'm realizing that that was actually the game he was playing with her. He felt that way all along about He is he's he's playing the long game. So many levels Typical for sex maniacs. It's also Also typical for real slow. Take it real slow. Also typical for anybody who wants to get in a Rita Wilson's fan So I do think Tom Hanks got there, right? I also do like played it long He lay and he waited and he then he pounced on Wilson. I just want to set up and this is a small note

It's a kids movie sure, but there are a couple things like the karate class is taking place at the local school Like it's not in a karate facility, but it's more of a karate recital. Yeah It really is a Christmas karate recital that happens the day before Christmas Eve, the big time. Also, there's so many things. There's such stupid. I mean, the old beginning of the movie is just a giant set up for the third act. It's like, it's like, there's like, oh, there's a big parade this afternoon. Oh, it's icy.

You better take care of those tires. Oh, I have a turbo man doll. It's underneath my tree. It's like every possible thing. And I have a reindeer. And I have a reindeer. Oh my God. Well, we. It's like every possible thing. And every reindeer. And I have a reindeer. Oh my God. Well, we can talk about it later, but suffice to say,

when Arnold Schwarzenegger punches the reindeer out and the reindeer says, ow. Yeah. That's moment. Is right about where I lost my mind. It's for me. He punches it out and the reindeer goes, ow. Well, there's also a part where it tries to pet the reindeer

and it snaps at him like a dog. Yeah. And then later when he comes outside and there's a reindeer charging him, he goes nice doggy. Yeah, nice doggy. It's a reindeer. Like that is. Where is this reindeer like being housed during the Christmas? Why is there a reindeer backyard?

In the backyard. Alright, so the whole premise of the movie is that Schwarzenegger is kind of a delinquent father. It seems that he has never been home is entire life. He's not a box. Well those box-brings aren't gonna sell themselves Is that what he's selling box-brings? And apparently he works with the world's largest mattress facility because they go to cut to his Christmas party where he's just working Burning the midnight oil selling box-brings it starts the same way as die-hard die hard which i think why he said i he read the first two pages like i'll do it and he is selling uh... he's selling box brings is not around for his kid

is kid wants to support and action doll and he's got to get the turbo man down now here's a thing that i didn't realize this movie was so horribly reviewed because they made terrible Man toys for Christmas. Oh, wow. So it was, most people, when you watch this movie, it was a giant commercial for a fictional thing

that they made. So it was like, yeah, it's about this cabbage patch, you know, transformer, whatever. But it was actually, they made the thing. They made the thing. God. This movie, I feel like this movie was, as if people like put a bunch of scene ideas onto cards,

spun them in like a lot of loop, and then pulled them out everyone and was like, okay, and the next scene is, he goes to a diner, his car runs out of gas. Next scene is Santa's workshop, corrupt con man, Santa's gang fight, Santa and intro. I've got to just disclaimer, I I just wanted to. I got on the board.

I got to just disclaimer. I grew up in St. Paul, Minnesota, where this movie takes place. And I remember them filming it. And it was a really big deal. Were you an extra at all? Or were you just not an extra, but I was at the Mall of America one day

when they were shooting the movie. So I saw Schwarzenegger's body double slide into the ball pit. What does Schwarzenegger's body double look like? Is pit. What does Schwarzenegger's body double look like? Is he as big as Schwarzenegger? I don't remember. Also, they shot the movie. I believe in April or May.

So everyone's wearing jackets and it was hot outside. Yeah, it's still. Well, this, I mean, so Schwarzenegger goes on it. What you could argue is the longest daylight day in human history I mean like is it night? Yeah, yeah, you know, you know, I don't notice these things But that day was so long like if the lighting outside never changed no like it didn't start off as morning It didn't change into mid-day and the way that he went around that city It seems I mean the the movie ends at a holiday parade that is in pure daylight

It's not an evening parade. There's no evening element to it. But there has been the equivalent of 40 hours of day because of what he's accomplished. He lives in the Alaskan part of Minna, Minna. But yeah, it was such a crazy thing. And then I mean, I also want to talk about the direction on this short singer in this whole movie is shot either from like a camera looking up into his face or really tight close-ups. So it looks like it's almost like bad 3D. So it's always like his face is like, oh.

Oh. I think a BBC critic says that Schwarzenegger has the comedic timing of a dead moose. Oh my God. There is like that face is always like, he's always getting hit by something making crazy faces It's sure it's clear. He has no concept of humor when he's like trying to be funny. Yeah, like it's it's so painful to watch and everyone's Improvising around him too. That's why I think this movie makes no sense at all. Simbad

Shokes a woman. Yeah, he chokes a woman. He not only does he choke a woman, but he gets beaten up at a toy store at one point And he yells Rodney King Rodney King and then again again gets Yeah, he yells that and then he gets punched again and he goes watch out be careful I've got sickle cells. So it's just like he was saying Like they just kept everything in well I said like I felt like every bit that he did in this movie were like Deleted bits from Sinbad standup. It was like this didn't make it in. It's not as funny as what his standup would be.

This is kind of like the beat cuts. I actually have a clip. It sounds like some makes no sense. Like at one point when he screams out, like I've seen the movie Vertigo. Yeah. Does that mean anything to you? Yeah, does that mean anything to you?

No. He really does. This is some of Sinbad's little standup. Here we go. You know it's all the ploy, don't think he, I don't know. He only says that. This is some of Simba's little standup, here we go. You know it's all the ploy, don't you? I'm ploy. May wherever you been, don't you watch TV? We are being set up by rich and powerful toy cocktails.

Oh, come on. No, you got these big fat cats sick they're using working class tears like me and you. They spend bands of dollars on TV advertisement and then they sit there and use subliminal measures to suck your children's minds out And I know what I'm talking about because I'm with the junior college for a semester and I study psychology So I'm right in there. I know what's going on and then they sit there making kids feel like garbage and you the father who's working

24-7 delivery mail so you make an Alomony payment to a woman that's not what everybody at the post office, but me And then when you get the toy it it breaks and you get fixing it, it looks cheap plastic. It seems like there's cadence of stand-up without any jokes to it. And this is where he starts to choke a woman. Apparently, his part was written for Joe Pesci, but they recast it at the last minute with Sinbad.

Well, that makes sense. Because Joe Pesci was too short next to Schwarzenegger. What makes Schwarzenegger crazy in a bad guy? What's so interesting about that is that Sinbad was originally cast in Goodfellas. And it's interesting, at the last minute, replaced him with Joe Pesci. I didn't know.

Just think of what that movie could have been. So movie is just like a giant soundboard. Like an R-Sword, the bigger soundboard too. So he's not kosher. I'm not a pub. Don't eat my cookies. Get your mother. It's like, they're the best things of all time.

Also, the whole movie revolves around him getting a turbo man doll and he's incapable of saying the word turbo. Yeah. It sounds like he's saying Tim Teebo. Like Teebo man T-Boh man. It also sort of felt like Sinbad never had a son. No, no, I felt that. That's her bow, that's her bow man doll.

Like that twist in plain trains and I'm gonna be able to John Candy's wife is the dad. Yeah, you don't see Sinbad's kid. Also, I mean, Sinbad is a bad dude. Besides choking a woman, he brings a bomb. It's a terrorist. It's like a homicide all like government work. The alcoholic ties up a parade worker, steals his costume, and gets into a fist fight, and Chase is a kid up with just, yeah, almost kills a kid.

He's the only black character except for the weird waiter in the diner. Oh, no, and the black family. Oh, that they. Who is not invited to the Christmas Eve parade. But they while they're saying grace. Yes, remember? The black family having grace as one orange words in a garish turbo man flies through

their living room. Destroyes their house. He destroys their house. Because that, you know what they were asking for. They were praying, you know. They should be at the Winter Taiment parade. Oh, the winter. So short. The Winter Taiment parade is so heavily produced too.

Oh my God, this is really. The Winter Taiment parade, at the end of the movie, Schwarzenegger somehow gets himself into the Turbo Man costume. And then proceeds, the Turbo Man costume in this movie works fully function. Like it has jet packs that can fly you into outer space, almost.

Projectile discs. Projectile discs, boomerangs that work. Everything on this costume works. If this worked, people would be wearing it. Soldiers would be bringing this into battle the way that they had this. Absolutely. I loved, and we've not spoken yet about the Jim Belushi.

That's part of the movie. That guy who plays the elf, I feel like if we IMDbeat him, has been like, I've seen this elf. He was a Zinfeld elf in 700 bands. Yeah, I did appreciate though, there was one little person in that sequence who was stressed as a sound. Yeah, a little Santa.

A little Santa. And I believe, I did not check this out, but Vern Troier was one of the extra, yeah. You were gonna get punched and flies. This underground workshop was where they were selling toys on the blackboard. Stooling, right? Okay, yes.

Why did they need to? Yeah, this is a story of a cartel. Why were they all in costumes? Who? Okay, all right, just have to ask. And the women, the women were in like santa's help or like a lot of costumes like as if they were from the north pole so pollution explaining this yeah he goes to the mall america we don't need to

explain that what i'm talking about well okay sorry i don't know no no please do uh... he goes to the mall of america to to enter a lottery to get one of the last term mandals in the state. And the way the lottery works, everyone gets bouncy balls, like super balls. Yes, super balls. Super balls. Yeah, totally normal. And then the workers are overwhelmed

at one point and they throw. Chris Parno. Throw us out. Oh, that's the reason we use the first one. This is the different one. Oh, right, you're right. They throw all these bouncy balls onto the air.

And so yeah, so then he doesn't get a bouncy ball and dejected walks around the mall of america bumps into jimbalu she as a Santa Claus a degenerate san a good to generate sanahoe by the way the balance of when he's searching for that bouncer ball that's probably about a ten minutes yeah literally ten minute action chasing that that is an action sequence where he is chasing a yellow ball around the mall Some of which involves just and you know, we're saying action sequence

But part of it is him riding in an elevator. Yes, you know, it's an action sequence. It's like Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum to the fur like so so slow there are a number of long walking the lego land yes there are a number of montages i wrote nothing happened in this month uh... uh... uh... uh... with the this is also he also uh... simbat another fault of

simbat sprays on a short sneaker in the face with mace he's like oh mace short sneaker also gets taser did this move in the ass in the ass that elf ters him in the ass.

And dog piled. Yeah, in the lousy. Dog piled with, okay, sorry, go ahead. So then he talks, Jim Belushi says, like I have black market toys. If you want, if you want. I have a turban man. So then they go to this warehouse near the Mississippi River.

And when they walk in, everyone is dressed as Santa's and Santa's helpers. And they're making toys. Now, the idea of it, I guess in my mind, is that they have toys that no one can get. But all the toys that are in production are like big blue bear. You win at a carnival.

Yeah. I'm actually realizing, though, I think I do understand now why they're in costume. I think we're two. I think we're not understand that these are all the workers from malls. Yeah, right. Okay, see I didn't even understand. But why are they pulling double shifts?

I mean, are they? Because I'll tell you why they know. Why are you costumes? Yeah. You guys, they don't have time to change out of them. So don't worry about that. But they know what toys are the hottest toys of the year. Sure.

And that's why they know what toys are the hottest toys of the year. Sure. And that's why they're trying to make it a surprise. And it comes into play in a second. One of the toys they're making and selling on the black market are fake badges because every kid wants a fake badge for Christmas. But anyway, it's unbelievable. It's believable enough that when the cops show up, Schwarzenegger can use the fake page in order to claim that he's an undercover police detective Who's been working on this case right three years? I mean like what are you doing you guys?

This is the worst you have ruined my Can ruin my guess you bet the rest so much. Why doesn't anybody like where are you from? Who are you? You are yes, and what and what? And what kind of case did they ruin? They busted the entire ruin. Yeah. One stop shopping. They didn't ruin anything. And anyway, at this point, they're a furiously making toys.

It must be like 4 p.m. Yeah. I don't even know. I don't even know. It seems like Turbo Man is the only toy that they should be making. But no, the blue bears are just as hot. I also want to point out that, like, short-term is like, I won't hit a Santa. Why?

This guy is a scumbag who just stole $300 for you by selling you a fake turbo man toy. He has a bleeding heart, though. He also gives sin bad about like 15 chances after he's maced him and done. Yeah, there's a difficult message in this movie for, like, if you're a, I would think, if you're a kid watching it like it's a kids movie

Like the Santas are constantly being revealed to not really be Santa They're being beaten up like there's like a real like Honesty about the fraudulent nature of Christmas. Yeah, which I'm like which I can't be like How is this a kids movie like they're revealing stuff that kids would be like wait a minute? I feel like yeah Well, I think I think that out there guys well you didn't know when you were little that the Santa's at the mall weren't actually Santa oh I thought it was Santa yeah me too okay did you not think that no I thought that they I'd never thought that those guys were actually Santa oh wow how jaded you yeah I do love that short fingers like I won't hit a, but I will pull his beard back far enough

that when it stops it in the face, it will make him do a double over flip. Like, what kind of a last dick is this? Again, it's like, if borders on like, slapsticky kid movie, and then it gets like oddly adult in parts. It goes back and forth. We didn't talk about, in that same scene,

you were just talking about. When he's fighting, when the gang, when the Santa's all fight shorts in it, and it turns into like a fight sequence. Yeah. There is a Santa who has candy cane nunchucks and is an ninja. And is old. I just wrote an ninja Santa down because that was too stupid. Well, because just in case,

and just in case someone did cost trouble, they had candy cane nunchucks. And I feel like such a hot toy on Christmas Eve. They have to make to make them trucks out of candy. I feel like the director at some point pulled Jim Bullys you decide was like listen This scene is gonna be pretty iconic in this movie I want to like push in on you at one point I want you to just like your brother said food fight. I want you to say dog pie. It is exactly The same camera movement and it's the same dog pile you know like it's crazy it's in his food fight it is identical so meanwhile short-singered running out trying

to get the turbo man to a and having all of his trials and tribulations at home Phil Hartman is making the moves on his wife Rita Wilson who on short-signered white oh yeah short-signered wife and short-signered calls up and this is a little Phil Hartman is making the moves on his wife Rita Wilson who... On Schwarzenegger's wife. Oh yeah Schwarzenegger's wife and Schwarzenegger calls up and this is a little interaction between Schwarzenegger and Phil Hartman which has the classic cookies line. Ted, I need to speak to Liz. Could you get... Oh, excuse me, but your wife's cookies are out of this world.

Who told you you can eat my cookies? I'm just not gonna let Lilla in the kitchen. Just making up the star, man. Mmm, oh, there's cookies. I gotta get the recipe from Liv's. What the cookie down? No! Um, so Phil Hartman really improvising up the storm.

He's funny in it, but also somethings make no sense. Like when he's like, oh, there's cookies. I don't understand what that is trying to get at that he's eating his cropping. Sourcineger? Yeah. Because there's a part at the end where Rita Wilson's very mad at Sourcineger for literally coming as close

as he can to burning down Phil Hartman's house. Like really? We're like lighting the house on fire. And then Phil Hartman is like, I'm gonna go drive your wife to the parade. You're not allowed. And then he turns around turns around goes you can't bench press your way out of this one So that's the only that's the only reference to him being a bodybuilder in the movie I feel like it's at a certain point in this movie. I kept waiting for him to be like oh wait a minute No, I'm a robot and I get I thought this was my life. It's been a program. I am turbo

I am turbo like like, the movie he belonged, he did not belong in this world so clearly. Sir. It was insanity. Everywhere he went, every person, when he's talking to Martin Mall and Martin Mall, he was like, oh, 911, 911, and he was like, I want the dog, I want the dog.

And he also, he rent, the radio station is running a promotion. They have the last Turbo Man, Dell, and they want you to name all the seven reindeer. And Schwarzenegger tries to call, but he can't get through. So he decides to run to the radio station. But because that will work.

That'll be faster than finding another phone. Yeah. Well, it's only two blocks away, thank God. Thank God. He runs to the radio station, the entire way with Symbad, reciting all the seven reindeer, as if letting Symbad in on the yeah

Symbad could clearly steal it, but Symbad has a plan which is bringing a bomb to the radio station Which actually he doesn't think it's a bomb, but it actually turns out to be a bomb Not that one, not that package. Yeah, yeah, oh, let's get second package What I couldn't think you're a bomb the one that blows up the police. Yes The one that blows up the radio workers was a fake bomb. The one that blows up the police real bomb. What I couldn't figure out is they were running the two blocks from the diner to the radio station.

And so slowly, I feel like the director was like, hey, you guys are running too fast. The camera can't keep up with you. So can you like look like you're running fast but like be running really slow. We can't follow. So they're like really high, and it's really weird. Meanwhile, SinBet is inexplicably emptying his mail bag

of mail, just throwing mail onto the graph. He's trying to lighten his loads. We can run faster. It's not working. It was. But he's not lighting it with packages. He's lighting it with a small envelope. Yeah, or maybe he was just trying to find that bomb.

Oh. So the cops get blown up, but that's not that cop gets blown up. The same cop. Is that actually a state trooper, you guys? A state trooper for the Twin Cities. Twin Cities police. Twin Cities police.

You're really into this. I watched it closely. That's another person that's constantly chasing Schwarzenegger, the state trooper, first to give him a ticket, then Schwarzenegger runs over his motorcycle, and then Schwarzenegger blows him up, and then Schwarzenegger runs over his motorcycle, and then Schwarzenegger blows him up, and then Schwarzenegger drops hot coffee on him.

Scalding hot coffee. Yeah, at a... And by the way, he's carrying, like, he's been really, like, badly, badly injured. Well, because he was blown up by a bomb, but the bomb, fortunately, had loony-tune quality. Right, it was an acme bomb. Yes, it just stained his face, like, you know, like, just black. His hands are completely bandaged.

And so when Schwarzenegger's running right by him right before the Christmas Eve parade, he's carrying a tray of like seven coffee. Yes. Yes. We've only known him as like a loner in this movie, but something. But he's like,

he's got his longest day ever. Well, yes, stay. But you would have to offer him. I don't know if you saw this, because the whole, the whole movie's climax takes place at the parade. And the parade, there is a cop float. Yes, that is on the queen of the cop float.

I mean, in the cop float. I didn't notice that. And there's also a giant trampoline on the cop float. Yeah, that's the cop. We're one cop is doing like flips on it. Which is like, Why not? It's Christmassy.

So break the cop's in the winter j entertainment break because all kids want to look at the cop float. But also with the cop back or back. It was like, it was like iced tea came in to help write the parts of the movie because it's so anti cop the whole way. Oh, yeah. The cops are just getting hurt and blown up. Neither they're just a nuisance.

The cops are just getting in the way of him getting his toy. But now the good, the luck all comes together which works and it is but running away from a cop trying to hide from the mistaken as the actor that is supposed to play terboman in the parade because he's a giant austrian bodybuilder now i also don't know if they're trying to hide the fact that he's going to be terboman but he's so clear

the camera's trying to do it very cleverly like what what he's saying is clear he's saying what they mean but he clearly is getting into the turbo man costume there's the and uh... and booger from revenge of the nerds is uh... is playing his partner in the uh... i like to think of him as uh... agnispestus boyfriend and my booster booster he's playing booster the dog that everyone hates from the triple band tv show why does everyone hate them

that that also seem no reason that dog didn't seem to be your kid would be happy with a booster doll yeah just wait a week and get a turbo mandal yeah yeah people hate it so i think that legend that so uh... then the whole finale takes place at this parade this is becomes a

but there's nothing christmassy about this parade. No, it's a winter, it's a winter team. It's when I'm trying to back to the way that I get my greeting winter is just all about Sonic the Hedgehog. Yeah, rock. Rock. I can't remember.

And I can't. It's bad. It's all. Yep. And wait, what did they high five about? It was it was a Snoopy or something else. The two kids high five. Oh, yeah, what did they high five about? Oh man. Oh, cat in the hat. Cat in the hat.

High five. Well also, like I think that they gave like, like Rita Wilson's like, they see the Turbo Man float. You talking about this, when Rita Wilson just laughs? Rita Wilson, when the Turbo Man float is revealed, everybody's so excited. I felt like the direction in this movie was just like, extras just laugh.

Like everybody just just please start laughing Rita Wilson laughs so hard when she sees that your romance float come out. There's something funny about it She's not recognizing her husband. She's just going oh That's so funny. She's just remembering that her husband almost burned down her neighbor's house and then she just left She's like in her mind right you're Rita Wilson, and in your character's mind, your marriage is over. Your husband is a maniac. And your child's not getting the one thing

that he wants for Miss Turbo Manor. And you are wet in your pants for Phil Hartman. Well, no, she turns down the harbor. She hits him in the head with a thermos. Yeah. There's a lot of women in this movie like hitting men with like purses and thermoses. Oh man, so they're on this float.

The fight scene gets crazy. It's Schwarzenegger. He has a lot of the pick one. The kid from the audience to give the turbo man. So I do great convenience there. He picks his son, the son gets it. And then all the time. Jamie, Jamie.

The sim bad has now kidnapped another man. Turbo man knows my name! And no one recognizes him! The constant for Turbo Man by the way, is not like a Batman cow. He's just a silly worrisome gossess. Yeah, he's basically wearing like... Oakley's over, yeah.

Like, Oakley Oakley's, that is it. He looks just like Schwarzenegger. You mean Annie Oakley's dad? Oakley Oakley? Oakley Oakley. I was ugly ugly so basically sim bad is kidnapped another member of the parade there's a giant fight scene where then sim dad goes off and starts chasing shorts and figures kid up a building onto a like I don't even know like a Christmas tree that then um breaks the end of the building yeah Christmas tree at the

top of building that then breaks from the combined weight of Sinbad and this kid. They're hanging loose 50 feet or 50 stories about it. It's like, is this part of the show? Why does Sinbad have to dress up like the villain of turbo man? Why can't he just in his postman's outfit? Try and get the right because the cops will probably stop on that. This point they're going to think before the show. Oh, I guess. So and that it was. Try and get right because the cops will probably stop them at this point They're gonna think you need to think these are the judges

I guess so and that it was I One thing I wasn't embarrassed about a genuine laugh that came out of my mouth Symbad kept calling turbo man turtle man I laughed at my genuine laugh came out of the fact when Symbad is running through the parade He's trying to get away because he's stolen the Turbo Mandel from a child. And he pushes a dancing person in the parade who's dressed like a box, he says, I don't know what way box.

That's great. That's great. The box later saved his life. It did save his life. You know what I would love to do a shot for shot remake, or an almost shot for shot remake of this movie, focusing on Sinbad's character as like a what about Bob? Kind of I love this idea that he has no children.

He's an alcoholic person who has decided that today he's going to commit suicide after getting this doll. No, he's killed his actual, I think he's like a suicide by cop type. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just trying to end it. There is a dark, dark movie here if it's focused on Sinbad's character. You cut to his house, he's stuffed, his entire family, yeah, he's just trying to end there is a dark dark movie here if it's focused

Best you cut to his house these stuff to his entire family there He's always with people's mail Oh, man, and then I guess the moral of the whole movie is You don't need a toy when you have the real thing is that the moral is you don't need this little toy When you have a bigger toy that's real yeah because basically like Jamie our short-singers kicked it and it gives the toy to sim bad sim bad isn't gonna take it to his kid and he goes but Jamie I thought you love this toy and he said Jamie still doesn't really wait does he really just never

real yeah he never realized I guess it doesn't he does because he tells him I think he only only after he says on your father He goes like dad why would I want the toy when I have the real turbo man at home? That's it. That's the moral the kid I mean the the Christmas message is that he has the doll the whole movie is trying to get the kid the doll and he gives the doll to sinbed to give to his unseen child who does it to send back yeah gives it to send bad and that's it at the end he's gonna bring that doll to jail he's going to jail he's going to jail he blew up a radio station

he blew up policemen he's a joke to woman mace the guy and also this is the only Christmas movie I remember that never shows Christmas. You never see Christmas morning. You never see Christmas morning. You don't even see Christmas even night. It just ends in the afternoon of Christmas.

Yeah. Oh man. And you know, this is something interesting. I wanted to bring this one thing up here, which is in 1998, this film was sued because someone said that they stole the entire script. The script had 36 similarities to another script that was submitted and basically they were found guilty. The people who made the movie were found guilty.

Still in the idea in order to pay 19 million dollars. Was it a hit? It was a hit it was a hit And so but as they want that lost so Andy cornfield This is like basically a high school teacher wrote this movie and then that makes sense and then Murray Hill president Bob rural got sued anyway. He got paid 19 million dollars as since it was awarded the guy died Right before right before he got the night me the guy the original writer of the script got $19 million, he just died. And then in 2004, this movie was in 1994, right? In 2004, they finally overturned it, and then no money got paid out to anybody.

Oh wow. 36 similarities in there, but. I, when I was, I think in eighth grade, when this movie came out, I went to Italy with my family, and it was playing in Italy, but Jingle all the way doesn't mean anything. Right. What they call it. I was, I don't know, Christmas ravioli. I don't know. I just remember being like, it

meant nothing. And I just wish, I wish I could have seen that in Italy. Oh, look, people must think. What does this sound on the end anyway? Jingle all the way home. You know, obviously we didn't like the movie, but there are some people who really love the movie, so here's a chance for a second opinion. These are reviews called on Amazon of people that really love the movie. Arnie Fan wrote,

I think the reason why people do not like this movie is that it hits too close to home. Yeah. This is for, this is a movie for people who can laugh at their problems. All right, and parents, people whose parents let them down, to close to home. Yeah. This is a movie for people who can laugh at their problems. All right, and parents, people whose parents let them down and people who let their kids down do not like this movie.

Cause like I said, it's too close to home. Ouch, five stars. Wow, that person nailed it. Kirby Wallace writes, people don't like this movie, probably cause they didn't watch it to the end. Mm-hmm. So you turn it off and say, you're like, oh, you know what,

I didn't like this movie. Did you get to the parade? Because that's where it really gets good. Because it goes, it's not about materialism and purchase loyalties. It's about Christmas is not about materialism. So that is Kirby Wallace again, ain't it? It's like, the sun is not passing on the lessons

that Arnold has learned at all. There is no Christmas Eve's. Are you talking about his son in real life that he has? Yeah. Schwarzenegger, I did see an interview with Schwarzenegger where he goes that this is true to him because he does a lot of Christmas Eve shopping. So he knows what's going on.

Yeah, I'm sure Chris, he's out in the malls. I do want to say there was one thing, my illegitimate, my illegitimate children. There was one thing I did, I just want to hit on it before we go. The kid at one point gets into a fight, gets into a fight with Schwarzenegger on the phone. It goes just like Turbo Man says,

keep your promises if you want to keep your friends. When would Turbo Man ever say that in the Turbo Man show? Keep your promises if you want to keep your friends? I, you know, and now that ever say that in the turban show keep your promise if you want to keep your friends i'm i you know i know that you say that that they that they manufacture the dolls and stuff i bet they were gonna do like a turban tv show like power rangers they said that they that the movie was rush so much that couldn't produce as many toys as they wanted or needed to get it out for christmas so it was just a giant ad um so I think that wraps it up for Jingle all the way.

Any thoughts, anything that we didn't talk about, anything that cares to be mentioned? I hated this movie. Okay. This movie ruined Christmas. This, the ending of this I'm realizing is a lot like old dogs. By the way, it's exactly like old dogs. I thought the same thing when it was a jet pack. I was like, oh jet pack bad dad. Bad dad needs to rescue his kid with a jet pack. This is old dogs. By the way, when he was rescuing the kid in the jet pack, like we've already seen him, the kid's dang,

Jimmy's dangling off like two-story building. For a reason. Yeah, we're a really long time. And our- Oh, much like the kid in the tree in Superman's tank. There's a lot of questions. And Arnold is having so much trouble with that jet pack. When when he's in trouble, he loses control

and is suddenly in Minneapolis. Yeah, it's in Minneapolis and then comes back to St. Paul. Right, but I was like, what you're saying? The movie also has 15 miles away. Yeah, this movie has no difference between those two cities. They're the same thing. They're the same police scores. By the way, I love my dad. He is amazing. But I would never want to see my dad in a jet pack.

That is not a fantasy. But these Hollywood movies are like, put the dad in a jet pack. Kids really want their dads to these Hollywood movies are like, put the dad and the jet pack. Kids really want their dads to be fine. I also felt like Jamie was gonna be safer just dropping off the building than having Arnold grab him in that jet pack. Yeah, I think falling to his death

is actually a better gift than getting a turbo man from his insane father. Well, that about wraps it up for how did this get made. Thank you to Joe Mandy, who has one of my favorite Twitter accounts at Joe Mandy. You can of course follow June and I at June Diane and at Paul Sheer. Jason, you do not have a Twitter account. I want to thank everybody here at Ear Wolf for putting out this amazing holiday episode so quickly for you. And as always, if you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes. We'll see you

in the new year unless you're listening in the new year. Then we're seeing you now. Watching you every step.