How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Kazaam LIVE! (w/ Kay Cannon)

Episode Date: April 29, 2024

Kay Cannon (Pitch Perfect, 30 Rock) escapes her magical boombox to join Paul, Jason, and June in discussing the only movie that features Shaq as a rapping genie, 1996's Kazaam. They cover Max falling through an extraordinary amount of stairs, calling Jesus a genie, Kazaam causing the Mount Vesuvius eruption, and so much more. Plus, the HDTGM hosts reveal their spooning preferences. (Originally Released 01/08/2016) Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, and more.Pre-Order Paul’s book about his childhood, Joyful Recollections of Trauma, wherever books are soldFor extra Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerHDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerFollow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/Check out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter

I have a wish that Shaquille O'Neal never acts again. We saw Kazam, so you know what that means. Stone vest while ripping Justin to Kelly Or maybe see a burlesque show with Nick Crowe And take a boat with speed to hitting cruise control J-Man, Big Paul and the beautiful June Gonna take you from the goob all the way to the room Rander games and street fighter hope to blow off steam Just a sucker punch the odd life of Timothy Green Shock needle to birdemic how we stayin' alive They call it in the badass and he's on the line

Cranking 88 minutes cause they cool as ice Cause the bad Jim Barney looking kind of nice Paul and June getting literal Jason is getting laid June is making sure all the monkey shots getting paid They judge a bunch of movies while they making the grade Here's a real question for you How did this get made? Hello people of Earth and, people of Largo! We are live at Largo at the Coronet, our home for live shows in Los Angeles with a very

exciting night. That's right, Shaquille O'Neal as a genie. The movie is called Kazam, and please welcome my two co-hosts to the stage. Please welcome Jason Manzoukas! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

Merry Christmas, assholes! Also welcome June Diane Raphael! Whoo! Whoo! June! June! June! June! June! June!

June! June! June! June! June! June! June! June!

June! June! June! June! June! June! June! June! June! June! June! June! All right. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go now. Kazam.

Kazam. I will say that this is a movie that I saw the DVD of, like the box, the cover of a million times, never thought to watch it. And so happy that I did. Why? Why wouldn't you watch this movie? What would keep you, one thing that would keep you from watching this Genie movie starring Shaquille O'Neal?

I think I thought it would be too real. I couldn't handle the truth. I didn't wanna get into the whole Genie gin argument. I didn't wanna go down, I mean, it's too much. You know the minute you start the movie, that can of worms is open. It makes you question a lot of different things. This movie is amazing because it's so,

I mean we'll talk about the whole thing, but it's on every level. I mean I said we can barely get, I mean with 24 hours we wouldn't get through the whole thing. There's so much to talk about. I was asked to watch it for tonight and it was a complete joy. It was the best homework assignment

I've ever had in my life. Well, just so people know, the movie starts off with this kid who seems like a total asshole and like a bad ass bully. And then within a second of establishing that he's a bad ass bully, then other bullies are beating the shit out of him.

Yeah. And there's a lot of bullies going on. This movie exists in a world where bullies have bullies. This kid is Max, is the most unlikable kid character I've ever seen. I would say, and I don't mean, I mean he's older now, I don't know, but charmless is a word that would come to mind. Like he, like I mean he's written that way. He's a lovely child, but there's nothing, there's nothing about him that I'm engaging with. I have to say, I'm shocked to hear this. I'm really shocked because I cared for Max.

And once I found out in the apartment scene that he was struggling with his stepfather and his stepfather's arrival in the family, I understood everything about him. This kid's dad's been gone for decades. Ten years! Ten years! He doesn't remember him. And then he's got the nicest fireman, soon to be stepdad.

The best. I'll say this, Travis is a saint. He's a goddamn saint. Travis is a saint. All he's doing is eating spoonful after spoonful of shit from this Max. It's all he's doing. He's just cramming it down his tongue.

He's like, don't you worry, I'm gonna be here when you're ready. Literally, Max goes out, stays out all night, and Travis is like, let's get him a baseball. Yeah. By the way, Max just... Let's take care of him. So we're clear, Max is 12.

We're not talking about like a troubled 16 year old. This is a 12 year old child. I don't want to get too far ahead, but also Max, I don't, it's unclear how long Kazam is around. Yes, 100%. But Max does not shower or brush his teeth or change his clothes for the entirety of the movie. I will say, yes, you're right.

But then he has, he takes objection with how Kazam smells. I know! Leading to one of the most upsetting scenes in the movie. Oh, my God. In which a grown genie showers in front of a boy. What? What are we doing here?

With a giant scrub brush. I don't know who this movie's for. Well, it is a children's movie where, I mean, I will say that there, it's a racist overtone or undertone under it, too, with Mack, well, first of all, he stumbles into a genie. We should salvage that. Well, running away from his bullies,

he finds the genie's lamp, which is a boombox. Because he fell out of the lamp into the boombox. Which I didn't even understand. That I didn't really understand. So he was in a lamp originally. Yeah, and then when the wrecking ball comes in, you hear... On the fifth floor lamp shop.

You hear Kazam go, whoa! Which made me go, like, what's going on in the life of a genie's lamp? Is he, like, in an apartment in there? Okay, but this is a really, honestly, this is a really big question. Okay, hang on. We will come to know, this is a very serious question. We'll come to find out that Shaq wants a career as a performer, specifically a rap artist.

Do you think that while in the in the regular lamp he always felt that way or was it something about being transported to that boom box? That's a good question. I don't know. I don't know. Because does rap go back 5,000 years? If rap is poetry then the answer is yes. I would argue that he's not even really rapping. So he comes out, I will say, he comes out speaking in like rhyming couplets. Well, let's show, let's show how Kazam. Let's show how Kazam kind of. What June is correct in referring to as standard genie talk.

Yeah. Well, but the genie talk comes and goes. Oh, yeah. There's a lot that comes and goes. Right away, thank God. There's a lot. Thank God. For the first two minutes,

he's speaking in rhyming couplets, and I was like, I'm gonna have to kill myself. There's no getting out of this. If he talks like this for the whole movie, I will straight up murder my own self. All I know is at this point I'm like, this screenplay was written in all caps lock.

Because it's nothing but screaming. This movie is meant to be screamed. Just take a look, we don't have to watch the whole scene, but you just get a sense of how Shaq Pop. I'll dish out my misery. Now, who's that sorry wannabe that disturbed my zeal? If you wanna be number one, I'm sorry boy, that's been done. But if you got the itches for a sack of riches, don't matter how avaricious,

I'm the man that can grant your wishes. So you get the idea. Hey, don't turn your butt on me. I'm the man of the ages. It does not stop for so much longer than even that. What's interesting in watching his arrival is that throughout the entire movie, I was wondering, you know, there's this issue of does he want to be a genie? Does he hate being a genie? Does he want to grant wishes? It seems like he hate being a genie? Does he want to grant wishes? It seems like he's a self-hating genie.

Like he doesn't, and he's so angry. Yeah. Like you're not, you're definitely, I wasn't tracking his emotional. Well, no. I think. I was like, he's like, you've gotta make, well first it's like he says three wishes,

Max wishes for a car. He's, you know, unable to do it. Arrested, not able to do it. And then he's like, you gotta make your wishes real quick. Well basically though what he says is, by summoning the genie, the genie basically becomes your slave. So I don't think anybody wants to be put in that position.

So the quicker we get this out of the way, the quicker I get back to kicking back in the bottle. AKA the boom box. The boom to kicking back in the bottle, aka the boombox, or in my mind, all genie understanding is the inside of the genie bottle from my dream of genie. Which seems spacious on that show too. Oh, beautiful. But then later on, later on when they're in the basketball court, he says that he doesn't

want to be a genie and then he wants to get out of it. Well now he's gotten bitten by the bug. Oh, I see. Because he wants to be a gen. Now he wants showbiz. I could not stop thinking about when you're just like hearing him rap the whole time or whatever he was doing right there. But I was like, this is around the same time that I think Shaquille had released his rap album, right? It came out, yes. So he honestly thought I think that that he was gonna bodyguard this,

like Whitney Houston style, and be like, look at how great I rap. 100%, cause there's two rap songs in this film that are very specific to Genie's. Like if the audience might be like, I think this dude's a Genie, because he's rapping a lot about Genie specific things. All of his references are from 3000 years ago.

But he's not a good genie right out the gate. Or a good rapper. Like what he just did might as well have been written by Ronnie the limo driver from the Howard Stern Show. You know what I mean? Like the part especially where we get more Z's, who disturbed my Zs, is the comparison I'm making. Don't worry about it.

Stern fans get it. I do find you charming. Look, I think that Shaq is a lovely guy. But he, but I honestly didn't know, like I felt like he didn't seem to have any care for this kid. Like, I'd say like he did, like to have any care for this kid. Like I'd say like it did, like, and then they, like at the end we'll get to the end,

but it's like, oh yeah, I loved him. And then I had a whole thing. I was like, wait, I never got that. Like I never- He was my only friend. Yeah, like I never got, like, he was like, I'm looking out for this kid. I'm going to help him out.

No, that's not true. I feel like during Wish 1 and a little bit past, when he's kind of like, how can you let these kids treat you like that, or blah, blah, blah. He's trying to get into it. And I think what the movie is trying to sell us is that the Shaxx own,

the hubris of Shaxx thinking, I could become a rap superstar. It makes him veer off course, which is to help Max fulfill his wishes. And as a result, Max dies. Ha ha ha! Yeah. The lead child...

As a result, the child star of the movie... Dies. Dies. After, after, I believe it's the second time he's been pushed down a giant hole. Yeah. Yeah. Multiple times, this child falls upwards of five stories.

One falling through floor by floor by floor, floorboards, everything. And one just an elevator shaft at the end of which he meets his end. Yeah. For those of you listening it's's not fulfilling, but we're just playing the game, falling through the floor on repeat, which is even funnier. This is a child. This is a child doing this in this movie. I think what the director is trying to do is show that he is the ultimate tough guy. Yeah.

And Kazam tells us many times over that he is a tough guy. Oh yeah. Kazam is not to be reckoned with. Yeah, so Kazam also winds up sleeping and spooning this kid too, right? Yep. And in the bed, yeah. But at that point, I felt like it was like really huge guy with little kid and they were trying to just show as many possible ways to show a big guy with a little kid.

Because there's a really weird shot of just his hand on his face. And it was just like, oh, this will make audiences laugh because his whole hand is on this kid's face. He can bomb his face like a basketball. Like, I also noticed I think he could have done that anywhere. He could have bombed the kid's face anywhere. It did not have to be sharing a twin size bed. Just saying. But then you wouldn't have seen how big Shaquille is in a twin size bed.

That is true. I do have a question at the top here too. When the kid first brings Shaquille O'Neal to his hangout, is it just like a junkyard playground or like where the candy comes? Like when, yeah, it's like a weird junkyard or something like that. It's like a, yeah. Sorry.

Wasn't that the same place though where the, where the genie lamp was? Different movie, different movie. Isn't that the same place where they built this steel suit? Different movie. Right? Different movie. It's the next movie that has an almost identical plot space.

By the way, you said you had a theory about the candy. Well, I have an issue about the candy because, okay, so he wishes for junk food to this guy, right? And then it's like, you see burgers and whatever, and then ultimately there's tons of junk food, and then like, there's piles of pancakes, right? Or whatever. And then afterwards, I have so many problems with Kazam's magic abilities or like, genie abilities,

and then afterwards he's like, I'm hungry. Kazam says this. It's like, well you just left And then afterwards, he's like, I'm hungry. Kazam says this. It's like, well, you just left an entire thing of food. And he's like, really a big deal about how hungry he is. And he's like, let's stop for lunch. And he's wearing clothes where they somehow found shorts as big, too big for Shaquille O'Neal. Well, Shaquille O'Neal's clothing

is upsetting on so many levels. He wears a collar. There's lapels that are going like 18 inches. And then there's this really long shot of his shorts falling off him. It's like, oh, you found... Why don't they fit? Yeah. At that point, you're making a kitchen tablecloth.

I mean, Shaquille's size, his shoe is 22. So that's saying that there's someone larger than Shaquille O'Neal that they're making a kitchen tablecloth. I mean, there's like, like Shaquille's size, his shoe is 22. So if he like, that's saying that there's someone larger than Shaquille O'Neal that they're making shorts for? No. And they found those shorts. They found a shirt that fit great. Yeah, exactly, yeah. The shirt would have fit.

I've realized who I think the kid is. It's as if they made, as the protagonist of a movie, the little brother from Teen Witch, ooh, is a real piece of shit. And then, like, she tricks him and he's like, I took the liberty of ironing your homework. We're gonna do Teen Witch. I love that movie. I have never even heard of this movie.

Holy shit. We're gonna do Teen Witch for Top That alone. Oh, I do remember Top That. June, I feel like you would have thoughts on Teen Witch. I don't remember the brother on Teen Witch, but I do remember Top That. Of course. Who doesn't remember Top That?

Of course. The greatest rap battle. I need to get on some Teen Witch. I thought at certain points that this kid also acted like he could have been played by a 60-year-old man, too. Because when he first met his mom, I'm like, is this his mother or his wife? He's like, ah, leave me alone, woman. You don't know what I go through. Give me my cigar and my newspaper.

I'm going to take a shit. Like, it's just like there was an energy there cigar and my newspaper, I'm gonna take a shit. Like it just like there was an energy. Yeah, also that mom was in a totally different movie. Like she was like, Max, come on Max, Max, Max. Come back Max. That's why we were married. And by the way, this director who was,

you pointed out. Starsky. From Starsky and Hutch. Like I think they were so psyched about this opening shot of the mom, which was through the vacuum cleaner. Like the mom is like staring down the barrel of a vacuum cleaner, it's like, ooh, cool shot, Kazam. But yeah, the whole mom relationship is crazy. And it's, well, I mean, we didn't get to the dad.

The dad. Everybody just gave up. Wow. The dad is Everybody just gave up. Wow. The dad is like... So the movie exists in a world in which like the... It's the kid, it's his single mom, they're having a tough time, she's falling in love with a fireman who the kid gives the... Like a hard time to, Kazam shows up and then the kid finds his dad who is like a villain in a different movie.

Okay, so what I want to know is you had- His dad is a villain. If you had to say, okay, the title of the dad's job is. Okay, I think the dad is- Is a? Club runner, club owner. I think he's the front for a, like a bad news businessman.

For all those bootleg CDs. Yeah, he's the front man of the club that is the front for the CD manufacturing, counterfeit CD. No? What do we think? So Max comes in. I don't know. Max comes in to his club, right? And so they're not divorced

because there's like some paperwork that hasn't been signed. Ten year old paperwork. But like I'm assuming the mom has talked to the dad about it and the kid comes in and his dad looks at him and he's like, what's your name? And he's like, Max. And there's no recollection.

No. Until the second time he says, Connor. And then he's like, that's my kid. And we're supposed to think like he's a dick to the kid, but when he finds out he's his son, he's like really cool to him. He's like, oh, is that acceptable? That like, he's just, oh, he's only a dick to kids

he doesn't know. But like it was- That's the weird thing about the movie. You have no idea whether or not you should care about this dad and his rehabilitation. Yeah, I think it's a redemption story for him, if anything. Right, but I- Because the dad is a piece of garbage.

Yeah. But is he? Well, he's real mean to his assistant. Oh yeah, what was that guy that he was gonna- What does that guy do? It seemed to me, I'll tell you this is what it seemed like to me, it seemed like there's the owner of the club, the guy who's eating newbie and go-dice. A lot.

And then that guy, I love that guy. Then I feel like- Didn't it all, don't you feel like that guy was maybe also 3000 years old? Yes. Yes. Halfway through the movie I was like, he's a genie too. He's a gen, I thought he was a gen who had gotten- Instantly had access to like a bunch of information.

Yeah. Immediately. And then the woman who Shaquille goes on a date with, was she jinn? We haven't even gotten into dating life. She was on a jinn. And that whole love plot is insane. So they got this owner who's eating newbie and go-dice.

Then we have Max's dad, who I'm gonna argue is a promoter of, all right, what do you say? Okay, hold on, hold on, this person has, it's you. Yeah, sorry. Okay, hold on, hold on, get a mic. I'll get a mic to you, I'll get a mic. All right, what do you say? You don't have to stand up.

I was equally confused, and he actually is in the industry of music piracy. Well, that wasn't really helpful at all. Yeah. We know he's pirating. That's not a job position in the industry of music piracy. But in 1996, that would have been a big deal. Sure, yeah.

And that's what underground, that's where they're doing is making counterfeit CDs. Well, I thought it was this. He was the club promoter, so he you go, Hey, Debrat, come play my club. Then Debrat will come play the club. Then they would secretly record it and then sell it. So I thought he was the front man to be like, Hey, Debrat. And so he's a trickster. He was a trickster who then was having his assistant.

Is he a trickster god? But so then, wait a second. But then why does the guy who's above him, the guy, the other genie, why does he? Who's not a genie. He must be a genie. Yeah, why does that genie want? Yes. Why does other genie want, like, why is other genie excited about Shaq's career? Because he wants his wishes.

He saw the boombox explode. Okay, but does he? And shoot diamonds. Shoot diamonds, yeah. Other genie, is he making money off of the tapes that are being, like? He saw the boombox explode. And shoot diamonds. Shoot diamonds, yeah. But does other Genie, is he making money off of the tapes that are being hit? Yes. A million dollars.

A million dollars for a Debrat concert. The one night of Debrat is going to net them one million dollars. This is what I'm confused by. Wait, is Debrat the actual name of? Yes, that yeah. Okay, so they were there the next night when Shaquille performed, right? So why didn't they just, when the tape was stolen,

why didn't they just like, re-record them? It would make a lot of sense. I mean, and we're living also in a world that like, is that, I don't think that there's ever been a market for live concert like and that level like hey you have a Billy Joel at Madison Square Garden tape I'll pay thousands it's not like yes so why was it wasn't like oh this is all new material that the Brad is doing right it's just a concert June

you're saying you know what the dad does? Okay, so I think the dad in the legit world is considered like an artist liaison to the club. Promoter. Yeah, a promoter, but he's not the promoter to me implies like he's trying to get people in the club. He's not what he's doing. Is that what you're saying? He gets the talent. Yes, he gets the talent. He makes him feel comfortable. He sets up some drinks, whatever. But what he's actually doing- He sets up a green room? Yes, but what he's actually doing-

Do you think he's in charge of those VIP relationships? Yes. Yeah. How many guests you want to accomplish? We have bracelets. We'll give them all to those people. So Brad is like, I'm not coming unless Nick is gonna be there.

What he's actually doing is organizing the piracy. Oh, god damn it. And setting up the, all that stuff. The nice guy behind the scenes who's ordering pizzas for everybody? Nick, Nick, everybody's friend, Nick. Which, again, Shazam is like, I'm hungry. He asked, he was like, was that pizza coming?

And then he comes, Shazam, or Kazam, not Shazam, it's Shaquille and Kazam together. By the way, it should have been Shazam come or Kazam not Shazam. It's Shaquille and Kazam together. By the way it should have been Shazam, his name is fucking Shaquille. The easiest connection. You can't call him Shazam. Shazam already exists. He walks in with like six pizzas. I'm sorry I can't let it go. I'm so mad about it. Guys, anytime anybody's hungry in this movie,

all they need to do is go to that warehouse where there is still six inches of food. Old hot dogs and hamburgers and burritos on the floor. All of it is there. So many candy bars. By the way, they do set up the rules a lot. I'm like, by minute 48, the third time Shaquille's like, no, no, I don't do that kind of wish.

I'm like, got it, we got it. I mean, no one in the movie gets it. He's like, I wish that you changed my dad's life. He's like, no, I don't do that. He's like, okay, 20 minutes later, changed my dad's life. Nah, how many times, kid, do I have to tell you that's not the shit I do? That's ethereal.

Yeah, it's ethereal. Yeah. Now, is that a rule across the board with genies or is this specific? What now? If you mean with real genies? No, I'm basing this off of other genies I've seen in movies or TV. Sure, like Aladdin. Aladdin's really the only one that's coming to mind.

But and I dream of Genie, of course. Of course. But what was her deal? What did she do? She, you know, listen, if we are to believe the theme song of the show, he is an astronaut, right? He falls from space in his capsule, lands on a beach. He's walking down the beach, he finds the lamp. He rubs the lamp, Jeannie pops out of it.

He fucks her? She becomes his life slave. He finds the lamp, he rubs the lamp, Jeannie pops out of it. He fucks her? She becomes his life slave. I think he maybe is like, one of my wishes is for you to love me for the rest of my life, even if I turn into a, no, that's the other one. That's bewitched. But that's ethereal.

Wait, did they both have different ones? Or no, just bewitched. OK. Oh, it's Harry Hagman. Right. But that's, I mean, but she was basically his slave for. Right, because she was kind of a theory. Oh, it's Larry Hagman. Right. But that's, I mean, but- But she was basically his slave for- Right, because she was kind of what she was. I just don't remember this being true

where genies can only produce material objects. Are there any genies in the audience? No. What if in the last scene of the last episode of I Dream of Genie, Larry Hagman dies and Genie is finally released from having to do the cursed wish that she's been doing his whole life, which is loving him.

And then the show ended. That would be amazing. That's a real soprano's ender. I wanna bring up the fact, and this is nothing, not trying to be anything, but just calling out a point. Was there no makeup on this movie? Because Shaquille O'Neal sweats like he's shooting this movie during a time out of a fucking championship basketball. Also, there are plenty of shots of people trying to wipe him and put makeup on him and they can't reach his head.

And so they're like, on his neck. Whatever the stylistic choice was they chose for this, they also chose it in steel. Where he also looks like exactly what you said. He must have a problem, right? Like he's doing it at halftime of the game. Hey, K, Shaquille, can we do one quick shot with you before you get back?

Yeah, yeah, sure, man. Let's go. Hey, kid, I can't grant ethereal wishes. Shaquille, can we do one quick shot with you before you get back? Yeah, yeah, sure, man. Yeah, let's go. Hey, kid, I can't grant a theory of wishes. Shaquille, can I get back in there? Pass me the ball. I have a question. Did Kazam, during the course of this movie, admit to perpetrating Pompeii? Yeah.

He lived under the ash for 347 years. Legitimately guilty of crimes against humanity. He committed a genocide. That's why he's in the situation he's in, right? Well, no, because I thought he was a genie, then he did Pompeii, then he went 347 years under the ashes, and then I guess something else happened. Oh, so he was born a genie. No, no, because he tells, no.

By the way, we're gonna find out right now. Why don't we let Shaquille O'Neal tell you exactly how he came to be a genie in this rap. And as people who are watching this here, the theater can see his 18 inch collars. In this thing. But this sets up how Shaquille became who he is. Here we go.

Listen to the man cause I'm a salt mouth sand. Is that it? Is that the whole deal? You wanna be a hit? You better get real. I did have this friend in the thousand BC. We discover a bevy of baby beauties. Her bird looks to me and I says to he,

why don't we jump in that old, you freydies? So that's the whole story. That's all you gotta tell? We got to listen to my rap from bell to bell. Those babies had rabies and we was in Hades cause we moved with the harem of the prince of our country. Which you and Haveri in the thousand beats. Bury to our necks and stand like a seed

by assaulting with a sword and a lock and a key. They're in deep, but they ever get free. So it's me and her bur in a thousand beats. Praying to the gods. And what do you see? A man with the halo and a nasty decree. I'll save your butt, but you're gonna serve me. I nod to her bur, he nods to me.

And when the magic is over We ain't men We genie Barbie ahead, Max We were buried to our necks In sand like a sea rock Consulted with a sword And a lock and a key

I looked to her birth And he said to me And when the magic is over We ain't men We genie What are we, Max? And when the magic is over, we ain't men. We cheating. What are we, Max? We cheating. I can't hear you, Max.

I cannot hear you. What are we? We cheating. We cheating. Okay. So that's the story of how he came to be. Like, I know we all just watched that together, and I still don't know what's happening. I don't know.

I have no idea. When I got it, that's why him and his buddy saw some pretty ladies who had rabies. What is that? They were then, I don't understand what that was. In the Euphrates. In the Euphrates. They were then caught by a sultan

who put them in quicksand. They were about to die, and as they were about to die, they're like, oh, please don't kill us. Then this god god came down and said I'm gonna make you guys genies. So we don't know where his friend is. His friend is maybe in another land. His friend is the eye-eating. That would have been a better movie if that guy had been that bad guy had been revealed to be infected. Again I just wonder so it seems like being a genie saved his life. Yeah. But it also seems like he hates being a genie.

I think it's some sort of like indentured servitude or something. Right. Yeah. Like it's not the life he has to obey. It's not a life he chooses. You know, he's like the women. I can understand that. Well, he's like the women of somebody who could be like, uh, make a volcano

erupt and kill everybody and he who could be like, make a volcano erupt and kill everybody. And he's got to be like, OK. I guess a part of me, and maybe this is small thinking, but I would think it would be kind of nice to give someone their wish. You know, that there's something fun about that. But you spent 3,000 years granting everybody else's wish. And you're like, what about me? What about my wish to be a rapper?

Yeah. Yeah. That's also- He's granting my wish. If a genie met another genie, do you think they could ask for a wish? Yes. If that genie, if he knocked the genie out of whatever he was in,

or she. Right. Hey, hey. Hey look, that's the sequel I wanna see. I'm comfortable living in a world where a genie can be a woman. Comfortable with it. And then they'd owe them, right?

Like the same rules would apply. Or you run into a gen who seems to be the most powerful, who could probably do a lot more stuff. I gotta tell you, I did not see the Jinn thing coming at the end. Yeah, like I was like, when he had kind of a Patrick Swayze like from Ghost. He kind of just morphed into a giant version of himself.

The only giant man becomes a giant? Yeah, at a certain point Shaq is like three stories tall. Which is, and Max is still talking to him. It was weird. Max is kind of, I feel like Shaq never did reverse angles. So I feel like Max is just doing a one man show to like a tennis ball and a stick. Yeah, right.

For the movie. I never felt like Max was truly afraid of Kazam. He was downright abusive to Kazam. He threw, when he woke up in the morning, he wasn't scared, he was angry. He was like, get the fuck out of my bed. He threw a baseball at Kazam's face at point blank range, like bam.

Like it was like, I was abusive. Are you kidding? This is a strange man in his bed. I have no problem with what he did. I'm 100% cool and will use this movie to show my own children how to behave should they find a seven foot six man in their bed spooning them in the morning.

I don't have children. I don't have children. It's funny though because I wasn't clear on you know what his powers were exactly. I agree. Because I know he's able to grant wishes but it also seems like he can hear Max wherever he is. And then suck Max through space and time. Right. And out of like a water glass. And I think it's distracted.

So he's like on a date, he's distracted, he tries to tune him out. But I also, I very much agree with you, June, because I was like, he could be in front of Max at any point, and Max kept like leaving and getting ahead, and then he'd all of a sudden be there. Until Max got on his bike, and then it seemed like Kazem had to also get on a bike to then race him, when he could have just stopped him

in front, put his hand out and said, you're not gonna ride this bike anymore. Or probably flown. I think he can fly. Right, well then that's what happens, he's on this little bike. Again, I think this whole movie was like, how can we make a very big guy on a bunch of little things

to elicit laughter? And then the bike became a flying bike and it was like, he was getting his powers back. I get that's what they were trying to do. But I mean, I felt like even with the powers back, like when the kid wishes for candy, he doesn't like go like, oh, that's a shitty wish. But when the kid wishes like for the tape,

he's like, no, I'm not gonna grant you that one. Like you had no problem with the candy. The candy is not gonna pay off ever. Like, is he gonna go back there for like what, 15 years? Like, oh, I'm hungry, I'll get my tootsie roll from this weird warehouse. The kid, Max is more afraid of the kids who are bullies than he is of Kazam.

Like he didn't wanna go back to them and ask for the tape. He manipulates space and time. He is being, in the beginning of this movie, think about the child Max's arc of the film. He is being bullied by kids at school. Then he is being relentlessly stalked by Shaquille O'Neal. His mother is trying to bring another man into his house. He

finds his father, who he forsakes. He finds his real father, who's a piece of shit, gets embroiled in nonsense, dies, is brought back to life, and then mourns the loss of Shaquille O'Neal. This is a crazy movie. Do you think that Shaquille, that Kazam, brought him back to life? Yes. He did it. June, what did you think happened? How else?

That's how he became Jen. That's how he, he's like, oh, I did it for the first time. I think what he did was it, cause he made his own wish come true. He was the first time. He made his own. Oh, wait a second. It was the first time

cause Zam has never been selfish. Right. Cause he always is like, I gotta grant somebody else's wish. I'm gonna do my own thing. And that was the first time he was like, you know what? I want this kid to live.

You're my only friend. And I want you to live. Yeah. But you know what you've, the person you forgot through his hole in Max's world is his friend. He makes a face-due at the beginning. Yep. And then we only see the friend one more time.

Not on the stairs. And he's like, you okay? You okay? You okay? He's like, yeah. I got a feeling there were a lot more scenes with that kid that I was like, yeah. That kid was like, I'm four on the call sheet.

I'm so psyched to be in this Kazam movie. I'm the lead character's best friend. I'm all over this. How did this could be? How did this could be? How did this could be? For music piraters, or whatever, counterfeiters of CDs, the bad guys have such an easy time murdering,

inclusive of children, murdering anybody. Like this is not a hyper violent crime to just be in a warehouse making CDs, but they have no problem just murdering people. And laughing about it. You know what though, Jason? I got the sense that piracy was just one part of a bigger business they were doing. Oh, you think so?

You think this was like an empire of corruption and greed? Well they, I mean, it seemed when they were in the basement, there were just a lot of CDs. A lot of CDs were down there. It didn't seem like guns or anything like that. Yeah. It almost seemed like they were waiting for a genie to show up so that they were trying to attract a genie so they could make the wish to have all the money in the world. That

was like the long con. Do you think that maybe there was a version of this script where it was like drugs? Because drugs would have been so much easier. I think what must have happened is that Shaq said, I need to rap in this movie. Of course. I mean, it is just shoehorned in, because there's the way we get into music piracy

and the understanding of this crime is so convoluted and so strange. Well, yeah, the valuable thing is, like we said, live recordings of rap artists. And the only reason why Shazam, or sorry, Kazam, gets popular is because the brat in the middle of her show does what all rappers do, points at someone in the crowd and goes, now you rap.

Now it's your turn, one person. In her defense, it wasn't just anyone she pointed to. Right, it was him. It was a seven foot six tall man. With a giant boombox, yeah. And then he took that lead and overnight, first of all, everyone wants his autograph after that performance. They want his autograph and he becomes Class K immediately.

They call him Class K. Wait, what? I didn't know he'd catch that. What was that? Oh, that's the second that he's performing. Kazam is called Class K. Wait, what? I didn't catch that. What was that? That's the second that he's performing. Kazam is called Class K. That's his rap name. He doesn't go by Kazam. No, yeah.

Kazam. Kazam. Kazam would have been a great rap name. What? Class K. What are you telling me? You're saying he's like, okay, here I am, Kazam. Now I'm a rapper, I guess I gotta come up with a rap name. Your name is Class K. I can't use Kazam. Now I'm a rapper, I guess I gotta come up with a rap name. Your name is Kazam.

I can't use Kazam, that's just my normal name. What? It has a Z in it. Boring. I am thinking about the movie, there are so many plots and I feel like it's like that movie. My rap name is Gary. That's the only way it would make sense.

If his rap name was like Gary Smith. Well, I was thinking that there are so many plots in this it's like watching that movie Timecode because I feel like I've checked out of certain ones. There's one whole plot of the club owner, Kazam, and the girl that's going on in the limo on their night because I think he's orchestrating Kazam's career. Then there's another plot. No, he wants Kazam

Oh, sorry. Sorry. He wants his genie power. He wants to make a wish. But initially he wanted, when he needed Nubian eyeballs, he wanted him as a rapper. He was on. Remember he says like everyone has a secret. Your job is to find out his secret. So he was like on to him. He was on to Merlin. Because remember when Kazam had the boombox, like a little glow diamond fell on his table, and he kept trying to catch it. Much to this man's fate. And then he's like, I got it.

No, there's nothing there. And then he's like, that guy seems to be able to emit imaginary diamonds. So I should become his friend by feeding him goat eyeballs. And introducing him to the love of his life. And is he dating the lady? Well that's another plot line that seems very underdeveloped. Well she has an interesting journey because all of a sudden out of nowhere she seems to

really care about Max. Yeah. Yes. Oh yeah. And then at the end when she's, spoiler alert, when they're walking away Kazam, and she's like, he's like, I haven't worked in 5,000 years. She's like, well, you better get used to it. Like, I'm like, well, is she also a genie?

Because she says, you don't get it. You don't have control here. Like, she seems to begin to know. She is on board with the app. Right. And maybe he was totally upfront with her. And just put it all out on the table. Well, now that he's a genjinn, does he have to work?

Cause then the djinn just be like, give me a million dollars and he'd have it. No, cause she's telling him you're getting a job. So is he a human being at the, our djinn? I don't know. He's human? I thought he'd given up all of his powers. Well, you know, he did, you know why?

Cause he got married. That's what it felt like. That's what it felt like. Oh My god guys I am single I Feel like I feel like we should get into the audience here and see what questions the audience has He's case you're keeping track, Jason has no children. And not married. Not married. All right, questions here from the audience.

Your name, what you would name Kazam as a rapper, and your question. I have no idea. I think Class K is pretty good. OK, great. My name is Sarah. Did anybody else notice during one of the scenes when Kazam is talking to Max,

he mentions that Jesus is basically a genie? Oh, I do remember that now. It was so shocking. Him and another biblical character who I don't remember, but he says Jesus is a genie. Right, yeah. Wow. This kid's movie got dark.

Yeah, so I guess Shaquille really is breaking it down. Early on, okay, yes. He's like, one of the wishes was to turn water into wine, and he's like, I can do that. And somebody was like, oh, I wish Lazarus was still alive. And he was like, done. Bingo. Well, for pointing out that fact,

I'm going to give you this great book that I really love. It's called The Great Showdowns of Revenge by Scott C. I wrote the introduction to it, but it's really awesome. He's amazing. It's really good. Get that book. All right. You, sir, what do you got? Your name, your it's really awesome. He's amazing. It's really good, get that book. All right, you sir, what do you got?

Your name, your Kazanine Brat name. I was gonna say, what do you think the dad does? Oh yeah, that's good too. Your name, what do you think the dad does? Okay, and your question, what do you think the dad does? My name's Rob, I think the dad just runs a warehouse party day in and day out. They show up in the middle of the day and that's when Debrat's there. Oh you're right, it's daytime.

It's daytime. Well it was the 90s so it was different. So late in the movie, Max kind of has a breakdown. He's really upset about everything and he's like, I'm gonna show them all, I'm gonna show them all. Like maybe I'll become a personal assistant. Personal assistant? I heard that. Yeah.

Yeah. Max does. I heard that. Oh, it was amazing. Yeah, that was a weird moment because Jekyll at that point became an image on the ceiling, like a constellation on the ceiling, and was talking to him as

a two-dimensional, a one-dimensional person. The only thing I can, I don't know, come up with is that the dad had a personal assistant, who he also seemed to beat up. Yeah. From time to time, but who seemed sort of like a son figure to him. So I don't know, maybe he just thought that was a job that was open and people were close to this father. Everyone knows the power is in the personal assistance to the biggest people. They know everything.

Yeah, exactly. All right, sir, what do you think the dad does? Your name and your question. Brad, I think the dad, I agree the dad's like a talent relation guy. And observation, the friend, the make-a-face friend that's the director's son oh I like that and by the way it's that wasn't good his son wasn't good enough to actually get the bigger part of max so at the at the very end of the credits it says it's dedicated to three people.

Elizabeth, somebody, somebody. I didn't look it up or anything if they were his children, but I just started to think I was like, if I was his child, I'd be like, it's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't waste your time on this one. You don't have to dedicate this to me. Yeah. You guys seem like you have a partnership here that you need this, no.

All right, quick thing, all right, quick thing, here. Don't touch my hand on the mic. I'll hold the mic to your face, you just talk into it, here. Those bullies sodomize him with a key. What? Oh right, they said they'll put the key up his ass, right? Where it will only fit. When he comes home, he doesn't have any bruises,

so all they did was sodomize him with the key. Well, he has a little bit on his face because his mother's like, what happened to your face? What happened to you? But I think makeup was not again. Shaq is a sweaty mess. They couldn't do any effects. Do you think his butt is a safe?

Yeah. By the way, there was something about Max that I loved too, which is like, his mom's like, have this OJ. He's like, ugh. What kid doesn't like OJ? Like, and eat these pancakes, they're waffles.

He's like, ugh. It's not like his mom was trying to feed him health food, it was like, the most kid-friendly food. We didn't even talk about that scene, how they ate the French toast behind the mom's back. The flying French toast. The flying French toast!

And then she had to make more. The kid won't eat it, so he makes the French toast fly into his mouth in one whole bite. And almost, I mean, I feel like the mom's... That was a deadly serving. How about when the bad guy, when the main bad guy is like, you're going to do what I want, or maybe he's going to wake up dead. What?

I get it, you are foreign and the villain, but once people are dead, by definition, that means they do not wake up. Alright, ma'am, your name, your Kazam rap name, if you have one, and your question. Hi, my name is Julia and my Kazam rap name would be Tracheal O'Neill. Ooh! Did you write that down or are you just consulting your notes? She does have a lot of notes and I'm very happy about this. I know how you like your notes.

Okay, I'd like to turn this around onto the panel. When it comes to sharing a race car, twin size bed with Tracheal O'Neill, would you prefer to be big or little spoon? Wow, amazing question. You're gonna get one of these great showdown books too. I would like somebody to start a Tumblr where all of you can just post images of your notes for these movies. I would like to be, wait, wait, which is big and which is little? Would you like to be spooned or spooned? I would like to be spooned.

I would like to be spooned. I always like to be big spooned, so. Wait, which is big? Big spoon is the one who's doing the spooning. I like to be spooned. Yeah, I would. Okay. Hey, what's happening?

It's a match. I like to be spooned. Ha ha! Guys, spoon for us right now. Guys, let's take a poll and everybody in the room, split up by preference of spooning. Left-hand side of the room, spoonies, spooners in the right hand. And then we're all gonna run at each other. And whoever we spoon with is remated for life.

Let's just make this decision now and not look back. Kay, where do you fall, spoonie or spooner? Oh, I like to spoon the person. And like for 10 seconds, I'd be done. I actually think it's interesting. I think most men like to be spooned. And I think most women like to do the spooning. Paul. Well, I'm agreeing with June. If there's a Shaquille O'Neal in my bed,

I would want him to envelop me in every way. I want to be the little spoon to Shaquille's big spoon. Scoop me up. Drive me away in that race car bed to dreamland. May it never end. All right, who else has a good question? You have a great question. Your name, your Shaquille O'Neal rap name, and your question. My name's Latoya. I have a really tasteful name, Magic K. Pretty two point. I like it.

I have just one point to make, and then my question. It wasn't just Da Brat performing. It was Salt and Pepper's Spinderella. Spinderella. Oh, OK, very good point. Yes. Thank you. And that's why it would probably be worth a million dollars.

Maybe it was a collab that doesn't often happen. Not a cool half a mil normal Debracho. It started as 50,000. I remember hearing 50,000, don't lose this tape, 50,000, and then other genie was like, it's worth a million dollars. That's a big jump, that's a huge jump. All right, your question.

Yeah, when you have the N in salt and pepper, then you do. Yeah, that is big. Well, my question is, if you could recast Shaq with another 90s basketball player, who would it be? I would go with Dennis Rodman, obviously. Ooh, Dennis Rodman as the genie. Who else? All right, so 90s basketball player.

Well, I would go, who played Grandma Ma? Who was the Grandma Ma guy? Larry Jem. Karl Malone? Oh no, it's easy, Larry Bird. Don't change a line of dialogue. I am here to say, I will give Larry Bird $500,000 to do a shot for shot remake of Kazam. And I want the kid who played Max,

no matter how old he is now, to play Max. I would say Mugsy Bogues, because Mugsy Bogues is probably smaller than Max in size. So I think it would be the reverse where Max would be the big and then Muggsy Bogues would be the small. All right. Who has a good question in the back? All right.

Yes. Your name, your Shaq rap name and your question. My name's Jake. I would be Kazant. All right. I don't, I felt it felt, yeah, he can't rap. Okay, got can't rap. Okay, God. Oh.

I just, I was wondering if anybody else picked up when Sam goes to his, to meet up with his dad. He goes into that party, the woman that he's dating. What do you mean, Max? I'm sorry, Max, thank you. Max. Bro, get it together. The woman that Shaq ends up dating does like, does like a lock eye with him and like straight up is

like wants to fuck him. Who, the dad? He goes to a POV shot and they're like, this is whoever she is and she is straight up just mmm. So she's, you, yeah, go ahead. I'm just, I'm wondering maybe that's why she cares so much about him later. Because it's a sexual, an intense sexual attraction. I mean, that's just real.

Do you think Max is her son? Oh wait, you say he did to Max, I thought Shaquille. To Max, that's what you're saying, to Max. To Max's dad, I think. Wait, who are you saying? He's saying that the woman that Shaquille and Neil eventually did, she like looks at him like she wants to fuck the kid. No, I did not see that.

I think you misread that. I did not. I think you misread that. Hey guy, I think that says more about you than about the movie. We're going to do a quick palate cleanser here, ma'am. Your name, your rap name for Shaquille, and your question. My name is Liz. Can I say what I think the dad does?

Yeah, of course. I think whatever it is, it's the same job that Mariah Carey's boyfriend did in Glitter. Oh, that's a good call. And so I was wondering, if he's been away for either 3,000 or 5,000 years, because I heard both, how does he know who Thomas Jefferson is, let alone Jesus? Yeah.

And he talks about Elvis, I think, at one point, too, or John Wayne. He definitely mentions those two. Yeah, that's a mystery. I wonder if learning goes on in the bottle? Yeah, how much knowledge is passed through? I mean, the boom bugs had a radio. Okay. Let me see.

That's some good questions. Yeah, I'm still curious about what's inside that genie bottle in general. Like, he doesn't seem to talk about it like it's an awful existence. Well, and I'm also trying to remember, like, when genies get out of their lamp, do they need to then carry the lamps around with them? I don't think so. Only if they're going back into it and need it. I do think they need to know where it is.

At all times. Probably. But what I forgot was, like, normally when you see the bottle, the bottle is, is like this big. Yeah. And Shaq's was... Shaq's was a big bottle. It was really, really big.

Well, Shaq, as evidenced in the movie, is an incredibly tall man. He doesn't stick out at all. Shaq, as evidenced in the movie, is an incredibly tall man. You could tell because they're constantly putting him in perspective with a child in bed. All right. I just, I was wondering if they ever made one of those Shaq things that you could stand up against in your house to measure how tall you are. And that's kind of what this whole movie is. Yeah. All right. You sir, your name, your Shaquille O'Neal rap name and your question.

My name is Micah. Shaquille O'Neal rap name would probably be MC something because it was the 90s. Okay. And half an answer. MC something. I believe that the father was the talent booker for the club. And then his other job was pirating the CDs. And the $50,000 figure that came up was the club owner was saying, you know, we have $50,000 worth of CD blanks coming in today. And I need you to make the counterfeits

because then they will be worth a million dollars. Are you here, Other Genie? It's Other Genie. Oh! It's Other Genie! It's Other Genie! It's Other Genie! Yeah, get Genie! Get that guy a book. That was amazing.

He did answer a lot of questions. Thank you, Other Genie. I like that they're treating it like it's counterfeit money. Like you need plates to make the CDs. Like we have to get the plates. $50,000 worth of blank CDs. That's a lot. You're investing a lot in this Debrack concert.

Ridiculous. Is that your question or just your justification? Because they don't want to cut you off because you already had to... He gave an answer more than a question. By the way, great restraint. Quit while he was ahead. He fucking nailed that free throw unlike Shaquille and then walked away. All right, who has a good one? Who believes in themselves? All right, great. Here we go. Your name, your Shaquille rap name, and your question. My name is Bree, and my Shaquille rap name

would be Genie and Juice. Nice, I like that. So as you guys pointed out, Max fell through an extraordinary amount of floors. So I'm wondering, is it possible that he was fatally wounded, and the rest of the movie is a Jacob's Ladder scenario. I see where you're going.

I see where you're going. So you're saying the only part of the movie that is real is the initial meeting with the bullies in which he goes into the abandoned house, he falls through all the floors, and the rest of the movie is the last few moments of his life ebbing out of his body, and he's imagining that whole rest of the movie.

If that were the case, he's mentally insane. Five stars, five stars. What if, I'm gonna posit one more theory, how about the second time he falls down the elevator shaft, the end is the Jacob Ladder scenario, which is he lived the entire thing, but he never came out of it. He only imagined Jaquille getting free

and the life and everything like that. That would justify it. Ooh, that would be amazing. Wait, when he falls the second time, because I really do think he's a genie, the other guy. They don't touch him, right? He just kind of is like, whoa. Was he running backwards or something like that? What happened?

He throws him off the- Doesn't he hit him with the boombox? No, you're right, he did throw him. He throws him, I think he tossed him. Or something like that. I thought he tossed him right off. Did he toss him? I had that in my head.

Did he toss him, audience? Yes, all right, he tossed him. Oh, he tossed him? Oh, I thought he just fell backwards. I do remember him tossing him, audience? Yes, he tossed him. Oh, he tossed him? Oh, I thought he just fell backwards. I do remember him tossing him, yeah. Well, that kid should have better balance. Okay, where else? How does the kid keep getting into the club?

Wait, wait, wait. That kid should not be allowed in that club at all. That kid gets to go everywhere, and he's gone all night. His mom's like, don't do that again. He's like the king of New York City. Yeah. And then those bullies are trying to get in the club too. And even when he's trying to be cool in front of those bullies, they don't believe he had

that, like he had the lanyard, right? They're like, that's bullshit. You don't have that. It's like, yeah, he's wearing it. Like there's nothing in this movie that makes sense. Like they're like, at that point, the bully should be like, whoa, cool. You got into the club. No. They're like, fuck you, we're shoving another key up your ass.

Ruff neighborhood. Oh yeah, in the beginning, I forgot about this. Doesn't he tell the bullies, like, there's gold in a locker? Yeah, and he lied to them, so that made him real mad. All right, sir, your name, your Shaquille rap name or father's profession in your question. My name is Walker.

I think his rap name should be Special K. Nice, clean. Because listening to it makes you pass out. My question is so it not only did Starsky direct the movie but he also did the story so do you think that he's plugging away on Starsky and Hutch like I got this great idea with Wilt Chamberlain It's gonna be I just gotta let this grow for a little while And he finally got the cachet in Hollywood to get this made Just like 30 years later Just pull out that old Wilt Chamberlain script I bet it's kind of funny to think that that was his like dream project.

To write. You know, at the very beginning, I gotta say, I kind of in the first 20 minutes, I was like, I'm really digging this movie. Like I was like, it kind of feels like Goonies or like, I mean, I wasn't like so sold on Max, but I was like, it wasn't until Kazam shows up and I was like, no, I'm done. Well, I agree because I think the basic conceit of it, like the idea that a child could have a genie, could own a genie, could grant wishes is a fun idea for kids to see. But he doesn't use it for any of the problems that they really established in the first

like 10 minutes. It's like, I wish those bullies get embarrassed. Doesn't do it for that, doesn't use it for being cool. Right. But you know Starsky was just like, I got Shaquille. Like, I got Shaquille O'Neal in this movie. This is gonna be the best thing that I ever do in my whole career. And then Shaquille was like,

oh, I need to rap in the movie. And he was like, fuck. You need to what now? I wonder if Starsky is a divorced dad and he was writing this as like, from his perspective to his kid. Like yeah, there are some things I need to make amends for, but I did it. I did it for you and I made some mistakes. And you know

what I got involved in some shady showbiz shit but I'm back on track now all right sir your your name your Shaquille O'Neal rap name and your question go ahead my name is John I refuse to give him a name because he's so bad it would just encourage him to rap more I got a quick comment then a question Starsky never directed again because of how bad this movie was and then... Arguably. Yes. One of the 50 million times Max asked for his parents to get back together, Shaq's like, I can't do that. Only jinns can do that because they believe in fairy tales. I don't believe in fairy tales.

But in the end, what is the fairy tale and Max being dead and then him like being sad about it? Like, why does he become a jin now? Hm. Huh. Well, we'll have him being sad about it. Like, why does he become Jin now? Hmm. Huh. Well, we'll have to all think about that. We're stymied. You did it. You just did it.

You stumped us. I was. Did you guys think that, I did think that the ending was going to be, like I thought this would be the biggest fuck you ending. It should be like his parents to get back together. Like I thought like, and then that stepdad would just disappear.

No, instead what happens, which is insanity, which is in the chase in the warehouse where they're making the fake CDs, which is in the basement of the club, there's a fire, the whole club gets on fire, blah, blah, blah, blah. The kid, once again, a corpse at the bottom of an elevator shaft is brought back to life by Shaq, become going from genie to gin. Travis, his stepfather, picks him up, scoops the kid up, runs out with him. That's not really,

if I could amend what you're saying. Sure, sure. Because we never see that happen. He catches it. Sorry, you're right. It makes it look like Travis saved Max because you can't let it know that it's Kazam who did it. So Travis is the best, again, I contend, the best, greatest guy in the whole world. They go outside, they reunite with the mom. Right, and all fine, and he's the fireman, and that's all good, and they're putting out

fires. and all fine and he's the fireman and that's all good and they're like putting out fires and he he like His dad comes up gets a second chance. Yeah, and and we get the max is like yeah you you can come to travis who just saved my life Also, and travis a fireman walks away from an active fire Okay Max this movie exists in a world in where Max is almost omnipotent. Over all adults, he's like, hey Travis, you coming? Travis is like, uh, fuck it, yeah.

Yeah. There's like a lot of fire still. There's a lot of fire. He is going AWOL from his job. It takes him a really long time to get the blanket too. Like she's like, the mom's like, can you get him a blanket? It's like a really long scene. The next day they're like, Travis, where the fuck were you?

He's like, you don't understand. The kid finally wanted me there. I just saw something here that took me on a little detour. I wish it was more research. So Paul Michael Glazer, the director of this, directed the movie Running Man with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Obviously a huge hit, which I would like to do on the show. But he also directed The Air Up There, a movie about another large basketball player

with Kevin Bacon, where Kevin Bacon, it was just this guy, this giant guy. He did direct again. This wasn't the only thing. Well, this is before. It's a running man in the air up there. So his specialty was athlete tennis? Charles Jekana-Mayana and he played Salia. So basically a college basketball coach, Kevin Bacon goes to Africa to find the next big thing. And the poster is, you can't see it that far away, but it's a very tall man with a very small man next to him.

So I think maybe that was his, like, thing. Like, he liked... That's like, maybe you might even call it a fetish. I'm pretty amazed at that. Okay, so that's it. Obviously, we had an opinion about this movie, but there are other people out there that had a different opinion.

It is now time for second opinions. As always, we come to you, the audience, to sing the theme. If someone out there has a theme ready to go, I'll run to you, but if not, you have to all sing it again. So anyone have a theme ready to go? Anyone ready to sing it by themselves? Going once, going twice, all right, everyone, sing your best rendition, your own lyrics

of the second opinion theme, go. Sing it by yourself! Sing it by yourself! Sing it by yourself! Sing it by yourself! All right, that's our second opinion theme. You think you guys would have rehearsed a little before the show?

That was terrible. These are second opinions called from Amazon five-star reviews. They're all pretty short, but I figured this was a, this is by Mark Buffard, written in May of 2015. in May of 2015. Oh. Oh. Simply this.

Three words. Great Genie movie. Oh. Oh. And Genie is spelt here like, like J-E-A-N-I-E. Oh. Like Genie MacArthur.

Oh. That is, but this is the one that I really liked here. Okay. All right. So this one is five stars by Jeff Gahn. Shaq Diesel, AKA Shaquille O'Neal, has done what few professional athletes have ever accomplished. Successfully crossed over to the big screen. Shaq Diesel, aka Shaquille O'Neal, has done what few professional athletes have ever accomplished,

successfully crossed over to the big screen. I like the cover of this movie. Still have yet to see the whole thing. But not because I didn't want to watch it. I just keep on getting interrupted. And I'm starting to get a little frustrated. Frustrated at the movie, at himself? I feel like Shaq really likes kids, which is fun,

and I'm sure this movie is fun, too. Five stars. Um, we're, doctor, we're gonna need you back in surgery right now. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars.

Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars.

Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars.

Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Um, this one is a very long one, but I wanna just read, oh man, all right, this one, I just wanna read this middle of it. It goes, it says, does every movie have to be, this is what it's titled, does every movie have to be War and Peace

by the Autistic Werewolf? Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um.

Written December 10th, 2003. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it.

I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it.

I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. Kazam's bad singing, ha ha ha ha ha ha, is just a fun, is just a fun. Um, remember, it's one of those, hey, Genie dude, don't quit your day job things. I'm an adult and I love this movie.

Shaquille did a great job in it. Shaq gave a Genie a wild, special turban flavor. Compassion and dignity that's way different from all those traditional Genie depictions that I found refreshing. and flavor, compassion and dignity that's way different from all those traditional genie depictions that I found refreshing. Shaq was a hood genie. Everyone in the hood thinks they're the next ghetto MIA.

Sorry, ghetto I am a cool dude rap star. Sorry, I read it wrong. A hood genie living in a boom box would not logically be any different from all the rest of the rap star wannabes, hence the movie keeps to its urban theme. Kazams for kids or the adults who've managed to remain a kid at heart, anyone else who has done more than just grow up, they have gotten old in the worst context. There's no more fun inside of you. There are no more connections to the joys and the pains of youth that this movie taps into.

If your heart is still young, you'll love Kazam. If not, I pity you. And then goes, PS, Amazon sells a lot high-tone movies, too, by the way. I bought a few in my time. Go for it. I don't know what that means. Five stars. So do you think... Do you think that's just a normal guy all the time,

and then full moon comes out... autistic werewolf? Or is he an autistic guy all the time, full moon werewolf? We'll never know. He doesn't lose being autistic. He's always autistic. Is he only right in the full moon? OK, so would you recommend watching this movie?

I would say yes. What'd you say? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorta. For the rap alone, Jason, come on. I would maybe speed through. I would maybe fast forward during some stuff.

It, there's, it's, I mean, it's tedious. Well, I think he's- I mean, watch the kid die for sure. He's, to me, he's definitely, Shaquille is very charming. I think he's like- I think so too. I actually, having seen now two Shaquille is very charming. I think he's like- I think so too. I actually, having seen now two Shaquille O'Neal films today, I feel I can say with confidence,

I think he's doing a great job as an actor. And I think he has some charisma that is coming through. It really is. I'm not gonna like shit on Shaquille O'Neal. I will say that his go-to is yelling. Yeah, but I think he was trying to be like, Powerful. Powerful and show his presence.

Like imposing as the genie. If you were to compare him to other athletes and how they would have done, I think he like wins an Oscar for 100%. I think he is definitely yes. For athletic performance. There's a reason why Shaquille O'Neal has been in like four or five movies. I think he does great. I think he did great. 100%. I think he is definitely yes. For athletic performance. For athletic performance.

There's a reason why Shaquille O'Neal has been in like four or five movies. Yeah. I think he does have, I mean now meanwhile. And there's also a reason why Shaquille O'Neal's been in four or five movies. And a lot of commercials. A lot of commercials.

Would you see Yao Ming in this movie? Would that be the new version? I wouldn't. I wouldn't want to see Yao Ming. No. Shaquille be the new version? I wouldn't. I wouldn't want to see Yao Ming. No. Shaquille can carry it. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

I was gonna ask Yao Ming. But I think I know who it is. Okay, well, before we go, before we go, I'm gonna play one more rap, but what do we have to plug? Kay, you are an amazing writer and now a director What do you what do you want to plug? What do you want to tell people about to see or watch? Watch Kazam. I wrote it guys

I'm pitch perfect three is coming out In a year and a half or whatever so in a year and a half or whatever. That's amazing. I guess in a year and a half, go see that. Or re-watch the first two. People in a year and a half are gonna be like, oh, Kay was plugging this a year and a half ago. On that episode, we gotta go see it.

Has it even begun production on it? No. All right, great. You're getting the inside scoop. I just finished the first draft today, actually. Great. Thank you. Amazing. It's terrible right now. It's real bad.

It's a singing movie, so is there a part for Shaquille? That's a great question. Let me tell you something. Yes. There is definitely a part for Shaquille. If this brought this together in a year and a half, and we all go to the theater and see Shaquille, If this brought this together in a year and a half and we all go to the theater and see Shaquille, we won't know where this came from.

You guys, I'm kind of not joking. If that happens, if that happens, and he's singing to a crowd of people, I would like Paul, Jude, and I to be in the front row of that crowd. Absolutely, absolutely. By the way, Shaquille was in Fresh Off the Boat. He was very good.

He brought the heat in Fresh Off the Boat. The Miami heat? He brought the heat in Fresh Off the Boat. The Miami heat? He brought the Orlando magic. Rats. It's a basketball team though, right? I don't know. June, what would you? You can still watch the first season

of Grace and Frankie on Netflix. Perfect. And yeah, that's it. Jason. I have a very small part on a very wonderful show Perfect. And yeah, that's it. Jason? I have a very small part on a very wonderful show called Transparent on Amazon. Season two just came out. And Kay, I'm sure people can watch Pitch Perfect 2 right now on iTunes, right? Oh sure, yeah, check that out.

And Pitch Perfect 1. Sure! No! But you would prefer for people to wait a year and a half. and pitch perfect one. Sure. No, but you would prefer for people to wait a year and a half, see, not watch either go backwards and treat them like prequel. You understand you're allowed to talk about things from the past. Oh, I did not know that. I don't have to be future looking. I did not know. I did not know. Um, I would like to plug. Obviously fresh off Boat is a fun show,

but also the first ever Vine series on the voice of white ninja. You can watch it on Vine. That's a thing that happened. So we did all that. And now I'll say this, Shaquille, take it away. Get set for my tether-tet-tet. Ha ha, you see what I got, so let me see what you can get. The things I see will make you sweat. Kings and fools, they're all fish in my net.

Cause I am Kazan. Oh man. I'm more than I seem, you all are looking at your dream. In your coffee, I'm the queen. Don't wish I get a dream. We about to be on breakers. Let's go. By the way, I'm a fan of the show.

I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show.

I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a lasers, the gold. By the way, I noticed that there, somebody holds the mic like I hold the mic at this audience's face, just holding the mic in front of Shaquille O'Neal's face.

Because he has to hold the boombox, which is emitting fire in a crowd. And people are psyched about it. That was before, um, man, I'm not gonna make a joke about that. All right, thank you guys. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.

I didn't. You all are disgusting people. I stopped. You went forward. It's your fault. Um, big thank you to, uh, everybody at Earwulf, everybody here at Largo our interns April Halley Nick Kylie and Marissa Zeitz and thank you guys so much for coming out. We'll do these shows again. Thank you. Good night