How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Rhinestone LIVE! (w/ Matt Jones)

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

Breaking Bad's Matt Jones joins the HDTGM crew to cover the 1984 musical comedy that nobody wanted, Rhinestone starring Sylvester Stallone & Dolly Parton. LIVE from Largo in L.A. they discuss the song Drinkenstein, the baby Hitler line, Sly & Dolly's duet, and how NYC is apparently the country music capital of the world. Plus, they ask "What does the phrase 'mice f%#ing on cotton' actually mean?" (Originally Released 11/07/2014) HDTGM will be in Boston on June 16th & Nantucket on June 20th! Go to hdtgm.com for ticket info, merch, and more.Order Paul’s book about his childhood, Joyful Recollections of Trauma, wherever books are soldFor extra Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerHDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerFollow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/Check out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter

Picture my fair lady, but with steroids and country music. We saw rhinestones, so you know what that means. Hello, people of Earth! Hello, people of Los Angeles! We are live here at Largo in Los Angeles with an amazing crowd, an electric crowd. For a night that we won't soon forget, um, together, finally, the movie that everyone wanted, Stallone, Dolly Parton, musical, comedy.

It happened. And, uh, and we're gonna talk about Ryan Stone tonight, but to help me do it, I am joined by my co-host. Please welcome Jason Manzoukas and a very special guest tonight helping us talk about all things Rhinestone. Please welcome Matt Jones. All right. Oh boy.

Rhinestone 111 minutes. You know, it was interesting watching the trailer cause that's a very short trailer. Like that's, I feel like they genuinely couldn't cut together the story. Like it didn't go together in trailer form. It didn't go together in full length feature form either. It's a problem when you can't make a trailer out of the... It's basically my... Boss, I've been trying.

I've been trying to cut a bunch of scenes together. It really doesn't make sense though. I feel like the head of Paramount was like, fuck it. We can't let people know that Stallone sings. Make him punch a bunch of people. He'll punch hips. But meanwhile, one of the points in the movie

is that he's never allowed to punch someone. But it's in the trailer, cause he's Rocky. Well now- I will say, there's a little known fact about Dolly Parton that you may notice. Yes, go ahead. She has huge boobs. I mean, ridiculously big boobs.

Okay, her boobs have boobs. Her boobs have boobs. Her boobs have boobs. You bring this up and I didn't notice it. Just to make sure we're all clear, the premise of the movie is Dolly Parton bets her body essentially. She basically says, you can fuck me if I don't win this bet.

And I'm not. You know, honestly, I actually rewatched this part because it wasn't totally clear. I was like, wait, what the fuck was the bet? Yeah. She wants, go ahead, man. Yeah, because at the end of it, he goes, and I get to have sex with you.

He just tags it on. Oh, okay, all right. And she goes, hey, go screw yourself and walks away. Oh, okay. She never actually said, I will have sex with you. No, see, here's the thing. The prize for the bet, for him, for Frank is his name. Yeah.

I'm sorry, for Freddie. Freddie the most unlikely holder. It's Frank Stallone. Freddie Ugo? Yes. F you. F you. The prize for him is to have sex

with an unwilling participant. Yeah. So, And She has agreed, she does sign on to the bet, but she signs on knowing the cheat. There is a contract element of it though. Where,

Right. If she wins, he nullifies her contract, and if he wins, he gets to have her for five extra years on her contract. On top of the three, so eight years. And then he throws in the sex. her contract and if he wins, he gets to have her for five extra years on her contract. On top of the three, so eight years. And then he throws in the sex. Okay, just pause, pause for a second.

The contract is to sing at a bar. A country western bar. He has an iron clad city. Manhattan. Manhattan's premier cowboy bar. Again, this movie. I love the pitch for this movie. It was like, yeah, yeah, it's like Studio 54,

but like cowboys and shit. Like this movie hypothesizes something that never was a big thing. Like, you know, like I know line dancing was big, but like people weren't going to Hillbilly bars. And the people that were in the crowd were real New Yorkers. They were not making any effort, even though there was cowboy paparazzi outside.

You know, literally, the guys in the crowd were like, hey, why don't you play country music better? Well, this is what's weird, too. You sort of get this sense from the movie that the country music scene is taking off in New York City. Like that it's not in Nashville. Like, people can suck it. Did you guys live in New York at any point?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, well, it's so big. Was it New York City? That's why I moved to New York. To become a country music superstar. It's the only place to be. I was like, where can I break into country music? New York City, here I come.

In fact, I'm gonna leave the place. Yep, yep. I wanna say it has a beautiful opening line. The opening line to the film is, have a good night Mr. Hugo. It's always a good night when you're rich. Yep. That's good writing. That's good writing.

That's good writing. I want to get to the bottom of Mr. Ugo because his whole thing is, he doesn't look like an owner of a country bar. Why go so against type? Why don't you make him like a Larry Hagman type of guy? And also, dear boy, this country western bar is so successful

that he is stupid rich. Oh yeah. Right, like his apartment is calm, it's like a richy rich apartment. Like he has a bedroom like Superman does in Superman 2. He has a fireplace that is oddly electric. He lives like Quagmire from The Family Guy.

Actually, they did an establishing, and it showed that he lived in Trump Tower. Yes. Oh, that's awesome. This is 1984, so this is like, let me ask Trump Tower. Let me ask this question then. If this club is so successful and he is so rich

that this is the country music mecca that it posits, the movie posits it is, why does Dolly need to get out of her contract? She's where it's happening. That's a great question. She has succeeded, I assume. And there was no talk of him like producing her album. She has succeeded, I assume. And there was no talk of him like producing her album.

It really was just to perform nightly, I guess. It's as if records don't exist. It was, and I'm gonna bring back to this cowboy paparazzi thing again. When he pulls up in his car car There's a girl in cowboy costume who takes pictures of him entering his own bar Which is odd that you would have popper like people you hire Paparazzi yourself and then also they take pictures of him in the bar. I just thought that was interesting very egomaniac I think I want more of those paparazzi pictures of me going into where I live

I want more of those paparazzi pictures of me going into where I live. Freddie Hugo visiting his own, here he is visiting his own club again. Stallone drives a cab in this movie, like Beauregard drives a cab in the second Muppets movie. Like it is so scatter shot and insane. Like he, like Stallone in this movie, the first thing that you're seeing him,

he's screaming, he's driving like a wild man. Like he could have a full on personality disorder. He's a crazy individual. Like top to bottom, T to B, he is out of control. He needs to be medicated. If he was if it was taking place now he would be diagnosed like ADHD or ADD. Like his level of like he's always jumping around and stuff like the scenes where he's like takes Ollie Parton he takes her back home to the funeral home where he lives they go

in he shows her the organ he starts starts singing Tooty Fruity, he realizes there's a funeral, ba-bap-beep-bap-beep-bap-beep-bap-beep, there's so much manic energy. Maybe he has Robin Williams disease. Maybe that was an inspiration for him. Here's the weird thing about, well there's so, I mean there's so much to unpack here, but the weird thing about his singing,

before she even, like, tries to work with him, is it's so crazy. But it's, like, it's not that he's tone deaf, necessarily. But that's part of it. It's part of it, but the main thing is, like, it's, um... So he sings everything so fast. So he wants to get it done real quick. Yes, but I've never heard someone be so off rhythm,

I guess, but it's not even that. It's a crazy- Do you think that he thinks, I'm such a good singer, I need to really mess it up to not be- No, he's a good comedian. I gotta tell you, one of the worst things in life, if you're a comedian or a funny person in any way,

it's being introduced to somebody, like, this is my friend, he's so funny. You sit down with them and you're like, oh, and you're like, there's so much pressure on both of you. Yeah. But then the person like, goes huge, it is sometimes like, super misogynistic or racist, and all this, you're like,

I don't find this person funny at all. I really kinda hate this person. One person thinks they're funny. That person produced rhinestone. Yeah. Yeah. Cause somebody was like, you know, when they called cut on the organ bit, somebody was like,

aw man Sly, that was hilarious. I kind of agree. I kind of agree. I think all of those choices, because there was other things within there that I was like, I'm watching a man who is inherently not funny at all try and be what he thinks is funny. Well, like there's a scene when he's being, he wrecks his cab, he's being reamed out by the owner of the cab company, he happens to be wearing

a shirt that looks like a fair thing, and he goes, hey, how can you find me from being a taxi driver? I'm dressed like a taxi. Like that's like, he's like, he's riffing. Well, there's, do you notice, he's wearing, he's wearing funny t-shirts in all of the movie. Well, as a, as a, as a. He's wearing the one that looks like,

looks like he has all the cameras on him. Yup, there's one that's a, there's one that's a skeleton. There's one that's a skeleton. The tourist one. I'm gonna play a slideshow. I guarantee that was Stallone being like, this is hilarious. Yeah, that.

Yeah, these are the cab ones. Tuxedo, skeleton, that, whatever that is. That one. Four rhinestones. That's a lot of different outfits. He definitely was dressing the part of the funny guy. It's just weird though, because a little bit later, we do see him singing with his family an Italian song, and he sounds great.

Also, super racist. Fine, but he sounds okay. And then later on... He sounds okay? He sounded all right. I'm sorry, do you think we're gonna let you get away with that? He sounded okay.

He sounded fine. You think that's what all Italians sound like? He sounded okay. I like that that's your setup for something else, is that he sang well in that scene, cause he did not. I thought he sounded okay. I thought he sounded okay.

But then at the end, and sorry to jump ahead, but during his like finale song, he tries to do it Dolly's way, and then he starts, he has to do it Dolly's Way and then he starts he has to do it his way but his way should I play that scene do you have the do you have him trying to sing Dolly's Way first I only have one he kind of goes into his way of doing it. This is really funny. So, wait, is this the end?

This is the end. We're jumping to the end. This is like when he does his, like, get his crowd. So just very quickly, the challenge is, the movie, what the movie is, is Dolly Parton has to turn Sylvester Stallone into a successful country singer so that he will not get heckled off stage at this Gong Show talent night at the biggest, at the biggest country Western bar in North America located in Manhattan in New York City. In Midtown, in Midtown. And like we said guys, we are going way out of order,

but I think there's no suspense that it's gonna happen. So here we go. All right, so this is... Also, if you can tell me what he's saying. Ha ha! Here we go. I really don't know. Okay. I want you to say after me, okay?

The South is going around The South is golden. Hurrah! Tonight! Alright! I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy.

I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy.

I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna go crazy. that is as good as it's gonna get. That is the gold.

But he does like a Sugarhill gang kinda. He raps, he's rapping to a beat. That, just so you know, like that's where the movie Apex is. So. This is his victorious moment. I'll say this, the same year that this movie came out, Frank Stallone released his first album. Oh really? Yes.

I was just making sure. And he was nominated for Golden Globe for writing music for Staying Alive. Frank Stallone was. Yes. So do you think Frank was like, fuck you, Sylvester? That is my thing. That's me.

Well, you're the boxer, I'm the singer. I was- Shit head? I was actually talking to someone about this movie just today, and they read an original draft of the Rocky screenplay. And in the Rocky screenplay, there was a subplot where Rocky also wanted to become a singer. And it was cut out of Rock.

I have that on high authority. So this has been something that he has been trying to shoehorn in for a long time. And for you to say, Frank Stallone, if there is anything that Frank Stallone is better than still fly at, it's probably singing. I feel like, I think he got that gene. I also love the fact that this is post-Rocky 3,

so he's a huge star. And they're like, yeah, this is the script we got. It's okay. Who do we got that can punch this up? Who's like a big punch-up artist in town? Sylvester Stallone. Get him. Well, here's the thing. The guy who wrote the original screenplay, Who's like a big punch up artist in town? Sylvester Stallone. Get him.

Well here's the thing, the guy who wrote the original screenplay, Phil Alden Robinson, who wrote Field of Dreams, wanted to take his name off this movie after Stallone did his extensive changes to the screenplay. He wrote Field of Dreams, he also wrote Sneakers, which is a great movie. Yeah, great movie. And they took the movie from him

and gave it to Sebastian Stallone. I'm gonna punch his up. Well, he writes every one of his movies. He's gotta write it, because he's a comedian. Oh. If you give it to him, he will sing. I can only imagine how upset that writer must have been to get back that script.

Like, what have you done? What have you done with it? Because there is... It's just, it's also like an extremely complicated premise. Like, I feel like if you wanted to work backwards into him singing and even being a country singer, you could get there, but the way they get there in this movie is just like it's baffling.

Oh yeah, it's New York City, the hub of country music. Okay. Okay. Uh-oh, the challenge is you have to teach him to be a country music star. Where you gonna go? Tennessee. So what? But also the stakes for him are not to become a country music singer, but to get his cab back. To get his own cab. His own cab back. Now what I really took issue with is a couple times in the movie they keep on saying that Dolly is the reason why he got fired from the taxi cab company.

Now from what we just saw. Because she's a woman and she shouldn't have big boobs. Okay. Okay. From the scene we just saw, he just was driving willy nilly and crashed into a sidewalk. He says later on that he was looking at her and that's why he crashed. But then Dolly also says,

I got him fired from his taxi cab. I couldn't, I agree with you. That is, that made no sense to me. That's absurd. I think a Dolly is a punching bag in a lot of ways. Did you see Steel Magnolias guys? She stays with these guys that are bad for her. Have you seen Straight Talk?

I love Dolly so much. Straight Talk is the best Dolly Parton movie ever. If you haven't seen it, it's incredible. Here's the other weird thing about Dolly and the way she's written in the movie. He's also complaining that she's a nag. No, that she's no fun basically. Like there's a big theme that she's not fun.

And even her dad is like, he's right. You're kind of a turd. By the way, who's Richard Farnsworth, who's one of my favorite characters. I love him. But this movie especially is a rule I have about him where it always feels like he doesn't realize he's in a movie. Where he's like, oh, why are the cameras here? Well, we'll just continue to play pretend.

We're moving on. we're moving on. It's amazing. Were we shooting? Yeah. How did this get me? How did this get me? How did this get me? To go back to the plot confusion of it,

New York, hub of country music, Tennessee to learn. So how do you teach someone to be a country singer? Show them how to chop wood? Show them how to ride a pony? Show them how to walk? Show them how to walk? Show them how to chop wood. Show him how to ride a pony. Show him how to walk. Show him how to walk. These are things... Singing! Singing would be the first.

Well, they have work. Getting by a piano and just banging out some notes. They appear to have to turn him into a cowboy in order for him to successfully be able to sing a country song. Because all cowboys are good singers? Which is flogging. Apparently.

Wow. You know, yeah, okay, what do you think inflation has changed in 30 years? This is 30 years ago, 1984. Dude, are we really going to get into an economics discussion right now? Because this movie made $22 million in 1984. But it was a huge failure because the budget was 28. Which is even crazier. Yeah, so that was like an $80 million movie.

This was like an Avatar made no money. Well, I do think that they're like, perfect. This guy's coming off of Rambo. This is going to be a huge hit. No one like looked at the script or the tone or the content of it. This is, yeah, it was a mess. I didn't like this movie. I wrote, this movie is cringingly bad.

I feel bad for the people in it. I genuinely at times felt bad for Sylvester Stallone because I was watching someone try so hard to do something they were failing at and their best attempts were on screen. Well, here's... Because here's the thing. Singing, I really do think it's like,

it's one of those things, you're a singer or you're not. Like, you can either do that or you can't do that. And so what's strange is like, he must have known his, what the actor's ability, like he knew what he could do before going into this oh yes well I think he knew he was a comedian this movie is hubris right like he thinks he can do anything at this point exactly this is the moment where he he does Cobra a year later oh flawless well I mean here this is an

interesting fact Stallone turned down the Michael Douglas role in Romancing the Stone, the Eddie Murphy role in Beverly Hills Cop to make this movie. Because he's a comedian. He really thinks he is. Have you seen Oscar? Oh yeah of course, yeah yes. Um, he's great in that too. He's a good straight, he's a good straight man. Like Tango and Cash is legitimately a fantastic movie. I love that movie so much. Have you done it on here?

No, we have not. Oh my god. I've got that film on the list. Remember it well. Oh, it's Sylvester Sloan and Kurt Russell. I think I'm confusing it with Tequila Sun. No, no, this is like the heyday of Kurt Russell's like beautiful hair. Oh, no, that heyday continues my friend.

Yeah, that's true, that's true. That man has the best hair in Hollywood. Right, you're right, I'm correct. Let's show you a clip of the comedy. This is like probably the, I would think a centerpiece comedy scene. It's about his big organ. Yeah, do you play an instrument?

Yeah, I can sort of play a couple of chords in his organ I have at home. Hey, I'll tell you what. Why don't you come to my house and you can teach me a new song. Go to your house, huh? I suppose that's so you can show me your organ, right? Why do you think I'm counting you?

I'm telling you, I really do have this big organ. Thank you. All right, we'll go to your place and you can show me your organ. But I'm warning you, it best be having music coming out of it. You got it. He plays it like Jim Carrey in the Ace Ventura era. And what you can't, for the people at home, you can't see that there's an extra in that scene,

who when he hears big organs, like, oh, what? And then when he hears it again, gives him a thumbs up. Any extra on any movie worth its salt, like, get that guy out of there, or can we not let you out of there? No, you know why? You know what I think? I think they put that guy in there

to make sure people got the double entendre. Absolutely. I think they had that guy in there so make sure people got the double entendre. Absolutely. I think they had that guy in there so people would be like, uh, uh. Oh shit, dude, rewind this. You just missed a fucking great joke. And then still have to rewind it.

So at the end, puts on sunglasses with the flare as if he's doing like a Buster Keaton like comedic routine. I also love in the 80s where he's like, hey, we're going to do your hair for this movie. And he's like, you make me look like a microphone. There's one of them. Perfectly shaped. Like I have a Madonna halo around my head. One of the insults, one of the insults when he's trying to sing and he's getting heckled

is is that a hairstyle or a launching pad? Jesus. Written by Sylvester Stallone. You didn't enjoy this movie, did you? I hated this movie. I hated this movie. Also, by the way, when you bring up the audience heckling, another thing that I didn't enjoy this movie. I hated this movie. I hated this movie. When you bring up the audience heckling,

another thing that I didn't know about country music is the art of slams. Your mama jokes is a big, like, you know, when you go see like a Waylon Jennings concert, he's always being like, shut up, your mama's so fat that when she sits around the house, she sits around the house, two, three, four, and I lost my woman to a man with a horse.

I love Dolly Parton in this movie. I actually was like, wow, she's, I thought she was very attractive, but she also dresses like a, like a caricature of someone in a cowboy movie. Yes. Like Mae West is like, tone it down. of someone in a cowboy movie. Yes. Like Mae West is like, tone it down. Richard Farnsworth in this movie, the actor who plays her father,

who we were describing as not quite knowing if he's in scenes, describes Stallone's character as slow witted. If that gives you an idea of where on the spectrum people are falling, Stallone is acting like a cartoon character in most of the movie. When they go, one of my favorite things is the scene where he goes to the, I was saying, he plays the organ, but there's a funeral, and his dad comes up and yells at him, he's

like, what are you doing? This is crazy. It can't be it. Oh, this is crazy. And then he sees Dolly Parton and he's like, oh, oh, God. And then his dad's like, what's this girl? This girl, is this girl for you? Is this girl for you?

If you can't handle this girl, you tell me, because I can handle a girl like this. If you need help, you got, I'm pretty sure he's like, if you need me to come and double team Dolly Parton with you, you give me the word. At which point I'm thinking, the mom must be out of the picture.

Not true. No, she serves them lunch and she's furious. She serves them lunch while Dali's there and the dad is like, oh fuck. I'm gonna eat this cannoli like it's your fucking bush. What's going on? But they also treat Stallone, that may have been an edited line from the movie.

Don't reward that. They also treat him like he is a child. Like he's asking for permission from his parents to go to Tennessee with a weird woman to win a contest to get a kid. Like, okay, we'll let you go, son. He leaves his home to go with a stranger. Well, he takes a bet from two strangers.

It's like a trading places bet. And leaves to go to the valley, because that was no way shot in Tennessee. That was the tightest interior shots on everything. It was just porches, all porches. Yeah, all porches. And my wife walks in and she's just like, is this little house on the Prairie?

Why does it look like they're in an old timey house? Nobody's that poor. And then she, my wife, I have to say, asks the same question of every movie we watch. She's like, so do you think they had sex? Like, do you think they actually had sex with each other while they were shooting? Because I think they had sex.

Anderson, you bring that up, because it was rumored for years that Dolly cheaped on her husband with sly during this movie. Their chemistry was undeniable. It was rumored for years that Dolly Cheapdunner, her husband, was sly during this movie. Their chemistry was undeniable. Wow. Wow.

Pompable. Pompable. Pompable. June, did you think they had good chemistry? There was a scene or two where I thought, something's happening, something's happening here. When they kissed, I thought that she would kiss him, but I thought that she would kiss him to but I thought that she would kiss him like,

to be like, I wonder what like a New York guy tastes like or something. Like I feel like it was like more of a, riot. June, is that the way women think? I'll try a taco I've never had, I don't think I'll like it, but I'll try it. Is that the way women think? Like I need to taste the men of the country.

I wonder what a Chicago guy tastes like. Ooh, he tastes like deep dish. He tastes like diesel fumes and sweat. It is interesting. If you have watched a lot of Dolly Parton movies, the similar part she plays is that she's like this sweet, like, down-home country girl who's had sex with everybody. Like, she's like, that guy screwed me over,

that guy screwed me over. They sing a song in the movie that's like, their first duet is like, that guy screwed me over, that guy screwed me over. They sing a song in the movie that's like, their first duet is like, it's not about love, it's just a one night stand. But I guess we always catch up with her after she's learned her lesson. Like her movie is over and she's now wizened. Like she's never back, like you never see her being.

No, she's trying to get, I think the thing is she's trying to get out from under. You know, this actually I feel like is the Dolly Parton story like she's a child it poor she or she sees the prostitute in town and says that woman is beautiful I want to look like her when I grow up and she dresses like the prostitute and that this is true this is Dolly Parton story and then she becomes a country music star because she's part of Porter Wagner's situation and the husband in this, I'm spacing his name. Freddie Hugo?

Barnett. Barnett. Barnett. Oh yeah. He's a Porter Wagner stand-in, right? Yeah. So she, because they used to be singing partners and they were involved, but he was keeping her down

so she had to escape from him and get away and got involved with a bad manager. I feel like a lot of this is weirdly Dolly Parton's actual weird life. That's Stallone Road. Yep. Well, according to you, Dolly Parton's life sucks. Except that she is one of the most triumphant

and amazing singer-songwriters in American history. Which is amazing I've ever seen with a Dolly Parton concert. This movie is excruciating to watch absolutely How many times are you like? Wow, she's a really good singer And songwriter and songwriter how many how many years difference do you think between Dolly and Stallone? I She's ageless. I have no idea. I have no idea how old she is.

She could be a 90. It's actually really hard because of the wigs. The wigs. And the makeup, because I don't know, they could. I do. I feel like there's. You do know? I do, but I want you to continue, yeah.

I feel like maybe they're around the same age. Yeah. I feel like... Oh, boy. I don't... I feel like they're... So I know pictures of her as a kid are all in black and white. Okay. We at least have that nugget.

I'm guessing she's older than him by less than 10 years. Okay, exactly the same age. Really? Exactly the same age. Wow. Wow. Exactly the same age. Do you think she went from best little whorehouse in Texas

to this and was like, ah fuck, Burt Reynolds. He really had the comedy chops that she was used to. Yeah, and then she's like, ah, fuck, Burt Reynolds. He really had the comedy chops that she was used to. Yeah, and then she's like, ah, fuck, so that's just a lot. And then after this, it was like James Woods, right? She eventually makes it to Queen Latifah. Somehow that, like, from Burt Reynolds to Queen Latifah finally has made it across the board.

Oh, thank God. We haven't even gotten into Drinkenstein. Oh. Drinkenstein is a song that Stallone sings where he becomes a monster after he drinks Budweiser called Drinkenstein. Do you have the clip? I do have the clip.

Pretty positive. Here we go. Check out that bulge. But Wazir you created a monster and they call him Freya. Freya. Freya. Freya. Freya. Freya. Freya. Freya.

Freya. Freya. Freya. Freya. Freya. Freya. Freya. Freya.

Freya. Freya. Freya. Freya. Freya. Fre call him Freakin' Stank. And the tavern down the street is the laboratory where he makes the transformation all the time. Sorry, cut off a little bit early. He's wearing a cowboy hat that has multiple, like, tails on it.

You know? He's dressed like, oh. This is a pet peeve of mine in comedy, by the way. It really is. It happens to me, and I bet it happens to all of us here quite a bit. You go in and you're like doing like a small part on something. You like come in to do a funny couple scenes.

And they're like, I got this costume for you that's hilarious. And you're like, why does my costume have to be funny? Can't I just be funny? Why do I have to? This is a comedy. I do feel like Stallone though requested funny costumes. Oh Stallone, he's a comedian.

Yeah, he was like, I need more, can't this be a funnier costume? Yeah. This is a thing I really wanted to get into. When they go to a bar, the guy, the Tim Thomerson Barnett says, I like my beer foamy. That's not a thing. No one requests a foamy beer. I lived in Amsterdam for three years, and all beers are served with two fingers of foam at the top.

They won't take a beer without foam at the top. Okay, so maybe he is from Amsterdam. He is a European cowboy. I will say, I will say, I will buy that, but his foam was literally from top to bottom of glass. That's good joke writing. Do you think that was to show that he was an idiot? No, I actually feel like I don't know what that was.

It didn't seem like a character choice. It didn't even seem like a joke. It just seemed like if I was a kid, that would be like something I would be like, oh, that's how adults order things. And then I'd be severely disappointed. I wrote down a joke. I don't know the context. I don't know who said it.

I don't remember because I hate this movie. But I'm reading this line and I'm like, it's pretty funny. Quote, you sound like baby Hitler. That is in the movie, right? Where is that from? That's, Stallone says that about Dolly when she's telling him, I think, to like mix his peas and mashed potatoes together.

She's saying, he says- Country. Yeah, she says, you're a big idiot. And he says, well, you're baby Hitler. You sound like baby Hitler. She's making him do too many things. Baby Hitler, very bossy. It's mine, mine, mine.

Very good, thank you guys. Again, another way to teach someone how to sing, make them eat biscuits with gravy, not butter. That was the scene that we just saw the baby Hitler in. This movie was worse than a Dukes of Hazzard episode than all of the Dukes of Hazzard episodes. Like this is not, this section of the movie felt like the Dukes of Hazzard to me for some reason.

Yeah, because it was shot in the same back lot. When they, probably was. When they go to Tennessee and all of the movie felt like the Dukes of Hazzard to me for some reason. Yeah, because it was shot in the same back lot. It probably was. When they go to Tennessee and all of the cra- everybody here are like such bold stereotypes. Obviously the Asian family at the beginning. All the hillbillies are like crazy stereotypes. All the Italian families, crazy. But there were so many moments in the Tennessee section where I desperately wanted the General Lead us be through and Freeze Frame and Wayland Jennings be like,

well, the Duke boys have gotten themselves in real pickle this time. What's Nick gonna do next? This movie felt like an ax, you know what I mean? Are you talking ax of the movie? I got to the hour point and I was like, ah, it's over. Holy shit, there's 30 more minutes. I thought it was over.

I thought the next scene, he's gonna go sing in the bar. This huge other plot of like, she's jealous of him. Well, that's the thing that I really wanted to get into. The third act of this movie comes out of nowhere. They literally have sex. It looks like they are together as a couple, and they're having a fine time. When did they have sex?

Remember when they kiss and she goes, there's just one more thing I want to find out about you. Like his dick size. Oh. Did they have sex in that scene? I wasn't paying attention. No, no, no, later at the end, and in, not with the scene with the extra.

No. No, I was saying I didn't understand it later on because the extra wasn't there. Oh. Ah. Ha ha ha. Got it. I didn't know.

If he had been there doing that. If that extra popped up in the window. Thumbs up. Thumbs up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. If that extra popped up in the window, thumbs up. Yeah, yeah. There are multiple jokes made about Sly and Dolly trying to hook up in the house where Richard Farnsworth is, but he's like, I hear you, basically.

And then it kind of scuttles them. But then at the time when they do have sex, Richard Farnsworth is still right there. Like he's listening to them like pound it out. And you're right about the house that, well we've never really seen the scope of the house. No, you never see the outside completely. Except for the Walton's good nights.

When we see them in the kitchen, it does look like it's a two bedroom situation. Like it's a tiny, tiny home. Well, the bathroom is very small where Stallone is singing into his toothbrush and Dolly and the dad come in and they're all kind of like, uh oh, cramped. Yeah, there's no noise machines or air conditioners.

So if you could hear a mouse fucking on cotton, you could hear, you know, Dolly and Stallone going at it. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. A mouse fucking on cotton? Never heard that expression. Never heard, is that a line from this movie? No, no. It sounds like a country song.

No, it was so quiet, you could hear a mouse fucking on cotton. You've never heard that? Another mouse or the cotton? The cotton would be the bed for the mouse because he doesn't have a bed. It cotton would be the bed for the mouse because he doesn't have a bed. It would just be a cotton place where he'd be.

Mice don't just sleep on the ground willy-nilly. But why couldn't it just be- They gather up cotton. They make beds. Like a nest, like a mouse nest. Like a mouse bed? Yes. No, just a cotton ball.

So the mouse- An adorable cotton ball. But are they making- How big is this mouse? It's a pretty small mouse. It's gotta be because I don't think of the cotton ball as the pillow. Wait, Juno, where are you on this analogy?

What I'm curious about is the cotton making noise? Like what are we hearing? The cotton is killing the noise. Yeah. Of what? The fucking? Yeah. That's how quiet it is.

That's how quiet it is. Sorry, right now, right now, try to get it so quiet that you can imagine two mice fucking on cotton. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

Quiet. You shut your fucking mouth. You shut your fucking mouth. You shut your fucking mouth. You shut your fucking mouth. You ruined it for everyone. You ruined it for everyone. Oh, we hate you.

Oh, we hate you. Oh, we hate you. Oh, we hate you. Oh, we hate you. What am I listening to? We're trying to find the imagination. Your imagination. I feel like what I would hear would be the mice squeaking. That's what I'd say. And the cotton being there or not.

It's irrelevant. There's just two mice squeaking on the floor or squeaking on cotton. The cotton isn't dampening the sound of the floor. That's what you're wrong. There's no springs. That, no, it is, maybe it's like two smurfs fucking on cotton.

The cotton is. Now we can get into this. Because now I'm curious. I think the Cotton is, Cotton is a suck sound. We know that. Cotton sucks sound. Oh, my point was,

they can hear Dolly Parton in Slice, fuck it. Oh, by the way, there was a cliche in this movie that drives me insane of, like, two people are about to kiss, right? And then you say something, right? So I'm about to kiss him, be like... Say something. No.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, I didn't get it. Let's try it again. I want to play this game with Jason. So we're like, oh yeah, I really want to kiss.

Oh, hey. Oh, well I guess we can't kiss now. Like that has ever stopped anybody in the history of time. Someone said something and then they, Richard Farnsworth says something, they're about to kiss and then they're like, and then he walks away and they're like, yeah, I guess we're not gonna kiss now.

No, they leave and then you fucking kiss the person. That's how the real world works. She has huge boobs. There comes a point though when she has to take off that corset and it must be a- She's just blood. Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs!

Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs!

Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs!

Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! She's got caught in the subway. You ever see like, you know, like a car impales them in a tree, or they get caught in the subway tracks, it's like, well if we pull out the subway, they'll die. If she ever takes off her dress, she'll die. I'm just gonna be,

I'm just gonna be. I love Dolly Parton like truly. I love her too, so much. True love. And even in this god awful movie, she is still somehow, like, transcendently wonderful. Um, every time she... I think so, too.

What's that? I really do, too. Every time she opens her mouth, it's funny. Every time she sings, it's amazing. And in those moments, you're like, wow, unstoppable, unstoppable. She's a queen. She's unstoppable. And then fucking everybody else in the movie,

like, it takes a shit all over everything. Yeah, that's why honestly I didn't hate the movie because I liked seeing her outfits. I like seeing all the different clothes she got to wear. And also, her voice is so beautiful. Yeah, it is. That I'll watch this horrible movie just to hear her sing in those scenes.

Great. And she sings a lot. She sings a lot. I do think that you could take a lesson from Dolly Parton because she is above it all. She makes it work. She makes that chemistry between the two of them where you're like, oh yeah, I guess Sylvester Stallone is kind of a cute, roguish kind of guy. But it's only because she's playing. He's a boarish asshole. Who wants to get back to driving a cab. He's like, I can't take this.

She has strapped this movie to her heavily corseted body and is carrying it for the 90 some odd minutes that it lasts that I sincerely wanted to kill myself during. She is like a champion of this movie and the entire plot of it is like so borderline hateful towards her character and yet she still comes out shining. There is a- Love you Dolly.

Call me. If you've ever dated a musician, Shining there's a love you Dolly Call me If you've ever dated a musician If you're a daily musician and they're like in bed or around the house and they're like playing the guitar or piano It's the most the dream of mine is the most annoying thing in the world. No Why oh, it's just so goddamn annoying. I'm hanging out, Norah Jones is playing piano in bed. Ah boo boo, boo boo boo boo boo boo. But if it's Dolly Parton, I don't think it would ever get annoying. No.

I really don't think it would. I actually buy it. It definitely wouldn't. I buy that she sits in the dark and plays guitar before she goes to sleep. I believe it. I truly believe that. And then she takes off her corset. And her boobs, like, inflate to fill the entire room. She sleeps on her boobs.

It's like two mice fucking on Dolly Parton's boobs. Let's go to the audience. Let's see what questions you guys have. I mean we have a lot of, oh, people have notes. We always like people with notes because you've done the research. All right, so, all right, who has got, you've got a question, here we go. Your name, who you think is a better singer, Dolly or Stallone?

And your question. I'm Allie, I also obviously think that Dolly Parton is amazing, so Dolly Parton, I'm sorry. I mean, as a singer, though. Right. Who do you think is a better singer, Dolly Parton is amazing, so Dolly Parton, I'm sorry. I mean as a singer though. Right. Like who do you think is a better singer, Dolly Parton or Stallone? I'm sorry, do Stallone.

Okay, great, perfect, that's what I thought. How are we supposed to believe that Stallone ever learned how to sing if there wasn't a montage? That's a really good point. It seems like that's the only thing that wasn't in the training montage. You never saw anyone teaching him singing. It was like, if you eat this way, if you chop this way, if you ride this way.

I have the thought on that. He cannot sing. In order for that to succeed, he has to be able to sing poorly and then be able to sing better. You need the capability in your actor of before and after. It's not happening here. We've got two befores. So he never learns how to sing.

That's part of the problem. This movie is horrible. Let's all kill ourselves. Also, also, do you remember Richard Farnsworth teaching him Old McDonald had a farm? Oh yeah. Oh boy. He was such an asshole. You can't just try to sing Old McDonald had a farm for a second.

If you can't do that, why am I watching the rest of this fucking movie? I want to get to, I do want to get to the bottom of why he was, it was ever acceptable that when he would sing, like when he sang Tutti Frutti, he was like, Tutti Frutti, oh, really, Tutti Frutti, oh, Tutti Frutti, Tutti Frutti, oh, really, like it was like, like that's not acceptable. Like, that's not acceptable. Like, he didn't copy it. Like, if he was like... Like, that's not bad tone. That's not even like a conception of anything. He has no rhythm? He's saying it's...

It's not even rhythm. It's what that is. Like, because even a bad singer would be like, Trudy Fruity, oh, Rudy. Here's the thing about the way he's singing. I know what you're saying about it being a comedic choice, but the way he sings Trudy Fruity, it's almost as though he's like hearing the song wrong.

Like. Like he heard it on a fast, like a sped up record. He also doesn't know the words to the song. Yeah, it's this frenetic like retelling, like he never got the information correctly in the first place. Maybe his record player is stuck on the fast side. He only hears records super fast.

Sir, what would you call the movie, your name and your question? Here you go. My name's Paul, I'm from England originally, but. Didn't ask. Get it, we heard your accent, we get it. You're an America now. USA, USA, USA, USA.

He is actually wearing a Captain America t-shirt, so I think he's on board. He's on board. All right, your question. Well, I worked for a TV station in the UK and Sylvester Stallone did an interview where he was actually mad that everyone thought that he couldn't sing in this movie because he was shortlisted for an Oscar in 1978 for best song from a single from the movie Paradise Alley. For taking Paradise.

That is true. And he was shortlisted for an Oscar so he was pissed that people didn't think he could sing. Because on that song, he actually can sing. So he was saying, like, he was mad. So that's why he made this movie? No, I'm kidding. Here's what's weird, but he didn't even give himself an opportunity to sing in this movie. Right. Like, he could have, like, was. He said it's a parody of himself.

But he says it like as if he was not in control, like if someone made this movie without his consent. This all comes back to what I've been saying. He said he's a parody of himself. He was trying to be, cause he's a comedian. Guys, Sylvester Stallone is a fucking comedian. All right, here we go. Tango cash. Your question, what you'd call the movie,

and your name. My name is Mishka. I would call the movie What Did He Say? Oh, great. My question was, his first performance in Tennessee, why was he given a guitar to play when he already told Dolly that he only played a little bit of organ? Great question. In his first performance in Tennessee, why was he given a guitar to play when he already told Dolly that he only played

a little bit of organ? Great question. It really stacked the day. And yeah, he learned how to play guitar, right? Or was he playing guitar at the end? Sort of, but no, not in the diamond jumpsuit he was in. Okay. Wow.

Didn't he look like Don Cheadle in Boogie Nights? No. No. No. No. Does the song Rhinestone Cowboy ever get sung? Never, in the whole movie. Oh, but guys, but the movie is based on that song. That is a title in the beginning. Based on the song Rhinestone Cowboy,

which I don't believe, that song is not about a woman taking a cabi from New York to Tennessee to win a competition or she'll get fucked by a sleazebag. I'm not super familiar with it, but I don't remember that being. So just to get back to the third act for a second, so after he sings at that last performance in Nashville, he feels... Oh's such a good singer at that point that it's no longer about the bet.

No, he's going to be a professional. He doesn't want the cab anymore. He doesn't want the cab anymore, but still decides to not stay in the South, but to pursue the country music scene in New York City. Because the height of country music. It's in New York City, right. Okay, great, great, great, great. He's gonna get on stage in the rhinestone.

What are a couple famous country singers who came out of New York? Like, um... Um... Who was, um... Like all of them? Yeah. Johnny Patch, Raelyn Jennings,

George Jones, Bill Monroe. Uh, okay. Your name, title for Rhinestone, and your question. My name is Jason, and I would say cool name bro killing it stop killing it Jase movie should be the hardest movie to find because I had to get a bootleg of

this movie but um actually Mike I had a question for you guys what you guys thought of the suicidal cowboy at the start of the movie who was singing in the cowboy bar because I would have liked to have followed his story because he had a very tragic story about his wife getting shredded oh this is amazing actually have a clip of it I do have a clip I'm gonna play it I'll come back to you guys yeah I thought that was what's that guy's name? The country music singer. Dwight Yoakam.

Dwight Yoakam. I thought it was Dwight Yoakam, so I looked it up, but it's not Dwight Yoakam. How many people, did you guys watch the movie here tonight or before you came? Before they came. How many people stole it offline? Yeah!

I bought it off of Amazon. For a dollar. I now own a DVD of this off of Amazon. For a dollar. I now own a DVD of this piece of shit. It is? Well here is the guy, and you'll see like he bends a mic stand, and I think you'll see a quick Frank Stallone cameo in this as well he's a yeller or heckler he got I know he does get another mic stand here we go so here we go this guy he bends the mic stand throws it down this is a

song I wrote for my baby. He's got a cigar on his soul. Like the one on his face in the hit and miss inside. All right, so, I know, sorry, it was a quick clip. But he's viewed as being terrible. No, well, this song here, he's like, everybody's like, oh, that's pretty good. Yeah, not bad, not bad. But then the song gets super crazy. The song gets super crazy, and everybody's like, fuck you!

Because again, this is the talent show thing where hecklers rule and nobody's ever passed before. I was severely disappointed when he never came back. When you realize that he's not the villain of the movie or something, and you're like, oh no, that's just one scene? God damn it, that was great. You love that guy. I love that guy.

This movie is really like a precursor to The Voice, right guys? Yeah. You know, like really just taking someone, plucking their talent, really working with them. They get a mentor. It's so good. Who did some research?

I know people have research, I wanna make sure. No, no one? All right, you did some research. I like to reward research. All right, here we go. Your name, your question here. You go. My name is Walter the question I found weird was when he scoots up next to us for so long at the bar, and he asked him about doing heroin Yeah, I forgot about that Say you're from New York have you ever done heroin

Stallone control alt save. Knocked out that scene, now I'm gonna go get fucked. Boom, I've got one of the very first computers in the world. I write on it. And I have a robot for a maid. That movie was written one year later. Rocky IV, Rocky. If you look at Stallone's trajectory, he was making, writing, and directing movies

at such a rate, your mind would explode. He directed Staying Alive, then the next year he was doing this, then the next year he was writing and directing Rocky III. He was writing and directing. He was the Woody Allen of the 80s. I think he produced even more than Woody Allen. Oh yeah, okay.

He made 48 films in four years. I think. All right, come on. Your name, your question, here you go. Hi, my name is Brian. So the song, Drinkenstein, which was one, a a Razzie. Yes for the worst song of that year. So I there's no montage of it in a Stallone movie but it's unknown like did the Stallone character write the song is it a song in this universe that's a very popular country song that

they're covering just to kind of work out the bugs and is you know trying like hey try this song let's see you, it's a simple chord, one, two, three, drinking style, or did the whole band like jam together and they're like, hey we got this costume, why don't you put this on and let's work up that song you did like half an hour ago and let's do that. Well first of all, if you really would commit to the costume, I'd like you to make bolts out of Budweiser cans and put them in his neck.

Yeah, that is unclear if that was an original Frank or whatever his name is in the movie. What was the name of the backing band that would like her friend? Wild Possums. The what? Wild Possums. Something possum.

Wild Possums. Wild Possums. Wild Possums. Like the Wild Stallions. Ugh. Bill and Ted. Wild possums. Wild possums? Yeah. Like the wild stallions. Ugh. Bill and Ted. I got upset. Was that like, do you think the Budweiser

was product placement? Oh, no, I don't think the Budweiser's advocating that when you drink it, you become a monster. A drinking monster. Good point. I actually am surprised that Budweiser let them keep that in there. Someone was like, hey, we could get sued because we're saying that our alcohol makes you a fucking monster.

I was surprised Jeff Healy wasn't in this movie. He seems to be in all of our terrible country movies. Yeah, you're naming your question. Here you go. My name's Laura, and mine is more of an observation, or I was concerned about Dolly Parton every time they sang a duet that she was gonna get head butted by Sly.

I didn't know if anybody else had that concern, but I was worried for her health. Well, I'm sure there is a hilarious blooper reel for this movie. Where he beats her with his head butt. If you want to headbutt Dolly, you got to get past those titties from that far.

I'm telling you, when they shoot her from the side, it's upsetting. I'm just, just a handful of them. I don't agree. I don't think it's upsetting. Would you guys like to, would you guys like to see a little bit of their duet? Here is, here's when Dolly and him come together. I don't know how the magic happens.

So much so that in this movie, the minute they get on stage together, the credits roll. They don't even let you see it full screen. Like, yeah, get the fuck out of here. We're done. Go, go, go. Here we go. If you don't wanna play in my fantasy Stay out of my bedroom Baby, if you can't take the heat If you want it, come on and get it, baby Satisfaction guaranteed I'm a pleaser, free and eager. Again, it's the apex of the movie. One over this crowd full of people. Easy loving, that's how I am.

I might be easy, but at least I am. Stay out of my face. I feel the fit of all of you. Stay out of my face. Again, I'm pausing for one second, just to remind everyone, this crowd has been set up as a crowd full of the New York City's best hecklers.

Yep. They were paid to heckle, but yet that song, the power of that song, which is really just one chorus repeated over and over and over and over again, gets them out of their seats. But honestly, and be honest, because again, this movie is reprehensible.

Doesn't it get good when she starts singing? Yes, it's awesome. Like, it's laughable when he's trying to sing. When she comes out and starts singing, it's like, okay, this isn't that bad. It's great. What? They sound horrible together? You get out.

You get out. Get out of my show. She's doing the best she can. She's doing the best. I mean, she sounds so bad, they have no harmony. It's like Mozart trying to play, you know, a piece in a rat running around the keyboard. It's like two mice fucking on God.

Obviously we had an opinion about this movie, but now it is time for a second opinion. These are five star reviews called from Amazon, and these are amazing. I actually did a couple more than normal just because they are amazing. Okay, R.W. Dubois says, the first time I saw this movie,

I thought I would die laughing. And I was, and I did. And I was, and I did. And I was, and I did. And I was, and I did. And I was, and I did. Critics panned it because they thought Sly Stallone wanted to break into the music business.

Not true. It's just the movie. Too bad they can't tell the difference between reality and fiction. We all know he can't sing. That's why he's perfect. Five stars. He's perfect. Five stars.

Five stars. Um. That's just, yeah, so just quickly, do you think he does have a career after this song? I mean, obviously he's won his taxi back. Oh, do you think that they go off and like perform in New York City's high flute? Yeah.

I'd like to think so. There's no way. There's no way. This is the height for him. It's only- That night is the height? This is the best night of his life. Yes.

This character. I kind of see a sequel like Crowdy Kid 2. Like it picks up right after this night. He's tallying off. They beat up that guy and they go to Tennessee again. Well it is weird because she, in the fight before this, she says to him, like, you know, when she realizes

he wants more than just this night, she tells him he's not gonna make it. And so I guess we're to believe that she also thinks he's gonna be a huge New York City country music star. I just- Because he got a hip-hop beginning, right? I just realized something. Stallone wrote in both this movie and Staying Alive, the female character telling the main guy he can't make it,

and him having to triumph over that negative assessment of him in order to win. So Stallone hates the main guy. Also in the movie over... Also the movie Over the top is the same. Oh we've, we're familiar with over the top. Yeah. Right, but it's the same thing.

Oh don't you worry, it's a love story between the man and the woman. Well and now Robert Loja is telling him he can't win. Yeah, but it's his wife, his ex-wife not believing in him. Well no, his ex-wife is insane. His ex-wife's in a mental institution. Right.

But Robert Loja keeps her in. Her ex-wife is kind of supporting him 100%. By the way, Stallone, if anything, has really good taste in music. I mean, getting Dolly Parton, over the top is Kenny Loggins. You know what I mean? He's a, look, he's...

Oh, he gets it. Frank Stallone? Seven songs, staying alive. Here's another review. Rambo can't sing, but he's funny. Stallone has a gift for comedy that his fans don't recognize. Rhinestone is hilarious. I think too many of his fans expected him

to actually become a country singer by the end of Rhinestone, thereby missing out on all the humor scenes between him and Dolly Parton. I don't understand that logic. And then I've been wanting to purchase this movie for 10 years. But everyone's defending this movie by going, hey, shit.

Do people see movies and be like, oh, classic Daniel Day-Lewis, obviously gonna be President Lincoln after this. He's doing all the work. It's clearly what he's gearing up for. Like, do people think that of performances? Yes, people are that stupid. I can tell you, from firsthand, people are that stupid.

100%. This one by Krista F. O'Neil. If you're too cool to watch a movie about Dolly Parton trying to turn Sylvester Stallone into a country music star, then guess what? You're an idiot. Five stars.

She sounds cool. This is the one that I was really confused by. Five out of five stars titled Wardrobe by Matt Smith. Get ready for this. The robe that Freddie Ugo wore had blue satin on silk. Who made that? How can I buy the robe yet on when she went to rent his room to call the bet?

That's the outfit that you're gonna pick in the entire movie? What are you talking about? He's wearing like a weird kimono. Where do you buy that? Where do you buy that? Five stars. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna write on Amazon, somebody's gonna see it, they're gonna give me a heads up. Uh, Judy, Judy Schinsky writes, my mom loves this movie with every bone in her body. I myself can't stand it.

So I'm rating this movie for her. I've seen this movie, and from what I've seen, I'm surprised that they'd actually make this movie. But that's not what my mom would say. She would say it's a great movie and everyone should own a copy. I just can't stand it. This review isn't gonna be helpful, so what can I say?

You should really rent movies before you buy them anyways. No. No. No. No. No. What went on in that household? Judy, Judy, go on Amazon, review the movie for me.

Judy, please. Let them know what I think. I don't Judy, Judy, go on Amazon, review the movie for me. Judy, please. Let them know what I think. I don't wanna do a movie. Judy, please. Give it a thumbs up from me. They don't do thumbs on Amazon. Whatever they do, as many as they want.

Judy should have just not have reviewed this movie. And then the second to last one here is just another interesting insight. Wanna laugh? Stallone is hilarious in this film. Made my mother-in-law laugh. Really fun to see her laugh. She hates me. Now, this is a first, and I just thought because it was a first I had to read it. There was a fight on the Amazon reviews.

So Daniel Becker in a very lengthy review slammed this movie, gave it one star, and his point number seven was... And finally, complicity with the theory that Sylvester Stallone is an alien life form sent here to reap carnage on mankind, capable of single-handedly destroying art and culture with little more than a typewriter and the ability to form catastrophic phrases

out of the heart of the human race. to reap carnage on mankind, capable of single-handedly destroying art and culture with little more than a typewriter and the ability to form catastrophic phrases out of seemingly benign language, i.e. Guru of doo-doo, run for the love that is all holy, run. Then someone writes in the positive section, Daniel Becker, shut your mouth. Daniel Becker does not know real talent when he sees it.

How low-minded are you when you run down a top celebrity? Sure, I respect your opinion, but it's so narrow-minded, you when you run down a top celebrity? Sure, I respect your opinion, but it's so narrow-minded, I wanna puke. If you don't like Stallone, then why would you see a movie he's in? Eh, eh, eh, eh. That's what I thought.

You don't know because you're a complete jerk. If you can't say something nice about an amazing guy, don't say anything at all. If Stallone really is an alien, and there is some kind of contest between Stallone versus humans, I think the results are in. I think we won. All I'm going to say is I think the aliens won. Anything left to add?

I miss him. I miss Sylvester Stallone. I really do. Watching Sylvester Stallone. I really do watching great news This episode of how did this get made brought to you by the Expendables 3 We'll keep on making movies until we run out of poster space. We will keep adding Septuagenarian and octogenarian actors to this cast list as some of them die off Remember Dolph Lundgren is a PhD physicist. Finally, Kelsey Grammer in an action movie.

He was in that? He's in Expendables 3. As is Harrison Ford. Who does his own stunts not so well anymore. Yeah, that's right. We're going after Harrison Ford. We already shut down How I Met Your Mother. That rivalry ended with that show getting shut down.

Don't even talk about How I Met Your Father. Didn't get made because of us. Boom! Would you guys recommend people seeing this movie? No! No! I would say go see Straight Talk. It's the greatest Dolly Parton movie ever.

Yes. Is that Dolly Parton doing like Frasier? Yeah, no, yeah kind of. She gets her own talk show. She just like tells people what's going on and gives them Southern wisdom. Straight Talk. And it gives them Straight Talk. And like there's like a theme song that goes,

straight talk, straight talk. Da da da da da da da. Like, come on, let's talk turkey. And they play that song eight times in the movie. It's fantastic. Amazing. Go see straight talk. Yeah, I would say, see any other Dolly Parton movie.

Steely Mags. Nine to Five. See Nine, watch Parton movie. Steely Mags. Nine to five. See, watch nine to five. Come on, guys. I'd watch, I would watch this just for Dolly because the Dolly scenes were enough for me. They were. Wow.

Sorry, they were. I love her that much. A vocal minority. Applause. I would say watch it because I think as somebody who does comedy and stuff like that it's great to learn from a master. And the height of his game.

You know, it's good. It's good to see how like those kind of takes. I actually saw this movie in theaters when I was a very small child. My parents are divorced and I have a shitty father. And if he wanted to see a movie, we were fucking seeing it.

So I saw, you know, I saw, oh, a Death Wish and like Cobra in theaters and I was like three or four. I don't remember seeing this, but my sister tells me, would tell me about it. And then my dad bought it and watched it a bunch. My dad is obsessed with Dolly Parton in a really disgusting way. I have a, just, you know,

just something to think about. Just ponder on this a minute. You are too. Can't top that. That is our show everybody.