How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Solarbabies LIVE! (w/ John Mulaney)

Episode Date: June 10, 2024

John Mulaney (Big Mouth, Everybody's In L.A.) joins Paul, June, & Jason to cover the bonkers 1986 post-apocalyptic sci-fi movie Solarbabies. LIVE from Largo in Los Angeles, they discuss rollerskating in the future, Jami Gertz's bangs, robots programmed to enjoy, and more. Plus, Paul tells us about setting up a fake Jami Gertz autograph signing when he worked at Blockbuster Video. (Originally Released 06/25/2013) HDTGM will be in Boston on June 16th & Nantucket on June 20th! Go to hdtgm.com for ticket info, merch, and more.Order Paul’s book about his childhood, Joyful Recollections of Trauma, wherever books are soldFor extra Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerHDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerFollow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/Check out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter

Hello people of Earth, tall John Shear here to tell you that How Did This Get Made is shipping up to Boston. That's right, on Sunday, June 16th, Father's Day, we'll be doing a live show in Boston at the Wilbur Theater. Tickets are on sale now. Just go to HDTGM.com to buy tickets and find out the movie that we'll be covering. That's HDTGM.com for all your Boston live show questions. How Did This Get Made? I believe that children roller hockey players are our future. Teach them well and they will lead the way. This is what Whitney Houston would have said if she saw this movie.

We saw Solar Baby so you know what that means. Hey man! Howdy! Schwarzenegger grow baby in his belly Rock a rhinestone vest while whipping Justin to Kelly Or maybe see a burlesque show with Nick Crowe And take a bowl of speed to hitting cruise control J-Man, Big Paul, and the beautiful June Gonna take you from the groove all the way to the room Rander games and street fighter hope to blow off steam Just a sucker punch the odd life of Timothy Green

Choc Nitoadel to Birdemic, how we staying alive? They call him the Badass and he's on the line. Cranking 88 minutes cause they cool as ice, cause a bad Jim Barney looking kind of nice. Hello people over here and welcome to alive, how did this get made? We are live here at Largo in Los Angeles, our home for our live shows.

We are very excited to be here tonight to talk about a movie, a movie that predicts our future, a movie that talks about the importance of water and robots and roller skating. All these things will be covered, but first, let me introduce my co-host. Please welcome Jason Manzoukas! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! What's up, jerks?

Whoo! Whoo! How are you, Jason? I'm terrific, Paul. I'm just great having seen Solar Babies. I wish, and for the audience at home, just pretend that Jason roller skated out here. I wish we could have done that. Across a desert to get here.

Please also welcome to the stage June Diane Raphael. Hello. June did roller skate across stage. How are you June? I'm doing well. How are you Paul? Very good. Nice to see you here. Great to see you.

Great to see you as well. Did you enjoy Solar Babies? I love Solar Babies. We have a very- It's getting hot in here. You have heard about the sexual chemistry, the sexual tension you just experienced in here. Everyone in this room is turned on.

I'm sorry, Flanny, but all the seats are gonna be wet because everyone just came in their own special way. Squish, squish. We have a very special guest. This guy is fantastically funny. You know him from his amazing standup, his Netflix specials, and he just toured the country with the show.

Oh, hello, please welcome John Mulaney! ["The Greatest Showman"] ["The Greatest Showman"] ["The Greatest Showman"] ["The Greatest Showman"] ["The Greatest Showman"] ["The Greatest Showman"] Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. I work so hard. I work so hard. Thank you. Well, we are all here tonight to discuss Solar Babies. A Mel Brooks film. This is a Mel Brooks produced film. I mean... It's a Brooks film. Well, Brooks film, right. So yeah, so it's his production company. Yeah, I don't know why I'm letting him off the hook. It's his production company. But, Mel Brooks also did-

Hold on. I'm sure Mel would do it. It's a Brooks film. It's, you know, he did Elephant Man and Solar Babies. Um, it's, yeah, so who knows? Yeah, so I'm saying there's a 70% chance that this could be a comedy that he just really disguised really subtly.

That would be amazing. Um, well, okay. Where to begin? I mean, we begin in the year 41. Like, that's where we're at. And are we assuming that 41 started like after 1986? Like, like, like the, like a, like a apocalypse? Because Charles Durning remembers the

earth oh yeah oh he does doesn't he yeah yeah well it's a thousand years in the future from 1986 oh but so it's a thousand years ahead but they only call it 41 right like something happened where they were like hey let's do zero yeah so I only thought clearly would be- Clearly something happened. But zero happened like- Something major happened. Nine hundred and fifty, fifty nine years from now. Yeah, so we can assume we have a good nine hundred X years ahead of us and then shit will go bad and then we'll get to forty seven.

And at that point we're all gonna be like, roller skates. Yeah. We're not gonna, we're gonna be like, that is how we need to travel, especially through the sandy deserts of this earth. Nothing works better on sand than rollerskates. That's how we're traveling. That's what we've all decided. Also, it's part of some sort of Quidditch-like game.

So this is what's up. Also, the game might disappear. And don't ask any questions about it. Also, at some point, we might all stop playing the game, even though it seems like it's going to be about the game might disappear and don't ask any questions about it. Also, at some point, we might all stop playing the game, even though it seems like it's gonna be about the game. Yeah. It felt like this movie, and I'll say just because the title of the film is Solar Babies, the name of the hockey team,

that it would be about the hockey team and some sort of, you know, post-apocalyptic rivalry. Nothing has ever been more set up of a ragtag team versus blondes. Versus Aryans. It was a textbook Aryans versus ragtag. And then no payoff to it. None. Not only that, but I did expect in the final sequence

for some amazing rollerblading to happen that would justify the setup. I expected that they would really save the day by blade. And I mean, they did blade into that final third act sequence. They bladed there. Everywhere. Everywhere they went was on rollerblades. But at that point, they had bladed everywhere. Well everywhere, everywhere they went was on roller skates.

But at that point they had bladed everywhere. Well can I also say that- So there was nothing- The blading is mediocre. I mean they're not like great roller skaters or- Well you know Paul, but I have to say, I think their roller blading is fine. I think their blades are so rudimentary.

The roller blades they're blading on are, I mean... A lot of them are straight up roller skates. Yeah, roller skates. They're not roller blades. They're like old... With a front heel. Yeah. They're straight up Steve Gutenberg at the beginning of Can't Stop the Music roller skating. Yes.

So I don't know how much more they could do with things like that. Here's why I think the roller skating is bad. Because at one point when they're roller skating towards the door at the end, they don't stop. They just slam into the wall. Like they just hit it hard and they're like, well, the wall will stop me. They never take the skates off. Like they never really take the skates off.

They bite in the skates. Peter DeLauise does once. And he walks with the bunch on. Don't you dare use that name as if anyone here knows who that is. I mean, I'll talk about Michael Delewes all day long. Guys, I was thinking that you were all fans of 21 Jump Street and Peter Delewes, killing it on that show.

No, yeah, so it is kinda, I mean, the roller skates don't even seem to play that much of an important part. You know, while I know, because there are periods of the movie where they are with people who are not on roller skates, who seem to be keeping up just fine. Like, they don't seem to be giving them that much of an advantage. Right. At a certain point, Adrian Pazdar is just running in boots right along with the group.

Right. The majority of the third act is a chase where the roller skates provide no advantage. Right, because they're being chased by, like, tanks and motorcycles. Yeah. And are caught every single time. And...

Ah. This is a movie also, and I went back to watch it. Is it, though? They're... They made it. But, yeah, it doesn't... I kept on going, what is it about? And it's a movie that where when you first watch

the voiceover at the top, it makes no sense because you have no context. But then at the end you're like, oh, okay, that's what this movie was about. Wait, what was it? I'm genuinely like, I don't know. I don't know why so much of what happened happened if all the method, if the method to the madness was just like, oh, we broke

the dam. We have water now. Like again, like this is- Yeah, also, oh, you had water? Yeah. Oh, I thought the earth had no water. No, it's just a dam. Oh, it was behind a dam? Yeah.

It's behind a dam. They never got into that. It wasn't like it was being at like. And then there's the secret society of the Oasis who are like, we don't want anybody to know we're here. Very confusing because again it looked like it was gonna be a movie about roller skating. I thought it was gonna be a whole movie about Orphanage 43 and the young thugs in the Solar Babies Roller. What did they call it? Oh, Skateball. Skateball.

Skateball. That's the shit that bugs the fuck out of me. Whoa, Paul. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Paul, Paul. God damn it. Whoa, Paul. No, it's like when they, because they keep certain things. They keep certain things like this movie is 1,041 years in the future,

from whenever that was. But yet they're reading- No, it's 1,000 years in the future. Oh, 1,000 years in the future. At a certain point, come on, we've already gone over this. They got, all right, yeah, so they came back. I wanna get the, we gotta, we have to decide what it is though.

It's 1,000 years in the future, right? Well, here's the thing- I'm going off the trailer. A 1,000 years in the future. Yes, no, I agree. In the year 47. What? They have stuff like books that were clearly from the 80s. But then they're like skateboard.

But wouldn't it just be hockey? They wouldn't have forgotten about hockey. Also, I thought that of that as a lacrosse stick, too. And it's definitely a lacrosse stick. Yeah. It's like it's a lacrosse stick like sewn to a hockey stick. Yeah. Actually, if I came out of anything,

like if something really resonated with me in this movie, when I was in high school, the lacrosse guys were like so cool and so hot. And I watched this movie. I know he is. But I watched this movie. I'm, I know he is, but I watched this movie and I was like, wow, lacrosse is a dumb sport. It's a stupid sport, it's so dumb.

All you need to reveal it is to put them all on roller skates. And it became so clear. So, you know, for me it was worth it. It really... Those guys didn't live very cool. To diffuse that, yeah. I really... It also made the very distinct connection between lacrosse and Nazis. And that like there was definitely like Nazi lacrosse teams, you know?

Like I felt like those guys... For sure. Yeah, pretty... It was like a real Nazi team. And the... What was that team called? The Moccasins? Scorpions.

And of course they were playing against the Solar Babies. Oh, and they always lose. They're like the Washington Generals of Orphanage 43. Well, not the Solar Babies. They always win. That's what I mean. Yeah. No, no.

I'm talking about the Scorpions. I want to play the opening voiceover, because now that we've seen the movie, I want to play the movie. Can we, by the way, I think we should say, we've seen these movies, because I think it is five movies in one movie. Yeah, it was- It's a, it's a ragtag versus rich kids movie.

It's a flight of the navigator-esque finding a magical thing. It's a post-apocalyptic Mad Max type movie. And then it's your garden variety, variety bully almost raping a girl movie. Yeah, yeah. It's got every one of those elements. I think a guy went into like Brooks films and pitched five movies and Mel was like, great, go.

We can only afford one, combine them. Yeah. Put them all in. So this is the opening voiceover. It made me go, oh, all right, I guess I did set it up. But it also feels like everyone left the movie going, what? And then they're like, we'll put voiceover at the top. We'll get it.

Here, this is the beginning. We live in the new time. The year is 41, and the protectorate controls all the water on earth, and therefore, all life. I am the warden of Orphanage 43, one of the many orphanages that I've ever seen. I'm the warden of Orphanage 43. I'm the warden of Orphanage 43. I'm the warden of Orphanage 43.

I'm the warden of Orphanage 43. I'm the warden of Orphanage 43. I'm the warden of Orphanage 43. I'm the warden of Orphanage 43. I'm the warden of Orphanage 43. I'm the warden of Orphanage 43. I'm the warden of Orphanage 43. I'm the warden of Orphanage 43. I'm the warden of Orphanage 43. controls all the water on Earth, and therefore, all life. I am the warden of Orphanage 43, one of the many orphanages that border the wasteland. Children are brought here at an early age to be indoctrinated, to serve the system.

It hurts me to do what I do, but I too must serve the system. Sometimes in my dreams, I see the earth as it was before. Green with flowing rivers and mighty oceans. Can it ever be like that again? There is a legend, a tale told by the Chicanes. This is still happening. What? It speaks of a visitor that came from the heavens.

The people called it Bodai. The legend says that it has come to earth to free the waters once again. Is this legend true? He's asking. Who knows? Could anyone help with this? Who knows? Anyone help with this? Who knows? I'm sincerely asking. Is this legend true? Fill out your comment cards. That's a shit load of exposition at the top. Also, I like- It's like the five premises.

I've never heard in opening VO, I don't like my job. Yep. And also, he is not a main character in this story at all. So ostensibly these are just a bunch of set up lines from a character who we almost never see. Who maybe is in arguably three scenes. Yeah, oh yeah, for sure. And does almost nothing in any of them.

He is not important to the story. No. Like it is the story of the kids. Why don't you just have like Lucas Haas, who arguably, I mean, although at the end, I don't know who's the victor. Eight-year-old Lucas Haas. So good. Already in the pussy posse at this point.

Yeah. I think he's already just crushing. Yeah, already a private booth at Sushi Samba. Wrangling women. private booth at Sushi Samba. Wrangling women. Leo throwing around growing pains money. Lucas has got his solar baby's check.

They're living the dream. Kevin Connelly still an altar boy. He also has a problem with the top. He has electric ears, which are just basically like Beats by Dre headphones he's wearing. And then his reveal is, I don't need those headphones anymore, I can hear. Because of Bodi. Because he talks to Bodi.

By the way, I didn't know that his headphones were electric ears till after he said, I can hear now. Then Jamie Gertz said, where are your electric ears? Yeah. I thought they were headphones. That's what I thought. Because he was on roller skates. And they were basically just like Radio Shack headphones.

They were not. Also, when he switches on the power to the skate park in the beginning, there is an enormous electric shock right next to that child actor. There's no, that's not a stunt double. he pulls this lever and I'm sure it was safe but it like blows up right near his head. I don't think it was safe.

I think we're in the era of the Twilight Zone movie where we're like, ah fuck it, put the kid there, pull a handle, whatever. That too soon for you guys? I wasn't making fun of it, I'm just saying there was a recklessness to something. Oh no, Paul, that's too far. But they doubled down, not only are you watching roller hockey, you're also watching another guy who's also on roller skates and has a pet owl. Yeah.

And then the guy, the Native American guy is our favorite. Well I don't really know where we are in the world to call them Native Americans. We're in the protectorate, which is also the system. Right, yes. Oh, okay. That is the first thing Charles Sturning kind of- And that, of course, made total sense for me. Right.

I got that. Yeah. Well, they were called, they were like, I think that they were like, it felt like they were the Native American people, right? Because they- Yes. Are we in America? Are we in America?

Wow, now it's really opening up. Spoilers, this movie takes place on the continent of Asia. Whoa. With local Asian Charles Durning. Yeah, you know that in a thousand years. You goddamn kids. Also, I like that it's like, I thought they were in trouble for playing skate lacrosse.

And then he's like, why didn't you just play on the court we have here? And you're like, you have a court here? Yeah, and they train every day. They have roller skate training. Like his point was like, we have one here. It did seem like a large facility. I don't know why they didn't just play there. They like playing out of bounds.

They wanted to be in no rules. For no rules. But however, the Solar Babies didn't wanna play no rules. It was the goddamn scorpions. Yeah, scorpions play dirty, because they're the Nazis, and Solar Babies win every time.

You know, Solar Babies win so much. I don't know if that's true. They defeat the protectorate. Well, I mean, he does say, this is when they do explain the titular solar babies, which is right here, when Charles Durning says, here we go, just take a listen. Bad name for a skateboard team.

Don't you think solar babies, soft, no menace. Why do you suppose they chose it? They don't seem to need anything more menacing, do they? They always seem to win. Not really that insulting to get that. And here's the thing I wanted to talk about. So mean.

He puts his wand over flowers and kills them, but that wand never comes back into play. No, no, that that's a heat wand. We never get used to it again. Great sound design though. Yeah. Yeah. Charles Durning sweating more than most

in this post-apocalyptic no water land. Because he came from Earth. So I feel like he came from a Earth, so I feel like it's hotter. He came from the hotter planet. What I'm also trying to realize, when you played the talking at the exposition at the beginning, I realized he's remembering 1,000 years in the past. No, sorry.

Sorry. He's remembering 41 years or 42 years ago when we were in 2,986. I got it, I got it. Right? So he does remember rain and water. Well, he can have dreams about it. I've dreamed about things I've never done, but... So I guess.

Okay. Truly. But the kids have no recollection, they couldn't. No, they don't even remember how they got there. Yeah, they read like Beverly Cleary fiction or something. And that, let's talk about that scene. When these kids read the book about rain and then the orb, a bowdye, produces rain,

their reaction to it is so bizarre because you would think their first reaction would be like, let's drink this. Yes. Because anything that can capture this, capture it. And let's drink it. Let's not let it fall on the ground. Let's get it.

Let's get containers. Exactly. Take your hats off. Take your shirts off. Let's capture this water. This is the most precious thing that is existing in the year 41. Nope.

We're going to kick it. Let's dance. Kick. Let's dance. Let's dance and kick. And also, nobody seems to do a bad number Let's dance and kick. And also nobody seems. We're basically gonna do a bad number from Step Up Three. Yeah, and nobody seems surprised that,

I mean there's a surprise that it's raining, but it seems like they do know that rain is possible. They've heard of it. Yeah. But there's no, nobody is surprised that it's raining inside. No. Yeah. Well, James LeGrow, James LeGrow, like even at the youngest of James LeGrow age, still

can't not be just an absolute dick in everything. Who I love, I love him. He is like, the dick in everything is like, fuck you guys. And in this one is the one who's like, well, they must be drugging us. This is a mass hallucination. Which also makes no, then why would they all... They would be wet too? Yeah. And also... I love that idea.

They just want a shower. They're like, oh good, we get the shower. It's like, why do you have expectations of showers? When the protector controls all the water and you live in a waterless society. They come back from their slave labor and they're like, god, I need a shower. No, it's like, you should all be very used to how you smell. Yeah and they're like, God, I need a shower. No, it's like you should all be very used to how you smell.

Yeah, they're like, you stink. Yeah. Well, I want to talk about the Solar Babies and their bad ideas because then they decide, oh, we got this cool orb. Let's go like break it. Let's go play skateboard with it. Yeah. Well, they think that it wants to play, which is pretty cool.

Well, it does have a personality, yeah. It's very Cokeheadish at points. Yeah. The ball, I'll be honest, the ball is a fort. It like splits around between all the Solar Babies, giving everybody its attention. Make no mistake, if you have not seen this movie, the ball does not talk.

It is only, people give monologues to the ball, Hamlet style monologues, and they tell you, it's like when Han Solo talks to Chewbacca, you get what the ball is saying, but the ball doesn't even. But you know how it feels. Yeah. And that's a know how it feels. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's a testament to good acting. Yeah. And also such good acting to convey to the audience that, hey, maybe we'll win the skateball tournament that this is definitely heading towards with this ball that's magical, but no. Nope. But that's like a real bonding moment for them is when they let the ball out and they play with it. Cause that's what's necessary.

Yeah. Do something that I would argue also like seems slightly racist when it gets to the one kid. Slightly. Rabbit. No rabbit laws. Yeah. Rabbit.

Is the name rabbit? Rabbit, yeah. Rabbit. Rabbit's like, I don't want to play skateboard with it. I'm going to just start break dancing with the ball and like. Break dancing, beat boxing, and doing like basketball moves with it. Like all three at once. Well, if we're about to watch it, I don't want to.

He also calls it Bodhi, and they correct him and he goes, you talk how you talk and I'll talk how I'll talk. Let's just say... And you're like, hey man, did you just accidentally say Bodhi? It's okay. He just like doubles down. No. I say, I sounds as ease. By the way, that kid never wears a shirt either. Like there's a shirt, like two of them are always shirtless and the rest are. Oh this whole movie feels like the buildup of a gay porn.

Like that's what's gonna happen. This is the interesting thing about the movie and I was trying to figure this out. How long do, how old do they have to be to stay or to walk out of the orphanage, or do they ever? Because- Well, I think they join the military of the protectorate. Right, I think they join ECOPs.

I think that's what you're training to do. So the scorpion who gets promoted, I guess, the rapist. The bad, like- Yeah. The blonde, yeah. Yeah, the blonde rapist. Does he, so that's just his trajectory, everyone's trajectory.

It's like, that's why rubber suit Nazi trench coat is like, oh, you're like, you're the guy for me. We're gonna put you on the fast track. We're gonna get you into one of those motorcycles with two side cars. Slow it down. And laser guns that don't kill, that just like stun people it seems like.

Yeah. There's no lethal force, really. Except for the fucking Solar Babies. The Solar Babies kill and are... It's like, no, watch this montage. And that robot at the end. No, no, no. It's a lot more.

The robot's got it coming. Take a listen to all the Solar Baby kills. Here, no, no, no. The robot. It's a lot more. The robot's got it coming. Yeah, that's true. Take a listen to all the Solar Baby kills. We'll talk about this scene that everyone's looking at right now. But the Solar Babies chill with reckless abandon and are psyched about it. Take a, this is a montage of their greatest kills. Whoa! Watch out!

Kill. Whoa! Whoa! Watch out! Kill. The motors are going to explode. They cheer. Skate, skate, skate. You forgot your boot. They tied two people to a car. Send them out. Die.

Yeah, take it easy. Like that is a death sentence. Yes. Say hello, let's get him. Say hello to Sparky. Ah! Hello. Let's move. Oh, this is wild.

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! That is how a very powerful fetish gets created.

Yeah. They are, the Solar Babies are straight up murderers. Yeah. Like the most efficient murderers. Like none of them are ever even hurt really. And they go up against the army, like the other team, like all the members of the, like everybody, they are, they can't get touched once. And no remorse.

There's never a moment where like, oh, we just killed those two guards. It's like, ha ha, yes. Or like, they're never like, don't let the kids see us murdering people. The kids like, get him. What does he say to the guys? They send it to the desert?

Like, have a good time or whatever. Have a nice trip, see you later dummies. You're gonna be dead in days you idiots. Oh my god. My other really big complaint about the Solar Babies is that aside from the nerd Solar Baby, there's no difference between any of them. I don't know what makes one Solar Baby him

or what makes one Solar Baby her. They're just all Solar Babies. Yeah, there's no personalities. The only thing I could kind of draw was that Peter Deloitte is, you know, Peter. Is he the one that I also think is Jason Patrick? He's the one that looks... He's the better Jason Patrick. There's two guys that I never knew who they were. Yeah, they looked a lot alike.

Jason Patrick you could tell because they called him Jason. Yes. So I think they were like, they were like, he's very difficult. Rabbit was like, look, I'm calling him Jason. You call him by his name in the script. You call him his character name, I'm going to call him Jason Patrick. Well, and again, not to play so many clips back to back,

but I think this is worthy that, I think because the characters had no delineation, they just say their names a million times. And this is a little name montage here. Jason, Metron, Rabbit, Tara, and Tom. Where's Daniel? Where's Daniel? Rabbit. Tara.

Daniel! Jason! Jason! Jason! Jason! Tara! Jason! Hey, Jason Terra Jason Hey, Jason! Come on, Jason! Jason Daniel

Metron Metron! It's Jason! Metron Rabbit Metron Jason Daniel's gone

Daniel Rabbit God is gone! Daniel's gone! Daniel Alright, Daniel Tom Rabbit

Rabbit Terra Jason Daniel Metron Terra Daniel Come on, Rabbit! Rabbit! Tara! Jason! Daniel! Metron! Tara! Daniel!

Come on Daniel! Daniel! Daniel! Jason! Where's Tara? Tara? Oh Tara! Jason!

Tara! Oh Tara! This is Jason. Jason. And Rabbit. This is Metron. Okay. Tug.

That's Daniel. Jason. Daniel. Daniel. Tara. Daniel. Come onug. That's Daniel. Jason. Daniel. Daniel. Tara. Daniel. Come on, Tara.

Come on, Tara. Where's Daniel? Daniel! Daniel! Be careful, Daniel. Jason! Jason, come on! Jason!

Jason! Jason! Jason! Follow Daniel! Tara! Tara! Tara! Tara! Terra! Terra! Terra! Terra!

Terra! Terra! Terra! Terra! Terra! Terra! Terra! Terra!

Terra! Terra! Terra! Terra! Terra! Terra! Terra! Terra!

Terra! Terra! Terra! Terra! Terra! Terra! Terra! personalities, Jamie Gertz is the girl. Oh, love her. Great. I love Jamie Gertz, like unabashedly, like one of the great, my favorite, like 80s teen movie stars, like the best. And she's great, but can we talk about what happened to her bangs? Yeah, yeah we can.

Yeah we can. After she took off that hat? She took off that hat and had like 80s bangs. Okay, this is the craziest thing about that moment because I know she's in that, off that hat. She took off that hat and had like 80s bags. Okay. I would- This is the craziest thing about that moment because I know she's in that, I don't, well I don't really know why they all got in garbage bags and which is hats. They all put on disguises. They all put on disguises at which point everybody was like, oh they've disappeared. We can't find them.

Yeah, we can't find the group of five kids that travel on roller skates. And then inexplicably they just took their disguises off and people were like, there they are. Okay, but that's a comedic moment, to take off your witch's hat, or it was like a half hat, I don't know what the fuck it was. It was like a garbage bag that was frayed. Okay, to take it off and then to have your bangs.

Straight up. Dance straight up, I mean it was a wall of bangs. I mean, arguably it was just like something about Mary. I mean, it was that. It was insane. And then they played it out. They were like, like three scenes. It was crazy that she kept it beyond when she just took off the hat. And I wonder if they shot it.

The first thing and her bangs were just like that, and they realized they'd done it, and were like, oh, well I guess continuity, guys. We should have. She wouldn't have done anything, you know. No one runs their hands through their hair, so we should just keep it. Yeah, we have to, okay, so she's gonna have to have that

for two more scenes. And then it became very popular hairstyle. Oh. So then, so. Gertz. Jamie Gertz, I once, I worked at a Blockbuster video growing up and I ran a fake autograph signing for a girl that I thought was cute that was Jamie Gertz. I was like, why don't you pretend like you're Jamie Gertz

and we'll run an autograph session here at Blockbuster and then people got fake Jamie Gertz autographs. Okay, I have to say the tales of this, your time at Blockbuster, it was like... That is fraud. The animals were out of the zoo. Were there any managers at this blockbuster? There was a really cool manager.

I also never remember an autograph signing at a blockbuster. Nope. That would be a very weird event. The one I went to had no staff. You would just like eventually walk out with the movie. I, my dad, I remember my dad brought me to an autograph signing at a blockbuster for a Honey I Shrunk the Kids. Who was there?

Who was there? The three kids, not Rick Moranis. At which point you were like, someday I will work here. What? Someday I will do this but fraud. Are you sure? By the way, are you sure it was the three kids? Yeah, by the way.

I actually have the, it looks like a place mat of the three kids' faces on it. It's like, honey, I shrunk the kids. And they have all three of their autographs on it. That's amazing. I'll fucking sell it to anybody, come on. Don't sell your childhood, Paul. If you got the money, money talks, bullshit walks.

Come on, people. I got a honey-ass shanked kid's kids. I feel like it's really weird that this show has, like, devolved to you just trying to sell personal belongings. Like, I've also got a lawnmower that I'm not using anymore. Just like a swap shop segment. I got DVD player, good one. Not Blu-ray, HD DVD.

It's really good. It was the better. Smart DVD. Yeah, so then that's when this movie, I mean, why, okay, here's my biggest problem with this movie. I don't know how long this movie takes place as a period over. For example, Adrian Pazdar, who is the guy who has the owl, who steals Bodi and runs into the desert. By the way, he is a 45-year-old man.

Yes. Not yet married to Natalie Manes, but yes, a full-grown adult man living in the orphanage has an owl and birds talk to him. He takes, steals the magical orb. Wait, birds talk to him? They come to him. He draws a thing in the sand, birds land, kids gather around very impressed,

but they're much more impressed by a guy just kicking the sand. Like he's like charmed the birds into landing right on his sand drawing of birds, but then this other guy's like, fuck you. And they're like, ha ha ha, yeah. That was cool how the birds landed, but that was legitimately awesome when you kicked the sand.

He's also so clearly has magical powers. Why would you ever piss off a guy like that? But then we also, I believe, are meant to like him. He steals Bodi, he goes into the desert, they chase after him, blah, blah, blah. At a certain point though, he is just working in Tire Town. He like has a job in the Tire Mines. Oh yeah, Tire Town.

In Tire Town. Am I crazy or are they like, where are we? And then they look up and they go, Tire Town At which point like the whistle blows he comes out of the mine or whatever he's been doing. Their faces are all over the place. Their faces are all over the news like these are wanted escapees. It wasn't news it seemed like just like it was such a bizarre way to present, like, it was... But how long does he... Wait. How long has he had a job? And then the same thing happens. They lose track. The entire town blows up. They think that Gertz is dead.

They skate around the desert for a while. And finally, they come across her in the middle of the desert. She's like, I live here. Yeah. Like, this is my father. I'm just about to be here. This is my father. We're in an, I'm here. This is my father. We're in an oasis now. Oh, we're the royal family from Spaceballs.

Didn't you know that? How long is this? Why? That's my problem with the movie, is that there's too many messiahs. Bodi is some sort of messiah, obviously. Charles Durning asks, is this true? Have you heard about this?

I don't know. Then Lucas Haas, I'm sort of like, OK, he's the, you know, Charles Durning asks, is this true, have you heard about this? I don't know. Then Lucas Haas, I'm sort of like, okay, he's the one that found Bodi, so he's kind of the messenger of Bodi. But then Owlboy is clearly the messiah, but then Jamie Gertz is like, also the messiah. But then at the end, Bodi breaks up, and then they all become messiahs,

because they're like, now we have him, inside of us. You know what's amazing? You know who's not the messiah? Jason Patrick. Yeah. Who is arguably the leader of the group. He is like the hero of the movie. He seems to have no powers or no distinct skills.

He's like, he's a for real zero. Yeah. What's really strange is that he doesn't join the eco warrior movement. No, they're really strange. Is that he doesn't join the eco warrior movement? No, they're like we're out of here We're primed for that at some point that he's going and I guess maybe he does become an eco warrior in his own way How well he does end up fighting for? Water and for the resources of the people. I think he's just a hothead though. I think he'd fight for whatever, you know?

I think he just wants to fight. Yeah. See, my question, see here's the thing. Outside of, I'm confused about how this government works because in Tire Town, what are they mining for exactly? Tires. Tires. We gotta dig up all the old tires.

I think it is a tire based economy. I'm not sure. Okay. But I think it might be that. So they're making tires, but it doesn't seem like anyone's really using them. They're not putting them on cars. I just don't understand what they're... Well, maybe Tire Town is suffering due to the roller skate boom.

Maybe it's a maybe. Like no one's gonna go around on roller skate. Maybe that's what they're doing. It is a self sustained town though. I mean that's why they're making motorcycles with two side cars is they're like how many fucking tires can we get on a vehicle? Maybe they're taking old car tires and turning them into tiny roller skating tires. And then just roller skating around that town.

Oh yeah up and down. Roller skates it seems to be like how they travel. It's like Starlight Express. Like Solar Babies seem to travel like that, but everybody else. Yeah, oh no, no. Yeah, it's not a Mad Max thing where, I don't think there's a fuel shortage, no?

No. It seems like there's plenty of fuel. Right. Oh yeah, and they've got desert cars that they drive, like the Nazi party, they drive around in desert cars. They're not on skates. But I guess my question is, do you think, do you think everyone else

is coming to Tire Town for their tires, purchasing them there, and then leaving? No, to me, Tire Town. Because Tire Town is in the middle of nowhere. Right, I think they manufacture tires, or they dig up tires from the ground, they mine for tires, and then they send them to whatever the capital of the protectorate,

AKA the system is. So they're like, yeah, they're doing, because a lot of the- And then, wait, sorry, last question. So they're like, yeah, they're doing, because a lot of the- And then, wait, sorry, last question. So they send them, and I'm assuming they're paid for those tires. Not well. They appear to be paid in bottles of water.

Then they're paid in water? Is that how this whole thing is running? It is a water-based economy. Yeah, because wherever you go, you can promise people water if they catch the solar business. That has currency everywhere. And the guys, the bounty hunters. Okay, I had a question about the bounty. Okay, go ahead.

I want to say, are they digging for tires? Yeah. Don't dig. Just go find more tires. Yes. Yeah. Yes, they are. Is it that kind of thing where like, oh, 500 years ago, this used to be a tire dump, and then this desert grew over it. So now we have to dig in to get to the tires.

Sometimes I still dream of when tires were not underground. It's a metaphor. I don't like my job very much. When they were already made. I always wanted to be like a dentist assistant but I work at the orphanage. You want to talk about the bounty hunters. You wanted to talk about the bounty hunters. I wanted to talk about the bounty hunters only because I was really wondering this. At a certain point, the bounty hunters, they catch the solar babies.

Can we even talk about how they're introduced Home Depot style? They're hanging outside the Nazi headquarters going, Hey, I'm an assassin. Hey, you need an assassin? Come on, hi, I'm me. I'm a good assassin. It's like driving into a Home Depot full of bounty hunters.

And the guy later on is like, the bad guy is like, go get me those two ragtag assassins out front. It would be like going to Home Depot and Boba Fett was out front. Yeah. Remember the guys who delivered the barbecue? Get them. Also, what kind of Nazis outsource their violence right like Nazis love violence that guy killed a plant for fun oh yeah why why wouldn't he and he has a vent he has a personal vendetta against the solar be almost everyone does though there is a point where it's like

everyone in the protectorate is looking for the solar here's the thing here's what okay here's they are the easiest to find they are so trackable you know There is a point where it's like everyone in the protectorate is looking for the solar base. Here's the thing. Here's one. Okay. And you'd argue they are the easiest to find. They are so trackable. You know why? Because they're roller skating through the fucking desert. They're leaving a trail. They're making no effort to conceal their tracks. From the orphanage to wherever they are now, there is a straight line that you can follow. Yes. You ever see like a child walk?

And there are now, there is a straight line that you can follow. Yes! You ever see like a child walk... That's what this movie is. They don't, they don't ever clean up behind themselves. You know when you see a child walking down the street alone and you're like, that's weird. Imagine if all children lived in one orphanage, then we're not allowed to leave. It'd be super weird to see a kid rolling around. Five kids never split up. Well granted most of them are adults. Yes.

Two of them are gay for pay porn actors. One of them is four. And one of them shirts off when they're seeing kids. Shirts off. And one of them is one of Dom DeLuise's sons. Is he actually of the DeLuises? Of the laughing till horse Deleuizes? Boy, who's the mother that that boy turned out like that? Who's the mother I ask? I'm not sure. Brother to Michael Deleuize who played

Luke's sister's wife on Gilm- husband on Gilmore Girls also Kelly Bishop in this movie Emily Gilmore in like one scene. Gilmore Girls Nod's Good Name. Yeah nerds! Don't think I'm not gonna notice Gilmore Girls connections in this shit. I did once- I looked it up which Deluise I was like is that the Gilmore Girls' Deloise? No, it is not. If I ever have a daughter and she gets married, my toast at the wedding is gonna be

Jamie Gertz's father's speech. And I'm gonna enter that way, in that outfit with a beard, and I'll go, long ago there was a great iceberg. There was something to... The introduction of him as her father felt wrong to me. It felt like they were dating. Yeah.

He was touching her too fondly. It was also the most fertile about the environment and just like everybody's got wet hair. Yeah. It's also the most introduction of any character. He like is he perfectly enters. He also I did five Bible pictures in the 50s, I know how to enter. It really is exactly what you're saying.

He is introduced as a Christ-like figure. He looks like Christ, beard, robes, all of it. Oh, now he is. And he's in the cave painting. He's in the Oasis, yeah, he's in the painting. The one that looks like an anti-violence mural in San Pedro or something. It's like this bright pastel, like, look at this ancient cave painting.

And it's like a Selena mural. It was like done yesterday. Now, but why does he that oasis that's sitting there? So he just he's not willing to fight for everyone. No, because they they lost too many people. They found their desert iceberg and they're fine with it. The underground desert iceberg. And they're cool. I wanted to talk, well let's watch his dad walk in.

Yeah, please. This is my favorite moment. Water, running water. Water comes right out of the rock. No, it comes from here. This is called ice. Thousands of years ago, a giant glacier was trapped under a lava flow. As it melts, it feeds the springs that make our oasis.

Thank you. This is green tree. I don't like that. He's my father. What? Ooh. Ooh, no. She nuzzles.

Rabbit knows. Rabbit knows that's wrong. It's like, rabbit Rabbit knows, rabbit knows that's wrong. Rabbit's like, say it however you want. That does not look good. Call it bow to your bowdye. That shit is wrong. Also, a second later, he brings out another child. It seems that he moved on.

Yeah. Because my only assumption is that he has not seen Jamie Gertz for her entire life She does not remember. Yeah, what is this fucking rich guy that lets his daughter live in orphanage 43? We're even the warden doesn't like his job. Oh see I figured she was like taken away and he couldn't get to her So are you not allowed to have your kids in the protector? That? That's what I'm guessing. By the way, he's a famous dude. She's got the tattoo on her hand. Wouldn't you like the electorate or protectorate? You'd be like, hey, we should maybe do something with her.

Here's one thing I'll ask you in addition to that. She has the tattoo on her hand of the Oasis people, but she arrived at the orphanage as a baby. So someone tattooed a baby's hand. Somebody was like, oh, this eight-month-old needs a green tattoo, which would be very hard to do. It's the best time to do it. It's like piercing ears.

You've got to do it early. You don't want to remember it. Also, it's like a hand stamp at Webster Hall or something. That is the wackest tattoo. So I don't know. I'm now thinking maybe children aren't allowed in the... Yeah. Under the laws of the protectorate.

I think all children are raised in these orphanages to fight for the protectorate. Sadly. That's terrible. That's terrible. No, it really just took a turn there. It's not cool. That's terrible. Before...

Thank God the solar babies are here to easily access every military facility on the globe, apparently without any friction. They literally walk into the main room at the end, the doors is open, there is no security code to break nothing. They go through the front gate, go through two doors, first they find Adrian Pazdar, he's like, hey guys, and they're like, okay, we'll bust you out,

then the next door they go into, oh, here's the room where Bodi is, as if in this giant, like, damn factory, crazy villain lair, there was basically three rooms. And a ladder. Well, I guess it also, though, begs the question, I know it's only been 41 years, but at a certain point, these children in the orphanage

are gonna have to reproduce and create other children, otherwise the population can't continue. Well, Blonde Guy is trying to get laid hard. He definitely is. He's trying real hard. He definitely is, but they don't have any plan to keep the human race going, really. No, they really.

So your problem is that the movie lacked more potent sexual energy for the teens? No, but it's like, I do agree, the protectorate has no plan. Correct, correct. Again, Owl Boy, that is a magical person. You know, like, if there's a beast, hook him up to machines and exploit him.

I do wanna talk about that. When they go to the desert town where, what's the name of these people? The Indian Reservation, the, oh, the, the, the, the, yeah, what's the name of these people? Chicka Quok. Chikati, Chikati. When they go to the Chikati village

in the middle of the desert, those people are horny as fuck. They are just like all grinding on each other all the time before they all get shot up They're fucking in front of wax sculptures of the wolf man Right. I did have a question about that though. It's like they kill, you know, the blonde rapist kills the owl and then it dies He's like, yeah killed it. He's like dies, he's like, yeah, killed it. And he's like whipping around by its feet. So it's like, then the solar babies come, and then the guy is hiding behind a good thing,

watching them bury his owl. So does that mean that- Did he stay there for that? Or did he already leave, or he already left? He stayed there, but he didn't bury his owl. It seemed like the solar babies- Yeah, bury your own owl, man. Yeah, it seemed like the solar babies came a lot later.

He's like, you know what? What if I leave it out here and wait until someone comes? If they bury it, then we're gonna be cool. Like, I mean, like, that's a real weird plan. I also felt like the Solar Babies, it was a really nice funeral for that owl. Oh yeah. And it almost seemed strange.

Like, they- He wasn't one of them. He wasn't one of them. He was, he was like, but they were cool with and he was he was like but they were cool with him They were at the orphanage. They were cool with him It just seemed like a very spiritual and sacred. Yeah Ceremony for this owl. I was surprised Let's not go into the audience here

Let's see if the audience has any points of view that we may not have talked about here You have a question, raise your hand. And obviously the title of this movie was odd because it really, they are Solar Babies, but it would lead you to believe it's about the team. What is your- And also it lacks menace. Yes, oh, tremendous.

What would you say the title of this movie should be? And what is your question? Glowing Balls of Fury. I like that, that's good. And what's your question? Okayowing balls of fury. Like that, that's good. And what's your question? So this movie was released in theaters the same day as Star Trek 4, in which a probe comes to earth, releases a glowing orb that sucks up all the water where Kirk has to go back, I'm sorry this is really nerdy.

No, I know all this. I do. Where Kirk has to go back in time find some whales blah blah blah. What if this movie is the alternate reality or alternate ending of Kirk's mission failing going back in time? I like this question because I love Star Trek. 99% of you are like fast forward. Great question. It is a great question.

Did you guys have that thought? It was more of a statement, but it was fascinating. We'll take it. I've not seen Star Trek 4. What? Come on, it's so good. Is it? They have the cover up spots.

The description I just heard sounded terrible. Yeah. You know what it sounded like? It sounded like, um, have you seen Solar Babies? So unless I am forced to, by the rationale of this prison sentence of this podcast, watch that movie, I suspect, based on your description, sir, that I will not. He's leaving, there's a lot more jokes in Star Trek 4, like Scotty tries to use the computer,

and he picks up the mouse and he goes, hello computer, and the guy's like, just use the mouse. You know, it's great. It's a great movie. Oh, classic Scotty. Do you have a question? Just an old Scottish actor. He's a character man.

There's a lot more jokes in this one. That's a character man. He was even in New Hampshire. There's a lot more jokes in this one. That's a good sell for Star Trek. Finally, they get to the humor. Your title, your question. My title would probably be like Sand Goonies. I kinda got a Goonies vibe from the movie. You know, I thought that too.

Sand Goonies is great. And can we talk about, can we talk about that? This guy's wearing a hat that says the Goonies. Yeah. Can we talk about, can we talk about that? This guy's wearing a hat that says the Goonies. Yeah. Can we talk about that robot that was programmed to enjoy? It's... Yeah. Terminix. Terminix, the most bulky looking robot. Yeah, it looked like the robot from... Lost in Space. It looked like the robot from Lost in Space. It looked like the robot from Lost in Space basically. And by the way, there's no way you could program a robot

to enjoy something. Right. I mean, you could program a robot to, you know. You're thinking like somebody from year 21. I guess I am. I'll tell you this much, I didn't like that idea. I'm like, I don't want any of these robots having any emotions.

I will just show you a picture of this robot. The robot is the most bull, I mean it is. Yeah, and it's supposed to be so precise. They brag about how precise. It's basically a giant drill bit. It's a drill with a head. And it's like, it could take an eye out of a bird. It's like, I don't even know how that thing's

come fucking catching a bird. it could take an eye out of a bird. I don't even know how that thing's fucking catching a bird. It could bury an owl. It plays center at skateboard. Sir your title and your question. Title is, it's the desert but there's roads everywhere. Like that? Did you write down notes on an IKEA brochure? Yes I did.

Get a pad of paper bro. Okay that's an IKEA PS he purchased. Okay yes your question. Did anybody notice that the cars that the Nazis were driving looked like a mixture of Darkwing Duck and Darth Vader Hot Wheels? Of course. Like durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr course. Like, durrrrr. There is... That's you, uh, idiot. We all got that.

After Lucasfilm sold to Disney, they made like matchbox cards. They literally have a Darth Vader matchbox and it looks like a dragster. Like Darth Vader is getting in like a little speedster going around with his lightsaber, it's amazingly dumb. Yes, your name and your title and your question. My name is Bree, Xanadu 2, Mad Max, Ferry Road for kids. I just wanted to point out when at the Chikahani place, did you guys notice it was in front of the Xanadu hotel?

There was a nod to Xanadu. You're right. It was in front of the Xanadu hotel, which means it did take place in what used to be America. Wait, really? I don't think the Xanadu hotel is the hotel from Xanadu. Really? Prove me wrong. I would love it if they were part of a shared universe.

I would love it if those movies are from the same universe. What if Gene Kelly is the orb? Gene Kelly is Bodi. I love that. Who has a hand up? Okay, yes, your name, your question, here we go. And you order your title. Matt Starlight Express, Fury Road.

Great. Yes, yes. Yes, he's right. He's correct. Of all of them, I agree with that one the most. Mm, yes. How does Tara, when they're at the Eco Warrior place, have the plans or blueprints for the bunker?

Say, what was it? How does she have, she comes to them when they're leaving the oasis with like painted on like an animal skin map to the bunker and to the inside of the bunker or whatever like how does she have that is his question. Yeah how did they get blue do they make blueprints on animal skins? Well, it's going to be answered in Solar Babies, Rogue One. It's about how they stole that map so that they would understand the aqua facility that the protectorate operates at the dam. Farce would've grew, you're supposed to be great in it. Yup. I would love a precursor movie that explained that storyline.

Alright, so your name, your title, and your question. I would love a precursor movie that explained that storyline. Alright, so your name, your title, and your question. Jake, Roller Dummies, and I'm not convinced that Bodi is good. Bodi. Bodi, sorry. Hey, you know what? Who are you, a rabbit? You do you.

Hey, rabbit. No, you do you. You do you. You say it the way you want. I mean, as soon as the solar babies find him, they start killing. If he makes it rain or whatever, we're under the assumption that there was some sort of nuclear fallout.

So anything that's coming down is acid rain. It's going to be just poisoning everything it touches. You're a scientist. Giving, I think it's giving possibly creating hey, possibly, hey I'm talking to you, are you a scientist? Possibly creating, you know that? You know that for sure? You know what the acid rain? I'm just, I'm just guessing. Those are raining inside. If they show, if they showed this, if the movie went on for like another two months there would just be like people with tumors. Wait, if the movie? If the movie itself lasted for two months? Glowing ball tumors creating more

I'm sure a lot would happen. Think what happened in an hour thirty-four. It's been blowing ball tumors, creating more bone-d This guy with his pro-protectorate propaganda coming in here like, oh, Bodi's very bad for the children, they shouldn't have rainwater. Bodi, has anybody thought that Bodi and his rain might be, might be nothing more than just left-wing claptrap? Has anyone considered that scorpions are winners and what we need at this juncture? Classic Bodi denier. And he called him Bodi. and what we need at this juncture. Classic Boat-Eye Denier. Yeah. Wait a second. You call him Boaty.

This makes total sense. I saw a motorcycle with two side cars at the valet. So this is his car. I saw a rubber coat at the coat check. Can we talk about the clothes really quickly? Oh yes, please, please. Literally everyone is wearing fucking rags and like banana peels and then Nazi guy has

like one like the most custom-made coat and then Angelica Houston is wearing a white blouse in a dusty in a world that is only dirty. Yeah. Fake Angelica Houston's wearing and it's like they're the only two people still getting up every morning and being like I'm gonna make it. Yeah. and it's like they're the only two people still getting up every morning and being like, I'm gonna make an effort. Yeah. She's also wearing a blouse that has like six inches

of shoulder pads. Yeah. To the point where when I saw her body, I thought, oh, she's a heavy woman. And that's great. And that's great. And that's great. And that's great.

And no problems here. That's great for body image until her hands catch fire. And a child watches her die. When they cut to that shot, I realized when you saw a full-length shot of her, she's very thin. She just has on... Also great, which is also great. Which is neither here. Fine, fine with me. I don't care. Again, bode, bodeye. You do you.

Yes. I was trying to get a sense of this body. No, because what she's wearing is like one of those 80s blousey kind of jumpsuity things that is like layered fabric, like pleats on pleats on pleats. It's all pleats basically, which is you know like a real thing in a lot of these movies that is like there's probably 75 feet of fabric on her body. Absolutely, absolutely. She conservatively weighs 100 pounds. I do wanna talk about what this guy brought up

about the end, because the dam breaks, the next scene there's an oak. So many people must die. So many people must die because they live where the water was and isn't anymore. Yes. And all of it comes through, kills hundreds of people, I guess. But then a thunderstorm starts as well.

Because of the dam breaking? I think because of Bodi. But why couldn't he have just done that any time? Why? Yeah, I agree with that. Because Bodi seems to spend a lot of time hanging around in people's backpacks and getting played with like a ball

instead of doing what he's there to do. Well, that's their fault. Which is bring back, which is reverse climate change. Which is what we are doing to this world. Which is why we're here talking about it tonight. Look it up. Look it up. We're about to do all of Al Gore's slideshow right now.

Listen, the thing about Bodai is that he, I think, responds to someone really asking him to do something. Right. Which is why the ending was a little confusing, because it didn't seem as though there was some energy with that, you know, headed his way asking him to be sent water. It's a lot of confusing stuff because I also feel like they're only protecting Bodi.

And then at one point when Lucas Haas drops it, Jason Patrick's like, Daniel, no! Like, no, yeah, pick it up, it's right there on the ground. Sacrifice yourself for Bodi. Yeah. Should be everybody's MO. Bodi is the most important. Bodi is, in this movie, Harry Potter. Bodi is the most important. Bodi is, in this movie, Harry Potter.

Bodi is the one. Bodi is the lead character in the movie, right? But also, I felt like he dropped it at his feet, and it was like, we're done. We're gonna run. Get out of here. Let's all roll away in tires. But here's the strange thing, though, about Bodi.

There are times when, I mean, we know him as a ball. That's how we met him. But there are times where he- we know him as a ball. That's how we met him, but there are times where And that's how that's how we that's how he ends like Dome he's sort of a Shape-shift so if I'm Bodi, I'm just like I'm releasing myself out of backpacks and just getting the fuck out of there Like why is Bodi allow himself to even be- Cause he's polite. Yeah, like he's put into that contraption where the robot comes and the fake angelic Houston says

we're gonna disembowel him and it's a ball. Yeah. Like what do you mean you're gonna disembowel him? Like this is a straight up ball of energy right now that you've been hitting with lasers. By the way, I love it. You're not gonna pull bowels out of it. That would be, I would have loved that.

If the robot was like, this is it, and like it just like all of a sudden, Bodi, like his asshole just fell out entirely. They are not, they are such bad Nazis. They're not even curious about how to exploit any of these amazing resources. Like if they found ET, they're not even curious about how to exploit any of these amazing resources. Like if they found ET, they would be like, let's fuck him in the ass. Put a drill bit in his head.

Let's beat the shit out of him and take his money. Bring him to me. You have a title of the movie in your question? Yes. My name is Jessica. Sand Nazis, I guess, for a title. Why in the orphanage, why is there roller skate training at all if they're being inducted into the system and they don't have roller skates at any point in the military?

I think Charles Durning, because he doesn't like his job, I think he brought skate ball to them to be like, look, these kids have to have something, you know? And then Evil Nazi Rubber Suit was like, yeah, I'm in on that, but in a bad way. So I think they built this skate park. I mean, it is an orphanage.

They were like, look, we gotta give him fucking something. And it looked like that was- Yeah, but here's the weird thing about that skate session. You know, it's set up, I thought when they first skated in there, they're all gonna be skating in the same way and doing some Nazi moves, cause there's all that Nazi video-

It's almost like a video of Rodney King beating up on the screens. But then- It's like a Macintosh ad. But then it just, it actually, all it is is just an All Skate where everyone's just skating. Oh, about the video screens during the All Skate, during the kids skate. Are they matching what's happening?

They seem to be. Because when people fall, like the people in the video fall, does that make sense? Yeah, I noticed that as well, but I think they, but I think that was them trying to be clever filmmakers. I don't think that was supposed to be... Well, then they succeeded. Oh, that was the day they tried? Yeah. I don't think that was supposed to be mirroring...

The one day. Yeah. I don't think they were supposed to be mirroring the screens purposefully. Right. I do want to say about this audience, you guys have come very prepared. I've seen pages and pages of notes here. Sir, your title, your question. I still want somebody to start a Tumblr where everybody can post their nerd notes. My name is Tim.

The title would be Lost Boys Meets Witness. Yes. You guys need to decide who you like best. My question's about the legal system. It's illegal to know where you're from. It's elite fiction is illegal. Yes, and if someone escapes from the orphanage by law You're required to surgically alter them. Yeah. Oh, yeah, the surgically alter. That was a weird thing She's like we'll be surgically altered in what way the most interesting things about the This society were just mentioned and we never saw.

I mean, even them saying that the kids were medicated, it sounded like they probably were on some medication at some point and they thought they were taking meds that made them hallucinate, but there were references. I mean, I don't know what that could mean. I don't know if we saw people who were surgically altered. If so, I didn't notice it. We never saw it come to fruition.

That's certainly true. I don't think so, unless it's underneath clothing. So you think it's genital altering. Genital in nature? Sewing vaginas shut? I don't know that it's not. Hey, Paul. Yeah.

Hey, Paul. We were all thinking it. Can you not say we were all thinking it. Can you not, can you not say, we were all sewing vaginas shut? Calm down. We were all thinking it, guys. None of us were. Sewing buttholes, sewing vaginas,

we all was on the tip of everyone's tongue. It was not at all. But you came to you real quick. This audience is right behind me here. They've all pictured a sone butt hole. Sir, your name, your title, and your question. My name is Brian. By the way, Brian, who has Brian note paper, your name is at the top with a soccer ball on it. It's from third grade. With a soccer ball on it? It is, it is like from third grade. Where's my notepad?

It's solar 20 somethings. And did anyone else think that Jamie Gertz's Messiah Father looked like they put robes and a beard and long hair on Norm MacDonald? Wow, one person did. Get married, get married. That is a Huddlest Get Made Love connection. Yes, stand up up did you say norm McDonald yeah I didn't get that I got more Barry Gibb is it possible yeah we'll

take a quick look Barry Gibb to me was one yeah by the way I bet he does cuz you said it and someone jumped on it so quickly all right here we go we're gonna take a look at this guy but this is not gonna be good for the people at home. Does that look like Norm MacDonald to you or Barry Gibb? Barry Gibb. It's also like a little Richard Chamberlain-y. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think Norm MacDonald, sir, but you two should definitely get together, because you saw that. Oh, my question about the bounty hunters was this. So the bounty hunters find the solar babies, they find them wherever they are in the desert or whatnot, they grab them, they lash them to their cart, and the solar babies are like the horses

that are pulling the bounty hunter's cart. Until they found the solar babies, how did that cart move? Wow. They're in the middle of the, they're tracking the Solar Babies. With nothing to pull the cart with. So is one of them constantly pulling the cart?

What's their life? What's that, I would watch a prequel movie or a side movie that's just the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead of those two characters. Are you pitching out a giant Marvel-like universe stemming from Solar Baby? All of it. Yes, Star Wars-esque universe in which there's a there's a bounty hunter movie, there's a prequel movie about the map. Does it all come back to Blazing Saddles? It all goes back to Spaceballs, I think. Oh, yes. Paul, very excited about that idea. Guys, I want to see more Spaceballs. Wait, no it's not. I thought Jamie Gertz was in space balls for a second,

but it's not. No, it's definitely Saniga. It is. Here we go. If you have a comment that you wanna talk to us about that we didn't cover and you're listening right now, you could call us at 619 Paul Ask, ASK. 619 Paul Ask.

Paul, are you sure it's not Paul Ass? You know, a lot of people have been asking for that. you sure it's putting up Paul ass you know a lot of people have been asking for that no it's not Paul ass that's a different number for something very different and if you do call that number I will tell you it's confidential and whatever we do is in the privacy of our house so you can leave about you can leave things like this. Hi Paul, my name is Erin and I just wanted to chime in on June's taste for man flexibility and I'm right there with her. I think that there is something to the stretching of one's

tank and balls that is just unpalatable and I fully support you also June and I both don't really love fun and I think that that also has something to do with the distaste for seeing a man in full 180 degrees splits So that is someone commenting on June's lack of your distaste for man flexibility. So there you go. That's great. I mean, I think there's a lot more ladies out there who feel the same. Who are afraid to come forward.

To support your anti-buns, anti-flexibility movement. I wouldn't say I'm anti-buns. I just think, I think the movie and TV industry think women are super into buns. And I don't think we are. Wow. Controversial, very controversial. Well obviously we have a lot of opinions about buns, about splits.

Obviously we had an opinion about this movie, but there are other people out there that had a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions. We've heard from Jason, June and Paul but we've yet to hear from all of the online critics that disagree this movie's crap. It's time for second opinions. It's time for second opinions. Yeah! What's your name, sir? John. Give it up for John.

Great work. Very good. Great work. These are... Remix that. Remix that, Internet. These are five-star opinions, cold, from Amazon. Here we go.

First one from Robin B. McGorin. Wonderful story. And the cast did a magnificent job to make this worthwhile entertainment. I rated this an A-plus grade for being very different and a wonderful movie for the entire family to sit and watch. I don't think there are many around

as enjoyable as this one. There are literally tens of thousands. You wanna know more? I'm not gonna spoil it for you. Why don't you retreat to the lounge room, put on the television, grab the popcorn, relax to the greatest entertainment this show can produce and enjoy. This chef, does she live in the year 41? She speaks, she speaks in 41 speak. Go to the lounge room. There was a lot of like fake lingo, you know,

they'd be like let's accelerate or as somebody said at one point, somebody goes, you believe all that dog squeeze they tell us in class? Dog squeeze is my favorite. You believe all that dog squeeze? What? That's obviously like dog shit. But they're like, we can't say shit. There's kids in the movie.

They can murder people. We can light a lady's hands on fire and then electrocute her to death. We can have them commit the act of murder, irrevocably taking a human life, but we cannot have them hear shit. And this is right here. This is from Kermiton.

Wrote, as a 75 year old man purchasing this DVD. Wow. Wow. It's already an amber alert. Purchase. It's already an amber alert. Wow. As a 75 year old man purchasing this DVD because I just saw a quick view and it caught my attention.

So I purchased it and found out it had a good story, smart young people and a good production. Take a chance on this one. And anyway, if you don't like it, just give it to a kid that you don't like. Ooh. No. Nasty old math. That is like...

Like, that is a pedophiles review. Like, for sure. I saw a quick view of it and bought the DVD. You know, he's just like on the internet, just searching around and he's like, yeah, here's a good quick view. Okay, this is, okay, here we go. This is from Alisa Rosales.

If you like sci-fi, you'll like this. It was a movie from my childhood and I wish there are more movies to access from that time period. Five stars. Nope. 1986 was this movie. You can't find any movies from that time period. It's impossible.

There's no way to know. And I thought this was worth playing here. It's the first ever video second opinion. I didn't know this was possible. Yes, it is indeed. And here we go, and it's so sweet and lovely. Here we go. I was really excited to receive Solar Ruby's in the mail.

I had totally forgotten that I ordered it. And then I went on vacation and then I got back and it was here. And I really enjoyed watching the movie because it is a good childhood movie. But I had forgotten so much of it and it really brought back a lot of really good memories. Oh my gosh. The sweetest... Solar Babies is good memories for him. But he can't remember any of it. He had forgotten a lot of it.

And he had forgotten he ordered it. Yeah. There's a lot of talk of how they purchased it. But you know what it is. Here's what happened. He should go and see. There was a link, a hyperlink, for a website selling DVDs.

It's not like you read the New York Times and like theater critics are like, well, first of all, I had to go to the box office. I don't like seats in the orchestra. I go for rear mezzanine. I had bought the tickets and I didn't realize it was Tuesday. Someone told me, hey, I know you just got back from vacation, but it's Tuesday.

I do think for him though, a lot of his review has to do with the fact that he just got back from vacation. It's that feeling of like, oh, the good days are over, like I'm back to the grind. And then there's a special surprise for him. I feel like a doctor could diagnose a neurological disorder with this video of a man who cannot remember the movie from his childhood,

who doesn't remember ordering it, like has like severe, in like one and a half minutes, severe memory problems. Also, like Stanley Kubrick, like framed, he's like between two doors. It's very weird. It's center point focus. He's perfectly centered between two white doors,

and he can't remember how he got there. If you want to find out more about Solar Babies, you can go to SlashFilm.com. There will be a brand new article written by Blake J. Harris there. If you want to find out more about Solar Babies, you can go to slashfilm.com. There'll be a brand new article written by Blake J. Harris there. He will get into it for another one of his oral histories. Anything to add before we wrap it up here? Anything that we didn't talk about?

Oh boy. We didn't talk about them skating over that ravine. Oh yeah, the jump. The jump. The skate jump. And getting to build faster speeds by everybody skating in a circle. They seem to have a lot, they have roller derby skills, they sometimes have baseball skills, they have pole vaulting skills. I was going to say, he pole vaults over an electric gate like it's nothing.

Like that would be impossible. A, to find a pole for pole vaulting. That would sustain that kind of weight. Yes. Oh, yeah, and it's like an 18-foot fence. I mean, I'm just trying to imagine, because the implication is sometimes that these feats are easier or are helped by skates. And I'm trying to imagine if I really had to make that jump,

would I want to be on roller skates? I mean those skates are so heavy. Yeah, I Think I might just just try and jump it tried and jump it I just there they never seem to be helped by their skates again Most of the movie takes place in sand. Yeah. Yeah I would also argue why not just make the bridge slightly like one is higher and one is lower? It was a direct, like, straight away.

No way. So they really... And Jason Patrick makes it alone. Yeah. With no help. He just can do it, because he's the boss, who is not the star of the movie, who's not the hero. Who again has no powers to speak of besides jumping that big ditch.

Yeah, basically. Yeah. I like when the motorcycles try to chase them. Instead of accelerating, they sort of slow up and do like a donut and then fall into it. Even though kids have just jumped in on roller skates. Yeah, arguably they would have the most speed and they could easily traverse that. They would definitely have the most speed and they could easily traverse that. They would definitely have the most speed

because they're on motorcycles. Yes. And it seems to me like. And they're like, I know how to do it. Grrr. And they blow up and the babies cheer, another one dead. Lucas Haas actually ends up as one of the bounty hunters

30 years later, like, oh yeah, what do you want? I'll make that movie too. Yeah. I'm into it. I'm very into that. He can only get off if her hands are on fire. Right. And Jamie Gertz is now involved in some sort

of weird sexual relationship with her dad, because that seems like where that's going. I don't know. We need to get Mel Brooks to talk about this. Blake Harris should get Mel Brooks to kind of find out what went on. I would be curious to know if there were duplicate locations for Spaceballs, if it was like, rush that into production,

like, oh, we have like 12 extra days in the desert. And they were like, OK, all right, get the roller. Get the roller. get the roller babies. All right, so you can follow us on our Facebook page, you can follow us on Twitter, make sure you call us at 617PaulAsk and read our article on SlashFilm. And a big thank you to Avril Halle who pulls all of our clips, You can follow her on Movie Bitches on YouTube. Jalai Diaz, Nate Kiley, Marissa Zeitz, Leanna Waldron, everybody here at Largo, and the people at Earwulf. Thank you guys so much.

We'll see you next time, bye bye. Woo! Yeah! Woo!