How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: Swordfish LIVE!

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

Paul, June, & Jason break down the 2001 action thriller Swordfish starring John Travolta, Hugh Jackman, and Halle Berry. They discuss Travolta's soul patch, Hugh Jackman's computer hacking skills, a helicopter picking up a bus, and so much more. (Originally Released 08/13/2020) Troll 2 VIRTUAL live show on Sept 6th (pay what you can tickets) + we'll be in NYC on Nov 15th! Go to hdtgm.com for ticket info, merch, and for more on bad movies.Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of TraumaFor extra content on Matinee Monday movies, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerTalk bad movies on the HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerFollow Paul’s movie recs on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/Check out new HDTGM movie merch over at teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmPaul and Rob Huebel stream live on Twitch every Thursday 8-10pm EST: www.twitch.tv/friendzoneLike good movies too? Subscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comWhere to find Paul, June, & Jason:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on social mediaGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link siriusxm.com/hdtgm and code HDTGM.

If I know one rule about hacking, it has to be don't hack while hard. We saw Sardfish, so you know what that means. Sports an 80-gallon baby in this belly Rock a wild stove ass while rippin' Justin and Kelly A baby see a burlesque show with Nick Crowe And take a bullet speed to hit the cruise control J.D. Big Paul and the beautiful Julie Gonna take you from the cold all the way to the road Brave against the street by the hope to blow off steam Just a sucker punch the iron like Fatimah Brave shot, little bit murder demic, how we standin' alive

They call me when they're badass and he's on the line Hello people of Earth! And hello people of Denver! We are here at the High Plains Comedy Festival at the Paramount Theater in Denver, Colorado and we are so excited to be here with you people from Colorado and people from far away. I know a lot of people have come from different places. Who here is from not centrally located areas? It's a lot. We're gonna give you a Because Swordfish, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I will say this, I own this on DVD. I was like, this movie is cool. I have not watched it for many years. And when I was flying here today, I was laughing out loud on the plane, like cackling. So I cannot wait to get into this movie, which is really, in many ways, a prequel to the X-Men, because I mean,

almost every one of them is in it. Patrick Stewart as a background performer in the very end. Um, but we're- I can't talk about this movie by myself. I have to talk about it with my amazing co-host. Please welcome to the stage, Mr. Jason Manzoukas! ["Jawz!" by Jason Manzoukas plays in the background.] What's up, Jarks? ["Jawz!" by Jason Manzoukas plays in the background? How we doing, Denver?

Second show? Late show? Yeah! Alright! Looking good! I like this town. I like this town. Having trouble sleeping? can barely breathe. Find myself gasping for breath a lot.

It's very difficult for me when I go up to the balcony. I need to take a break at multiple points. Oh no, it's pretty nuts. I also didn't take a shit for like two days Is that an altitude thing or my diet not sure but I'm gonna blame you fuckos. I Always think it's hotel shyness. That's what I always chalk it up hotel shyness You get shy to shit in a hotel. I feel like I have to wait about a day before I can like I recently had to call downstairs to get a plunger at a hotel because I had like aggressively clogged the toilet and the kind of came was like I was like listen dude you can give me the plunger and he goes oh no no I'll do it I'll do it I was like I really don't want you to have to you know I got this I got this I got this and he goes he did came went in and did it and then he's leaving he goes big fan man big fan I was like no no and then he licked the plunger I'm selling this on eBay. Jason Swordfish. Oh boy. Yowza McGowza, this was not fun to watch.

I'm gonna cut straight to the end. I would not recommend you watch this movie. Right. I'm gonna jump straight in and say I would not recommend this movie. So already we're at odds because I found this to be an entertaining rump. I kept being like is something wrong with the TV? Do I need to adjust the... You know what I did need to adjust constantly? The volume. It is... it is... Christopher Nolan done wrong, right?

I was like, this is seizure inducing. Yes the movie is shot with an Instagram filter, it's fine. The whole movie is so saturated in red and green that I was like, is this a Christmas movie? Well, you know, there's one person who loves action movies more than either one of us. And she's going to have a lot to say tonight. Please welcome June Diane Rayfield! Ah Welcome June. Hi Paul. How are you? Good So it's funny you said that about the saturation. I watched this movie on my computer

Just hours. Hey, well you have a computer. That's so cool. I watched this movie on my computer just hours ago. Hey, wow, you have a computer? That's so cool. I have one and then Paul has a separate one. Whoa. Yeah. It's pretty cool. And sometimes they put them together and play the same thing and it looks for our left eye and our right eye. So it wasn't until about 50 minutes in that I realized the brightness was on just like the first knob. So because it was so weirdly saturated I just thought, oh this is a choice that I can't see it. I can't see this film. It was so dark. Turns out it wasn't quite as dark as I thought.

Well June, this is interesting that this happened because one of the first movies we ever watched together... Primary Colors. Primary Colors... Oh, no, no, it was Manchurian Candidate. Oh, you're right. Manchurian Candidate. One of the first movies we ever watched was in a hotel that had DVD player. And we watched Manchurian Candidate, but the contrast was turned down so dark

that we couldn't see it, and we kept on justifying why it was so dark. Like, cool choice this director Like you can barely see who's in the scene We watched the entire movie and because neither one of you wanted to be like I think something might be wrong I think we were really giving it like the benefit of the doubt because it's like when do you ever go like I need to adjust the contrast on my TV like constantly It's like when do you ever go like I need to adjust the contrast on my TV like constantly Yeah, we watch the entire Manchurian candidate like cool edgy edgy very edgy barely can see can hear voices

I'm only just now seen that we are We are surrounded by giant wallpaper of Travolta Alibarri and a young We are surrounded by a giant wallpaper of Travolta, Alleyberry, and a young hacker named Hugh Jackman. This movie, I think it's so trying to be cool like Quentin Tarantino through the filter of Joel Silver, which is like, you know, it's because Joel Silver did produce it but it's like we're gonna open this movie with a monologue about how Hollywood sucks. We could do Kevin Smith too

motherfucker. Like I feel like that was what it was. But on a big budget and the monologue is gonna end with a Matrix explosion. Like a bullet time, but better than the Matrix, because it's gonna go through the whole scene, and you're gonna go in, and it was, that opening monologue, I was like, oh no, is this the movie? Well, that opening shot used 203 synchronized still cameras, and it's the most complicated effect in Warner Brothers history. For that? For what? To what end? It cost $90,000. Just that shot.

Just that explosion. And it took two days to shoot. And in the screenplay, all that was written was, the SWAT guys dragged the hostage away, and kaboom. All I want in life is to be writing a script and to unironically put the word kaboom, and be like, Zooks, you did it again. Print and send to Hollywood Kaboom.

What made me so angry is that when the Kaboom happened, so I thought throughout the rest of the movie, like that woman who went Kaboom is going to come back in some way. Like there was so- In pieces? She's gonna come back in... I'm playing with pieces. Like there she is going all the way through. But I figured she's gonna be a character that's introduced. There was so much put on her and saving her. Yes, then we're gonna build up to

why we care about her dying. Never do. Nope. Never do well I mean the movie does have some timeline problems Oh when it when they cut to four days earlier, I was like fuck It was so can you rewind Paul? What do you do? Is that just this or is that the movie? Or is it just that scene? Is this just Oh, it's just a scene, yeah. Oh, okay. I wanted to... Oh, okay, we don't have Travolta. Travolta in the opening monologue...

Oh, I have that whole monologue. Oh, great. Please no. Please no. Why do we have to watch it? We don't have to watch the whole thing, but there's something I really want to talk about. I have a thing, okay great. So the movie opens up with like grainy video footage, which you don't understand.

Later on in the movie when you do understand what's going on, this grainy footage makes no sense. It's not like, oh I get it now. It was just simply a stylistic choice. All right, here we go. You know the problem with Hollywood is? They make shit. Unbelievable, unremarkable shit.

Is this a warning to us before we watch the movie? Like, he's saying to you, foreshadowing assholes, this is one of those things. And don't they think that people, that every review will be like, here's a quote from the first line of the movie, and guess what? You did it again, Hollywood.

Like you're just giving them ammunition. All right, here we go. I'm not something. Oh, and before we go on, if you've not seen this movie, picture John Travolta with a goatee that I wouldn't even know how to describe it. It's not a goatee, first time.

No, it's not. It's a line. It's a line of hair. It's a soul patch. Soul patch. It's like a soul patch. It's also not a soul patch though. It's connected to the beard.

It is a straight line underneath, centered under his bottom lip. Ugh, it literally makes me ill. You know what it's like? It's like he's drooling something dark. It's like he's drooling something dark straight out the front of his mouth. That's his facial hair choice. Every day he shaves it into this,

and he's like, fucking nailed it. I wanna talk about how he decided that. Did he have a full beard and shave it down to the strip, or did he just never shave on either side of that and let it grow in full? Also, I could talk about his hair in this movie for hours, both at the beginning and at the end when it's frosted tips I'm like, but let's play a little bit for there's just one thing

I want to talk about here that happens you want to be filmmaker that's searching for existentialism through a haze of bong smoke or something No, it's easy to pick apart bad acting short-sighted jump forward a and a purely moronic stringing together of words that many of the studio's term is pros. Okay. Yeah, how wide is his tie? His tie is conservatively eight inches wide. Was that ever in fashion? Did we ever wear ties like that? What's happening with that tie? I had a question about this too because I had a question about his collar. I was like, when did we ever make a collar that is eating the tie? Also why does he hold his cigars like this?

What's going on there? They're also, I'm also led to believe after the reveal of the scene that he in the bomb device that he's carrying in his hand that looks like brass knuckles, he also installed a cigar like chopper. No. So yes, because he chops a cigar in something but I think that's the bomb device too. So he was like, you know what? I probably will have a moment where I'm going to want to light a cigar when I'm holding somebody hostage.

Hold like this, strangely. Like a pipe. He holds a cigar like a pipe. Not even like a pipe. I don't know what it's like. See, these are some of the details I couldn't see at the brightness level I watched the film the wideness I was I was beside myself when I saw how wide his tie was and I was beside myself when I looked at that fucking collar all right here we go people

massages right away and it's not in no mercy no quarter meet our demands are the pretty blonde and the bell-bottoms gets it in the back of the head BAM splat What still no bus the only thing in focus is the labels on the liquor behind them currently Like the kids it's wild choices and now tea. Oh, it's a coffee shop who cares Oh, it's a coffee shop, who cares? I'm splattered across the window. What'd it take to have the city reverse its policy on hostage situations? And this is 1976. There's no CNN. There's no CNBC.

There's no there's no Internet. Now fast forward to today, present time, same situation. How quickly would the modern make a fr- Well, I do have an issue with this the whole opening monologue Which you heard a little bit of is about dog day afternoon And he's like this movie is playing into all the Hollywood tropes. Why couldn't they get away with it? Why couldn't they do it? I'm like because it's a based on a true story like if you're gonna be like ripping apart the

true story? Like if you're gonna be like ripping apart the inconsistencies, why couldn't he have gotten away? Why didn't he kill the hostages? Because it didn't happen. Like you couldn't- Why can't he live happily ever after with his boyfriend after his boyfriend gets the sex change operated? Because that's not what actually happened. That's not the story. This is based on a true story. I'm gonna blow your mind right now. Yeah. This is is based on a true story. I'm gonna blow your mind right now Yeah, this is also based on a true story This whole movie actually happened. They are suppressing that information They don't want us to know crisis actors

But can't you just like can we just agree that how fucking lazy? You could pick any movie and they pick the one that's based on a real thing. Like, you're talking about how Hollywood is lame and out of ideas. It's like, oh my gosh, Dunkirk. And they just rescued those people from the water? Nice try, but I don't like happy endings. Saving Private Ryan, and, uh, they just all happen to be on the beach with the weapons?

Weird. My question is, with this scene that we see right now, when does it happen, though, in the course of the movie? Right before the woman blows up. Right, but if you. But we don't ever go back to this scene. No we go up there, we go back to the events right after this scene where the woman blows up. But you go back to when they first go into the bank and there never is a moment where he's like, hold please let's run across the street. Yeah. Like yes. They never, you never see them take him out of the bank and go and have this yeah

What what cuz I guess here's my question, why do they go talk to the FBI randomly oh I'm assuming to make their whatever doesn't he say don't fuck with us, but but but what I'm assuming It's like to waste time to put dog collars on all the people that work at the bank. I don't know. Okay, just one word about the hostages. Now, every once in a while, like usually I feel like with extras, if they're doing their jobs,

you never notice them. It's when something's very off that your eyes like just fall on them. It's when something's very off that your eyes like just fall on them. Those hostages, when they were all sitting together in those lines, they didn't make a movement, they didn't make a sound. When they got on the bus together, they were the most... it was as though like another day, another day as a hostage. Another day, another day at World Bank. There was no sense of just like struggle or anyone crying or just duress it was like here we go guys everybody are we all strapped

to our bombs let's head out there they were so good at being background performers for that they forgot to act it was like so today I'm sorry guys you're gonna have to wear this thing around your neck I'm gonna put you on a bus and it's gonna be hot there okay great no we'll do it we'll do it action they were we'll wait we'll wait should I be noticing that there's a bomb on me or do you think I don't notice there's a bomb on me? It's so... I mean... Is this a local bus or express? Just for my character. Okay so the bus is now being picked up by a helicopter? Okay. Cool. And so my reaction should just be like okay. Yeah I'm like I'm pretty cool with it though

right? I mean because... When the bus gets picked up by a, I'm like, I'm pretty cool with it though, right? I mean, because when the bus gets picked up by a helicopter, I was like, okay, movie, I'm interested. For the first time, I'm interested in what you're doing. I don't mind this move at all. And when the guy has to go and be like, well, sir, they're not on first street anymore. Okay, where are they? Well, they've moved over to there. Okay, well, let's go over there. Nope, they're not there now either. Where are they? They're airborne. Oh, but I, that really milked that by the way. Oh, took him 10 questions. Like, you know what? If you're at the FBI, you know what? Hey, you know, the guy that just blew up three city blocks. You're not gonna believe this a fucking helicopter

Just Just take the bus off the street Boss, I'm not kidding. This shit is happening. You don't come in and be like, hey, you know that bus that was on 1st Street? Yeah, they're off 1st Street. They turned onto Spring. Oh, well, I guess we should go to... Oh, no, they're not going to LAX. Oh, okay, so then where should we meet them? Well, they're airborne.

Start there, bro. Start there. By the way, what was... Because guess what time is of the essence? Time is a tickin I mean what would happen is you would what would happen is you would literally go like holy shit Fucking helicopter came Fucking pick up the bus. It's flying over the city What the fuck and then the other guy went like what?

the city what the fuck and then the other guy would be like what where is it they would all run to look at it and see a picture of it because it's insane yeah it's like you you would at that point have to be like boss these guys might be smarter than us because you're not going to believe this a helicopter has picked up the bus Are all the hostages still on it? Yup! Are they all docile and cool? Totally! Oh my god. Holy shit! This movie! When Sam Shepard showed up I was like, oh no!

Sometimes you gotta take a paycheck. Is that your Sam Shepard impression? Yeah! It's very good! Oh no. Sometimes you gotta take a paycheck. Is that your Sam Shepard impression? Yeah. It's very good. Thank you. I thought it was Sam Elliott impression, but it works both ways.

I have a note in my thing that is, what's the sunglasses budget on this movie? People, every character has glasses available. Whether they are eyeglasses or sunglasses, that they are constantly taking on and off. The only character who doesn't have either is the daughter who has both. I wrote down the daughter is wearing a fashion sense of 1960s meets old world immigrant. I was like what's happening here? It's like if John Lennon got off at Ellis Island that would be it. She's wearing like a tinted lens or a progressive lens. Her mother is dead at the end of the movie and she's like where are we going dad what I wrote down? this movie is quirky as fuck because

nothing Nothing if you really think about it makes a lick of sense from the first scene when you see Hugh Jackman He's in a towel as if he just took a shower But then he climbed to the top of his trailer to then hit some golf balls which Is I mean okay? I guess but it's a long way around to be like drying off Hit some golf balls in my towel like it's I I wrote is he wearing a loincloth? No, it's a good question because it didn't it wasn't really a towel texture

It didn't seem like it because and then I wrote oh, maybe it's a towel But I first thought this character's introduction was wearing a loincloth And I kind of was like okay. I'm curious. I'm curious about this as a character choice Yeah, I think my guy would wear a loincloth. What do you mean? You know like Tarzan At home only right yeah at home only you know for around the house and hitting golf balls off the roof And he doesn't seem to be that good at it. Nope Seems like he's got nothing else to do can't see his child. He should be hitting good golf balls can't touch a computer Oh my gosh

Can't even touch a computer touch a computer. Well. gosh. By the way, can't even touch a computer. Can't touch a computer. Well, he's such a nerd. I mean, right? Yeah. Q Jackman is like the quintessential nerd. So like, when the one nerd goes, whoa, Halle Berry is way out of his league. I'm like, no she ain't.

They're both fucking gorgeous they are they are two of the most unequivocally beautiful people you could imagine like they are both incredibly gorgeous and in this movie both of them are gorgeous and they actually have the only chemistry in this movie that is at all interesting I thought you know I thought John Travolta had some good chemistry with Hugh Jackman. Um... There's the loin cloth. I mean, what's up with this?

This is a movie, though, with a... There's a fan! Why? We're outside! He has built... How often do you need a desk fan outdoors? He has built, like, this bobo cabana for himself that's, like, tattered cloth.

It's, again, it's just making choices to make choices. It's like the set decoration here is like, ah, whatever, sure. Like, um... It also made me curious. Like, I know he wants to get Holly back, but what, I wanted to know, what's, bro, what steps have you taken so far within the legal system

to get your daughter back? Cause right now I see you hitting golf balls off your roof at noon in a towel. And also, also, it genuinely seems as though she, the daughter, is in jeopardy. It's definitely. It's the Strip Seize scenario. Just call Child Protection Services

and tell them to go over to that home. This, that's all it takes. Yeah, there's literally porn shoots in her living room. She's in actual danger. Yes. So like, it would make sense I guess he's not allowed to see her and she's with the mother and they're like we don't want to see you. Okay I can't you know, it's it's con air but the judge you know, the judge is like

She the mother goes Larry's her father now And it's like okay and it has an issue that I always have with movies like this sometimes where it's like, he's a hacker, but then we find out he was actually hacking something that was bad to, you know, Robin Hooding it, you know, and then he gets two years in prison, but they treat him like, and then you cut off the girl's head and you drank her blood. Like, why is he being so, like, villainized? Like he's a bad guy. Just a hacker who tried to Robin Hood something, like, it's not like he's a criminal, like, you know?

Well, what they, that's, they're trying to thread the needle of making him be part of the bad guys, but the hero of the movie, right? So he's the hero that we're supposed to be rooting for, but he is a bad guy. So they're giving him all this bad guy backstory, but that doesn't jive with either Hugh Jackman or like, this is a character Nick Cage would play. A hundred percent. You know? Well here, you know, some of you may not be familiar with this, but there's a book that

kind of took Hollywood by storm called Save the Cat, right? And in Save the Cat, the idea is that in every movie, your protagonist has to do something to show that they are a nice person. So you're on their side, they have a save the cat moment. And I would argue the save the cat moment here is when he pushes Halle Berry out of a door onto the ground. Boom, boom.

What are we watching here? is when he pushes Halle Berry out of a door onto the ground. Boom! Like, what... What are we watching here? He pushes a woman... out a door. Like, she- Simply because she asks about his daughter. Boom! And by the way, this doesn't justify it, but had they met before this encounter?

No! This is their first introduction. It's- Wow! He pushed her out of an elevated door. And like you're supposed to be like, cool, I like this guy. I'm on his side. Her name is Ginger, right?

Da da da da da da da. Okay, we go through the whole thing and you know, we're talking about, you know, like a cabal of villains from all organizations. She reveals she's a DEA agent at 1.2. Hugh Jackman, he's like, okay, got it. And then later they're like, well, there's no record of a ginger such-and-such. And I was like, do you think she was going by her own name in her undercover mission with the most dangerous like terrorist in the world she's just using her DEA agent well I mean again there's a lot of fucking questions here because and also very few answers yeah I mean it also

looks like John Travolta has access to the face-off technology in this movie because he has the same face as the guy but at the end when we see him with the blonde tips he has kept the face. So I go huh. That was never explained. Remember when... Okay so again I watched this at a very low brightness. When Hugh Jackman sees that face on the ground. Yes. in the wine cellar, was that John Travolta's face? Yes! Who was that?

That was the Mossad agent who they identify in the helicopter burn. Remember? So the presumption, I'm assuming, is that John Travolta has had plastic surgery to look like the Mossad agent agent they're gonna use as the corpse in the misdirect of the helicopter and that that body's being kept in the chilly wine cellar so that it doesn't yet decompose. Kaboom! And that's the actual plot of the movie.

Yes, and Halle Berry is working for him, but duping Hugh Jackman so he would be working for them. Now, when I saw the Travolta in the thing, the Travolta corpse, I was like, oh no, are they prestige-ing us? That's what I thought. I was like, what is, are they prestiginess? That's what I thought. I was like, what is going on here? I was like, are we going to prestige this movie? Hugh Jackman was in the prestige.

You can't do this twice. You can't have twin brothers. Spoilers for the prestige. Twin brothers did it in the prestige. Bullshit Hollywood. Twin brothers did it in the prestige. We need the chairs again. BULLSHIT HOLLYWOOD, TWIN BROTHERS, BULLSHIT. If I was there, I would have done triplets. So why did that guy die, that version of John Travolta die in that cellar?

I think Travolta killed him so that he would have a corpse. And don't say that version of John Travolta. He is another man. He is a villain he is a villain and John Travolta has just assumed his identity for this mission what it says at one point you know how many times I've changed my identity which made me go are you getting plastic surgery that many times I wondered that as well I kind of was like in that scene where he shows up in a beret. Oh I wrote down beret. I was like I guarantee this is his personal beret. 100 million. And he showed up on set wearing it and they're

like oh maybe and he's like no I'm wearing this in this scene. I wear the beret when I fly my helicopter. When he shows up and has that conversation with Sam Shepard, who's fly-fishing, I was like, what is this history that they share? I kind of am more interested in that movie. But also... Go ahead. So now I'm trying to figure out, why was Halle Berry miked?

Why was Ginge... That was a misdirect. Yes, that was... She is really working with John Travolta she only was trying to seduce Hugh Jackman or let him believe that she was in danger so he would do the work yeah oh just like Houdini just like Houdini yeah I loved the Houdini line. I was like, oh no By the way, there's another thing in here, too There's another story that he says in this movie

Where he goes I guess he says Thomas Jefferson shot a man on the White House lawn for treason. That is not true and This movie is the main source of that rumor. Again, you can find real things. The scene where Hugh Jackman has one minute to hack the DOD while getting a blowjob while a gun is at his head is all right kind of a wild ride. I want to I want to talk about the scene I want to break it down bit by bit. First of all if you're having a movie like this, every movie that we kind of see the bad guys hang out in some sort of industrial complex, ravy slash nobu, like high-end Japanese restaurant, they all are there and this place is like rave, rave, rave, then long table. Okay, and there's a moment in there where one of the bad guys, when Hugh Jackman comes in, closes the curtain, but the curtain is clear.

So you can fully see through the curtain, and they seem to be closing the curtain so that they can have him be blown. Okay. No, wait a second. Was that blowjob supposed to help him or hinder him in this process? Great question. Great question. I couldn't quite tell if they were like, we're gonna throw this at you and you have to do it despite this or we're gonna sort of help you get to a creative, like, orgasmic frenzy. This'll get you in the zone?

Yes! Because... Like you'll become like stated and figure out... I feel like this is the kind of movie that this script went around town and this scene everybody was like Dude, you gotta rape this scene. It's fucking awesome. But the dude has to hack while Vinnie Jones is pointing a gun at him and this chick is giving him a blowjob And it's fucking nuts but the crazy thing about it and when you think about it it makes no sense because

It's like they were like oh How about we just put a gun to his head and make him hack that would there's there is something there They don't ever set the stakes of the situation they She starts blowing him. He puts the gun to his head and he's like, you got 60 seconds. To what end? Why, why, like, why? Like, give me the scenario of what's happening. I'm gonna get killed? Why? You just brought me here for a meeting. I'm getting a blowjob. Is it to distract me? Is it to help me? We don't know. We don't know what is happening at all. And at first, the guy behind him there holds his arms back.

And I was like, oh, they're going to beat him up or something. They're going to like... And it was simply so that he wouldn't try and resist the blowjob. And before the blowjob, before the blowjob, the woman who performs the action does a shot of tequila and then kisses him and shoots him in his mouth. I didn't like that. I didn't like that at all. It was just disappointing because by the way like there Halle Berry is amazing and I love her there's not another woman to be found in this movie. No. There's just there's not like a bank teller or just like another bad person

who's related somehow to this. There's just no women in the movie except for- The porn mom. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry, and the porn mom and the woman who gives the blow job in the beginning. And the, yeah. And Kaboom.

This woman doesn't have a line. It's like, do your thing. And then at one point she's like, you want to get wet? Like that's her other line when they're at the party. By the way, no. The answer is always and forever going to be no. I don't want to get, quote, wet, stranger. Listen, I do think that from what I watched, in the end,

it did help him. Sorry, will you back? Why is he holding the cigarette like that? Look at how he's holding the cigarette. John Travolta. Who holds a cigarette like it's a pencil? I'm gonna write with this and smoke it. What?

He's holding it like a wand. Now. Like he's gonna be, like it's a magic wand. Yeah. Expecto Patronus. And then all of a sudden, like, an antelope comes out. Here's what I'll say, and I know it's easy, and it's... We've done a diva on here on this show to make fun of hacking in movies.

But let's talk about Hugh Jackman's sloppy ass hand. He's like hitting it like a horse touching a computer. He's like, Ba-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum- Just listen, if you're at home, to his hands and watch them. This is not how human people do it. Here we go. Oh, she's good, isn't she? Here he goes. More time, more time. Come on, Stan.

He's like a blind piano player. Halle Berry's top matches the walls. Oh. Oh, you're right, June. He does clap in here, too. He really claps himself up. He's like... He's basically hitting the home keys over and over again. He's typing so... It's not even typing is like

I don't get it and at one point they he goes it's weird. I just see the code No, you don't that's not a thing. You don't you don't have like a psychic bond with code all of the The best though is the hacking scene when they introduce him to the hacking computer and he basically is like, oh fuck! And you're like, dude

it's a computer. It's a computer. She's like, this isn't just a computer with multiple screens, it's on seven different networks. Okay, cool! I'm sure for the time, very powerful computer, but then all he does is go clickety-clackety, clickety-clackety, and the representation of the internet once again is pathologically insane. I mean, they cut to images on the screen that are not the internet, then fiber optic cables, cables, cables, cables,

as if you're watching what he's typing move. And he's basically putting together a giant Rubik's Cube that's locking in a weird pyramid. And it's like nailed it, got it, got all nine pieces. I loved one time he's going, he's like, clackity clackity goes, oh yeah, three, two, oh. Clacking, clacking, clacking. Here, I got it.

He doesn't get it. I'm going to play the scene. It may be too visual, but fuck it, here, wait. Oh, don't, no. No, no, no, no, yes. Wait, wait. Please. Fuck, fuck. No, no, no. Fuck me. Shit, I was gonna fuck your head.

He had me. Quick, quick, quick. Thank you. Return. Hugh Jackman interacts with a computer as if he's never seen a computer and someone just told them what it could do He's like, oh cool. Cool

Problem is is like it's Hugh Jackman like he's he's he doesn't belong in front of these computers like he's a He just doesn't and and that's that's no disrespect to professional hackers or people who like to spend a lot of time in front Of computers. It's just he's got the an insane body and he's Hugh Jackman like he's not doing that in any way. You mean he's not doing more of this? He's playing it like Jerry Lee Lewis plays the piano. I feel like that was the direction. You know like it's like a piano and you're you're giving a concert you know and you're loving it. I felt like the

director was in the background being, you're loving it, you're loving it, it's so good, it's so good. And he's like ha ha ha ha, ha ha. It's so. ["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"] ["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"] Oh baby. Dancing. Dancing. Now that's the Hugh Jackman we know. That's the greatest showman and hacker.

The saddest thing is they put that little earring on him. A tiny little hoop. He's a hacker now. And they like to do a lot of extreme hacking in this movie. It's like, hack while we hang Halle Berry. He's like, oh, he can do it. Why do we need to always put him in an extreme circumstance? Okay, when Halle Berry and him are in the Nobu restaurant, that's not Nobu, the gangster's hideaway, they both go into the bathroom because he's like, just got his dick blown, he got almost killed, and they go he goes successfully did the hack he's and he needs to put water on his face

because that's what we all do and and I know that people have written me that yes there's some scientific guy blah blah blah so they have yes people have written you to tell you that yes I'm don't write us to tell us anything. So when they're in the bathroom talking, two dudes enter because they're part of the club, not the Nobu restaurant, and Hugh Jackman grabs Halle Berry and they start making out and I'm like, to what end are you doing that because... Why can't they just see two people talking? Yeah, like that's the thing that you do in movies where it's like,

oh quick, we gotta hide. And they start, you know, like... And it's like, but they kiss... No one would be like, why is she in here? Like, it wouldn't be... You would just, it would appear as though you had come into two people having a conversation. They could have just been like, oh! Yeah.

They're like, the idea that they would be there is itself not insane. No, not at all. And then the guys were like, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, and then they're like, we gotta get out of here, because we can't see people kissing. Now listen, I was very into the chemistry between Hugh Jackman and Halle Berry. Agreed. Yes. I mean, I feel like they, what? I was very into the chemistry between Hugh Jackman and Halle Berry. Agree. Yes. I mean, I feel like they... What?

I was very into it. Yeah. I feel like she... I mean, this is Halle Berry right after the Academy Award. Am I right on that? It's like... Is it after or... Before?

Before. Yeah, sorry. Front row says before. Oh, right. catwoman is right after sorry I knew there was one real step in the mud right after it was catwoman she does I noticed early on in the movie she calls him his name Stan every sentence yeah like there's not an exchange they have where she doesn't say Stan she does say Stan doesn't it seem doesn't it seem as though they know each other?

Like, if this person, A, entered my property, came up to me while I was wearing a loincloth, and I acted as unfazed as him, I would be like, that's irresponsible. Even if Halle Berry was in my kitchen wearing this outfit. I'd be like Hello police Someone I don't know is in my kitchen. She's yes. She is beautiful, but like I'm also And I don't feel safe

Once you commit a crime the police don't answer your calls anymore. You are persona non grata. Are we going to discuss the three men rolling down a hill for 15 minutes? Okay. This sequence. You mean the scene in which we should have watched three people die? But instead watch three people fall down a cliff and then... No, no, they don't dust themselves off. They get up and they are clean.

They go down a fucking, like a dirt-dusty hill. They have no... By the way, to call it a hill, it's not a hill. It's a cliff. It's a cliff. It's like a Malibu cliff yes into the Pacific Coast Highway yes he looks down the cliff like straight down to the beach and jumps and I'm like oh shit this guy's gonna die and then then the

the FBI agent goes yep me too and then the third one's like, all right. They all jump straight down a cliff. Meanwhile, the third FBI guy just drives around and meets them at the bottom. Hey, guess what, everybody? Get in the car and drive down. You don't have to commit suicide. They roughly got there at the exact same time. Take a look. This is again maybe more visual, but it's so great because this is hilarious. The craziest thing is that they don't ever come up for air. You never see their faces during this ride down the cliff because that's how fast they're going. Yeah. It's a minute of falling. Yes, I remember. That is straight down.

And when the third guy jumps, he's like, shit. And he goes. Still falling. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo and busted by the car. I, like the rest of America, fell in love with Mission Impossible Fallout. Chris McQuarrie coming up with all these amazing stunts. Whoever thought like, well then we'll have this sequence where they just roll down a hill. There is nothing, that is a, like like that is a legit comical thing like grab on to anything There's no fighting as they're falling. It's just three grown men and Very falling down a steep cliff very steep cliff and not one of them are hurt at all No, we're not not one of them are even honestly scuffed up at all not one of them are even honestly scuffed up at all like the only Jackman's jacket rips in the shoulder a little get how clean he is already the

only person who's bleeding in this scene is the guy who got elbowed in the nose earlier that's it and just to reiterate it is a mountain of dust and dirt it is and rocks and rocks But it's like I just want to go back and just go When you're coming up, we'll do this amazing explosion. We'll spend $90,000 on it. All right, what else can we do nothing? Okay, huh? You know they fall from a minute sure we could do that I mean, it's technically cheap to do I know a couple of stunt guys that would love to give it a try to just like fall straight for a minute but it's like there's nothing like you don't go out of there like that movie

was fucking great when those guys fell down the hill for a minute like like I here's how I even say that this is like if it was Tom Cruise doing his own stunt I would be like okay sure I mean seems like he got a little lazy. The fact that they are all able to fall for a continuous minute, but then land on their feet and continue running, is that they need no recovery time from a full minute of catastrophic tumbling. There's no way.

There's so many ways they could have been killed on that cliff. They must have hit a thousand rocks. A thousand rocks and rocks that are like, not pebbles, but just like jagged terrain. Guys. Like jagged dry terrain. Their heads would have been split open, shoulders broken. Oh yeah. Necks broken. Guys, legs and arms, all of their extremities

would be broken. Okay, and I'll go, and I'll say one step further. Sure, that's the reality of it. But, how about even a sprained ankle? Give me something. You're gonna tell me you don't even get a sprained ankle there? You don't hurt your hand?

You don't hurt, and like, I don't hurt and none of them do none of them are hurt They and like if you continue here in the like if you go, can you go forward right now? No, okay They are all so clean. They are all the guys the scene continues They are all fully as if they got new wardrobe new makeup done. They're not there's no dust in their hair They're literally not like they're they're at certain points obscured by dust. And yet they are, how is this guy clean? And nobody even needs to take a mental break for a second to just process like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys.

All three of us just fell down a hill for a sustained period of time. And the payoff is so good too, because Don Cheadle's like, why did you do that? And he's like, aren't you gonna arrest me? And he's like, no. So then you have to ask Don Cheadle, why did you do that? Why would you have gone?

If you're not gonna arrest him, let him die. Let him fall to his death. Don Cheadle's character is playing three-dimensional chess here because when he goes to talk to the guy who's only speaking in like Dutch finish finish he like there you can't break them Don Cheadle comes in he's like tell me about him because like okay so he's kind of a crazy guy like I was I was like, that's it? Like, they didn't do anything? Like, he just tosses his lawyer out of the door.

He ruffs up the lawyer, and the guy's like, okay, I'll tell you. And when he does talk about that guy, you know, I kind of felt like Travolta is a very interesting guy, and Averyl Halley, our person who pulls all of our clips, thought that maybe it would be funny to combine John Travolta and the most interesting man in the world in this new clip. Here we go. His charm is so contagious, vaccines have been created for it.

Years ago, he built a city out of blocks. Today, over 600,000 people live and work there. He is the only man to ever ace a Rorschach test. Look at him wipe the tide! Every time he goes for a swim, dolphins appear. Alien abductors have asked him to probe them. If he were to give you directions you'd never get lost and you'd arrive at least five minutes early. His legend precedes him. His blood smells like cologne. He is the most interesting man in the world.

I don't always drink beer but when I do I prefer Dos Equis. And then he literally has a Dos Equis in front of him. But when I do I prefer to a second And then he literally has a two seconds in front of him I am really taking in that table Jason that long conference table really and it's like he's walking through I love the double spin out of a car in Los Angeles. That is a left side driver Why don't know I have a lot of thoughts about the car chase and how that is a left side driver. Why? Don't know. I have a lot of thoughts about the car chase and how that is even happening. Because the car, he's standing, shooting a gun, the car continues to go forward, nobody's feet are on the pedals, it doesn't matter. In this, he gets out, he walks through the bar and he's like, whispers to one of the women, one of the other

women whispers to one of the other women, and can only imagine they're like come on we gotta go back and do that blowjob gun thing. Oh, oh, come to the back table. Gabriel wants us to go to the back table. I have to blow this guy for a hacking test. But there's gonna be sushi and tequila. Okay. But I gotta fit some of my shot into somebody else's mouth. But there's a pool party later. And by the way, this whole movie takes place in four days. That's the only thing that we... And there's so many things...

Within that four days, he goes to Oregon to kill Sam Shepard. And he doesn't do it, like, neatly. Because, like, you think, like, the idea is, like, he's, like, killing all these people. He kills Sam Shepard with a bullet. So someone's going to find Sam Shepard in waiters and dead, shot. Why didn't they just drown him? And then the other guy from the OC, why don't they blow his car up in such an aggressive manner?

It's like, guys, you could just do this way more simply. Nah, they go big. These guys go big. I also love the teacher when the little girl's at school. She's like, hey, little girl, is your mom late again? She's like, yeah. And then she goes, OK, and then leaves. No further questions. Peace, I'm out.

I teach till 2.30, and then suck it. Peace, I'm out. I teach till 2.30 and then suck it. You can suck my teach. No, I don't know why. I don't even know what I said there. Is that a thing? Suck my teach? No, it isn't. I wanted to go to... I wanted to do something and it all came out different. It's the altitude. Can we make it a thing? Suck my teach? I would like to suck my teach.

Is that... I mean it might be a t-shirt. I'm just not sure what the image is. Can we make it a thing? Suck my teeth? I would like to suck my teeth! Is that, that's, I mean it might be a t-shirt, I'm just not sure what the image is. Um, yeah, that scene where she's listening, everybody's got a Walkman, everybody's got music where she's listening to, on the, what's it called, Caris, not Caris, whatever that spinner thing is. She's listening to her thing, she's got a cell phone, she calls her mom, her mom is straight up passed out in the porn palace and you're like oh no her dad is like hey you need a ride and she knows immediately it's him. She hasn't seen him in years and she's young. And she loves him and yet they've not talked in two years. In at least two years. Yeah they have a very strong connection. It's a very much an ant-man relationship in this years. In at least two years. Yeah, they have a very strong connection. It's a very much an Ant-Man

relationship in this movie. That's the hacker and his daughter and they have a special connection. Except no miniaturization. Yeah, I wish. I think it's more vis-a-vis Travolta maximalization. Wait, so I just realized something. Halle Berry in on it the entire time. Does that mean that she was just hanging out in his bedroom or her bedroom, unclear, waiting for him to walk in and creep on him? Like, so she's just-

That's what I was saying. Why was she standing there with a wire on? Yeah, that was the plan. And that is a roundabout way. And you know, and I read an article where she was interviewed about it, and she said she made up her mind that she'd been waiting for 10 hours for him.

No, I'm kidding. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I'm so sorry for you because that was phenomenal. My character's secret is I was waiting for 10 hours just waiting for him to have some reason to barge into her room,

which he simply wouldn't do. I was fascinated by Don Cheadle's character because he plays like this tough cop who, you know, doesn't abide by the rules and hates lawyers. But he's dealing in the world of cybercrime, which seems to be a specific type of... You're not out there busting heads. Well, his story is that he shot a guy in the hand.

Why? Because he was a hacker. Oh, so you're saying he shot his instrument. He shot his hacking hand. I think right He's like and you know what I just lost my mind and I shot a guy in the hand what Who cares? I thought he said head and I was like, okay cool I like that they let you continue at your job, that you killed someone. No, he shot a hacker in the hand.

This movie posits a world in which hackers are the most dangerous terrorists in the world. Drop the computer. Drop the computer or I'll shoot you in the hands. As if that was the only way to stop the hacking. we saved it we saved the nuclear weapons let's go out into the crowd see what you guys have to say all right the password is swordfish all right we have a we have a gentleman over here Paul I'm nervous about that guy. The double hand wave was very concerning.

All right, don't approach me too fast. I have to work up to it. Okay, yeah. All right, here we go. Paul, before you go, I just want to say there seems to be an instance where people are leaping to their feet and going at Paul. You don't have to do that. Yeah. You can just raise- Let Paul find you. I trust my sense of who feels safe. And then- Just keep in mind, Paul, it's the Late Show. So these are stone cold monsters. All right.

Paul, be careful. Paul, do we need a safe word? Swordfish. Swordfish? Got it. Sir, your name and your question. My name is Dylan. I'm confused that we made it this far without talking about Halle Berry's boobs at 38 minutes into this movie. The only reason I watch it at 11 years old. The only reason I think maybe half the people watch Swordfish on VHS. Well yeah, wasn't that a big thing that this was like, she was paid a lot of money to show

her boobs in this movie, right? She said that she did this part to get over the fear of doing nudity in movies, and then she also got like $50,000 extra to do it. $50,000 is not enough. A lot of people are like $50,000 extra to do it. Oh, $500,000. Yeah, $50,000 is not enough. A lot of people are saying $500,000. $500,000. $500,000.

Sorry. Okay, everybody, we get it. $500,000. And that $500,000 should have gone to a stunt, but then they did rolling down the side of the hill. By the way, we talked about the other hacker. I guess John Gervonta's plan was to bring two hackers and maybe have a blowjob off between them.

I assumed they only went to Hugh Jackman because they had to kill the first guy. No, because they have the airport security footage. They were there the same day. Same day. That's why the timeline's a little fucked. Was there gonna be a hack-off? Yes.

And I think one was gonna get a blowjob and one was gonna get the gun to the head, and they're like, but I wanted to do both. They're like, well, we'll combine them. Like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Yeah. You got your blowjob in my gun play. Yep. You got my gun play into your blowjob.

Two great things that go great together. All right, hi. Your name and your question. Hi, you got my gun play into your blowjob. Two great things that go great together. Alright, hi. Your name and your question. Hi, Katie. So earlier in the movie and the scene where Don Cheadle and his FBI crew are talking about Hugh Jackman's character, on the screen it says social security numbers none and then later the bank calls lists his social security number back to him and he says yeah I did not get that I didn't even watching it Katie you need to watch these movies less closely like focus on other things in life. You're paying actually too much attention, and I'm concerned.

All right, your name, your question. Okay, my name is Carla, and I don't know, the whole John Travolta, back to that thing, I don't know what it was. It made me angry, but it kept moving the whole time. So, like, part of it was like there's a scene where it's, like, offset, and it's, like, right to the left or to the right of it. And the whole movie, it just kept moving.

His soul flash? The colors, yes, it kept changing colors. Oh. And then... You were also on mushrooms when you watched the movie, right? I was gonna say, I was gonna ask if you were on Acid when you watched it. It didn't start speaking to you, did it?

And it was a caterpillar man! And it smiled at me and it said, hey, dude, Carla, get ready, this movie's getting wild. Aw. All right, I'm up here in the balcony now. Catch your breath, Paul. Catch your breath.

All right, here we go. Sir, your name, your question, what do you got? My name is Vince. It's a two-part question. My first part of it. A two-part question from the balcony? Yeah. This is...

We're in dangerous territory. I know. Terrible money for these seats. It seems that nobody in the balcony. Terrible money for these. Nobody in the balcony is standing up for their questions. By the way, I'm gonna allow a two-part question because I still haven't caught my breath. So here we go. How would you catch a real hacker and how would you catch a hacker from the movie? What do you mean, man? Hey, Vince? Just ask your question. What are you walking us into?

Just ask your question. It's a two-part question. That was it? How would you catch a hacker? And how would you catch a hacker in this movie? Those are the two parts? Alright, alright. I have to get out of this section. Paul, what are we doing? Vince, we are the two parts. All right. All right. I have to get out of this. Oh, oh, what are we doing Vince? We wouldn't catch hackers. We wouldn't catch hackers in this movie. We're we're we're comedians. We're podcasting This is a podcast Vince. I know you're in the balcony, baby, but we're not part of the movie We're not trying to catch hackers. Oh, I have a hug. I have a hug. That is right there classic balcony.

Vince Vince meanwhile sat down what you guys can't see. Meanwhile sat down and picked up a can of beer the size of his head and was like. I see you Vince. By the way, can we talk about the end in the sense that? it works like like Like he is a good guy who does bad things he gets away with it and Guess what it works. He was able to kill that guy on the yacht He killed a terrorist guys That right that was the big switch was that he's working he's part of the government or working with the government

yeah and wants to steal the money to finance killing terrorists because the government can't themselves do it so he has to do it on his own. So is he ultimately doing a good thing? I think we're meant to believe yes. believe yes even though the answer is unequivocally no he no he is doing you basically the government goes like this we can't do this right so we will give you autonomy to do this and through the cube project. What was it called? Black cube? Sure. And and like swordfish. Wait, do you not feel safe right now? That was the safe word. That was.

But it was it is also this. But so that's the whole plan is that he is a good guy being that does bad things. And but I wanted to bring up when we were talking about the plan and I'll go back to the audience for a second but really oh I want one more go back to the audience they are this this is a late show audience I'm gonna say this like I'm gonna tell you what's up Denver this is some wild shit for the late show the balcony Vince. I'm concerned, bro But there was a point in the movie and we rewatched it twice where Travolta explains why they need to break into that bank and it makes no sense

It's like Star Trek level gobbledygook He's like we need to be somewhere where you can piggyback on the branch of a bank that is connected to the mainframe Like where the money is so the because they're transferring but isn't hacking the whole idea that you don't need to be anywhere near Anything. I agree. That's hacking. It's a mobile Right, it wouldn't be like dude. Yeah, we have to play if you want to hack the NSA, you don't have to be inside the NSA. Or do you? And also, this is a bank where their computer wires are out

right in the main lobby. It's like, flunk, flunk, flunk. They just pull out the computer wires, one, two, three. Also, when he's testing Hugh Jackman, he's like, this hack should take an hour hour I need you to do it in a minute right which to me means later in the movie when they get to the most important hack Hugh Jackman has to make it must be done in under a minute right nope got all the time in the world all the time we're just we'll be back here loading up these people with dog collars and C4 and ball bearings.

Don't you worry, you just hack away, bro. Why did it need to be timed? I also love that he was Wired Magazine's, what was it? Most Dangerous Man? 1999 Most Dangerous Man. the guys who were very obviously the lone gunman from the X-Files well I know I know that I'm relax I know that I know that one of them's a nerd because he wears a fishing hat yeah he's and he's repeatedly wearing a fishing hat and a sweater vest like that's no offense a hacker he looked like a hacker to me Who do you think would have been better?

Because I know who they went to first before Hugh Jackman. Nick Cage. Done. June? Gosh. I don't know. I mean, I picture like a Christian Slater-esque. Yeah, because he sounds like him.

I don't mind that. John Cusack and Val Kilmer. Yeah, John Cusack. I'm into it. I'm into it. John Cusack and Val Kilmer. I'm into it. John Cusack would be great. Wait, wait, in which roles? Oh, oh, they were both offered Hugh Jackman. I'm sorry, I get it now.

The person who turned down the part of John Travolta's character was John Travolta. John Travolta turned down the part of Gabriel six times and he changed his mind after hearing the director's take on it. So I don't know what the take was. I feel like the director's take was, you get to wear all your own clothes. He was like, I'm feeling this character,

but can I wear the beret? And everybody else said no. Also one of the fun side notes I found was that Travolta and Jackman both would sing show tunes in between scenes and Oklahoma was their favorite go-to. So you're directing this very like, you know, Joel Silver 90s like action movie and it's like Oklahoma where the rain's go washing on the plane I'd love to see the blooper reel of this movie or that the the gag reel I guess where they just are always breaking into song. That would be very fun. I am I

In this I left one guy out there. I picked him and I left him out All right. I'm gonna go one more time to this guy cuz I felt like I really teased him. I'm gonna get him. I told him I'd come back. Sir, I hope it's worth it. I hope it's not balcony material. Alright? Alright, here we go. Alright, you got this. Your name and your question. Alright, my name is Blake. I don't know if this is why Travolta took the role or how they based his character, but I read the entire screenplay. Oh wow. Paul, I'm gonna tell you you should get away. It's time to go. Well research. Paul, swordfish. So Paul, swordfish. Swordfish. Swordfish. Opening scene in the Starbucks coffee house.

Three men sit and drink coffee. Stanley Hugh Jackman is in his early 30s. Roberts Cheadle, 40s, both wear suits. The younger is fairly expensive. The others is polyester, enough said. The man across, Travolta, however, is quite different. He is what they used to call a cool cat Fuck yeah

You did it. I didn't believe you could do it and you did it well done All right Well, let's let's see here obviously we have opinions about movie, right? But there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinion! Five stars! That's my film review I give. Five stars! You's my second opinion On Amazon Dennis, Colin and Craig! Well done! Well done! Well done! Let's get into it. Five-star reviews on Amazon. Not many.

This one is written by Carol, and it was written in 2014, so recently, in the grand scheme of Swordfish being released to reviews. What year did Swordfish come out? Swordfish came out in the year of our lord... Let's see. 2001? 2001. Oh, where am I? 11? No, it came out on 9-11. It did.

Guys, I'm going to ask you to stop shouting 9-11 at us. shouting 9-11 at us? Like I'm actually gonna beg you to stop shouting 9-11 at us All right, so here this is from Carol from 2014 and it goes like this I chose this rating because from the beginning of the movie it has twists and turns that you'll never expect. It also gives you something to think about regarding the freedoms that we enjoy in our daily lives. Makes you wonder if something like this could possibly be true. And happening right now.

John Travolta is an amazing actor with many faces for us to enjoy. No matter the part he is playing, he always plays the part like it's live and happening right now. Halle Berry is also excellent in this movie. She's a bit of herself on film, but also like John Travolta, plays the part she was given as if it was her life and is truly happening. Grab some popcorn ahead of time because you won't want to stop watching till it's over. Five stars. I like that it's happening right now.

Well and and that she suggests earlier that could this be happening, this type of thing be happening right now? Yeah. And that all the performances seem as though they are happening right now. I believe Carol thinks she watched a documentary. Well, it also seems like when she watches TV, she thinks like, oh, these events are unfolding in real time. Yes. Like, even if she's seen the movie before, when she puts it on, it's happening right now.

It's like a live event. It's like those musicals like Jesus Christ Superstar or the Son of Music. All right, this one is an odd one from Hactic Birdston. And this is written on 2015. Twister, suspenseful. Travolta style, password fish. Ginger, spices, five stars.

Laughter. Applause. And it was written like poetry. Stephen Taylor in 2017 wrote, Love this moving. I guess it was movie love this movie but he wrote moving different twist for the ending was refreshing and Mrs. Berry is sin sational and finally JK page this movie is so good and it is so cool. In fact, it is the epitome of cool.

It is great right from the beginning. Travolta's monologue is great. It is said at the beginning of the movies that they're all in a moral dilemma. A bad guy can't win. But then Travolta gets away with everything, but that gets you thinking. Then if the bad guy can't win, is he really the bad guy? I don't think he is. He's protecting the U.S. this movie also has great special effects the 360 pan around explosion is the best explosion ever in a movie the plot is good and the finale is just so cool it's unbelievable the music is good too I've pre-ordered by copy already anyone who does not like this movie obviously can't understand great cinema even when it hits them in the face. Questions? Send them to me at

SolidSnake552 at AOL.com. I love the idea that this guy's just answering questions about swordfish. Well, Jason, June. No. We know, Jason, where you stand. June, would you recommend this movie? No. Okay.

I would recommend this movie for pieces, The rolling down the hill is pretty great. I would, yes. If you wanna, if you're listening to this episode and you haven't watched it, I would maybe watch, it's on Netflix, I think. Yes. So if you are a Netflix subscriber, watch it for the scenes that sounded like fun. Yeah, the flying bus, the blowfish, the uh, the blowfish, sorry. The blowjob scene, the scene, the car chase. There's a hand and they're rolling down the hill.

We didn't even talk about the car chase. Oh, yeah. It doesn't matter though, who cares? Anything you guys want to plug? I guess just vote in the midterms for everyone listening who's out there. Yeah, I'll second that. Get out there. Get voting everybody, come on. You know, and I'm a little bit more youthful than these two, so I'll just say rock the vote. You know, like we like rock and roll music.

You're still an MTV VJ, right? I mean we got some great stuff coming up. The kids, the new kids are going to be in here in a little bit. The new kids? Yeah. New kids on the block? No, no, these are just the new kids. I don't even know what they're making, but you know we got that guy, was it Travis Bird?

He'll be here, right? Travis Scott? Yeah, he'll be here. Did you just call Travis Scott Travis Bird? Travis Birdman. Like he's a bird scooter? He's a, you know, like a, yeah, you know. So anyway, we're loving lifts, we're loving Ubers, we're rocking the boat, and we're drinking our craft beer and having a lot of fun, you know?

It's like, hey, you know, it's, you know, look. Are you okay? College is rough, you know, it's cool to live with you folks. Anyway, people, check it out. Let's have fun, enjoy it. You know, the revolution is now. Wonder Woman 84 coming up. A big thank you to the Paramount Theater in Denver, Colorado.

The reason why you're hearing this right now is for our friend Mike Henderson in the Tech booth who came out here tonight to record the show. And thank you for everyone who came from far away or from close by to come here tonight. We felt so loved and the fact to do two shows in this tremendous theater, it just blows us away. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We will be back again. Thanks everybody for listening to the long awaited Swordfish episode. I hope it was everything that you wanted it to be. A big thank you to Avril Halle for finding our movies. She is an amazing producer.

Our producer Cody for putting this whole thing together. She is the mastermind. We bow down to Cody, our amazing audio engineer Devin, who to be fair was not responsible for this recording. He's responsible for this right now. So don't blame him for any issues with the live Denver show. We've now brought him on the road. Everything sounds crystal clear.

Nate Kiley for doing all of our research. He is absolutely amazing. All of our artwork from the ghost of Craig T. Nelson to also Kyle Waldron. So many people make this show all come together and I couldn't do it without Molly. Molly is my assistant, but also just keeps everything on track.

So thank you, Molly Reynolds. Thank you everybody for listening. Make sure you head on over to teepublic.com to get the latest in how to just get made, Schwag. We have an amazing Clarissa shirt that can be made into a mug. It's awesome. And we will see you next week for a mini episode. We can call in and ask me questions about your life, your love, your job, whatever it is.

And we can still talk about this movie Swordfish. Normally Jason and I get on there and we talk about what we're watching too. So the mini episode, don't miss it. You can call me at 619-P-A-U-L-A-S-K. That's 619-Paul-Ask. We'll see you next week for a mini episode where you can tell us all the things that we got wrong in today's episode. Bye for now. I didn't just get me.

I didn't just get me. I didn't just get me. I didn't just get me. Here I am.