How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: The Hurricane Heist LIVE!

Episode Date: May 22, 2023

Live from Onion Fest in Chicago, Paul, June, and Jason wrap their heads around the 2018 heist action film The Hurricane Heist. They cover everything including the skeleton face in the clouds, hurricane football plans, and crazy bagels. Plus, we get some math nerds in the audience to break down some numbers. (Originally released 06/07/2018) For more Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/c/PaulScheerGo to www.hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, and more.Follow Paul on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/paulscheer/HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: https://discord.gg/paulscheerCheck out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (https://www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: listen.earwolf.com/deepdiveSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter

The National Weather Service is issued a hurricane warning for all listeners. Beware of full-blown sibling ravelries, intermittent deluges of exposition, and constant logic issues. We saw Hurricane Heist, and you know what that means. Free men! Hello people of Chicago! We are live in Chicago to talk about one of the most important films ever. Al Gore had a film called An Inconvenient Truth, and this is exactly like that movie, but way fucking cooler. I appreciate everyone in the theater tonight because it means that you had to pay to buy this movie.

People who are listening to this, you could rent it. They had to buy it, and we applaud the Chicago people for doing that. I also think you probably really messed with the movie studio's head. They're like, wow, holy shit, we didn't realize this movie was so popular. Maybe we shouldn't have taken it out of theaters after the first weekend. Which is exactly what happened. We are so excited you're here, and we want to talk about this movie, but I can't do it alone. I need to be joined by Michael's Jason Manzukes!

What's up jerks? How we doing Chicago? That's what I'm talking about. I just got a tweet, this movie has been ordered to sequel because of our hard work. Excellent. I'm just kidding, I've never gotten a tweet in my life. You are hashtag not on Twitter. Correct.

We are not going to talk about this movie with just Jason and I. I know we will be joined by our third co-host. Please welcome June Diane Raphael! Here we go! Welcome June! Welcome June! How are you? How are you? I'm good, how are you Paul? Good. This movie is right up your alley, right June?

You like hurricanes, you like ice? Here's what I'll say. We've watched a lot of movies of late for these four shows in Chicago. A positive for me was I could recognize this as a movie. Solid. I feel like that's something, that's saying something. That's a high, high compliment. This movie had so much overlap with Geostorm.

I was like worried. I was like, wait a minute, a strange Geostorm, thank you. A strange... Geostorm! Guys, it's not out there enough. I don't understand why I haven't seen people doing it in the background of newscasts. I don't understand why people aren't Geostorming the world. We are a national weather emergency.

We need you to get on camera and point to the sky and yell, Geostorm! That's what we're doing, guys. That's what we're here on this earth to do. Ranged brothers, natural disaster, like this is Geostorm. 100%. Full disclosure, the podcast tapings that I'm not at, I don't watch those movies. How dare you? How dare you?

But, June, I would argue that even if you saw Geostorm, you wouldn't remember it. Honestly, that's a really good joke. I guarantee you would come in to talk about Hurricane Heist. I would say it's so much like Geostorm when you would be like, I didn't even notice because I don't even know what Geostorm is. You have a memento for these movies. I'm jealous of you. I actually think I may know more about Geostorm not having watched it.

I think it's pretty wonderful that you have a tabula rasa brain. I consider it more of a Darwinian brain, it's to survive. We cannot take on all the shitty movies we have watched. I am drowning. I am drowning in the memories of all of these movies. After these shows are done, when I tell you I forget the movies immediately, I mean immediately. Okay, I'm sorry.

Okay, I don't want to disagree with you, June, but the show has not even begun when we were right there and you said to me, I don't remember this movie at all. It's a movie you saw today. So it's happening quicker and quicker. I don't remember this. And then furiously looking at your notes. It is like solo transporting coaxium.

We got to get it there quick. We make her watch it. And even then it is barely worth it. And I'm just kidding. It's not worth it at all. The movie is terrible. And I'm talking about solo. I'm not talking about...

Oh, come at me, bro. L7 was in the Millennium Falcon the entire time. Okay, so what I'll say about this movie is... Not my Han Solo. What I'll say about this movie is it could have been a normal movie. What do you mean a normal movie? Define a normal movie. I guess what I was going to say was it could have just been a run-of-the-mill action movie.

But what makes this movie stand out more than anything in any movie they've ever seen in a movie of this caliber is in the opening sequence when the boys are running away from the hurricane. The house, the roof is ripped off. And what do we see? A fulking face of death skeleton in the clouds. The hurricane is personified as evil. Holy shit, more of that, please.

That was a promise that went undelivered, you know? I know, sadly. Although the face does reappear at the end of the movie, but I was like, ooh, sentient storm. Don't mind if I do. The face in the clouds had more acting range than the faces of some of the people in this movie who will remain unnamed because I don't remember their names.

What was really strange was that, so the face appears the first time over a terrible tragedy where these two boys watch their father... Get run over by a silo. The poor guy run over by a silo in the middle of a cat find... The poor guy can't even go out like a hero trying to fix his truck or whatever.

He has to get run over by a rolling silo. Like he's a ball of dough. And it's the rolling pin. It was horrible. He should have been trying to help the boys get sucked up into the hurricane. I love it. Face.

But what's so strange is that face appears when the dad gets run over. And then, but it appears again. Not when... I'm just pulling out the face. Don't worry about it. At the end, you mean? At the end, but not in really a critical moment. It appears after all is, I think, all is well and good.

And they're just sort of driving away. The face is like, you got me. Yeah! That was the energy of, like... First time I got you. This time you got me. You rascals. But I'm coming for you.

Is one of his names Breeze? So this is a movie about... This is a movie in which one of the characters is named Breeze in a movie that's about a hurricane. I don't think that's true. Yeah. It's very hard. They're setting up a premise here that's...

It's very hard to, like, hang everything on a personal connection with a weather event. Yeah. It's just... It's hard. So we're... I don't remember the main character's name. It's Will and Breeze. Will and Breeze. Those are her brothers.

Breeze is the mechanic and Will is the weatherman. Sorry, meteorologist. Jason, I'm gonna even correct you even more. It is a... Oh, fuck, I wish I was quicker on my notes. Synoptic meteorologist. Are you proud of yourself? Like, does that make you feel good? Oh, I guarantee it's shrouded in darkness.

The person next to you is like, oh, I cannot wait to break up with you. Here's what I would say, like, talking about the opening of this movie about these two brothers, the movie opens on this incredible and sane scene during Hurricane Andrew in 1992. Literally, the father is killed by a cell of the house,

is torn apart, ripped up from its roots. The boys are on the ground, cut. Are they dead? Like, I wrote down, are these boys dead? And there's not a clear, like, oh, and here they are. Like, there was no moment of, like, oh, but they got out. It's just like, ah, cut. I want to re-return just briefly,

because then you cut to them as an... you cut to Will, the meteorologist, as an adult, and they're asking him to launch his drones. The Weather Bureau is asking him to launch his drones. Oh, and he's driving the Batmobile. Yeah, he's driving the Batmobile. He's the tumbler or whatever. And then to June's point, he stands out on the...

he launches his drones, and he's looking out at the storm, and he goes, they're underestimating you, aren't they? And then it's on him, and he says that it reverses to look out at the sky. Nothing. He's talking just to the sky. At which point the face should have reappeared and said, you bet.

By the way, if that face had appeared, and he was like, get ready, dick. I would love it if Will was like, then great, let's do this, but he doesn't because the sky doesn't talk back to him because it's the sky. So does Will, has Will lived in the same place this entire time? I think he went away and has come back

because he hasn't been there in five... He's typically for this hurricane. He hasn't been there in five years, he says. But he hasn't lost that accent, that foghorn leghorn, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say, category five, category six, oh, my God. Like, I was like, whoa.

Everybody's accents are nuts. Also the movie... Did True Blood have the same accent in True Blood? Is that the same accent, right? That's True Blood, right? Yeah. Yeah, okay, good. I guess you're right, I guess, yeah.

I mean, I think this movie has a trouble differentiating also, like, Louisiana and then also, like, country because they talk a lot about Alabama. Wait, where's this movie set? Gulfport. Where? Louisiana.

It is Louisiana, okay, sorry. Go ahead, go ahead. Oh, Alabama. It is Alabama, oh. It's Alabama, yeah. Oh, oh, oh. Because when he reveals his... Sorry, sorry, whoa, whoa.

We got it from the first 25 people. Hey, Chicago! Calm down. All right, my mistake, I apologize. The accents... Alabama! Flawless, then. Now I take it all back, the accents work perfectly.

The movie suffers, in my opinion, from meeting way too many characters right at the top that we don't check in for long enough for. Like, I don't know what Maggie Grace and the guy is supposed to be Liam Neeson, what they're doing. Well, that says... They have a giant gun in their chest.

Yeah, it's a good point. Like, I felt, usually these movies are so slow that I'm looking for any turn of event that I can hang on to. So, in this movie, in the first half hour, characters were turning like the Irish guy before I even knew who he was. Townspeople who we spent a minute with were then evil.

Within the context of the same scene, they turned. It was just a very strange way to pace a movie. Well, usually in a heist movie, you are let into the plan, right? On some level. But, you know, I'm not gonna... I don't want to... Yes, I'm gonna plug it again.

Den of thieves, guys. Holy shit. This movie is terrific. It's like baby heat. By the way, heat is on Netflix now. Do yourselves a favor. Great movie. Also, by the way, did you see that Face Off

is back on Netflix? And they stole Face Waterfalls from us and put it on their promo. Check out Don't Miss Face Off and watch for the Face Waterfalls they have. It's in the ad that Netflix has released for Face Off. They reference Face Waterfalls. That's us, baby.

We're affecting the algorithm and the promotion. That's you guys. You guys are making this happen. We are too powerful now. We can do anything we want. Let's re-edit the movies. I'll be happy to know Den of Thieves 2 is Greenlit. Oh, I'm aware.

If you think I haven't made a call, I have. But Den of Thieves, you are... Even though there are turns and double crosses and all that, you are in on the plan. And this heist, you only find out what the plan was when it starts going wrong. You know? And so you're kind of playing catch-up.

Well, it's like you're... In this movie, you're the Andy Garcia to the Ocean's Eleven, which is the uninteresting part to be. It's like, no, I want to be on the heist side. I don't want to be on the people stopping the heist side. That's the least fun side. Well, to speak to the heist, though, this heist is dependent upon this hurricane hitting.

I think that was a happy accident. No. Because they said they'd been stalling. They broke the shredder so that six weeks ago, so that the money would stockpile so much that they could then hit it hard. I don't think they knew in six weeks there would be a hurricane. Doesn't he say at one point that was a happy accident?

Oh, I thought... I don't remember the phrase happy accident. I thought he said he'd been waiting... No, no, not that, but like something... No, maybe I'm wrong. Here it is. Let's hear where the sheriff... Okay, great. This is one of my favorite scenes in the movie,

where the sheriff explains the plan back to the main guy and the main guy goes, Why are you telling me this? I already know. Yeah, and he might as well look down the lens at some point and be like, No, I know, it's for them. Here is the plan, I believe. Boys. What the hell?

The sheriff had a plan within a plan all along. It was like I said, fight works in crazy ways. Like when I was sitting in the bar on my own, bitching about my lauding life. But right next to me was another man doing the same thing. What are you telling me this for? I was there, you idiot. We were not such an idiot.

Obviously. Everything was planned perfectly. Anyway, all we needed was one little hurricane. Think, you screwed it. Their plan revolved around hurricane. All we needed was one little hurricane. Oh, that's right, because he wants that. They need the hurricane to empty the town.

Yeah, it seems like a very delicate plan. I mean, that's crazy. That's crazy. That's the thing is, that's what I kept writing down, is both teams, the good guys and the bad guys, every time have terrible plans. Like the bad guys' entire plan is deeply flawed. Deeply flawed.

And then every plan that Maggie Grace and the other guy come up with is totally flawed. One of their plans is to blow up the skylight in a mall, causing the men to get sucked up into the sky and die. It's that. It's that. But his brother is just with those people. So wouldn't he also get sucked up into the sky and die?

What's the plan? They are, they are hanging 50 feet in the air, tethered by lines. They have safety harnesses. Breeze doesn't. That's the move. That's what it is. That's their plan.

This is their plan? Their plan is, and by the way, they come up with a lot of plans, and they come up with plans that like, should have been edited out of the movie. Like, let's make a car bomb. Cool. Ah, it didn't work out. No.

Didn't do it. And June, June, you mentioned it earlier when we see in the car, or one of you did, that they have big, giant guns in the back of those money trucks that they establish a number of times and never use those giant guns. They don't even use the shredder at one point. They're like, oh, shred you. And I'm like, uh-oh.

You introduced a shredder in the third act. You got to use it in the third act. Um, no. I was like, I hope shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shows up. I was loving it. They were like, the shredder's down and it was just shredder. The crazy thing about this mall plan is, it's a death wish for them.

I mean, it is miraculous that they don't die from flying debris. It's a miracle. Here's the thing. It's a miracle that don't get a scratch on them. Not a single scratch. When they land on the ground, Maggie Grace looks like she walked out of like a photo shoot. Like, she's like, like, there's a, oh, I guess there's a,

they are being tossed around like ragdolls. I mean, they should be bleeding. And by the way, when they're up there, when they're up there, there's also like full automobiles are flying by them. These are corpses. We're looking at corpses. Let's be honest.

They kind of land gracefully and like, okay, great. I look worse for where going down a children's park slide than these people did hanging from a bungee course. They have multiple experiences of them doing something in which they should not only have died, but died spectacularly. And then they come down, look at each other like, they share a chuckle as if to say, we're invulnerable. We're going to live forever.

Honestly, they should have died in ways that would have been so upsetting, like never been able to be identified, like ways that were so gruesome. And her story trajectory is like, her hair comes from a bun, like, and it's let down as the movie goes on. By the end of it, she looks better than she did at the beginning of the film.

Which, honestly, I didn't have a problem with, but this scene, when he's like, put this safety harness on, I would be like, why? What's going to happen here? Oh, we're going to use the hurricane as if it's like a giant Dyson vacuum cleaner in the sky. And don't worry, we will not hit any of the scaffolding from the roof that blew up.

How about this? How about this, right? The skylight's there, right? They step out of the mall-based second floor rope store. I'm sorry. I've never seen one. What? They go upstairs in the mall to the rope store.

Hey, they pull the barrier up, right? They just have access. This goes up and down, it's unlocked. They pull the barrier up, and they're like, okay, here we are. We're ready to deal. And he goes, now! She shoots the thing, right?

They get sucked up into the air. How about this? Now, boom. Go back under the cage. You won't get sucked out and flop around like a fucking doll. Also, you were like, bring my brother here so that I can kill him with my plan. What?

His brother's safe in a cage. Your plan is to suck every human in the mall into the sky like it's fucking dirt and a Roomba. What is this? Jason, they were never going to hurt the brother because, as you know, their football players communicate an entire language, an entire language that, like, first of all,

they don't go to that once. They don't go to that twice. They go to it like seven times. They have football plans for every situation, and I have no idea what the football plan that they said that had any correlation to that move was. What football plan is we'll shoot a bullet through the roof? We'll get sucked up.

You hang back. No, listen. Here's a genuine question. Okay, so football plans. Yeah. Isn't that just like, oh, I'm going to, again, I don't know football that well. I'm going to run like 10 yards and then go to the right and go to the left.

Like, that's a football plan. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Or we're saying a plan. It should be play. Play. Sorry. I started that.

Totally fine. Totally fine. So what they are facing with their football plans is a hurricane. How could they ever, how could a football play ever get them out of a hurricane? It can't. And I would argue the other bad part of the football plays

is it's the most aggressive bad passing of code. It's like, hey, brother, remember green 42? In this one, are you passing a secret play? It's a, there's nothing secret if you would never say in casual conversations like, remember what mom always said, go fishing after dark. Like that at least is not bad. In this one, the Molly says go long or something like that.

So stupid. But you have to remember, you have to remember what they're up against is a hurricane. And like one of the characters says in the movie, hurricanes give people bad ideas. No, they don't. Hurricanes don't give anybody bad ideas. Nobody is like, hurricane.

Ooh, I want to murder. Ooh. Finally, I'll break into the puppy factory and adopt a bunch of puppies. I was having a perfectly normal day that somebody said a hurricane was coming and now I have a thirst for blood. Hurricanes give people bad ideas.

Hurricanes are not a purge night. That's not what happens. It's funny in this movie because hurricane is just, just connotes a degree of force of wind. So it is, unlike a twister or a tornado, it is not physically represented by anything other than strong winds, right? Right.

Well, there are a couple of shots of just like in the distance, it almost looked like Gray Broccoli was coming. Just like, it did look like something. Oh my God. I would have been so much happier if it, as it was closing in, it was just Big Gray Broccoli. Sir, we have Gray Broccoli. We've upgraded to, we've upgraded from,

from series, what is it? What is it? Cat5. Cat5 to Gray Broccoli. Gray Broccoli? We got meatballs on the horizon. They also, this movie drops. No, it can't be Gray Broccoli.

This was supposed to be Broccolini. By the way, we should just talk about the Gray Broccoli in the sense that this movie looks like garbage because it's gray. The movie is primarily just gray on the bottom, gray on the top, we're in a sea of gray. I've never missed colors so much. But they drop so much exposition on you.

This is, this is just a little taste of, this is the beginning, this is how much they're giving you. Hurricane Force winds diameter is up to 500 miles. Looks like it's going to hit Alabama and Florida. Can't be the latest surface readings. They're warm. Wait a second. Coffee and donut.

Sorry, can you go back, just a couple, can you see if you can go back with the frames? By the way, that's John Travolta. An exaggerated thing. Okay. Look at the size of this guy's sandwich. If you're telling me that this is what the National Weather Bureau looks like, it does not.

You know what it looks like? That guy's sandwich. That's sandwiches. The props guy was like, here you go, man. And the guy, I'm sure the actor was like, oh, this seems too big. And they're like, no, no. They said you have to have this sandwich.

The props guy is like, I was so inspired. It's a category five. It's a big hurricane. Big hurricane, big sandwich. It's fun. It's thematic. I got you a thermal mug and a clock-sized sandwich. Can you at least take a couple of bites out of it?

It is set up. I mean, when we meet this character, we love so much who stops being in the movie after four minutes, that he is a snacker. The guy loves the snack. I know, but I love the snack too. But I don't think I've ever held, like, a giant mug of coffee and a meal at the same time.

Also, we'll just put one down. Also, I'll ask you a question. Have you ever had to preside over a category five store? No, I've never been under that amount of stress. In that situation, who knows? Oh, this guy just, his job is to what? Just parade around everybody who's seated, eating and drinking and like,

dropping cream cheese on their shoulders. By the way, what the fuck is in that sandwich? Yeah. Is it just like a bun, a giant bun with cream cheese? No, it's a bagel. No, it's not a bagel. It's an enormous, it's a bagel that's this big. It is like, look at the bagel compared to his hand.

Wait, go back. And meanwhile... The bagel, the bagel is as big as a manila pad. Honestly, the bagel is more compelling in this scene than everybody in the scene. Here, no more... These aren't... There is no way... I am so sorry.

There is no way that people at the National Weather Bureau exist in this world. This... In this shot, it looks like a donut. It does. It looks like a donut. Honestly, God, NASA is less complicated than this. This is crazy.

Crazy bagels. Oh, my God. The bagel budget on this movie was $4 million. By the way, though, I mean, again, just to talk about this movie and why it's so weird, it's like you set up this character, the relationship that he has with Will, the brother, and you think, oh, this guy's going to be, you know, outside of it, but connect with them.

No, he's gone almost instantly. And... Brother? No, this guy, the bagel-eating guy. Oh, yeah, this whole office is gonzo. I know, because they give this woman a real moment to land her competency and, like, really prove herself to bagel. And...

And I thought, oh, we're definitely going to come back to her, and, like... So she's going to get promoted? Never see her again. No. We never see bagel really again. Never. Oh, no, we do later.

We see bagel, but he becomes Snickers. What if... What if the bagel got sucked up in the storm and that was what killed Maggie Grace later on? She's like, uh, uh! So do we ever find out what happened with Maggie Grace in... In Utah? Yes.

We don't find out, but she feels as though she was responsible for someone's death, but I don't think we ever got an actual story, right? No, because... No, because why do we need to pay off something that we set up in this movie? A critical character point. Oh, you know who else we've been here from again?

What? Is the guy that went to bat for her. Anybody who's on a screen somewhere else has never heard from him again. Never. Do not get connected to them. You'll never see him again. Remember, he's like...

He's like, hey, remember, I got you out of that jam in Utah, so don't let me down. She loses all of the money, basically. I mean, by the way... And that guy's, like, nowhere to be found. And I liked him. I was like, oh, there's something here.

He seemed great. He seemed like a nice guy. He seemed like a good guy. I felt like they had the most chemistry, her and that man in the iPad. It's so... They're definitely, like, dirty FaceTiming on that iPad. They're like, we need your iPad to get in.

And she's like, I'll enter the code. And don't look at any of the open windows. I mean, like, where is he that he can Skype with her? Fallujah? I don't know. I know, because he looked like... I don't know. Is it Fallujah or is it still Utah?

What's going on in Utah? So, but from what I understand, though, that this job is a demotion for her. Like, she's paying pennants for what happened in Utah. Yeah, somebody got killed in Utah. I mean, this was some sort of, like... ATF, a Sicario-like situation. Okay.

Guys. Maggie Grace, Sicario 2, her and Benicio, killed in the wrong... Dave the South Dotto! Guys, Sicario 2 looks crap. Redknot, weight, favorite movie. And then this guy in the iPad. Who, Bagel?

Oh, the iPad guy. Not Bagel. And she's FaceTiming him, yeah. She's FaceTiming him. He's the one that says, like, you know... He's the one that sends her to this post in Alabama. The other problem, and I know she says later on that she was always protecting the hostages in this situation,

but it's really hard to care about this money being shredded. Knowing, like, what the stakes are, that they're just gonna take the money and that she wants it to be shredded. Right. Oh, oh, I see. Like, the stakes at the root of this movie are... It's not like saving people's lives.

Ultimately, yes, she is, because they have hostages. Which is a... Okay, I want to talk about this. Because they make a very big point of, I told ya, we didn't have to kill anyone. And then they just start killing people. And it seemed like, oh, that was the part of the plan the whole time. The minute they were trank gunning people,

I was like, we're in trouble. If the bad guys don't want to murder anybody, we're fucked. But it seems like the plan was, we'll trank them, we'll steal their money, and then we'll kill them. No, I think what they thought was, we'll trank them, we'll steal the money,

and we'll be gone before they even wake up. Because what happened was they kept getting delayed. Okay, but they put them in a jail cell. The reason why they end up not killing them is because they realize that Maggie Grace has the code. Yeah, got it. And because Maggie Grace changed the code with iPad, which they, their thing went from mere minutes

to the robbery to hours. And so as it degraded, they started having to kill people. Okay, so to get, now, I get all of that. It makes so much sense. And also, once Cyrus is dead, his brother's gonna freak out. Was that his name, Cyrus? The guy that gets killed by a hubcap? Should have been a bagel.

Should have been a bagel. The weatherman just, there is, as there is in all towns, somebody has a net of hubcaps tied up outside the garage like one does. It's Alabama. And he takes the hubcaps and is like, like as if his skill, as if his weapon

is based on years spent playing Ultimate Frisbee at Wesleyan. He's like, well, well, and people are killed by hubcaps. Well, but listen. Fuck you, movie. I had, that was the one part where I watched it and I was like, I could do that because...

Yeah, of course. Anybody could do that. Wait, wait, wait, I want to hear our junior. Because that had nothing to do with the skill of like launching a Frisbee. Yes, of course it didn't. Which means he shouldn't have worked. At best you're saying he got lucky that time.

Guys, it's the face in the clouds. He's great at Ultimate Frisbee. He controlled it. I think that if you took a hubcap and you sent it like in the direction of someone and there's giant like 80 mile an hour winds, you're probably going to hurt someone. You can't, you could.

But that, he's being shot at by machine guns. The likelihood that this would work, impossible. Statistically, now are you saying, the wind could propel a projectile fast enough to kill someone? Categorically yes. But to try and plan that, I think, is lunacy. That's what I mean.

If that's your plan, you're fucked. Happy accidents, of course. The guy is much more likely to be killed by falling debris from the hurricane. Not because he was like... What? This isn't Kroll. What are we talking about?

First of all, let's bring back Kroll. Second of all... Guys, Kroll. We'll never do it because it's flawless. They're... But there are a couple of things like this that don't make any sense. They do make a big deal out of using trank guns.

But they also plant a shitload of explosives on a door and they blow that open, not knowing who is behind that door. They could have killed a handful of people if they were standing close to a door. They are not good thieves. Well, and I would argue that our heroes are not good explosive engineers.

I mean, no one seems great at their jobs. No, but the amount of time they discuss blowing up that car and the sort of emotional attachment that our hero don't remember his name... Will. Will has to that car, and then they just... Don't do it.

Just don't do it. Everywhere they go, they are found. Everywhere they go, they are immediately found. And by the way, they also go to one of the worst places I would ever go in a hurricane, which is a greenhouse, which seems like that shit should have been ripped up, like, on minute one,

at cat one, and you've been fucked by... And it appeared that the rear of the greenhouse was a shipping container? What? What is that? What is that? I thought it was the bottom of the port, the greenhouse at the port, because that boat...

Oh, boy. It was, like, every time they were like, we've got to find what's her name. Oh, there she is. Every time. Like, hi, hi better. Did you feel like the whole movie took place, like, within two blocks?

Yes. They built that town. Clearly they built that shitty town. For sure. But I felt like the facility, like the shredding facility, the breezes apartment, that greenhouse that was all, like, in a town square.

Yeah. They don't travel far. They're just running a couple feet, but they're always driving for incredibly long distances. And I'm like, where are they driving? I wrote down, like, where are they going now? I don't know.

They don't tell you where they're going. They're just driving. Everybody's driving in this movie all the time. Yeah. It starts with driving, it ends with driving. It's just what they're driving that changes. Well, the producer of this is the producer of Fast and the Furious.

Oh, this is also directed by Rob Cohen, original Fast and Furious director. Exactly. And director of The Boy Next Door. That's right. And Stealth. Oh, right. Yeah.

The original. And Stealth and XXX, the first one. There are times they get in the car to massive hurricane winds around them and, like, barely. At one point, she kicks the door to get it to close. I loved that. But it's crazy outside.

And then they get in the car and they start talking. And then after a while, it's just, like, they're bebopping along. Like, no sense of... They are, like, you watching these movies. They reset so quickly. What was the plan again? What were we supposed to be doing?

Like, they just asking each other. And what was your relationship with your dad? Well, my dad's dead. Oh, I'm sorry. Like, I was like, are they... Are we supposed to believe there's a love story happening? Nope. No, I hope not.

I don't think so. I don't want them together. It's always I appreciated. No, I did too. But I was like, is that what they're... Because they were kept having heart to heart. Yeah, but brothers... And I was like, you wouldn't be doing this.

You'd be like, great, this is what the plan is. This is what we're doing. Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba. Great, go. And then, oh, no, I watched you die. Now I'm dead too. Uh-oh, credits. Um, but you know what I think it was?

We stayed for the chemistry, like on that last line, when they really were joking around, so much so that we had to let us know that they were joking. Like, this is the crazy end of this movie here. Listen, I've got YouTube partners. $200 million in cash. No, no shit. What do you say we turn this truck around and head to Moscow?

Maybe. Yeah, a lot of sound in there. Yeah, we could get into a shitload of dangerous. But, you know... I was messing with you, you fucking generous. What? What a great... Ha-ha, they're having so much...

Meanwhile, Breeze has almost died four times in the last six minutes. He's jumped from truck to truck and fallen three times at least. Yeah, he had a lot of trouble with those jumps. Yeah, yeah. Which he should literally be... He should have.

His other brother was doing way too good truck jumping. He's a meteorologist. He's like, hey, I got this one. Meanwhile, their plan... So again, their plan is to drive up behind the trucks and just jump on top. Yep.

And become full-on fucking action heroes. Maggie Grace is the only one who is trained to be an action hero. She's an ATF agent. Well, no, Breeze was in Afghanistan. Oh, right. Or Iraq. I can't remember what she said. But he's the weakest link in the truck jumping.

By the way, he has that whole cabinet full of guns and later just seems to have one gun. He took one. The brother, he's like, come on, take a gun. He's like, no, no, no. Like, no, take a gun, man. Like, they are trying to kill you. You don't know.

I do want to talk about... I believe his name is Connor, the Irishman. Yeah. I like his theatricality. His outfit change? Oh, yeah. When it changes into a... When it changes from...

But he looks like a total badass in military gear. And then he's wearing like an oversized leather jacket at one point. And I was like, is he disguising himself for some reason as a moron? But he had to do... Like, he does a couple things. Like, there's one thing where he goes up to that...

The room that we've established is bulletproof. And the two villains that are yet to... We know them to be villains are in there. And he goes, open sesame. And then the door opens. And I always like... My thought of it on that is always like, what was the plan?

Okay, so we'll break in there. And then I'll go to the door, right? And then he'll be like, you can't get in here. And then I'll say, open sesame. And then boom, you guys hit that thing. And then I'll walk in. That'd be cool. Yeah, let's do that.

All right, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Like, we were going to rehearse it. Yeah, yeah. I'll rehearse it. You want me to be... I'll be the guy. You can't come in here.

Open sesame. Click. Oh, yeah, that was good. Like, I feel like that kind of theatricality. Because it was all like... And I love that. And then he also says another line, too. Like, it's so right early.

Like, he puts that guy's head up against the save. He goes, your brain's going to spill all over this stainless. Stainless? Yeah, that's a stainless steel door of a safe. But why don't you go, your brain's going to spill all over this safe. This door or whatever. Stainless. Stainless is a weird thing to say.

Those characters, we haven't even discussed the couple who... Oh. Wow. So they initially show up to... Fix the shredder. Okay, so they're there to fix the shredder, but really to shut everything down, right? Well, one of them is British.

I said, from the minute they got there, because I'm a smart guy, they're bad. They're also... They're bad, they're bad. They're there, once again. Like the people at the National Weather Bureau. They're there to fix a shredder in Alabama. This woman is dressed like she's at a nightclub.

She's wearing like a one-shoulder, tight-fitting dress. And he's fucking British. It is. If those people showed up, shame on the people in there. If those people showed up and were like, we're here to fix the thing, I would be like, you're under arrest. Of course.

They're in cocktail attire. It's insane. You are clearly movie thieves. What are you doing? Avril Halley, who cuts all of our clips, wanted us to point out that she has a matching gun. Her gun matches her outfit. Yes.

It's gray and black. So she is rocking that. Their presence is so distracting, because they're also those kind of... They're the bad guys that like to fuck. So much so that when they're getting away, British dude is driving a double clutch 18-wheeler. A very difficult thing to do.

Again, he's British. And they are fucking in the truck. What? No. No. And I like fucking too. But if I'm getting away with $200 million, and I can barely drive it,

come on, come on! Oh, my goodness. I guess a lot of you guys think maybe this couldn't happen in real life. But our good friend, Mario Lopez, tested it out. Check it out here at the Hurricane Heist Extra Simulator.

Wait, what is this? This is the Hurricane Heist. Oh, I see, I see. And I'm about to get some excitement on my own, stepping inside the Hurricane Wind Simulator. I'm going to test the power of my wig here. Oh, wait, forget it, forget it. Can we go back a second?

Yeah. The dude from the movie looks so confused. Wait, wait, wait. He looks like Scott Bakula peeping in from Quantum Leap. He's like, wait, wait. Is that Mario? Is that Mario there? Wait, what am I doing?

Okay, sorry. He looks perplexed. So here we go, Mario Lopez, just so you get the visual at home, Mario Lopez is standing in front of two small machines that say Hurricane Simulator. Toby Keeble looks shocked to be there as if beamed in.

Here, which, by the way, is looking extremely tight. I just got to point that out. And we're going to see just how well it would hold up in category five storm. He's going to see how well his hair will hold up in a category five storm. A scientific test. I would love it if this was, like,

what killed Mario Lopez. It's a lot. Is he coming? I'm dying over here. All right. We're good. All right, how's the wing? Yeah, it's great.

Is that okay still? They just go back into place. Extra. Extra. I would love it. I would love it if he was just all of a sudden, he was like, ha, ha, and then blood, blood, blood, blood.

A hubcap comes flying in. It's from the movie. What was he screaming in there? He was like, help, help, it's pretty strong. It's pretty strong. I loved the PB and J's. By the way, this and Blues Brothers 2000 featuring PB and J's.

There's like a theme to this weekend. Weird. I don't mind it. And they have a great conversation about Jif in here. Oh, yeah. Here's, take a little. And Smuckers.

Jif, Smuckers, and Skippy. Yeah. I ain't nothing in there but poison. By the way, why? When he says there's nothing in there but poison, I was like, what do you mean? Isn't this Breeze's house? Yeah.

Like, does Breeze just have poison in it? Oh, wait, wait, wait. Where is this? Well, but they make just a word on Breeze's house. They make a big point to say that like, Breeze is the fuck up. That's a really nice apartment. Great.

And it just seems like Breeze is having like, casual sex. It doesn't seem like he's a fuck up. I had no problem with Breeze. Make a mistake. True blood is cool, bro. And I know that he's a little rough around the edges because he's got to put that cold water on his face,

got to wake it up, does a nice little cold water shower. All right, so here's the peanut butter. And another movie where someone is a former high school football superstar. It's a such, it's another trope that we see a lot, which is the inability of the American man to triumph beyond high school football success.

Until... Somehow befalling everyone? Until he is called into duty to run against the foo... I'm sorry, a hurricane. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, his greatest opponent used to be the other team. Yeah.

Now it's 200 mile an hour wins. Here's the weird thing though about the sort of climax of the movie and what happens with them, is that they don't ever stop the hurricane from damaging like... Well, they can't. I don't think that's... I don't think that's on offer.

Well, listen, I understand they can't. Wow. By the way, I would love it if he was like, don't worry, little brother, I got this. Bow! Rev-49! Oh, and the hurricane's like, oh, shit! Don't worry, I got this.

Don't worry, I got this. Blitz! I'm gonna get it. Bow! Take that hurricane. But the big move at the end is that they get away from what's his face? They just outrun it.

Well, they just outrun the hurricane is my point. There's no like crazy maneuvering... Well, they cross state lines and the hurricane can't cross state lines. Oh, I see. I see. But a part of me is just like, oh, well, I guess that hurricane just goes on to, you know,

to perform massive destruction. Oh, I'm sure the hurricane kills many more people. The whole chase sequence at the end, when they're driving the trucks, they're creating more obstacles. Like, they literally put, like, a giant cement wall, and I know it's like silos or whatever, but it's like, it looks like they are in the middle

of just field. And it's like, oh, shit, brick wall! There's no other infrastructure around at all, but a giant, like, almost just a huge brick wall that they have to make up. It looks like a football field-long brick wall that appears out of nowhere. And by the way, if you tried to make a turn that hard

in that kind of a truck, you would just immediately roll it. Immediately roll it. Also, the trucks were moving slow. It was like, who cares? I kept on going, like, why aren't you just... I thought at one point someone would say, you know what, let's just release the back half of these things, because...

We got to lighten the load. Yeah, let's lighten the load, because it's going to get sucked up anyway, so they run that full truck out there. Stupid. It's hard. Listen, after a while, I sympathize with the filmmakers,

like, how many things can just get sucked up into the sky? You know? There's only so much you can do. Remember when they have to tear down the cell phone tower? Okay. And the weatherman is, like, hit by a boat in the sky? And he's, like, okay. He is...

They go through such physical... Why are they doing that? They do it so that the nightclub act can't... can't finish hacking the vault. Right. But the nightclub act gets it down to one square and a 32 square thing, but they're creating way more destruction.

I thought for some reason they would use that satellite to, like, get help. Nope. But here's my question. So they have every single number in that, like, 11-digit code but one, right? Right. Correct. And it's 30-some odd numbers, I believe. Yeah, it's 30.

Okay. But they have all of them but one. Yeah. So they shut down the cell tower, so there's no... So it can't generate more codes. Okay. When they come back up,

they start just trying to guess that last number. Yeah. Well, the dude has, like, a whole schematic about how they're gonna come up with the number. Right, but they already have, like, 33 numbers. Correct. So it's really just that one number. Right.

That can't take that long. I think there's some... Because they're all two-digit numbers. It may be, like, an iPhone thing where if you do it, like, five times it locks permanently. I think there is some explanation that is like that, yeah. By the way, I'm re... There's a thing on your iPhone that if you enter in the code wrong ten times, it just erases, and all these parents are freaking out

because their kids keep on entering in the wrong code and just erasing their iPhones. Fucking parents. So they're probably dealing with that situation. If they enter in the code the wrong way, all that money just gets shredded. They are like... One of the things that I love about... I love heist movies.

I do. And one of the things that I love about them is oftentimes you are following the people perpetrating the heist and they're very good and thorough at it. And it's all about planning ahead, outsmarting, planning for every detail, having contingencies in place to make it work. These people have done none of that. And so the minute it goes sideways, which is immediately,

they are a mess. They don't know what to do. And they are so comically bad at it, only to be undone by how bad the good guys are at challenging them. This is the most real-life heist scenario I've ever seen. No one is as good as what we believe. It's like, Logan Luck, you're like, oh, cool. Whoa, it got me there.

And by the way, that's part of the fun of a heist movie. He's like, oh, I didn't see that. But again, you're watching it from the wrong side. And it also feels very real that instead of following, you know, eight characters, six characters to pull off this heist that we know and are interested in, it's like there's 30 of them? Yeah, it's even like the whole sheriff's department. Yeah, when they introduced the entirety of the local sheriff's department

as in on it, I'm like, do I care about these people now? There were people on that line I had never seen before. And why introduce the sheriff doing the double cross when your result is dead? Okay, anyone else want me to kill him? No? Okay, then you're on all side now. Irish bad guy. His, the woman he loves is killed.

And he seems unfazed. The rest of the mission, I, if he must... What do you mean the woman he loved? Jackie was his, right? Jackie was his... Who's Jackie? Who's Jackie? Who's Jackie?

Yeah, who's it? Who's Jackie? Who's Jackie? Guys, whoa. Jackie, Jackie is his lover who is killed in the scene. What are you talking about? She is, that's my point exactly. She's given the same weight.

Her death is given the same weight as Tandy Newton's in solo. We care more about the death of the droid than we do Tandy Newton in solo. Wait, are you kidding about this? Is there really someone named Jackie in the show? Yeah. Wait, what scene was she in? She's in his crew, remember?

They come in, they're like... Trank, Trank, Trank. And they come in and he's like, You did it, baby. And they're like... And then like two scenes later, she gets like, I don't know. I thought that was just the,

either way the Irish say hello. Interesting thing about this movie. So Richard Wycliffe is an author and he wrote a book called Storm Crashers about a high-tech... Sequel to wedding crashers. A high-tech heist during a hurricane. He shopped it around to all the big studios.

Everyone passed. And then shortly thereafter, two movies with the exact same premise were greenlit at these studios. So interesting that this guy may have been ripped off. Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn are back. We've got a category five hurricane. Are you thinking what I'm thinking, buddy?

Let's crash that storm. But then, more interestingly, Stallone has been attached to two projects, very similar. One was called Gale Force. It was an early 1990 project. Please tell me that's the character's name. I would only hope.

He's an ex-Navy Seal who defends the Seat Coast town from a gang of pirates during a hurricane. Creative differences about the script and concerns about the cost force the company to scrap the project. And he made Cliffhanger instead. Then he came back to it

in 1995 called No Safe Haven about an ex-Marine, same idea, who fights a militia cult that takes over Martha's Vineyard. And that was canceled very early in production. That's all I want. All I want is for a Nicholas Sparks movie to be invaded by Sylvester Stallone.

Sylvester Stallone is Gale Force in No Safe Harbor. But Stallone is very similar to Stephen King. If he likes an idea, he'll kind of redo it a few times. Gale Force. Gale Force. Martha's Vineyard.

All right, let's go to the audience and see what you guys have to say. Here we go. Well, Paul's going out there. I just want to remind everybody, don't you fucking look at us. Okay, your name and your question. Angela, just a quick question.

Did anybody else notice that the Batmobile thing, the meteorologist was driving, didn't have windshield wipers? Yes, I wrote that down. We're back on track. I wrote that down. Don't get cocky, Angela. I wrote that down.

He never turns on the windshield wipers. Invisibility zero. That's some Batman shit. All right, ma'am. Your name, your question. My name is Katie, and my question is, if he's a meteorologist and the storm is coming on, why isn't he at work?

Like, he's helping put plywood over his brother's window instead of... Well, I think he did what he was there to do, which was launch the drones, and then he's trying to help his bro out and be like, you got to get out of here. And there, I don't know if you noticed in the movie, their relationship is fractured.

Yeah. So he's going to do whatever he can to get back on track and get in Breeze's good graces. I think he's trying to repair what happened, you know, early on at that football game before his dad's death by the silo. And I think he's trying to give him fair warning and keep him alive.

Yeah, really reconnect and mend those fences and you're going to be torn apart by the hurricane. But I hear you, he should be at work, too. If you prioritize work as you must over family. Interesting. All right, I'm up here in the balcony. Ooh. Be careful, Paul.

Paul, someone is walking up behind you. I just saw someone at the corner of my eye. You guys can stay in your seats. You don't have to go to Paul. I will come to you. I am looking at your notes, which make me feel like they look like they were written by children going to school.

This looks like a homework assignment. And I can't wait to see what will come out of this. Your name? Julian. Okay, Julian, and your question. It's Julian Assange, everyone. From WikiLeaks. So in the beginning, Maggie Grace,

when they're driving the trucks out and everybody's evacuating the town, the trucks are blocking everybody getting out. The tow truck broken down in one lane. Then she slams into the other lane of working cars and effectively, like, prevents everybody from escaping. And then later, when they're driving out of town, the roads are clear.

It is a crazy way to introduce your hero as someone who is hurting innocent people. She slams the truck. And what's the reason, just to get there on time? No, just to, like, create space so they can get out. To direct the tobacco cops? To drive through the tobacco farm. That she's saving people from cancer, which made sense.

Okay. Okay, don't grab the mic. And your name and your question. My name is Ryan. I'm going to qualify this. I created my first career working for Moshe Diamant, who is a producer on this thing. My question is, there are 29 producers

and executive producers on this movie. Do you think this movie would be better or worse off if there were more or less producers on this movie? That's a really interesting question because it feels like there were 29 producers on this movie. It almost feels like there was a producer for every actor and every actor had a version of the script. And every single bad guy, Jackie included,

had their own producer. Okay, you're wearing a shirt. It's a homemade shirt. And what is it up? I'm the Hurricanes. Oh, I with the three trucks. That is an amazing, that's amazing. The I of the Hurricanes.

A homemade Hurricane Heist shirt? All right. All right. This is the least drunk the balcony has been so far. Balcony giving us some good stuff. All right, your name and your question. My name is Maggie and actually... Is it Maggie Grace?

I prepped myself for that. So every time you guys said my name, I was like, oh, wait, no, it's not me. So... Wait, you really thought whenever we would say Maggie Grace? No, it's... You prepped yourself so that when we would say Maggie, you knew, oh, they're not talking to me.

Like, when I go to a dog park, everybody's dogs named Maggie too. That's the most common. Like, oh, my friend's dogs named Maggie. After this movie? Yeah, pretty much, yeah. All right, see your question. All right, so they say that...

So when people are calling their dogs... When you go to the dog park, do you have to prepare yourself? Those are just their dogs. They're not. Those people... Those people, I've learned the hard way, do not want me to run and get in their car. They're talking to their dog.

Now, I will say, Jason, I will say that Maggie is wearing a leash and sitting next to someone who is holding the leash. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Chicago and your puppy play. All right, Maggie, what do you got? Okay, so there are...

When they're cracking the code, they say they need one more number, and they say they need a two-digit integer. Two integer number. Hold on, say it again. They say they need a two-inager number. Okay, so she's a math PhD, and I'm going to let her explain why that's really stupid.

Okay, so digits are... Sorry, everybody. Digits are zero through nine. So when you write out a number, it would be a two-digit number. An integer is any of the normal positive or negative numbers, so two digits together is just an integer. There are no two integer numbers. Wow.

Wow. You have an ally here in the front row who feels so vindicated right now. Right now, she's freaking out. So math nerds... How many math nerds in the audience tonight? Great. Okay, find each other after the show and finger each other or whatever.

Use your digits how they're supposed to be used. Black it out! Black it out! Okay, we have another question up here. And just so you know, Maggie, can we reference Maggie from here on out? We're probably not referring to you. And any of the other Maggie...

Yes, and no disrespect. We're representing the audience named True Blood. We're not talking about that. We're not talking to you either. You were probably talking about the movie. All right, sir, your name and your question. My name is Bill, and my question is, you guys said that the heist was only supposed to take minutes

because the shredder was down. They were supposed to get in there. They were going around using that wall of like inside the eye of the hurricane. So if the heist hadn't gone as long as it had, they would have been fucked. I guess so, Will. Will, you know what? Will just got that.

Good question, Will. Up until now, Will, the whole movie made sense, but you cracked it open. Michael, Michael, can you prepare my door up here for a second? Okay, I have a... Yes, sir, your name, your question. My name is Steve, and we're told that it's a Category 1 hurricane

that has a central pressure of 999 millibars and winds of 600 miles per hour. But that pressure is more akin to a tropical storm and winds of 600 miles an hour are only found on the eye of Jupiter that two Earths can fit in. And Katrina at peak intensity reached 207 miles per hour, which would make Tammy a Category 17 hurricane

and would cause so much debris that it would cause nuclear winter. Holy shit. Great research. He just got in his Batmobile and drove off. Wow. The balcony bringing it with their facts and figures. Apparently, the balcony is full of mathematicians

and meteorologists. Okay, well, you know what? Jason, there's one person here in an outfit that is based on you. It says, Jason is my Patronus. Come here. Well done. I'll take that. I'll take that.

I wish that I was a category of Patronus that you could have. All right, so here we go. Your name and your question. My name is Madison, and I was just wondering... What house are you in, Madison? Hufflepuff? Madison... She covered her eyes when answering that. Madison, you can sit down, sweetie. I'm just kidding. Hufflepuff are great.

Jason, she wants me to point out that she made you a Gryffindor. Oh, thank you. Thank you. So, you said you have a couple. I would say pick the best. Here we go. When we're talking with the hackers and he says, Grock this, does that mean anything? Oh, wait, this guy says yes it does. Yes, sir. It's from Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein.

Whoa! And I'd also like to know what June's opinion is on hacker clothing since we went from, like, red pleather bodysuits and skin guards and hackers to cocktail attire? Well, I don't remember that movie you're referring to. Madison, I want to apologize for insulting the fact that you're Hufflepuff.

I think that's terrific. Hufflepuff Strong House. Cedric Diggory, R-I-P. Okay, forever in our hearts, Cedric Diggory. I apologize from the bottom of my heart for minimizing your house and its achievements. What are some of the achievements of the Hufflepuff? Well, you know, when people weren't selected to be

in one of the other houses, Hufflepuff said, I will take those people and I will still make them great. She accepted everybody, even the people that had not been selected by Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin. Oh, guys, people really don't like how much I talk about Harry Potter.

I'm going to try one more escape route here. It is apparently not attractive for a 45-year-old single man to know this much about Harry Potter. Jason, though, real quick, are you going to go see the Cursed Child Parts 1 and 2 on phones? You know, I really am struggling with it. I don't know if I'm going to go. Someone just beg me for a question.

And here it is. Okay, sir, you name your question. My name is Dan. Likely story. So my question is, why would she, if she changed the code for this whole vault door at the last minute because she had a suspicion that hurricanes give people bad ideas,

why would she hide the iPad in the pile of garbage for the whole movie? And the sad reality is I watched this movie two times and the second time was with the director commentary. Did you learn anything? The director, Rob Cohen, says the reason he had her hide the iPad in the garbage is because he didn't want to deal with her worrying about losing the iPad

throughout the whole film. That's a great, for movies, it's a great thing to take away the tension, right? You don't want to have something important getting lost. You know, I was confused about that iPad, though. I mean, she knew the numbers, though, didn't she? The code was just in there. No, the code is in there, I think,

because she asked for the numbers to be changed. You okay? I'm up on the side balcony. Wow. Oh, did you enjoy the show, Mrs. Lincoln? Nailed it. Guys, we're having a great time. I can't, I can't say enough.

This town is fucking awesome. These audiences have been amazing. The balcony is dangerous. I'm glad Madison is up there protecting it. Obviously we had an opinion about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion and it is now time for Second Opinions. Second Opinions,

don't stick to the regular opinions you're used to. I know that you think it's a bad movie, but some others don't, and we're gonna hear about it. Second Opinions, yeah. Amazing. Thank you, Luke. Give it up for Luke.

What's up? And now it's time for Second Opinions. Sometimes you gotta say, hey, the storm was really scary, but I still love this movie. Sometimes you gotta say, hey, hey, welcome to my review. I know you think this movie blew.

I do not agree with you for that I must bid you adieu. Welcome to Amazon. My Second Opinion is the only one. This is my confession. Bad movies are my obsession. Oh, mate. Yes.

Jordan. Give it up for Jordan. Great. Killing it so far, everybody. Killing it so far. Oh, a duo. A duo. I will mic the guitar.

You get on the mic. Here we go. Paul, do you think that's a guitar? I will mic the big guitar. The big guitar, right? The big guitar, yeah. He's a very tall man with a normal size guitar, yeah. Yeah, he's a giant.

A giant. All right. Here we go. And now it's time for Second Opinions. I know, I know you were wrong about that bill but tonight I will give it five stars. Amazing.

Amazing. Melissa and James. Amazing. Great work. Great work. Don't touch me. Great work. All right.

So here they are. Five Star Reviews, called from Amazon. I will tell you some bad news about the Five Star Reviews. This movie came out March 9th. It is right now early, what is it, May? Or is it May? Yeah. No, June.

It's early June. It's June. June. June. June. June. June. June.

June. June. June. June. June. June. June. June.

June. So Good. So Good. So there aren't many reviews. What? Because it just came out this week and you had to buy it, so no one would do that. So we had to actually go to IMDB

and there is some interesting reviews. These are 10 Star Reviews from IMDB and this first one is written by Ryota Nakashiki and it says, hurricane game, it embodies what responsibility is. Hurricane is not the antagonist, that's the title. I am... I am going to read selected bits. I tried to read the bits that I felt made sense.

I'm going to tell you, it won't, but enjoy the ride. This hurricane is equal with fictional function of any monsters in filmmaking. All of them are not antagonists, but are devices to express human conflicts among human characters. Any defect in humanity is a lack of true drama. The hurricane heist makes us realize what a true antagonist should be. I mean, we cannot ignore the clear cinematic refrain among the tight sequences in the end of Act 2 to 3, which are chase scenes from the Federal Bank to the highway with a Category 5 hurricane, which threatens them from behind.

Decision making is the nature of the plot and it embodies the meaning of subtext in the entire cinematic expression. Will and Casey don't make a kind of decision to steal the Federal Bank money when they can do it like the failed villains. This is the structure. The screenwriter are highly conscious about the plotting that expresses meaning of entire context clearly. Ten stars.

Wow. I'm not going to lie. I think that review is by a bot. I feel like it might be like extra meaning for Will and Casey, increased size of penis. Everybody knows subtext is one, two, one, one. I bet you anything that they have some sort of like program that does generate reviews like that. Yeah, the studio is high. One of the 29 producers has hired a bot to infiltrate IMDB reviews.

Dan Olson writes just two days ago. A lot of IMDB reviewers though love me. You know, are you saying those are bots? I'm saying it's, there's a high probability that they're bots. Yeah, I read one. It was like Jason is man. Jason is good. Yeah.

Jason. Yes. Person. Jason person. Jason funny movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

This one is titled right up my alley. The storm graphics were pretty powerful and immersive for me, particularly towards the end. The great broccoli? The plot twist. June, I'll give you $10,000 to legally change your name to Gray Broccoli. Calling for a... Honestly, I feel like I could have taken like a couple of my children's trucks and like made a little diorama with Gray Broccoli and just like the town. By the way, that goes out to the fans.

Why not reconstruct this movie on your iPhone with toy trucks and Gray Broccoli? By the way, there's some moments in this movie that are very, like, model. Like, model where I was like, is that a model? It is a model. It's not, it's not even a high tech model. It's like, hey look, they graduated from Caltech. They know how to do stuff. They built a cool little model.

No, like a model like Kate Upton. Like real Vava Vavoon storm. So Dan Elton continues and goes, the plot twist, we're surprising for me. Maggie Grace has a familiar beauty that I appreciate. Minnesotan? She... She looks like one of my sisters. I'm rooting for her.

The two male heroes added a lovely story of brothers, damaged, done, and healing. They aren't Ka-Blam stars, but as Maggie, they were people we can relate to with likable and unlikable qualities. Personally, I enjoyed their character development. The thing about disaster porn for me is it reminds me of the horrifying shock one experiences when the natural world takes on a blind maleficence. My literature professor pointed out truth that I had not known, that there is a catharsis. In other words, a purging that happens when we collectively watch things that we find too hard to face in our conscious life. Things that lurk below are subconscious.

That's my excuse, 10 stars. Wow. And that's really... Yeah, that's enough. Yeah, that's enough. IMDB goes down a different rabbit hole than our friends at Amazon. But there we are. Jason, June, the question I asked you at all, podcast is this.

Would you recommend this movie? No. Here's what I'll say. We certainly had fun talking about it. We certainly had fun talking about it. I would say, watch Den of Thieves. You know, it's also a heist. I say that, honestly, because it's a much better heist movie.

And I would say, in A, put that to the side now. I would then say, watch Geostorm. It is a better brother's mending their differences while saving the world movie. It is more enjoyable. And if this movie is on HBO sometime and you want to, like, tune into it for a little bit, okay, but I wouldn't... I certainly am furious I now own this. We are a two hurricane heist household because I have it bought on mine and June hasn't bought on hers.

Honest to God. Honest to God, we just drastically changed the domestic VOD box office of this movie by choosing it for this podcast. You're welcome, 29 producers. So I would say no. I don't think it's as fun as I was hoping it would be. Yes. Because it simply, it does not, and I don't want to, I really like Maggie Grace. Everybody was fine.

But the thing about Geostorm is it's a nonsense movie, but Gerard Butler can make everything so much more watchable. I mean, we are Gerard Butler fans through and through. Oh, yes. I would never watch this movie again. If I saw it on TV, I'd be excited that I had the power to pass by it. But don't you feel as though if you saw it on TV, you wouldn't remember seeing it and you might accidentally watch it again?

No, I would never stop and watch this movie, ever. So Jason, it's a no. June, you want more hurricane ghost fates. I will say, yeah, I wanted this to be like fast and furious in the middle of a hurricane. Yes. And I feel like the characters were lacking. I didn't connect to them and I didn't also connect to the heist or the action. Because even when the action was done, it felt so CGI that it didn't feel like

we were watching anything real. It didn't feel like real threats because they survived so many things that would kill them. It felt like there was no real threats to their safety at all. Yeah. Well, that's that, people. What do you have to plug, Jason, anything? So at the end of this month, Adult Swim is going to air June 24th at midnight. Adult Swim is going to air a special that I made with Brian Husky, Jesse Falcon and Rob Cordry.

It's called Mr. Neighbor's House 2. It's basically, pause, it's the idea, what if David Lynch created the Mr. Rogers show? It is super dark and fucked up and it's very funny. So please watch that. June. Nothing. All right. I will say that this entire week, and you can probably catch it tonight, at 4 a.m. on Adult Swim,

I have a thing I wrote, an infomercial called Message from the Future. It is a special Adult Swim infomercial slot. It's insane. I hope you enjoy that. You can go back and find it on YouTube, I'm sure, whenever you're listening to this. And also, just a quick plug for this podcast I'm doing with Amy Nicholson called Unspooled. Thank you. Please subscribe to it.

We talk about good movies there, like Wizard of Oz. And this week, we talked about a movie with Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire. And it's fun to actually watch good movies. Sounds fun. That sounds really fun. It sounds like a really nice time. I don't remember being asked to participate in something that gives you joy. We're running out of time.

I'm so sorry to cut you guys off. Why did you give Amy Nicholson joy but us nightmares? One of the producers is telling me, the producer is telling me we've got to wrap it up. We don't have producers. There are no producers. That's the audience. You're pointing at the audience. Okay, we'll wrap it up, producers, don't worry about it.

We don't have to wrap it up. We can stay as late as we want. Nick Kiley. Big thanks to Nick Kiley, April Halley, who cut together all of our clips. Kelly Aldo put this whole thing together. Thank you all. Thank you, Chicago. Thank you so much, Chicago.

You guys have been amazing. We will 100% come back to this city. Thank you so much.