How Did This Get Made? - Matinee Monday: The Meg LIVE! (w/ Nicole Byer & Adam Scott)

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

HDTGM all-stars Nicole Byer (Best Friends) and Adam Scott (R U Talkin’ R.E.M. RE: ME?) join Paul and Jason to talk about the 2018 science fiction thriller The Meg starring Jason Statham. Recorded live at Largo at the Coronet in Los Angeles, they talk about Statham’s incredible diving, the secondary characters being stereotypes, and the Meg eye stab. (Originally released 08/30/2018) Go to www.tusctogether.com to donate to the Union Solidarity Coalition and to bid on auction items that support striking crew members who've lost their health insurance.HDTGM is going on tour this August! Tix on sale now at hdtgm.comFor more Matinee Monday content, visit Paul's YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/c/PaulScheerFollow Paul on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/paulscheer/HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: https://discord.gg/paulscheerCheck out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (https://www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: listen.earwolf.com/deepdiveSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter

Jason Statham literally fist fights a shark. I'm in. We saw the Meg, so you know what that means. Whoooo! Freeman! Hot as swats and egg and growl baby in this belly Rock and rock, stone vest while I'm whipping just in the kelly I may be see a burlest show with Nick Crowe

and take a boob with feet to hit and hooves control J-Man big Paul and the beautiful jewel Gonna take you from the boom, by the way, to the road Branded games of street fire, they hope to blow off steam Just a sucker, plus the online life, attempt to bring Shot in it, or the bird, damn it, how we stand and lie They call it in the badass, and he's on the line Cranking 88 minutes minutes cause they cool his eyes

Cause the bad Jim Barney looking kind of nice Paul and Julia and literal Jason is getting laid Jonas make a show all the monkey shots getting paid They're just a bunch of movies while they making the grade Here's a real question for you how did this get made? What's up people of A! And how are you, Los Angeles? You're so sweet. We are here live at Largo, our LA home.

So excited to be here tonight to talk to you about a movie that is important. So important, we couldn't wait the four months for it to come out on video on demand. No, we didn't give this the Skyscaper treatment. We said you have to go to the theater and see this movie. You need to support the box office and you did this movie came in number one and I think it's all because of you. So excited to talk about this movie which is Jason Statham fighting sharks single-handedly. I know there are other people in it but I don't remember them and I can't tell you their names. But to talk about this movie tonight,

I have assembled an amazing panel, of course led by my amazing co-host. Please welcome Jason, man, Zookas. What's up, jerks? Oh, we show a band. Who is it the 5pm arc light showing up this movie? Yeah, by the way, me and the people in the audience were the only ones there. I will say that I think most of our panel is freshly from the theater.

Ooh, we know. The pie's still got popcorn in my mouth. Holy cow. I want to talk about this movie in great detail, and that's what we're going to hear. We're going to do it. You don't want to just broad strokes this one? I mean, I had some other things I would like to get into. Frozen.

We could talk about that. Frozen all day, baby. Love it. Make it anyway. Under everyone's seat. Get it before it melts. If it's just Frozen, I'm whipped. We are responsible for many alcoholics

falling back into bad habits simply by forcing frosay on you. Topped to me, Jason, very briefly. I went into it with very, very briefly, because we're going to get into it in the show, but great. High hopes. I went in with very high hopes. Where did it fall?

Did it exceed them? Did it meet them? Did it go on the other day? You know, you know, you know. You know, I also very high hopes and it didn't exceed them. No. Can you imagine? Can you imagine what this would have been if we had gone and it had exceeded our hopes? There was a hope that it would have exceeded it.

I mean, what would that entail? More boobs, but But I thoroughly enjoyed it. Yes, you know some parts were kind of exactly where I wanted the whole movie to be and some parts were like Wolf, I wish this wasn't happening. I feel that is a good summation of this film. I am pretty much on your scene. It was like a 40% yay, no 45% yay, 55% uf maybe. Some were in there, I don't know. And there were moments when they hit that you were like, fuck yeah, like for example, the very entitled card, Finn, fucking that.

100% I'm like, I want that movie all day long. I got this movie and I'm happy with this movie, but I want to do it. I will say this, if anybody else but Jason Statham had been in this movie, it would have? Yes. It would have been awful. It would have been awful. One hundred percent agree. Like, I'm trying to think.

I'm trying to, like, originally it was going to be directed by Eli Roth and apparently the reason why he left the project was I think was because he wanted to be the lead actor in it. Broom. So that would have been... MMM. No, and I just feel like you need someone with a very strong gravitas.

The rock could have done this. Yeah. I mean, it's body in a diving swimming situation. I would, well, really? Baywatch, baby. Ooh, you're right. I will say this. Like, I feel like the rock should have done this

instead of skyscraper, right? Well, look, I don't want to shit on skyscraper. You don't? It's a future episode. A future episode of the show. I want to save my opinions for that movie. I've never seen Die Harden. This is my favorite movie about a burning building.

No, I'm just joking. I've seen Die Harden. A gentleman over here just lost his mind. What? What? I don't want to get too far ahead of this discussion. I like that guy. That's the big reveal of night. She was never seen die hard. I've seen them all multiple times.

Except the first one. I've seen them all multiple times. Except the first one. Yes. Which cannot be as good as the one with just in long. I know. How could it be good? More Bonnie Bidelia all day long. Oh!

That's the success of the grandchild. Oh, grandchild. Bonnie Bidelia. Give me an anarcher. Give me, where are you ladies of the 80s? Ladies of the 80s is Jason and I's other podcasts. Yep. Um, all right.

Ladies of the 80s. Kim Basinger is our focus on today's episode. That is, by the way, that is a podcast I would legitimately do. Gina Davis. Gina Davis. Accidental tourist? Come on! Bletch!

Bletch! Please, gentlemen, our next guest had very strong opinions about the film Bloodsport. She is hilariously funny. She's a great stand-up comedian. She has an amazingly hilarious Netflix show. Please welcome Nicole Byer! What? What?

What? What? What? Cuma-tec, Cuma-tec, Cuma-tec, Cuma-tec, Cuma-tec, Cuma-tec, Cuma-tec. Welcome to Cole. Kumate Kumate Kumate Kumate Kumate Kumate Welcome to Cole Thank you for having me So excited to have you here back again

I feel like we needed to bring you back for a film that look I mean the mega where do you fall on it? Where do you were you excited about it? Did you know about it? I had no idea about it Hadn't seen one trailer, but I knew it was about a shark, and I was like, I hope it's like a woman who falls in love with the shark she calls Meg. And that's not what it was about. Wait, you wanted it to be a woman who falls in love

with a shark named Meg. Yes. Like, and the shark is a female shark named Meg. Sure. I didn't do it. I don't care. I'm going to do it. It's like a lesbian, the shape of water. Yes.

Yes. By the way, I mean to it. Yes. 100%. No, but I will say you got a great love story in here. But there was no dick. There was like nobody fucked. And we were at the same showing.

Did you hear me going going when they go fuck? I said it out loud three times. No, I didn't hear you. Nicole and I figured how we were at the same screening did not know it. No, I was very busy jerky now. Yes, and I was busy scooping my paws. Don't go to that arc light. You're in LA and void it. Wait, I think I did see you. You had an ice cream scooper.

I had an ice cream scooper. I was hovering over the seat just scooping it. Just, guys, it's so hot. And to be fair, that was you did the same thing for Christopher Robin. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I'm going to go for it. Gotta scoop that honey out.

Oh. Well, where did it fall on your scale? Not knowing anything. I'm scooping my butt. If it's Christopher Robin, I'm scooping my butt. Because that's where the poo is. Boom, boom, boom. No? In that movie where the poo is. Yeah. Boom, boom, boom. No?

In that movie. I love it. No, no, no, no. To your fault. To your fault, Swinney the Pooh does teach Christopher Robin how to go down on his wife is that true? Yes. All right.

Yes, and the CGI poo has a dick. Mm. Nicole did the movie Meet Expectations for Below Expectations or Accede Expectations. Oh boy, it was just so wild. It was like a first draft that like eight people wrote together and they were like, DAAAAAAAHHHHH! We don't have all the parts, but let's shoot it!

I admire that. I feel like someone said, if you can shoot the movie next month, we'll give you the boats. And they were like, okay. I feel like it's probably not far away from that. It was, I felt like it was a team of international road rules, like contestants writing it.

It was like no one spoke the same language, but they understood that they could make a movie. They all understood movie, was they? It was like the dialogue was written in another language and then translated to English. I'm not even sure some of those people English is their third language. It was wild.

Now, obviously, you know, I bring a level of expertise to a film like this because I, of course, was in Prana 3D, Prana 3D, Double D. I know about animals attacking people. But there's also someone who also has a similar level of experience. Someone who's been on the show before, he is a hilariously funny guy. He has been in shows like Parks and Rec,

Big Little Lies. Please welcome Adam Scott! Thank you. Thank you guys. Welcome. Welcome, Adam. Also fresh from the theater. Oh, yeah, it came straight here from the Grove where I saw this movie. And what are your treats of choice, Adam? I sat there. I had for dinner I had a bag of peanut M&Ms tonight. Yeah. And a diet coke the size of a swimming pool. Do they have one of those coke machines

where you can kind of do whatever you want, like 190 flavors at the... No, it wasn't the touchscreen one, which is a bummer. It's the best. I know, I want that so bad. I want one in every room of mine. I know I can do it. Too overwhelming.

Because then you're like, what if I mix grape and cherry? I know. Well, it's trash. I know you never end up doing it, right? Because you know it's going to be terrible. I like to do it, and then I dump it out, and then I'm that lady who's like, sorry, everyone! You have to start over. I haven't just started over, gotta get my eyes!

You got the treating getting so dead that the movies, like it's an experiment. Oh, like a laugh. It reminds me of going to 7-Eleven when I was a kid, but with 150 choices, I lean heavily into Celser and the flavor. What's happening right now? Yeah. Ah.

You know what I did? I said to the guy at the counter, can I have a root beer? That's what happened to me. Art Light doesn't slum it with these big coke machines where you can put like a million flavors. Like I can have watermelon soda. That's what I go to is it's delicious.

Yeah. I've never had that. And I feel like I should. I should. I have had watermelon soda. It's really, it's not like, it's a mellow yellow... I feel like the crowd just caught on to that. It's Black People's National Fruit.

Like, we all know that. That's like, if I have an ad-fried chicken soda, it would be the first thing I taste. It's 150 flavors. Do they have fried chicken soda? They do. Where were we at? I missed it.

I mixed it a little bit with like a Coke Zero and it tastes really good. The fried chicken. Can I get like, is there like a gogert in there? Can I get like a thick viscous yogurt? But you can get a milkshake at like a machine at a gas station. It's called full reel.

Really? Yes. I'm saying you put the cup in and then mix it up. like at like a machine at a gas station is called full reel. You pull it? Really? Yes. I think you put the cup in and then you mix it up. Yes, and you could pick your thickness and I love it. Oh wow. I love it. Oh, I love gas station milkshakes.

That's so good. Do you also get to pick is one of the selections, how quickly it becomes diarrhea? Do you get to set a timer on it. Like, well, I'll be home in about a half an hour, so in about 45 minutes, I want to have like hot, brown water explode out of my ass. It's just a nice drink, because I just stir up for you, right?

Yeah. Adam, this movie, where did it fall? LAUGHTER Where did it fall on your scale? That's where the poo is. Was it, did it exceed your expectations? Did it, did it come in below? What did you feel?

I was, I will say that I was as weirdly invested in seeing this movie as Cliff Curtis was weirdly invested in Jason Statham and the leading ladies relationship in this movie. A character whose name I think was Mack and it was indistinguishable when Statham said, Meg or Mac. So he'd be like, where's Mac? And you're like, wait, is he asking about the guy who's his friend? Or where's the shark right now? That's right.

I was confused by that, and I've already forgotten about it. Like, I think most of them know. Oh, this movie has a one of those things that if you watch it till the end, it takes you into forgetting it. And there's like a post hypnotic suggestion. That's right.

And you just forget it almost instantly. That's right. I will say that this movie, it's interesting because I think they made a really serious movie that was bad. And then they were like, but what if we just made it a little bit lighter in moments? Like I don't,

because it had like a weird tone that it never really went either way. It was weird, it was like, they, because there were lots of parts of the abyss that were lifted, lots of elements of jaws, but it was as if they had never seen the abyss. Or jaws. They took out all, like, most of the movie is the third act of jaws.

Right. Without the first act, or like, where there's any terror, or like, they don't even seem to be, that freaked out. They're like, you just said, you're scream. No one ever screamed. No, no one was ever like That's a die! Like no, but at the very end, at the beach in China, a woman screams in English, sharp.

Yeah! That was a white woman! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no She was having the chance to survive. She was upset. I get it. But I was like, what is going on? By the way, that beach does not exist. There is where every water sport is happening concurrent. And everyone is in it. Everyone is in an interview. Everyone is in an interview.

And then they have floating rafts. And I was like, how do they get out there? And they have jet skis going in between us. And then like stand up paddleboard in it. And people in giant balls. And people doing, I want to get one of them balls. I want to get one of those balls too. It was genuinely a fun element was the guy in the ball being chased. And then him biting it was weirdly disappointing.

Yes, I feel like that bite would have been great in 3D because it seemed like the cap of the ball shoots at you and you're like, oh, I think they did it wrong. I think the shark should have bit it and then the man should have been propelled forward. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, that would have been very funny. What's this movie rated? PG-13. Okay, because that was the other thing.

I felt like it was, the kills were unsatisfying. Yes. And as a result, you are like, how many people is the shark actually getting? Everybody kind of gets away. Well, they're basically, I mean, they're not even in as a danger of people getting killed besides those people on the station for literally

like two hours to 40 minutes or an hour and 40 minutes. Also, a lot of the time they're on the surface of the ocean in a rig that is pretty safe, rather than being trapped under the water or on, there's a period of time on the boat, but it just felt like the four being in this situation the stakes were were weirdly weirdly low The movie is based upon the premise that Jason Statham is an underwater like EMT right like I mean like he is Reluctant a locked in underwater EMT He's really bummed about it.

And he's like, but that's his thing is, he's the best at deep sea rescue. Right. Not the best at like diving, not the best at whatever. He's the best at deep sea rescue. But he is how often. But he's how often. Are he, are his skills necessary? You don't hear that name. He's like, yeah. Are his skills necessary?

You don't hear that, but he's like, yeah. And he's super pissed about it. Yeah. Well, he clearly is not that great, because the minute they get onto that sunken submarine, he immediately takes off the hazmat suit, which I'm like, I don't know if that's the smartest choice. Right.

Immediately, if I, no, we're all good here. It's like, no, that seems to be there for a reason. There could be many of gases out there. But he could be. You're right, many of all good here. It's like, no, that seems to be there for a reason. There could be many of gases out there. But he could be. You're right, many of gases out there. Many gases out there. Many of gas is out there on the sub. Someone could have farted inside the sub.

I do, you never know. But the opening moment is this, the Meg, or A Meg, is attacking this big sub, and he makes a decision, and he thinks about it. And how do we know he thinks about it? Because that camera. Oh yeah. This is the crazy thing about this movie, the thinking shots.

Mm-hmm. He's just like, I've never seen a powerful, a job before. He's awesome. He's great. Like again, like Jason said, without stafem in it, it's not a good movie. I don't know.

All right. I think Will Smith could have done a very good job. Oh, okay. Because men in black is a masterpiece. And there's what else. Yes, I agree. There are people of that level who would have been great. I'm saying it's stafem.

Well, because I think there are. And we'll Smith, yes, a million percent. George Clooney was attached originally. Literally. No, no, no, no. Ooh, I want to say the truth. When this movie was first put together, George Clooney was attached as the lead guy. That's, that's wild. That's nuts.

Yeah. I mean, but Rain Wilson's been in since the jump, right? Rain Wilson's character in this movie is interesting, because he's essentially like an Elon Musk, who seemingly is nice until the very last time we see him. Oh, you're evil bit. There's nothing to connote that he was evil. Can I ask a question? And I mean this, what was his macro plan?

What's he up to? Oh, that's wild. I understand. I understand like he didn't want this to get out. He didn't want the culpability to be put back on him when he says, oh these are all people, any attack they could sue me or whatever, but what's his for initial plan? To go beneath that surface. What? What? Yeah for what? To be like cool,

we found a new thing. But he gets there not understanding anything and has to be introduced to everything that's happening there. But he's got very cool sneakers. Also, I loved that all of the secondary characters were stereotypes. Like the black guy couldn't swim. I knew that was quiet. That was crazy. I thought it blew my mind. They acknowledged how racist it was and then just kept doing it.

Yes. Yeah. Because I carried you there was a book because I'm black, and then just kept doing it. Yes! Yeah! Because I carried you there with the book, because I'm black, but then later I was like, I can't swim! Oh, a mass of pull me out! It was so crazy! It's crazy!

And then, in this case, the mass is a tiny Asian girl. She's like, shut the fuck up! And there's an odd thing with him too, because not only did they embarrass him by not having him swim, but they's like, this wasn't in the job description. It's like, wait, working in an undersea research facility, you didn't think you were gonna be anywhere near what? Like, he didn't seem smart at his job,

and I didn't know what it was. Has the Rover pilot? I guess that's what he's there for is the Rover pilot. Everyone there, you can do a job. Yeah, Ruby Rose, I'm like, oh my god, she's off with her hair. She's the nasty little dreadlocks that I couldn't handle.

But they also did that in the movie. There was like, what's up with your hair? Like every time they wanted to like, either indulge in a stereotype or whatever, they just, I felt like felt like somebody was like well if you speak to it in the movie you can do whatever you want But but he said what's up with your hair when it was when she just got out of the water It was just wet and just like back and then in the next scene. It's all crazy again And everyone's fine with it and then she gives him a real good slam She's like what's up with yours? He's bald. He's like, uh, too shaked.

Yep. And that's a kind of level of writing that you get. And these are people throughout. End of combo. These are people who within the last four hours have watched four of their friends be murdered in front of them. And they don't care about one.

They only cared about Tashi. Toshi. Toshi and the wall, which is my favorite Indie Rock band. But they only cared about one. They only cared about Tashi? Toshi. Toshi and the wall, which is my favorite indie rock band. But after he dies, they're all having a meeting, and his picture's just on the computer. It was like clip art. It was just in the corner.

The computer, things of all the stuff they're looking at. And then his like ID picture, watching over. I mean, my favorite moment was in the grandfather dies and the daughter goes to get off the boat and the daughter's like, well, now I gotta tell my daughter immediately. She's like, yeah, just so you know, grandfather's dead.

Okay, let's go back. Like, here's go back. Here's my question. But the little girl didn't even have a reaction to it. None, no one, but I think everyone here is suffering from something because they don't react. The shark isn't a big deal. This is the biggest, craziest thing.

When they were getting in that tube, he's like, I'm afraid of getting the team. He's like, why? Fucking need to get the bite through this. And it's a shark that's like as big as a city bus that gets eaten by a shark that's as big as like, what, eight-centresses? And everyone's just kind of big-rate-

It would be right. I think it would be the same reaction if it was like an eight-foot shark. They're like, yeah. Okay, well, when they put, when they put the woman in the shark cage, right basically becomes a probiotic pill that the shark is trying to swallow. Yeah, down.

Now, it's like, why? Yes, of course. This is a shark proof thing for all of the sharks that we know about, right? Now, what we're up against though is a shark that is, you've already seen, exponentially larger, stronger, more dangerous, and she's like, I'm going to be fine. But do me this one favor,

as you're lowering me down into the depths to face this shark, make sure my daughter is on board, watching every moment of this. Why is her daughter there? Her daughter is there like, do do do do. She is not a good first of all. I have issues with that tank because the one thing they learned was don't put on the lights right?

The first team went down the lights, fucking make this shark angry. First thing that that tube goes down, boom, boom, boom, boom, three lights, like, all right. Okay, and then her big plan was to have a laser pointer gun and shoot that into the shark's eyes. Out of the smallest hole in America, it was so tiny, and she misses, she went, oh no. She misses one.

And it nails it the second time. It took more arrows to hit the single missing scale of Smalg. Then it does to get this shark right in the soft spot. But also, also, the logic, the entirety of the logic of them being out there on the boat and trying to shoot a tranquil... No, first, before this is tranquilizer, it's the tracker device. So they're like, okay, the shark is like 100 yards out there just swimming back and forth. And they go, okay, let's drive the boat over there and shoot the tracker device. And the guys like, no, he's already shown aggression towards boats.

So we can't do that. Yeah, and they're like, okay, well then obviously one of us has to swim out there. Yeah. And they're like, okay, I guess I'll go. It makes no sense whatsoever. But there's some jumps in that water. Like, he, like, I think he has a death wish because for him, like, he had any given points,

like, fuck it, like going in. And then I realized they think part of the reason is because Jason Statham was a Olympic diver. And this is him competing. You can see really, yeah, here he is. This is some classic Stethan footage here we go England's Jason Stethan Forward two and a half semisol with one twist two point eight. Oh, yeah, look at that

I'm too much forward, travel on that guy, on the left, Beverly Boys. Pretty big splash when you lift the glass. Yeah, like a half position. Wait, do splashes? His forward three and a half summer solo with Chuck. Where is the diver's? I was on Davington. He's good, I mean, look. Okay.

I mean, it's okay. But I mean, yeah, he's always jumping in in a moment's notice to get that truck. And when he comes out, what did that guy say? I wrote it down. It was like, he goes, you might be a son of a bitch, but you're no coward. Yeah, and then laughed. Yeah, you're gonna go wink and laugh. By the way, just before I forget, can I add Nancy Travis and Mary Elizabeth Mastron Antonio? Yes, ladies and gentlemen.

Mary Elizabeth Mastron Antonio is everything. Yes, everything for me. Um. Uh. Uh. Oh, um. I really like that they made Jason stay with them. A beer drunk? Like he's like, oh, he drinks beer all the time,

because he has a real beer bot. You know, uh, yeah. And he looked really comfortable holding that beer through the whole scene. I also like that he had some breezy cool lots on it. And like a fun vacay hat. And I love that he's like, you'll never get me bucking the walk-tun.

They're like, put it your ex-wife and he's like, suiting up. He's like, all right. But the best part about when they convince him to come back in for his ex-wife was like, look what just happened. And they take out an iPhone. And they put, like, the voice message feature. And he has played audio recording of her going, oh my god, oh, like, no, like, no.

Right, it was so, like, they hadn't cast the actor yet. Or something. Show him some fucking footage, give him something, just don't play it, yeah. It was weird, that's a whole reason he comes is to save her, and then he saves her, and she disappears from the movie. Not a part of it.

He starts a romantic storyline with someone else. Yeah, he's romantic. They don't even kiss. No, they don't. Like the little girl knew what was up, and I was like, help them out. Show them to a room. Yeah.

But then they got to a meeting late just the two of them, so I was like, maybe they did fuck. I don't know. I said most of the movie being like, who's fucking? Do you think that the bride and groom on the ship, those great side characters, are they fucking this? No, because that woman kept being like, you're real and I'm waiting!

And then that dog was on a power trip, that dog! Pippin, tippin. The boat, and then, it's just swimming towards the shark, and then they thought it was important to get a close up of this dog swimming. And to show that he was alive at the end. Why were those people jumping off the boat? Like, they seem that they were part of the wedding? It was like as soon as they took the picture, it was time to jump into the water.

That tradition. But the bride was upset that they were jumping in the water. Because she wanted more pictures, they were ruining her the water. Right. Because she wanted more pictures. They were ruining her wedding. I guess you know brides. Yeah, brides, no. Oh, no. Oh, man.

I don't. Oh. Oh. Oh. I'm sorry, man. What is with, oh. Buddy, what's the fucking joke? Oh, no. Buddy, look at what's a fucking joke! Oh no! Oh no!

Some day I'm gonna be on a yacht getting married, the dog's gonna go in the water and we're all gonna get eaten by a megalodon. Did you like Jason Statham's swimming song? Swimming, swimming, I'm swimming in the water. What? Oh, I thought he was the water. What's that from? Oh, I thought he was singing the Finding Nemo. Oh. And I was like, they're gonna get sued.

Disney's not done. Did not realize that. Yes, just keep swimming, just keep swimming. Oh. And I said, you didn't hear this when I said it out loud. They're gonna get sued. You didn't hear that? I just, I guess that's what you talked about.

I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's what you talked about. I guess that's how I'm going to talk louder in movies. Please don't take that as evidence. Nope, I gotta speak louder. Please boost your volume. No, I gotta stand up and state my cause. You know the mistake you made was sitting so far front,

you know, if you sit further back, you'll carry over the audience. Ah! You know, like, you were yelling straight to the screen. You're right, I should just lean back. Or just bring some sort of mobile mic and amp and just like, boom, buy a thing. I bring my karaoke machine, I'll set it up. Everybody else set here.

They're gonna get sued. Who's fucking? You've watched a special ArcLive presentation with a cold fire. By the way, I would go to movies, specifically knowing that you were in that screening with a speaker just talking the whole time My

My roommate You know some some some screening Some screenings at the art slide are like 21 and over or the filmmaker will be present I would like it if there's a little aster It's gonna just a Nicole buyer will be Will be shouting during this movie Nicole buyer will be trying to figure out who is fucking It is a weird program whatever movies you want shame

Who's fucking who's fucking but I do feel like it would be fun because it would be when you would actually go see a movie So it could be a five o'clock screening. It could be a Sunday screening. It would just be you have to catch it at random. Like it's not yeah. I truly, I can't believe you didn't hear me. I talked through the whole movie. There were so many moments where I went, Eeeh, eeeh, eeeh, eeeh. And my roommate kept going, eeeh, eeeh, eeeh. Oh, that sounds silly. I wish I had.

I wish I had, I wish I had, if I had known, we could have had so much more fun together. We could have, we could have just been giggling and terrorized everybody. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. These turds over here were there. I, I, I felt like, and it's no fault of the actors.

I'm sure I was doing a good, but it is, that whole movie was the best takes they got. Well, this is like, here. This is like what I thought. Before you shoot a scene as an actor, they have people come in their stand-ins and they just kind of like walk through the lines just to get camera blocking and stuff.

It's a real paste thing. So you'd be like, yeah, you know, pretty stark shark. Just killed our friends. Okay, great, we got that. Yeah, that camera go here great. And I be like, yeah, you know pre-stork shark just killed our friends. Okay great We got that yeah that the camera go here great And I felt like this movie if you tell me oh yeah all those people were stand-ins and this before the real actors came to say back Yeah, I might yeah, they cut together the stand-in Yeah, this is the whole movie because it just everything seemed so Blasey there is no energy and and I when the movie starts like rain Wilson God bless because he gets off that ship

And he's like I'm giving it. I'm like talking in Chinese. I'm doing bits of slowly has less energy Shot in order, but they also Like punctured his character with all these weird moves So you couldn't figure out who he was or what he wanted or what he was doing Just make him an asshole rich guy like right along the ride, make him like Mark Cuban or somebody. And, but yet they like, not the Mark Cuban's ass, I love him, sharks, let's shark tank shark. That would have been great. It's all together. But, but I feel like, yeah, and he makes...

Ooh, Paul, I just got a text from Mark Cuban. Oh, shit. If he is not, if he is not getting in nice... I just got a text from Mark Cuban. Oh, yeah. If he is not getting in the nice... He's really upset about what you said about him. He is invested 25% and my 150 frozen yogurt flavored machine that I have at all movie theaters, and if this is not goes through Jason, I am in trouble. Oh, hang on.

Barbara Corcoran just texted me. Should I take it? She said if Cuban's out, she's in... Oh, hang on, Barbara Corcoran just texted me. Should I take it, should I take it? If she said if Cuban's out, she's in. If Marcus Lomonas comes into the last second, I'm going with Marcus. Paul, Marcus Lomonas just texted me. From the profit?

Yeah, oh yeah. He said if Barbara doesn't work out, and if Cuban's out, for 100% control over your business. Got it. He will give you $200,000, and he will make all of your familial troubles smooth over. But he is 100% in charge. He is.

All right. I'm going to agree to this, and then forget that I agreed to this exact thing and question everything that he does. Guys, this is some profit humor. It's one of the best shows I've ever seen. The profit, if you're not watching it, what the hell are you doing? Guys! Guys!

Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! It's a weird zone for Rainwellson to be in because when he goes evil at the end, he hasn't built up enough equity to be a villain that you care about.

Yeah, no, it's not really villainous in his goals. I can't. He just wants a shark to, at the end he becomes bond villain. I was like, get me a shark tooth from my desk. Yeah, and you get one too. It's like, all right. I was confused because he was like, let's drop this dynamite and kill all of these people, but then they didn't. They dropped it on the shark, right?

Yeah. What I thought of it. And it ended up being a whale. I don't know. It was gonna kill all the people. It was confusing because I thought he was gonna kill the people, but then I was like, oh no, he gonna kill that shark.

So nobody can sue him from being murdered by the shark, but I'm like, they dead. And by the way, is it by the shark, but I'm like they dead. Right. And by the way, isn't killing the shark a good thing? Right. That's what they're trying to do for the whole movie. Yes. And he just had a better plan to kill it instead of...

I have a question about this section of the movie. At this point, I went to the bathroom. Where did they get missiles from? Yeah. What missiles? They're part of their plan. Right. Is that when they bring the little yellow scooters underwater.

So they're the same planes from Phantom Menace. And this woman, each of them has a missile on the edge of their thing. That they're like going to shoot at the shark. Where did they get a missile from? Okay, but they don't use them. She does but it misses and then Jason Stathens He like hit it on a rock or something so it got locked and then he couldn't use it Yeah, why even have them? He killed it by cutting it. It's bell. Yes And then that shark decided to go to the surface so he could stab it in the eye. You didn't hear me go, what? What?

I literally screamed that. I don't want to tell you that I didn't hear you say anything. I did certainly. But I couldn't make out exactly what you. Wow, okay, yes. Was it the stabbing in the eye that killed it? Is that what we're looking for? I guess I can shove that pole so deep into the eye

that it went into its brain. That makes sense. No way. No way. That shark could live for another 200 years. Absolutely. Where that thing stuck in its eye. Right.

It's brain is like 40 yards in. Yes, and also, probably the size of a middle school. Yes. With Marcus Lamanis inside of a making fun of back up. But I would love it if half of the movie, here's what I wanted. I wanted the shark to swallow the woman in the cage. Yes. He has to go into the shark.

Pinocchio style. Yes. Yeah. To rescue her, you know, yeah. Isn't his name is Jonas, which is Jonah and the way all right? So get the fucking that shark asshole by by the way So the original ending of the movie was or I guess in the book Jonas there's a book oh

Yeah, this is a novel. This is a... 100 books. Is it called The Mag? Not interesting. Oh, wow. What is it? A young adult book? No, it is not a young.

It's a young adult book in which the shark has cancer, but falls in love for the first time. That's what I wanted to see. By the way, I'm pretty sure there's a Peter Benchley follow up to jaws called The Mag, but this is based on a novel by Steve Alton And it says here that the end of the book was Jonas Kills Meg by diving down into its throat and into its belly and then ripping its heart out from within and Then what happens is the Meg gives birth

to three baby Megs, one of them survives. Great. I mean, that's a way better. That's a way better. Why do you like a kush, like a, a, a, a, a, a, a, an eye stack? And even if you do do that, still get, why not do all of that anyway?

You know what I mean? You could have, because there are spoiler alert, two giant sharks in this movie. Do one to one and one to the other. Come on. Oh, guys. I want to get in these sharks. By the way, I'm looking at some information here.

When I said the George Clooney was attached, that was back in 1997. Oh, wow. When the movie was first, when the rights of the book were first bought, got in 1997? This has been going on since 1997? 1997 Disney Walt Disney Company bought the book rights after it was published for $1 million. And it went into the turn around.

What are we doing? What are we doing with our lives? It went into turn around because they didn't think it could succeed after Deep Blue Sea. Another movie featured on this podcast. So, Deep Blue Sea, like they had to wait from 97 to 9. Wait, is it still owned by Disney? No, it went to somewhere they gave it to somebody else. Wow. Yeah. For free.

Free. By the way, this movie made like $40 some odd million. Well, it is like, it's like, it's success. Right now the budget is 130 million. That's the budget. And the worldwide gross as of today is $213 million. That's insane. It made, it made $45 million in opening weekend.

It's already made $60 million here. It is, in China, I bet it's doing very well. Well, I mean, that's the thing. This movie is made, this is like, we're watching a Chinese imported movie. I think China's been seeing a lot of American imported movies. We're watching a Chinese imported movie, I feel like. So there's gonna be a C-hole,

it'd be like the Megan. Those kids are coming out of that super highway. What did they say? It's just like Meg Ryan just coming up from under the water But doing the own the the O scene from Harry mitzahli the shark is having and then and then Billy crystals in the movie as well and it's the two of them It's the sequel to when Harry mitzahli and the sequel to this. I love it.

Combine the franchise. I think, by the way, when they said, I wrote down my favorite lines as we were going through, it was like, are you telling me that we created a super highway for giant sharks? Another one. I did not understand what the fuck they were talking about when they talked about the...

Okay, I think I got it. So like, there was like a part of the ocean that was like too cold and like also like too hot at the same time. So then a barrier broke between the cold and the hot and then I guess the shark was like, oh shit, there's a hole. And then the shark was like,

ah, okay. And then that's how the shark got up. But I think it was caused by the ship going up there. But it was provided a pathway. Yes. It was a super highway. Yeah, you know how in the water, there's just something that keeps you down.

Yeah, that's right. You take it back out, you're like, I can't get out! But my question about that was when they went into that special undersea water, I thought it would be like a really beautiful like whoa Can you believe what you're seeing and it just looked like the bottom of the ocean? Yeah, and it was like I would rather like in the fish eating another fish And I was like looks normal to me. Yeah, and there was one part where they go down and you see a fish But it immediately turns away and I was like, but normal to me. Yeah. And there was one part where they go down, and you see a fish, but it immediately turns away. And I was like, but that's a closeup.

Why did the fish go get it? But you know what I loved? I loved, and here's what I was like, yes, if this is the movie, I'm 100% on board. Giant squid attacked her, her, her, her, her little hover card, her whatever it is. Her go card. Skipper, what's it called? A go card. Her go card, her little other card or whatever it is. Her go card. Skipper, what's it called?

Her go card. Her go card, her underwater go card. And I was like, cool, this is what I want. I want everything down. I want it to be underwater kaiju fight. Like, yes, right, but that's my image. And then the shirt comes and takes the squid. And there's no reaction from anyone.

There isn't even like a big hand. A big hand. Oh, it happens. It's so much so that there is so little people have no reactions and no accountability, right? When she's in her thing going down and she's going to rescue the people, but then it goes awry He has to rescue her right and then rescue them now and because she's insistent on it now Toshi dies right yes, boy alert, and she's like you killed Toshi and it's like if he hadn't had to rescue you

Everybody would be alive right now, but she kept making it such that he kept having to go after her If I was like you have to have personal accountability guys Everybody would be alive right now, but she kept making it such that he kept having to go after her. I was like, you have to have personal accountability guys. Yeah. What are we doing here? Otherwise, Toshi would be alive. I feel like the most, like, reaction you got was from the man with the scraggly hair who was like,

that shocked my friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe he was called the wall. But that guy's fantastic. He's great. He's done Maria Bamford show. You know, he plays her husband on the show. And I love that guy.

I was like, oh, you killed off the arguably the best and most interesting, like, member of this team that I could discern what the personality was. Ruby Rose Rose look cool But I don't know what she what a bill. I don't do with it She served no one served the purpose. They're all making these plans that seem pretty like all right We'll do this. Yeah, you may go back to oh sorry No, I was just gonna say at the end it seemed like she was a hacker but I Did seem like a hacker, but then she built that the shark tank thing that went down She was very confusing in her hair, but I don't think. She did seem like a hacker, but then she built that, the shark tank thing that went down. She was very confusing in her hair.

But um, Toe she, that was his name, right? Toe she, when he wrote that letter, I was like, what's your plan? You're in water. Yeah. It's paper. Right. Nobody will read it. No one seems to have an idea that they were dragged into a water-based job.

Here's the thing, right? Everyone's like, why am I here? And they all, it really is, there is the deck, the main hub of the thing, right? And where the, what's it called? Manna one? Yeah, Manna one. They're all there, right? And where the what's it called? Man a one yeah, okay, they're all there right? But the whole room is full of people who have completely different skill sets like so there is Ruby Rose who's like check it a clack it a clack it on the hacker. There's the guy who's like I'm driving the rover

There's a doctor Who's just there on the deck of the in the in the in the main Yeah, he wouldn't be there all like it might as well be like and here's the chef who's gonna be yeah later We get cooking dinner like Everybody this would not lay out like it's a bad improv say like everyone get in here Yeah, this shark research facility needs to step up its gears. Well, as the doctor aboard this ship, I think we need to. On the janitor.

Wait, did the doctor interview Jason Statham in that video? Was that the doctor? Yeah, the high-angle video. But just like what? Yeah. Well, because he was on that submarine that exploded in the first scene. Oh, yes. I mean, come on.

And by the way, does it bring him for that death? submarine that exploded in the first scene. Oh, yes. I mean, come on. And by the way, is it clearing him for that death? Is it like, that fucking submarine blew up? And they're like, They saved you. Yeah. It made no sense. And they basically were accusing Statham

of having like, deep sea madness. From the abyss. Not basically, I think they said it. They were like, oh, he's got deep sea madness. Yes. What? Did they planted it at the beginning of the movie? So I'm like, oh, he's got deep sea madness. Yes. What? Did they planted it at the beginning of the movie? So I'm like, oh, later on in the movie,

someone's going to get it and try to get it, but no. Remember when the two helicopters flew into each other? Yes. Yes. No, no. Suddenly, at a point in the movie, the sky's full of helicopter. Yeah. By the way, all I wanted to see in that sequence

was that fucking negative come out and eat that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like eat that helicopter. How do you not- The helicopter. How do you not do that? I don't know. But when the helicopters collided, I was like,

OK, there's something. I said, like, I wrote down a note at one point. I was like, this movie should be called Stay Away from Tension Wires. Because the entire movie was like, oh shit, it's like, Tension Wires were much more dangerous than any shark. You know, it was like,

they were all being hit by debris. That was it, even that helicopter. They were like, oh fuck. And I think maybe three times, the shark is somehow entangled in something. So when it's about to hit something, or eat something, it stops right at the last second and gets pulled back.

Like, a few times. Yeah. Like, I'm sorry. April in mind to be a lot of the little mermaid. Yeah. When they're trying to escape the shark, and that shark's stupid too, and then it like gets caught in that little thing.

But like, I felt like that when it got caught in Jason's day, then it was just floating in front of it being like, wow. And then this dead lady on his arm, like she was dead. Yeah. Yeah. There's no way. A bitch.

Be a bitch. That's another thing. Survive that. Let's go into the audience and see what you guys have to say about this movie. All right. Sir, your name, give me your most blase reading of, oh look, there's a giant prehistoric shark.

Anyway, you can phrase it in any way you want. My name's Ren. Oh, there's a giant shark. Good, that was pretty good. That was about- I don't know, that was too much feeling. You were sad about it. All right, your question.

So when this movie was in turn around back in the 90s, when Disney acquired it, at one point, Guillermo del Toro was attached to the movie as a producer, and he may have ended up directing it. So if the Fishman, from the shape of water was in this movie, would this meat or exceed your expectations from what you saw? If the Fishman wasn't this, wouldn't that have

been amazing if in the last scene, like the post-credits scene, like the mag met up with the Fishman and they were like, buddies? And he goes, I've changed you well. Now, we go to New York. Yeah, and then the Fishman was like, Hey, dude, smell my fingers.

Right? Right. Sir. Right. Did Meg, did, did, wait, because I think this is when I was dropping a hot juice in the bathroom with the arc like, did Rain Wilson get killed? What? Yes.

Yes. That's what I missed. What did you miss the part where they dropped so much explosive on the whale that it blew up and got all that guy's face instead of that? He was in a helicopter and he got wet. Yeah, I saw them in the helicopter and he's got the boat and nobody notices. So then he climbs on the whale and then the Meg takes a bite next to him and he's like, fugh! And then it eats him but leaves his hand.

Did anyone else catch that? The hand was still there! It's wild! I think the hand will be in the sequel. I also have an issue with a movie like this where Meg is eating one person at a time. Like, why go back for the one it makes no difference it would be like as if like we were just singling out individual

aunt to eat yes I was gonna say a piece of pirate's booty like I open a bag and I just take one and then I seal up the bag and I put it back away. I was gonna say it French fry. Oh, that's good, I guess. I was gonna say a scandal. All right, great. Man, more you gonna say that. But like when the Meg is chasing Pippin' the dog, I was like, this dog is not on this shark's radar.

Yeah, this shark is too big to notice this small, because the Meg's mouth, when the Meg's mouth opens up. It's like it's like a whale in getting plankton you know or something. It is exactly. Anyway. Yeah. And the size of the shark was a little inconsistent here. Yeah, it was so inconsistent. It was very confusing but then I was like, well things do look different in the water. So I was like, it's okay. And I'm sure they were taking that into account. Well, the wife is attention to detail after it ate all those people and at the beach, you could see some of their like, bathing suits in his teeth.

You didn't know that? Yeah, that was great. Oh, I didn't see that. You didn't hear me saying, oh, look at the detail. What would you say, Nicole? Would you say it's fairly like 65% of things that you call out are set deck, right? You know, I like that. Well, yes, I like set decoration and fucking.

Those are the two things I want to see in a movie. By the way, the kid that this movie needs to, the sequel needs to be about that kid who gets his life saved the ice cream pop eating kid. Wait a minute, that kid. Love that kid. Why were those cluster of people trapped together? Don't get out. And also, hey kid, get rid of your fucking popsicles.

Oh, I'm sorry. That was a commitment to being fat. I identified with that. I was like, I wouldn't drop it either. I was like at this point, the popsicles been in the water. Well, kids, that's a salty treat. It's salty sweet. That's a commitment to being fat.

He's like, well, if I'm a dime a die happy, and like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. That's how I'm going out. Well, like, I don't know what to do. I'm like, three dozen people are a mile and a half out as if they're stuck together, and he's like, oh. mile and a half out as if they're stuck together and he's like, oh! Oh! Man, your uninsused response to a shark in your question.

So it's a shark. Great. Okay, so my question is they claim that this is the first time anyone's gone below this hyper cold layer. So why is Jason Statham, the supposed expert who's already had PTSD from this shark, but there's no explanation as how he got below the layer or how he met this shark to begin.

What is his origin story with the shark? You guys never talked about this. Oh, it's the, it's the, hey, that's good. Hey, lady, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey's that, it's the, hey, that's good. Hey lady. This, hey, hey. Wow. Listen, listen, hey lady. Just to give you a visual picture, she was gesticulating with a glass of wine the entire time. OK, OK.

Now it makes sense. Hey lady, don't yell at us. First of all, don't yell at us. Second of all, it's in that first scene. I don't think they're below that layer, but like... I think it cracked that layer. Like, I think the ship ran aground in that layer. That's what I think.

Got it. Here's what I will say. Not this is, there is an episode of Blue Planet 2. Uh-huh. Wherein, there is a kind of salt water that has a higher saline density than regular salt water that that some sort of animal in the ocean just secrete or whatever that salt water because it's higher in saline sinks to the bottom of the ocean so at the

bottom of the ocean there is a lake of heavier water. No it's just heavy water and they go it's so it's like this. And there is an ecosystem within that thing that is unto itself unique. And it's awesome. It's more interesting than this. You shit nerds. But yeah. I do want to address one of the things

that the the wine lady said, which is, correct me if I'm wrong he doesn't know the shark right no he said it was something and then they called him crazy and they said they had deep seaside coasts because he's it hitting the and the submarine but the submarine still did blow up so it seems like they're all there too and so they can all hear something hitting the whole of Yeah, it doesn't make sense that they think he's crazy. Yeah, because everything happened Yeah, it could have been so it would have been so easy survivor Yes exactly. It's what it's about. Yes, it would have been so easy to have set him up as

Someone who's lost his mind someone who is believing a fit. Quint what exactly? But no, they have ample evidence to the contrary, but people are still like, he's got deep-sea madness. Yeah. This dude literally saved your life. And it didn't need to have anything to do with the Meg, either. It could have been a completely different event that scarred him and made him kind of-

Oster-sized, or what? Because I think one of the fun things about like, Jaws or great films like Prana 3D is that, yeah, yeah, yeah, keep going, keep going. Is that that opening scene is somewhat fun and off the main story of the movie? It's like, it's, oh, we're getting to see this creature. It's a scary moment.

And that scene was a lot of exposition. It was not fun. It was not fun and lot of exposition. It was not fun. It was not fun and it wasn't scary. Not visually interesting. Yeah, it was none of those things. And it was like boom, we're in. Oh, OK, great. That's why I felt.

Ma'am, your uninfused response to a shark in your question. Hey, y'all, shark. Great. So my question is about that little girl because one of the first times we see her is when her mom leaves the conference room walks into the hallway. She's got yes! I'm going over everything. No one is watching her. The second time after mom has gone to do her failed rescue, Jason Statham ends up in a

submersible and this little girl is in the pilot chair of something that probably costs millions of dollars. My question to you guys is like, why was no one watching this child? I will say I believed from the father to the daughter to the granddaughter Everyone is a terrible parent in this movie. Well, there's no child care. Yeah, there's no child care on that boat at all The girl doesn't appear to be in school. No, and she doesn't have a room. Like, she was just there. I was like, that's her bedroom. By the way, Jay, Staphim's ex-wife is recovering, and then she's like, I gotta play cards with this girl.

Okay, fine. Also, I don't know if you noticed, but in the last scene, the little girl had a barrette that said love, and it was upside down. I was like, just part her hair in a different fucking way. I was like, what's going on? How do you do that? Why, you all? What's going on? Also, the mother, the main scientist daughter

who's the mother of the child, this woman here, dies in the movie. She dies, is dead. And then they're like, boom, boom, boom, boom. And she's like, OK, I'm ready to bail, I'm back, I'm back. Right, and there is no representation. By the way, I may fall asleep during that point. There was a moment in the beginning of the movie,

I was like, boom. And then I really perked up, I don't remember that. Oh, she, yeah, in the shark tank. She's very dying. You know, when they were her mask breaks. Oh, that's not that okay. She passes away. And then she went, oh, and they were like,

be careful, you were dead a minute ago. And then she's like, can I talk to Jonas alone? And I was like, oh, there's a fuck. Like, just a sad hell. I was like, she woke up from death. Yes, warning. That's like, I've been to the other side. I need that dick.

Right? Yes, and then they didn't. There was so many times they could have fucked like when she went in and he was shirtless and she's like, you're naked. And it was like, yeah, fuck him. So I can do something. Just like, she just keeps looking.

Yeah, she just keeps looking. And then when she looked back, I didn't buy it. I was like, what are you doing? I'm taking a shower. She just keeps looking. She just keeps looking like little. She just keeps looking like little. When she looked back, I didn't buy it. I was like, what are you doing? I'm taking it. Take it, towel. Get your clothes off. Get your clothes off.

Get your clothes off. Let's go. Get your clothes off. Let's go. Get your clothes off. Get your clothes off. Get your clothes off. Get your clothes off.

Get your clothes off. Get your clothes off. Get your clothes off. Get your clothes off. Get your clothes off. Get your clothes off. Get your clothes off. Get your clothes off. Get your clothes off. Get your clothes off. We gotta write the sequel. People who control the Meg, please let Nicole and I write the sequel, it will be ex-rated. There will be penetrative sex between humans and the fish. I want people fucking on the Meg. Yeah.

I'm through the ocean. Oh yeah. I got a fucking it's mouth. I got a fucking it's mouth. Yeah. How great would that have been if they get In the belly of the beast I guess we should They're just like just as they're both coming together because they're in love

The shark vomits them out into the air Well, just as they're both coming together because they're in love, the shark vomits them out into the air, where the daughter on a boat is watching us. Yeah! And she's like, Yeah! It's like free willy, it's free willy. Yeah! I... We got it. We got it. How it?

Guys, that's how easy it is. International box office achieved. You know what bothered me about the movie in general was it had the same problem like jaws eats people people right? Jaws goes after like a Swimmer or whatever Jaws acts like a shark a shark that is like that is size appropriate right? It's chasing people singular right the Meg should be it size should dictate that it doesn't just individually Pick people off. It should be picking whole groups of people. I would argue it's harder for

the megged to individually pick people off because the mouth is so big. It almost seems like you're like you said you're always going to be getting extra in there. It's yeah it's that. It should have like eaten half a boat with one bite. It should have gone through that beach and just swallowed up like 40 people. Yes! This shark is the equivalent of the Tostito scoop chip versus the regular Tostito chip. It's like, wait, break that down for me. Because when you put the scoop in, you're walking in the air.

You're walking in the air. Oh, I see. I see. I see. I think this is like a scoop chip, the size of a bowl. Right? I am right.

And that's the opening scene of your movie where they fuck. Yes! Close up on. They're just scooping out their vaginas. Ma'am, you're a reaction to a shark in your question. Oh shit, shark. So I actually, I thought the movie by myself. And I just had to...

Hold on a second. How many of you stopped by yourself? I did. All right. All right. That's it. No, yeah. That's good. It sounds like you're upset by that. No, no. Are you upset? You're upset by yourself? No, I'm confident about it, but I heard something that I felt like I needed to share. So you know the little Chubby Kid with the mic, or with the... Yeah, yeah.

So he's like running into the, into the like water with his little thing, and the guy next to me, like, leans over to his girlfriend and he's like hey, that's to you Wait, wait, hey, that's you You're telling me you're telling me Wait, so you're telling me that that guy said hey hey, that's you. So the woman that he was with, right? Right, right, and they are successfully in love. I don't know about that. I don't think it is.

What brought am I living in? I'm on his side. I'm on his side. He's the crazy. He's tearing everything. I'm just pretty single. I can rationalize anything a man says. I would get it if he goes, hey, that's you.

And I'm the popsicle. That is... They're like, okay, they're cute together. I get that. Oh my God. Also, did you notice that when... Okay, when Statham cuts the shark from tail to tip, open, and then stabs it in the eye, blah, blah, blah.

There is a swell of heroic music that comes up, right? But it's not for him, it's for all the sharks that are coming to eat the man. Yeah. So all these like true terrifying killer sharks come and feast on the mag and the music is up. Like, hooray, the mag's getting it to do. But whatever, this is really just like a hue, they should bomb that. Right, get all the sharks.

Get all those sharks. Yeah. And we gotta get rid of that. That delicious shark fin the sharp sharp. Yeah, and we get rid of that delicious shark fin suit Give me that shark fin suit boner It is now time for second opinions Give it five stars Give it five stars that shark was vicious and white truce delicious, so give it five stars It took a full hour too long enough for me to write the song you got to love it. Jaws can shove it give it five stars

Give it up for Caitlin that was amazing Caitlin walking away with the how-to-do-this-get-made fast and serious inspired poster with mr. Adam Scott on it right there as well It is now time Caitlin you lost you can't get down that way can you? Caitlin is now just wandering the stage I Would by the way I would love it for the rest of the show you just wandered Comes out behind Incapable of getting off stage All right here we go. It is now time for second opinions.

So when I saw this movie, I had my own opinion. I sat down and logged on and wrote my second opinion. I gave this song five stars. I wrote my second opinion. I love this giant fucking shark, make. Maybe. Here's a special design Jason Manzooka's poster. There you go, there you go.

Thank you so much. All right, well, Amazon didn't have many reviews of these films, but I found some here. This is from Rotten Tomatoes. This one starts off like this. Honestly, haven't seen it yet, but I'm giving it a preemptive five stars because I'm just that buck wild about the Meg.

Not so hot on the cast and crew are the marketing team at Warner Brothers. The crew? Not so hot on the crew? Yeah, but the bunch of the crew. There's a go-whole electrical department that's like, come on man, still haven't gotten any comp ticks for the film or anything like what I'm going to have to pay full price. What gives you the right?

I've been nothing but supported from day one. And now maybe I don't even want to see your shark film. Five stars though because the trailer was good and I liked that song by Bobby DARREN. Somewhere beyond the sea, there's a shark, LOL JK, five stars. Maybe that was large, cloning. Is that something that he was no longer involved?

What a wild review. Like, it is thoroughly through and through negative, except for the five stars. I didn't get comp tickets. I don't care for the cast, the crew, or the marketing of this movie. But then it goes on to be like, but the trailer was great. The trailer is marketing you shithead. I mean, look, Bobby DARREN I think is really pulling home that review that five hours.

By the way, Bobby DARREN, write that review. By the way, my favorite part of it, we're talking about songs. The tie version of Mickey, Yourself, Fine, is pretty great. Wow, yeah. But even that, to come back to it at the end. All right, Frederick D writes, and this one's not as funny as it is just off. The movie did not rely too heavily on CGI. And for those of you who compare this to JAWS, it's just as good because it has the same horror element, namely an unseen horror.

Really? I think the shark is all over this movie. You've got a really good look at it. Multiple times where the shots of the creature are limited for a time or until the moment they're immersed in the action attempting to kill it. And unlike Jon's, the manner in which they do kill it is more epic and more realistic.

Five stars. What? This guy, this girl, Brenda B. writes, it was an amazing movie. I love the detail the editors gave to create the megalodon. First of all, not the editors. And I'm obsessed with sharks. I love learning new things about them.

I just think it was, it's Shark Week. Yes. I need you to edit this movie. If you can, edit a shark into it. You know, cut the scenes together, take the take, so we get an understanding of the setting and the actors' takes, and then just insert a full shark into the edit.

This movie was a romantic comedy, and then the editors come in and do their magic. I love that they learned new things about sharks from watching this movie. I don't even know what you would learn, because this is not a creature that exists. I love learning new things, and I'm obsessed with Shark Week. So if Europe says it's Shark Week, in general, then I am absolutely certain that this will be the best movie that you will ever see. Five stars. That's Brenda B.

And I'll take it down to end on Lindsay M. who writes, fantastic. And I loved it. And Ruby Rose, phenomenal! The movie had amazing special effects and thrilling moments. I'll probably watch it again maybe even by it on Blu-ray. Spoiler alert, question mark, question mark. Rose doesn't die in the movie. I seriously was gonna straight up walk out if she didn't survive it. No joke.

Yes, I know it's a movie. Five stars. I like that enough people say to him, you know it's just a movie, that he has to preemptively say it in the review. You didn't kill Ruby Rose. Now if you question the movie's reality, here is, this is Mythbusters seeing what a Megalodon would do to a jet ski.

To a wreck. So the Mythbusters created a giant Megalrodon shark that they thought it would be. Wait, is this recent? Yes. Okay. Two, three. And they use its punching jaws to bite a jet ski. I see.

Okay. Is that like promotion for the movie? I don't know where that clip came from, but I know it's here. And I know that they're all Mally who got it. It's in your folder of things for the Meg. It's actually my jerk off folder. Oh yeah. Ooh, my dick's the jet ski.

Eat that jet ski, yeah. Oh, crunch down on my jet ski, Meg. Um, okay. Well, Jason, would you recommend this movie? crunch down on my jet ski mech. Okay. Well, Jason, would you recommend this movie? You know, here's what I'll say. I think this would have been more fun if I'd been with friends in a packed theater. I don't think I would not recommend it

like we saw it alone, or you saw it with a friend. I saw it alone. As did girl over here and some other folks. We saw it, you know, alone. No, and it's not as it's not as it's not as fun. So I would either see it with friends or go at a time where you think a lot of people might be there or wait until it's on iTunes or something, get friends to come over and watch it, then it would be fun. But otherwise, it's not so great you got to rush out and see it, you know, in an empty theater alone.

Nicole? I didn't get to see it the way I normally watch movies. Usually I'll bring in two bottles of some white wine and just by the middle. Be wild. I knew I had to come here so I didn't do that. and just by the middle. Ha, be wild. Ah! I knew I had to come here so I didn't do that. I appreciate this is the tone down. You still are enjoying it enough to comment on a lot of.

Oh, I talk through all movies. More or less. Two bottles of white wine just for you? Oh no, no, I share. So one for me, one for a friend. Great. And then if they don't drink it, I drink theirs. And are you pouring it into cups or are you

like just long straw? No, no, you gotta get some cups. You can't drink it, I drink theirs. And are you pouring it into cups or are you like just long straw? No, no, you gotta get some cups, you can't. You gotta, you can be a savage, you gotta be. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't realize the straw, the cups was the demarcating line between savage or not. You can't just be, you know,

I was thinking long straw. Oh, well, straws are banned in LA, right? Oh, that's right. We're not about to have straws. Which is so annoying because if you're drinking something with ice in it, sometimes the ice attacks your face. I bought straws. Can you straight up not get straws in restaurants anymore?

You have to ask. And then they might give you a paper straw. Don't like that paper straw. I'm not a paper straw. Guess what that is? Nothing. Nothing. Yeah.

By the way, I agree with you. I think I saw you said somewhere that I don't want to try your homemade ketchup restaurant. Yeah, I don't. Like any restaurant with their own homemade ketchup. I don't like it. No thanks. Yeah, I don't like homemade.

Fucking Hines, right? Yeah, all the way. Hines all day. Adam, do you recommend the right? Yeah, all the way. Hines all day. Adam, it's fun. Do you recommend the movie? Yeah, sure. I think I, I think I have the same, like I was by myself and I feel like there's so easily,

like there's, you could have made it so much better with like really easy things that wouldn't have cost more money or taken more time. Really easy things. So it's a little frustrating that it couldn't have been more money or taken more time. Yes. Really easy things. So it's a little frustrating that couldn't have been more fun, but it was all right. I think it walks that line of not just being fun, but I will say being in the theater, I also are recommending it. I think better as a home rental, but there was a moment where one of the characters says,

I came here to celebrate with you and now I'm mourning with you. And the entire audience started laughing. I was like, all right, we're all on the same page. And there is something about the theater experience and that arguably the most dramatic line in the entire movie. Yeah, I feel like if you went right now to like a prime time showing, it would be fun. Yes. You know, but otherwise less so.

Yeah, yeah. Go see it with friends. Nicole, what do you have going on? What do you want to tell us about? Oh, no. What do I have going on? Nailed it is streaming on Netflix. The best.

Oh, come on. The best. New episodes come out in December. I have a special coming out. I think at the beginning of next year, I don't have a date yet. That's also on Netflix. Netflix has been good to me.

I love that. That's it. Adam, what do you got? I did a shut big little lysis summer that'll be out next year. That's exciting. I'm excited for that. I love that first season. Yeah, yeah.

Season two is going to be real juicy. Ooh, excited. Jason. It's because in season two, you guys run a cold-press juicer, right? It is odd. It's just juicing the entire time. Yeah.

And it becomes a real ensemble work, a broad comedy. Yeah, yeah, it's very different season two. It's almost like that Kathy Bates weed shop show on Netflix. Yep. By the way, if you don't know about that, enjoy. Jason?

You know, Paul, I don't have anything to plug. Although I will, once again, now that the Chris Gether show has been canceled. Yes. I would like to implore our fans to find the show us your pets episode that exists, I believe, only on TrueTV's inane app. And you know, put it online somewhere where everybody else can watch it, maybe on like a porn site or something.

Let's like get it out there. I want people to see it. If you have not seen the episode of the show in which Paul and I try and guess what's in a dumpster, don't spoil it for your friends. It's great. I just watched it. It's so fucking fun. It's really funny. It's funny. I want people to see it. And if you think it should have been listed in the ringer, top 100 episodes of this century, please feel free to tweet at Chris Ryan at the ringer and tell him so.

And you might want to remind him that he's a fucking turd. I'd also like to recommend the Tilly Walden, is written a book called Spinning that is a fantastic book. It's a great graphic novel that is about her growing up. I would recommend everybody buy it. It's called Spinning. Go, yay.

I love that. I got two things I want to plug. One is I told Jason about this. If you if you like mission impossible especially Fallout which I am I did there is a seven hour podcast put into two parts with Christopher McCquarrie that deep dives into every aspect of the movie and it sounds like oh that's a slog I'm four hours in and I'm like can't't wait to hear more. Wow, it is. That movie was amazing. I was awesome.

I love that. And then I'll also say, be on the lookout. There's a new trailer out right now for Slice. I'm in the movie with Chancellor Aparin, Zazi Beats, and it is coming out sometime. But the trailer just dropped and let that mystery surround you. I can't say more, but there it is in the vicinity of maybe coming out. That's I love that as a date. Yes, check it out in the vicinity of when it's

coming out. Follow us on social media for clues. That's what I can say for clues. All right, thank you all for coming. A big thanks to April Halley, and we're both always together. Nick Kyleen, July up in the booth, Alec up in the booth. Thank you all for coming.

Give it up for a panel. Hello!