How Did This Get Made? - Re-Release: Anaconda LIVE! (w/ Michael Ian Black)

Episode Date: January 5, 2024

After Paul announces next week's new movie, enjoy a HDTGM classic as Michael Ian Black (Wet Hot American Summer) joins Paul, Jason, and June to break down the 1997 snake attack flick Anaconda. LIVE from The Bell House in Brooklyn, they discuss Jennifer Lopez's documentarian skills, Jon Voight talking like French Robert De Niro, whether the snake should've talked, and so much more. (Originally Released 01/08/2013) This March & April HDTGM is going on tour to the UK & Ireland! Go to hdtgm.com for tix and info.Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerCheck out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on Twitter

Happy New Year! People of Earth this week we are taking a holiday break. Yeah, we deserve it. From last looks and we are instead re-releasing a how to this get made classic episode. It's a real New Year's Eve film, you know, about a giant snake. Yeah, that's right. We are re-releasing Anaconda, but you know that because you already hit play. Now, even though there's no last looks, I want to make sure you still prep for our next movie. So next week we will be diving into the 2022 action fantasy film, The King's Daughter, starring Pierce Brosnan. This movie is weird. The King's Daughter was actually filmed in 2014 and shelved for almost seven years before it was released. The movie has

about a 21% score on Rotten Tomatoes and Claudia Pugue of KPCC Los Angeles writes a very colorful French bomb bond with no substance and it might just give you indigestion. You can stream the King's daughter for free on free V or you can rent it on Apple TV, Amazon, YouTube or Google Play. Also, if you have any corrections and omissions from our last episode on Dungeons & Dragons, don't worry because we will cover both Dungeons & Dragons and the King's daughter in our next last looks episode. You can still submit corrections and omissions on our discord

at discord.gg slash hdgtm or live as a voicemail by calling 619 Paul ask and remember London, Belfast, Ireland and Glasgow. We're coming for you in March. Go to hdgtm.com to find out more as well as our other live dates in Los Angeles and around the country. Alright, without any further ado, here is Anaconda. A few movies can say they have monkey guts, French John Voight, and a 40-foot-long fucking snake. This movie is one of them.

We saw Anaconda, so you know what that means. I know it's time for the world. I know it's for me, I know it's time for the world. You're the master of pain, I know you're the one that I know it's for me. You look swallow in the media, I'm a genius, I'm barrage. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question out of this in a way.O.C.S.F.R.R.D. I'm a rascal, fine, the answer to the question out of this LA. Hello, people of Earth!

Hello, people of Brooklyn! We're live here at the Bellhouse. I am Paul Sheer, and I am joined, as always, by my two co-hosts. Please welcome, June Diane Rayfield, and Jason Manzougas. We have a very... We have a very... We have a very... Screw you, Brooklyn! Ha ha ha! We have a very special guest today joining us to talk about Anaconda, the hilariously funny Michael E.M. Black!

Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Careful. You okay, babe? Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Careful. You okay, babe? Yeah, I just like to make an entrance.

For my people, the people of Brooklyn, New York, where I live. You are from Connecticut, correct? I was speaking very loosely when I said I live in Brooklyn. Yeah, really, let's say. Well, the year was 1997, and a little snake came out of the theater, and a condo. I've never seen this movie until right before this show. Holy shit. It's pretty fucking fantastic.

Yeah. And by fantastic, I mean, this fucking movie is horrible. They basically want you to go take everything you know about snakes. Forget that, and replace them with a bunch of bullshit about snakes. And keep to that. That's what we're doing. First of all, everything was totally accurate. No, I'm not a snake scientist. I'm a roach. First of all, everything was totally accurate. No, I am not a snake scientist.

I am a roguelist. So I know what? Herp-tollogist. But somebody who studies herpes. Boom! Nailed it. Boom! Boom!

I'm exhausted just from doing that. They make, and in the beginning of the movie, there's a crawl. Yes, that says, these snakes exist. They grow to be 40 feet, and then they say, and once in a while, they throw up the thing that they eat so that they can eat it again. Yes, and that was the line. It's like they just made that up because Anna-Con just don't kill people. I did that kind of research before the show.

I wanted to make sure I was free. Also, with that logic, you would assume that you could actually survive an Anaconda attack. Well, no, the ass of the stomach ass said. Oh, that's what kills you. I would imagine. I didn't do that much research, but. I mean, if you are being...

I mean, I think the reality is you could be alive in the Anaconda's stomach as it slowly digests you. Well, because John Void came out of that spoon. Wait, Spooner! Spooner! Spooner! Spooner! Do not rock the ending. What are you doing? Forget what you just heard, John Void may make it through the movie.

Did anybody else, and this is also vaguely spoilery, spend the entire movie waiting for John Voile to drop the accent and be like, my real name's Mike Smith. I'm from Chicago. I've been impersonating this other guy to make you guys trust me, even though I'm the least trustworthy person in America. Everybody knows that, especially Angelina Jolie, my daughter. He never does spoil it.

He never does. He's supposed to be for him. He's not sent is the best thing about this. Does he? He's from Uregue. He's a French Robert de Nero. Because he's got that like, he's always like, he's got this like permanent like, I'm a French guy,

I'm a French guy. He taught French to me. No, he's South America. He's South America. I'm not who he's French. He says he's from Uregue or something. Yes. Uregue by by way of knowledge.

Yeah, except that Marcel, who's the Marcel? What's the guy's name? Who's the boat captain? Mateo. Mateo. Mateo. Mateo, who I was assuming was also South American, says Meredith at one point, which is shit in French.

I thought he was playing French. I was like, what the fuck is happening? Who are these people? Where are they from? Mateo, by the way, looks like a cast member I was like, what the fuck is happening? Who are these people, where are they from? Mateo, by the way, looks like a cast member that showtime showed jiggleos. Well, I have terrible news. He, the actor who played Mateo

is a cast member of the TV show, Jiggleos. Mateo, and this is also spoiler alert, spends the film glistening. Yes. I do wanna talk about this opening. The opening of the movie has the same way that scream has drew Barrymore get killed at the beginning.

He was a kill, but it's not the main character. And the person that killed is Danny Trejo. But he was dubbed, right? Because Danny Trejo, that was not Danny Trejo's voice. Because it was like a light print. Does he say anything? He's like, oh, oh, oh. But Danny Trejo does not have that like. you think they dubbed, oh, oh, oh.

No, Jason, absolutely. His voice is five octaves higher. Yeah. And we met Danny Trejo on this show. He is for a while. He is deep. Well, what people don't know about Danny Trejo is he's also a castrato.

Oh, you see that? No, I didn't know about Danny Trejo is he's also a castrato. Oh, you see that now I didn't know that. No, I didn't know that. Spreadies, that is an apocryphal story. So, you know, we also learn, oh well whatever, I don't fucking care. I want to know what we learned, what did we learn? It's going to say what we learned later when Danny Treho is killed. I was gonna jump ahead, but I think he was setting up the move, so I was gonna let you set up the move.

I'll set up a move later. But that Danny Treho, Mateo, and John Void are all bros from back before. Because in his solo, weird place that the snake kills him, Treho has pinned up a newsprint clipping of the three of them together. Now, he's like, oh man, remember what I was in the newspaper? I'm gonna put that up. By the way, Jack filled with my own feces. Technically not a spoiler because they do pan across

that newspaper thing in the beginning. So you can kind of see, oh, these guys are into bad business. Until now, I didn't realize the third guy in that picture was Mateo. I had no idea. I didn't know that either, yeah. Until now, I didn't realize the third guy in that picture was Mateo. I had no idea. I didn't know that either.

It was. It was the third. Guys, how did you even like the movie then? Wait, so you're telling me that Mateo was in on the whole thing? Oh, no, no, not in on the whole thing. You guys didn't know that. But when Mateo, when John Voick comes on board, oh, wait, maybe Mateo is in on the whole thing.

Wait, of course he is. Of course he is. I knew that John Voick and on board, oh wait, maybe Mateo isn't on the whole thing either. We of course he is. Of course he is. I knew that John Void and Mateo were in it together. I didn't know that. Oh, yes. Cosmin, because when he gets on board, when he gets on board, Mateo's like, the guy doing a lot of like,

I think we both are telling people what. What I thought was happening, this is a classic, how did this get made logic argument? It's a sleep away camp all over again. Oh, yeah. I thought when they picked up John Void, Mateo knew him, but just they had didn't have a pre-existing, right?

That's what I thought, knew him from around town. I thought, and then the newsprint thing, I was like, oh, he definitely knows him, but I never made the connection. This is all part of a larger plan. Yeah. What's the fucking plan? To, the plan is to capture us in.

But Mateo has a boat. So why do they use the tables? Why do they use the tables? Right, why do they need these extra people to go upriver? They're going to sell the camera equipment to buy stuff? No. Like, here is equipment to buy stuff? No. Like, here is it just human bait?

Maybe. Could he kill the monkey for bait? That's a joke. That's not a big enough for the monkey bait. Guys, when the snake threw out the monkey, I wrote this down monkey vomit. But it doesn't just like, it like is like,

and the monkey's like, and hit somebody in the face. It's like one of those monkeys that you get at a novelty shop where you pull back their arms and you can shoot them. It flies out of that force. And at first, it's like, what did he throw up? Because it looks like a little baby. And then it's really, it's a little hairy monkey.

It's a fucking monkey. You guys, John Vlyte Mateo must have wanted to film the cap for the Americana. There's no other reason. No other reason. That's Mateo's point. They were like, we want to do this movie, John Void's in Bollin. John Void was like, you know what?

I will only do it if I can play a South American character. By the way, he killed it. I think he killed it. I'm sorry. You were wrong he's doing it quite well. He killed it. I think he killed it. I'm sorry. You are wrong. He did not kill it. No. He defyed.

Was literally horrible. I thought he was pretty good. Let's have, let's have, let's have. That might be the first literally of the night. If you're playing the How Did This Get Me Drinking Game, drink when I say literally. I will just, I will set up the movie, and then you can be

the judge of whether or not a John Floyd kills it. So the movie is actually, I find it very good because it lets you know like the characters that you know their profession a lot and their names. So it's like, hey Barry, I'm the DP. All right, and they basically is like, well I'm the cameraman, well, on the producer. Like, they just, they meet. It's about a documentary film crew. Jennifer Lopez is a big chance to be a great documentary filmmaker.

Ice Cube is her cameraman who we first meet him is looking through a lens. Wait a second. But he's using a video camera the rest of the movie. Can I say the most insane thing, which is that Cubs first line? Right? Who? Anybody go? It's going to be a good day, which is a nice Cubel Eric. Which was amazing.

I kept that at some point being waiting for him to use an AK. Well that's why he didn't bring the AK. Because it was a good day. He didn't even need to use an AK. He didn't even him to use an AK. Well, that's why he didn't bring the AK. Because it was a good day. It didn't even need to use an AK. It didn't even need to use an AK. I just about shipped my car. Oh, I was excited. I was excited.

I was like, that, and there was another one too. What's the other song lyric in this? Somebody? Anybody? Welcome home to Jungle. Yes! Yes! No, that's what it is.

Yes, Owen Wilson. You know where you are? You're in the middle of the jungle. Well, that's what it is. Yes, Owen Wilson, you know where you are? You're in the middle of the jungle. That's not close. That's pretty much... That's pretty close. That's pretty close. You're saying that, right?

It's pretty close. If he had said you're in the jungle baby, then we could have gone like, alright. It's so crazy that they spend so much time introducing these characters when there's no... there are no cuts in this movie to other locations or places. There's no way we could get confused. They all stay together on a giant raft. In a way I almost feel like this documentary crew is too big because Eric Rott, what's his

name? Shultz. Eric Stoltz, thank you. The original Martin Flaar. Eric Stoltz is in this movie. Yeah. Sort of. Eric Stoltz is kind of like, he's kind of the guy

who's doing the research, but then they got a guy in the front of the camera who's like the face. When? They got a different look. In the nature documentary, where the British guy who does the voiceover is in front of the camera. I don't, I feel like I never see that.

Richard Enbrose, is he in the middle of the shop being like, the giant snake finds its way. No! Did not do that. So they're basically on a houseboat going down the river to make a documentary about a tribe that doesn't exist. They bump in the John Void. That's about all the plot you need to know until the fact that a giant snake comes into it. Should we just, I just to kind of let you guys see what John Void does in this movie. This is a scene I think kind of sums up John Void here. Guys, try not to jerk off during this

because it's pretty fucking sexy. All right, here we go. Tell us this how that kind of skin It snakes up to this big this skin is three four years old Whatever shed it is grown since that But something like this has made a meal. Oh, they're captain. What? Snakes don't eat people. Oh, they don't?

And the condes are a perfect killing machine. They have heat sensors. The warm body like Mateos in the water wasn't hard to find. A strike, wrap around you, hold your tighter than your true love, and you get the privilege of hearing your bounce break before the power of the embrace causes your veins to explode. Asplode. He definitely just said asplode.

ESS, asplode. Asplode. He's not in Puerto Rican. I mean, that part doesn't come out until the sequel. He's not a Puerto Rican. I mean, that part doesn't come out until the sequel, but he was half Puerto Rican. There are three sequels to this movie. See, here's what you don't understand about. You're supposed to be movies.

Here's what you don't understand about his performance. He's actually, he's a crazy person in the movie, but who's also, as that character, leaning into his craziness, leaning into expressing his craziness. And I know you wanna pull him back. I ask you not to. I do, I wanna rain in the void.

See, I think that's an amazing performance. He killed it. You guys think it was easy? Because you guys think he killed it? It's easy. Do you guys think he didn't kill it? About 50-50, that's the kind of the thing that this movie can engender.

You guys are idiots. The snake, by the way, if you're familiar with the Universal Studios tour, looks less realistic than that giant jaws that jumps out at your tram. Like, it looks fake. Like it looks cheap and fake. Strongly disagree. I like that. I like that. Everything is basically like a comment section of a blog post. section of a blog post. Well, strongly disagree.

First snake ever. Paul, if you never spent any time, where does it work? On the Amazon. And if you'd ever actually come across the Anaconda, you would know that they sometimes look animatronic as a way to lure unsuspecting hipsters into a false sense of irony.

And that's when they stride. They're picture with that or something. Right. Now, Michael A. Black, do they also make those noises that this snake made in the movie? Yes. Do they, at certain points, say, whew! Oh, my God, that was terrifying.

I would have not have been surprised if that snake at the end of the movie was like, Hey, you man! Like, it was building to the snake talking. I felt, I felt that he made so much noise that he was gonna talk. It's partial tongue. You guys know partial tongue.

Yeah, so of course. Harry Potter would have known what was happening. They should have got Harry Potter on that boat. Oh, what's the next thing? Nagini. Nagini was in this movie. That's a deep-haired potter, Reverend. That's a deep-haired potter, Reverend. That's a deep-haired potter, Reverend. That's a deep-haired potter, Reverend. That's a deep-haired potter, Reverend.

That's a deep-haired potter, Reverend. Busted. What I like about this movie too is they did not run out of shots of the boat driving on the river. I would say... I would say... To establish, just in case you forgot, there's still on this same boat on this same river. I would argue that it might be the same shot all 35 times.

Well, I think they cut together the movie, the movie was 45 minutes long, and they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, what are we gonna do? They just put in a bunch of footage of the boat just on the river. More boat footage and more just John Void leering at people. Oh my God. Like, this is a cut-demon.

Ehh. Why would he ever trust this guy? He never came on as a genial like Happy Fellow. Guys, Owen Wilson is in this movie. I mean, we're like 20 minutes in. Have not talked about the fact that Owen Wilson is in this movie. He is build a lot of the times in the reviews I read 20 minutes in, have not talked about the fact that Owen Wilson is in this movie.

He is build a lot of the times in the reviews I read as comic read-a-leaf. I didn't see that element of his performance. Strongly disagree. Yeah. Did you like it when I think one of his opening lines is like, man, the jungle makes me so horny. Yes, yeah. That is in fact fact his opening line.

Is it me or does the jungle make you really horny? And then she said, come on, I'm trying to work. No, she then says it makes me horny. No, she says it's the jungle, I think. Oh, OK. But she's basically saying, yeah, I want to talk about it. By the way, we were talking about as Carrie were from old school remote control and Beastmaster, so she is just nervous.

She was the UPM, though, like the line producer, right? No, oh, oh, oh, oh. Wilson was sound. Yeah. Because she said at one point, she's like, oh, I got to produce this. Well, but here's the thing, but she does, she does go to get wild sound in the middle of the night. Yeah, well, with Ellen Wilson, and they talk throughout the entire time

getting wild sound. Also, guys, keep in mind, she did make a pretty nice salad. I don't remember that. That, I remember that. She makes, she goes, at one point, she goes, I made a salad. That produces like a kitchen grade,

so like a beautiful big salad. I was like, no fucking way you had all that. This is how you're on like a death trap in the middle of the fucking river. There's no way you made that salad. It is the most low-budget documentary. Like, and they're finding the people that was called the tribe of the mist.

It was like, it was so well, not well thought out. The first killing in real time happens in 44 minutes in when Mateo, before Mateo, poor, sweet, listening Mateo. Beautiful, beautiful dumb Mateo. Mateo gets killed or disappears. Like they're all within 20 feet of each other. And they all can see each other

and Matteo disappears. And they just assume he's lost. No one wants to admit that he was killed by this giant snake, which we've all seen at this point. Well, but they haven't seen it. They haven't seen it. Didn't they know it exists so at that point? Yeah, no, he didn't.

He didn't really tell him about it. They didn't really believe that the snake exists. They're like, oh, Matteo, it's like, oh, he went out to go get something. He's probably at the store. No, chances are he didn't see him anymore, he's dead. But no one admits that Mateo is dead. John Floyd, I feel like pretty quickly

sizes up the situation. Well, yes. Well, you know. He was in on it, apparently. Well, you gotta be good at it, Doc. You know, he's making his, he's filling his crossbow arrows full of reptile tranquilizer.

Well, wait, Jason, how did you know it was reptile tranquilizer? Well, Michael, I knew it was reptile tranquilizer because it was written in enormous letters on the clear glass bottle that he was taking it from. Uh. Hey, now, what's the difference between reptile tranquilizers and regular tranquilizers? Hey, you don't ask so many questions.

Okay. It's like, it tranquilizes the cold-blooded animals. There is literally a line in one point in this movie. Well, what are we doing again? We're going down this river, and we are going to find this thing. I think we're going to really check in with a line just to reset the plot.

I love when they're like, we got to get out of here blah, blah, blah. And John Foyle's like, no, we're going out to the snake. And Owen Wilson is like, yeah, guys, we gotta go after the snake because we gotta stick with him, blah, blah. And the entire time Owen Wilson is making this big speech, John Void is just loading guns behind him.

He loads like three separate weapons in the background. Just like, now meanwhile, John Void didn't come on the boat with these weapons. He jumped on the boat from another boat, tackling Owen Wilson. Somehow, Owen Wilson got on top in that situation, even though John Void jumped on him. But he came, weaponless, without any gear.

And he gets all the way. When he dies, Mateo couldn't have been, could not have been a part of it. Did it even, why? Mateo could not have been a part of the master plan. Wait a second. They changed direction and even- Why? Mateo could not have been a part of the master plan. Wait a second. They changed direction and they changed course after Mateo died.

Well that's what John- Well that's what John made- No but I think- Okay, if Mateo was alive they would have changed course. I think- But just think about it. Now that I think about it- But just think about it-

But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it-

But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- But just think about it- together we're gonna go to Danny Trejo. Because three of them are bros from the newspaper. And they had planned, well basically, like John Void kind of lures Owen Wilson,

he's like, we're gonna capture this snake. You'll be a millionaire, but they never seem to have like a plan on, like they run into the snake a ton of times. There's never really a trap until the end, but it seems like there's never a trap like. Well, I think the master plan was to get there. Oh, really? To get to that abandoned warehouse? Yeah. To tray hose warehouse or the big banded warehouse. Big warehouse at the end. Oh, all right. Did anybody else notice? Let me ask you this. Mateo,

where unclear where Mateo is from, right? But let's assume that you're gonna call someone chief in Spanish. What do you call them? Cafe, right? Does anybody know what Mateo calls everybody? Who he calls chief in this movie? Jeff A. Jeff A. I thought about this.

You did? I thought about this. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait So he's mocking him by calling him Jesse. I like that. I think it was a character choice. Ooh, I like that. They do treat Mateo pretty bad. Like, JLo first meets Mateo, and she's like, do you understand me? And he's like, yeah. Mateo has no problem with the English language

that we have seen. Like, he was never like, don't undo it. He was crystal clear ready to go. So I think maybe he wasn't on to teach you the Yankee's a lesson. I know it's more, we're a documentary filmmaker. J-Lo actively does not want to shoot real life moments that are happening in front of her.

And when they do shoot, they're getting a lot of people in the shot. They're not like, it's, they're shooting a movie. Oh, yes, that. And, and Kube is moving the camera a lot. He's like, like, left, right, left. It's like paranormal activity. It's like,

like it is, the footage, and by the way, it's a video camera. It is an old school like 1997. I bought it at Best Buy video camera. If you're saying that, I'm sorry, I have to, I have to disagree here. There's clearly a shot. Now, I don't know if you switched cameras.

I don't know what the fuck happened. Maybe he had a video camera on point, but there's clearly a shot where he's waiting through the river and he's got film canisters on the back of that camera. I noted that. Well, because I'm in the business. Most filmmakers wear film canisters, like people wear bullets. In case they run out and they quickly have to,

throw another real film in here. No, it's in the camera. It's a film camera. All right, all right. I'm not a f**k you. Ha, ha. Yeah. OK. There's a lot of things to criticize this movie about.

It's the least of cameras in one of them. I would love it. I would love it if there was an extra feature on this DVD, which was the footage that Ice Cube shot. If you could just watch that, it's the guy, it would be like, way crazier with. It's crazy.

It's crazy. Actually, when you would be like, just like, is it crazy to say that? It's crazy that, uh, boom! I was gonna say when you watch his footage, it's actually, are we there yet? Boom!

Taking Ice Cube to task! Put him on the... how did this get me grudgeless? The snake is attacking at certain points and Ice Cube never runs for that camera. I would say that when the snake is attacking that boat, its camera is the last priority for Ice Cube. There's documentaries not about the Anaconda Paul. It's about the people of the mist. People of the mist.

So he does not want to get this action-backed footage. I got one point, John Boyz, like, don't you want to get a camera and get this? And he's like, she's like, oh, yeah, yeah, get that camera. Ice Cube also tries to attack. He gets up like a guy in a bar trying to fight the snake with a little knife. He's like, hey, man.

Stab you with my little baby knife. And the snake quickly knocks it out of his hand sends his pen knife overboard. I wrote down this. I don't know if this is even worth it. We haven't talked about the snake cam. Like the snake, like the snake POV. Yeah.

Which was almost at times inseparable from wide shots. Yeah. So there would be like a point of view camera of the snake, but it would tilt. Yeah, it would get to a Dutch angle. I would tilt it, and then there would just be a wide shot of the river and the boat. And I'd be like, is this the snake too? What? And then there's also be a wide shot of the river and the boat and I'd be like is this the snake too?

And then there's also inside the snake camp. Yeah, I have that I have that We should explain how we get to that. Well, yeah, I mean we can show it at the end I mean because kind of a big spoiler, but basically we mean June has already We'll get we'll get to it because I don't want to miss out on some great moments. What, well, basically now they're getting inspired that John Voight is not so cool. Why? Because he's... Well, he's turning into a snake. He's literally as I wrote that down.

He is a snake. He's turning into a snake. Here is my proof of that with this scene, another great John Void classic scene, where you're gonna continue to believe that he killed it. This is after Owen Wilson is killed and we see Owen Wilson's body inside the snake's body. And this is Carrie Werr comes to confront John Void.

Here we go. Aren't you going to pray? Never look in the eyes of those who kill. They will haunt you forever. I know. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. He is a man tied to a pole who jumps straight up into the air and wraps his legs around another human being's body. I'm impressed. Void got hops.

What is he saying to her at the end? Praying for her. You guys know it. I love this. It's the smartest crowd that we've ever had. He gets to know that there'd be fucking smug about it. That know it. I love this. You guys have the smartest crowd that we've ever had. He gets that out there to be fucking smug about it. That's fantastic. Hey, he's praying.

Duh. He's a priest, asshole. Fuck you guys. I hate this show. Bye. Once they finally get rid of John Voey, like they shoot him with one of the reptile tranquilizers and he falls in the water. And then there's the most poorly added ADR line

which is like ice cube off camera is like, damn the dart just fell out of his back just in case anyone had, because he's gonna come back of course because there's a lot of, because in my mind I was like, oh boy, where'd that dart go? I don't think he went, everybody's thinking. Damn, that dark came out of his back, it's the best one. Man, there's some stuff. The other thing I thought at a certain point was because of what the movie is,

going up a boat in search of something hopeless, blah, blah, I felt like John Voitt was doing Brando in Apocalypse Now. Like weird. Because he was really kind of like, he got a little bit of this. Yeah. He was Marlon Da Nero like this.

Yeah, I felt like he was giving us a little bit of Brando Apocalypse Now. Also, he is hair is insane. Do you think it, Michael? Do you think it was a choice to make John Void look snake-like? Because I was watching that clip, and I believe that his skin looks a little bit more snake- The thing that you have to understand about Anaconda Paul, Yeah.

He's not that the Anaconda is the snake. Right. And it's not that John Void is the snake, got it? Hmm. We are all the snake. And it's not that John Voight is the snake. We are all the snake. Oh shit. There's a little bit of anaconda in all of us. And when you travel down that long river, when you shed your skin, Paul, your anaconda will be revealed. Hey, Michael. Yeah. Can I ask you a question?

Please. Is it true about the Anaconda that my Anaconda don't want none, unless she got buns, buns, hun? What? Also, baby, got back? I can't tell if yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, all. Do you find, June, that you find that Jennifer Lopez was a strong, uh, a female leader in this film? He-he-he. LAUGHTER Look, I thought it was interesting that they didn't... They basically had one of their leads asleep the entire movie. Herod's talk to the sleep. Yeah, so a lot fell on her shoulders, I think, unfairly. one of their leads asleep the entire movie. Eric Stolts is asleep. Yeah, so a lot fell on her shoulders.

I think unfairly. I actually thought during the movie. Well, it wasn't like that happened by accident. That was really good. No, but I had the thought during the movie. I think they must have, right before they started filming, had some major scheduling problems with Eric Stolts. Like, he couldn't be there for like most of the movie.

He was filming Mask 2. Right. Which one? Yes, to be really, never released. But also shot by ice cubes, so weird. The point was that Jay Lowe was an emerging star and Eric Stoltz really hadn't done that much. Nobody wanted to see Eric Stoltz.

We wanted to see Jay Lowe. We wanted to see her. But it was weird to see that he established a love story for them, and then he just went away. Well, I thought that was weird to bizarre. Well, why don't we? He also, I mean, the way he goes away is he goes down to fix the propeller of the boat,

and he swallows some sort of bug that paralyzes him. And they never explain where that bug is. Yes, they do. John Voices, he did it. Yeah. But he doesn't say how he did it. How do you get that bug? That's bug in there.

I'll tell you how. OK. He stuck the bug in the tube. Oh, wow. The audience agrees. Thank you. Thank you. Wait, wait, wait.

He stuck it in the scuba tube. I have a question. Well, I did all the girls in the audience. Be like, yes, yes, yes, yes, June is right. So why don't you guys just shut the fuck up and listen to June? That was racist. I want to say that I think Jennifer Lopez of everybody in that movie

acquitted herself the best. I agree. In a no-win situation, she lost as little as anybody possibly could have. She got, I mean, she got her man, right? I mean, because Eric Stulce does not die. I'm not even saying in story terms. I'm saying in career terms,

in credibility terms. This blew her up. I mean, this is the movie. This is like Selena and Akonda and then boom. Made in Manhattan eventually. But oh, thank God. But I mean, this is probably the movie that got her the out of sight film. Probably.

Yeah. She's the next one right after it. She's toffee and Akonda and she's credible. Yes. Because she comes from, as Ice Cube says, the SC, which I had to figure out what that was. Santa California? Santa Cruz?

I don't know the Southern California. Oh, yeah, that's not thought Southern California. Yeah, I had to go through a lot of SCs before I got there. South Carolina. I spent a little bit of time on Santa Claus, which was weird. I did semester abroad at Santa Claus. But another thing that I don't think is really

dwelt on at all in the movie is that Eric Stoltz, while he's awake, is an asshole. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's not the biggest, know-it-all, sanctimonious prick in the world, who you feel like just wants to give Jennifer Lopez this opportunity just to fuck her. Not that he really has any interest in her.

And he does his best. Everybody. Well, Eric Sultzen, JLo, already they had a had a relationship before this. I mean, well, in a relationship. Well, he says I'm missing. I think it's really complicated. They had like a one night stand. They may have turned into a two night stand

that then they haven't seen each other, but now he's excited because she's gonna have a big break making this documentary. And they're gonna get it back on in the Amazon. Yeah. Because just like an Anaconda, he also likes big butts. God, that's, by the way,

you don't want the Anaconda to come after you. Give it J-Lo, because Anaconda's like big butts! Sir Mixellot tells us so. But why put him to sleep the whole movie? I am genuinely wondering. Because he knows everything. So because he's such a fucking sanctimonious know-it-all, if he's not asleep, everybody would be like,

Eric, well, what should we do? And he'll tell them. Do you think that Eric Stolz, do you think that Eric Stolz was reading the script and was like, okay, good, here, I'm here, I'm here. Oh my God, I think Eric Stolz was thrilled when he read the script. Eric Stolz gets the sleep for 70% of this movie.

And then he has his comeback, he comes and saves the day. Eric Stolz's aDurke is pointless. Like, his character didn't even need to exist. No. Well, no, they just need more people on that boat so they can keep on getting killing people. Like, it was like, that's why there's like three producers. And then the host of the thing is different than Eric Stolz

because Eric Stolz should be the host. But it's the British guy who drinks out of a chalice. That's how we know he's drunk. He's the British guy who drinks out of a chalice. That's how we know he's drunk. And plays, and plays. He literally drinks out of a chalice. Did it? And maybe they felt like, you know what? We've got Stolt. Stolt's is in.

He is so powerful and commanding a presence that John Void would never be able to come into the boat if Stolt was there. Because Stolt's would obviously, Rambo style just destroy John Void. I think it was more of a producer and Hollywood guy. We got this movie. It's called Anna Konda.

It's going to be great. And they'd call everyone in town. And then they're like, hey, we got 12 people said, yes, they're all being the movie. You're the cameraman. You're the producer. You're another kind of producer. You're a host. You're the backstage host.

You're the director. You're another producer. I. You're a host. You're the backstage host. You're the director. You're another producer. He's assigned it after they had. Where John Boy, why do you keep Eric Stoltz alive? Well, he has no need to kill him. I mean, I think that would interfere with the plan. If Eric Stoltz dies, then they're going to turn their plan. Then they don't know my murder. Then there has gonna turn the plan. You don't know my murder.

Then there has been a clear murder, and they would have to look into that. The plan is to capture the Anaconda, but the boat that they have is not equipped to even carry. I mean, the Anaconda, we haven't talked about the Anaconda. The Anaconda applies all laws.

Or policies. It flies, it moves quicker than anything. It is not a hit. It's not, I mean, it's for the weight that it gained. It's a gain to fire. We find out at the end. Yes. I will stop the fires to say we're calling it an andaconda.

Andaconda. What? I'm having a stroke. But I believe it's anaconda. Because there is more than one Anaconda. We were talking about this. We, we, we, we benched this discussion backstage. Are there more than two?

Because I think one is red, but they shoot one in the head. There's the green one they shoot in the head, and then there's the black one that's in the factory. Okay, so there are two. Now they don't really make it clear like, oh, there's another one. And is there, is, is one of them, do we presume the one that killed Trejo?

Like, is that- This is what I thought, because this is where I started to go, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop the clock. Now, is, okay, you know, they're in the newspaper thing and they've got a big snake, right? Yeah. Is Arthi Annaconda seeking revenge like just four?

That's what I thought. and a conder seeking revenge like just four. That's what I thought. On Voight Trejo Mateo. But these people are caught in the crossfire. Of a sentient? Well, the snake is definitely sent. Is that legit? The snake is no longer...

I was bollocks snake. Snakes... Snakes in a river, guys. But the only reason... Yeah, there's not a fucking snake out of my mother fucking river. The only reason why I would say the snake is not sentient is it doesn't often go after John Void. It goes after a lot of other people.

That's the right, yeah. It's not a revenge fantasy for the snake. Yeah. My brain's a crush. My brain's a crush. Which only arose at the ends when they're at the Anaconda factory. Yes. Is... They seem to be harvesting Anacondas.

Yes, so why do they need to capture alive Anaconda when they're... when they've got a breeding farm for Anacondas? I don't know. I don't know who owns that Anaconda farm. I don't know what... I don't understand a lot of it know who owns that anaconda farm. I don't know what. I don't understand a lot of it. Because for the majority of the movie, we are led to believe that this 40-foot long anaconda

is the thing. It's like, it's almost like if you watched all of Jaws, they killed Jaws at like hour and 10 minutes. It's like, oh, and then there's another Jaws. No, it's not just that, they killed Jaws. And then everybody's like, everybody be like, oh, few. And then they go someplace else.

And there's just another jaws. That looks almost exactly like the other jaw. And then when they go to that place, there's a million tiny jaws. How does this kill me? How does this kill me? I want to show you guys, we talked about it earlier. I want to show you guys what happens when a snake does kill somebody.

Just so you guys can see, this is one of my favorite kills. We have two, I can make a video showing back to back. This is the kind of, I said the snake kind of defies logic, this is a great way to show you this. Here we go. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! The snake is so capable to, the snake is so able to move and be dexterous. Like, the guy jumps off a waterfall, and we can pull off the screen.

Uh, that we, the, he jumps off a waterfall, the snake is able to get him, wrap him up, take him home, it's good. But the snake was just in the water a second ago. Now it's trapped on a tree, like 80 feet high. Yeah, it's good. But the snake was just in the water a second ago. Yes. Now it's trapped on a tree like 80 feet high. Yeah, it got that tree very quickly. That happens a lot. The snake is like literally like snakes in this shot. And then cut right here, snakes also here. Well, my thought is maybe there are just hundreds

of these snakes or they're tree elevators where the snake got on it. Or the snake or the snake is a teleporter. Ooh, I like that. Like the X-man, night crawler. Well, the snake definitely has BAM. The meat sensors. Oh, I wanted to show this one quick nerd.

Is there a fucking nerds? You fucking nerds. Before you do, though, Paul. Yes, please. I'd like to point out that right after the scene that you just paused, you see the giant tree being uprooted. Yes. That tree then falls on the boat.

Yeah, as a result of the tree falling on the boat, Eric Stoltz wakes up out of his coma. Yeah, well a lot of people don't, a lot of shit's been going down. All right, I've been to that point, but it's the tree sort of falling out. And you see, it's like enough, he kind of goes, oh shit, where am I?

But isn't that that famous statement if a tree falls in the jungle where Eric Stolt's here at? That's where that statement originates from. I want it, this is not gonna be visual for people who are listening, or is gonna be visual. This is something, just see if you notice, well, I'm gonna tell you what to notice. Great camera work here. They clearly did not have this shot. So they

just ran it backwards. So watch the waterfall in the scene. It's apparently, it's very clear. If you're looking at the waterfall. So take a look here, we can just dim it down. It's Quick. Alright, here we go. There it is. They just ran the footage of backwards. No, Paul. That's not what happened to you. That's not what's happening. Okay, no, hang on, hang on. No, I think the vote is in reverse, Paul.

No, no, no, no. So that explains it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. So that explains it. No, no, no, no, no. They're in South America. Oh, what an order goes backwards. Got it, got it, got it, got it. On the other side of the equator, things go in reverse. That makes sense. Like toilets in Australia.

Well, I want to open it up to you guys in the audience. That's really the toilet. So if you have questions about Anaconda, we have not asked, I'm going to come down to you. So just raise your hand and don't be too weird. OK. All right, here in the Punisher shirt.onda, we have not asked. I'm going to come down to you, so just raise your hand. And don't be too weird. OK. All right. All right, here in the punisher shirt.

OK, we'll get to you. I'll hold onto the mic. What's your name, your favorite color of the question? Go. My name's Jared. My favorite color is purple. And did you guys not hear some Scarface in John Boyd's performance?

So are. Was it Scarface inspired? That's a question. That could be an interesting one, yeah. All right, you start that. I like that idea. All right, I like that idea. Ginondin's gate, Snigsy people.

Yeah, OK. Yeah, OK. Say hello to my little snake. All right, what's your question? My question is, who were they going to sell the snake to for millions? It was such a good question. That is a good question. They actually do say it on the DVD extras. They're gonna sell to the producers. They're gonna sell to the producers of

Anaconda to have a more realistic looking snakes for their movie. By the way, one thing we did before the question, one thing we didn't talk about is when J.Lo goes into John Void's dressing room area. Okay, that's an amazing scene. I know I have to get to it, but right before she goes in, she's like, sexing herself up in the mirror and puts on a lipstick that is the exact color of her skin, upper lips. There's no color and then she walks out like that. I found that part.

I found that part deeply erotic. All right, here's another question. Here we go. Do you guys think that Tommy Wazoo drew some inspiration from John Boyd's performance in Anaconda? Do you have any performance in the room? That's a great one. Do you like that? I like that you have to say Tommy Wazoo's performance in the room

as if he has been in other things. As if his character in the room, Johnny, is that his name? Yes. Is a character. That is a human being. That is a life affair. I would love it if in the middle of this movie, John Void had been like, do you guys want

to play football? Hey, don't understand, it's structure, play. Here's a Hey, man. Toss it around. Don't understand. It's structure of play. Here's a question over here. Go for it. I believe when I asked you play some music on his jukebox, he's playing an ice cube song. Yeah, I checked.

I checked. I thought it's not an ice cube song. It's not. I did it. I did a little bit of research on that. He wouldn't sell them the NWA songs. I bet. No, I don't know if that's true. But no, it was a little bit of research on that. He wouldn't sell them the NWA songs, I bet. No, I don't know if that's true.

But it was a rapper. It was not him, but it was close. What was it, Matt Ten? It was Matt Ten. It's also worth it. But Cube is on that track? He was on that track? This guy is saying Cube is on that track. It's worth noting, because just for clarity and scientific objectivity, it was not a jukebox.

It would have been weird if I used to have a jukebox on the bow. Sometimes he would have finned as weird as a bow. It was before the iPod shuffle, so he didn't even want to think he was a boombox. It was a boombox. All right, here we go. Last question. If it's bad, it won't be the last question.

What about the tracheotomy? Oh, the tracheotomy is good. What about that tracheotomy? Oh, the tracheotomy is good. What about that tracheotomy? What do you want to know? I mean, he performed a serviceable tracheotomy under the circumstances. Well, like that's what I'm saying. If he wanted to kill Eric Stoltz, he would have performed a bad tracheotomy. Well, but what was Eric Stoltz really recovering from? He's playing pipe with a dead rod bug.

But was he trying to get poison out of his body or was he just recovering from the poison? He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised.

He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised.

He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. He was very surprised. perform an emergency boat tracheotomy. But wait, here's the thing, you perform a tracheotomy when from here to here is blocked, right? Well, you have to hold that windpipe here. But by the way, but yes, but after the bug came out,

there was nothing blocking his windpipe. That's what I'm saying. Is there any doubt in the house that can dispute John Voice of medical opinion? Wait a minute. Paralytic river wasp poison. Will paralyze your windpipe. Getting rid of the bug doesn't unparalyze your windpipe.

That's the only thing that can do that. That's the part of the windpipe. If a windpipe is paralyzed, it just means that staying still, it'll be fine. When this won't go down to this. I will be able to question over here. Sir, what's your question? I just wanted to gauge the commentators on what was your favorite puppet death? There was the pan than the beginning who got squeezed and death and eyeball popped out of its head.

Oh the pan made the eye? Scooby-Doo's face? And then there's the monkey who gets puked up on someone else and then there's the anaconda who gets shot at playing Black Range with the sniper rifle. Well, it was interesting. These are good questions. John Void dies at the end. Spoiler alert. He...

He winks. LAUGHTER He winks, but with no eyes. No, no, he winks with one eye when he's regurgitated. Well, right. When he's regurgitated, but one I popped out is what I'm saying. We can still be a back of the one I. Right, no, I love the wink. You guys, I love the wink.

The wink is the best thing on the movie. But he wasn't squeezed to death is what I'm saying. I think he was, but I don't think both of his eyes popped out. So, my answer to you is the panther, the soft monkey death is the best death. Oh, see, my favorite death was the panther, the soft monkey death is the best death. Oh, see, my favorite death was the panther. Cause panther is such a deadly animal and to watch it be like,

errrr. He manned his own noise. And then it drags, it's like, I love this shot where it's like the sick drags, the panther away, and the camera lingers on just the eyeball. All that's left in the shot is an eyeball. I was like, that's pretty fucking hot.

A couple of things I want to just point out to you guys. This movie was nominated for six Razi Awards. What I like here is worst screen couple, John Voight and the Snake. And, and, and a worst new star, the animatronic Anaconda. Here's the thing, the movie was, uh, a roundly pan by most critics.

However, Roger Ebert gave it three and a half out of four stars. Call it people right here in the front row. Like, the anticipation of you saying that? They all started hitting each other. Like, he's gonna say the thing about Roger Ebert. He's gonna say it, and then you said, Roger Ebert, and that went, Oh!

Everybody in the front row just came at once. That's what the power of Ebert's old reviews. He called it a slick, scary, funny creature feature beautifully photographed and splendidly acted. One other thing that I thought was great about this during the filming, one scene, the controls for the animatronic anaconda shorted out, causing it to completely lose control, and some of that footage is used in the movie. He's like, also for every minute that you see that anaconda on screen, it was $100,000 in CGI.

Really? $100,000 per minute. How much do I cost? It cost 45 million and made a whopping 137 million. Wow. Huge hit. Huge hit. Might be ready for a reboot.

Maybe. Look, I don't mean to brag. I was in Pronto 3D and 3D. I have a lot of experience with boats and deadly fish. I can do this. All right. So obviously, we had opinions about the movie. But now is a chance to look at people who have a different opinion.

And it's now time for some five star reviews from Amazon.com. Second opinions from Top to Bottom Crazy movies are fun. They're not your first, but they're gonna be a second. From the chips of Amazon they come take it up in your for everyone take it up in your own these are people who really enjoyed Anaconda Sean James writes what surprised me about Anaconda

is the amount of depth this film had I came in expecting low-budget cheese, but was surprised by the symbolism and metaphors mixed amongst the budding gourd. Voic disappears into his character. He literally makes you think he's someone else. This guy is impressed with acting in general. Fustars.

Erica from Sarasota, Florida, writes in all caps, mind you. I love this movie. You just got to see it. The whole snake and the water thing had me going. I love her. I love her. I was like, I was like dang, that snake doing all that to everybody.

I love her. And it was me. I couldn't have played in that movie because I'm scared of snakes. Although I wouldn't have played in that movie because I'm scared of snakes. Although I wouldn't be scared because it was fake. This movie you gotta go see if you haven't. That's Erica from Sarah's sort of five stars. And my final one, this is a different kind of a rating system. This guy rates this movie a little bit differently.

D-Dinody goes, this movie a little bit differently. Dee Dee Nody goes, this movie is worth getting for the cast alone. Ice Cube's presence alone adds two stars. Carrie were, she adds two stars. Jennifer Lopez, two stars. Exception Selena. He wrote that? Yep. Eric Stoltz, one star.

John Void as a rugged guide with a hidden sinister agenda, one star. A huge CGI snake, Three stars at least. Tag on another star for the lush Amazonian backdrop. And you have a total of 12 stars. This movie is a testament to all that is good and humanity. That person is a genius. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, did you, did you pull the John Void death? Um, no, oh, yes, I did, yes.

I did, yeah, of course. So, at the end of the movie, they get to the warehouse, the Anaconda warehouse, where Anaconda built. I think there's fuel there. They think there's a safe 5 million time, but why? They always think there's fuel places, and turns out there always is. There is, but they always lose it. They don't hit really any obstacles besides the giant thing. But there are like artifacts.

We also did it on the path to this warehouse. Yeah, there is also something crazy happens, which we have not talked about, which is John Voight. So, Cube and JLo are searching for fuel. Oh, maybe there's fuel over here, maybe there's fuel over here. And then John Voight goes, comes sneaks up from behind them,

and with one rifle, but somehow knocks them both unconscious. Because it goes to black. They wait, now they don't wake up yet. They're tied up though. And John Floyd- With snake skin. Oh, is that what it was? Okay, snake skin.

They're tied up on the ground of the warehouse. And John Floyd has bled a monkey. Yes. Into a bucket. And it's a single monkey that has probably six gallons of blood in it. It's a big monkey. It's a small monkey, though, but it's got, like, it's basically just only full of blood. No organs, no bones, just...

I'm pretty sure it's just a little... What we were assuming, where he could have cut a couple monkeys, and that was the last monkey. Okay, so I just thought the monkey was fully engorged. Yeah, perhaps, yes, all the blood had gone to its penis, you mean? So there is a giant monkey boner. Is that what you say? Can you start, Jay-mo? Yeah, he's starting to run the back while I say monkey boner.

They wouldn't have done any other way. Like your parents have never seen a monkey boner. So Jay-mo's time to wake up. And he drenched them in monkey blood. Which that action calls the snake. Meanwhile, the monkey has been bleeding there for a long time. The snake could have come at any point when that monkey was cut. But it was almost like a mix of like ice cube sweat.

I mean, do you know what I mean? But you guys, by the way, the snake has been after human beans, beans. Beans. Humans. Human beings the whole time. Yeah, yeah. So why did he need the monkey blood? Yeah, yeah.

No, I agree. No, no. And also, why not just stab one of them to bleed? By the way, I would argue that- You're going to find a monkey, give it a boner, bleed it. Right. I mean, you've got to figure, like, 10 minutes of just John Void jerking a monkey off. The power in the rated director's edition.

Um, I will say, I will say that no animal, no snake has attacked anyone that's bleeding in the whole movie. Like, that is the thing. Nobody has been bleeding at the snake attack. We can all agree to that. Oh yeah, it's not like, it's, here's the thing. Anacondas are not vampires. No.

They're not like, blood. Or maybe it's a jaws thing. Maybe this movie is basically just a jaws rip off. Maybe it's just a blood in the water. That's insulting to even the word rip off. I mean, is, well, this is the POV that we talked about. This is not the full John Void desi. Okay, so John Void, then the snake eats John Void, and then...

Well, here you go. You're gonna see how he eats John Void. How they got the camera in here, we will never know. Alright, here we go. What? The camera is inside the face. And that is how he eats him up. That's all I got of that scene. Just, uh, oh, sorry. He eats him.

He eats the whole body. I mean, that is just some fucking gross shit. And the camera is inside the snake's body. And then afterwards, uh, the snake barfs John Void back out. Amazing. This is what we were talking about earlier. John Void flumps to the ground, leans just straight against J.Lo,

who for some reason does not back up. No, not at all. She allows him to kind of slump against her, and then he kind of backs up, and he winks. He's like, like, hey, babe. Well, even when J.Lo is seducing John Voight, like he knows it, like we're real that he knows it. And he still goes in for another kiss.

He's like, I need it. Like, he's a snake. He is a snake. He's just a snake. Did we miss anything? Did we miss anything that we need to talk about? Oh, God. What?

What? Oh, yes. That was a good one. One of the best visuals in the movie is a snake drives by the camera. And a Toyota Celica. Ha-ha. And the snake, you can see Owen Wilson's outline.

But he's outline like Han Solo and Empire Strikes Back like his mouth is open like, oh, you got me! It's like in Nightmare and Elm Street when the face comes out of the wall. But then meanwhile, two seconds later, he goes right after the next person. He has a full belly full of Wilson over there. Or as his character's name, Gary. Gary! I just wrote down a large one. What's the thing about Owen Wilson movies?

10 minutes later, you're hungry for another. Yeah, I will say that it's more realistic than when Marley ate him in Marley and me. I highly recommend that you see this movie. I think it's worth it's it's wait and I actually was watching it again to get to get to get I was watching it again today for pulling clips. I was like it's actually even better this second time like knowing where it's going I'm like, oh I'm enjoying this even more. Oh, so you were surprised during the first time you watched it of all the twists and turns I was just kind of like, what is this gonna happen? I got to enjoy some of the more nuanced symbolism and metaphors.

Sure. The fact that you're tied up with the fake stuff. You're just going to have to worry about following a plot. Yeah. The person, I mean, do you think the symbolism is that the snake is like the snake in the book of Genesis, the snake the tenths man to eat a forbidden fruit? I mean, it's the snake the devil. If I was a hammer and you were a nail, I'd be hitting you on the head.

I don't think we can recover from that. Any final thoughts? Any final thoughts? I'm just curious if the tribe people signed releases before they got to the end. They find the tribe at the end. They do find the people of the mist. The people of the mist, they come out of the mist. And they clearly have no problem with these snakes. I think they live in harmony with the snakes. And I guess they get their footage.

I guess, I don't know, I'm guessing. Well, she does, doesn't it the end? She say get the camera or something like that? Yeah. No, no, no. The last lines are roll film and he goes, camera rolling, credits. And then it's the boat going into the sunset. Yeah.

Did it the boat get destroyed? The tree was OK. That's a strong boat. Maybe that's the reason the Mateo thought that boat could hold a 40 foot snake that can fly. Really do wonder if I really, I don't think we figured out, and I don't think anybody will ever figure out

what the exact plan was between Mateo, Void, and Trejo. They were just buddies, and I guess they couldn't afford a boat themselves. They were just independent snake hunters. You teamed up. Mateo had a boat. I'm a prequel. I want a prequel.

Mateo, you're right. Mateo had a boat. A prequel that they had. And they had a snake factory. I want a prequel that ends with that. That was there. That was there being taken. Well, right?

You know, a time when it's about John Boyth, Mateo, and Trejo. Fucking snake hunters in the Amazon, just fucking chicks and nailing snakes. Sadly, sadly, no one thought of that because the film was followed by three sequels, Anaconda is the hunt for blood orchid, and then a two TV movies, Anaconda 3, offspring, and Anaconda's trail of blood. So they have not gone back. The snake in this movie is worse than the snake in that sci-fi movie with the giant snake in it,

which if you've seen that, is absolute garbage. Like, the dummies who made that snake watch this movie and we can do this better. We can get that. And they didn't even have to afford stolt and all this bullshit. I will say this, and just any time we talk about stolt, I just want to say, go and find all of the photographs and everything of Eric Stoltz as Marty McFly.

You're really portrayal as Marty McFly. He's a humorless portrayal of Marty McFly, apparently. Humorless. Yeah. Almost all of back to the future with Eric Stoltz and the Marty McFly role, killed it, and reshotted it with Michael J. Foxx. And you think, oh, they didn't shoot that much.

There's so many pictures of him from almost every scene in the movie. Three quarters of the movie. Yeah. Three quarters of the movie. They like shot eight weeks of them and go, ah, scrap it. Because it was too dark.

I want them to release that. All right, well thank you guys so much for coming out. We really appreciate this has been amazing. A big thank you to Michael E. Black. That is all for our live episode live from the Bellhouse. Big thanks to Michael E. Black. He's amazing. You can follow him on Twitter.

Also, he has a great book out called You're Not Doing It Right. This book is great. I know June is a huge fan of it as am I you can follow me on Twitter app Paul sheer come out June at miss June dying and that is all we will see you next time on how to just get made you