How Did This Get Made? - Shark Attack 3: Megalodon LIVE!

Episode Date: July 12, 2024

We're celebrating Hot Shark Summer all July and kicking things off with 2002's Shark Attack 3: Megalodon—a movie that asks, "What if Jaws happened in Porky's?" LIVE from London, the HDTGM crew discuss the best line in cinema history, the comically large momma shark, the bonkers VFX shots, the mystery of the groping hand, and so much more. Plus, June revisits her thoughts on male tea drinkers and our second opinion singer from our Beekeeper episode attempts to redeem himself. Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, and more on bad movies!Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of TraumaFor extra content on Matinee Monday movies, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerTalk bad movies on the HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerFollow Paul’s movie recs on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/Check out new HDTGM movie merch over at teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmPaul and Rob Huebel stream live on Twitch every Thursday 8-10pm EST: www.twitch.tv/friendzoneLike good movies too? Subscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comWhere to find Paul, June, & Jason:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on social media

Jaws could never eat pussy like this. We saw Shark Attack 3 Megalodon, so you know what that means. Now it's time for the show. And it's gonna be BF4! What's up jerks? That's right London, here we go! Hello people of Scotland! Jamie, Big Paul and the beautiful June

Gonna take you to the moon while the wind is the roll Thunderpants! I've got a lot to say! I took notes! I'm not okay! People of Scotland! Belfast! Things full of farts. Eat em all. Rupert Ripper changes name. So upset. I hate this.

That's my ugly truth. This place is full of B. Get this guy out of here! Hello, people of Earth! And hello, people of London! We are live at the Hackney Empire, and I can't wait to talk about this film that shocked me. So many times. But truly the biggest shock came when someone pulled out a cell phone. I was like, wait a second, a Razor phone?

Yes, this movie was made in 2002, if you can believe it. And what's the premise? Well, if you've seen the Meg, that's it. But if you've not seen the Meg, I will say, have you seen Jaws? And if you've not seen either one of those, I will say this, it is about a small resort who comes under attack from a baby Megalodon who they think is a big

problem and then they encounter a comically large shark. A shark that looks like if it opens its mouth it could swallow a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Yes it's a dinosaur shark movie it's got everything you want and a lot of things you don't. And tonight, we are going to break it all down. So don't stand and need deep water, because you're bound to get eaten. Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to break down this movie with my two co-hosts. Please welcome to the stage Mr. Jason Manzoukas.

What's up jerks? That's right London, here we go! Big shark movie! Wow wow wow, we did it London! We did it, we sat in our hotel today and we watched this movie. I was so loud that I was concerned for the people around me. The rooms next to me being like, boom, boom, boom, cut it out! The ADR is terrible on this movie!

They didn't even try. This movie, if I, who have never done sound for any film, I could probably do it a little bit better than what this movie did. Oh, we could all put our heads together tonight, re-ADR, re-foly this whole movie and it would make more sense and it would be a more satisfying experience. But boy was I delighted to see Captain Jack Harkness, that's right, from Doctor Who, rolling into this thing. I mean, with, and we're gonna get to it because when he delivers a certain line, Wow.

Which I have in my notes, bold and underlined. I was like, this is the best piece of film writing in history. The movie will get you any which way. A line? A line that I'm going to try and use tonight. That's right. Get ready, London.

Let's get this show started. That's right. Please welcome my other co-hosts June Diane Rayfield! Welcome June, how are you? I'm okay, how are you Paul? I'm doing well, Thank you for asking. Shark Attack 3. Wow. So here, okay. So I want to just start by saying it's wild because Jason informed me that we've been doing the podcast for 14 years. And I said, that's crazy. But also, when a movie like this comes along. A movie in which I didn't realize until you played it there was nudity in the trailer.

A sign of a good film. Thank you Shark Attack 3. I was truly like, wow, we have so much more work to do. Isn't that? We have work. There is a certain joy in that, but there is, boy, a real heartbreak. Like, there is so much more we need to get through. Yeah. And to take a movie like this overseas,

you know, to present ourselves with this, is so tough. And yet it's so us, you know? It's so who we are. For you guys to spend money? To come and see this? Well, we may, we have to hold them accountable. You produced John Barrowman, so that's it.

We are not going to let you get away with this. I believe it was Scotland that produced John Barrowman. Doesn't make a difference. We'll take it. We'll take it on this side. It was true. It is Scotland. Don't cheer for Scotland. They'll cheer it. We'll take it on this side. It was true. It is Scotland. They'll cheer for themselves in two nights when we're there. I will say this. John Barrowman

looks to me like a young Tom Cruise in this movie. He's got a great look. And I feel like he has chemistry with everybody. I mean, I feel like this is a town where everyone's fucking and drinking out of small styrofoam cups. Now, what I want to talk about for roughly the next two hours is the moment where he brings over a coffee cup to his first mate. And that first mate, well first, just his order in general, he gets two cups of coffee from a

bar. No tops, no tops, no lids. No covers, no lids. And also, but Jason, he was also at a bar, which probably serves soft drinks. So he gets two coffee cups. He drops off one to a guy. We'll only see one other time when he's having sex in the water and then fights and kills a shark, a tiger shark. That's over there for right now. But he gives one cup of coffee to that guy. And then he gives another cup of coffee to the guy he works with.

And then he takes a Coke from him. That's island currency. I couldn't figure it out either. I agree 100%. That's the way things work on the island. You bring, it's like, it's all trading. It's like, I'll give you a cup of coffee, you give me a boat. You know, I'll go over here.

I was also just, I love the fun witty repartee, because this is a movie where nothing makes sense but everyone laughs like they're having a time. Oh! There is so much performative laughter as if it is able to stitch scenes and lines together. It's honestly like it's underscoring. Oh, it is. People are laughing, and they seem psychotic. Especially, I will say especially in that first act,

in that first series of little scene-lets that we have where he's delivering the coffees, they're going out to see, they're just talking about who's fucking who and what's up with this and that and it's all just like, ha ha ha ha ha. Well, I mean, it was where one of my favorite lines in the movie, not my ultimate favorite line in the movie, but one of my favorite lines in the movie where he goes, favorite line in the movie, but one of my favorite lines in the movie

where he goes, well, you're, cause you're my bitch and he's like, you wish. Ha ha ha ha. It's like, what, what is that? Well, let's unpack that. Yeah, or, but you're an ass man and you'd do anything for that ass. I would.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. What? This movie, this movie is 80 yard, like a Kung Fu film, but if you watch their lips, they're saying that. This is not ADR. Some of it's ADR too though, because sometimes people are talking when they clearly have scuba things in their mouth. And then sometimes the ADR, like the makeout scene between the woman on the beach and that guy, when they're in the water together,

they- Skinny dipping? Skinny dipping. They loop a woman's voice to her, that woman's body and face. And she goes, ugh, ugh! Ugh! I also, look, I'm gonna go there and say,

they put the voice of a black man in an old white man's body and it really fucked me up. He is the security guard at the museum. I was like, this is upsetting to me. These don't connect. These things don't go. And Paul, I will be, to the end of my days, haunted, haunted by the fact that our leading lady gives that man a kiss on the cheek at the end of that scene.

What was that? She kisses the security guard who's like, you're working late. She's like, gotta keep up with the work, smooch. Why? Like she should be reported. What? He's in a position, she's in a position of power over him.

This is dangerous. What is she by the way? Is she a paleontologist? Is she a marine biologist? She looks like she deals with dinosaurs, but she's also like- She also felt like a villain to me. Yeah.

For the half of the movie. And then I'm like, wait a minute. I think we're rooting for her. I thought for sure. See, and I still don't know, but I thought for sure. She's a paleontologist at a museum by day, but by night, she's trying to sell a reality show and cut together this footage to make a giant sale off the backs of prehistoric creatures and come back. Seems like it. I was truly like that's the only thing that makes sense. I couldn't understand

what her end game was. Was it to be the person that discovered a living thought to be extinct animal and the glory that would come from that or is she just is there a is there something more nefarious? I mean but she's also just a woman who works at a museum, a paleontologist. She's a paleontologist who works at a museum who at night trolls shark Reddit. Oh. Like, why? I don't even get that connection. Do you have a clip that is shark mystery, shark mystery?

Or, I'm sorry, mystery, shark mystery, shark mystery, shark? You know what I'm talking about? Did you see I believe this is the clip? That you're requesting clip three mystery shark Google search Shark teeth And if you don't know oh no, this is him Oh, this is this is Captain Jack and just to make sure he's got to hold it right next to it No, when she then goes to look up his thing. Watch this, though.

Takes a picture. This is nuts. Not connected to anything. Not connected to a goddamn thing. We don't have this tech now. Mystery shark. Mystery shark. Love it.

Why is it centered and large? I also think, guys, any suggestions? Anyone! Anyone. Just post it. She sees it, and it's mystery shark spelled M-I-S-T-E-R-Y. I saw that. And then it cuts, it reverses onto her,

reverses back to the computer screen, spelled correctly. I saw it, but here- I was like, what are we doing guys? Here's my question, Paul. Does she, okay, is that a website? She seems to receive his message. It's like a bulletin board. Okay, because she seems to receive his message as an email. Well, yeah, I think that the, like, the way that they showed the internet here is slightly flawed

No, I Think the way they show boats is flawed I think the way they show the ocean is flawed because when the I not to spoil anything But there is a mama shark a mama Megalodon in this movie who comes in and appears to growl like a bear while underwater. Like, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr. You know that the director's like, can we make the shark have some sound? It's like, you know, in space movies there shouldn't be any sound in like laser battles, but people put it in, so it's exciting.

And they're like, we need to make this more exciting. We just can't have a shark attack. need to like amp it up let's get that bear noise let's get Chewbacca in here it's like it's wild this movie is like Jaws obviously it's like Jaws but it's like what if Jaws happened to Porky's Which is a movie I was in called Piranha 3D. But it really is. And Piranha 3 Double D. So good. But it's like when the old man, the very old man is fishing in the very beginning. I believe the captain of the boat is fingering his wife.

I mean right behind him. He's like whoa, whoa. And they're like, here. That captain is so positive that that man will be so connected to marlin fishing that he will never even... Okay, see, that's interesting. I didn't read that.

I thought that the captain... Brought his girlfriend? I thought that that was just a woman because women in this movie... Well, it is a woman. She's not just a woman. But there are women in this movie who are in scenes, don't speak, never introduced to anyone,

and things happen to them sexually, and we don't know where the hands are coming from, we don't know who's touching who. The mystery hand is so, I don't know what the, M-I-S-T-E-R-Y, mystery hand. The mystery hand, so when I saw that woman, when I saw that woman on the boat, I thought everybody's just fucking here.

Yeah. Like, people are fucking at work. People are fucking... So you're saying every boat from this marina has a fuck couple in it? I thought so. I did not realize that that was that guy's wife. Well, that was what I assumed. Again, exposition is not really doled out here in any way.

I mean, the grand part of, the most we learn is about this line of like fiber optic cables. Like that's the most information which if you do any research on fiber optic cables they don't give out electricity. So the entire premise of the film is wrong. Especially, I will say, when this movie has to show any kind of, especially with shark attacks, action, it becomes undecipherable filmically. It is absolute chaos of cuts, bubble, water, footage, cut, cut, teeth, teeth, teeth, right here, uh-oh, and it is just a, you can't tell the geography of any of these. One time the camera's in the mouth, because the teeth are in front of the camera.

That's why I was so confused about the Shiger, the Shiger. Are you okay? No. Well I like where you're going, by the way, June shark attacked four Shiger. Is that a tiger shark? Is it a? The tiger shark attack with a skinny dipping couple. Yeah. I didn't know what happened.

What happened? What? The shark was dead at the end of that scene. What happened? What transpired? Who ripped who? I could not make heads or tails. I don't think we have an answer is the answer.

But a shark was killed during that scene. I don't know how. I think it died of natural causes. I think it saw them fucking underwater, which you should not do. Well, first of all, Go do it. You guys up there, you want too bad. The balcony's like, you can't stop us, we fuck wherever we want. But I want to

break that down because it seems to be that this movie posits that tiger sharks can be killed with a solid punch in the head because that's what happens. Well, yes, so the tiger shark is like, it's not gonna hurt anybody unless you're a small fish. Like that's what they say. Even though that seemed like a scary looking shark. And then he says that, but still opens its mouth and then compares teeth. Yep, not that one.

You already said it's not that one. It couldn't have been, like, he's like, all right. He's a terrible detective. Well, I mean, he's not a detective. He's not that one it couldn't have been like he's like all right but he's a terrible detective well I mean he's not he's not one well what is he because I don't know he's at one point he's like let's go kill it he has no job fuck boy security guard at the resort but he's like let's go kill a shark it doesn't seem to me like oh I don't know why he thinks he's up to the task. That's just hubris. He's sort of like a renegade sea patroller, where he is responsible, I think, just for the waters of that resort and that resort only.

And they do have a thing where, oh wait, this is later on, okay, sorry, where he is, he's like, don't we have the best job? all we have to do is just patrol the waters here Like they say that in exposition but just in case we were confused about what his job was and they also have to be like don't we shouldn't go over there and do that because that's away from our jurisdiction or Manager wants us to stay here and we they went like further out and they got in trouble for it But it's not an area where sharks seem to be attacking. So what are they protecting the people from?

Who fucking knows? Like it's not like... Chlamydia? Waterborne chlamydia? I also just, before we get too far past it, when we do meet our San Diego, oh, our San Diego scientists... That's where all science happens. It's in San Diego, oh, our San Diego scientist. That's where all science happens. It's in San Diego, California. One of the great history museums

in the United States in San Diego. When he goes to San Diego, there's a sign, or she's in, sorry, when she's in the museum, there's a sign that says, exhibit premiere, but it also seems like she's in the room where the exhibit will be. So I was wondering like shouldn't that sign be on the outside of the museum not in the room? It would be like it would be like putting a premier poster inside the

movie theater instead on the outside. I believe it like it like that's but that to me is what this movie is like I feel like they got every prop they could together, and instead of putting them all in their place, they put it all in one room. Put it in everything. Like the Navy Man's room, which is just an Airbnb. Yes. Yes. The Navy Man's apartment, which becomes a war room with George W. Bush on the wall.

And Dick Cheney. At a certain point in the movie, I was like, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are so heavily featured. Like, I was like, oh, they are sponsoring this movie. Like, they are, they must be producers. I was like, this, what also shook me about this movie was yes, it's 2002. This is a post 9 11 world. Whoa, what?

No, it's not 2002. This is no way 2002. Is it? No, no, no. Blowing my mind. No, because her eyebrows are 1993 to 1995. There's no way those eyebrows are from the 2000s. Her water shirt?

Whatever that red shirt is? I wanna talk about her cargo pants that were featured. When he is checking out her ass, she's wearing beige cargo pants. And not only that. I was like, what are you seeing? They're sort of like ill-fitting. They have about seven pockets.

I thought that was character building. That guy is such an ass man, he doesn't care. Yeah. I know. He's like, give it to me. I truly was like, where do you see it? Close up on it. They're like, b- to me. I truly was like, where do you see it? Close up on it. They're like, b-b-b-barrel. Like, we're getting his point of view,

and it's like beige pants, just like blousey beige cargo pants. Ill-fitting. And also, there were, did anyone else see this? Did I make it up in my mind? Like, five pockets on the back of the pants. A lot of pockets. A lot of pockets. A lot of pockets. A lot of pockets.

Yeah, she had like a Deadpool amount of pockets. And pouches. But yeah, there's just no way those eyebrows were in the 2000s. Like, I don't believe it. Did it, was it shot earlier? It must have been shot earlier. He's the president.

If he's the president, it's post, now he only was the president in 2001, right? That's a good point, that's a good point. Stop, okay, Paul, stop screaming at us. And if we would've stuck with him, just a little bit longer. Wait, what? Sorry.

We stuck with him as long as we could. Finally, I'm over here, I can talk my mind about politics. Oh, Paul, backstage, very pro-Brexit. Very pro-Brexit. We couldn't have stuck with him any longer. He had a lot to say about Bojo. He should have come back again. Here's what I'll say.

She needs all those pockets for her consumer camera that she's out there trying to prove a dinosaur exists with a camera that you would buy at any local store. She has a digital camera that I swear to God has 1.5 megapixels. If that. And not even a zoom. The zoom lens is not even coming out. It's this flat. The guy that she's with has a TV camera from the 1970s.

Yeah, this, I just don't understand how this movie was made in the 2000s. Wow. I don't, I'm, that's how this movie was made in the 2000s. Wow. I don't, I'm, that's making me feel a lot of different things. I mean, that, this is a terrible plan to capture footage of this shark on a small boat. They're like, hey, there's a chance the world's biggest shark is out there. Let's take the small boat out there with my consumer camera, the camera from the 70s, see what happens. It'll be fine, right?

Oh yeah, let's get in as close to the boat as we can. They're too busy high-fiving. The shark is a foot away. Yeah, we go, oh fuck. Yeah. Like, they should have gotten the fuck out of there. Also, and this is a real question. Okay.

How were they able to travel with shotguns and crossbows? If you're indeed telling me it's post-9-11, I mean, I can't get on with a tiny pair of scissors. I think they're just coming from San Diego. I think they drove. Yeah. Oh. Probably.

I also went at this shark And again, I'm confused about which shark we're seeing. I think we're mostly seeing the small shark like a 15-foot baby But okay, so we only see the tiger shark once for that. Oh that tiger shark is a full misdirect Okay, so in that time This giant ass shark seems to swim in time, this giant ass shark seems to swim in four feet of water. Like this shark does most of its attacking right, like people are still standing. Right at the spot where the water slide lets off. Yeah.

Like the sloppy makeout couple who find their way to the top of the water slide tower only to go down. I was like, what on earth is this? Well, the other couple that are fucking in the water, well, they're standing, I mean, doesn't it seem like they're at a kind of like a hedonism or some sort of fuck resort? Because everybody's horny, everybody's fucking at the party, there's a crazy band playing, everybody's-

Oh, the band, the woman who has balls on her dress? Every, yes, every big, every wide shot features children prominently. And I was like, what's going on? Well, here's the thing, and this is where... This is what's so hard about the movie, is I feel like they threw children in every shot, a beach shot, because they were like, we have to make sure that the audience doesn't want these people to be eaten by sharks. And as the movie went on and on,

I was rooting for every person on screen to be eaten by a shark. I was so excited when those rich assholes were getting eaten by the big one. I was like, eat them all. Eat them all. When the mama shark comes out finally and swallows whole boats like a pill. Like not chewing at all, just like, like a fucking vitamin.

I love that. Boat after boat after boat. And jet ski. Get them, get them. Get them. Get them all. But I will say... And the only person who lives, him. Get him all. But I will say- And the only person who lives, thank God, is the dog.

I will say they- Horse. Horse. They clearly did not have too many stunt coordinators because everyone falling off that big boat is jumping. They're all jumping off that boat. Oh, and that scene, if they hadn't used slow-mo for that scene, it would have been 15 seconds long, and I timed it, it's 38 minutes.

Of them in slow-mo, people just jumping off the boat, just like, booboo, booboo, booboo, booboo, booboo. It is crazy. The most nerve-racking moment I had, it's not the shark attacks, it was watching all those actors balance on choppy water. Because they're always on these boats and they're like, they're holding, they're all like walking upstairs.

Like all in the same. I will say the only person that I did not want to get eaten by the shark truly is the parasailer. The woman who's parasailing. Me too. Same. Hers, that, I will say that was the only sequence of the movie that worked. Especially when the shark started diving and drawing her towards the water.

I was like, yes, now you're getting it. Now you understand how tension works. Not just chop, chop, chop, chop. Ah! But they make a terrible decision there. There's a man in a boat who seems to have hit his head. Let's stop for him first, deal with him while a woman is being dragged out to sea to be there.

Stop the boat, everybody. We got to get him. You have okay with that? By the way, that happens multiple times in the movie. Later on, with one of the camera crew members, Davis, Davey. Who knows? He also falls. He's David's hit man. He also falls and hits his head.

You mean Nikolai Seldroff? Yeah, that guy. He also falls, I think, and hits his head on the boat. Yeah, he knocks himself unconscious. But that's in the scene where the shark is able to burst, breach the cabin, which I think to the level the shark breaches the cabin, I believe the boat would be at the bottom of the ocean in seconds.

He, the shark has most of its body inside. That's what's so confusing. It's like the water is filling up so slowly. It's not, it's not even filling up. And it barely is. It's not even filling up. The shark, it's almost like the shark's entrance has sealed the boat, sealed itself around the boat.

And meanwhile, John Barrowman, God bless him, die, die, die, die! God damn you! There's so many shots in the movie where none of the, for him, for other people, especially in that scene, where you can tell they don't have a shark they don't have anything practical in the scene really that so they're just saying things to nothing you can feel it be you could feel it being nothing in in front of them and how differently

they're reacting to it pretty satisfied but they also there is like a thing where I feel like I watched an actor who was like, all right, so in this, he'll kick the shark in the face and say die, and then we'll move on. And then it's like, action. Die, die, die. And the director's like, keep it going, keep it going.

Die, die. And the energy is, die, die. I felt like they used every scrap of film they shot in this movie because so much of it is bad. And I'm like, they should have cut that, right? I don't think they legally could. I mean, I think that they literally shot in that woman's apartment that she was staying

in during the shooting of that film. She's like, sorry, it's a mess. I'm trying to quit smoking. And I was like, so you're binge eating? Is that what you're covering up? Because her apartment is full of candy wrappers. I loved in the scene where the shark breaches the cabin. She manages to get her shotgun out.

They shoot the shark, they kill it, and she goes, you're extinct, fucker! As if the shark had told her she was extinct. As if the shark had said, you're extinct, bitch. Like it's Freddy Krueger or something like, you're extinct, bitch. And she's like, you're extinct, fucker. Like, is she a convert?

Does she speak to the sharks? Honestly, what's going on with her entire narrative is so fascinating because she, it seems like she only starts to value that like human life in general when the parasailor dies in her fingers basically. And she's left with her necklace because before then, although she's able to like tell us a lot about what these sharks are capable of, she doesn't seem to care at all. Even when multiple people are killed in front of her, because the the woman who's parasailing

is connected to a boat with two, you know, guys in it who are like taking her parasailing. They are also wasted. Yep. And we watch them get chomped to death. We watch everybody. She watches like three to four people get killed. And it's not until she has that moment with the parasailing woman who she has so many opportunities.

What we learn about Kat, what we learn about Kat both in this scene and in the trying to climb the ladder scene is she has no grip strength. None. She can't get the woman up. She can't get up the ladder. ladder scene is she has no grip strength. None. She can't get the woman up. She can't get up the ladder.

But that's why I started to question Ben as well because I was like, she can't get this woman out of the water. Do you want to step in, buddy? Yeah. Nope. Let her take, like, they are, this is a bad idea brigade every step of the way. Getting on that ladder should have brought down the helicopter.

Like it was so poorly, first of all, we know there's no helicopter because every time they cut to the helicopter control panel, it was like a joystick. It was like- It's the same joystick in the sub. Same joystick painted. And I was like, what is happening?

And all the external helicopter shots are VFX. Yeah. And I was like, when I saw that, I was like, what is happening? And all the external helicopter shots are VFX. And I was like, when I saw that, I was like, fuck yes, the shark is going to jump up and eat the helicopter, which would have been great. All I wanted was that, but I guess it was a good guy. Can I ask a question? This is going to be maybe a dumb question, but the submarine that's... Baby sub? Yeah.

The baby sub vessel that's on the beach that I think is... Yeah, the yellow submarine that they all live in. That one. It is actually more spacious than you think though. Oh. It seemed like they had a lot of room. I think we all remember that sub that imploded a few years last year. This sub is way better than that.

These guys have... It looked like it was controlled by the same device though. So, are we to understand that Apex International Securities, whatever that organization is, that this submarine is leaving from the beach. We see it. The resort beach. We see it when when Captain Jack Harkness is bringing the coffee to his buddy. He first sees, oh he's in that scene or another scene, he sees the old old old Magaman and is like hey I want to drive that sub someday and he's like ah you could do it and then the other guy in the sub is like, you're going to let him drive.

And he's like, he's got the instinct or whatever he says. There's a whole back and forth. And the sub is, if you went to a resort and you were like, I want to rent a canoe or a paddleboard. And what is that submarine?

A submarine. Maybe that's how that guy arrived. I don't know why the Navy has an active presence there anyway. Is he active service? He's not active service. I believe he is retired. Is he our Quint? Yes.

But he is working for Apex. Just because you brought up Apex, I do want to talk about him. Apex has, if you are a graphic designer, this is how you should not make a logo, where your A is pointing down. Like, it's like a stock crashing, is the way the A is. I was like, that gives me a terrible sense of this company. It's pointing to microfibers.

The minute when he says, they're like, well, how are you gonna get into the computer system? And he's like, or he says, they're like, well, how are you going to get into the computer system? Or he says basically, well, not until I start hacking. And I was like, I'm so sorry, grandpa. Are you thinking you're going to hack? And then he does hack. But he hacks like this.

But he does a lot of narrating it, too. Top secret files. Oh, there they are. Like he literally types in, like types in. Okay, that scene, I was honestly very disturbed. The whole time I thought he looked so much like John McCain, a Senator from, yeah. I thought he was John McCain many times.

But in that scene, we cut to him and he's in a black cotton tank top, not ribbed, just plain solid black cotton, eating an apple, hacking. It was so distressing to me. Also, the only character in this movie, I believe, who does not fuck on camera everybody else fucks on camera we see it well else I mean he also has the best line where you know they had this one transmitter for this I mean this convoluted bullshit plan they have like well that that the giant warhead that he keeps, he's like... Oh, the torpedo? Yeah, the torpedo.

The Mark IV torpedo? Yeah. He has in his house? Don't tell anybody about this. In his blue painted room of weaponry, it's like Christian Grey's red room, but this is a blue room of just old weaponry. I wasn't going to end up with a dump. And I thought, did anyone else,

I was really excited, because I thought at the very end, he was absolutely gonna sacrifice himself. How did he not? I don't know. How did he not? Why did we keep him alive? Well, because we needed a killer end line.

Huh, feel a little underdressed. Yeah. When he said that. I believe he said, while he's wearing breathing apparatus. I think he's making jokes in the face of countless dead. He... I feel underdressed. For who? Who is that for? I also don't understand how he got out of the sub. Oh, I guess they bring it to the surface. No, no, no. This is a huge problem. Because Captain Jack Harkness also is able to exit the sub without there being any difference

between the interior pressurized sub. Everybody in this movie has the bends. For sure. Fuck the bends. He blew up. When he opened up, he would have... Yeah, he'd absolutely be dead. Yeah, they'd just open a hatch and swim out.

They swim right out. They swim out. The water would be, it would drag you back in. It would blow them back, yeah. You couldn't swim, come on. You can't even get out of the car that fell into a lake. This is a sub. He's like turning a wheel, pushing that open, swimming out.

This is... Heh heh heh heh! Howdy, Disco-B! Howdy, Disco-B! Wait! I have a question. Wasn't there a whole plot line that never gets, or maybe it does get resolved, and I was in a fugue state during the watching of this movie, but weren't they, didn't they have like a hypodermic needle to poison the shark or something? Didn't they have, they were like, oh, so you're telling

me this is going to kill the shark? What happened to that? I know they're shooting a lot of, I thought that first they had to put the lipstick camera on the shark. Get that shark. I thought, boy did I want you to say they were putting lipstick on the shark. They did seem. They were like, just give the shark a makeover and let it come to the beach party. By the way, listen, they were always putting trackers on the shark a makeover and let it come to the beach party? By the way, listen, they were always putting trackers on the shark.

Trackers on the little shark's tracks, on the big sharks. Everybody was trying to get a tracker on the shark. They're tracking a GPS. They've got a camera on it. What's the shark up to? By the way, they never look at what the shark is up to really. They're just swimming. They could always see.

And it seems like at certain points, the shark is out for blood. And it's like the shark just wants to eat people. The shark... I don't know why the shark is so angry. The shark is drawn to electricity. The shark is drawn to all of these things. But then why is he drawn to a woman in a parasol where there's no electricity? Because here's what...

No, I know. I... Well, my reading of that was that that baby shark brought her, was trying to bring her as food for his mom. Oh? Okay. You get an oh? Okay.

Actually, no. Oh? No, don't do that. Don't, don't. And by the way, do you think that one little tiny person, that one little tiny person's gonna feed that giant shark? She needs to bring four boats in there. She needs a marina.

Fuck you, London. I know I saw that. Caring so much for a shark and its mom? Eat shit. But when that mama shark came out, I was like, now we're talking. I wrote down, holy shit, because it it's so it's comically large well my favorite part is it's like a VFX shot of the giant shark coming out and gobbling up a boat another boat all these things

it's the same shot over and over it goes this way then they reverse it it does it this way and then when the apex bad guy rides a sea Do out of the boat? It's the same VFX shot laid down Scene 7 let's watch it. I mean, this is a classic clip but internet classic a viral clip scene 7 Love it He laughs! Ha ha! Same shot.

Why is she upset? Yep. Oh, gobble gobble. Oh my god! Oh An amazing scene. Why is he such a villain? Why is he, we don't show him being so like bond level villainry or villainy. Like there is nothing, yet he looks back on this carnage and smiles and laughs like it was his plan all along. And then it makes me think, was he the mystery hand? Yeah.

And also, why is that woman so upset that the guy who has brought her to this party pushes her down earlier. She is pushed down and he abandons her. Then he steals her life jacket, jumps off into the shark's mouth like a fucking idiot. You're telling me he doesn't see the 60 foot. She loves bad boys, Jason.

She loves bad boys. Oh no. How much better would it have been if she was like, yeah, eat shit. And then as she's doing that, the shark eats her. All I'll say about the guy in the sea-doo is, chances are he's riding that sea-doo way into the lower intestine of that shark.

He's not dead for a bit. That shark is a swallowing people whole. Those people are living in that shark for hours. This is like Pinocchio. Hours there in that shark. When the torpedo hits, many of the people inside are still alive. Wow.

I also really, I could not make heads or tails of why some of the guests were saved on that one life raft. It just didn't get around to eating them, I think. And also, it also appeared, based on outfits of people jumping off, it appeared to me that two-thirds of the people on the boat were cater waiters. Yes. Yeah. Like they just, they definitely died first. They were like dress them like a cater waiter. Jump off. Yep. They knew that shit went bad. They're like, I'm getting the fuck out of here. I don't get paid enough for this. Now I will say that we didn't talk about going to church.

One of the best moments in this movie where I'm like, well, this is a detour I didn't expect. I remember. He's like, well, we got to, before we go kill the shark, we got to do something. Then they cut to the church, and they were lighting like a vigil candle and they're like, let's pray on it.

This was crazy. I forgot about it. It was like a Kirk Cameron movie. Did we just go? I forgot about it. I mean, what happened here? It was so crazy that I agree with June. I had erased it from my mind.

Me too. I didn't even make a note of it. I forgot about it. Simply because it makes so little sense in the movie that you almost wanna be like, they can't have meant this. So I shouldn't talk about it. I'm embarrassed.

Well, I'm just surprised that a very religious man is having so much sex out of wedlock. Now before we go talk to the audience, I think we do need to talk about the line. Before we do, I really just want to say, because I've mentioned it, but we have to talk about this line from Captain Jack Harkness. That's it. Should we play it? When our fellowship finally assembles, and it's Captain Jack Harkness and it's old man McCain, and they're like, we've got explosives,

she has a crossbow, they've got the tornado, they've got the whole thing, and they're gonna, we're gonna leave here at eight a.m., late start. Late start, honestly, sunrise probably at 5.36. For a seafaring mission, when I've gone on fishing trips, you have to be there at five. Also, leave now, be on the water, be ready. Anyway, she goes, I'm pretty wiped out,

he goes, I'm pretty wiped. What do you say I take you home and eat your pussy? Boom! That's the line. Hard cut to him kissing her shoulders. I don't know who taught him what the pussy is, but they got it wrong He motorboats her and kisses her shoulders. That's it Also in the shower. I'm like can't these people do something dry? These guys love the water I do want to hear him say it. Let's see scene six. Thank you All right, you two. Get some sleep, huh? Yes, sir. We'll meet back here at 8 a.m.

Don't be late. I'm exhausted. Yeah, me too, but you know I'm really wired. What do you say I take you home and eat your pussy? That's what I'm thinking. Ugh! Now, I will reveal my little bit of research. Alright, we can cut out again.

I will give a hundred dollars to everybody who says that to their partner tonight, upon leaving this venue. Before you read whatever you have, Paul, whatever research online you've done about that... Um... Why... Whatever reason your computer's now full of viruses. Whatever that is that you've pulled up, um... I do have to... Because I went back and watched this a few times.

It was stunning. I've never, God, I was so stunned. Same. I was really, like, I was really stunned. But here's what was interesting. It's the line before that I think is very connected to the actual line. And the line before is that he's really wired. And so it's like there's something about him that whenever he gets wired and like can't slow his mind down and like can't focus and you know, it's just like mind racing, like

he has to eat pussy. Yeah. Like, yeah, it's just like mind racing. Like he has to eat pussy. Yeah. Like it's like regulating for him. Yes. That's his meditation, June. Yeah, it's like that's his, that's his Xanax. I just had, I just had an espresso. Can I go home and eat your pussy?

Oh my God, that affogato was good. I need to eat your pussy right now. And I love that about him. By the way, I'm also going to guarantee when you're wired eating somebody's pussy, it's not good. That's how you do it tonight. Tonight, you're like, oh man. That show is so good. I'm so wired.

What do you say I take you home and eat your pussy? Before you read whatever it is you found. It's also like, what was it? Was it a joke? If it was, it worked. Aand percent. What a home run. You make none of the shots you don't take. It would have been amazing if we had seen him use that line earlier on someone else. But it's also what's so crazy is unlike the other men, I can't stop thinking about this line.

Unlike the other men in the movie who are so overtly sexual and harassing and disgusting and patronizing, he really isn't, or maybe I've just lost the plot a little bit. But I- No, he's also charming. He's charming and he seems to be interested in her and what she has to offer as a marine book biologist or a paleontologist.

He's not just objectifying her ass in her cargo shorts. Exactly. And other people are saying that he's a womanizer, but I feel like we didn't really see that. He's a nice Catholic man who cares about protecting the people of this resort. Which is... He stands up for his morals. He leaves major evidence of a dinosaur in his boss's office. Which, by the way, like, so when he said that, when he said that, I was like, yeah, you can say that, buddy.

Yeah. You can absolutely say that. And it's, I'm not surprised at all that they go and do it. The hard cut to it happening. I wish it was a hard cut to him between her legs because the shower is not... Let's go for it. You say it, let's go for it. Now can I reveal something?

Yeah, go ahead. All right. Because I think that you can attack this a similar way. That entire line was improvised. I'm not surprised. Because it's funnier and more specific than every other line in the movie. And I know that because it's underlined and bolded

in my notes because I cackled so hard and for so long that I was like, this is electric. So I will say that. It was the only moment in the movie where I was like, there's something happening. Something real just happened. Something is happening between these two people. There's an energy in the air.

I'm curious. I want to watch her. I want to watch her face. Assuming she doesn't know it's coming. She doesn't know it's coming. What he was told was to kind of like put a cap on the scene. Right? Ooh, boy, did he ever.

And what we need. Hey, Captain Jack Harkness, what we need is a button for this scene. A blow. And he's like, oh, I've Captain Jack Harkness, what we need is a button for this scene. A blow, yeah. He's like, oh, I've got a literal button that I can work. I'll work that button. And I just want to, before we watch it, just go like,

so we have to assume the entire line is improvised, the wired part too. So this is all coming as an improvisation. So, and we can take it from here. Okay. All right, you two. Get some sleep, huh? So then we can take it from here. Okay. All right, you two. Get some sleep, huh? Yes, sir.

We'll meet back here at 8 a.m. Don't be late. I'm exhausted. Yeah, me too, but you know, I'm really wired. What do you say I take you home and eat your pussy? Now she just smiles. He is rubbing like he's like, you can tell he's a little nervous about saying it. Well, you can tell he's got it.

He's got it locked in. He's got it locked in. He's like, he's like looking down with a sly smile, like, I got it. I got it. Yeah, we're going home early tonight. They kept it in even though it's legitimately terrible coverage. It's like on him here.

It's terrible, but it works so well. But it's better that it's not directly on him. Now, he said the director had no response to it, so he was very shocked when he showed this movie to his nephews. Now I have some issues, because if that was the first moment, he was shocked with his nephews.

He's got a low threshold. The line has been since dubbed to, what do you say, I take you home and watch I Love Lucy. Is that for, wait, what do you mean? On the HBO- Is that for like TV? The TV edit is, why don't I take you home and watch I Love Lucy? And then they hard cut to that shower scene. I would love it if that took off as like a sly way to say that I'm gonna eat your pussy.

Should that be the shirt? I'd like to watch I Love Lucy. Let's go home and watch I Love Lucy. That's our shirt. All right, let's go. Lucy cramming vaginas into her mouth like bonbons. Let's go to the crowd. Let's see what they have here. All right. I'll come down to you. Hello. How are you? What's your name? Dylan.

Dylan, what's your question? So in an interview a couple years ago, the director said that he had to leave early, so the ADR and the visual effects were not his fault. He can't watch this film, should we have? Great question. I have a problem with the director, is like, I had to leave early. Right?

It's not like I had to go pick my kids up from school. You're directing a movie, you can be there for... What a bullshit thing to be like, eh, you know what, I can't take responsibility for what happened because I had to leave early. No, do the job. Now I know that Steven Spielberg left early on the set of Jaws because he knew that the cast

or the crew hated him so much, he was afraid they were gonna dunk him in the water. So when they blew up the shark at the end of Jaws, he was on an airplane out of there. That is a true fact. All right, so what's your name? Owen. And what's your question? Why did the paleontologist bring business cards with her?

Good question. She's networking. Networking! There... Ha ha ha! Got a lot of information on the business card when you see it. And the bird is weird! What's that? It seems that she's being an ornithologist for that bird on the card.

Yes, your name? Steven. Steven, I love it. You're wearing a hoodie. How did this get made, hoodie, which I've never, this is beautiful. Thank you. So what's your question? Not so much a question, more just a little thing for you

and for Jason and June as well. Thanks. Thank you for including us. Thank you so much. You're very welcome. That's nice. So a question for all of us. OK, here we go.

More of a statement. When you guys get to Glasgow, you two have got to get Paul to do that impression of being wired and going down because in Scotland, they refer to Cunnilingus as growling at the badger. And that, first of all, we'll do it 100%. That will be, that's the only way we're gonna do it. I love that. Growling at the badger.

Oh, it would have been so much better if he was like, why don't I take you home and growl at the badger? Growling at the badger. Wow. I would like it if anybody else has great... You know what? Forget it. You creeps.

I'm in balcony one. Okay. Here we go. Let's see. I see you right here. What's your name? Trish. Okay, Trish, what's your question?

They're on this big boat. He's got all these investors there. They've exploded a part of the fiber optic. He's got all these investors there. They've exploded a part of the fiber optic cable and what he had the investors there was to invest in another large portion that was kind of global. What do you think the economic fallout from this one shark attack would have for the world? I loved too that when we kept cutting back to not head apex guy from the C-Dew, but the two guys in the room of the map.

Forgot about those guys. I kept calling them earring and ponytail. And then in their third beat, they're smoking a joint. I was like, these guys are part of Apex? What is this? They're referred to as code monkeys by the main Apex. Yeah, weren't they referred to as code monkeys? Yeah.

But they had such direct access to our- Do you want to make the call? I don't want to make the call. What? My favorite thing about- Apex, I think, only has 11 employees. My favorite thing about the Apex office is when John McCain goes to visit the head of Apex, the blinds are closed.

Clearly they had no view or something terrible had gone on outside. To close the blinds in an all-windowed office was a bold, I guess maybe sun was coming in, I don't know. But it was shocking. Like, oh, and then this part of the office was clearly just like, that's the whole, that's fiber optics for the world? These two guys?

They look like two people who work with Homer Simpson. It's like, yes! Hey, Homer, it's that. hey Homer it's that it's really it is that that dumb and I don't know if we've already covered this but what is apex want to do exactly cables underwater cables AT&T what I don't know alright yes your name David David and what's your question well one quick thing I love that in a line from the CEO, they managed to get in the line, Jurassic Shark. Oh, I missed that.

And similar to the internet search earlier, there was a bit in the submarine where he rerouted the torpedo by typing onto the screen, new target for torpedo, and that's it. That is amazing. Great catch. I'm in balcony two. Balcony two. Paul be careful. Be careful Paul they're already standing. So you have your question written down and I like I like that. So here you go what's your name and your question. Well I don't really have a question. Okay. You have something written down. So I looked up, we actually, I'm sorry my name is Susan. Hi Susan. At the beginning his partner

which we referred to as Mr. Vamonos, I looked it up on IMDB and he is an actor who is described as George is a full-fledged Bulgarian lad born in Sofia, Bulgaria to real live Bulgarian parents yet he has is attempting a Mexican accent. Gotcha so we're talking about full-on Bulgarian doing Mexican you have a problem with that. Real live Bulgarian parents. Well I have a problem with that real live Bulgarian parents real well I have an issue with his IMDB profile yes I feel like he wrote it seems as though he's being accused of being born to dead Bulgarians and they're like no well there's a lot of there's a lot of there's a lot of stolen Bulgarian parent valor out there so yes okay oh oh okay. Oh there's actual sharks. Oh over there.

All right, I'll go to the sharks. Here we get our sharks. Hey sharks. We don't have so much as a question as there's a line. Sharks are always biting things and it really spun me out where I was thinking about how many animals have an opportunity to not just bite things. How many animals have opposable thumbs? You just want to reflect on sharks, that that's all they can do, right? We're like penalizing them for just being. I was wrestling with that same line because I just felt like how do we know they like to bite things? I thought also this shark was calling out that they might need a dentist.

The teeth are dropping at an aggressive rate, especially for a baby. Why are so many teeth coming out? I will reveal that every so often I do a Google search, Google image search. I thought you were going to say you follow a shark on TikTok. Is it mystery shark? I do a Google image search of just X-rays of sharks' heads to see all of their... What are you talking about? I'm not proud of this.

And I'm sure I'm on some sort of a list, but I do a search and I look at pictures of all of the teeth in that shark's skull. Oh, I was like, what are you looking for? Like, what do you want to know? I'm looking for teeth. What's in there? I'm looking for teeth. What's in there? I'm looking for teeth. Okay. And do you, and they got them. And I'm finding them.

They got row after row of those teeth. Row after row after row. So you got a lot of teeth come out, yep. I don't want to put you on the spot. You know, as somebody I perform with you and you're also my wife, I don't like to put you in a position. I don't like to put you in a position where you will be exposed, but this gentleman came up to me at first and was like, he might be too drunk to ask a question, but he revealed

himself as having a very good question and it is coming after you. So here you go. June, how do you feel about being in a country of male tea drinkers? Oh, yeah. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay everyone. I can take it. Fantastic question. It's such a good question. I've had so much tea in the last ten days. Yeah. 10 days. Yeah. Let him have it.

Here's what I'll say. No, I'm absolutely here for this question and I can stand in my power right now. I will say this, there's a dampness here that has chilled me to the bone. Where I feel like every night I must sit in a bathtub with hot water and I have thought to myself, even though I have such a distaste for tea drinkers, I am putting myself in a pot of tea every night and soaking in there. And so I have had, I've had a couple moments of understanding and

sympathy, but I can't tell you that I feel great about male tea drinkers. I don't. I'm not there. I'm not there. But I'm closer than I was before. So, and that's just, that's, that is my, that's just me being honest. I love it when I get to the hotel, I order a little pot of tea up to the room. Well, this is what I wanted to say. So I'm feeling a little bit more understanding for British, British tea drinkers, American tea drinkers,

American male specifically tea drinkers. Too Disgusting. Careful. Disgusting. Why are you so elderly? Fucking, that's gross. Have a glass of water or have a beer or a drink.

At night? And stop it. Cut it out. Cut it out. Cut have a beer or a drink. And stop it. Cut it out. Cut it out. Cut it out. Be a man. I am in the upper balcony. All right.

It's a good looking bunch here. Hi. How are you? What's your name? Zach. Zach, your question. So in the scene where the baby shark perfectly seals the boat and they are continuously kicking,

she, our leading lady, came in to specifically grab a shotgun and blast the brains out of that baby shark. However, as soon as the shark comes in, she decides to do a lateral pass and chuck the shotgun as far as she can across the room. And I just wondered why? Well I think she's wrestling with the fame of finding a dinosaur or or killing a dinosaur and saving her life. She's constantly conflicted. I mean we talked

about her before but she looks at death all the time so she's not really she's like I don't care that people die that's my job I'm a paleont, she's like, ah, I don't care that people die. That's my job. I'm a paleontologist. She's like Luther. But the moment, because I had that experience too, watching her reaction and the way she threw that rifle, it didn't feel like she was conflicted,

like, oh, I don't want to hurt this shark. It felt like, oh no, I've been caught with a gun. Yeah. It was absolutely bizarre. You know, her reactions too, the way she reacted to the parasailor at the edge of the boat initially, she seemed excited. Yeah. Yeah, no, I agree. She was excited to see her flail about.

I agree, and to piggyback off of the question up there, I do believe the movie for quite some time is trying to establish her as a villain. Like Captain Jack Harkness is kind of like, hey, do you want to kill this thing or do you want to like love this thing or whatever? He's got some line like that. And then it's like, oh no, Apex are the bad guys and the resort manager is the bad guy. And she comes around and is like, when I saw that woman die, now I want to kill the shark too.

I need to now murder. I've got bloodlust. It's true because it wasn't like... And that's why the line about you're extinct, fucker. No, you're extinct, fucker. It wasn't just like, oh, I'm okay with now protecting human life and valuing it more than shark life. It was like, I'm going to get this shark, this one today. Yeah.

And I will say, the way she blew that shark's brains out. That shark, because the way you started that line. The way she blew. Pause. Pause. But it was so violent. It was like she made the shark commit suicide. I know we said the shark didn't have like opposable thumbs,

but she gave the shark that feeling. Like, it really was looking up through the head. It was, and the brain just came out so gross on the wall. I don't know why they couldn't show it. Why couldn't you show a shark's head exploding? Because they didn't have anything that would allow that. That's true. They had none of it.

And the shotgun is like, pow! It's like, not like that. Doesn't sound like that. They didn't even have the budget for a shotgun sound. Also, when she brings a bucket full of blood. Chum. As chum. It does, when they throw it out, it looks like, oh, that is grape juice.

Yep. There was like, I've always seen chum in movies is like guts and fish and blood. This is like jello before you put it in the fridge. Absolutely. All right, well, obviously we have opinions about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions. Our friend from Greece is back.

Oh, actively being booed! Wow! So, I'm Petros the Greek guy, and I'm gonna sing a song about my experience last night waiting for our hosts in the cold of the night and Megalodon. And it goes like this. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. stars help me now I saw stars in the air clap your hands for me five stars were everywhere everybody clap your hands clap your hands and it goes give me give me give me a second opinion socks were all stock food that's bad I gave it five stars give me give me give me a second opinion Bulgaria plays Mexico I gave it five stars give me give me give me a

second opinion Megalodon Oh, wow. Baby, don't break it. You got it. You got it. You get out on the high. No, walk away. Walk away. You got it.

You got it on the high. Yes! Hey! Yes! He's back! He's back, baby! He did it. He did it.

He did it. He redeemed himself. He redeemed himself. That was great. Bravo, Dave. Bravo. You got to win. You got him back. Here we go. He did it.

All right. There are a lot of reviews of Shark Attack 3, Megalodon. No, I'm lying. There aren't. There are 195 total reviews. Just to put that in perspective, sometimes we do films that have 40,000 reviews. So 195. 40% are five star reviews and I'm gonna say this a lot of them were written in jest so we have to dig through to kind of find which ones actually really are standing the test of truth here. And that's something that someone's job is, is to sift through the reviews.

Yes. Molly Reynolds goes, reads through all of these and goes, all right, I think this is real, I think this is fake. Then I read hers and go, I think that one's a fake one. It got through you. There's a lot of levels here of protection going on. This is from Eileen McHenry. It was reviewed in 2017. And she writes, you will never see another movie like this one. Let's just hope it never happens in real life. Five stars.

never happens in real life. Five stars. A. And Tyrion writes this review. So we're watching the FX channel, and all of a sudden, this great white shark shows up, and my son is sold. He thinks it's the best thing ever. Little did I know that when I purchased the movie, there were naked people and sex scenes. This is the part I don't understand,

but I'm gonna read it as written. My grandpa tell me, you know shark movie has naked men and women? Embarrassed? Yes. Nonetheless, if my five-year-old likes it, it can't be that bad. Is that a barometer?

Is that a reliable barometer? I don't know, but there's also a moment here of, like, he's playing out a scene where, like... Yeah, I don't like this at all and the reality is you only need to watch the trailer to see that there's nudity in this movie he's saying you watch the I love Lucy version and they got the DVD he got the let's go eat the pussy version. You're right, you're right. All right, and. I like that we're calling it the I Love Lucy version. That may be the shirt.

Release the I Love Lucy version. That's really all the reviews fit to read. But maybe I'll end on this one from Sheriff of Rottingham. I am now so afraid to go into the ocean, even on a big boat, because the Megalodon eats boats. I thought this movie would be bad and rip off all the Jaws movies, but boy I was wrong. I love the cinematography and the chemistry between the main characters was through the roof. I threw my popcorn in the air when the Megalodon first surfaced.

It scared the living daylights out of me. You need to buy this movie now. If you don't have it already, I guarantee this will be your favorite movie ever. Five stars, incredible cinematic action. The Megalodon looks real. And again, I can't tell if that's really real. I'm worried about that person. Me too, because it felt a little too real. Yeah. I threw my popcorn in the air? Just so you know, this is a sequel. The first movie is called Shark Attack.

It is about an African fishing village starring Casper Van Diem. And then the second movie is called Shark Zone, about a man who has a fear of sharks, who is forced by a Russian crime syndicate to get a Russian, to get a second treasure, where there's a bunch of sharks down there. And they use all the same shots from the first movie and the second movie in this third movie. They use 10 minutes of footage from Shark Zone in Shark 3. And the film Shark Zone also goes by Jurassic Shark. So this is the third film there. And there's no budget, of course.

There is a... There's no budget listed. There was a budget. There was a budget, but we don't know what it was. All I can tell you is this. This movie came out in 2002, like I mentioned. It came out the same years as Britney Spears Crossroads, Adventures of Pluto Nash, The Country Bears, Master of Disguise, Rollerball, and Killing Me Softly. That's all this. We've

done, this is a good year for our show, 2002. And a bad year for our show 2002 and a bad year for cinema Look terrorists just attacked. We were like we greenlight all these movies We don't know anymore This is all we have I will say that the director of this movie also directed a number of x-rated films under the pseudonym Sven Conrad so X-rated films under the pseudonym Sven Conrad. So Sven Conrad? Yes. Wow.

Is that why he left early to get back to his real work? He also reused some footage from those movies in this movie film. Okay, so would you recommend this film? Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely. Five stars.

Honestly, it was enjoyable to watch. I obviously wish the big mama shark came out earlier. Same. Sure. But when you find out they only had ten minutes of shots they could use, they got the most out of them. They did everything but make the shark come down from above as if the shark was in the sky. I will say for that moment alone and for that line of dialogue,

this is worth it. Yeah. This is, I mean, maybe a phenomenal movie. And again, we are not a well people up here. So, see if that helps. I will say, yeah, it takes me for a movie to take my breath away three times, which it did. Take my breath away.

It was truly a joy to watch. I mean, this movie is, it's got it all. And it's got that great jet ski into the shark's mouth at the end. And the best headline. It's got people jumping into the sharks. I mean the action is top-notch. Phenomenal. And the last line is pretty killer. Megalohu. Doesn't make sense? No, but it feels right. That didn't matter. And that's this whole movie. It feels so right.

Fantastic. I loved every goddamn minute of it. I did too. Truly, I did too. Here's what I'll say. It was a beautiful day here in London. Gorgeous spring day. Give it up. It's a gloomy, it's oftentimes a gray, gloomy city. I went to, Paul, and I'm certain your book will be there, this is a plug for your book. I wanna shout out Chris from Daunt Books in Marleybone.

Yes. Daunt Books, Chris, a fan of the show who couldn't make it tonight because he's working selling books. So give it up for Chris right now at Daunt Books, who's doing the work. Pre-order from Daunt Books. Who's gonna be selling Paul's book.

But you guys, I had to leave a beautiful day to go back to the hotel to watch this pile of garbage. And I couldn't have loved it more. Jason, we'll one up you. We made our children sit in the hotel room while we watched it without them. We're like, you sit over there and we sit one up you. We made our children sit in the hotel room while we watched it without them. We're like, you sit over there and we sit in this corner. You don't look over here.

Yeah. Don't talk to us for 90 minutes. Don't ask us for anything. Those, I love that their experience is just like every once in a while watching you guys be like. But also separately. We were watching it separately. You're not watching the same screen?

No. Oh, of course not. No, heavens no. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you. Thank you everybody who came out. Jason Manzoukas, Jude Diane Ranfield. Thank you to all of you who came out tonight. Thank you.

You did it. Thank you for coming. Give it up for Paul Scheer. Good night everybody. Eat shit shit London. But wait, the episode is not over. No, if you wanna be a part of our live audience. Well, I guess you can't be a part of your live audience,

but you can feel like it by getting a brand new t-shirt made just for this film or a sticker or a mug, whatever you want. T-Public got you covered. Go to tpublic.com slash stores slash HDTGM. And if you're in London, my book is available in London. That's right, go to Waterstones. Joyful Recollections of Trauma is there. If you want me to personalize your book,

go to my website paulshear.com. And if you've bought my book, continue to rate it and review it on Amazon and Goodreads. It really, really helps and I've been blown away by the reaction. I just want to thank you, but I also want to thank everybody in London who brought Shark Attack 3 to life. I'm talking about the staff at the Hackney Empire, our tour manager Beth Thomas, and our recording engineer Matt Rice. If you have a correction or omission from this episode, leave me a voicemail at 619-P-A-U-L-A-S-K or write a comment on our Discord at Discord.gg slash H-D-T-G-M and then make sure to tune

in next week to our last looks follow-up episode on Shark Attack 3 to hear me respond to your messages and announce the next movie on our hot shark summer series. Jason and I will also talk with Jordan Morris, who you might remember him from our skyline episode. He's got a grand new book coming out, which is great. We're talking about graphic novels, comic con music, and a lot more. Remember, if you listen on Apple podcasts or Spotify, please make sure that you are subscribed to our feed and have automatic downloads turned on in the show settings.

It helps us and we appreciate it. And last but not least, I got to thank our entire team to whom this show could not be done without. I'm talking about our producers, Scott Sonny and Molly Reynolds and our movie picking producer, Avery Halley and our engineer Casey Holford and our associate producer, Jess Cisneros. People, one thing that you didn't know about me is I'm in Twisters. Go see it this weekend. Anyway, that's all I got. know about me is I'm in Twisters. Go see it this weekend. Anyway, that's all I got. See you next week on Last Looks. Until

then, bye for now.