How Did This Get Made? - The 3rd "Annual" Howdie Awards (Part 2)

Episode Date: January 2, 2026

Will Jason finally take home a prize for his empty Howdie sack?! Find out as we conclude the 3rd "Annual" Howdie Awards with banger categories like Best Paul Childhood Story, Best Jason Rant, Best Second Opinion Song, and Best Guest Appearance. Plus, the Howdie Academy proudly awards a special Lifetime Achievement Howdie for Best Nerd in the Audience. And remember, make sure to view the photo of young Paul kissing his mom at www.paulscheer.com/pervert • Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, FAQs, and more• Have a Last Looks correction or omission? Call 619-PAULASK to leave us a voicemail!• Submit your Last Looks theme song to us here• Join the HDTGM conversation on Discord: discord.gg/hdtgm• Buy merch at howdidthisgetmade.dashery.com/• Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of Trauma• Shop our new hat collection at podswag.com• Paul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheer• Paul’s YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheer• Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer• Subscribe to Enter The Dark Web w/ Paul & Rob Huebel: youtube.com/@enterthedarkweb• Listen to Unspooled with Paul & Amy Nicholson: unspooledpodcast.com• Listen to The Deep Dive with June & Jessica St. Clair: thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcast• Instagram: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & @junediane• Twitter: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & msjunediane  • Jason is not on social media• Episode transcripts available at how-did-this-get-made.simplecast.com/episodesGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome back to the third How Did This Get Made Howdy Awards, where we'll be continuing our celebration of the finest moments of the last nine years of the How did This Get Made podcast. If you haven't listened to Part One yet, what are you doing? This isn't like Surf 2. You know that movie we cover that didn't actually have a part one? So make sure you've heard part one, and then go ahead and listen to my good friend, Tall John Shear, take it away. Hello, people of Earth, and welcome back to part two of the Howdy Awards. We are just getting started.

Let's get into it right now with our next category. Best subject of a Jason rant. And the nominees are Jessica St. Clair's Fabergeet Eggs from episode 181, Free Jack. Why have we decided that Faberge eggs are the universal symbol of something priceless? I think my relatives in South Philly had a couple of those Faberge eggs. Wait, what? No. Yes, right?

No, no, no. With like the Limoge, you know, like the shepherd girl. With a shepherd girl? No, they had like Yadro figurines. Yadros, isn't that the same as a Faberge egg? What are you? You're acting like, you see a little. Where have you seen a Fabergete egg?

Where? Your family imported them for a grace. No family has. Nobody has Fabergete eggs. Have you lost your mind? You're insane like, oh, my family had Faberge eggs and Hummel figurines. Same. Are you insane? That is categorically impossible.

Faberge eggs are something Google it, Paul. Google it. I did. How fucking expensive is a Faberge eggs were made between 1885 and 1917. They were made for the Russian Tsars, Alexander III, Nicholas II, as Easter gifts for their wives and mothers.

How many of them are in South Philly? Just a quick count. How many are currently in South Philly? I will tell you this. So there are 65 known Faberge egg. Oh, okay. It's fine. And one of them is in my grandmother's house.

Only 57 have survived to the present day. Okay. 10 are displayed in the Kremlin. Okay, okay. So that leaves, how many? That leaves some 40 odd. So, oh, yes, you are so wrong. You're incredibly wrong.

You are outrageously wrong. Wait a second. You just said on the podcast, I think my family in South Philly has a couple, a couple of Faberge eggs at their own. In South Philly. Let me just say something.

Yins don't have any Fabresche eggs in South Philly. The Stripster Club, strip club, from episode 193, Blues Brothers 2000. So I'm passing to Jason, I'm passing to Jason the logo of the club, which is in neon. It says, Stripster. June has fallen out of her seat. No! That's it. Black it out. We're going home.

Thank you, Chicago. This has been great. The show is over. The series is over. It's a wrap on how did this get made. You did it, Akroyd. You broke the show. Congratulations.

Your dream came true. Holy shit. Stripster Club. What world are we living? that's not cool what and like my good friend paul says and no titties you're gonna call it a stripster club and you're not even gonna let scribbles get an eyeball on some titty's come on acroyd if i'm not getting hard 2,000 times then why am i seeing blues brothers 2,000 here i get who am i read read read stripster nope not doing it jim

Balushi! What? Stripster Club? Fuck you, movie! The audience in Detroit complaining about the Ugi Loves. From episode 306, The Ugi Loves in the Big Balloon Adventure.

I'm Dave Ugi Love. Great. Dave, what's your question? I just want to know if you knew that Real Steel was filmed here. Real Steel, the Hugh Jackman movie, yeah. Was that an option? No.

What does this? This was the only option. Wait, what's his name? What's your name? Dave. Dave. Fuck you. We watched Ugi Loves. You watched Ugi Loves. We made you watch it.

Nothing else was considered. Oogie Loves. And if we come back to Detroit, Oogie Loves, too. Put your phone down. Put your phone down. What I love is that people think that we didn't know there are other choices.

Here's the guarantee. Here's my promise to you. I hated this movie. I hated every goddamn second. I suffered through this movie. If we come back to this town, we're going to watch every goddamn sequel of these movies

just because you whined about it. Detroit, toughen up! You're supposed to be strong, Detroit. Bring it! Ooh, no. That I remember, the audience in Detroit, they were so mad. People were telling me in Detroit,

they were like, I want a refund. I would have never have come to this show. And this is the fun. anything about it. It's not as if we are doing this week on the show you know, one battle after another, sinners. And then

we're like, oh, but Detroit will do ugly loves. Like, they act as if we have shocked them with the choice. Like, it's bad? Why did we get such a bad one? To this day. To this day I have not yet. Seventy one episodes or

whatever it is later have not seen a reaction like Detroit. If you are complaining, about the bad movie that you've been forced to watch for this show, just please remind yourself, you don't need to watch it. You don't need to listen to this. You can unsubscribe. Well, you know, why don't you subscribe, but then, you know, following us does help the whole thing.

Sorry, sorry. You know, you can subscribe someone else. Yeah, yeah, that's the right way. Anyway, this is an award that I've been, you know, look, it's been, means a lot to me, obviously. Wait, whoa, whoa, what do you mean it means a lot to you? I think that if I'm not, if I've not misunderstood this, I can't lose this award. Well, we'll see.

Well, I mean, look, you're right. You know, you came in here. I didn't think you're going to win an award. So this is a Jason rant. So this is tailor made for me. Let's see. The howdy for best subject of a Jason rant goes to Jessica St. Clair's Fabergeet eggs from episode 181, Free Jack. Wow.

But wait. Congratulations, Jessica. Wait, no, Jessica gets it? Well, I mean... Oh, no. Well, yeah, Jessica, I'm so sorry. Jessica, we're going... Scott, that's supposed to go to Jessica, right?

Correct. Well, wait a minute. Well, it goes to her eggs. Her eggs? Yeah, don't... Yeah, don't... Yeah, don't think we should be talking about St. Clair's eggs on the podcast like this. This is, like, very personal.

But, you know, Jessica got it, and let's not take anything away from Jess. I think, okay, but that is bullshit, because you're telling me... Listen, it is hard. This one, this one I can... I know is a hard loss for you. But actually, as I sit here and think about it, it really should go to Jessica's eggs. Thank you.

But my rants are my thing. My rants are, I'm all, if I'm nothing if not for my rants. I know, but if you have nothing to rant about, then. Okay. You know what? I see what's happening. Okay. The writing's on the wall.

Okay. No. All right. I get it. You know what? I'm just going to fold my sack up and I'm going to put it over here because I know. Nothing's going in this sack. sack. I mean, look, it is. It's a stuff sack. It's a Tom Bin soft stuff sack. Boy, I'd love it if Tom Bin made Howdy's sacks. I love it. Yes. I do think it would be nice if maybe you talk to Jessica and. Oh, God. Do I have to? And the Howdy spent a little time in her place and a little time in your place. You know what? Oh, Shared Cust. Okay. Jason, this is maybe for you. New Rule. Jason, right? That's what you always do whenever you do your rant. Is this club random?

I thought that's not the way you do it. Whenever you get into a rant, you go, New Rule, right? No, I, that's Bill Mar. Oh, I thought that was you. Oh, wow. This is, this is humbling. New Rule. Next year, Jason Will.

Get a howdy. Anyway, yeah. But I mean, that next year is probably in nine years. There could be another Howdy Award show in a week or eight years. We don't know. I do you think that that's fun is to just like, you don't, because we don't know when the award show will happen like we actually can't really pander it's that's true you know what you mean it's like you got to be engaged all the time you know that all the

oscar movies are coming out in december like for us it's just like we got to be ready whenever whenever at the drop of a hat yeah at the drop of a dead fred um we might be called upon to howdy well here's a thing you know we've been giving out a lot of awards i've certainly taken my fair share I'm like the studio here. And I'm going to tell you that tonight, we're not just taking home awards for ourselves. We're also opening it to everyone. And our next award is not an award necessarily, but a lifetime achievement. Lifetime achievement for Best Nerd in the audience.

That's right. We want to honor one of our favorite nerds ever. There has been a lot of audience nerds who have stood out over the years. We have Pete the S-man, Tim from Largo, Ben Cannon, Leah from Chicago, Jafar, that's just to name a few. I love our ultimate fans, the ones who come in costumes, the ones who come with a notepad, the ones, remember that guy for the Blues Brothers episode who came with a binder, a full binder? It's amazing to me, like, people come in costumes, people come, do all sorts of things, but the people who've done their own incredible research and come, prepared to give us the information that we're looking for. I feel like Tim is always good for that at Largo.

Tim, I actually have to say is the best nerd in the sense that he then never makes it about himself. Tim is like under the radar. Yes. Like in this category, I think. Yeah. I agree. I feel like Tim shares like despite himself.

Like he's not, you know, he's just trying to get information out, but he takes no pleasure in the spotlight. No, not at all. The only spotlight he seeks is just to attack James Acaster. Yes, yes. Oh, my God, I forgot about that. Now, you were saying that James Acaster did stumble upon that shirt that we made James Projector. He did text me and say, what is this?

I did not realize that. The James Projector shirt. She did not realize that we would actually make the shirt that we did today we were going to make in the show. Oh, my God. By the way, speaking of shirts. we have re-released our first two shirts are a ridiculous cage shirt and our what's its mission shirts you can get them in the tea public store all right so without any further ado though i i think that there is one one nerd who rose to legendary status he showed up in philadelphia and knew something about dungeons and dragons knew everything about dungeons and dragons knew everything we gave him the mic he did not abuse that power he wielded it gently and justly, like no other audience member ever did before. Here, take a listen.

I'm letting Morgan hold the mic because I trust a DM. I trust a Dungeons and Dragons person with the mic. They understand their role. This is respect. And now let me ask you one more question. This is probably the nerdiest question I'll have. Talk to me about dragons.

Yeah, so this movie definitely went for more of like a Game of Thrones feel to their dragons, but like in Dungeons and Dragons, their dragons are like intelligent creatures. They're very like proud and vain and they have like treasure hordes and some of them are evil and some of them are good. And for some reason the good ones are named after crayons in the box and the, sorry, the bad ones are crans in the box and the good ones are metallic. Yeah. And gold. Okay, so, so, okay, this is so helpful. This is so helpful. This is so helpful. Now, can I add? I'm just going to be

Yeah It's just like We didn't prompt this chant This is an organic chant You know what You could take out your phones to take a picture of Morgan Yeah Out of curiosity

Morgan As a D and D I'm assuming Fans in childhood question mark Is? Pretty much Pretty much Did you have feelings on this specific movie when it came out. Great question, Jason.

Thank you, June. Yeah, were you excited about it? Yeah, that was a great question. I'm vain like a dragon. Oh, Magenta Manzuka. Ooh, with my hoard of treasure and gold like Smauk. Smog is actually a great example of like... Go to hell, Morgan!

was just going to say Smok is a great example of like what D&D Dragons are actually like. I did not see this movie as a child, actually, probably because my parents shielded me from it. I wasn't even aware until it was announced for this that this was a movie. Oh, wow. Okay, there we go.

And how did you feel about it just in general? Do you have thoughts? It was so bad. Yeah. Morgan gets it. The rest of you fucking idiots don't. I hated it. Yeah.

So, okay, and then I, I will let you go, I think. Or maybe you have to pull up another chair. Do we have a fourth chair? But, but, um, when you're a player in the game, can, like, could I sign, like, could I join as a dragon or I'd be a thief or I'd be an elf? You could join as a dragon at certain tables. Got it. You've said enough. I'm not welcome everywhere.

It's not a default assumption that you can do that. Let me say this. If you're inviting me to play your D&D game, I better be able to be a goddamn check. If you want to play in my D&D game, you can be a goddamn drink. I'm in. Wow. I don't think I can, though.

Here's what I'm going to say. I want to let Morgan get back to his seat. Where is your seat? Morgan, are you far away? Middleware. Can we let Morgan take it? the mic with him but kill the sound in case we need him to pipe up he can stay at his chair yeah all right take the mic you can do it wow okay thank you morgan give it up for morgan

a philadelphia hero and that's why our howdy for best nerd in the audience goes to the one the only morgan from episode 335 dungeon the dragons and here is morgan accepting this prestigious award. I actually don't appreciate being called a nerd. No, it's like, no, I totally do. It makes me so happy when a fellow nerd is pulled from the audience and called a Morgan. I just want to thank Paul, Jason, June, Scott, and all my fellow Philly freaks who let me be a part of that show. It was the coolest thing that's ever happened to me or will ever happen to me. And I'm coming to terms with that, I promise. Also, Jason, come play your magenta dragon at my table, coward.

Oh, wow. Okay. I will. Wow. And he just ended on that. That was a real mic throwdown. He really, a real challenge. Yeah.

Oh, and I'm expecting, like, right down. I wasn't expecting that kind of acceptance speech. So it's interesting to see what people do in these big moments. Do you see this? And I just got this note pass from Scott here that on behalf of Morgan's since he couldn't be here, I will take the Morgan's Award. I will worry about it. At the end of his thing, he addressed me.

Yeah, well, yeah, but I'm going to take it right now for him. I don't know if you got room in the sack anymore. I got room in the sack. I mean, if anything, Scott should send it to Morgan. We'll figure that. I think again, it's about. We're not to be in Philadelphia anytime soon. We were just there.

Come on now. Come on now. Why do you, I have a quick question. Why do you already have so much? much shelf space cleared out in the in the bookshel's behind you. I was hoping. I was hoping. You're hoping or you knew? I was just, I thought, look, look, okay, everybody needs to chill the fuck out. All right. I'm taking care of these awards, okay? Taking care of them. All right. All right. I know how to protect these awards better than anyone else. Okay. I know these awards thrive here.

The third annual Howdy Awards will return after a brief word from our sponsors. These awards thrive here. Anyway, our next category. Best Second Opinion Song. And the nominees are Ned and Rachel's riff on One Day More from episode 200, Action Jackson. I saw a film on Amazon, a most confounding contradiction. But its true fans will carry on. They hold the truth of their convictions.

Now they man the barricade. Do you hear what people say? Hence the tide of poor of you in. They don't care what critics think. They will give a passing grade If you don't like it, then you're dumb. They will give it all five stars. One star more.

It is simply their opinion, not the first but second. All five stars. That this movie is fantastic. It's just stupid. And the race is all but... I like the Meg! And the haters and the losers can go off. and boil their heads.

Go ahead and give the Oscar. Are you hearing what I said? Because the only thing that matters now is this my second opinion. Give it a for Ned and Rachel. Jed's riff on Take On Me from episode 222, Unforgettable. wipe and wait because I've got a lot

to say I'll say it in all caps and definitely defend this big hunk of crap till it makes sense as I write this from my parents' basement take it from me I'm not

wrong This is my suck it up in you Anna's riff on Anna's riff on Can't Fight the Moonlight From episode 294, Moonfall The Moonfall

But don't throw a fit Just get in the Lexus now If you think the moon won't fall Well you'd better call Patrick Wilson Hallie Berry and Fuzz Aldrin the cat Megastructures and weird shit like that Need these second opinion stat

You can try to resist How bad this movie is But you know Disgraced astronauts Can't fight the moonlight Deep in the dark You surrender five stars Because you know

A.I. Tech Un-uh. Fights for the moonlight, whoa. Hope Fletcher Jones is okay. Amazing. Oh my God. Oh my God. That's how it's done. Oh my God. That's how it's done.

We have not standing ovation. Oh, my gosh. What's your name? What's your name? I'm Anna. Anna. Anna, thank you, Anna. Mark and Connor's riff on LMFAO's Shots from episode 320, Bats.

So, uh, I'm Mark. Connor. And now it's time for second opinions. If you ain't watching Bats, get the fuck. Largo. If you ain't a wild elf zoologist with a Special League here Patrick, get the fuck

a la Largo. If you ain't a waste deep in guano, get the fuck out of the Largo. Bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats. Bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats. Everybody!

Bats, bats, bats, bats, bats. Bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats. Everybody. Second opinions on the rocks and I'm ready for some pats. Puck holes. Amazon every time I'm watching

Bax! The reviews Hit 5 stars every time I give them Bats! So cups in the air, everybody, let's watch Bax! Yes! Give it up! Yes! Wow. Great job. All slapping. Just escort them out.

Oh my gosh. Escort them out. Just you guys keep walking straight through the door. So there are 672. I feel like the bats version of shots could chart. And the howdy for best second opinion song goes to Bats, Bats, Bats, Bats. That is Mark and Conner's riff on LMFAO's Shots from episode 329 Bats. That doesn't seem right.

I mean, on. But you know what? It did get the crowd pumped up. Okay. What? I mean, sure, but I just, I feel like we can do better, you know? I mean, look, it's sometimes it's not about the quality. It's about the, it's the audience engagement. I don't want to judge anybody too harshly.

Okay, on to our next category announcer, please. Best Paul Childhood Story. And the nominees are 12-year-old Paul goes to a New York City Strip Club from episode 321, milk money. I did bring my friends into New York City one time. We went to Show World with fake IDs and then... Show World is a strip club. And I went there as a 12-year-old.

Paul. You had a fake ID? Well, you went to the store and you got an NYU ID and it said I was a college student, but I was only 12. And then you showed it to the people at Show World and they would let you in. I think they knew I wasn't in college. Oh, you think? You think?

I like that there's a little, you're not quite sure. You're like, I was chewing on my bubble tape and my... I think they knew I was 12. I was so stop gobstoppers. And there was, there was a moment where I was walking around show world as a 12-year-old. And this woman approached me and she said, do you want to watch me take a shower? And I said, no. Paul, this is a prank.

This is crying. Paul, this movie is your life. Did you sign away life right? Is that why you're mad? You didn't make a cut? Just feel like I could have gotten some better moments in there. And I remember that moment

because I was like, I don't want, I don't want to watch you take a shower. So I'm going to wait outside show world. And I hung outside show world and talked to the bouncer for a long time. Well, my two other friends were doing whatever they were doing. Watching someone take a shower. But before we got the show world,

this guy was like, you want to like meet a... This is crazy. He's like, do you want to meet a show? a sex worker and we'd be like yeah and he started to lead us down an alley and at that point I was like This movie is your life

By the way I just want to go on record We are two hours into the show And only now are you inadvertently admitting and realizing this is your life story on film

I did not put it all together and as we were walking down that alley I said, this is bad, let's go. And then the guys are, where are you guys going? Where are you guys going? We're going to get out of here. And I pulled my friends out, and then we went to Show World.

Yeah, the only difference is he didn't have a gun like this guy did. He might have. We didn't go down far enough than in the alley. Paul's grandma threatens a butcher will grind him into meat from episode 232, Adventures of Pinocchio. My grandmother used to tell me the story when I was a kid that I needed to lock the door to my house. Because when she lived in Garden City, this is my grandmother lived in New York,

she was like, when I lived in Garden City, there was a little boy and he didn't lock his door. And one day, he was in his bed. I already know this is deeply irresponsible.

I've heard, I've heard to have said. And he heard footsteps coming up the stairs, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly. And then he's gotten really nervous. and he got under his bed

and he was under the sheets and the door opened creak it out and then the boy looked and it was the local butcher and he got scared and then all of a sudden the butcher grabbed him

and the mom came home the boy wasn't there and she brought home her chop meat no Paul stop stop it right now what are you talking about and you grandboy

and what and the mother Are you talking about? And then as the mother was making hamburgers for her son She started making hamburgers That the hamburger meat starts like Mama?

No! Mama? Wait. Paul, no. The meat knew? Because the meat was the boy. The meat, but that again, that's, no, once it's

turned into meat, the kid wouldn't know. At that point, It's just meat, you know. Oh, what? That's unreal. I am shaken on my insides. Paul tries to French kiss his mom. From episode 217, Jaws 3D.

I almost, I tried to French my mom after watching Love Boat. I've heard this story before. What is happening right now? Is this for the podcast? Are we putting this out into the world? As a little kid, I can. You try to make out your words with your mom. No, French, French, sorry, sorry.

I get it, though. I mean, I do understand it. I get it because I did the same to many other. I was young. I wasn't like, oh, my God. I was like a little kid. I was like watching like the love butt all the time. And they were always like open mouth kissing.

So I just thought, oh, that. That's my skin. That must be the next level of kissing. Right. I can get that. And was she receptive? No. Did she consent?

Enthesastically? Guys. Oh, God. Oh, boy. I feel good to get it off my chest. I feel good. Oh, man. These are all bangers.

This is just book promotion. I don't understand. By the way. This category is book promotion. Only one of these stories. And that was the thing that I heard from most people on my book tour, I thought that you would have more stories from the show in your book. And I honestly think only one or two stories that are in the book have been on

the show. And when people ask me why, I said, I just forgot. I wasn't thinking up, I wasn't trying to like check off boxes here. Anyway, I'm going to give this award to somebody else. Somebody who deserves it. I'm going to, yeah, you know, I will not take this one. I'm going to open this up, this envelope up and see the howdy for best paul childhood story goes to oh paul tries to french kiss his mom from jaws three day i i got to tell you i've been trying to get rid of this story i've been trying to push this one out this is a tough one this is you know and i put a picture of it's been referenced multiple times as well i put a picture up on my website of me kissing my mom on the lips just to to satiate the pervos out there

that you need to see it. Wait, wait a minute. You gave them you gave them material to back it up? Scott, can you pull up my website, Paul Shrew.com, and just go to the book section.

I'll show you. I'll show you. Because I was done with it. Just go to it. Scroll down here. There it is. Right there. Oh, my God.

That's so funny. Oh, that's so funny. Now it looks like, you know, It looks like my mom is, you know, so. This looks very passionate. So, yeah, I've been trying to live down this story, but here's what I'm going to say. I love that the website is paulshere.com slash pervert. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's how you get to this. Because I know that all you perves out there. Here's what I want to say. I am giving this award to everyone who has approached me in silence and whispered in my ear. I did the same thing. I did the same. thing. So to them, I see you. Are they saying that they also tried to French kiss their mom? Or are people just coming up and whispering in your ear? I did the same thing. I did the same thing. Well, it's more the second. What are you talking about? It's more of the second, but I assume it's in reference to that. I haven't really clarified. But yeah, I just want to give it to all the people out there who see me. And also have had the courage to admit they have French kissed their mom. Jesus. Don't go anywhere, folks, because it's almost time for the biggest and final howdy of the night.

Best guest. Ooh, baby, who could it be? Stay tuned. All right, and now for our final and most prestigious category of the night. Best guest appearance. And the nominees are. Nicole Beyer and Adam Scott from episode 196, The Meg. But he gets there not understanding anything

and has to be introduced to everything that's happening there. But he's got very cool sneakers. Oh, yeah. Also, I loved that all of the secondary characters were stereotypes. Like, the black guy couldn't swim, and I was like... I know. That was quiet. That was crazy.

It blew my mind. They acknowledged how. racist it was and then just kept doing it. Yes. Yeah, because I think you in the line you're like, oh, because I'm black, but then later it was like, I can't swim! Oh, a Massa pull me out! It was so wild.

It was crazy. Except in this case, Massa is a tiny Asian girl who's like, shut the fuck up. Jessica St. Clair from episode 204, Holiday and handcuffs. Yeah, because he's fucking hairless and built.

shit. By the way, that is a rule in these shows. Yes, I didn't ever want your guy in high school. Hairless and jacked. Hairless. There's that a hair in his body and I don't think he's waxing. Oh, I think he's waxing. Have you lost your mind?

That is unappealing. You want like a Ken doll physique. God, I don't want to know this. My first sexual urge was for punch. Okay, from chips. and Mario is delivering me

Ponch, like Prime Ponch. Oh, God, please stop saying punch. Prime Punch. Prime Punch. Prime Punch. I do feel like his shirtless scene, though, was a real beefcake moment. That's probably a T-shirt.

Prime punch. Prime punch. Prime punch doesn't sound like what it's the way you want it. Dripping letters. Prime punch. I mean, listen, Mario Lopez is a beautiful man. Very handsome. There's no way around it.

No. Did you? And you know, there's nothing worse, I would argue. Than a little hair. It's not going up to a man that has stubble. A little hairy. Yeah, exactly. I don't want to feel like you've groomed more than I have before a date.

But that's why I'm so fascinated that you like a hairless man because I, as I said, I want no hair or all the hair in the world. Wow. Jessica. Charlie's Theron and Seth Rogen from episode 212, Hello Mary Lou Prom Night 2. The scene in the bathroom. Yeah. I wanted to give her my academy award. It was amazing.

Do it. Do it. I'm actually not being funny. I very fairly looked at it and said, this is really good work. It was good. This is really good. I'm not. I'm actually, like, it is a good fucking moment.

It was a beautiful, it was a one, it was a beautiful shot that slowly crept in. Oh, yeah. And then when that lady dies, it was crazy because they almost cut her head off with this fucking thing. This is the craziest. And then they don't, and they hang her. Not only that, it looks like they're going to chop her head off with a paper cutter, right? They don't.

The cloak goes up and hangs her, then throws her out a window. What? What are you talking about? It's like, you just succeeded in strangling her with a cloak. Why throw her out the window? No, the best part then is the next cut is them talking about how she killed herself. She killed herself. How?

She hung herself, then threw herself out of a window. Mike Barrenholtz from episode 205, cellular. So he's an L.A. police officer. It's one line. It's one line. When I moved here from England, when I was 18. I didn't like it But now I love it

Because I'm a cop Instead it's like Sorry I'm late I was on the 405 I got off at Centanilla And I There was a part I grew up in chats with me

Was he trying to hide it He was trying to know But he can't There was a line that I really liked And I don't remember the full line But like Jason Statham Gives like Kim Basinger A couple choices

And A was shut up A shut up A Shut up Keep your mouth shut Just like Fernando Valenzuela After he left the Dodgers And gave a shitty interview

To Bill Plashby In the LA Times Which I fucking subscribe to Which I read every week Just for Jonathan Gold's reviews He's up San Gabriel Valley The Chinese restaurant His original treasure, isn't he?

Dim Sum is my favorite thing I've gone for a hike In Griffith Park I am Then we're going to Chank Two Palace afterwards You're going to love it. They got fucking lobsters right in the tank. Did you guys wonder, like, what was going to... I love Jason Statham, Angelino.

Casey Wilson from episode 219, drop dead Fred. I liked that this movie is about this little girl not being able to experience loss and grief and all the traumas of childhood and what she feels about her mother. I thought her mom was nice. Me too! Me too! I'm dead.

Finally, I'm not alone. Loved her. I'm dead. What I would have given for that mother? What? What? What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

Casey, you're my friend! Are you insane? The mom is a sociopath. What? What are you doing? The mother is... James the daughter, who leaves the child abuse. You're the reason.

You want to talk about abuse? That's talking about mom. That mother had been pushed. Oh, but what? James Projector A-Caster from episode 359, Dream a Little Dream. Oh, sorry, the projector moved down, and we'll fix that in one second.

Oh, what? Tim just told me to sort the projector. Wow. Wow. I'll figure it. Jim? He said James Projection. James Projector. I just said that I regret it for the first time

James projector Are you fucking out of your mind I'm not sorting the project I'm the guest None of this is my responsibility James projector None of this is on me I could shit my pants and walk off

And I've done a great job Just so you know Just so you know When this episode gets released You will be credited as James projector James projector Holy Christ. Tim?

Tim's getting too big for his bridges. Tim. Okay. To not even make a full sentence out of it. You put me in a bad mood for the trailer now, Tim. I might be unnecessarily harsh. Respect our guest, Tim. Respect our guests.

Tim is in a full body sweat. That was funny. I do just kind of the projector backing your goddamn eyes. And you can watch the trailer that way, Tim. How is that? that fun. Everyone can stand behind you and watch it projected on the back of your fucking head.

James projector, you fucking high. The whole week in this goddamn city. Everyone talking to me like a piece of shit. I don't need it from you as well. Wow. Incredible list. This is such a difficult category. I feel like of all of them, this is, this is.

the one where I'm like it could go anyway. Yeah. These are all banger guests on banger episodes. Yeah. This is these are, I mean, many of these I remember. The Ike episode is famous for the Jason Statham Angelino bit. Now, I do want to say, I want to give a shout out to our, my friend Sean at Trek bikes because I was recently purchasing a bike at Trek. And Sean, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's happening right now? Well, my friend Sean. Are we doing an in-houty episode ad for Trek? By the way. I think what I'm realizing is like, I knew we must have had some giant sponsor making these howdies or like underwriting them because they're so big. Are they made out of gold? They are made out of solid gold. Okay.

And is Trek manufacturing them because that makes sense as to why there are bicycle chains as part of the decorative feature? Yeah. And then obviously, you know, the best audience award. That's more of a mountain biking award. And we have that. But it was so funny because I was at the Trek bike store chatting with this gentleman Sean. And he said to me, goes, I quote Jason Statham, Angelino, at least once a week. Wow.

And I was like this, I said, you've made my day. I just love that that is like a bit like that. I love a deep dive bit. That's also a bit. That's a funny bit that anyone can do. Yes. Because all you need to do is a barely passable statham and then just L.A. specifics. It's really, really great. I love it so much.

I do want to say that I love all of our guests. They are absolutely fantastic. And whoever wins this award, you're all winners. They're all winners. I love that this, our final award, finally, there is some international input. We have James A. Castor here. So we have a nominee from outside of the United States, which I think is fantastic. Charlize is not.

Oh, Charlize as well. Yeah. I forgive me. You're absolutely right. Adam Scott, resident of Norway, I believe. But he's not talking about that. Yeah, no. I mean, he will be when he runs for prime minister.

All right, everybody. Let's see. The howdy for best guest appearance goes to Jessica St. Clair. Jess, obviously, you know, if there was a fourth member of the show, it would be Jess. She's been on the show more times than not. And you know what? I think that tonight would only be fair to give Jess the microphone. I mean, oh, hang on.

If she's going to come on, then I'm just going to tell everybody in the audience to turn your volume down. How did this get made? It's Jessica. Thank you so much for this award. It means so much to me. I have to tell you, me being on stage with you guys, cheering in the audience and dressing up like maniacs and screaming at Jason is one of the highlights of my life. There is no better fan than a How Did This Get Made fan. And listen, have I had to spend, you know, hundreds of thousands of dollars in therapy

to erase some of the memories that I've made while watching these horrific films? Yes, but every dollar has been worth it because I've got to spend it with you guys. And I can't wait to watch some more trash can fires and women who want to fuck their own dogs and you know who knows it's exciting but thank you so much i love you all right uh jess the best the absolute best she deserves it she deserves it again it could have gone any way but i'm happy i will say she's done so much incredible work uh on the front lines of this show that being said uh it can't be understated that kacey wilson had physical injury done to her vocal cords after the Drop Dead Fred episode.

And I think that should be acknowledged because she really put her body, her health, her well-being and her body on the line to fight for an absolute fraudulent point of view. Okay, but hold on, Jason. Here's the thing. Casey was unavailable to make a video. So that's why. I've actually been quite scared that we're going to get a bill from Casey's like vocal node surgeries.

She can't prove it Now let me tell you this everybody What a show By the way I'll just take this Jessica one Just to get it out of the way I just want to say this is ridiculous Then I'm going home empty handed once again It's fine I don't know why I expected it to be different

Shame on me Can I say something though There's a lot of actors like we You know look at who have never won any Oscars and stuff And it's like in some ways they're even more intriguing to us Yeah interesting You know, in some way, like, in some ways, we value their work a little bit more. So I'm like a Susan Lucci.

I'm a Susan actually did win. Eventually. Yeah. I would say you're more like a Tom Cruise. Oh, wow. Okay. You know, you're putting your life out there. Oh, I'm like, yes, I'm putting myself on the line.

Every show. Every show I do is a stunt. Yeah. It's a life-endangering stunt. Yeah, but it's like, you know, it's kind of cool. Like, just try to. reframe it that way. Well, you know, and I will take this June, sadly, I don't, I don't think you walked.

Well, I guess I'll share an award with you tonight. And, you know, there's so many people to thank you. Our producers, Scott Sani, Molly Reynolds are on. Wait a second. So I did take a howdy before for my June, you know, Savage just like did, look like he took it back. Well, I, well, you, yeah, well, we're sharing it, right? I thought we agreed to share it. Yeah, but when did you come down here to my office in the middle of the reporting and

I'm holding on to it. I'm holding on to it. Just because I don't want you to lose it. This is infuriating. God. Thank you. Yes, what? Yes.

No, no. Go ahead. Please do the outro. Please do the outro. I'm so sorry that you both weren't able to walk away with any awards. Like I said, thank you from the bottom of Morgan's heart. Thank you from the bottom of Jess's heart. I'm going to take both of theirs and we'll make sure that we get them to them before the next

house. I'll see Jessica tomorrow. I can give her that one. No. No. All right. Thank you to our producers. Scott Sonny, Molly Reynolds, our audio engineer, Casey Holford, our intern, Quinn Jennings, who helped us pull a lot of these clips and our social media manager, Zoe Applebaum. We owe... How nice would it be to give one of them a howdy? Yeah, they all deserve a howdy. They all... You know what? Why don't I give them your howdy, June? I'm going to give June's howdy. That's a beautiful thing. You take June's howdy. You all share it amongst yourselves.

I want to say, and we've talked... Paul, did you already have that chain made, the one that you've clipped into a howdy that you wear around your neck now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had it made just in case, just in case. Wow, okay. They're so big, too. It's, you know, look, what a gift to give, you know, me these awards. I thank you both, you know.

I do want to say, as we look back on these years that we have done this show, and it's been a long time, we do owe a lot of these classic moments that you. heard in this episode to Averill Halley, who will forever be a part of the show's DNA and her selections of these films that got us to these places. We are, you know, always keeping her in our thoughts and minds. Anyway, I think it's, it can't be overstated that I think without Averill's help, we would not still be doing a third annual howdy 15 years in. I believe that many times I tried to get Averill on board to help find some of these clips. And she politely and rightly said no.

Incredible. Yeah. The best decision she's ever made. That's really her legacy. She was an essential part of the DNA of this show, like you said, Paul, and will be forever missed. Well, we love Averill. And we love all of you listeners for making this show worth doing for the last 15 years and counting. And you know what?

Because of you all, we will not wait another nine years between howdies. That is a wrap on. on this year's howdies, but you know what? I'm sure we missed a few things, and we'll give you your chance to tell us what we missed next week on Last Looks, as we also revisit another film that we haven't had a chance to hear your thoughts on, and that is My Secret Santa. So get your corrections and omissions in for both of these episodes next week, and bye for now. This concludes the third annual How did this get made Howdy Awards. Remember to see the photo of young Paul kissing his mom, just go to Paulshear.com slash pervert. Again, that's

Paulshear.com slash pervert. Thanks for listening, you jerks.