How Did This Get Made? - The Christmas Tree (1991)
Episode Date: November 28, 2025Is this the worst animated holiday special of all time? Paul, Jason, and June brave the longest 43 minutes of their lives to find out! This week we're talkin' 1991's The Christmas Tree, a direct-to-vi...deo holiday cartoon about an orphanage owner with a gambling problem and a tree named Mrs. Hopewell. They discuss the bizarre narration, the kids who seem to be drugged with Benadryl, the Mayor's job responsibilities, Judy caring more about a tree than her missing daughter, what drives Mrs. Mavilda, Santa Claus' lightning powers, and so much more. Plus, Paul drops new childhood stories about his dryland mushing hobby and more! Watch The Christmas Tree for free on Tubi. The Deep Dive Christmas Spectacular streams live on Dec 5th! Get tix here and use code HOWDIE for $5 off. • Our holiday virtual livestream is on Dec 10th! Get tix at veeps.events/hdtgm• Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, FAQs, and more• Have a Last Looks correction or omission? Call 619-PAULASK to leave us a voicemail!• Submit your Last Looks theme song to us here• Join the HDTGM conversation on Discord: discord.gg/hdtgm• Buy merch at howdidthisgetmade.dashery.com/• Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of Trauma• Shop our new hat collection at podswag.com• Paul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheer• Paul’s YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheer• Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer• Subscribe to Enter The Dark Web w/ Paul & Rob Huebel: youtube.com/@enterthedarkweb• Listen to Unspooled with Paul & Amy Nicholson: unspooledpodcast.com• Listen to The Deep Dive with June & Jessica St. Clair: thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcast• Instagram: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & @junediane• Twitter: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & msjunediane • Jason is not on social media• Episode transcripts available at how-did-this-get-made.simplecast.com/episodesGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Finally, a Christmas movie unsuitable for the entire family.
We saw the Christmas tree, so you know what that means.
made boy oh boy we got a doozy for you today we are talking about the 1991 animated feature
if you can call it that the christmas tree coming in at a tight 45 minutes not to be confused
with the tv movie the christmas tree in 1996 which was sally field's directorial debut that very
different films yeah yeah so there you go should we watch all the christmas trees i would love to just
Everything called The Christmas Tree?
This movie, I would recommend people watching because it is free on YouTube and it's only 45 minutes.
And that's interesting.
So you would say that people should watch it.
I think that your eyes need to see it.
And if you say, Paul, your eyes need to see it.
Your eyes need to see it and your ears need to hear it.
That should be the motto of the show.
Your eyes need to see it and your ears need to hear it.
How did this get made?
Let me just tell you.
Can I say something?
Yeah, sure.
Because you, everybody, this whole, how does this get made team is really selling me on the 45 minutes of it all.
Like a lot of emails, it's only 43, June, 43 is 43, it's going to be so quick.
Good news, good news, only 43.
Here's the link, 43.
I felt those minutes.
This was interminably long.
It did feel about 90.
I did, I did look at the watch multiple times.
When we do that thing where you pause it to see how much is left.
I, every time I had only gotten like three more minutes in.
That's what I'm saying.
And it felt eternal.
I was at one point, like, checking my own self because I was like, wait a second, is it not 45 minutes?
Yeah.
Because I was watching.
I thought you had all lied to me.
The brutalist went by quicker.
Here's what I will say.
I've taken more notes on a 43-minute movie than I've taken in recent memory on much longer films.
Well, I think the really distressing part, I'm sorry to interrupt Paul, but the reason we were in kind of a time panic was also because about 15 minutes had gone by when the narrator announced, so let's begin our story.
Yes.
That really, I was like, uh-oh.
So much table setting for 43-minute movie in a way that I was like, I don't, not only that, but like, even now having watched the movie in its entirety,
I believe.
I still am not sure the story the movie's telling.
You know what I mean?
Oh, no.
So little happens in the movie, in other words.
And yet so many things happen that are terrifying.
The kids do get lost in the wilderness.
Oh, a girl falls off a cliff.
Yeah, that's true.
A bear does attack them.
Yeah, I guess they'll take it back.
A lot does happen.
Here's what I just will say for those of you who have not seen the film.
Of course, that's Jason and June.
We don't need to introduce the show.
How do you call this a film?
Well, you know, this short.
If you've not seen the Christmas tree, this is how IMDB describes it.
The Heartless Mrs. Mavilda runs an orphanage where kids live in miserable conditions because she keeps all the donation money for herself.
She hires a new assistant who, along with Santa, helps the kids finally have a Merry Christmas.
Now, that very much buries the lead.
We'll get into all the reasons why, but I do want to start off with just the opening sequence
because this is a film that we both, we all agree, is interminably long, but yet the narrator is
rushing through it.
Like the narrator is like the micromachine guy.
Like that opening narration.
Mrs. Mavilda was a very tricky person.
She didn't really take good care of the children, but she made people think she did for
example, she had a pretty dress with bows and lace and a new pair of pants and a sweater
to put on whichever child she was going to show off to the mayor. This way, every time the
mayor came by, he always thought that Mrs. Mavilda was taking good care of her children.
But after he left a donation collected by the townspeople for the orphanage, Mrs. Mavilda
would immediately take off the child's clothes and put them away in a closet for the mayor's
next visit. That is insane. The speed in which he is reading that is very quick. Do you think
That's just because they, they were like, oh, we got to fill the plot holes.
We don't have enough, we don't have enough money to animate the whole movie.
So we'll just have the narrator.
It's weird, though, because at times I did feel like the voices were being sped up.
And then there were times I felt like the voices were being slowed down.
And the scenes felt like the scene is over.
The scene has been over for minutes.
Why are we still in it?
What is this?
They didn't animation is expensive.
The opening sequence shows you just.
how cheap this movie is because as they're flipping through this Christmas book, it looks like
sections of the book are redacted. It's like the Epstein files in book form. It's like they're not
even fake text. And when they finally land on the Christmas tree story, the story that we are about
to hear, it's a blank page. There's not even a semblance of writing on this page at all.
And I was like, that seems like easy animation. You don't have to move it. You just, it's also shocking
to me, and I mean this, truly shocking, when you said
1991, because this is
1970s or 80s level animation and
voice work. This looks like the kind of movie
that I would have watched as a child around Christmas
simply because it was on TV.
It was on TV. Pre-V-CR. Pre-choice.
Yes, when there was only four channels plus three,
you know, UHF channels, you watch shit like this because
whatever it was there.
Right.
Now, I just want to talk about the basic, the premise of the movie.
Sure.
And, because I actually don't think that that logline from IMDP got, got to the heart of the matter, which is really about this tree named Mrs. Hopewell.
Oh, boy.
This is, I will say that this is probably the thing that upsets me the most about this movie, that these orphans are so longing for companionship, even though they have each other.
Okay, that's what I wanted to talk about, actually, that right there.
They describe this tree as their only friend, as the only, the branches being the arms that wrapped around them.
The tree being a place where they could finally connect.
Now, they all seem like nice kids.
They never turn to each other.
Right.
Not only that.
Not only do they never turn to each other, find solace in each other, find a community with each other.
They're putting it so much on the tree that when the center, I would say, the central threat in the movie is the chainsaw to the tree.
During this scene, there is a missing little girl in the wilderness.
She has been, she is gone.
But we care.
Her brother has announced she's gone.
We care more about the tree somehow.
As does her mother, Jason.
Yes.
Her mother stays for that scene instead of going.
To find, she said going to find her child.
I will say for eagle-eyed viewers, when the chainsaw is pulled out, Lily, the missing girl, is in the crowd of children.
So she, oh, God.
So, like, don't be, don't be alarmed.
They might have run out of some animation cells.
They had to use the one where Lily is in it, even though technically in that part of the story, she is missing.
I wonder if this was a feature-length, made as a feature-length movie then was cut down to this, because then I would understand it's child.
There's only one version, and it premiered direct-to-video in September of 91.
It played on the USA Network a handful of times, and it re-aired in 92 and 93.
And it was picked up by some small independent Christian television stations.
Of course.
Well, that's okay.
Okay, so just to go back to the story for a second, Mrs. McVilda, whatever her name is.
Mavilda, not a real name.
Mavilda is a kind of Portuguese for evil.
and wicked.
Okay.
So Mrs.
Mavilda is taking the money
that the mayor
is giving her to run
this orphanage
because she's dressing the kids up
very nicely when he arrives
and so he thinks everything's great
and gives her, you know,
bags of cash.
Two big bags.
Big bags of cash.
I was also interested
in the portrayal of the mayor,
like not usually seen as like generous.
Yeah.
You know.
Well, the mayor is running the town
because when two people arrive in town,
they go,
need a job. Straight to the mayor's office. Straight to the mayor's office. But Mrs.
Mavilda, she's using that cash. This is what I was fascinated by this choice. Not on herself
to buy, you know, luxury items, to buy herself beautiful clothing to, I guess she is eating
well. We see that scene of her at the dinner table with a giant turkey, but she's mainly
using that cash to bet on card games to play cards. She's gambling.
She's gambling with it.
But I guess my point is she doesn't seem to be doing well at it.
No, she's a bad gambler.
She's a bad gambler.
I mean, like, you know, like, no wonder she's still running the orphanage after all these years.
But what an interesting choice, though.
You rarely see a female gambler.
Yep.
We're not.
That's usually not our vice.
Well, here's what I will say.
I feel like she was losing to torture the children.
Like her losses were.
So egregious because she's like, you know what?
I don't care.
They'll go hungry.
Oh, really?
Yeah, because at one point she puts in all the money.
She goes, oh, here goes the children's money again.
She's enjoying putting the money forward because she's like, it's, it's fun money.
To lose.
Yeah, I agree with you.
She's not taking it seriously.
She's enjoying the game, but I don't think she's trying to lose it so that she doesn't
have to spend it on them.
But I am curious that she doesn't want to keep it for herself.
She just, she wants that thrill of them.
the game. I'm also freaked out about this house that she lives in because the house, seemingly, well, it looks like a nice house. She has a bedroom that looks like it's maybe in a mansion that would be on like, you know, a very, you know, like a Bravo show. And her office also shining. But then the kids live in abject filth, like wooden floors. Like, like, well, I think here's the question, I guess. And I'm a dead ass right now when I say this. Dead ass. Okay. I love this. Here's the question.
question. Yeah. If she didn't have a gambling addiction. Okay. Would she be taking care of the
children? No. Meaning which comes, okay, but really think about it. Think about it through the framework of just like,
through the lens of this is a story about addiction. Okay. Right. Okay. Oh, wait. You, no, you're giving
this movie way too much credit, I think. I think that you're saying, but do you think she took the job at the
orphanage in order to have access to petty cash? And that's what I'm not.
she can use to fuel her gambling.
Like, I don't think she started out a good orphanage runner, you know.
What's, you know, this, she's like, what's the villain's name in Annie, Carol Burnett?
Hannigan, Hannigan.
Jesus, wow, that was wild.
Anyway, you know, this, how come, let me ask you this, how come we don't make orphan content anymore?
How come we don't seem to care?
Let's be clear, there are certainly so many.
many orphans, but we don't make any modern content set in orphanages about orphans that's
about the plight of orphans that is aimed, let me be very clear, at children.
To be honest, the part of that is because there aren't really any American orphan.
It's a foster care system and it's deeply, deeply flawed.
And we fund foster care instead of like funding services for biological parents to actually
be able to keep their children.
That's a fucked up system in and of itself.
Well, here's what I will say.
I feel like orphan movies went through this kind of like euphoria cation.
Like, you know, like everything in euphoria is like through the mind of a 30-year-old man who is not in high school.
And I feel like everything we know about orphan movies are through like Hollywood writers who just saw something ages ago.
Orphoria?
Or is it or for our pitch is it's euphoria but with and for orphans.
Yeah, because I do think that like what we have been.
building on is this idea of what an orphanage is, just a bunch of kids running around and ragged
clothes. This movie feels like it's set in the 30s. Yes. That's what's so wild. I mean, I do think that
the other trouble, the other trouble the movie has is, the tree. Wait, do we think that this movie was
in 91? No, right? It can't be in 91. I don't know what. Oh, the cars are old. Okay.
Oh, yeah. The cars are old. And she is wearing a headscarf. Yeah. To me, the trouble is also
that Mrs. Hopewell, the tree,
we never get to really see them
connect with this tree.
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
Sure.
Where's Mr. Hopewell?
Like, are we to presume this tree is Mary?
Right, you're right.
It is a missus.
Well, where's Mr. Mavilda?
Well, but that, but yeah,
because she's a missus as well.
Maybe Mr. Hope Tree and Mr. Mavilda
ran off together.
Wow.
Whoa.
Can I just say one thing about
the tree and I hope you guys don't come down too hard on me on this. I didn't find the tree
that'd be that interesting. Tree sucked. Yeah, the tree was not an, like, give me. The tree didn't have
any personality. Yes. Give me like a peanuts level like bad Christmas tree that then Santa at the
end will sprinkle some things on it and it grows out and it's a beautiful tree and we all are like,
oh my God. Great. That's a great pitch. A tree that represents the orphans themselves. Exactly.
down on its luck and ragged
the way that they do in Charlie Brad. Great point.
And then Mrs. Mavilda would be like, why do you like that tree?
It's disgusting. It's an eyesore.
By the way, great Mavilda.
Thank you. I've been working on it.
I did not get the part.
But you might be,
maybe hold out hope for Mr. Mavilda in the sequel.
Oh, I would love it.
Oh, I'd love it.
Oh, my God. At the end of the movie,
when Mrs. Mavilda first gets electrocuted by light,
hit struck by lightning.
Yep. Then is fine.
Then goes to work as Judy's assistant in the orphanage.
And the line is,
Well, don't worry about Mrs. Mavilda.
She's good now.
This woman has tortured these children and now still is in charge of them.
But don't worry, she's good now.
But by the way, she's good now.
She learned that you always win when you are good.
Wait, what?
She never was good.
Why is it still about winning?
And why is she working at an orphanage where all the kids have been adopted?
Well, I have to say that that's true.
They seem to just live there.
So I don't know.
It seems like reckless to adopt that many kids in one.
They adopt seven kids and they have two more, but you know what?
This town is going to keep producing orphans.
Yeah, but I did think that I did think that was pretty bold of Judy's husband who had been away in the in the mines in the field somewhere.
Although he came back looking crystal clear.
Like, I mean, he's like to come back to take a look around and then say we now have nine kids.
Which is, by the way, wrong math.
A conversation.
Just so you know, when he tells.
Like a lot, Paul.
Yeah.
So he said, she'll be helping raise their nine children.
They already have two.
So they're adding five orphans.
So it would be seven total.
Oh, okay.
So there was, again, Ray is not.
Plus, licorice the dog and Mrs. Hopewell, the tree.
I'm sure he's counting those as their children.
By the way, Hopewell felt far away enough from the orphanage house that it didn't seem
like Mavilda would have, like, jurisdiction over that tree.
It wasn't like a front yard.
I don't think it was on a property line?
Yeah, yeah, I would have loved it.
I would have loved a scene where they go to City Hall and they get actual, the actual property lines laid out.
Well, they do get into that at the end of the movie.
They go, and technically, the mayor says that this tree now is public property.
And it's like, we don't have to get into, we don't have to get into, like, the logistics of who can chop down a tree.
Oh, my God.
I don't even know.
I mean, this mayor seemingly is very involved.
This mayor is giving out jobs.
The mayor looks at you and goes,
you can work in the mine, you can go work in the orphanage,
and you can bring your kids there.
And like the mayor's-
Why does Judy and her two children,
the only blondes in this town?
Why do they have to live in the orphanage?
Why can't they live in their own home?
Well, because the money isn't coming in yet.
Yeah, so she is working off.
She's basically working for that room.
I mean, I struggle with Judy as a mom because she, well, obviously she doesn't, like, go after her daughter when it's reported that she's missing.
But she also, she doesn't seem to take the kids seriously when they are trying to tell her, like, something's very wrong.
Yeah.
She is very wrong here.
Yeah, this, it feels, again, it feels like, I would say, 1991, still shocking because this.
this feels like 1970s parenting.
Right.
Exactly.
You know what I mean?
It has the vibe of like, but, but, but, but, but I don't want to hear from you.
Like when Mrs. Mavilda says to Judy, you have to do this, you have to do this, you have to do this.
And then at the end of the day, you can see your children for 30 minutes.
Judy's like, that's plenty.
Got it.
That's plenty.
And if anything, maybe too much.
Judy does not react at all when this is, and your children will be treated as orphans.
She's like, copy?
Yeah, she's got it.
Why?
Why do they have to sleep in there?
And it also seems like the orphans aren't being put through any rigorous schedule.
Like, it seems like they're going to be bumping into each other a lot.
Like, I mean, it's, you know, it's what happens with Mrs. Mavilda's plan to frame Judy for stealing from the guy?
There's a whole thing that gets put in motion that I kind of didn't then track.
Well, I think that's put in motion so that the kids can escape to try to get to Santa.
said to have sent to solve their problems.
But basically there's an immediate...
Those kids would freeze to death so quickly.
Immediately dead.
Well, the plan changes twice, right?
Because it's first the kids are going to go see the mayor to talk to the mayor and say,
hey.
But then, Paul, it's after business hours because someone did know how to get to the mayor's
office because, of course, they had been there the first day they arrest now.
And this is all happening on Christmas Eve.
Yep.
But then they realized, I did laugh at this.
Then the kids, these kids, these hungry kids realized.
It's after business hours.
It's EOB and a business.
And the mayor, this is how locked in this community is at the mayor.
They know the mayor's already on the way home.
And the mayor lives way out in the country.
The mayor is far away.
Which, by the way, why so far away?
It would be so much easier to go to where Santa lives.
Right.
And this is not a community that seemingly is set in Alaska.
Like I would say this is probably Minnesota.
Like, let's just say, look, it's a very, you know, it's a suburban rural mix.
But we've all seen alone, and they are in conditions that are brutal.
These kids are out there with no sweaters on, no hats.
They're chit-chat in a way.
They get chased by a bear.
A bear that I'm going to say is three stories tall.
The bear is so big.
I mean, here's the thing that I'm going to say about that big bear.
I think that these kids not knowing jack shit about anything.
helps them because at a certain point, the mom has to explain what Santa Claus and Christmas
is. Like, the kids have no idea what that is. So I guess I'm starting to look at the kids and
being like, they have been, you ever heard that story where parents only taught Klingon to their
son? And then, like, Child Protective Services came in and, like, they had to take the child
away because the parents were just intent on only teaching Klingon. So, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Were they Starfleet officers?
I think that they were, they were part-time Klingon cosplayers.
Were they, oh, wow.
Yes, so they were cosplayers who, you know, look, I want to Comic-Con one time,
and I watched a Klingon play out in Comic-Con run.
And it was great, and they were all in a Klingon language doing, you know, a piece of,
a piece of Klingon literature.
But, you know, so like,
So the, so that.
So that, to me, feels like these kids have no idea what's going on.
So they're like, yeah, trees are people.
I didn't know about Santa.
And when that bear comes, to me, I think that they look at that bear like licorice.
Oh, it's another dog.
It's a big dog.
Big dog.
Like, they're not, like, they don't know.
I'll be honest, I was rooting for the bear.
I was rooting for the bear just because I was like, to come out here like this is so irresponsible.
I just felt bad that the bear had no Christmas Eve plans.
Yeah.
Did anybody wonder what?
What happened with that giant accident that stopped Judy on the road from getting to pick up the package where she was going to be framed?
Yes.
Judy, what is that all about?
Judy, I have issues with Judy as well because at one point, like, the kids are not speaking.
And Judy's like, hey, settle down.
I'm like, they are settled.
No one's speaking.
Listen, I want to.
Let's put a little respect on Judy's name, though.
I was deeply impressed with me.
Wait a minute.
Let's put some respect on her name.
Just moments ago, you were dragging Judy's name through the mud.
I know, but then I remembered how absolutely intrepid Judy was when she built that swing and that platform, whatever that slide.
I have issues with that slide. A wooden slide splinters in the butt.
Okay, but like they didn't have anything there.
Like that was real. Now, where did that stuff go? Did Mrs. Maville to tear it down?
She wanted to, I think so.
Yeah, she didn't like that it was there.
Yeah, but when she goes to put a chainsaw to it, I don't think it's there.
It doesn't, it doesn't appear as though those animated elements were included in the wide shots.
I have a feeling that they had a daylight scene of the slide and the swing, but that the climax was at night.
So they could not bring it over.
Hold on one second.
Are we to understand that Santa sent the lightning to strike Mrs.
Mavilda. That's, and didn't we all think that the lightning was going to bring the tree to life?
Well, I thought that there would be, like, yes, I almost felt like if the lightning was going to
make Mrs. Hopewell come to life and be like, I will now run the orphanage. Not like Judy would
take over. Yes, there was, I felt like there was so much import placed on the tree and Mrs. Hopewell
and its protection. The tree was. The tree was
personified so much for the children
that it seemed to me at some point
it must become
sentient. It must. It must
become the thing the kids
are saying it is. And in fact
Judy becomes that thing. I believe
it's not Mrs. Hopewell.
Judy becomes Mrs. Hopewell for them.
She becomes their advocate. But why does the
tree still get all the fucking credit?
Well, the tree gets a lot of credit, but I also think
that something's weird with Santa.
I do think that the Santa
that we meet... Go on. Because, okay,
First of all, Santa is a very different animation style than anything else in the movie.
That's very true.
It does seem like it's-that was clip art.
It does seem like it's borrowed from maybe another movie.
And he, I think the way that he looks at everyone in this town is very sexual.
I think that he has a glimmer in his eye.
And I'm not going to lie to you.
I did, we don't see what happened with Lily and Santa and where he found her, what that scene
what happened there.
But when he appeared with her,
he felt like the movie,
we wanted to feel like,
oh my gosh,
Santa found her and dropped her off.
And where my mind went was like,
what the fuck?
Yeah,
what's going on there?
What the fuck happened?
Well,
we don't get really,
we don't get almost any time with Santa.
So he's so just deus ex machina
kind of dropped at the very,
very, very end that it kind of is like,
wait,
who the fuck is this guy?
And yet he is,
saved this little girl, but he doesn't say, I saved her.
She didn't fall off the cliff.
She fell into my sleigh.
He didn't say shit.
He's like, I got to go.
Got to go.
I got these parachutes attached to my presence.
I got to get the fuck out of here.
There was something very strange about it.
I got to get the fuck out of here before the cops arrive.
And if they ask any questions, no presents next year.
I'm worse than Mrs.
Mavilda.
That's what I think was really going on.
Maybe he is Mr. Mavilda.
Oh, that would be cool.
I would like that.
Did anybody else question?
Why, after we have been told over and over, these kids don't have anything, they don't have dolls, they don't have any toys, like, why didn't they ever play with the sled that was outside?
Yeah.
Well, you're obsessed with sleds.
You both are.
You guys bought into that.
I love sleds.
Sleds were like the greatest thing.
That's what I'm saying.
That's the most fun thing you could have.
It's basically a snow car.
You basically had the ability to go fast.
Yes.
It could be a child's entire winter.
Yeah.
One sled.
It's independent.
I could ride my sled to other towns.
I could ride my sled up and down the coast.
Wait, hold on one second.
Wait a second here.
This is just a no.
Now, I had a dog sled.
I attached dogs to it.
We would run.
We would run much to my parents' chagrin.
But like this, they feel like they're...
Seriously, Paul?
Oh, yeah.
What?
We had a dog sled.
We had a dog sled.
Like, not like it was, yeah.
You're like, and I did a rod?
No, no, no, no.
Well, we had two.
All right, so we had two sleds.
One was much more of a metal.
So it had two wheels in the back, a little platform that you stood on, and then handlebars, and you attached dogs to the front, and then they would take off.
There was a wheel in the front, too.
So that was the non-snow one.
This is not real.
Yes.
Oh, 100.
So it was like bicycle handle.
So it was like, I'm going to need photos.
I wish, yeah.
It was like a dog.
That's like a dog sled.
That's like an out of season training sled for I diderod dogs, right?
Right.
Yeah, I would imagine.
I mean, as far as I knew, I just hook the dogs up to it and they would run and I could,
and by when I turned the handle, four.
Okay.
You know, and so, you know, so then I would, I would hook them up to it and they would run with me.
and then, you know, and I would take them around the neighbor.
I'm looking right now on some websites, and I'm seeing it right here.
I will kind of show you exactly what it was.
There's no, what are you talking?
There's no way we've done this show for 15 years and we're just finding out that you had Iditarod-style dog sled in Long Island, New York.
I'll show you a picture of it right here.
What on earth is happening?
All right here, hold on a second.
I'm going to share my screen.
Are you serious, Paul?
Okay, yeah, here it is.
That's what I had.
What?
Yeah.
Can you have enough dogs for this?
Please make it bigger.
Yeah, let me see if I can.
That looks like fun.
I'm not going to lie.
Oh, there you go.
Sorry, I'm going to get bigger right here.
No, I get it.
But did you have huskies?
No, we had pointers, which were like hunting dogs.
So, yeah, that was exactly it.
It's like, it almost looks like a tricycle that you attach dogs to.
Yeah, no, no, I get it.
I get it.
I'm just like, I don't.
I'm explaining it for the people who can't see that.
You can't rectify, I, I can't, I can't make it make sense for, yeah.
And did anyone question you?
You're riding around in that thing.
And did anyone say like, whoa, whoa, what, buddy.
Hey, hey, little guys.
Sweetie, sweetie, hold up, hold up.
I would let, I would attach the dogs to it to impress my sitter, like my babysitter,
like who was often a high school girl to show or that I could control the dogs.
You got the pointers for the sitter?
Well, I didn't get the pointers for the sitter, but I would, like, say, like, hey, you know.
You hook up the pointers just for the sitter?
By the way, what they call this, according to what I'm seeing online, is dry land mushing.
Yeah, okay.
So that's what I was doing.
I was doing dry land mushing.
Okay.
So I'm sure, I'm sure made the sitter absolutely soaking wet.
Never went.
That dry land rushing.
What on earth is happening?
I have absolutely stunned.
I can't accept this as new information.
No, that's really the craziest thing I've ever heard.
So is this the same era?
Because to have that, you have to have open space to ride around in.
Is this the same era where you had horses?
Yes. Oh, 100%.
Yeah, we had a dog run behind the barn, and that's where the pointers lived outside.
And that was like, yeah, so I would be cleaning the dog run.
So I would go in there and, you know, take the shovel and clean up the poop and everything and hose it all down.
What year was this?
I mean, this is all before.
It sounds like you're describing the teens, the 19 teens.
I mean, look, it was my job to go around the back of the stables and feed the dogs.
I mean, I had to get the salt licks.
I had to get the salt licks for the horses, and I had to make sure that I put the hay in there.
I had to put more hay in their kennels during the winter.
So they had to warm, you know, keep them warm.
You know, but they were outdoor dogs.
They lived in their outdoor kennels.
You know, and that was it.
This is astonishing.
I don't know where we were going, but I was going to say, like, now, that's a sleigh.
That's a sleigh.
That's what you want to see.
Let's some dogs up to this stuff.
Because these kids seemingly are just going uphill at all points.
They are using that sleigh as if it has an engine.
Well, the engine is licorice.
You know, eventually, and licorice is hooked up, Paul Shear-style, pointer style,
to dry, but this is obviously, this is snow mushing, not dry mushing.
I guess we did also have a regular sleigh, too.
You did.
That was available to you if you were.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's good to know.
Just for people who are keeping track at home as to what you had available at what point in
life vis-à-vis modes of transportation.
And I am looking right now that pointers are good dogs for sled dog racing.
Because they're fast.
Yeah, and they have, I guess, a good chest.
Just the last question about this, I promise.
But was there anybody else that you knew that had this type of?
No, no, no.
I have another question.
Yeah, sure.
And this one is real, significant.
Yeah.
Why?
Why did you have both the dry and the snow sleds?
Did you or anyone in your family race these dogs?
That's a good question.
Did you use these as transportation?
Like, what?
Right.
Well, we didn't use it as transportation.
We didn't use this.
I'm just going to say why.
This is something that comes up in my book a lot where...
I understand why Jesse has the dogs in life below zero.
That makes sense.
He gets around with them.
He needs them because he's in a place in Alaska where he needs the dogs for transportation.
Well, no, the dogs were...
The dogs kind of just were...
Exercise for the dogs.
Yeah, I mean, I guess we had them...
These dogs were going out.
We were hunting with them.
I mean, we were always...
These dogs were always coming out and doing something.
They were, you know, their pointer.
So when they saw a bird,
their tail would go up, you know, and then you'd, and then that's how you know, okay,
we got a bird.
Did you hunt, like, a lot?
I had, I had multiple guns, but I never was out there to kill animals.
I would shoot much more to kill.
You had multiple guns, but I was never out there to kill animals.
No, I was out there to kill the most dangerous game.
I would hunt humans, sure, but that's a different thing.
Now, and these pointers were really good at finding bodies, human bodies.
Wow, so interesting.
And I think, I don't know if I ever mentioned this,
but most of my fifth grade class were weirdly shot.
I don't know why.
Weirdly shot.
Weirdly shot.
How they shot was weird.
It was weird.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, so I shot a lot more skeet than I did.
You know, that was my bread and butter.
That was my bread and butter.
I shot plenty of skeet.
That was my bread and butter.
No thanks.
I mean, I've told, I think I've told this on the podcast that I did kill a lot of quail.
Okay.
Yeah.
So, like, that's what you guys would do.
You would go out and do quail hunting.
No, no, no.
We raised them and then I would, then we would chop off their heads and then put them into a defeatherer
and then sell them.
A de feather?
Yeah.
Oh, God, this is so horrible.
How does that work?
It's basically, like, imagine, and I'll give the funnier description of it.
You chopped off their heads?
I didn't do the chopping off that. I did them.
I did the thing where I did.
stick them in the defeatherer where you would hold them by their legs and it's basically like
a steel drum with let me just say for your visual like a bunch of dildos attached to it and so you
like so it's like these rubber things and you put the bird in and it just pull it off yeah oh okay
you would sell the quail yeah we sell that meat you'd sell the quail meat what in what in what
where where would you go to do again these are the things I just did the chores I guess
Okay, I got to be honest with you.
I wish you'd asked more questions.
I know, I did too.
You were part of, I want to be clear.
You were part of something.
You were part of something that I don't think you understand.
I guess I call it a chicken plucker machine.
Chicken plucker machine is what I'm looking at.
Why?
Paul, who sold the quail?
Where?
And what were the proceeds used for?
What system was this a part of?
You know, this is crazy stuff.
I'm looking at all these machines.
These machines are bringing back memories now.
Oh, God.
How were there more memories?
What are there more memories?
I guess I just felt like we were raising quail.
So then we had to...
Did you eat them?
We had to sell them.
We're not going to just keep a bunch.
Like, we were raising a tremendous amount of quail.
I understand the concept of if you're raising quail, you're probably selling them.
Yeah.
But in what capacity?
Like, I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, I never went to a quail.
Farmer's market. We're trying to understand what the funnel looks like.
Well, yeah. So I don't know. I mean, I never.
Was this black market quail sales?
I mean, what did I marry into? Is there a quail fortune? I don't know about it.
I never went to a farmer's market. I never did that. So I know that we didn't sell it there.
But I also think we had a big freezer. We were putting things in the freezer. And then I think that people were picking up things from the freezer.
People?
Well, come by. I think it was much more of a.
Picking up, you think you had a, it was an open freezer and people would just take a quail, leave a dollar.
What is this?
I remember, I remember distinctly saying, we'll leave the garage open.
You can come and get the quail.
What?
So I think we were selling, we were selling animal meat locally.
Got it.
I think.
Again, not quite positive.
And again, I should have asked these questions.
These are great, all these great questions.
I would love to know if these were FD.
D-A's, yeah, go ahead.
Yeah, you were just trying to get your chores done.
It's like, you know, like, so you could get on your, your dog sled and enjoy yourself.
Like, I understand.
I don't blame me.
I just, hey, guys, I want to hang out.
I just have to de-feather 300 quail so I can fill up the quail freezer in the garage that everybody knows will be open.
Now, here's the thing that I will say.
I definitely believe that we ate them as well.
Sure.
Because we were not raising, when you say 300, I would say we didn't have.
300 at a time you know so we were probably raising maybe like 50 quail like so we were a low we were
a low tier you know you know probably like yeah like and you go in there and the coop was just a mess
and feathers and shit and you'd have to get in there and dig around you lived with a quail coop
yeah we're getting this is again this is just astonishing new information the quail coop was on the
property next to ours which we rented the house of but we kept the backyard so that was like a deal
Okay. So you had the stables for the horses.
On our yard.
You had the kennels for the dogs.
That was on our yard.
That was in our yard.
And then the quail coop and anything.
What else is in?
Just so I have a, and I would love it if a fan could maybe just do a property sketch of all the information we now know from Paul.
I mean, what a, what a childhood.
You know, like it feels like when you talk about your childhood, it feels somehow like, even though I know you grew up in Long Island.
Yeah.
It feels to me like you grew up on Little House on the Prairie.
Well, you know, it is interesting when I do talk about it.
It doesn't seem natural or right.
And so when I did go back to like look at the house, I was like, did I make any of this stuff up?
And nope, I did not.
Everything is still aggressively there.
This is wild.
I love this.
I love the excavation of your childhood is that it is what drives the show.
We have at least two more books coming.
Like, men.
I did, as you said it, I forgot about us mushing.
Okay, so, sorry for that detour.
I apologize for that detour.
In all sincerity, it was so much better than the movie.
Truly.
But now, the fact that we now know you are a, you were a frequent dry musher as a child
is huge information.
I have big information.
The fact that I know the term dry mushing.
Yeah.
Now we all do.
I thought that there was something sexual when Ms. Mavilda called Mel Fast Fingers.
Yeah.
And Mel, she really does hang out with a bunch of degenerates.
Yes.
Like, which I like.
I was like, oh, yeah.
Again, that was a choice that I really loved about the movie, which was that she was a gambling addict.
And also that, like, her choice of she wasn't hobnobbing with the rich and famous, you know, she was with the dregs of society.
And she also didn't aspirationly.
have hopes. She wasn't trying to
buy her way into society
or get her or buy her way out
of the orphanage into a this or that.
Like she just wants, I think, to
party and gamble. And fund her
habit. That's why I think that she
was losing the money on purpose
because she wasn't like,
she just wants to
shut everybody down because she doesn't even invite
the girl, the mom, to play
cards. Like, it's not even like.
I'm sort of coming around
to your point of view because they do
say that about gambling addicts that they don't actually want to win. Oh, really? Yes, that they,
that, that the desire is to try and there's something in the risk of it, but it's not about
actually winning. Oh, okay. Well, wow. So you might, you might be onto something there. I did
appreciate, you know, it's definitely the animation of the time, but I did appreciate. It just want to be, I want to be
clear. It's not the anime. This
is, this is like,
there was better animation. What are some of the other animated
movies that are out in 1991?
Like, there's toy stories that exist.
No, I mean, this is like, okay, a time of like,
Rover Dangerfield,
uh, rock a doodle,
American tale. I thought this was like Little mermaid time.
American tale, yeah, okay.
I mean, you know. But I love, I loved
that at least in the 90s,
all the women who were villains had
purple eye shadow. That seemed
to be very, very important.
And I also love that when Judy, when Judy went driving and she was on the road and told by that police officer like, you're not going to get through, better turn around.
She sped off like a bat out of hell.
Did anyone notice how fast she drove?
I did not clock it.
She threw that car around into a turn and sped away.
Wow.
It was hilarious.
I'm just going to say that Beauty and the Beast comes out in 19.
Okay. There we go. An American tale comes out in 1991. Fival goes west, of course. Of course.
Rockadoodle comes out in 1991. These are movies that look very different from this movie.
Well, I mean, there is something about it where it feels like these cells might have been purchased on a black market. You would even say maybe a quail market, you know, bespoke.
Oh, boy. And you would get this like, because there is something about it where this all feels left over. And look, I know these kids are so.
supposed to look sweet and kind, but they all look like kids who are having terrible allergy
attacks.
Like, their eyes are just big enough and watery enough to look like they're just like, oh,
their sneeze is like a living right in their headspace.
They don't look well.
They're also all facing out.
They all stand in the exact same direction at all times.
They have to.
I mean, they only had one.
Well, they're using the same cells.
Yeah, they're using the same cells over and over again.
And it's clear because none of the, you know, the, you know,
they just have written a script to cells that they had, I think, to scenes that they had.
Because I don't think, like, none of this makes, none of this adds up as a movie.
Well, I mean, I also don't understand how the whole town gets involved.
At the end of the movie, the entire town is around the tree.
It seemed that this is a very small issue.
Mavilda is going to cut down a tree.
And then everyone shows up.
But yet, again, I just want to call it back, which is, it is a weird moment because
a child is missing reportedly falling off a cliff in the woods and a town is much more concerned
about a tree that no one has any connection to because at this point the tree is not a national
landmark and it seems the boy is crying the boy is crying and he says she fell down I lost her
he's like beside himself and then it's like start up that chainsaw we're killing this
tree and everybody's like fuck the little girl we have to save the tree
which is bizarre i mean is it an ecological story i don't know i mean that oh wow i mean i do think
the way he tells that with the way he shares the news about lily like it does seem so definitive
like she's gone she's dead she's she's dead so there is something i can't live on their side
but there's something i do understand like they radically have to accept that news can i ask a question
please is the little blonde boy's name pappy yes or happy
pappy pappy now why is he named pappy isn't pappy like an old man like a grandfather's
nickname like you know um my pappy like yeah pappy is not like it's not a nickname it's not a it's not a
nickname for like a like patrick or something i couldn't wrap my head around the fact that this little
boy's name is pappy
Lily, Pappy, Pappy Kindle, you should call it my his full name.
Pappy Kindle, which makes me also wonder, the Kindle family, is this Amazon product?
I mean, this is like War the World's level stuff.
You know, let's have the Kindles come in, and you know what?
She can read to them any story, access anything they want, magazines, audiobooks, now in color.
By the way, did anyone else wonder, like, what happened to the Kindles in their previous town?
Are they running from?
Yes. And when they show up, the mayor is basically like, I'm going to put you in this thing of this job over here.
Like, it seems like he's just getting placed not based on his skills set. Yeah, none of it.
He's just being told to work at a lumber mill. That's communism. I'm going to be honest, that's communism.
Whatever your trade is, it doesn't matter. You do this now. Right. You are a lumber. The people, your family belongs to the town. They're not yours anymore. Your family belongs to the town. They are community property.
This is communism.
I believe this is a story about communism.
Well, here's the other part of it.
The mayor is coming with the bags of money.
And the way he gives the bags of money is by seeing that the orphans are in nice clothes.
Right.
But these orphans never leave.
So she is doing a bad job because I imagine part of somebody running an orphanage is like,
you want to get some out the door.
It's like running a car dealership.
You wouldn't get more money in a car dealership.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I think she's getting money.
Do you think she has to fill out a report though every year?
like I you know there there were maybe there weren't any placements but like this many people came
to see the orphans as potential adoptees like because she must have to she must have to
account for something there doesn't seem to be I'll be honest any oversight there's no CPS there's
no seems his arrival with the bags of money this this town seems to be the mayor and Mrs. Mvilda
I mean, it is an orphanage that is run, I mean, like literally with the least oversight,
it's an orphanage of fear that has run with the least oversight because all he needs to do is see
that they are in a pretty dress.
And then he, by the way, this is disturbing to me.
Look, I've seen a lot of weird stuff, but seeing kids get naked, like ripping clothes off a kid
and having them in their underwear.
I'm like, I don't need to see little kids in this, like, this rag tag generic peanuts gang.
I don't ever want to see Lucy in her underwear.
I don't want to see the Linus naked.
I don't even want you saying, I don't even want you saying what you're saying.
Yeah, I don't want it available as audio.
I don't want it.
Are putting images into my brain that I didn't ask for, you know?
I don't want it.
Especially about Linus.
I mean, the other thing is, what world is this money?
Like, is he, like, I mean, we are also in a world where like, why is the money in bags?
Why is the money?
I'm just thinking about that.
Oh, money's always in bad.
Money's always in days.
You know, if this is, if this is run, if he's sort of running this as a communist utopia, then I do think that I understand, in Alaska, I do understand Mrs. Mavilda's gambling addiction a little bit more.
Right.
I understand the need for like, you know, excess and stepping out.
Like that does, even if it doesn't lead any way.
Well, it also, it does, that also feels to me like the idea that this takes place in a frontier town, basically, where it is people are working in the mine or the mill or whatever.
That's how they make their living.
But really what it is, it's just low lives who are doing gambling and scheming and it's Mrs. Mavilda and her poker friends.
You know what we don't see is a ton of, like, townspeople who are like good people.
We just see villains, and the only good person really is the mayor, I think, and Mrs. Hopewell, the tree.
Well, and Judy.
Sure, sure, sure.
And licorice.
I don't trust licorice.
I don't trust licorice either.
Lickrish, I feel like left Lily.
Lichorish should have gone after Lily.
I will say, no.
Justice for Lickrish, because I think Lickrish did do a good job fighting the bear.
Okay, you're right.
Yes, but should have been killed.
I think should have been killed.
Was that bear the same bear from the jungle book?
It did look like they may have.
It is blue.
It's definitely blue.
There was, but there's this one moment where the mayor does say, like, there's weird editing.
Of course, like, I think you're right, Jason.
Like, there's points where they're like, they have too much time and they're rushing.
Then there's points where they don't have enough time and they're cutting.
So you're this weird thing where, like, the end of the movie is like, and then it's all good.
And she's great.
And we don't even see any images of her.
It's just a wide shot saying that everything worked out great.
It's like, it's like the way that I get when I'm trying to tell my kids something.
I'm like, yeah, yeah, it's fine.
It's fine.
And they worked out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't worry about it.
They're fine.
They're good.
But there's this one moment where the mayor goes,
I've got enough money here to get the children new clothes.
And still some left for their Christmas.
Like, it's like there's a long beat.
I've got enough money here to get the children new clothes.
And still some left for their Christmas presents.
Like, it's like, I was like, what happened?
Like, did he have a mini stroke?
There's a lot of that.
kind of stuff where it feels like it's just because they have more footage of the mayor
talking so they're going to fill it up and make it last it almost feels like it's that's what
i mean it feels like when you watch an old tv show and you're like why is this scene seven minutes long
right the plot points were over minutes ago so why is magnum still hanging out at the king kamea maya
club just to watch somebody fall down in the sand by the way i mean i would imagine that they're
that Mavilda would also get put in jail.
It seems like a very lax system
that would be like, you know what?
Well, and that's Judy's fatal flaw.
Yeah.
And that's where Judy is, you know,
her underreaction,
her willingness to turn a blind eye,
her,
her, you know,
need to, like, rescue Mrs. Mavilda
and not restore justice to this town
is really deeply troubling.
It's a, you know,
there is no, Mrs. Mavilda shows no remorse.
She really doesn't have a, she doesn't have a real turn in a way that you're like,
just seems she got caught.
Do you feel like the lightning strike, like kind of shocked it out of her, like electroshock therapy?
Like it just like, I would have loved if they showed that.
If she was like, if after the lightning strike, she was like wonderful and loving and lovely,
you'd be like, okay, she's changed.
Santa changed her with lightning.
Or like it was a stroke or something, you know, when people have.
Because what we don't hear at the end.
is that Mrs. Mavilda stopped gambling.
No.
She's just good.
Well, now she maybe just gambles smaller amounts.
Yeah.
By the way, again, you said justice for Judy.
June, I just wrote this line down.
There's a moment where Judy tells the kids that they won't be getting the new clothes.
And then the kids are upset.
And she says, please, children, don't make it more difficult for me.
Yeah.
I know.
Listen, I'm so back and forth with her.
I just admired her carpentry.
What can I say?
Here's the thing.
Judy is up against insurmountable odds.
So she cannot help but fail over and over again because it's simply too much.
That being said, she could do better.
She could do better.
Judy do better.
Yeah.
You know.
Judy just do better.
But also orphans do better.
Like these orphans are just standing around.
They are not doing a goddamn thing.
And orphans, by the way, do better and turn to each other.
Yes.
builds community like people always say that if you feel unhappy in your life and depressed and
like are constantly making yourself the victim like turn around and put some energy into what is
yes into the people around you into the spaces around you you know invest in the opportunities
of your the person to your right the person to your left don't don't try and tell me that you
can't make yourself a better life unless that tree is your best friend well okay so I guess
I guess if I'm, if I'm going to take away all the things we've been saying about this movie and just judge it in a way that's like, what was the intention here?
Like, what is the Christmas moral of this story?
So, such a good question.
Like, I don't think there is one.
Believing, no.
Nope.
It's not about believing.
It's not about the Christmas spirit.
It's not about love for one, for each other instead of craving gifts and so forth.
I mean, it's not about the spirit of Christmas.
They do say wish, heart.
at one point.
It's about one of the, oh, you know what they do do is the kids all want things.
And then the kids are like, I shouldn't want things.
I should wish instead for Mrs. Hopewell the tree to be saved.
Right.
But also, of all the people who don't want things, the kids should get some things.
The kids have not gotten anything.
They don't have clothes.
They don't have toys.
They don't know what Christmas is.
They have such shitty attitudes.
I mean, they really do.
the kids are the kids are sleepy i mean the kids seem like they are i mean the
kids seem like i'll be honest the kids seem like mrs mavilda's giving them a benedrill every
morning i do think they might be on drugs because like the fun thing about orphan movies and i know
this is wrong but when you're watching them as a kid and you're watching annie as horrible as
the ms hanigans of the world are there's something so appealing about seeing about kids being together
Yes. Even in Oliver, sleeping in the same quarters, one of the little one being way more of a rascal and taking risks and the other one's having, like there's something so compelling story-wise watching these stories as a kid.
Yeah. I am this. I am that one. Yeah. I'm a voice in the, I'm a voice in the animated movie, The Twits, which is one of the role doll books. Yeah.
which has very fun up-to-stuff orphans.
The orphans are driving the story because they are,
they have the ability to go out into the world and stir shit up.
And so they do.
And it's, it's a blast because the orphans are, they have agency.
They're not just sitting around waiting for some Judy to come make it fucking better.
But Jason, this is the thing that you have refused to talk about.
You also play a mayor in the Twits and you are not talking about.
oh boy like you have been in this position i mean what is the mayor doing right what is the mayor doing
wrong it's so true it's so true because the mayor does not support the orphanage in any way like
he doesn't show up my character of the mayor doesn't show up with bags of money um he is so much
more focused on his reelection campaign okay so does your character address role dolls anti-semitism
at all he does not but i will say his butt explodes okay oh okay hey that's fair you know look
His butt swells and swells and swells until it explodes.
Not a fart.
His butt explodes.
Well, that is upsetting.
So do you feel like it was an asshole that exploded or it was like a butt cheek explosion?
I'll be honest.
The director, the wonderful director, Phil Johnston, I asked him so many times, what has happened here?
What is the injury?
Because you then later see him in the hospital in traction and it looks like they've done some, like,
cheek surgery.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Like, what was the,
what was this?
Like, I need to know,
so I understand how to play it.
Well, of course.
So I understand how to inform
my vocal performance.
Right.
You don't want to be like this guy
who becomes Jimmy Stewart
at the end of the movie
and in the beginning of the movie
sounds perfectly normal.
Holy shit.
This is truly one of,
wow.
I mean, one of, like, again,
we keep on saying this recently.
Like, these are movies
that are blowing our minds,
because I'm like, I did not know this existed.
And in 45 minutes, I have more questions than I ever have had.
But here's the thing.
I am so looking forward to the time when in, I'm going to say 45 minutes from now
when I have forgotten this movie.
It's already doing very far away.
I'm so looking forward to that time.
I, like, I still am, I'm thrilled, by the way, to still be thinking about and laughing about
and talking about my boyfriend's back.
Oh, yeah.
But this, I hope to never revisit.
This is, this I want wiped clean from my memory as soon as possible.
This is, to answer the question you're leading us towards Paul, I do not recommend this.
Really?
This is, I found this to be, to what we were saying earlier, so weirdly long, even though it's short.
So the scenes are so boring and so drag on with just either exposition or,
unnecessary information, I couldn't make heads or tails out of it.
Well, and I will say, I kind of feel the same, and we did keep our, we did keep our nine-year-old up
last night, a little bit later than usual.
To 10 p.m.
You can watch the movie with us.
And he wanted to go to sleep.
I can't wait until your son's write books that are revealing the way Paul's book is
revealing, but all of the stories are about all of the movies they were exposed to.
They have seen, and by the way, we get excited when.
it's a kid's movie.
Oh,
finally,
you can watch it with us,
like the fart movie
with Rupert Grip.
Oh, yes.
You know,
like they,
like they,
and that one,
I think,
went over better.
I'll tell you this much.
I will read you one or two of these second opinions.
Great.
Because,
but I don't trust them.
I,
but here we go.
It's now time for second opinions.
You're a lot of day.
You're a lot of day.
You're a day.
You're a movie was a piece of shit.
Yet this person recommends it.
Tell me what is the message.
Maybe that art is subjected.
I need a second opinion.
So it was very hard to find second opinions for this.
So we had to go to Letterbox.
It's not a real movie.
It's not a real movie, yeah.
So we had to go to Letterbox, even though it went straight to DVD.
So it should be able to be reviewed on Amazon.
Pisswater Dead Girl.
Okay.
On Letterbox.
Okay.
This is so wonderful.
The real children voice acting adds such a beautiful, homie vibe to the whole thing.
Their eyes are so somber.
It's enchanting.
I like this a lot.
Five stars.
That does seem earnest.
It does seem earnest.
And I will say one of the things that they mentioned that we did not mention, I don't think, is that, yes, all of the orphan children's voices are little kids' voices.
Yes.
And the kids are struggling.
Well, I will tell you this much.
The actress who played Lily, seven years old, is the real-life daughter of the actress who played Judy, and the actor who played Pappy, who is 10, is the real-life son of the actor who played Bob.
Okay.
And all of the actors in this have one credit.
Most of the cast is made up mainly of friends and family of the animation crew members.
I'm not surprised.
They save some money here.
No union.
No union fees here.
And of course, there's a little boy in this movie named Pappy.
So we follow Pappy.
I mean, like, just talking about it.
I can't wrap my head around a little boy named Pappy.
I will say that 47 Ronan writes,
A Tragedy.
Miss Mavilda is what Lily will become in a few decades.
Surrounded by simpering plastic children,
a life unfulfilled with shattered dreams.
Already she's numbing the pain of her pathetic existence,
as evidenced by her drooping eyelids that indicate that she is on substances.
No matter the bitterness that will morph into hatred,
she too becomes just like her employer exploiting and abusing those grimlins until years have passed
they will call upon that entity santa claus to smite her rotten blackened heart another will take her
place and the vicious cycle begins anew five stars i mean that i mean i think that what they're saying
is you know you are destined now this is another one that feels again these are uh you know
these are different reviews but this one darth raider on i mdb
We went to go everywhere.
Molly went everywhere this week to find these.
Thank you, Molly.
Eight out of ten stars on IMDB,
and the subject line is cute Christmas flick for toddlers.
Nope.
Saw this one.
It was on the USA Network years ago,
and now my kid watches the DVD
and loves dancing around to the music.
It's a cute little show that young kids can enjoy.
Adults and older kids might prefer the standard peanut specials.
Since this one is comparatively a bit rougher and over-narrated,
the story is non-traditional,
but it's a nice change from those same old archaic stories of reindeer with light up noses and talking blobs of snow that our grandparents grew up with.
Apparently, there were some former artists from Hanna-Babera and Disney working on it,
and it's played all over the world in multiple languages since it's released decades ago.
So, while it hasn't become a classic locally, there must be a following out there somewhere.
I believe this is written by someone who worked on the movie.
Yeah.
It feels like it.
It feels like...
It makes no sense otherwise.
This isn't that.
By the way...
What we saw is not that.
By the way, this is the first time ever in the history of the show that there are only two reviews on Amazon.
Two.
Oh.
Oh.
So that we didn't even pull them because out of two reviews, 68% are five star.
This was the...
Okay, so this is the kind of movie that...
I don't even understand that math.
As I was watching it, you know, I don't know, an hour before.
before we recorded.
I got, I don't know, 20 minutes into it and panicked
because I was like, this can't be what we're actually doing.
And I texted the chain to be like, are we, is this what we're doing?
Oh, yeah.
Like, just to confirm because I was so nervous, I was watching the wrong thing.
Also because it was 47 minutes long.
And none of it.
I was like, am I waste?
And then I was like, oh, no, for sure, this is what we're doing.
And it was, it was very upsetting.
I truly was disturbed by this movie.
It takes a lot to shake me to my core.
That's why I think I want people to see it.
I know that YouTube don't.
You want to gatekeep this movie,
but I believe that children,
everyone needs to see it.
And then respect the Rankin' Bass, the peanuts,
a little bit more, a little bit more.
What are the, do you guys have holiday movies now
in your family that you watch?
In the holiday season.
Oh, yeah, big time.
Well, my main one is mixed nuts.
Well, that's June.
Of course.
Of course.
The Nora Ephron movie.
I love that.
I think that Jason was asking.
A movie that I really was pooing and now I enjoy it.
The family ones, home alone, big hit.
Home Alone, too, maybe even a bigger hit than Home Alone one.
Wait, is that the, is that Manhattan?
Is that New York?
Yes, that's New York.
Yeah, great.
Then we're talking about Elf.
Christmas vacation is a big one.
Those four...
What about like Muppet Christmas Carol?
No.
No, not interesting.
Took them to see it at the new Beverly, not into it.
They don't like the Muppets.
Oh, oh, okay.
They love June's movie, 8-bit Christmas.
Sure, of course.
As well as my Christmas movie, the family switch,
which is a little more of a body switch movie,
even though it does take place at Christmas.
But yeah, those are kind of like the ones that we really...
By the way, solid list.
But do you guys watch, like, the Rankin' Bass?
Do you watch the TV specials?
Do you watch a Charlie Brown Christmas?
Like, any of the ones that we watched.
A Charlie Brown Christmas will have on, but we won't.
It's not really like something we'll sit down.
So you guys don't, it's not like these are the ones we watched as kids.
And now we'll, you now have, like, the modern movies that you all watch together.
Yes.
I think that that's, and we like that.
And our kids' taste is getting, it's, it's, it's a,
They have a lot more, you know, like this is a big, this is a big year.
We might even, you know, show them.
Lethal weapon?
Well, I was hoping that would be the Christmas movie of my choice.
You know, diehard has been very close to being shown.
Oh, no, yeah, yeah, diehard is a better one.
I mean, lethal weapon and, of course, kiss-kiss bang back.
Leithel weapon's pretty brutal.
Diehard's a lot easier.
Yeah, lethal weapon is a tough, goes down a little tougher.
Yeah, no, I think so.
It's fun, though.
Yeah, so maybe we'll try a rank and bass.
Family Stone?
Were you guys on Family Stone?
What? I would love to try that out. I hadn't, I honestly had forgotten about it.
You know what I haven't watched? I, because I like the family stone. People hate it. But, you know what I'm going to, I haven't watched in ages that I'm going to revisit this year is home for the holidays?
I love home for the holidays. And that's a Thanksgiving movie, in my opinion. Yes, it is. Yes. So I. Yes, it is. With like planes, one of the very few. Yes. One of the very few.
Yes. Well, also, did we, we talk about Christmas vacation? You said that. Yeah, Christmas vacation is big. Okay. Christmas vacation to me is a very important.
It was a very important piece of my child, or I just, it felt like a formative Christmas movie.
I will tell you, the movie that I have gone off of, I used to love a Christmas story. Love it. Now, if I put it on it, it, it hurts me in a way, it bothers me in a way that I don't like at all.
I prefer to watch, and I know I'm in it, but I do prefer to watch eight bit Christmas.
There you go. Yeah. I mean, I also, I think the holdovers is going to make a show.
showing now. I think I will watch that. I like the holdovers. That's a good. That's a good one.
I like that in a plane, trains, and automobiles way. Yeah. We, we, uh, that's a nice one. And I think
we were enjoying, you know, we're going to watch them all. We, we get into it. Like, I feel like
the kids might like jingle all the way. Oh, yeah. That's good. You know. Oh, yeah. I mean,
I don't know. I'm so excited to stop talking about this movie and watch all of those movies.
Oh, my God. Wow. So excited. I'm, I'm already, I'm so, I'm so glad to tell you guys.
I'm already forgetting this movie.
But please don't forget me mushing dogs on dry land.
Jason.
None of us will ever forget you dry mushing and also your gray market quail hunting and
your de feathering.
Oh, here's the thing.
We are going to continue talking about Christmas, the three of us, in person, with Jessica
Sinclair, on December 10th.
We are going live and worldwide with our annual holiday tradition.
How did this get made a holiday for your ears and your eyes?
Because we are doing it via video.
We'll be in the same room.
It will be a lot of fun.
There might even be some fun treats.
We'll be announcing the movie very shortly.
But you can get tickets.
I mean, you've been listening to this podcast for so many years.
You have no idea what we look like.
No idea.
Why not tune in to the live stream?
See us in real life.
And so get your tickets at how did this get made.com or just go right to Veeps.
Jessica St. Clair will be there in person, which means no tech issues, but will she get there on time? Question mark?
It really is a question mark. Oh, there's no way she'll be on time. I'm willing to say that.
Now, June, you are going to be doing a Christmas special a couple days before ours, right?
That's right. Now, this is a different type of Christmas special, and I do hope Jessica can make it because she is, well, hosting it.
Okay. You know, so I do hope she will be there. But this is our deep dive second annual Christmas spectacular.
Paul will be doing a tour of his Christmas village.
So we'll be able to check in on what all the villagers are up to, what's happening to the town.
That's really exciting.
It's such a fun show.
We will be talking trees and we have a professor of holiday studies.
Yeah, Stoff Shire.
Paul's cousin will be coming on to discuss crampus.
So we'll be learning.
We'll be celebrating.
Head to the deep dive academy.
com for tickets and you can use code howdy for $5 off all ticket prices making us look bad by not
having a code howdy howdy why or howdy i.e great question h-o-w-d-i-e why pick us such an odd
password uh howdy how does that tie into uh why just dive divers well because i would this code
is just for hats, get made lists.
Oh, got it, got it. Okay, got it.
Okay. So it's a tip of the hat to the Howie.
I love it. Yeah.
I still love that for our show, we use code bonkers for mental health.
Yes.
For a mental health advertiser.
Hey, you want to get your brain in check?
You use the code bonkers.
Hey, you know what?
It'd be great for you to talk to a mental health professional.
All you need to do is for 15% off, put in the password.
I'm cuckoo bananas.
Jason, man on the inside, season two is now on Netflix.
Man on the Inside, season two, get it while the getting's good.
And Percy Jackson, season two, is right around the corner.
And then as always, guys, you know, it's a great holiday watch when you've got downtime.
It's called Taskmaster.
Yeah.
Season 19 is all on YouTube.
Season 20 just finished.
Fantastic season.
Watch that as well.
Why not?
And if you are looking for a gift, you can get my book, now on paperback, and hardcover.
And you know what?
If you get it in early, I can even sign it for you.
All right.
Well, don't watch it or maybe watch it.
If you do watch it, don't tell June that you did.
That's a wrap on the Christmas tree.
We hope you all sit down with your family after Thanksgiving and enjoy this wonderful film together.
If you have anything that we might have missed.
And, you know what, there's a lot here.
We didn't even talk about the fact that there are two characters that are just shadows.
They weren't even colored in or even drawn for that.
matter. So there's a lot to add to this conversation. You can give us a call at 619 P-A-U-L-A-U-L-A-S-K
that's 619 Paul ask or write a comment on our Discord. You go to our Discord at discord.g.
G-G-G-S-D-T-GM and we will respond to your messages and your comments on next week's
last looks. Plus, Jason and I will sit down, talk about what we're watching. Also meet up with
our old engineer, Devon Bryant will be a blast. And if you want to give a gift of how did
this get made this holiday, well, guess what?
We have brought back our first shirt.
That's right.
Ridiculous Cage is up.
Take a look.
It's the very first shirt that we took down because we were going to get sued.
And now we've put it back up.
It's in our merch store.
Just go to hd-tgm.com.
You can also get a how-did-this-get-made hat that are very fashionable.
And remember, if you listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify,
please make sure you are subscribed to our feed and have automatic downloads turned on in the show
settings.
It helps us.
And we appreciate it a lot.
A big thank you to our entire team.
Our producer, Scott Sani, Molly Reynolds,
our audio engineer Casey Holford,
our social media manager, Zoe Applebaum,
and of course our intern, Quinn Jennings.
We always want to just also give a shout out to Averill Halley
and just put good wishes in the air for her.
We are always thinking about her.
And that's all we got for now.
See you next week on Last Looks.
