How Did This Get Made? - The Devil's Advocate LIVE! w/ Julie Klausner (Re-Release)

Episode Date: October 23, 2026

Keanu Reeves & Al Pacino star in one of the sexiest/dirtiest movies we’ve ever covered—the 1997 supernatural thriller The Devil’s Advocate. LIVE from The Bell House in NYC, Julie Klausner (Difficult People) joins Paul, Jason, & June to cover the double twist, Pacino’s 30-minute monologue, the “special places” game, Delroy Lindo massacring a goat, and so much more. (Ep. #55 Originally Released 02/05/2013) • Join our Vulture Movies Fantasy League at vulture.com/hdtgm • Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, FAQs, and more • Leave us a voicemail at speakpipe.com/hdtgm • Submit your Last Looks theme song here • Join our Discord at discord.gg/hdtgm • Buy merch at howdidthisgetmade.dashery.com/ • Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of Trauma • Shop our new hat collection at podswag.com • Paul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheer • Paul’s YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheer • Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer • Subscribe The Dark Web w/ Paul & Rob Huebel: youtube.com/@enterthedarkweb • Listen to Unspooled with Paul & Amy Nicholson: unspooledpodcast.com • Listen to The Deep Dive with June & Jessica St. Clair: thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcast • Instagram: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & @junediane • Twitter: @hdtgm, @paulscheer • Jason is not on social media • Episode transcripts available at how-did-this-get-made.simplecast.com/episodes Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How do you make a great movie? Tits and 30-minute monologues by Al Pacino. We saw the devil advocate, so you know what that means. Now it's time for how did this campaign? We're going to have a good time, celebrate some failure, not just need to hate this campaign. Let's go to win the mediocrity of subpar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question. How did this get made?

I'll be very excited to be here. And let me first introduce my amazing co-host. Please welcome June, Diane Rayfield. And Jason Manzo. We are joined by a very special guest tonight. Please welcome Julie Klausner. Welcome, welcome, welcome. You think you're pretty cool, don't you, Brooklyn?

Devil's Advocate. We picked this movie because you guys can relate to it. It's a New York story. It's a universal New York. York Tale. You guys get it. There's shots on streets you know. Can I just say that

I've not seen this movie. It was recommended to me numerous times and I love it. I love it because it's dirty. Like it's a dirty movie. This is the sexiest, grossest movie we've ever done. I feel like this is the closest I've genuinely come to jerking off during one of our movies.

I do feel like, though, it's a movie by men who, like, spend a lot of time in cigar shops. Oh. Yeah, the fucking devil. And hey, you got some dick. And you got some bush. There's so, what comes across in this movie is that there's so many male actors who love saying the word fuck. It's like one after the other. It's so gross. Al Pacino gives a monologue about fucking a woman so hard she can't walk.

Wait. Who did it? Little see it coming. There's a scene in a restaurant, too, where he just sort of gestures to a woman and then she gets on her knees and starts... Under the table. He lifts up the tablecloth

so she can get up and Keanu's like, that's funny. If I'm at two tables away, I'm like, check please. I need Pueurel and the check immediately. I got to get out of here. By the way, he's at a table, not just with Keanu,

with a bunch of people who would be like a Thanksgiving dinner and be like, no, this person's going to blow me and everyone's going to be blowing. But you guys, I don't think they were serving food at that place. That was a nightclub. No. They weren't serving food. They were not serving dinner. They were definitely serving food.

And it was like savory rich food. Are you serious? I thought it was a nightclub. It would be like a risotto. We love the luko. As if we were here and I had like a salmon and I was like, and this dude came up and just blew me. actress, you just see her like...

Yeah. ...with our protagonist getting off a pedophile and a trial. Wait a minute, hang on. I think you want to rephrase that. Okay. Take a second. That is true. Because, because our protagonist getting off a pedophile is dicey. But not, not too far away from the truth because basically it opens up in a Gainesville courtroom, a little girl, the girl from

Welcome to the Dalhouse. Heather Mezzarra. Don Weiner. Don Weiner is testifying about how this man molested her. Her teacher, her teacher, who is Frank Sabatka from season two of The Wire. So good. We get it. You guys are fucking cool.

Okay? Relax. Wait a second. No, no, these guys aren't cool. They like the second season of the Wire. That's bullshit, man. The dog. Oh, he's talking about Ziggie's head. So in her testimony, the teacher,

starts like massage... I guess they couldn't get him... No, no, he's full-blown jerking it. Jerking it. He's giving himself a side jerk under the table. No, but what is he doing with that other hand? He's stroking the table.

Thumbs up. He's stroking the table. Thumbs up to his lawyer, who's Keanu-Reeves, who draws out this testimony from Heather Matarazzo that is excessive. Oh, it is excessive. So, I will only mention this one moment because it plays a

crucial part towards the end. Keanu is upset that this guy's jerking off. Why is Keanu so surprised that this guy is a pedophile? He's not surprised that he's a pedophile. He's surprised that he's so proud of it. Yeah, he's so blazing about it. So he's okay with him being a pedophile. I'm going to get this guy off, but I don't like to watch him get himself off while I'm doing it.

No, it's interesting to note, and we'll come back to it later, but I want to mention it. So Keanu is a little bit upset, so he goes to the bathroom to kind of wash his face. and take a moment. He punches the wall. Punches the wall. Like a fucking man does. And takes off his wedding ring to wash his hands like we all do.

Okay, this is a question I was gonna ask you as an unmarried person, oh God, what am I doing? Oh God, keep a light. Ladies, Jason stand-in-law. Ladies, Jason stand-in-life. For dirty shit. For very dirty. I'm looking for somebody to poop on. Listen, guys.

Back and forth. Back and forth. Parents are in the back. behind of them. Listen, guys, do people take their rings off to wash their hands? No, right? I never take that off to wash my hands. Especially in a public bathroom. What safety is that? Okay, so yes, he goes into washing his hand. And just that movie... Just keep back in the back of your mind. It's what we call in movie making foreshadowing. I also want to know this. And I've asked this before because it's happened in movies we've done before. Has anybody

in this room ever gotten so stressed out in so overwhelmed that you had to go to a bathroom and splash cold water on your face. Has anybody, literally, show events, has anybody ever done that? Oh wait, we have one person who's done it. And you're a woman, you're a lady. You fucking liar, you just want attention.

It is not a done thing. Whoever came up with that concept. Yeah, it's never like, ugh, bring myself back to reality. I feel so much better. No way, you just not have wet on your shirt. I actually, I will say that. You made things worse.

You now were an embarrassment. I will say that after we talked about this on the podcast, one time I went into a bathroom, my book called water on my face to do it. And I was like, actually felt good. I was like, I wanted to see. I was like, oh, I'm a little stressed out. I'm going to put cold water on my face.

Works. So, basically, just to get you into the meat of the story because there's not really much to go on. There's not much to go on? There's a lot. There's like, just, did to get you on that safe? go on. Just to get you guys on the same page.

He, because he gets off this pedophile, not literally. First time we've used literally the right way. They get moved to New York, and they are now working for Al Pacino. Who is interesting, to say the least? Guys, there's a spoiler alert about Al Pacino. By the way, I want to tell you know what?

I'm going to jump to the end and just go, they play the reveal that he's the devil, like, bamp, bam, bha. Like it's the sixth sense revealed. The movie is called the devil's advocate. No confusion. And they show that in the trailer. Yeah.

When he's like, who are you? The cigar chomping, you know, filet mignon eating writers like, fuck it, they're never going to see it coming. This guy's the fucking devil. You think he's a little. Lawyers, a devil fucking nailed it. I'm not Joe Estra House, but I will be.

Uh-oh, I'm still not. When they moved to New York, one of the selling points of their new apartment is, this is the best jogging in New York. Yeah. Oh, really? Oh, how's the jogging here? It's the late 90s when everybody was real, when all of the real estate market was predicated on jogging.

By the way, Is it worth mentioning at all that I thought that Canada Reeks had a racist moment? When he first, there's like an African-American lawyer that he bumps into. And he thinks like this guy has been set up. He goes, no, the black thing was good. You almost got me there. Weird. Like Angus T. Jones style.

Like, I'm cool with black people, but that's cool. That's weird. But we're cool. This is a weird... And he's the one married to the woman who looks like she's in every yogurt commercial. Well, she's her own order. Yoger lady? Yeah, the one in the, like, always in a yoga tank with like

permed hair and light skin. Activities for me because I have an active lifestyle, but not an active bowel movement. The whole storyline they set up about Charlize Theron's character having horrible style and taste is so ridiculous. I mean, we've only seen her looking quite good. Yeah. In the beginning of the movie.

It's another example of gorgeous people being treated like they're like, animals. You jump games. You're fucked. She's stunning. She's absolutely. Absolutely stunning. She's gorgeous.

And Al Pacino's titles up there and is like, really? Really? Really? You're your ugly dumb dumb? Is this what you're gonna look like? Is this what you're gonna show yourself? He basically negs her. Yeah, he negs her.

The devil negs her into cutting her hair. You're right. He's like, put your hair up. And she's like, man, I don't know if I want you. He's like, put your hair up. He says, if you put your hair up like that, it shows your neck. A neck.

Yeah, he talks about how a woman Shoulders are like the eyes of the face. This is Charlize Theron, whose body is fucking bonkers. And he's like, your shoulders and your neck, oh. Your neck. He goes, I'm the devil, oh. He's like, I wrote it down, he goes, your neck's a border town.

You want to find out what's inside. He arrives instantly bonkers. He is. Oh, yeah, he goes from 100 to 100. Yeah. He is. So basically what happens is, Keanu Reeves, in getting

the pedophile acquitted, is drafted from Florida by Al Pacino's law office to come and be a lawyer in New York, right? The big city. They give him a loft in New York, which somehow they instantaneously decorate like it's Florida. Yes. Like, somehow

it is instantly Florida. They paint. They do all sorts of... But also, like, Kiana Reeves' money, go, like, he's like, he gets $400 an hour. But they're spending money as if he is like a multi-millionaire immediately. It's like, you got this job? Oh, great.

We have $10 million. Great. Let's go. Like, there's no, like, oh, there's no lag in the money. I know we're moving forward, but I want to go back to the court scene for one second. Obviously, I'm a supporter of victims of pedophilia. I think we all know that. Oh, they're the best.

I think we know that. And that's clear. But I have a question about her testimony. June, we can agree to disagree on this. All right. My instinct is to believe everything she says. Why did she lie about the teacher? Why did she lie about writing notes about the teacher?

Oh, did she call them a big fat fatty? A big fat hog? A big fat hog or something like that? Pig monster. Hog beast. Well, at first it's pig monster, then it's hog beast. Why did she lie about that? 1,000 pancakes a day.

Thank you very much, sir. basically Keanu, part of his defense to discredit this young girl was that she had passed a note at one point that said her teacher was fat. So that really sways a jury. The other. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. When he asks her, go ahead. Well, but when he asks her about it, point blank,

did you write this note? Did you say these things? These very specific things. She says, no, I didn't. Yeah. Well, technically she's being right because he goes, did you call him a pig man? And she said, no.

She called him a hog beast. Yeah. Yeah, actually, she wins on that way. But I feel like the more damning evidence was the revelation that she played a game called special places? I have never heard of it. Did you have friends over when your parents were away?

Did you play a game called special places? Was it of a sexual nature? What, how can you, does anyone understand how special places plays out? I assume it's the special places on your body. I think you touch yourself in your special places. Has anybody played special places? Is this a real game or...

Okay. These kids play this game. Okay. Special fucking places. Okay. So I can spin the bottle. It's seven minutes. I have only... Durdier. Fuck it. Special places. I feel like the screenwriter's gradually becoming Al Pacino.

The other guys are doing him. It's not far from the truth. Under a pen name. Apparently Al Pacino. Pal Machino. He did not want to be in this movie. He turned it down five times. Five times.

No. Only a... No. No. No. Okay, I'll do it. I'll take a flame throw into that script. But then he and Taylor Hackford, the director, went through and rewrote it.

And they offered it to him again on the sixth time. On the sixth time, he said he liked... Well, he offered it to himself on the sixth time. He said on the sixth time, he didn't think he could betray Milton properly, and he suggested Sean Penn or Robert Redford. But then they don't say where it went from there. I guess then they said no and then he went back. I always confused those two guys.

Robert Redford or Sean Penn. We don't know. Same wise. I suggested Sean Penn, Robert Redford, or Little Bow Wow. They can all handle this kind of material. They are warriors. So they get to New York, the first thing that would say

if something is up with Al Pacino is, he has an oval office with no windows. That's weird. In New York. And then part of the oval office opens, and it is literally on the side of a building. Like, and this is a real building, apparently. where it's like a patio with no railings with two pools.

I don't even know how to describe it. It's an infinity pool. It's two infinity pools. The devil loves water. On like the 90th floor of a penthouse building. So what the fuck? I don't know. You got to see it.

It's real. It's a real thing. It is a real building. Oh, it didn't make it for the movie. Oh, I assumed it was like a CGI thing. I thought it was a sad or something. Oh, no, no, no. they save the CGI for just the balcony scene.

We can't find a balcony in New York. Green's green screen in! But you're not saying that building... That building exists. According to the research that I did in the buildings. Yes. Is that all you researched? I only researched...

I'm a big architecture guy. And when I see stuff like that, I got to get in the horn with my architecture friends. Guys, does it exist. Shear, it does. Great. We'll do the podcast. We're in. We're in.

So then he has to... What happened? We just ummed at the same time. As part of the how did this get made drinking game? That means you have to drink. Double drink. By the way, before we leave Gainesville, when they introduce...

I love! The U.S. The first five minutes. Still in Gainesville. The movie is two hours and 23 minutes. I'm so sorry. But... ...to some choice for...

Kevin Lomax's... Which, by the way, is the craziest name for your... Every mask. That's key. Oh, really? Do you want to know why his name was covered in Lomax? It's a reference to low M-A-C-H,

a term described people scoring below 60% on the M-A-C-H-4 test used by personality and social psychologists to measure machiavellism, which is to measure a person's tendency to manipulate and deceive others for personal gain. Lo-Max tends to agree with the following statements. There is no excuse for lying

for someone else, most people who get ahead in the world lead clean and moral lives. These are precisely the moral issues faced by the character in the film. That is deep. It is fucking hard work. Lomax.

Is that the same case as Bernie Lomax from the weekend of Bernie? Truly it is. The costuming of Kevin Lomax's mother. The religious zealot. The religious zeal. I mean, she's dressed as a polygamist.

She's just as a sister wife. Yes. She looks like a sister wife. If you busted a cult and brought her out, you'd like, yep, that fits. I feel like she's definitely 100% married to Warren Jeff's. Yes. Like, for real. But also, by the way, we...

She didn't have a back of makeup on either. No, it was tough. And we meet her at a gospel church. And nobody else is dressed like that. She's dressed like a pilgrim. And everyone else is dressed normal. I feel like there's a reason why that is. I feel like she's gotten so...

Well, that doesn't matter, but she's gone so... Because of her sin. I would say that, Jason. Don't spoil it. I didn't spoil it. Let's not spoil it. But when... I'm not going to spoil it.

I'm totally going to spoil it. I'm incorrigible. Jason, when we first meet her, she's having a great time. Oh, in church, yes. Because she is in the only place she feels safe. Right. Because we're going to find out... We're going to find out something that's going to blow your mind.

If you saw the movie, you know what we're finding. Guys, it involves her vagina. End of vacation she took. Are you, are you done with Gainesville, June? Yeah, yeah, I am. I want to, we talked about this a little bit. They come to New York, and we talked about

Charlize's style. I think we should show the wall, the painting scene here. This is next level bonkers. Okay, here we go. This shit is where it's at. Here we go. It's Arbor Green, what you think?

That's the yogurt woman, not with your complexion. Other women's always wearing green, by the way. Caribbean Green. Something cool, maybe. That's not there. Too institutional. No, I love green. You know I love green.

But it's one thing to wear it, and another thing to have it always be walls. Put a whole of fruit up here. Marianne, I'm just trying to help. It makes your walls. Do what you want. They're painting the wall scene. And the music would tell you that tension is building.

It's not. It's not building anywhere. What I find so crazy about this. People are painting walls. And studying law. They're making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, and she's painting her own walls. She's also not hired a decorator,

and clearly they don't know where fruit goes. As the fruit was placed on the mantle, you would never put fruit. on a mantle, no matter how rich you are. Unless you were a monkey and you thought it was an award. And the winner of Best Monkey in a Musical goes to. You get a bushel of fruit. The winner of the bushy.

All right, so... I love that she starts wearing a baseball hat in there, too. But it literally is the tension they're cutting between is her painting and him studying law books. That's it. I would disagree with you, Jason. I think they're cutting between the tension of her painting and her painting.

They're painting a different color. I like that they paint over her face as like a wipe. They also paint over Kevin Lomax's face too. It's really weird. It's like real like cheapo editing effects. We'll make it paint over the screen. And we do see later on the color

she landed on after all that. Holy shit. It's terrible. Yeah. It's terrible. We all are agreeing. that too that the woman, we talked about it, I'm just going to say it again. The woman, the yogurt woman,

is wearing the same color that she's painting and she's like, I don't like that color. At one point, she says, yeah, green is okay to wear. I just don't know if it's three walls. The screenwriter was on set and had to, like, feed her that, like, it's okay to wear a line once he saw that she was going to wear that in a sweater. Shit, I've got to talk to these costume designers.

Oh, you know what? We don't have time to change it now. Here's the line now. We'll rewrite it. They go to a big fancy party run by Al Pacino. All the big celebs are there. Celebs like Alphonse de Mado. Fons de Mado by being in this movie

is associating himself with the devil. Don King, also in this movie, as himself, associating himself with the devil. They are clients of the devil. Hey, guys, is Donald Trump in the movie? Oh, I guess they couldn't get him, so they got coach. Greg D. Nelson to beat Donald Trump.

They also say, at one point, Donald Trump was supposed to be here, but he was called away. Do you think Alphonse Damado read the script and knew what he was signing up for? I don't know he was called devil's advocate. I think he probably got the elevator pitch of what it was about.

Because you're right, this is like, not only a guy who hangs out in a cigar bar's idea of what's cool, but it's a guy who hangs out in a cigar bar's idea of what's powerful. It's like if I work for the New York Post, And I'm like, what's the classiest thing I can think of? Like a party with, I don't know, Alphan tomato. And some other senator who was like a lesser known guy.

That guy was a real guy. Yeah, I didn't know who that was either. That was a 1997 reference senator. It was big in the theater. Well, they talk about the end of the millennium coming up to. It was a very like 90s movie in that way. That's when Al Pacino gives the advice on the perm. And then they go up to Al Pacino's other apartment.

Can I say one more thing about the hair reference? and the perm. And I don't want to cut to the end. But later on, we see him with a woman who's prominently featured in the film who has the same exact hairdo... Same haircut. As Charlie's their aunts.

You're right. And I always confuse that woman with the Italian woman. And I feel like the Italian woman disappears halfway through the... They're not different women? No, no, no. They're same character.

They are. They're not. The red head? Yeah, because she has an accent at the first half of the movie. Then she doesn't. No, no. No, no, no. She doesn't have an accent.

She's speaking Italian. Oh, really? No, that's not true, Jason. No, she had the accent on the balcony. She had the accent on the balcony. She doesn't want. What accent? She had an accent on the balcony in that scene where they're lit with a leg. Yes.

She loses it entirely. What did it sound like? Hey, how was it? I'm sorry. Was she Luigi? No, but she, I mean, she did have that accent. It's the same girl. That's the same girl. But we may figure out why she loses that accent because of the twist of the end.

So do you think she was putting it on the whole time? Did she have an accent? That's the same woman, right? It's definitely the same woman. It's definitely the same woman, the redhead. And she had an accent on the balcony, right? And she lost it. All right, what do you say, sir?

Okay. She's Dutch. If you didn't hear that, she's Dutch. The actress is Dutch, or the character was then meant to be Dutch? Is it Catherine Hage from head of the class? The actress was Dutch? What are we doing in fucking? Hiring the Dutch in our movies.

Why? I said it before and say it again, we can't let the Dutch get into America. I'll allow a couple of Stellan Scarsguards every now and then, but we cannot let the Dutch take over our movies. Take their wooden shoes and send them back to Deutschland,

which is what the original it was called, and then German co-opted it. Germany called the Deutsche. So... This is a really... We're learning a lot. a lot in this episode of how did this get made. So they go... We are 15 minutes into the movie.

Barely, barely into the crust. Maybe 15 minutes into the movie. Not a problem. Not a problem because the movie pretty much wraps up all storylines with about two hours. And then there's this 25 more minutes of just speeches. We haven't gotten to the voodoo priest who was on trial.

Oh my gosh. The one who killed the boat. Don't wear a window. Don't forget, in the middle of this movie, there's another trial with the voodoo priest before the trial of Craig T. Nelson. There's two easy cuts you could have made to get this movie down to 90 minutes,

which is Craig, not Craig to Nelson, Jeffrey Jones and the... A real life pedophile. Yeah, a real life pedophile. But if you got rid of the voodoo goat and Jeffrey Jones, it would be a shorter movie. Or if you just didn't make this movie... Shorter movie.

Here's an easy cut. I don't want to make this movie. garbage can. They wanted to make this movie so much that they rewrote the script five times to appease out Pacino. I actually thought that the

voodoo guy at a certain point they might have been trying to misdirect us and have us think that he was actually the devil. What? No. What I'm suggesting is that there was a working title and the movie was not called devil's advocate in the beginning.

No way that movie was not... It was called voodoo guys the devil? Yes. Voodoo is bad. Ha ha ha, jk. It's Puccino. Or Robert Redford, depending on his availability. I said it before.

Bow wow. I mean, well, the voodoo guy, Delroy Lindo. I don't even understand what this case is. I don't understand either. I guess the cops came in and busted him. It's a health code case. They said it was a health code. He was murdering a goat in his basement.

What health code? This is what's crazy. Okay. So his first case he's given is this. And who's, what's the woman's? Deborah Monk, is that the woman who's... She's amazing, I love it. Deborah Monk, amazing, right?

What a treat. Phenomenal actress. Comes in, he's like, this is your first case, bop, bop, b, b, and it's this case. And then hard cut to them watching security camera footage or cops kind of footage

of Delroy Lindo massacring a goat, just like, sawing its throat off. While the cops are trying to stop him. And it's kind of crazy that he doesn't stop. And we'll also just

posit that this is again another chance to say black people are either scary or mysterious. Because every black person in this movie is either scary or mysterious. Again the screener is like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Put something in about black guys. They're scary and they're mysterious.

It was really, it's uncomfortable how many times that they're always really weird. Well, every black person in the movie is linked to the devil. Yes. That's what it is. I just felt like it was weird. There's some weird race stuff in this movie. There's some weird stuff. in this movie? There's a lot of weird race stuff in this

movie. Guys. A lot of weird race stuff. I love that. Everybody's like, I don't know if we can laugh at this. Is that funny? I don't know. Is there anybody around that? I got to look around. They said, they said black, not African-American. I don't know if we're supposed to laugh at this. This is really making me uncomfortable. The white people, the three white people

and the brown guy are making me weird on stage. Is Jason black? I don't think he is. I mean, the terrorists can say it because Jason is black. The terrorists can say it, but those three whites cannot say any of this. I hope he doesn't have a bomb. Del Rilindo decides, he goes, basically he decides he's going to,

he takes a tongue, like a tongue of an animal and then puts some nails in it. He goes, don't worry about it. When we get the trial, he doesn't say it that succinctly. He goes, don't worry about it, I took care of it, the tongue. So they go to trial to, like, try this guy for, whatever, killing a goat. And it does not seem like this law firm should be dealing

with a goat killer. This guy has a lot of money to pay them, though. I guess. And so basically what happens is the guy that he's fighting in court. Like, when Chianna Rees is making his closing argument, the guy's like, object.

He's like kind of coughing. And he looks like he's having a choking fit, and the judge are like, for God sakes, man. Like, not like, you need a glass of water, are you okay? This guy's choking. He's like, oh, you're really wrecking my day. Get it under control.

Control, cougho. Someone should call 911. That's the vibe. I felt like, I don't know if you guys felt this way. I felt like that was a very anti-climactic version of what the devil can do. What the voodoo guy was doing. Because he's obviously going to do-

Because it wasn't in real time. Yeah, because he's obviously doing some voodoo thing with nails and a tongue. And all the guy does really is cough. And it's not even like a productive cough. Yeah. For God's sakes. That was a little disappointing.

But, spoiler alert, Keanu Reeves. gets the guy off sexually. Things are going good for Keanu. So much it gets invited up to Al Pacino's special loft. And they go, hey, where's, I mean, what, it's just an office? And he's like, yeah, yeah, it's just an office. Where's the bed? He goes, oh, he doesn't sleep.

Well, where does he fuck? And then Pacino, one of the best lines, everywhere. Everywhere. I found it, Ben. He does not fuck or sleep, but later in the movie, he wears three-piece pajamas. At a certain point

I'm going to take off this suit and put on my PJs I'm not going to nap but I'm just going to put these on. We have not talked about the Keanu Reeves Shirley's Theron sex scene Oh my God Which is

Next level bonkers So Before you even get that I don't say one thing A surprising amount of granny panties in this movie Every girl is wearing Big Wailers like high weight Well they have pubes too

which is interesting. Gross. It was the 90s. It was the 90s. It was the late 90s. It was a different time. Women loved their bushes. Gross.

So I'm sorry, yes, the sex scene. When you have a triangle, you need bigger panties to come back. You need more. Simple as that. We need, first we need to talk because earlier than the sex scene is the, is, wait a second,

is Charlize and the other two wives are in like a lowman's dressing room. I got this. Where it is like a communal dressing room. Everybody's pulling their tits out. I don't know what the fuck is going on. This makes, everybody seems to think it's cool. I got this scene, so let's take a look at this.

Here we go. Guys, do not jerk off. Here we go. Real or not? They look real. They must be real. Feel him. Oh, no, it's okay, really.

Go ahead. No, no. That's the ultimate test. Why is Charlize wearing half a dress? Yes, absolutely real. Dr. Robert. Watch this. When you were there.

This is the best scene in the whole movie. This is amazing. We'll say that when we saw this on the airplane, June jumped out of her seat, almost leapt into the man next to us. man next to us's arms and he looked over to see demon tits and he's like, who the fuck am I

sitting next to? I was very scared. I did not expect that either and I got scared. I was watching it last night in my hotel and I was like, wow. It is the scariest part of the movie.

Yes, 100%. It's definitely the least expect... There's another one too. The Deborah Monk one. Which part? The Deborah Monk in the mirror demon face. Yeah, but that's not as scary as that one.

Uterus baby, that's a scary moment. Oh, uterus, shmuteris baby. That wasn't... Uteris baby? Yeah, that's when... No. With her ovaries. You're acting like nobody's ever seen

a newborn, not even a newborn, but a toddler holding a woman's uterus in its hands. Big whoop, seen it in Lincoln. This is the uterus. No problem with the uterus baby because that's a dream. She was in Lomens

and that woman turned into a fucking demon and their tits turn into demons. I mean, for real. And maybe I just, like, obviously these people are all wealthy. They're supposed to be, like, New York, like socialite types. Are there fancy places

that have communal dressing rooms? Well, if you go to Sacks and you're spending enough money, you'll get a big dressing room and you can bring your girlfriends in and say, ooh, do you like this? Do you like that? Is that it?

You say yes. That's not a Lohman. Neiman. No, not a Lomens. They're not a Lomens. Because I feel like Lomans is the home of the... It was a Phileen's basement

and their savvy shoppers. Yeah, but it was... It was confusing because it did look like Charlese was just like covered in dresses. Yeah. Well, she had half a red dress on.

And we didn't see the part where she was like, maybe I'll try this one on. I'll sit down. Yeah, and they just discarded dresses on her. I'm gonna say something that I don't want her. She was mad.

She was like, I can't believe they cut into that scene where I'd already been sitting in the dress. Now it makes no sense. Why I have half a red dress on. Right before they have sex, June, you like this moment. Basically, Charlize is freaking out at home,

and Keanu kind of tries to calm her down. Do you remember what he says to her? He goes... Does anybody else remember? Oh, yeah. No, he goes, stop. Reset. That is what he says to his wife who is freaking out.

Stop, reset. That's some crazy robot shit right there. That's how you deal with a panicky wife? But here's the thing, that's how you have to treat women. I am single. The sex scene unfolds where they're gonna make a... Is this, we're gonna make a baby, right? We're gonna make a baby.

So they're gonna make a baby and... But well, we haven't seen her, but so, so there is, the woman who we're arguing whether or not the Dutch, The Dutch woman. Well, she is the same woman. The Dutch woman, same woman. Keanu Reeves is like, he's gonna, he's gonna blast Charlize,

you know, and they're getting down, and he takes, like, goes, and then he starts, instead, it starts to be this woman, the redhead. Yeah, he's fantasizing about another woman while he fucks his wife. Like, that's never happened before. No, no, I don't think he's, no, he's not fantasizing.

I don't think she's transforming. I think that's, yes. I don't get this movie. No. Okay, this is what I think. Because actually I was confused by this. This is what I think. Yeah.

But part of my explanation involves a slight spoiler. Okay, yeah. No, you could spoil it. Okay, so, spoiler alert. We're like an hour into this episode. Guys, spoiler alert, Al Pacino is the devil. Guys, you would have never seen it coming unless he saw the trailer, the poster, or read the title. But, so here's the thing.

Here's the thing. He, Al Pacino's plan at the end that he reveals is that Kiyan, Keanu and the Dutch woman. Oh, you. There's argument in the crowd. You fucking assholes. You, audience, get your stories straight. We will let the...

Decide outside where she's from. Come in and tell us. This side of the house is all like she's Danish. This side's like, she's all Italian. This side, she's like she's two people. Let's come... We'll just lay out the big reveal. We can lay it out and just say that.

Okay, yeah. Kiano's mom had a one-night stand with the devil. Had a baby. While on vacation in New York. Oh, yes. And then I had a baby which is Kianu. And then he also had a daughter. We don't know who her mother is.

And his big plan is to have... But the daughter is the Dutch-Dainish Italian girl. Yes. Okay, so he says, I want you guys to have sex and create the Antichrist. Exactly. Okay. So, my theory is that when Keanu is fucking Charlize,

she's transforming into the... the Dutch woman because that would bring about the antichrist but they don't finish having sex. It wouldn't because he needs to have free will. Yes. But he is having free will with who, he's choosing.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. We got to say that the devil works in mysterious ways because the devil also fucked and sliced Charlize while he was with Keanu all day. So... Is that true or did he just say that?

He was with Keanu all day. at the court. Wait, didn't he say that he had sex with Charlie's Theron? Yeah. No, she said, she told Keanu in the church that she had sex

with Pacino. And he says, but he was in court with me. I think he can just be anywhere he wants. And that's why the devil's daughter could also be everywhere she wants. She was starting to get him like riled up. She's like, this could be, you know. That's what I, so I think that sex scene

was the first attempt to have a baby with the red-haired woman. Does nobody agree? I don't think that's true. No? Because her body would have had to have been there. You guys, you're my enemies. I think he had to choose to do it in order to end up.

You had to choose to it? But don't you? Well, this is really interesting take on it. Okay. The Jews always did. He had the Jews do it. But no, I think what it was, I think that what he was trying to do was tempt him.

So he was able to transform. Because as long as they lived in that apartment building where he was in the front of it. You mean the Rosemary's Baby apartment building? Yes. Yeah, because by the way, I think he also needed to be on that altar at the end.

Which altar? You think? How come nobody noticed that altar? That altar was in 15 minutes of that scene. With the relief? Had sex. With the painting? No, no.

In front of that sculpture is an altar, which is like with a knife on it and all this like, it's like clearly a sacrificial altar. But sometimes it's just like, coptale, we're walking around. You know, like, hey, What's this about?

You know what? You put a bowl of fruit on it. You put a bottle of Jack Daniels. People will not even think about it. Put a fruit on it. Is that a put a bird on it, call back? Yeah. I like that.

Put some fruit on it. All right. Portlandia, coming back to IFC, you guys. Watch it get on it. Oh, man, oh man. Just subtle books for our friends' shows. What should we, I mean, I want to talk to the audience, because they obviously have a lot of questions.

Should I show the scene where he goes to confront the... Whatever the question is, the answer is yes, show the scene. All right, here we go. I just wanted to add something about that final scene if we're jumping around, which is he tells Keanu Reeves two things. This is your sister and she's ovulating. Yes. What he says is, do you mind if I use you for an example?

He goes, there's something else. She's ovulated. He gives her one of those. And it was as if to say, in case you're wondering where ovulation, shit happens, I'm gonna point to it. Around here, and then she takes her dress off and she's naked and how Pacino's like standing behind her, waiting for something.

I'm gonna show a little bit of that coming up. Let's just walk you through this. Charlize goes crazy because she saw the baby with her uterus and she saw those demon tits. And she gets institutionalized, she kills herself. Kianu, fresh off of the hospital where his wife just killed himself. Blood on his collar, Pacino's like, why don't you fuck your sister now?

But Chiano comes in hot to this scene. We forgot to mention in the sex scene earlier, he sucks her toes. Oh, yeah. And Charlize is like, what are you doing? Oh, also I want to talk about Al Pacino Flamenco dancing. Go ahead. Oh, okay.

The last 30 minutes of this movie are essentially only Al Pacino monologues. And this kicks it off. In which he's either screaming or whispering. This is what Al Pacino's. about so here we go this is amazing all right here we go a gun in here god damn what did you do to my one well on a scale of one to ten ten being the most depraved act of sexual theater known to man one being your average Friday night run through at the Lomax's household I'd say not to be a modest Marianne and I got

it on at about five on fuck you place it's the final fig league That's all we got there. The final thing. I wish we could watch all of that scene. I was trying to cut these clips conservatively because they go on for like 10 minute clips. They make no sense.

There was a point in the movie where every major storyline had wrapped up. Yes. And there was still 40 minutes left. I want to hit some things here. We haven't even... Yeah, Craig T. Nelson's entire trial we haven't talked about. No, we haven't talked about this. At least an hour of the movie.

It's a source. A solid episode of Special Victims Unit in the middle of this movie. Here, just like, we told you that Charlize goes crazy after she sees her baby playing with her uterus. She goes crazy for a long time. I also love that when she does kill herself in that hospital room,

she takes a piece of mirror and stabs it in her neck. One of the nurses runs in. She's bleeding profusely out of her and starts giving her CPR. No. First, first she does this. First thing she does is this

when you hold your hand like this. She goes, her throat is cut open. She's not how, it's not like, oh my God, she has no pulse. It was, she looked at her like she was an old needle in it.

She looked at her, she was an old Nintendo cartridge, open of her throat and just blew in the sound like, it doesn't work. Got it work now. She's like hemorrhaging out of her neck. And a medical professional is like, don't get it.

This is a head scratcher for me. As the devil Al Pacino sings as Sinatra, I said that the whole final act is like a 30-minute one-act play. Or a vaudeville show. I mean, because he throws his voice, he does Kara Reeves' voice. He does flamenco dance, which I like to believe, like, in that sixth pass, when Picino collaborated, I feel like the only thing he asked. was that he flaminkgo danced.

He should go for the limingo dance. I think they go to a club and I dance with a woman. Flamenco is the devil's music. I think he did the same pass on scent of a woman. Because he dances in that movie

as well. Does he play the same character? Yes. He's the devil. He's the blind devil in that movie. Here's another question. Is Al Pacino good in this? Think about it. Such a good question. The answer is no.

I am going to say... Let me think about that for a no. He is terrible. I'm going to asterisk it and say, this is the best of latter-day Pacino, right? Like, he, like, this is not 88 minutes, Pacino. This is not Righteous Kill, Pacino. This is, like, how you want to see him.

Like, if he's going to go crazy, it's better than Senate of a woman because he has more outbursts. So I think it's, like, right in that sweet spot. It's on the down slope, but heat to me is the Latter-day Pacino great role and everything else is pretty much like an accidental fart that turns into diarrhea in your pants. You're just like, oh, I'm just going to, oh, oh, something bad just happened

because of those espressoes I had. How much of that is acting, though, and how much of it is just that he looks crazy? He's got old man teeth and he's got this wing. His changes in the middle of it. His eyes are... Those are all crazy things. All of his weeks get... He has, like, really, like, close-cropped hair

for the beginning of the movie. And then it's, like, wild Pacino hair. He gave himself a hair consultation. Oh, here's my boy. He's also constantly offering Keanu Reeves other women to fuck. And Keanu and Charlize are perfectly happy. They're so happy.

They're fucking all the time. They're kissing all the time. But meanwhile, like, you know, Al Pacino touches her shoulders. and she's like, oh, oh, God. And then all of a sudden, Kianna's like, yeah, I fuck that Italian woman. Like, they go away from each other so quickly. There's no signs.

Oh, their relationship implodes. And then he's constantly catching, like, in the elevator. Like, they walk out of the elevator, and then Kiana looks back. And Pacino has... Giselle. Giselle. And the redhead, who we later reveal is his daughter. Was that the same red...

Yeah, such a fucking idiot. I think it's a different one. Same one. Same one. Guys, help me out. I thought, with the same one, don't see that his daughter? Hold on, raise your hand if it's same.

Put your hands down, dummies. Raise your hand if it's different. The same one. Same wins. Okay, okay. So the minute Charlize exits the elevator, Keanu looks back, and instantly, the two girls

are like fingering each other. Instantly, and Pacino's like, aha, right? You want to come upstairs? You want to come upstairs? They're actually, one is licking the other's neck, which is like with two straight girls be like, oh, then we'll do something hot and lesbian-ish.

You're like, yeah, I'll lick her neck. But Kianu, every time Kianno's like, you rascal, Kianna like totally entertains it every single time. I love earlier in that scene, before they get off on the elevator, they've, I think, just come back from dinner with his mother, the sister wife.

Oh, that's, isn't that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's carrying leftovers in a tin, foil swamp. Yes. And she asked the dormant, you hungry? And then she gets on the elevator and Pacino gets on the elevator and you know something's up.

Well, you think that she's like getting the bad Jesus vibes off of them because he's the devil, but you know, they banged. Oh, guys. There's like hours more to talk about. We haven't even gotten to the twist ending. I'm exhausted. Let's open it up to you guys. If you have questions, I can kind of

come to you guys and we'll see. All right, what's your question? They set Al Pacino up as being so wealthy. I think we see him with his own town car. Why is he always on the subway? I can answer that. He's like Bloomberg. He's the devil and he wants to be underground because that's where hell is.

I disagree. He says why. He's the humanist. He says it's the fastest way to get around. I'm going to teach you the fastest way to get around this town. The subway, my boy. But don't you think he wants to be close to hell? He goes in the trenches, you see?

All right, what's your question? I'm surprised you guys have not mentioned that Al Pacino's name this movie is John Milton. Yeah. From Paradise Lost. And I just wanted to mention that. We get it.

You're smart. But when were you? Where are you for the MoMAQ? You want to stand up so that you are smart guy? All right, we have a question over here. Question over here. I wanted to know what your thoughts were on the scene with the Mexican on the train.

Oh, that's a great scene. Al Pacino on a train runs into a Mexican man. And anyway, what do you know? Hang on. Hang on. We have another country of origin dispute. Someone over here just shouted he was Puerto Rican.

Oh, I thought he was Dominican. All right. We didn't ask the question. Let's see. Are you, sir, are you racist against Mexicans and Puerto Rican? I'm Puerto Rican, I'm offended. All right, he's all right, he's right. Well, yeah, Al Pacino says, why did that, uh, Latino, gentlemen,

why did he start shit with Al Pacino in the first place? Because Al Pacino was looking at him. And he goes, well, you know those people are very fiery. I don't know about that. Anyway, Pichie, he catches Pichino looking at him, and he's like, what are you looking at? And then Puccino does. And then you're like, your friend is.

fucking your girlfriend on the ass on your favorite green bedspread. After they're doing crack. He paints the worst picture of this guy's life. Pacino also speaks so many languages in this movie. Right. It implies that being educated is devilish. Yeah. I will say that was a great...

I thought that was a crazy scene to answer your question. All right, here's another question. All right, about the twist ending. So now it's revealed... Can I spoil it? Yeah, go ahead. All right, so it's revealed at the end that this whole thing was kind of like a vision that Keanu had in the bathroom from the beginning.

But then it's revealed. The first time... There was one guy. There was one guy who was like, oh! The first time we're not an audience member... We're not all going to go? Oh, just me? Oh, my bad.

When I told you guys to remember the bathroom scene, remember that because that all was in his mind. Wait, was it all in his mind or did the devil's at the talk about? Or I don't think it was. Because the double twist. There's a double twist because the devil then still has an end. Wait, so wait. Let's see, what's your question? All right.

So then it's revealed that Al Pacino was the reporter that wanted to tell the story of the newly reformed Keanu. Yeah. My question is, my question is, does Al Pacino have Keanu Reeves in some kind of crazy loop until he makes the anti-crime? Yes. Yes. Whoa. Holy shit. Best question of the night.

Yes. That question gets a drink ticket. You guys didn't even know that was possible, did you? I just wanted to... Like six more people have questions now. I just wanted to... Basically, like, I mean, basically it's revealed that the reporter who eggs him on

is the... I mean, he's the... Everyone's the devil. Well, I think... Yeah, yeah. And I just wanted to mention that after that, when he morphs back into Al Pacino and the credits roll, they don't play sympathy for the devil, they play paint it black?

And then's gonna be a real cool song by the Rolling Stones about devils. And they like put the wrong song on and no one noticed. All right, I'm gonna surprise this next guy with this question. What's your question, sir? Why the hell did the dad

from Beetlejuice get beat to death as do homeless guys? All right, so this is Eddie Barzune played by Jeffrey Jones, real-life pedophile. He's a total... Guys, he's an RLP. Long-time caller.

The question is, why was he beaten by a pack of invisible joggers? Well, he was chased down by invisible joggers and beaten by homeless people. What we're meant to understand is that he's going to testify against the devil and their company with, what is...

That guy who gets hit by a car. Thank you. The Weaver Council. And so Pacino knows he's going to be betrayed by Jeffrey Jones, and during his monologue, he can control people, I guess, and has him murdered by homeless people. I got that.

And joggers, which is why the jogging district that they lived in was set up in the first place. Well, but by the way, they're at the reservoir in Central Park. Wait, call it the jogging district, please. Sorry. He is running in the opposite direction. Jeffrey Jones is running in the opposite direction.

And some guys are like, hey, you're running the wrong way. He's like, fuck you. It's like you're in the wrong, you're not in. But basically, underscoring that jogging scene that's the scene I was going to pull, it's like a seven-minute monologue that makes no sense. Nothing.

He's like, he's the future, he's a guy, he's this. And I felt like that monologue, I felt like I was watching that monologue so intently because I was like, important information is being conveyed to me now. And then at the end of it, it was all madlib, the adjectives, adjectives. It was like, the green box jumps over the,

Empire State Building. And I smelled fart in Paris of dildos. What's the pronoun? I need a pronoun. Call for name. But for real, like, at the end of it, I was like, wait, was all of this just to kill Jeffrey Jones?

Why didn't you just kill Jeffrey Jones? The monologue made, like, no sense. Yeah, that was a red herring. I have a question. You know what? This movie is a red herring. I have a question for you. From you.

On the topic of monologues, does everybody have a favorite moment that Al Pacino just bellows something completely crazy. Well, for me, I think when he goes, I'm unpredictable. I have my hand at Mona Lisa's skirt.

Don't know what that means. I like it. Mine was this. Don't be such a fucking chump. I was like, is the devil calling people a chump? I doubt it. I liked it when it was

like one of those riffs in that long nonsense one at the end where he was like, I'm going to take the bricks out of your briefcase. Less than the monologues and the words were just some of the physicalizations at the end. Because it was just pure clown work at certain points. I liked when he said hoo-a. Just kidding. He didn't say that. He didn't say that. Any of us have said hoo-a throughout the night. Hoo-a. Hu-a. Hu-a.

All your question. Feels really good. Like in the last 40 minutes, it takes place in Al's loft with that relief behind and those the statues come to life. Didn't they seem really invested in the outcome of the movie? Oh, yeah. I actually have a clip of that. And that's another, like, resume builder, like, relief blower or something.

I couldn't figure out relief blower. I actually thought at a certain point. I hate when the people use those relief blowers and it keeps, it's really loud and noisy. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Can I show this clip?

We talked about the twist ending. Oh, this is what Al Pacino is going to help Keanu fuck his daughter, who's his sister. I just cut the end of me. We know what's going to happen. I just condescending because it's so crazy, it's very visual. It's, I don't know, I love this moment. So here we go. We'll take a look.

It's time to step up and take what's yours. It's time. Free will, right? This is the twist. Guys, guys, guys, I just figured something out. Got, yeah? What? What? This movie's terrible?

Is it possible? That Keanu is the devil taking the form of Alpuccino. of Al Pacino. No. Because Al Pacino turns into Keanu and then that's when his Archangel wings pop out. Oh, see, okay. This is, oh.

I don't. He comes back at Reeves? Yeah, I think. Oh, I think this is going to take a while. Then who's a reporter? No, I think that, well, why would Keanu torture himself? It doesn't make sense. All right.

I think what's more likely, okay. I think what's happening in that is Pacino's close. get burned off. Yeah. So we get a little bit of topless Pacino.

I want to do it. I won't do it unless I have my shirt off. I want my shirt off. Hooh. So we've got fucking Pacino, tits out. It's happening.

Guys, how much happens before Keanu hits the ground? She, he catches fire. She falls to the ground. She, he is further on fire. The people in the background are freaking out. She mummifies into a dead demon. He rips his flaming clothes off.

Keanu at a 45 degree angle. Still not on the ground. Still not on the ground. I do want to talk to what this guy said about the... Because behind Al Pacino throughout this final scene is like this... The painting people. Yeah, it's like a...

It's like an excuse for more nudity. Yeah, that's all it is. It's like a big plaster of Paris, like wall mount that, like, humans come out of and they're fucking... I think it's more papier-in-a-miss. Yeah, probably. Pop-Badiche. And they're fucking in this, like,

Walmount, and then it is so funny to watch them react. Like, oh no! No! We're the stone people. The stone people don't like this outcome. My theory is this. My theory is that as we're watching it, Al Pacino is becoming younger and younger and younger.

So at one point, looks like Keanu because he is Keanu's father. And it is when he is in young. Young angel. Before he fell. Young, yes, before he fell, when he has a thing. He's like, oh. That's why, oh.

There we go. Way to go, Jason. He also, as a young man, kind of looked like the Geico Cave Man. Okay, I love it. I love it all. I love everything you've just said. Yeah. I do have to ask.

Then he's the reporter. We see him as the reporter later on. So he... Oh, I have a theory about that, too, but go ahead. Well, but it seems he's jumped right back to the age, we've seen him at the whole movie. Which is the age he is, I think. I think basically...

Just so you know, just to clarify one thing, at the end of the movie, Keanu makes the right choice, he steps away from the child, the child molester. He's like, I can't do this case. He leaves. He's like, oh my God, you've never done that before.

This is outrageous. You'll be disbarred. And the reporter's like, man, I want to do an interview about you because you're the future of law, and he's like, all right, I'll do it. And then that reporter turns into Al Pacino. And he goes, ah.

And again, vanity. Manity. My favorite sin. So my theory is, this woman is just reaching for you. This woman is just like... Like she's in the relief. Paul, you said everything I think, please. You said me, you're talking in my brain.

My theory is that all of these are tests for Keanu, and Pacino is just going to continue to appear to try and test him into falling. It's their internal loop, so it will happen eventually. Which we're here to announce, devil's advocate, part two. This time it's... personal. Now, this movie was directed by Taylor Hackford, who has the word hack in his name.

But can you imagine the movie as originally, with the original director of Joel Schumacher? Yes. He was set to direct the movie in 1994 with Brad Pitt. As Kianu? As Kianu. And then Brad Pitt dropped out. Wait, isn't it Meet Joe Black the same movie?

Kind of. Pretty much. And then it went from Brad Pitt to Christian Slater. Oh my God. Oh my God. Head to head, Slater, Pacino. Amazing. I would pay a million dollars right now to make that movie. Wait a second, it gets better.

After Slater said no, went to John Cusack. Which they kind of did City Hall together. I could see that, yeah. And then they went to a little known actor named Edward Norton. I can see that too. And then I guess they all said no, and they came flying back to Keanu. shit. If this movie, this is the movie I want.

Jack Nicholson as Pacino, Christian Slater as Keanu. Yeah. I want... Or how about Al Pacino as Keanu? Jack Nicholson as Pacino. Sean... Oh, I'm sorry. I misread this, guys. I misread this. It was not that... It was not Sean Penn for the part. It was Sean Connery. That makes a lot more... It makes a lot more. So I want to see Sean Conner.

Honorary and Christian Slater and a movie directed by Joel Schumacher. See, I feel like I would like I would like Nick Cage. Nick Cage. Nick Cage would have been fucking... He could have been the Jeffrey Jones part.

I would like Nick Cage in every part of this movie. Nick Cage as the young girl. And Sylvester Stallone as Pacino. And Jason Statham as Shirley's Throne. That's a how did this get made movie. Obviously we had opinions about this movie, but some other people thought a little more highly of it.

I now take you to some Amazon reviews, five-star reviews. First review was written by Bradley Headstone. This is a good one. All of these are actually some of my favorite five-star reviews. Here we go. This movie is actually a shocking wake-up call in the morals department. It seems to be a reaction against the amoral filth that often comes out of movie theaters.

This movie confronts us with things we are probably all guilty of. This movie is proof... Animal sacrifice? This movie is proof that in horror, blood, and guts are laughable compared to the frightening truth that we may wish to avoid. Bradley Headstone, five stars. That's like a... I wish that was the press release.

for this movie. J.P. Colvert. I love this movie. Al Pacino's portrayal of Lucifer is exactly how I've always perceived the dark angel to be. The devil doesn't have horns or a tail. He is the face of man himself.

I am amazed. I am amazed how religious zealots seem to conveniently forget. Lucifer was the highest angel. An archangel thrown out of heaven. Because of his... arrogance and rebelliousness, not because he was a mad demon. Don't forget that.

I was reminded of how we all make certain decisions and try to justify our actions later. Usually with the precursor, it wasn't my fault. It was the work of Satan. No, no one ever says that. I never said that. I say that all the time. I am so sorry about last night.

It was not my fault. It was the work of Satan. That's your away message. on your AIM, right? Please do not press charges. I'll read these last two because I can't decide what you want to read. Frank, first of all,

this movie's not for the whole family. You think? 90% of this movie is tits. It's not for religious people either or people easily offended by nudity, language, or gore. Nor is it for people who have it out for Keanu Reeves. Being said,

The devil's advocate is a modern epic. After the film, your mind will be charged up in full of questions that you will mull over for days. Five stars. Central among those questions, why did I watch this? The final one here, Ben Piscal. This is a great film. Al Pacino, as always, steals the show.

Reeves turns in his usual average performance. Then in all caps, by the way, you Loonies, this is the truth about God. Pistar. Pascal, doing it up. Any final thoughts? It did just occur to me that around the same time as Al Pacino was playing the devil, in this movie Robert De Niro was playing the devil in Angel Heart? Oh.

10 years. Oh, that's 10 years. Wow, fucking IMDB back there. Hey, guy that knows the years where America's best actors played the devil and all the women showed their tits, relax. Lisa Bonnet, Topless, 1345. Hey, Mr. Skin, you can relax. There's a weird thing that the devil was personified in movies for a while, and I feel like that's not done anymore, so let's make a fucking devil movie. Yeah, devil movies.

Julie? I don't know if we have any devil character actors of that certain age. As far as my parting thoughts, I really like watching this movie. It's great. It's a bad movie, but it's really fun to watch.

And it was one of those things where I was saying in college it was always, I must have seen it like a million times. Julie and I, we were both at NYU at the same time, and for whatever reason, there were two movie channels on at all times. And this movie was played.

Every month there was like a new five movies that they would just sort of show and show and show. And this one was on, and I just remember always watching it to the end. This in Thinner, which is another, like... Can I... Can I pause it? Can I just...

Lori Kills her with the pie at the end? Can I just, like, say that... Sorry. Spoiler alert for Thinner? I was just about to go home and watch it. It's on my TiVo. What would you think about this? Make a devil's advocate to

same actors. Just another rotation of a thing. I guarantee that's what they wanted to do. Yeah, it starts in the bathroom. Or it's either good side. Or it's the story of, or it's the story of that next version. That's the thing of the next round. Yeah.

Yeah. I like that. Well, that's somebody. Prequel? Somebody pitches out of James Bond beginning, like a kind of in a beginning that kind of. A reboot? What? Oh, she wants to start back.

Yes, the prequel. She wants to go where the mom goes to New York. So it's the mom's religious. The mom's religious thing. to Mimi Rogers kind of. June, final thoughts? I loved it. This movie.

It's pretty great. I love this movie, too. I love this movie. It's amazing. It's a great, great movie. Well, thank you all for coming out. So that was us at the Bell House. Big thanks to Julie Klausner, whose podcast, How Is Your Week, is one of my favorites.

Definitely check it out. She's just written up in the New York Times for having a great podcast, and I agree. You can follow me always at Paul Schlaus, year on Twitter. June Diane at Miss June Diane and Julie Klausner at Julie Klausner. Jason's still not on Twitter. We'll never happen. We'll see you next time. Bye-bye.