How Did This Get Made? - The Dirt Bike Kid (Classic)

Episode Date: July 21, 2026

A flying magical dirt bike, a little league coach whose hot dog store is in danger, and a skeevy banker are just some of the highlights that Paul, June, and Jason discuss about the 1985 family comedy The Dirt Bike Kid. Plus, June's internet snafu leads to her admitting she's gotten manicures while recording this podcast. (Ep. #274 Originally Released 09/09/2021) • Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, FAQs, and more• Leave us a voicemail at speakpipe.com/hdtgm• Submit your Last Looks theme song here• Join our Discord at discord.gg/hdtgm• Buy merch at howdidthisgetmade.dashery.com/• Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of Trauma• Shop our new hat collection at podswag.com• Paul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheer• Paul’s YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheer• Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer• Subscribe The Dark Web w/ Paul & Rob Huebel: youtube.com/@enterthedarkweb• Listen to Unspooled with Paul & Amy Nicholson: unspooledpodcast.com• Listen to The Deep Dive with June & Jessica St. Clair: thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcast• Instagram: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & @junediane• Twitter: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & msjunediane  • Jason is not on social media• Episode transcripts available at how-did-this-get-made.simplecast.com/episodesGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Not since the big short have we seen such an indictment on the big banking system and their takeover of small town America. We saw the Dirt by Kid, so you know what that means. Now it's time for how did this campaign? We're going to have a good time, celebrate some failure, not just be a hater, because you know you wonder, how did this campaign? Let's want to win the mediocrity of subpar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question, how did this get made? Hello, people of Earth and welcome to How Did This Get Made? I am Tall John Shear.

And this week we are talking about the 1985 classic, The Dirt Bike Kid, starring Peter Billingsley. The tagline for the movie is, if you're crazy about magic, hot for action, ready for romance, and wild about winning, this movie is for you. It is about a magical dirt bike. Think Jack and the Beanstalk, but with a dirt bike. but also forget the whole second part of Jack and the Beanstalk and replace it with the Big Bank. Anyway, we'll get into it. So now, without any further ado, please meet my co-host, Mr. Jason Manzukas and Miss June, Diane Rayfield. How are you both?

I mean, I think it's wild that you think this is like Jack in the Beanstalk. Because to me, this was like, what if you had E.T. But E.T. was a bike. Oh, I saw it as a magical beans. I didn't see her. The thing about this bike is that it didn't have a performance. personality. It has a voice. It has the lights. It communicates with him through the computer. What do you mean it has a voice? It's like beeps and boops. It's got like it has like it goes

it emotes with sounds. And when it gets excited it read like rhr-r-r-r-r-r-r- like you know. Yeah. I never felt connected to the bike. The headlights, the headlights are the eyes. It keeps focusing. And when it's like being taken away, it like puts its head down like it's sad. It like they emote the bike like it's because. the other thing they do is they treat it like it's one of those movies where the kid has a dog and the kid has to be like, go on, get out of here, you dumb dog. I hate you. I don't even want you, you stupid dog. Get out of here. It's like that, but with a sentient dirt bike. And I would argue it has similarities to Herbie. Right? Am I remember? Oh, Herbie correctly. Yes. I think it's, I think Herbie is a good calm. Yeah. So maybe it's, but yes, I think that's, that's probably true to. I don't think that's a movie we ever did, did we? Well, we never did the originals, nor did we do the Lindsay Lohan, Michael Keaton, reboot of it that came out that Tom Lennon and Ben Grant actually wrote.

I've never seen the remake. Herbie fully loaded, I believe. Yes. That's right. But I do believe that this movie was extremely popular because I didn't recognize the title, but when I saw the poster of Peter Billingsley, the kid from a Christmas story, on that dirt bike flying over a city, I was like, oh, yeah, this is always in like the kid section of my local video store when I was a kid.

And I wanted this movie. I was shocked that I never saw it. Really? I was like, how have I never seen this? This is exactly my, like the age that I was. And I feel like if I had seen it, I would have been like, I want that dirt bike. Oh my God. I want to be, I want to take on the bad at Stuart Pank and at the bank.

I wanted, like, I feel like it would have been a movie as a kid. I would have been like, oh, this is so cool. I mean, there is nothing more 80s than Stuart. Pankin as a bad guy and dirt bikes. I mean, this movie, this movie is firmly used me. What is this movie called? I forgot.

What is it called? Wow. What minute are we at? What is it called? What is it called? What do you think it might be called? What is this movie called? Me and my derp,

I honestly was looking at the photo behind you and I was like, I was about to say me and my dirt bike. By the way, better title. Better title. Me. Life with my dirt bike. And with a musical number. I'm guessing.

I would love it if this movie had a musical number to me and my dirt bike where they danced together. Me and my dirt bike is it revving up the avenue. Anyway, here's the thing. Because the bike, what's crazy about it is like the bike called. What is this movie called, Jason? We're never going to tell you. I just would have preferred if throughout the episode, we just kept asking you now, what do you think it's called? Yeah, I made a mistake.

Did you hear me, June? Did you hear it? I did. The dirt bike kid. All right. The dirt bike kid. Me and my dirt bike, though, is unquestionably a better title. I got to say.

Sorry, Jason. What were you going to say? Oh, I just was about to say, like, one of the things that is, was shocking to me and I loved was, like the, the, like, in my comp of its E.T. Like, at the end of the movie, Elliot and E.T. are on the bike, and the bike flies across the moon. And because of E.T.'s magic, the bike is able to fly. In this movie, Peter Billingsley buys a dirt bike for $50, cleans it up in the garage, and at minute 13 is flying above Los Angeles. He's flying on the dirt bike at minute 13. I was like, where is this going?

So unimpressed with the flying. Wow, this is cool. This is crazy. It's beautiful. There's no. It's like he lives in a world. Well, that's so strange. It's like he lives in a world where you can.

fly on dirt bikes. Yes. Because that scene had me thinking like, oh, can you fly on dirt bikes in this world? Like, what is, what is this reality? Here's my main problem with the movie. And it's the only problem I have. The only. There's only one problem.

Otherwise, it's perfect. Otherwise, bulletproof. I wish the title was more memorable. But other than that, no, I thought from the beginning of the movie, we were setting up that this is a child who wants desperately to compete in a dirt bike race. Yes. And now all roads were going to lead to him being the guy who gets to win and beat these other guys in a dirt bike race. Right.

I agree. And then we like crazily take a left turn and start to understand he's a little league player. And the whole like heartbeat of the movie is about saving the, well, I'm going to get into the hot dog place in a second, but saving that restaurant, which they constantly refer to as a store, saving the restaurant. Because they sell hot dogs.

Yeah. It's the hot dog store. Well, it's a hot dog store. It's not a hot dog store. What do you not get about that? Yeah, I mean, where should we go for dinner? I'm so excited about the hot dog store. And look, if you ate in the restaurant,

you'd be eating in the restaurant, but they're just going there for the store part. They're buying the hot dogs. Because there's an arcade. There's an arcade there. It's a hot dog store and meets an restaurant. It's three things. Oh, it's also a food fight store.

It's also a food fight store where we go to have food. Do you imagine how much you would have to clean that place? I mean, the food fight they were having. Oh, okay. So that's my question about Mike. You'd have to shut down for days. You'd have to shut down for days. But do you think, Jason and Paul?

Paul, you can respond to this to you. But Mike is presented, the owner of the hot dog store, is presented as a shell of a man. Shattered. He's destroyed. Shattered. Yes. Like, life has been so cruel to this man. He looks like he's in the middle of a nervous breakdown.

He is a beaten down man. When he is coaching those kids, when he's coaching the kids at Little League and he's trying to give them a pep talk at the beginning of the game, he is like, he might as well be like, give up. It's over. Who cares? But he sees that with the entire movie. He's despondent. He's despondent. And then after I saw that food fight, though, I was like, oh, maybe this is a man who's

just been, like, shattered by these food fights happening every day. Like, he, because he must have to stay there to, like, four in the morning cleaning up. I have a question. How long did it take you? Because I'm going to say it took me a while. How long did it take you to realize he owned the hot dog store? Well, it took me a little while. Because I did not feel like it was evident at the beach.

beginning. It took me a while. When we first meet him. When we first meet him. When we first met him. Oh, I knew it a little bit earlier than that. There was a moment when he was actively playing the video game machine where I was like, this is odd. This man who coaches the little league team is off in the corner playing his own arcade. Well, I didn't know it was his own arcade machine. I just thought, here's a man playing an arcade machine in the corner by himself. He's depressed. And then when it became clear that he owned the place and he was in the corner playing the arcade machine. I was even more depressed.

Oh, wait. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait. You're having trouble hearing me, June? A little bit. Okay, we'll ratchet it up. Oh, boy. You know what now? It's saying internet unstable. I'm going back. You want to just plug into the internet, June? What do you mean plug in? Oh, that's why we install that line right under your desk. This is the first time hearing about it. Keep this in. Keep all this in. Remember when you shoot off, you shoot off, you shoot off the construction workers. Keep this in. And Devin, put, put the music, like, the, the, the, the, the xylophone music put underneath

this discussion. This is the first thing I'm hearing about a line. I have no idea. I was wired in. Would, would you like me to come down there and, no, just tell me if I plugged in the thing that goes to the monitor, is that, is, is it a lot of, it looks like a, it looks like a, it looks like a, oh, okay. Well, no, it looks like, it looks like a, it looks like a phone cord.

Yeah. It looks like a phone cable, not a. Cable, cable. And it should be plugged into that little gray box that goes into your computer. Don't look under the desk. Well, okay. I see it. It's not plugged in.

I'm going to go plug it in now. Okay. Plug it in. Wow. So you're telling me that thing. Wow. Okay. Do I have to do anything else?

Well, now you would shut off Wi-Fi. That's terrifying. Okay, here goes nothing. Oh, but. boy, here we go. Okay. See you on the other side. I'm still here.

All right, there you go. Wow. This is amazing. This is the content that people need in 2021. Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow. I've been, just so you both know, I've been switching from 5G back to regular G to back to 5.

This is all you need. This is the first, this is the, this is the, this is the, the simplest, most protected version of this now. This is what you would like to be connected on. You're not wireless. You're getting it straight from the wall. Holy shit. And when were you planning on telling me about this, Bob?

Well, remember we had, we had, we had, Jason. Well, first of all, I'm going to. You know what? You're right. My bad. I'm going to walk you back through a few conversations we had about it. The first being, uh, when we were doing our, our live video shows, we decided that we need to get one.

So we wouldn't lose connection. And then the, the gentleman. Gray and this team came over to the house and they needed to install it and you you shoot them away. Then they came back another time and then they installed it. And then when they came back at the second time. I like the image of people trying to come and hook up technology at the house and June with a broom like chasing them away. Listen, it's never a good time. It's never a good time.

Like they're mice that are loose in the house. Never a good time for people to come to the house that have been booked for weeks. They are often shoeed out of the house Asked to be wrap it up guys We got to wrap it up now This is supposed to be my retreat and my haven And I just can't take all of the goings on But this is something

Now that we're on this subject I actually do want to And I will own this next one I will completely own it Because I received a number of DMs And people were mentioning me on Twitter And I know that in the last episode there was a lot of terrible noise on my audio.

And there were a lot of questions around it, clicking and clacken, and people were very upset. And I was accused of getting a manicure during the episode. And I was. So I want to apologize to our listeners into their ears. And honestly, we'll put some on you, Paul. And David.

Wait, Evan. You can hear it? Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. I mean, Devin, I had to work. Oh, yeah,

Kevin, how long do you have to work to get that cleaned up? Oh, four hours, three, four hours? No, Devin. And people still, and people still could hear it? Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. This is another thing I will ask you to take some responsibility for Paul. Me? Yeah. No, me. Apparently it's my fault. All right.

I'll fall on my sword. Okay, so this is what I want you to take some responsibility for. I have done this before. And the listeners haven't. noticed, okay? So I've, listen, I'm trying to meet beauty standards that are honestly impossible to meet. And I'm set up to fail in the society that we live in. Yes, I have to get manis and petties and all manner of thing to simply exist as a woman in the world. And there's only so much time in the day. And so did I know I was going to be sitting here without doing anything else? But the podcast and just

talking? Yes, I did. I thought that was a perfect time to get my nails and toenails done. Now, I have gotten it done before and it hasn't been heard, which makes me think that whatever this was, Cody, whatever new microphone you got me, whatever new setup, that the sound is so much better. Are you blaming Cody for getting you good equipment? All I'm saying is when I had the old equipment, no one could tell. And now I've got all this fancy stuff. I got wired in and I got special things over the mic so my peas don't pop and this and that and the end. other thing and now people are picking up. I'm going to, I'm going to jump in here and just say, when I came downstairs, this is,

Cody's now blaming me. Cody says, my fault because I, June's apology left this at Paul and Cody's feet. Yeah. So, so basically my fault is that I gave her a better microphone because she was, I thought that she could use a better microphone. But I don't want this microphone to pick up everything that I'm doing. Just my voice. Now here's what I'll say.

Is that possible? Just my voice. Here's what I will say. When I came down to see. That's why I specifically requested one that would make my voice sound good but wouldn't pick up my farts. Anyway, time is money and that is why Mike is so upset in the dirt by kid. Because unlike Jason, I knew that he was the owner of the hot dog place, but I was sad to see him

so disengaged. seem to be a person to go behind the counter, to see him playing his own arcade machine in the middle of the day really made me depressed for this man. Oh, yeah. Well, that's what I feel like in that scene is where he says they're going to close the place down or whatever. And I was like, oh, wait, this is his place? Oh, they give an exposition dump in this moment that is massive.

And what makes it even more massive is that we weren't even clued into this being part of the plot. What's the matter, Mike? I've never seen you so steam. Don't you ask Mr. Hodgkin's personal assistant? A comprehensive analysis made by the bank's computer selected this site as the location for the new bank. Mr. Hodgkin's has given my one week to vacate

before they tear down the doghouse. But I'm sure Michael be able to... You're sure Michael what? Go on, Miss Clavel, what? But don't you understand? Don't you, in your computer, understand? I'm about to lose everything in my life, everything I've worked for? We've done things like that compute

And your comprehensive analysis, huh? Like for me, inside of this movie, again, we're only like maybe 15 minutes in And we've been introduced to, Because I like June thought this movie was going to be like a little bit like RAD or something like that The racing, because to be clear, At the very beginning of the movie,

Peter Billingsley rides his regular bike to a dirt bike rally race or whatever that's called. While on a mission. A motocross race. While on a mission to mom or from mom to buy $50 worth of groceries. With their last $50. She says this is the end of, this is our last $50. That's just so crazy.

I was a latchkey kid. You know, I was a kid that was home alone a lot. And I have to say that I don't think this mom was juggling being a single mom as good as she could be because she's really wanting him to do a lot of, a lot of very hard tasks. I mean, she's like, you should be cooking the bacon. I don't believe that a little kid should be in charge of a hot, greasy frying pan. I don't think the kid should be in charge of getting $50 worth of groceries. Like, he was doing some insurmountable tasks for his. his age in my opinion. How old is he? That's what exactly what I was going to ask.

Because I wrote down at one point, how old is this kid? And how old are all of these kids? Because I was going to say 12. Okay. 12. Okay. Yeah. I hope 12 because actually it was his little best friend who's obsessed with boobs and it's like very sexual. It made me so uncomfortable because I was like, oh, is he 10 or nine or 12? That's really different. Because that to me, that kid, I was like, when I wrote, when I watched that, I was like, oh, that's what. Right. The 80s trope of the young kid purve. Oh, it's so horrible. It's so horrible.

It's so is such a thing that is not done anymore, doesn't exist, but was so prevalent in these movies of this time, is that there was always a kid who was like always looking at boobs and butts. And he's like, Peter Billingsley. He's his best friend. And we know that he's a little bit more of a cad because he's wearing a Hawaiian shirt. And I feel like that was a big deal. Like even in Splash, John Candy, when we were introduced to him, I think as a kid, his game was that he would spill change on the ground and then terrible habits to teach children and pick up the change to look up women's skirts.

But like the same energy was like he doesn't care about the dirt bikes. He just cares about the boobs. Peter Bow is that kid's name. And he says this line, which I think best sums up who Boe is. He says after Peter Billingsley has told him all about like the motorbike, the dirt bike, rather, flying around and taking him on this big adventure, the kid goes, I don't believe in fairy tales. I believe in Playboy magazine. I was like, this kid is insane.

Yeah, I mean, I had a hard time that I had a hard time with this movie because of those reasons. Like, the sexualizing these young boys or making them like these lustful, you know, pubescent kids was just uncomfortable. And then the boss and, I mean, I don't know. I've actually had a moment where I was watching this where I was like, wow, I just consumed so much of rape culture as a child that I did not even, I wasn't even able to identify it. It was just, it just was what movies were. And I didn't question it. And it was just like, oh, that's, that's what we do to women. That's what we all.

That's it. I mean, he. And it's inside of like, that's what the villain does. Like the Stuart Pankin character is the villain. And he behaves reprehensible towards women. And that's the way it's kind of framed. But it is behavior that is like across the board insane. And not just like once, but is repeatedly reinforced.

And not only that, but there's like a predator. He's a predator, but not only that there's that moment that really, I wanted to cry when the mom is explaining to Jack why she's not taking the job. And she says like, oh, there were other reasons. And he goes, oh, that. It was such a bummer because it was like, oh, this child understands this. And this child doesn't question this. And this child has accepted that this is the way of the world. And there's nothing to be done about it because this is how we understand things to go.

And it was just, it really, this movie really depressed me. And I swear, I won't cause any more trouble. Oh, and mom, I'm really sorry about it costing you that job. Really, I am. It doesn't matter. I don't think I could have lasted very long with Mr. Hodgkins anyway. He wasn't interested in my abilities. What was he interested in?

Never mind. Oh, that. Yeah, that scene, this kid has been through a lot. And maybe I take it back that the mom, look, the mom is being hit on pretty hard by Mr. Hodgkins, who they say his name so many times in this movie. I love a movie where... Well, because it's also the name of the bank, too. So it is, yes.

It's constantly being said. We will actually do a little montage of all the Hodgians. Later on Averill cut together an amazing Hodgkin's clip. But, yeah, there's something so weird with this movie because it goes against everything that this movie should be and it keeps on taking detours. And at the same time, nothing is happening, but the movie is so long.

It's almost interminable to get through. It keeps setting things up that aren't real. So, like we were saying, at the beginning, Peter Billings that goes to a dirt bike race. And so you think, okay, he's going to get a dirt bike, which he immediately does. From a weird man, by the way. Can we just say about this weird man? We got to talk about this creep.

We got to talk about this creep at the dirt bike race, who is like the creep who owns the bike? What is his, I think he's like a god or Santa or? Like a BMX Santa. What I'd give for a bike like that? Oh, that bike is special. Special? Oh, yes. But it needs the right rider to make it special.

That boy doesn't deserve it. I'm going to have to buy it back. This old man comes up to him at the thing and says, well, that's a very special bike, but it takes a special ride or something like that. And he says it with this real creepy weight. And he's like a stone cold creep. Oh, he looks like, what's the gentleman who used to write all those poems,

Shell Silverstein. Like he looks like that mixed with that guy who used to do religious programming on like PBS a big white beard and just

he's very he's too kindly I didn't trust him because he was almost too kindly and he Yeah it was like classic grooming

like here have this special bite like it was really uncomfortable which is why I was glad he never recurred he never came back

until the end until the end when he gives it to another kid, but I mean, he never came back into Peter Billingsley's life. Oh, yeah. He wasn't to, like, Peter Billingsley isn't, like, doing his bidding or Peter Billingsley doesn't have to interact with him again. He's just transactionally there to make sure that the bike gets where it needs to go.

Because at one point, well, because at one point I thought, oh, the personality of the bike, because I thought the bike was pretty creepy and lacked a personality. That is that guy. Wait a second. You think that he is the bike? I don't think so. here's why. Because when the bike wants to communicate with Peter Billingsley, he has to use the computer. And if he was the old man, the old man would just show up and be like, I need to tell

you this. What if the old man did show up in his window and like, hey. That's what I mean. Like the old man would have said something. But instead, the bike uses the computer to talk to Peter Billingsley. And just uses like pictographs. Like the, like he accesses the computer to say computer, telephone, or he says like telephone lines, bank, telephone lines, bank. Like that's how. he's communicating with him. Yeah. It's crazy. So anyway, what I was going to say is, so at first it seems like it's going to be, oh, he's

going to get a bike and then he's going to enter the race and that's what the movie's going to be like, no. Then it's about Littal League. So it's about his scrappy team that is part of Mike's hot dog store. Bad news bears. Exactly. Verses the rich rich bank team. And so I was like, oh, that's going to be the movie.

The movie is going to be this rivalry between the scrappy bad news bears kids and that. Nope. That's not the movie either. Nope. It's really about this kid versus the bank. Because the bank is going to close down the hot dog store. And his commitment to it is that it's his baseball team's managers. Like, it's the place where they hang out after the games.

But it seems like this kid doesn't care that much about baseball. When his mother also has a job, like they never play another game. They play a baseball game at minute seven and they never play another game. Okay. And not only that, but like, why did the richy rich bank kids, the richy rich bank kids team also goes to the hot dog store for some after game fun. Wouldn't they, why do they want that bank there?

Wouldn't they also want to keep that fun hot dog store? Well, we find out through a tremendous amount of insanity that Stuart Pankin actually has no money and that he owns land. And when they're breaking... By the way, we rewound this movie... Two times? Well, we were...

Yes. I did too. You know what I kept doing? I kept stopping watching it because I was like, this is crazy. I don't know what's, I'm like, I'm like stressed out about this and I had to stop and come back like 20 minutes later.

We were watching it down. We were watching it on Pluto TV and they're about. Stuart Pankin, when the woman flees out of Stuart Pankin's window and he goes, that's the second one today. I'm going to have to put bars on these windows. And it's the afternoon. I was like,

what is this movie? No, I mean, Stuart Pankin uses a dog, He uses a dog to trap a woman in his study that he is trying to... I mean, by the way, I believe that he's doing it multiple times a day because when he is trying to woo Peter Billings' mom, he pulls out champagne, and the champagne doesn't have a pop. It kind of has a...

Like, almost like he shoved it back down. There was a lack of a pop, which means that he has already tried to give another woman champagne there. And by the way, why does this bank need such a large building? Like, why would it need, like, a... Not the Tony Tower. This gets at something else I want to talk about, which is the movie is 100% small town America.

Would you guys agree? Yes. Right? It feels like everybody knows each other's business. Even when he flies over the town, Los Angeles. There's no landmarks though. But he goes, oh my God, this is beautiful.

It's skyscrapers. He's flying over a city with skyscrapers in. Oh, you're right. And I'm like, where the fuck is? You're right. It's the same green screen they use. Supergirl, by the way. That's what it is.

They're flying over Los Angeles, but he lands in, like, Ohio or something like that. You know what I mean? Like, I was like, this doesn't add up at all. Like, I get it. So Stuart Pankin seems to be, like, building a big city bank, but the town is miniature. You know, the town feels so small. Again, why would you need, like, Stuart Pankan's bank seemed very, like. Mom and Pop.

The board of directors is four people. Right. The board of directors is four people. And the board of directors, and he seems to be the face of the, the bank in so many ways, so much so that, like, when they walk into the bank, it says, like, good rates, good service, good banker. And it's all these really terrible photos they clearly took with Stuart Pankin, like, during a costume fitting day.

Like, if you look around at every photo in this, it's like just a tight close-up of Stuart Pinkin's face. And they've put it in frames, on walls. It's all over the place. I love that Stuart Pankin also in the bank. Well, actually, a couple times also during the press conference, he acts as the the models that project what this building is going to look like that will take over Mike's hot dog shop are the thing itself.

Like he, when they get destroyed by the bike, because the bike, like the main action sequence. Like they're not women models. The, the, the sort of like, wait, were there women models? No, I just, for people who are not going to clearly watch this movie, I wanted to make sure that it was clear that like, yes, there are architectural models of the bank. Yes, like little dollhouses. The main sort of action sequences in this movie are the bike heading into indoor spaces.

Like the bike is constantly riding into the back, okay? And crashing into these model structures. And Struping is behaving as though the bank itself has been crashed into or that his project has been destroyed because these little sculptures have been destroyed. It is very strange. By the way, this reeked of ladybugs to me. Like, it felt the same way.

Yes. Like an obscene, like loyalty to a like a tabletop, you know, architecture of what the future will be. And it's, oh, no, no, no, my buildings, my buildings. And the motorcycle, I have to say, is very ginger because when it does even jump up on the table and use its front wheel to kind of crash, the monster. model, it doesn't really destroy it. It's just kind of like knocks it down like a house of cards. It's, you know. And to be clear, like, what's happening in the movie is that Peter Billingsley is on the dirt bike. This is a motorized, this is a motorcycle. This is a small motor.

Right. Yeah. This is not a BMX bike. Yeah. Just so everybody understands, this is not a bike you pedal. This has a motor. And this goes fast. Peter Billingsley doesn't. But what is the difference between, a motorbike and a motorcycle. I think it's just, my, my guess would be the size of the engine such that like, so like a moped or a motorbike is like, it has a smaller engine and can only go so fast and a motorcycle has a bigger engine, but that's just, that's just me guessing at what the difference could be. And Paul, the bike that you have downstairs, that's considered a what?

An electric bike. Okay, that's an electric bike. Yes. So that's like a new thing, though. Like, you know, like, the type of bike this is, it to me, seems like the junior version of what motocross people drive in those dirt. Well, because to me, when I was a kid, you know, I, like, I wanted a dirt bike when I was a kid, but I didn't want, I didn't understand a dirt. You mean like a motorized dirt bike? No, I like, I understood a dirt bike to be like a BMX bike.

Like, it felt like. That's how I understood it. Yes. No, well, that one, the one in the movie, yes, because that's, that is a motorcycle. The one that I wanted was like a B just was like a BMX bike that just had cooler wheels. And you're like, oh yeah, this is a good dirt bike. Not a, I believe that when we did rad, those were dirt bikes. Those were not motor bikes.

Those are like BMX bikes. So you're telling me what he has is actually not a dirt bike? I think it was probably at the time called a dirt bike or some. I think we're getting into like the weeds here of like nomenclature. Because I think like probably it was reference. Because at the time there was no electronic. There were bikes with motors and bikes that you pedal to move, right? Dirt bikes are definitely how they are portrayed here in this movie.

I think for me growing up, dirt bike felt like a pedal BMX bike. I agree. Like, for example, I would have described RAD as a dirt bike movie. Yes. You know, but I think they're, but I don't know, it's a nebulous definition. Here, I looked at up. Got it. A true BMX bike started it all back in the late 60s.

They were knockoffs of motorcross motorcycles. And they were designed for racing over. jumps and around berms in the dirt. So what we're talking about is that's a motorcross motorcycle. That's what he has. I think he just has a junior version of it. It doesn't go as fast, not as powerful perhaps. Yes.

Because a 13-year-old, and by the way, all of the kids in this town, even when later at the hot dog shop, the hot dog store rather, later, Bo is talking to two, girls their age, and they are also on motorized bikes. Everybody has it. Every child in this town is on a motorized gasoline-powered vehicle. And for 50 bucks. It must go 25 miles an hour. I mean, this kid bought this one. The reason why we're introduced to our herbie.

And not a helmet in sight except for on Peter Billings. Oh, and nobody's wearing helmets. Peter Billingsley has one of the funniest bits in this entire movie where he constantly can't take on or take off or put on his helmet because his glasses are on his face. So the glasses are constantly being pushed down and he's got to take them off and put them through the lens area or take them off. Like it's a very cumbersome. Yes, his helmet glasses business was pretty funny, I will say. It's pretty great.

And so the way we meet the dirt bike without a name, the Herbie with no name, is that he's being abused by a max. A bully. A bully. a dirt bike legend in this town who takes $50 and Peter Billingsley's pedal bike and the John Candy friend makes them a worse deal

he's like here's 50 well first of all Peter Billings he goes I'll give you 50 bucks for this bike and this kid's like are you crazy 50 bucks for a bike and then the kid the friend comes over and says how about you throw in your gear and your helmet and he gives you the other bike and the $50 to which Peter Billings says, but this is my last $50.

But two seconds ago, he had offered up the $50 to buy the bike. He's getting a good deal. I think he's getting a good deal. I mean, that dirt bike is worth more than $50. Let's be very clear. The bike is a sentient and full of magic, so he gets a very good deal. Here's my question about the bike. So do you think the bike was throwing Max off of itself because it was the wrong?

Okay, so it definitely was. Oh, yeah. What we find out, what we find out is that the bike, because the bike can drive itself. The bike, keep in mind, in the middle of the day throughout this movie, the bike with nobody on it, is driving through this town. Like the bike drives out of the bike shop after the mom sells it and goes and finds Peter Billingsley at the baseball field. That bike was unmanned. There was nobody on it. And it went all the way.

And nobody is like, hey. The bike goes to jail. This bike is arrested and goes to jail. Twice in this movie, police officers handcuff the bike like it's a perp. No one reacts to this bike being sentient in any way. I will still go on and just say that it never does Peter Billingsley say, oh, mom, my bike can fly. That seems to be like just yet another interesting thing.

Like, look, I get the sentient. I get controlling the internet and the computers. I'm kind of losing it at flying. Like it becomes a... The flying is crazy. Because I think what you're meant to assume is Peter Billingsley is doing nothing. He's just sitting on the bike. The bike does everything.

I don't think he knows how to drive the bike. I think the bike is doing all of the work. And he's just a passive passenger. Would you agree? Yes, I would agree. Now, here's my argument. The only reason why I think this bike would get this worked up is if the hot dog store was a gas station. because they were taking away the gas station.

Like, what vested interest does the bike have in saving the, yeah, and saving this? The bike seems to be, the bike seems to be somehow wanting to help Peter Billingsley's character. It's kind of like, isn't this kind of like E.T.? The bike wants to help Peter Billingsley's character with his journey, but the bike is too much and he has to keep kind of pulling it back from exposing itself or from going too far. But wouldn't his journey? be to get his mother a job so they could actually have some money in groceries? I don't know.

I agree, but he seems more interested in helping the hot dog store. That's what I'm saying. She does end up taking on. Well, it's a long way. We've got a long road to get there, but she does end up taking on the hot dog store as a client. Now, what her role is? I don't know because it's. She's unemployed.

Well, but she says, she has a line where she says, I'm so happy to take you on as a client. Yes. And I was trying to wrap my mind around like what. And then he sort of takes her in the store to see all of the changes she's implemented in the hot dog store. But what is her job? You know, at the beginning of the movie in the very first scene, Peter Billingsley's watching TV and she's on the phone with the bank because they're going to give her a job interview. And she says, yes, I can do this. I can do that.

I've done this before. I've done that before. So everything you need, I can do. And so I am assuming it's some sort of marketing, publicity, something in that realm that she was going to do with the bank, was willing to do at the bank if they had hired her, if Stuart Pinkin hadn't been such a creep. And now she's doing it for Mike's hot dog job. And Mike has as much money to hire her and keep her on payroll? That I don't know.

And you can't quite figure out. It seems all she's doing is like setting up the red ribbon, you know, to cut through. Yeah, but I mean, I listen, I'm glad she's employed because Paul's right. By Paul's definition, perhaps she'll be a better mother now. Geez. I mean, look, I just feel like, look, I was a latch kid kid. My mom never made me do all of these things. And also, I have to say.

You know, you did cook for yourself. I did at a certain point. You're right. But I feel like bacon was, you know, there were certain things that I was better at cooking. Well, I guess I cook. So your real problem was just the bacon. I just felt like she really. burdened him with this bacon in the morning.

Like, it's Saturday morning. This kid called him. He was not responding. She called him five million times if he was not responding. Well, I mean, look, this mother cut the cord to the remote control, not the TV, by the way, too. I mean, if you remember that kind of old school TV, the remote was connected. Oh, my God. Here you go with the cords again and what cord needs to be connected to what cord.

We get it. We get it. You know chords. June is shooing away this conversation. I just feel like. I just wanted, I don't know. I just wanted her. Like, I feel like the mom actually was very cool.

I don't have any issues with the mom. So you're saying that the mom is the real villain of this movie. Not Stuart Pankin, that the mom is the villain. Paul. I just feel, yeah. If you, if the kids did not look up or even acknowledge that you were screaming their names and asking for help over and over and over again, like, wouldn't you freak out? I wouldn't destroy my own TV because then how would I get to watch my stories? I mean, I think that what she was trying to teach him was like, yeah, young man, like get in the kitchen and learn how to cook and learn how to do all of these things.

Right, right. She says, don't you hear the smoke alarm? I mean, he's dreaming about, you know, he's dreaming about, well, again, this movie does the dirt bike race. He just saw the commercial for the dirt bike race, didn't he? Wasn't that it? Yeah. And, you know, maybe he needs a moment to daydream. You know, they always say the creatives need a moment to daydream. You know, maybe he just needs a moment, you know, if he wasn't, if he wasn't open to this, maybe he would never have gotten to the place to get the

bike, to get his mom a job working in advertising. So that he can start doing comedy and he can figure out how to start podcasting and really figure out how to get his life going. It's really interesting how much you identify with the Jack character. I'm just saying that Jack, you know, is a little bit misunderstood. I do also, I am... Listen, by the way, if he had continued to watch TV, like, we wouldn't have a movie. Yes. You know, if she kept that cord in the right spot.

Wow, yeah, you're right. If he continued to watch TV, he wouldn't have, if his mom hadn't made him do the grocery shopping, which you have criticized her for, Paul, that she's making him do, you, you said all, all of the grocery shopping. 50 bucks to say your last 50 bucks to give to a 14-year-old and expect them to go there. without a car. Oh, so now he's 14? Now he's 14?

Interesting. Interesting. So the mom is the villain, this poor kid, but if she hadn't forced him out of the house, he would never have gone. The creep would have never set him up with the bike. He would never have gotten it from the bully. And he would never have flown and saved the day and become the hero that he became. So maybe the mom is the hero?

Okay. All right. You've had, you know, you definitely, you definitely have opened my eyes to something, you know. You know, I do think that the mom was very chill when he's. did say, hey mom, I lost the last $50. She never got mad. The mom was pretty even keeled for the last $50 to be spent and her to have no reaction. And for her to also just be, I mean, I guess she's negligent.

She puts the walkman on, doesn't know that this boy has disappeared for the entire night, literally flying around being chased by the police. She's just bopping around on her walkman listening to like Simply Red or something. And, you know, I just feel like this mom should just know where her kids are. Wow. Wow. Wow. I can no longer stand for this. Like, she is doing the very best she can. She takes an interview at like 10 p.m. at night. Well, all the interviews in this movie are wild because it seems like he's watching TV. It's Saturday in the morning. He's eating potato chips. She's making bacon. She's on the phone doing a full interview with the bank on a Saturday morning for a advertising position. I mean, like, there's some timeline issues. They also do that thing where, like, things are happening in the middle of the day that would absolutely be happening at night.

It makes no sense. And she doesn't react. Like, her son literally runs into this office. I mean, yes, he saves her from an assault. But also, like, her son's on a motorcycle running through the bank in an office. And she never seems to be like, what is going on? She doesn't seem to be overly concerned, or is she? Well, it would be one thing if her son showed up at the bank.

because of an emergency. Right. Right. Okay. Now, that he shows up at the bank, inside the bank, inside Stuart Pankin's office, on the motorbike. And then the motorbike destroys the model, not Helena Christensen, but the model bank, the architectural model. Like, I would feel like the mom would be, would have every right to absolutely ground him and get rid of that bike. But not the case. Like, she's very, very forgiving of him, you know, in a generous way.

She seems very generous. I mean, look, because he is, he is, his behavior is insane. Well, I mean, that's what I'm saying, June. And thank you, Jason, for getting on my side here because again, I'm going to say that I'm not on your side. You are and I really, she's a saint. She's doing an amazing job. She cuts the cord on the TV. I think that's what you're mad at.

You know, and for not hearing. I think you're mad that she cut off his TV. That's it. That's it right there. Oh, I want. You're like, my ladies to be more like Mrs. Cobell. I want Mrs. I want more Miss Covels, uh, less.

Wait, do you mean Mrs. Clavel? Oh, Clavel, yes. I want more Mrs. Clavel. I just kept on saying Covel because of a local, uh, wine bar here. Which is the name of a wine bar in L.A. Yes. I want Mrs. Uh, more Mrs. Clavel.

Uh, I thought that I loved her relationship with Mike. I thought that there was something steamy there. I thought there was a love there. I thought that as an adult watching this movie. I'm like, I get this is a, this is a kid's movie, but it's got a deeper. Yeah. Yeah. A deeper emotional, uh, resists.

The movie definitely obeys kid logic. Like the movie is not interested in adult logic or adult normal adult storytelling. It is kid logic. Except Jason for the sort of like trying to understand the corporate holdings of the bank and what exactly. But that's actually, I would argue it's so confusing because kids don't understand it. I guess you're right. It is kid logic because they literally, it's at a certain point, it's just jargon that kids don't understand. But it's tough because it's like it's sort of what he's supposed to.

It's what Jack is supposed to nail him on. Like we know you're doing this. And Paul and I watched it scene three times and I was like doing what? What is he do? What is it? What's the what here? Okay. So my basic understanding is that Stuart Pankin.

It wasn't like a we work situation? I haven't seen the document. I don't know what the we work situation is. Basically, like, owning real estate and then renting it back to themselves or whatever they were doing. I think that's exactly what he's doing. Yes. So he was doing, he was positioning himself, even though he had the pocket watch and the giant mansion. He was not as rich as he appeared.

He only had $1,000 in the bank, but he owned property that he was going to have the bank buy, but he actually owned it. So he was going to make more money. But it even seemed like the money was low. Like the bank, the plot of land seemed like it was $5,000. 500,000. Oh, 500,000. Okay. So he was going to make a lot of money there. I don't know where his money was spent. I mean, clearly he's financing baseball teams. He has time to leave work to go to baseball games with a cane. Did he have a cane? I'll be honest. The thing that is the most upsetting for him in terms of being a good manager is when Bo, the pervy friend and Jack go to the computer lab, which is where, question mark? I don't know where they go. Library? They go, they go someplace. No, it's the middle of the night.

They go someplace in the middle of the night and they go to a computer lab and they hack the bank system. And when they do, they just wreak havoc. Like, Bo gives like the widow in town a million dollars. You know, they just start like. Very war games. Like very war games. Yes. Right.

Like, okay, now we can control everything. Yeah. But Stuart Pankin doesn't seem to be upset that there's a million dollars that's going to the wrong place. He's just focused on getting his own half a million dollars. I was like, I don't understand this at all. I don't know. Well, because it's FDIC insured. You know, I mean, now, June, I will just.

Are you doing a Hodgkin's Bank commercial right now? Is this episode sponsored by Hodgkin's Bank? I just think that Hodgkins has his head on straight. He supports the town. And you know, who needs those hot dogs when you can get, you know, I'm sure the bank would probably have like a nice little Starbucks in the front or something like that. The kids could eat something a little bit more healthy, like an egg and some fruit. No, not cool. Not cool, man.

Oh, so sorry. With me right here. So sorry. So sorry. Wow. Wow. Oh, so you want, oh, so you'd like there to be some sort of egg shop, an egg store. You want there to be an egg store in front of the bank?

Did you prefer the mom was like asked him to fry a bunch of eggs? Oh, man. Right in front of me? Oh, my God. No, now. You know what? You come down on me. I want to throw the, I want to throw the, I want to throw a dream back under the bus.

You're in the pocket of big egg. I am a little bit. Look, the lovely people who sponsor all of our egg programming here. I thank the Egg Federation for giving us a large amount of money. I have hives. I have to get my epipin. June, you, I want to just say, I don't want to call you out for this. Okay. You, I think, didn't like the way that Peter Billingsley played baseball either.

I mean, we did rewind that section of the movie quite a few times because you felt that Peter Billings. I was not to make anyone uncomfortable here, but I was an umpire for, wait. Wait, wait, what? Wait, wait a second. I've never, I was waiting for you to say I did play softball. Well, I did play softball. That's what I assumed, too. Yes, I did play softball. And I was also an umpire. And so I-a-gen-um-at-one. I was a regular amp. Like, when I was a teenager during the summer, I-umped. But for like younger kids, right? For like kids this age? Yeah, like kids this age who were playing softball. You were umping. I never knew that you were an umper.

Yeah. And I mean, I didn't, I think I did it one summer. And so how many games, June? Like, let's let's get like four. Well, I did make one very bad call that to be quite honest, like, kind of haunts me. Like, this is real talk. It really does. Like, I don't know what I was thinking. Let's get into it. What was it? I, it was sort of, I think it was the infield fly rule that I was always, I was always a bit fuzzy on. And I don't know, I really don't know what happened. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I. I. I don't. I. I I don't actually know what the infield fly rule is. I'm being serious. I believe, well, don't look it up yet, but I believe the infield fly rule was that if in softball it's hit in the infield and it's up and it's like it's going to sort of be lobbed into the infield that it's automatically called out. so you call the out before someone catches it. Okay, so would you like me to tell you what it is? Sure. That's my memory.

I'm being serious. I genuinely don't know this. I played Little League, but my father once told me he was the coach. He said, I knew that you weren't really interested because I put you at shortstop. And when I looked over, you were practicing moonwalking. That is pretty great. In the middle of a game. In the middle of a game, I was practicing my moonwalking.

Walking. Braithing. In the position that's like gets the most action. Yep. Nope. Just moonwalking. Yeah. Just out there trying to perfect the moonwalk.

Yeah. Yep. Okay. So this is the rule, June. And I think you're kind of right, which is the infield fly rule is a rule of baseball and softball that treats certain fly balls as though caught. Before that ball is caught, even if the infieler fails to catch it or drops it on purpose. The umpire's declaration of an infield fly means the batter.

is out and all force plays are removed regardless of whether the ball is caught. The rule exists solely to prevent the defense from executing a double play or triple play by deliberately failing to catch a ball that an infielder could catch with ordinary effort. Yes. So... Oh, even you explaining that? I'm a little confused. But okay, cool.

So it says a ball batted into the air subjects base runners to a dilemma. If the ball is caught, they must return to their original base. If not caught, the batter becomes a runner, and certain runners are forced to advance to the next base. Base runners study the field and advance only far enough. It's supposed to, like, equitably kind of even out. I understand it a little more now. So, okay. So I think I call, I either didn't call it or I called it when I shouldn't have.

And it was for, it was like a winning in, in the final moment. And my dad saw me do it. He was really upset and the coaches and parents were screaming at me. I mean, I had to like run to run to my car to get out of there. And I also knew it was wrong, but I didn't know. Wait, were you being chased by an angry mob? Pretty much. A Long Island mob.

I knew it was wrong, but I also didn't know how my umpire training did not. Did not prepare me. I guarantee you went to an afternoon of umpire training. Well, but I did two games. I did not prepare me for the scenario in which you make the wrong call. and then you want to back out of it. Undo it. But I don't know what that rule is called.

You can't undo a rule. I don't think you can. Well, let me ask you this, June. Let me tell you this. There are many things that you are not only good at, but amazing at. Well, thanks. But it seems to me that umpiring is not one of them because you adamantly and watched it four times on replay. accused Peter Billingsley of being out.

And you were upset with this. And you kept on rewind. You kept on going, rewind it. Rewind it. Rewind it. That's your empire training coming to play. And I said to it in slow mo. And I said to her, give me that instant replay.

And I said to her, I go, June, he's blocking the base. That's the issue. And you go, no, he got him out. I go, but he's blocking the base. So I think the problem was, and this is the same problem that Mrs. Clavel had, I think, which was perspective. I couldn't quite see where the base was. And so to me, it looked like he, like, I don't know why Peter Billingsley was trying

to slide from that far away. Like, if I were him, I would have either, it's just hard because I did think that catcher was just simply trying to catch the ball. But he was blocking the base. Well, here's what's interesting. Here's what's interesting. And I think the movie tells us something by making the cat. the bad kid Max.

Yes. The bully. So the bad guy is the catcher. So I think we're meant to believe and infer from that he would cheat, you know, or he would be in the wrong because he's he's on the bank guys team. Because here's how it would be clearer. If he, if they had set it up so that they were, he was directly, the catcher was directly behind the base, caught the ball.

And then instead of jumping on the base, like jumped on. on what's his face as he was sliding in. But that's not the way they shot. It's always genuinely unclear. Well, because it's not, the bases aren't loaded. So he has to hit Peter Billingsley. He can't just touch home base and get him out.

You're right. I can't believe I forgot that as an empire. Well, by the way, I did look up here that umpires can reverse calls, June, by the way. I wish I had known that. I'm telling you there's certain. Do you want to make some calls right now?

Honestly, I'm glad to stay at in a public forum because there's certain things in life where you just like regret things you did, you know? And I have a list of things that I really regret having done. And this... Any that involved me? No. Well, yeah, of course. Just things that... Yes, absolutely. Not things, like, things that I've done. Yeah, absolutely. I have tons of regrets. But that moment was one of them because I knew it was wrong and I didn't know what to do, so I ran away.

But you're right, Jason. So he had to tag him. But it's... So... But you're right in the sense. that the argument that they're making in the movie that that that sad coach mike who owns mike's hot dog store is arguing is that the kid was blocking the base is that max the bully was right right and by the way we also are told that this is a this kid is as bad as steward pangin because stewer pangin goes ooh you could become a bank manager one day like you know he likes he likes that kind of moxie on a kid can we just maybe talk about a little bit more about um i mean the end is just so long that bike ride is so stupid

but I do want to talk about the relationship because we did talk about Mike and how beaten down Mike is and I think that his arc, as far as anyone's arc in this movie, is the most well thought out, it's the most beautifully told. It is really truly a masterful, you know, story of love and between him and Mrs. Clavel. And I think that, like, first of all, I love that they put in 1985 a woman in a position of power

by being a little league coach, you know, and she was kind of in a world where I think that she didn't get as much respect, and then she gets a lot of respect and she helps him find respect for himself. I mean, I'm all in on this relationship. Wait, can I say one thing about her position? Because I was excited, listen, as a female umpire,

I'm always thrilled to see women in sports. But I was confused when, what's the bank guy's name again? Stuart Pinkin. When Stuart Pinkin is talking to his board of trustees and they're taking a vote to figure out if women can play in their softball league. Is he referring to the kids' little league? If he is. Or is there also an adult league?

No, I think it's the kids. And he calls the little kids bimbos, the little girls bimbo? He says, bye, bye, bye bimboes. He says, bye, bye bimboes. Bye, bye bimboes. About like either 12-year-old or 10-year-old girls? Well, that Jack's team had girls on it. I noticed that Jack's team.

That's all I did. Yes, at least one. I saw at least one girl. So, so yes, there are girls on the little league team. But I was also unclear as to whether they were talking about the little league team or the, like, an adult league. But I assume it's the little league team. Yeah. And that they're keeping the Hodgkin's bank team, you know, girl free.

Interesting that they would keep all the players male, but then have a woman. coach them. Well, it seems as though Mr. Hodgkins, Stuart Pankin, seems to think that Miss Clavel is like doing his bidding. You know, that's why when the umpire makes the bad call and Mike is like, Miss Clavel, come on, you saw. She says, I didn't have a good viewpoint. Or I did. She kind of, she kind of knows that Stuart Pankin needs them to win. She knows that her bread is buttered.

A little bit. So I feel like she's a little bit at the beginning of the movie, but she feels really bad because she's trying to warn Mike that they're going to foreclose on him. And he keeps putting her off. You know, he keeps being like, timely later, let's talk about it later or whatever. And she keeps trying to tell him of this thing she heard at the bank, which turns out to be that his hot dog store is going to be closed, which means who knows where people are going to have their,

but we're going to buy their hot dogs and have food fights. Their post game, yeah, their post-game hot dogs. Oh, God. I mean, there's so much. It's overwhelming. I mean, like Stuart Pankin on the back of the bike, the pie fight, the bulldozer versus dirt bike fight. I mean, by the way, there's a lot of Supergirl stuff in this movie. There's bulldozers.

There's flying around the city. There's a lot. I've completely forgotten about Supergirl. I mean, I know it was like two months ago. Yeah, I did too, but I feel like there are similarities. I'm just going to go out and say it. I think you're right. I do so want to play a little bit of Mike, just Mike kind of regaining his confidence here.

What about the spirit you put in those kids? You never let them. them quit. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I am quitting, aren't I? What? When the tough...

No, no, when the going gets tough, the... The tough get going. It's not over till it's over. I mean, it's not the size of the dog in the fight. It's the size of the fight in the dog. This fight isn't over yet. I gotta believe what I've been telling these kids all along. Now you're talking.

It also reminded me of maximum overdrive. Oh, you're right. It has some elements. There's so many, so many vehicles without drivers, you know? Yes. I want to get into this. It's bold to make, I mean, this Herbie, I believe, is the spirit of a race car driver inside a car. I'm pretty sure.

I'm going to look at it right now. Because I don't think it's just a sentient car. I thought like somebody dies. And then. Okay. So that's a great point, which is. is we never learn the story of the bike. Yeah.

Nor the dad. At one point, did you think the dad was the bike? Oh, like Jack Frost. Yeah. Oh, I never, oh, that's interesting. Oh, that's cool. No, I didn't, that would have been interesting. But then that's proven not true by the fact that the bike then responds to, at the end of the movie,

a new kid gets the bike. And the bike takes him on it, presumably takes him on an adventure. But what I felt like was missing was like there's no curiosity. Jack or anybody else seems to have no curiosity as to why the bike is alive. Why the bike is doing this? Where is what is the story of this bike? And the old man, the creepy old man seems to be the only keeper of this knowledge. And he just doesn't share it.

Like I kept thinking, oh, at the end of the movie, that old man's going to show up again. And he's going to tell us the story of the bike. Right. You know, and we'll get some closure on this. But instead, the bike just seems to be like a magic talisman that goes from kid to kid, like turning them into a hero, I guess. I don't know. Yeah, it seems like Herbie is not the, he's just a sentient car.

It's just a car that, you know, it doesn't seem like we know why. So, yeah, so I guess this follows the same idea. I mean, there is a Herbie, the Love Bug movie where he gets possessed, but that seems different by Jewel Thiever. Oh my God. But here's a little bit of... There are bikers in this movie. There are real motorcycle bikers.

A biker become a banker. A biker to banker. Yeah, one of whom says about the kid, he says, I'm going to like this kid on fire. Oh, God. Can you imagine being a kid watching this movie and being like, wait, adults can like kids on fire? By the way, that's an... Is that an option? By the way, that's another reason why it's similar to Supergirl, because those truckers kind of try to beat up Supergirl.

And these bikers have no problem Like beating the shit out of a 14 year old kid I sure don't I will say And these are like 40 year old men Oh yeah On motorcycle Wasn't it's named Mr. Slimy or something like that

I can't remember Yeah I did like when they Well I mean there's a lot of destruction in this Town especially when the cop With the side car I mean it's cop by a side car That cop was funny I will say

That cop was funny I also thought so too I also thought the, like, 500-year-old security guard was funny. Who clearly was 80-yard by somebody in the booth doing an old man voice. Hey, you kids, get out of here. Clearly was not his voice, but it was like the person who was sound mixing was like, I can do it. I got it. Don't worry about it.

Give him two lines. All of the police stuff was like pure like Simpsons, Chief Wiggum level police at work. It was really making me laugh. It is so good. All right. Well, obviously, we had an opinion about this movie, but they're, people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions. There are Shenzhen. Tell me what is the message subjective?

opinion. Nate Kylie did some good work this week. There are 253 reviews of the Dirt Bike Kid. And the average, 81% are five-star reviews. 81% love this movie. But you're going to see a little bit of a trend coming up here to the first one kind of makes sense. From Trevor C. Trevor C writes, good movie as a kid, still okay, and even better after a joint. If you were a boy that wanted a dirt bike and watch us in the 80s, grab a fat joint and a 40-olde and enjoy five stars.

That's what we got there. Wow. Now, this person is like, I love that this whole review is like, Get fucked up and watch this movie. I mean, there's definitely a way to watch it. Now, this one, as Nate points out, is one of the most chilling reviews I've ever seen. It says, bought this for a coworker, and she has watched it multiple times, and so have her kids. Five stars.

It feels like that, and a Pankin level, like, forcing a movie onto somebody. It doesn't feel like that person wanted to watch this movie. Although, I'll be honest, if I was working someplace and somebody as a. Secret Santa gift gave me the dirt by kid, I might be like, oh, thanks. I'll check it out. I'll get it. I'll get into it. Now, here's where it gets pretty interesting.

This is from N. Zane. The title is Fun Movie for Kids. Guess you had to be there. And the review is, while this movie is not a big kids film, low budget, and came out without a lot of fanfare when it hit theaters, I worked on the film. And my son was the scorekeeper. So what am I going to say? I waited for this film to come out on DVD and it went straight to Blu-ray.

I have a dusty copy of the original video, which my son had a hard time finding. It was fun to see again. Five stars. And then followed immediately by Candy Overby, who writes, I had a little part in this movie, so I bought it for my kids. Five stars. That's also cute. People are getting in here giving it five stars because they're in it, simply because they're in it.

And we should do that more. And then finally, Jared B. writes, love this movie. better than Herbie, five stars. So there we go. Better than Herbie. Putting Herbie on blast. If you were in this movie, you gave it five stars. And if you hate Herbie, you're giving it five stars.

Yeah, like I said, the budget was $800,000. Totally. But the director's... What year? 85. And the director says they sold 100,000 VHS copies of it, which I believe to be true only because I recognize this DVD

And it was written by David Brandies Who wrote on Fragal Rock And also It was a story by the person Who wrote chopping mall Julie Corman Oh wow

Yeah so Was this Was this before or after Christmas story? I meant to look down I have a feeling It was after Christmas story Because I think it was

Because I was wondering It was two years after Says Molly in the chat Okay thank you Molly Okay that's interesting So this is because Peter Billingsley I feel like is like that movie

I remember being like genuine, giant popular. That was like a real big movie. So this is the next one of the next things. That's fascinating. This is like this is like his

his you know, he's like I've got to take that Christmas story success and bring it to a different market the BMX market. All right. Final thoughts. June, Jason,

do you recommend this movie? You know? No. Go ahead. No. That's, I mean, No, that's it.

No is a complete sentence. No is the answer. You know, I would say yes, I think. I mean, I would say yes, yes, but fast forward. You know, like, there's stuff in here that's like you don't need to watch, but, like, there's some genuine silliness in this. There is some, like, real, and maybe it's just because it really was hitting 80s nostalgia for me in a way that I was enjoying and it had, like, that, like, a lot of silliness in it

that I was on board for, but it's by no means, like, a great movie, but I would say, yes, just to be like, just to get an eyeball on what we're talking about. I would say, like, throw it on and, you know, scrub through and you might, there's some stuff in here. I am firmly in the middle of both of you, because I found it to be, like, if someone out there did, like, a super cut of this movie, it would be really fun to watch. What I found to be interminable about this film was we watched it on Pluto TV, so we had to it through commercials. Oh, God.

And it made the movie so much longer to watch. No way. No way. No way. No way. I rented it on Amazon. Oh, you see, I should have just done that. I don't know why.

It was so jarring to see those commercials. Oh, we did not like it. It was also the ball of the break I needed. Okay. So you needed to do it. Yeah. I found myself really checked out at the end. Like the race scene went on for far too long.

But I did like some elements of it. And look, Stuart Panquin is, playing a creep, and we have not revealed him to be a creep in real life. And I do feel like he really cornered the market on embracing and playing these roles very well. Like, there is something about Stuart Pankan that I always will love. Like, I feel like I used to watch not necessarily the news as a kid so much. And, uh, yeah. So even though we keep on calling him a creep, uh, I think he's really, he's, uh, chewing the scenery in the best way. Yes. I'm just talking about Hugh, even though we're using his name. We're talking about the character, Mr. Hodgkin. But I just want to say, like, I just want to call out

that I do think that he is effectively, like, making the most out of what he's got here. Like, what truly... Oh, I think he's doing a great performance. I think I think the mom is great. I think there's a lot of really funny performances. Yeah, I like them all. It's, you know...

But it's nuts. This movie is nuts. So for June, it's definitely a pass because of the upping, but also a pass because of the plotting. That's right. Yeah. I just had a hard. time with this one. It didn't hit correctly. All right. So I think that if you can find a super

cut, I think then Jason and I are probably on the same page there. All right. So is there anything that you want to plug? Talk about. Tell anybody to listen to, check out. If you, I have a small part in Steve Conrad's Stop Motion Animation Show on AMC called Ultra City Smiths. It's fantastic and really interesting if you liked Patriot or any of his other stuff. Also, in a couple of weeks, I am in, I'm a voice in the new Star Trek animated series Prodigy that's going to be coming on pretty soon.

So it's like, it's super adventure Star Trek kind of awesome. With Kate Mulgrew, right? Kate Mulgrew is that the one? Yes. Cape. It's Captain Janeway is the, it's her character and then it is a group of teenage like adventurers and she is kind of helping

she is like they're the person who's sending them on adventures and it's fucking gorgeous and awesome. I'm very excited. I'll continue the Star Trek plugs and say that if you're not watching Lower Decks right yet, do it. It's on Paramount Plus. I am in it. An amazing cast of people, including Tani Newsom and Eugene Cordero and Jerry O'Connell and Jack Quaid from the boys.

It's a super funny Star Trek that is also very true to Star Trek Next Generation, created by Mike McMahon, who is the co-creator of Solar Opposites and was running Rick and Morty for a little bit of time. So it's a very funny, cool show that is right now on Paramount Plus. So if you have a chance to get Paramount Plus, get Paramount Plus, check it out. And if you like this show, our show, make sure you head on over to our Discord and get the conversation going and continue to keep the conversation going. It's Discord.g.g.m. Then there's brand new shirts in our store. We got Ratcheted Out shirts. We got, we have a lot of shirts.

Where does the butt start? Because of that mannequin re-release. So check out our story. Teapublic.com slash stores slash HDTGM. A big thank you to other person who picks all of our movies. Every single week, that's Averill Halley, our movie producer picker.

And she's got a great YouTube channel called Movie Bitches, where you can hear little snippets of that on our mini-episode. But a giant thank you to our super producer, Cody Fisher, the brother of Kobe Bryant, our sound engineer, Devin Bryant, of course, our MVP, Molly Reynolds, and the person who gives us all the research, everything that we need to know for every one of these episodes, goes through Amazon reviews and a ridiculous degree. I'm talking about Nate Kylie.

Nate, thank you so much for doing all your hard work. And the person whose last stop, everything goes through him, July D.S. Thank you, July for everything that you do. Thank you, everybody at Earwolf, and all the people who design and make all this amazing art like the ghost of Craig T. Nelson and Kyle Waldron. We love your art, and you can follow all of our art on our Facebook and how did this get made pages on Instagram. We are in all the social media places. So follow us, listen to us, rate, subscribe, all the things you need to do.

We will see you next week on a mini episode. Bye for now. It looks like Hodgkin's Bank is about to cash in. Mr. Hodgkins. Mr. Hodgkins. Mr. Hodgkins. Mr. Hodgkins. My little Hodgkins.

The Hodgkins. The Hodgkins. The Hodgkins. Mr. Hachkins. Mr. Hachkins and Mr. Hachkins. Mr. Hockens. Mr. Hockens. Mr. Hockens.

Mr. Hockens. Mr. Hockens. Mr. Hachkins. Hotskins. Hotskins. Mr. Hotskins. Mr. Hachkins. Mr. Hachkins.

Mr. Hachkins. Hachkins. Mr. Hachkins. Mr. Hachkins. Mr. Hachkins. Mr. Hachkins. Mr. Hachkins. Mr. Hachkins.

Hachkins. Hotskins. Hotskins. Hachkins. Hotskins. Hachkins. Oh, Mr. Hachkins. Hachkins. Hachkins.

Hachkins. Hachkins. Hachkins. Hachkins. Hodgkins. What Hodgkins wants. Hodgkins gets. Mr. Hodgkins. Mr. Hodgkin. Mr. Hodgkin. Mr. Hodgkin. Hotskins. Hotskins. Hotskins. Hotskins. Hotskins. Mr. Haskin. Mr. Haskins. Mr. Hodgekins. Mr. Hodgekins.