How Did This Get Made? - The Great Wall LIVE! (HDTGM Matinee)

Episode Date: September 9, 2025

Paul, June, and Jason break down the 2016 alien flick The Great Wall starring Matt Damon, Pedro Pascal, Willem Dafoe, and Tian Jing. LIVE from the Chevalier Theatre in Boston, they cover the space dogs, Matt Damon's many accents, all the beards and rattails, magnets, and so much more. (Originally Released 03/26/2020) • Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, FAQs, and more• Have a Last Looks correction or omission? Call 619-PAULASK to leave us a voicemail!• Submit your Last Looks theme song to us here• Join the HDTGM conversation on Discord: discord.gg/hdtgm• Buy merch at howdidthisgetmade.dashery.com/• Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of Trauma• Shop our new hat collection at podswag.com• Paul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheer• Paul’s YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheer• Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer• Subscribe to Enter The Dark Web w/ Paul & Rob Huebel: youtube.com/@enterthedarkweb• Listen to Unspooled with Paul & Amy Nicholson: unspooledpodcast.com• Listen to The Deep Dive with June & Jessica St. Clair: thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcast• Instagram: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & @junediane• Twitter: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & msjunediane  • Jason is not on social media• Episode transcripts available at how-did-this-get-made.simplecast.com/episodesGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm

When the fate of the world is at hand, you don't need an army, you just need a dude from Boston to fix things wicked fucking quick. We saw the Great Wall, so you know what that means. Hello everybody Now it's time for What up church? A G, D, T, G. Hi, I'm happy

Hey everybody Now it's time for Hello people of Earth And hello people of Boston here in Medford, just a jaunt, a trafficy jaunt, away from Boston to talk about a local Massachusetts legend. That's right.

Matt Damon. Matt Damon in a movie about the Great Wall of China and some fucking weird-ass aliens, question mark, that are attacking the wall in an attempt to take over the world because of

greed? That's all you need to know. It's a period piece. I'll tell you one other fact that might answer a lot of your questions. It's the most expensive movie China has ever produced. $135

million budget. And we'll get into how that all worked out in a little bit. Ladies and gentlemen, to talk about this movie, I need the expertise of my two amazing co-hosts. Please welcome to the stage, Mr. Jason Manzoukis. What's up, Jukes? How are we doing, Boston? How are we feeling?

Late show, balcony, what's up? Ooh, late show is rowdy. Jason, the Great Wall of China is the location. The movie is just simply the Great Wall. Thoughts? I watched this movie today on the train from New York to Boston. The way it's meant to be watched. And when I saw that it was, as long as it was, I almost started crying.

For those of you who were at the earlier show, you might have heard this, we're in the middle of a tour, and I have lost my mind. I don't understand time, place, anything. What I definitely didn't want was to watch two hours of this nonsense. This was... I'm going to just straight up say, we cannot do subtitled movies on this podcast anymore.

I have to be able to look away. You can't look away when you're reading it, and I was like, fuck. God damn it. Jason, would it surprise you if I told you this movie is not two hours? How long is it? Hour 40?

No. Yep. And I would say easily... Easily nine minutes of that are credits. So it's an hour 30 film. It's okay. T to B. It's no good.

It felt very long. I blame Matt Damon. How do you like them apples? Question mark? Yeah, no, it was, it was a movie. I will say this. I will say this. There were, you know, you mentioned,

how much it cost earlier. It is huge in scale and scope. And there is a lot of very impressive practical effects and set pieces that are kind of cool that I enjoyed. But the movie for me, space dogs eating up

the Great Wall of China in the past. It is an opportunity this is what this movie is about. Beards and accents. Boom. And they both change a lot. Everybody gets both in different versions.

I would also say that this movie rings to the sense of like a parent coaching a kid on how to be precocious. It's like, yeah, you're hitting all the right things, but it doesn't feel authentic in any way. It feels planned. I know it's a very... hard, like, metaphor to put together. But that's what it feels like to me.

It feels like a parent off to the side of the stage during, like, a high school production of Oliver going, more, more, may I have more, please? Like, you know, it's like the kid's not bringing his own instincts to it. It's the late show. I would love. And that's as clear as I'm going to get for the rest of the night. This is going to be a weird one.

I can feel it already. I can feel it already. If you told me right now, it was 2 o'clock in the afternoon on Sunday, I'd be like, sure, why not? Don't know. Don't know, won't know. If you told me this,

if you told me we were no longer in Boston, but were in fact on the Great Wall of China, I would believe you. It's over, baby. I'm done so. We are part of the annual China podcast festival, Mark Maren just played before us.

We are now here. Every mile on the wall is a different podcast. And oddly, every podcast in existence fits. So it's a real fun thing. Ladies and gentlemen, there was one person I truly felt

bad subjecting this film to, and she is my other co-host. Please welcome the lovely talented June Diane Rayfio. Welcome. Hello, Paul. How are you? I'm good. How are you?

I'm okay. Period. I'm going to take a wild stab. We're just doing vocalized punctuation now. I'm going to take a wild stab here and say that, you know, you kind of like this movie. There were a lot of things I enjoyed about this movie.

Number one, Matt Damon. Number, actually, also number one, Pedro Pusco. Great. He was great. He was great. He is great. I love him in Narcos. I think he's amazing.

Did not recognize him at. Pedro Pascal until the beard came off. I literally... He's that good. I was like, whoa. Pedro Pascal. We really... Really?

Yeah, I did not know what I was in. I was so excited because I was like, all right, cool. The Red Vipers in here. I like that. I'll take that. Another movie that has a lot of Game of Thrones imagery, a lot of Game of Thrones story elements, a lot of Game of Thrones actor.

I don't know. That's it. I told you. going to be a weird one. Oh, this is going to be really weird. I can feel it as well. Willem Defoe's in this movie? You know it's weird

when he's creeping around. When we first... When we first meet Willem Defoe... He's like... When we first meet Willem DeFoe... When we first meet Willem DeFoe, it's as if... if he was on set

and the director was like, just get a shot of him real quick. We'll put him in the movie. Because if he was just visiting set? Yeah, because he just was peeking around a corner like a coquettish cat. No, that's absolutely right. He also didn't look totally in costume. No. Everybody, at that time

everybody had a ton of hair except for him. Like, he just seemed like he had walked from Crafty out and just peeked in. If you told me that he was the star of a time travel movie where contemporary Willem

Defoe is transported to this time? By the way, Willem Defoe is a timeless actor because you could really plop him in here. He didn't feel of the now. He never feels of the now or of the past. He just feels of the right.

Oh, you can plop him anywhere. Plop him here, plop him there. Plop him anywhere. We did a movie that he was in recently and someone, was it you that revealed that some director said that he had a confusingly large penis that

he showed his penis in a movie in body of evidence he showed his penis in a movie and they had to use a penis double because his penis was confusingly large it was actually confounded the mind

which to look at it caused visual dissonance it was actually for I believe the passion of the Christ which makes it even weirder because you're like, Jesus had that big dick energy

B-D-E-Christ Well, the other crazy thing about his character is I couldn't tell if he was a prisoner or not. He seemed to walk about very freely. He was not a prisoner, but I don't think he was they were not letting him leave.

The only reason... Isn't that the definition of prisoner? No. It's sort of like, he wanted to be there. It was more like Stockholm syndrome. He, I feel like he's only there to free them at that point in the movie where Matt Damon and Pedro Pascal are seemingly for no reason brought up to the command center of the Great Wall. Like, remember those guys that were trying to steal or whatever? Bring them up and let them watch the fight. Not even, like, they were like, we found these two guys outside the wall.

Right. Should we let him talk to the most important people we got? Yeah. They're foreigners. Let's let him talk to whoever they want to talk to. And we wasted most of our arrows, oddly circling them with arrows. There was about a hundred of us,

and we all shot a tremendous amount of arrows. I wish they had been killed instantly credits. This is how the most of them. The movie starts. I just want to read you the title. It says, The Great Wall has stood for centuries as one of mankind's most enduring wonders. It spans over 5,500 miles, and it took more than 1,700 years to build. It's protected from many dangers. Some are known. Some are a legend. This is one of those legends. It's weird because, are you telling you? telling me it's false, right at the, like, don't believe this movie? Wait, do you think this is based on truth? If you didn't put it there,

I don't know that much about Chinese history. I'm like, maybe that, maybe that maybe. Are you one of the people that thinks Game of Thrones takes place in the 1300s? It does. Before, after Panjia, right? Even when I saw those words, saw the word legend, even after I saw Matt Damon and Pedro Pascal,

hold the arm of that creach. I was still so stunned to see the first one flying out like that in this movie. When you see them, you're like... Because the movie is so

period that you're like, what? What the fuck? That's what... I did not know that this movie had that kind of an element in it. I was like... I did. How did you know? I knew that there was space dogs in it. I was like, first of all, I was happy that the dogs from Ghostbusters got some work.

They haven't worked for quite some time. But it jaw-dropping to me. I was shocked. When the Tao Tis showed up, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I couldn't believe, in my mind, when I saw... Please say Tow-Ties again. You said it so casually as if Like it was such a...

When the Tao Ties showed up Hey, because I thought we were about to watch a movie of like different tribal groups fighting each other and having to fight over land or some such The Tau Tau Tys were a shockeroo. Tau Tys were as shocking as the army

that was trained in bungee jumping. Okay. Okay, we got 60 years to train. What do we got? Okay, so they jump in this hoop, and then a bunch of guys lower, but we whip it up real quick and we try to stab them in the head.

We do have arrows, and we do have flaming balls. We do have, like... We have gunpowder. Straight away, start using the black powder. Straight away, just boom, here we go. You know what to do? Landmines. You know they're coming out.

you, put landmines of gunpowder out surrounding. They're going to come in, kabum, blow the whole thing up. Cirque de Soleil. First thing you're... Give me that Cirque de Soleil. And also, let's put all the ladies out first. First line of defense of all the women.

I liked that women were at the forefront of protecting the wall. They were sacrificial lambs. No, they were kicking ass. Commander Lee was a total badass. She was incredible. But I was trying to. by how willing they were to sacrifice all the women. You think they should have been taken off the battlefield,

put like in the kitchen? No, but Jason, do you know how many women died immediately? I mean, you saw those bloody rings. Like, another one died. It really was, like you do. You see a collection of bloody rings. It was brutal. That shot was brutal.

Yeah, yeah. Highly ineffective fighting. Again, it's when you have too much time on your hands. Like, if you said, space dogs, they're coming. No one would say, let's kind of invent a bizarre version of the bungee and then give them spears.

You'd be like, let's just fucking shoot arrows at them. Here, they had too much time. They're like, well, hear me out. Bungi cords. Go on. Go on. I liked, that's part of the stuff I did like. I liked all the weird Oh, yeah. Like, I liked

the bungee jumping thing. I liked when they opened up the walls and scissors. came out. I loved that. I was like, fuck yes. I want all of this. Innovation. I love the marble. The flaming marbles they were shooting out like a big pinball machine. By the way, that would be a great pinball machine.

The Great Wall pinball machine, flaming balls flying around, weird accents come out. You go it. You go it. You go it. Matt Damon's accent. Where is he from? Well, where is William from?

wanted to do this with you both because I feel like his accent changes about five times in this one scene so why don't we just play it? America does not he doesn't have an American accent

because Europeans haven't colonized the land yet. I feel like trying to do some sort of Irish accent. That's what I wrote that. Is he Irish? But I thought this is what I thought. He is acting like an actor who's not comfortable in his accent so he's quiet and clipped

yes no accent like it's like it's like everything he says in the beginning it's like he's trying to hide I am doing an accent but you can't tell like it's very weird it has a lilt to it

that feels to me that it's meant to be Irish but almost as if I guess maybe it's true he was like I feel like he would be like well he was He's born in Ireland, but he's a mercenary, so he's been all over the world, so he's lost that accent. I mean, look, let's go through it. And instead is from Boston.

These are all the accents throughout the film. We don't have to comment on them, but just sit back, relax, and listen to all the accents, and let's see what we find. Remember why you're here. You speak English. We came looking for black powder. In here? Tell him there's no better weapon here. Well, that's all well and good, but I'm not jumping. I'm alive today because I trust my white.

Pump them like a whale. To fight? Is there a chance? We have one black powder weapon left. Give me the spear. I've been a fool. I'm done with it. So, how's life without me? Believe me, I'm already thinking about trading him back for the powder.

I could take the black powder. Of course I do. I just don't trust you to make it out of here alone. Who taught you English? The one that comes back a lot is this one here. It's a little, it's almost American. It's a little, I mean, sometimes it's Matt Damon, sometimes it's John Wayne, sometimes it's Scottish, sometimes it's Irish.

Accents are fucking hard, man. The strange thing about Damon, too, William, is that he has a line in the beginning, I think when he's being surrounded where he says, I can take out the guards and the perimeter with my bow. And that's not possible. He doesn't have his bow, and he's tied up. He's tied up, and also there's a hundred people around him.

He's basically like, I can take those seven, you can take those guys, and then what about the 3,000 other people? He also seemingly understands Mandarin, because everyone around him is speaking Mandarin, and then when he's finally free, he's like, okay, get him in the eyes. How does he know? He's never even seen these creatures, and yet he is running tactical plays. Like, the only way he would have known that is if he also spoke Mandarin,

and then he's doing these fucking hawk-eye, like, flim-sliding on his back. Oh, he's straight-up Legolasing this. He cannot miss. Cannot miss. He arrives, and he can, he, they, The, what are they called the guards of the, of the, the, the nameless order? The nameless order, thank you. I got it.

The nameless order. The nameless order have been here guarding this wall for centuries, I guess. They are incredibly well trained. They're an incredibly well trained army. And yet, they're like, how did you kill this? We are. Blown away! But now, my question is, were they always under attack, or was it the first time?

Every 60 years. Right, but it was that the first time in 60 years when they happened to be captured? Yes. So that was the, they are relatively, their shit is together for the first time seeing these space dogs. It isn't, it isn't, and that's why I think that's why they do capture these two foreigners. It's not just that they're, you know, interesting to them it's because they have that space dog leg and so they know we've got to bring them up to the higher ups here because the space dogs are here much

earlier than we thought by the way days nine days early but that's huge but by the way you're right back then nine days was like 900 years yeah but and I guess my point is Paul sorry to interrupt is that they are so on point ready for the Tao Tees that nine days early means something's a fucking miss. It means they are getting smarter, they're evolving, something's off, they're here earlier.

Well, that's what the chief strategist is basically saying. Yes. Yeah. Is the chief strategist... You agree with the chief strategist. Is the chief strategist the one that... I do, but I'm just saying that's why you guys, you both didn't understand that that's...

That's why they had to... bring them up, something major has happened. Chief strategist is too busy making his hologram PowerPoint to be too concerned about it. I don't remember that. You don't remember the PowerPoint? No, what's up? Guys.

I'm telling you, I watched this movie in what felt like an active blackout. I felt unwell. Okay. This is the PowerPoint I was referring to. Where do they come from? About 20 centuries ago, there was an emperor whose greed brought deep suffering to all of China.

The heavens sent from Lithium that struck Goro Mountain, turning it green and releasing the Tau Tahrir. From that day on, the Tautier rise every 60 years to scourge the north of China. They come to remind us of what happens when greed is unchecked. unchecked. They eat anything, life or dead, and take food to their queen. She depends on her soldiers to feed her. Only with the food they provide, is she able to multiply. The capital, and its two million people, is only 800th year away. If the Tata ever had that much

nourishment, no corner of the world would be saved. They can't hunt them. Men try. They disappear. We never find their bones. Whoa. The ancient art of PowerPoint. That's right.

If you didn't, if you're just listening to that, that was all on a screen that he pulled down that became completely animated. Yeah, yeah. So this movie is like anti-capitalist, right? Well, here's the thing. Spoiler alert, they defeat them, so they kill them, so greed is good. Wall Street, Wall Street 2, Money Never Sleeps, No Big Deal, all ties together.

But, I mean, if they defeat, this is a thing to keep greed in check. Why do the space dogs, why do the space dogs symbolize cleansing the country of greed? Because, because if you, if, in, Because the, in the building... Like, like, that PowerPoint, he's basically like, you know, there was a guy, and he was so greedy that space dogs came. And they were like, bro, we got to keep this guy in check. Well, how do we do it?

Munch, much, munch. We're space dogs. We love food. I mean, I think that what's probably happened here is the Tau Tire always going, to come out after 60 years, like that's their nature. And I think these people have started to tell themselves

a story. Right. Because of their own anxieties about capitalism and the strain it puts on the basic goodness of humanity. The town ties, like, because the difference of that story is that in the version that they're telling,

it would be like, and they come to town and they look around. Have you built any big buildings? No. Okay, everyone's like sharing wealth? Okay, we'll go back to our cave. No, they just fucking eat everything. They're not like, the town ties are not registering if people are greedy.

They're just, they are senseless, or not senseless, they are gaining in intelligence, I guess, killing machines. They are, you know, they are just... You guys, they're just animals. They're aliens. They're not. They're just...

Oh, boy. What do you mean they're not aliens? I mean they're not aliens, and aliens in that. I don't think they have thoughts or intuitions, and they are just animals, and they're coming out to hunt. They make plans, and they do, they do trap, they set traps for them, and, you know, they're not, they're super intelligent, of course. They're smart animals, but they're animals. in that they are aliens they are an alien race

hell-bent on destroying like the way that you would think the predator is also an animal that is... I don't know about that he's a biped oh well right okay okay okay well this is interesting until thing of it. Listen, listen

so the xenomorph the xenomorph for alien is is also a biped. Really? I mean, when they get to be the... Yeah, right? Okay. I mean, they crawl...

Well, these are all aliens regardless. I just don't know if they're animals. Look, I agree with you, June, that they are... I think that... Why are they even here? I think that they're... I mean, their planet or their... I mean, it was a spaceship that crashed?

No, it was an asteroid. I know, but what were they doing on an asteroid? Stone Cold chilling, bro. I mean, you don't ride an asteroid but I would also say this the Tau Tau Tai they are...

They also, there are multiple there are at least three different types of a Tau Tai, and that's interesting. So there are like the foot soldier, like the the, you know, the first wave attack dogs. Then there are the ones that I love that have

fan out heads or whatever. Yeah, I love those. Like protect. And then the queen is in the middle. I liked that there was a, I liked that it wasn't just a horde of the same thing. I liked that there was steps

involved in what they were. See, I didn't realize they were all different. I thought that the ones who were protecting the queen and making that little beehive around her were just using their bodies in that way. I didn't realize they were different tautize. No, they were different creatures. They were bigger and had like some other element.

They had a weird head thing. The other one didn't have like that head thing. Listen, I'll say something about the Tao Tai. Yeah. What was interesting about them was the Tao Tie, and this is where I really related to them, they have to. You related to the Tao Tai?

I did. They have to like go back. home and they have to keep on going but they come out they fight they fight they fight and then they go back and they sort of collect themselves and they take a beat what's that queen is full the queen is full right but they did they seem to need a lot of respite in this film and they're we never know when they're going to come back right and i appreciated that about them that they valued rest and relaxation. They are basically the white walkers and the whites, right?

I don't watch any of that. So, like, Game of Thrones logic, the smaller Tau Tau Tye are the whites, just the attack zombies. And then you have like a little bit of like a hierarchical structure of larger and more intelligent Tautis that are like the White Walkers or the Night King, right? Now, all right, that's true.

I just have one more. And the same thing, if you kill the queen, boom, everybody's done so. Right. But my question is this, is, are they just attacking that small section of the wall or are the tau-tie up and down the wall? Well, what we find out later is that they've been attacking that section of the wall as a distraction, as a diversion while they dig that tunnel. Why couldn't they just dig that tunnel in the middle of the night?

It seems like three or four tauties could dig that tunnel. three or four Wow Do you know how much work Wow you really would pile that much work On three or four tautize Let me guess No breaks

They do simple 14 hour shifts They do a French lunch Which means they eat while they work No if you do I mean listen the tautize They work hard but then they play hard Oh yeah Oh yeah they're fun

Because you know what they're doing You know they take their dead they drag them off they toss them in the queen's mouth and then they fucking rage bro. Should one of the shirts for tonight show be like a club med for tauties?

Or like a tautai like a party shirt from like a towtie like frat house? It reminds me when I... It's a tautai doing a kank stand. When I went to... Sorry for this digression but when I went to Cozumel with my family on a cruise

my mom bought us all t-shirts at like a little stand on the side of the road and we all wore them me and my sisters and then realized they were all those lizards in like pornographic sexual positions wow oh my god so it was like all the positions grade and like looking at my sister and being like wait what is that and then looking at my own shirt Yeah, the lizards were like, oh, fucking each other and... We need to make that with tau-tie. Yes, that's the shirt.

Here's what I realized. Fight scenes are amazing. When you see a fight in John Wick, you're like, whoa, this is... John Wick, Chapter 3, Parabellum? TikTok, Mr. Shear. TikTok, Mr. Shear. While, we did that joke at the same time. Black it out.

Show's over. And there's something so visceral about it. It's so exciting. And when you watch people doing, like, moves around CGI creatures, it's so stupid. It's so stupid. Like, it's like they're not hitting anything. There's no fight. They're just on a green screen in a studio somewhere.

And that's what this movie made me, like, laugh. It's like, they're just fighting nothing. And they're like, ha, ha, ha. It's like dancing around in your bedroom. Like, take a picture. picture of us right now. Is that how you dance around in your bedroom? I do. Here, somebody take a picture of this and just C-G-I-N Tau-Tas.

It's like, I would look amazing. Like, you put the fucking Tau-Ti in the tip of my spear and I'm done. I think they look a little better than that, Paul. That was the thing that was tough about it is they, even when they knew that the eyes were

the weak spot, they still mostly didn't not attack the eyes. Well, the eyes were, like, on the shoulders. Yes. Why were the eyes on the shoulders? You know, they say the eyes are the shoulders of the soul? Do you think the magnets pulled the eyes away from the socket?

Interesting. Yeah, yeah, isn't it wild that magnets just scrambled their brains enough and made them deaf? And it was a small magnet. It was not a giant magnet. Wouldn't they be able to find more magnets? Guess what? Like, like, instead of putting, like, dynamite on all the arrows,

put magnets on all the arrows, shoot them out there. Everybody goes to sleep. Come by. Shoulder eyes stab. Shoulder eyes stab. Shoulder eye stab. Shoulder eye stab.

We can have this thing, boom, wrapped up. Again, that's a little. That's the first level idea. You sit with us for 60 years, all of a sudden we're going to come up with this fucking bungee cord thing. How about this?

If you're going to bungee jump your best female warriors, cover them in magnets. By the way, just drop a magnet down. And this is the weird thing about how they want to test these magnets. Like, why not just put them on those ladies? Because worse comes to worse,

it doesn't work. But maybe it will. Wait, a second ago you were saying all the depth of the... these women. No, I still think I have a problem with the fact that

the women are on the very they're basically sent to die. They are in such a vulnerable position on those bungee courts. But what I'm saying is they are...

Why do you live after you can play the drums that could? That's true. I loved all of the drumming. The drumming was amazing. I loved all of the drumming. And I love their outfits very 2001.

They were very like sleek and not dusty outfits. They were very futuristic in a way. You were worried they would be wearing dusty outfits? That was a concern of yours in the movie? I just feel like... You're like, oh, if I watch another dusty outfit movie,

I would like it if everybody was like clean and pressed and everything looked real good. It just feels like we're in the middle of the desert, it's hot. I know what you mean. The colors were vibrant and I appreciated that too. Maybe it's just a Chinese army knows how to like dress to impress. They look put together. Did anyone have any thoughts

on the big transformation of Matt Damon's hair in the movie? Oh, you mean when there was like, when the door opened and it was like, hunk alert? And they came walking in and Matt Damon had a rat tail? I will say

I prefer the bearded hair, Matt Damon. What? Yeah, I just thought there was something about him. Like, why wouldn't you have a chance to take a bath? Would you be like, well, I'll lose my style? It wasn't like he was dirty He just smelled a little Put some shampoo in there Put some style to get some moose

I also liked I don't think that was a real beard I would have liked it if he'd had a real beard You know and kept it You know not because Because there's a thing To clean up doesn't mean you have to get rid of your beard Yeah

I take showers a lot I took two showers today I didn't get rid of my beard Cool flex bro Yeah no big deal By the way That shower scene is my favorite dialogue in the whole movie.

They cover so many bases here. Look, this is... What are you doing here? We came looking for black powder. I bet you did. I came with mercenaries for the same thing. 25 years ago. And did you find it?

Finding it and living with it alive are two different things. You smell like animals. Thank you. Exposition dropped by. Like, that's such a, and then, and then this. Clean up, and they'll feed you. Take, like, take your time, well, let's go again.

Take your time. Take it, like, stretch it out. Then why is he still here? He needs help getting out? Right. We play our part. Take the powder. and go home.

I didn't sign up for this. Which part? Well, all of it. But most of the monsters. There's a lot of them. We really do smell. That was my favorite line. There's a lot of them.

We really do smell. It's almost like... I think the director's supposed to call cut when when the foe left the room. We'll just keep on going In character You're in character We'll go in character

We'll have fun with it Just reiterating There's a lot of them Yeah man That's more things than these two people Have ever seen They're they own When Willem Defoe walks in

Here's all they should say What the fuck was that What the fuck just happened I need you to tell us Everything about what the fuck is going on Because immediately Matt Damon gets the cuffs off And fucking pulls out

like he's in the fight and again you're trying to find this arc of this character what's the arc we are told he's a bad guy we don't ever see him being a bad guy the first moment that we really see him capture he's like free me so I can help fight and he never retreats from that position I think what we

what his journey is is just that he's been out for himself his whole life and for his own survival. Well, we do see him early on. I think he's meant to be Han Solo in that sense. I agree, but we never see him want to escape. We never see. He's always like, well, let's help him out.

Let's figure it out. He's like, well, you have to shoot arrows into the wall and put a bowl there for dinner. Like, all right, let's do it. Let's do it. I think what he's really drawn to, ultimately, is the family structure of this great wall community and that they're all together

and it's a real communal experience. He's lonely. He's lonely. Absolutely. At the beginning of the movie we see all of his friends get killed except for Pedro Pescal. And so at that point he's just like, he's a lonely guy and he sees an organization that he's like

I wouldn't mind getting into this. It's like Scientology. He's like, I'm here looking for Shelley, Miss Kavanaugh. is she here at the wall? No, she was sent on that bungee cord first. She was the first one off the wall. She was eaten by a space dog.

Here's the thing, though, when given the opportunity to stay with his new family, June, he does not. And he goes off with this guy who really fucked him over in a tremendous way. Yeah, but now he's got a different attitude.

Yeah. But Pedro Pescal doesn't. But Pager Pascal doesn't. else grew over again. Yeah, but there, he's an incorrigible scamp. All right, I'm in, I'm in. I was hoping it would be to a sequel. Maybe we will get that sequel.

Oh, yeah, yes. The greater wall. Let's talk about the end battle scene. When they find out that they are building a tunnel to get to the big pagoda city with the little boy, emperor, And what goes on here at the end is crazy to me, because the end of this movie is essentially trying to shoot, like, a basketball into a hoop, right? I mean, that's all their, like, their final move is, yes, they're trained archers, they're amazing, but they kind of just zipline down and like, whew!

Like, it's like trash can garbage. Yeah, I couldn't believe that Matt Damon. and skills weren't really used for that last shot. Well, here's what I think. I think that this, I think, Commander Lee, right? Or at this stage,

generally, in order for, right? She did get upgraded, yes. She is, she, you know, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. The General Lee, from the Dukes of Hatterly. I think at this stage, generally, like, she has to, she has to, listen,

These Duke boys are in a whole heap of trouble. By the way, they are the Duke boys. I think, because this is a Chinese movie, Xi has to win. Like, it cannot be the, you know, outsider who saves the day. That's why I think his skills are side-line. But again, shouldn't it have been more than just like, like, I mean, it really is a, it's like a one-and-a-old-rayed shot.

Yeah. It's like Damien Lillard all over again. It's like this last shot. It works. It works and they save the day. Against all odds. Against all odds. Yeah.

And now we will sing against all odds. Here's what, okay, here's a question I have. When Willem Defoe leaves, doesn't he say, doesn't he tell Pedro Pescal that he's, he's stored supplies and food along the route? Okay. So, why hasn't he left before? I think

he needs their help because I think he is, it's too dangerous, I suspect for him to be alone out there, which he then finds out immediately. Right. And then everyone starts tossing around baby grenades. It's a great scene. That was like very

funny. Like, what the fuck is? So stupid. They called it a grenade. They said, hand me a grenade. Not in that scene, in the later scene. He's, when they're in the, I will say this, I loved the hot air balloons.

Love them. I loved that. I loved that they first established the idea of the lanterns when the first general dies. So they show them releasing the lanterns into this guy, really great. And then you see macro versions of those lanterns are hot air balloons, and so, so many of them are failing. So many.

What is the name of the group again? The nameless order. The nameless order loses almost everybody. They're extremely flammable, Jason. This is like lighting a match on your sheet of paper. They are careening out of the. the sky on fire. It is wild. But that's where the movie,

there's things about this movie I really loved and that was one of them. That detail of like some of them are going to take off and some of them ain't. Yeah. Oh no, I thought it was great. So specific. I loved it to when the person, they were like, well, we can use the balloons. The chief strategist says

we can use the balloons and somebody's like, we can. They've failed in every test. Literally, they failed in every test. Well, We gotta do it. The tie ties are loose, baby. I mean, that is the thing

this movie does get right. The costumes, the pageantry, the set design, the, like, it is fun to watch. And that's where that money is, because a lot of this is practical. These are, when you're looking at those shots and it's what looks like to me

thousands of people, I believe there are thousands of them. Like, this is, I think they did a lot of this practically. And then they could not afford a dialect, coach. No. Or ADR. There was just no money left over for it. I love that the filmmakers went to China and said,

hey, can we actually shoot this on the Great Wall? And China was like, no. Absolutely not. This is blasphemous. You're talking about space dogs? And I love that the space dogs whole thing. FaceDog's whole thing was like just doing the World War Z horde until they get there and then they just build on top of each other to get over?

That's very much, what was that zombie movie? World War Z. Oh, yeah. Guys, we are, we are, we are unwelled. We are not good. We are bad. And honestly, I want to apologize, but also it's because of all of you. You made us do this.

Okay, we don't want to do this. This is your fault. Whoa, but look at this. I blame you, Boston. The guy who wrote this story is Max Brooks, the writer of World War Z. No. Yeah. So I guess he has a thing for a bunch of people climbing on top of people.

I thought this was based on, I thought this was based on a legend. I mean, I heard that a tau-tie's. I heard that a tow-tie. told his story and someone bought it and turned it into a book. A ghostwriter and a Tao Tai wrote the book. My father You had you bought that Tao Tai

story. These Tao Tai's I'll tell you what. The Tao Tai move at a clip. They really I found that scary. The pace at which they moved, I thought, listen, I was scared of the Tao Ties, I thought they were very effectively

drawn and produced. Even with their shoulder eyes? Yes. They didn't look like just like kind of a grab bag of every CGI creature you've ever seen. They look like the mutant dogs from Fallout 4. It just feels like, it feels like the first 90 creatures we ever created in CGI were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then now it's like, uh, put the eyes, the shoulder, make the kneecaps bigger, give them short arms and heads that look like balls. Got it, that's our new alley.

And I love when they, and they do. It's the same, again, and I'm so sorry, Boston, to keep harping on Game of Thrones, but it's the same thing. They're like, we've got to capture one of these to send it to the emperor so they can see, what's up? And that's the same thing that happened, the same dumb idea that happens in Game of Thrones. And they fucking get the Tau Tai and they send it to the emperor,

and the ember treats it like, oh, cool, I got a tau-tie. I'm going to, like, make it my friend. And then chaos. And then he's like, hey, man, tau-tis are here in the city. They're eating, like, everybody, bro. What are we doing? Well, I just said, I couldn't even focus on that scene because I was like, what a waste of meat.

Wasted all that meat on that tau-tai. Well, they needed, wow, they needed to get, though, boy. I'm not even going to explain it. I was like, they could have. just had a real good barbecue. Ladies and gentlemen, we have talked a lot about these tau-tie's, and now it's a chance for us to talk to you

with your questions about this movie. Ma'am, your name and I want you to say it in your best Matt Damon accent, so that means any which way you want to do it, and your question. My name is Amy. Great.

Why did they make that one guy that, like, maybe saved Matt Damon from being betrayed by his friends or whatever washed dishes in his armor. Well, he was, didn't he have a moment of cowardice? And so he was like sent back to the kitchen. But yeah, you're right. I guess, you know, they were like, and you know what?

You might have to fight at any moment, so keep your armor on. But here's an apron. I couldn't understand. When that guy originally in that first moment, couldn't find the keys to their prison cell. Was it, is it possible that the key just wasn't there? What do you mean? I mean, was it really his fault?

I think so. I just didn't know what we were supposed to read from that. Was he trying to help them? Was he? Oh, no, I think he was just fumbling over a bunch of keys? I think they were trying to show us that he may be as incommel. So that he could have, like, a heroic moment later? I don't know.

I just don't maybe the key wasn't actually there. I'll be honest. I don't remember any of the parts of this movie. I have full-blown mementoed myself. What you are describing, I have no memory of. Sir, your name in the best... Did this scene happen? Now I'm worried I made it up.

And your question. It did. My name is Michael. So, do the space dogs need? to attack this city specifically because if they're so smart and their ultimate objective is to take over the world and the wall is the only thing keeping them out can't they just go the other way around the world again I don't know much about geography but it sounds sound the mountain they

live in is green Like, that's crazy. To look out on the horizon and see a glowing green mountain? You know Tau Tais live there. You know where they are. They're in the green mountain. Guess what? Go get gunpowder, blow up the green mountain.

Boom. Or just bring a bunch of fridge magnets to it. Yes. Put fridge magnets on the whole outside. They won't leave the mountain at all. Sir? My name is Patrick. We still haven't talked about the moment where Pedro Pascal becomes a matador.

Yes. Yes. And they, Pedro Pascal and Matt Damon are calling out fight plays to each other. Like, they're on a football field, like deciding what to do. They, the way they talk, the familiarity with which they say what to do next in life and death situations, and it's so casual. Oh, when he says Die well, brother, it is thrown away, like,

and I thought beautifully so I'm obsessed with Pedro Prescal. He's great. He's so good. He's great. All right, sir, your name and your best accent, and your question. My name is Alex. And in the beginning

of the movie, they talk about how this is one of the legends. I just wanted to ask you guys, what do you think the other legends were like? I mean, my God. Oh, my God. What a great way to do sequels to this movie. The same characters is different legends.

I mean, yeah. White Walkers? I mean, that is a really crazy idea that the Tao Ties are simply one of the legend. Yeah. One of the many legends is Space Dogs. Well, you know why they built the wall, right? Why?

Well, legend has it. Space dogs. You've, of course, heard of the Tao Tai, right? Oh, man. Yeah, no, I mean, here's the thing that I do think we're all going to find soon enough when we get the Tao Tai Sexual Positions T-shirts. We're going to really see how you make a Tao Tai. So the Tao Tai reproduced just by their, their queenie.

is just asexually reproducing them. Laying eggs? Or maybe giving birth? I don't know. I don't know if she has to have sex in order to... I don't know if they're... I don't think so.

Because from the PowerPoint presentation, it seemed that as long as she's fed, she can produce more tau-tie. She's just crapping them out. I think so. That's what they do. They go back to the Green Mountain and she farts out a couple thousand more tau-tis.

Next thing you know, they're scampering on down. 60 years later, they're scampering on down. Oh, boy, oh boy, oh boy. We really had some fun in the audience tonight. I don't think anything got definitively answered. But we went out there anyway. It's been great to talk about this movie,

and we certainly have an opinion about it, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second. Opinions There you go It took my nerves And it rattled my brains This fucking movie's driving me insane

Oh baby, this shit's crazy Goodness gracious Great Wall got five stars Give it up for Randy It is now time for second opinions when Matt Damon arrived with that accent as varied as the flags he used to serve he saw the need of magnets early on choice so great got a raid on Amazon it's time for second opinions compelled to defend this awesome plot and if they just believe in Matt's skill with a bow it all

makes sense said maybe Willem Defoe he's a white savior on his best behavior to become a hero and choose His friend Pedro Over black powder This deserves Five Stars Second Opinions On Amazon

Holy cow, that was amazing. This movie has 894 reviews, and 38% of them are five stars. They're all called from Amazon, and I'll start off with this one. From Konji Jin. Actually, a good movie. I was skeptical when my hubby and kids wanted me to see it What I liked about it was that there was no kissy-face sex scenes Or much profanity

The movie spoke for itself as movies should Go see it, five stars I mean I actually did like they didn't go for a romance Between Matt Damon and generally I agree Yeah, I mean, we were sort of walking that line or I thought we were headed there at some point, but I think they made the right choice there.

They respected themselves as warriors. Yes. And I guess it makes sense that that's why he did go with Pedro. He wasn't in love with her to stay there. Not at all. Yeah. I think they fucked. What?

After that big battle sequence, when all the space, you know, because they have to also clean those space dogs out. of the pagoda area. That's true. They've got so many space dog corpses to get rid of. Push it out into the sea. Yeah, where do you get rid of all those?

Just burn them? Just burn the space dog corpses? I mean, probably eat them. Ooh. Right? Oh-oh. Oh. Oh.

Sequel. Everybody's roasting that tau-tie? Just like a big barbecue movie. It kind of becomes like a funny, like. It's like Matrix 2 with the race. the rave, it's just a barbecue? Zidlaw Meglecki writes,

I promise myself never to watch Matt Damon movies because I can't stand his leftist politicking. But then I watched this one, and I loved it.

It is a really very good movie. It combines great Chinese movie tricks that we know from many other movies of theirs with a riveting story and a horde of toothy alien creatures

only a mother could love Matt Damon is disappointingly for me good he slashes the monsters very professionally which is his job now

other than fighting and slashing, there is not much else in the film to recommend. But hey, this is more than enough for an hour and a half of great entertainment. Five stars. Wow. What a ride that was. This is from Grady Padgett, and the title is,

Not Your Average Monsters at War Movie. Dot, Dot, Dot, Dot, Not a Dot. all. I'm going to just jump in midstream. This movie, I will add this movie to my collection. This will be a great flick to have my friends over for a night showing in the barn. We put up a big white sheet on the wall. We use the Sony projector and pass around the popcorn. The kids will screen the Sony projector. Did they buy that on Amazon? Maybe. the kids will scream and love every minute of it.

Matt makes a great hero. Matt? Yep. Proving. Awly familiar. Yeah, I know, very. I also love that the kids will scream every minute of the film. I would actually like to watch the movie that way.

Ah! Wah! Ha! Wah! Matt makes a great... They're just long screams until they pass out. Just a bunch of unconscious

kids on the floor of a barn somewhere covered in popcorn. You get it. Matt makes a great hero proving that tigers can change their stripes. Thank you all for a job well done.

And please, there's just a peak of a chance for a sequel where Matt might come back for his only to find her the nation deeply embroiled in another race against time fighting a new, implacable foe

that he must contend with. Oh yeah! Five stars. Wow. People are really like going in on these really. This is like, they are invested. I mean, can you imagine

watching this movie on a white sheet? In a white sheet? I think it's on a white sheet. I said on a white sheet. Oh, I thought you were saying it was a KKK rally where they were what? Where they were screaming the Great Wall. Is that a tau-tie?

There's a tau-tie. Guys, no, I don't want to freak any minute out. There's a tow-tie. Do not bring your tow-ties to the theater. You have to shut off your cell phones and keep your tauties in the parking lot. This last one is from Kitty. It was written in July.

Kitty Tukakis? Well, when I read it, it might very well be from Kitty Tukakis. Oh no. This is written in 2017. When my husband Michael ran for president. You'll see why in a second. A mistake to watch, but I was incredibly drunk. So I thought I was watching Jason Bourne fight mutated cockroaches.

Very exciting. Five stars. Now, when I read that, I said drunk. Because I thought, I knew you needed to hear it that way. But the way it's written is, I was incredibly drink. I was incredibly drink. And the title is, mistake to watch, but I was incredibly drink. Dot, dot, dot, dot.

And those are some of the reviews of the Great Wall. Now, the Great Wall came out in 2017. Its budget, I'm sorry, was $150 million. Wow. And its opening weekend, it made $18 million. Domestic. Yes. That's here.

But worldwide? $350 million. $334 million. That's $289 million foreign. This movie is a huge hit. It came in 59th in the United States out of all the movies. made in 2017. Star Wars Last Jedi, Beauty and the Beats and Wonder Woman

were the top three. This movie was beaten by Fate of the Furious. This movie beat the return of Xander Cage, Valerian, Geostorm, the disaster artist, and the snowman. What can you do, people? You guys got to be quicker on that. So interesting.

It is, it's a hit. And one little fun fact is that Andy Lau, who is the strategist, a guy who shows the PowerPoint, and Matt Damon both played the same role of an undercover gang member working on a police force

in infernal affairs and the departed. Yeah, so they shared a role. Jason, June, would you recommend people watch us with it? It would be hard to do that.

I would say yes, but if you're going to watch the, if you're going to do the podcast. Well, yeah. I would say watch it, but fast forward through sections until it looks like something some big spectacle is happening, then watch that.

Hmm. All right, I like that. I would watch the set pieces. Yeah, I mean, there is a lot of pieces of this movie that I enjoyed. But it's hard, it doesn't, you know, it doesn't amount to anything, of course. But

there was a lot that I did enjoy. It's a very simple plot, and I think if you don't know their space dogs, that to me is the moment where, like, I haven't felt a shock like that. Oh, I was stunned. I mean, it really was like, like it really got me. I don't think I'd seen the poster or anything. Are there Tao Tau Tis on the poster? No. There is a Tau Tau TIE poster.

It's just an eye. It looks very much like how to train your dragon. that Jason loves. Love it. I love all three of them. I love all three of them. What I will say is... Toothless? Come on.

Maybe what you should do is bring this movie over to a friend's house. Like, oh, it's a beautiful historical picture. And you set it up and then you can get to watch their natural reaction to the Talaties. That's the best way to kind of watch it. That's a great proposal. So do the great wall prank on your friends.

Yeah. We want to start, like, our own Jimmy Kimmel-style video pranks. Tape your friends watching it to see what they react to when they see a tow-tie. And then, like, throw a dead tow-tie at them. I think this is a good, like, you're cleaning your house, your apartment vacuuming movie. It's on in the background. You see a flaming marble. You're like, oh, cool.

You see a balloon. Like, you don't have to get into it. as much as we did. It's interesting on some level. Don't meet us here. Don't live our lives. Yeah, it's not great over here. Now, did anyone get the inside joke

in the movie? Come again? Yep, this guy got it. All right. So when Matt Damon was asked if he'd been left behind before, he replied, yes, twice before, and it didn't end well for them.

this is an homage to Interstellar and the Martian in both he was left behind on other planets when an expedition went wrong but I would say born too right I mean well I guess he wasn't left behind but he was left for dead

saving Private Ryan so he's been left maybe this is a fake people abandoned Matt Damon that is the lesson here people are like gotta get away from this guy Oh my goodness, Boston, you have been an amazing crowd. You did it, Boston, you fucking did it.

Thank you so much for coming. Happy birthday, Matthew.