How Did This Get Made? - Troll

Episode Date: September 6, 2024

We're back in studio for the first time in a year (!) to celebrate the 1986 fantasy/horror movie TROLL featuring Sonny Bono, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Michael Moriarty. Paul, June, & Jason discuss Harry Potter Jr. and Harry Potter Sr., the talking mushroom, all the memorable apartment layouts, Malcolm going on a dinner date with a child, the bonkers Troll song, and so much more. Troll 2 VIRTUAL live show on Sept 6th (pay what you can tickets) + we'll be in NYC on Nov 15th! Go to hdtgm.com for ticket info, merch, and for more on bad movies.Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of TraumaFor extra content on Matinee Monday movies, visit Paul's YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheerTalk bad movies on the HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheerFollow Paul’s movie recs on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer/Check out new HDTGM movie merch over at teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmPaul and Rob Huebel stream live on Twitch every Thursday 8-10pm EST: www.twitch.tv/friendzoneLike good movies too? Subscribe to Unspooled with Paul and Amy Nicholson: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael: www.thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcastCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comWhere to find Paul, June, & Jason:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is not on social mediaGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link siriusxm.com/hdtgm and code HDTGM.

Harry Potter, get your wrap burgers because it's time to swing with goblins, nymphs, and Sonny Bono. We saw a troll, so you know what that means. Now it's time for How Did This Get Made? We're gonna have a good time, celebrate some failure, not just be the hater, cause either you wonder how did this get made? Let's waltz in the mediocrity of subpar art, perhaps you'll find the answer to the question, how did this get made? Hello people of Earth and welcome to How Did This Get Made.

Today we are talking about the 1986 film Troll. Is it a child's movie? Is it a horror movie? I don't know. We'll break it all down. But all you need to know is a family moves into an apartment building in San Francisco when a girl is immediately embodied by an evil troll who used to be a king but wants to get back to a world of fairies. I think. Anyway, we'll break it all down in just a bit,

but first, let me introduce my co-hosts in the studio for the first time in over a year. Welcome Jason Manzoukas and June Diane Raefiel. Welcome both. Wow, a year? That seems impossible. A year. A year ago, we were talking about Al Pacino and the Hangman. And now we're talking about Harry Potter

and Harry Potter Jr. The Harry Potter stuff and Harry Potter Jr. I really couldn't deal with in the movie. It was so funny to me that characters kept saying, Harry Potter Jr. Yes, the two characters, the father and son in this film are Harry Potter Senior and Harry Potter Junior. And it's said so many times,

and obviously this is made in 1986, but it feels like they're like nudging you. Like you get the joke, like Harry Potter, but it's not a joke because clearly Harry Potter hasn't been invented yet. I know, that's what was so strange about it. And it had me thinking like, is Harry Potter a funny name in and of itself? Like it was hard to know what they were going for.

Well, it's also hard to reconcile. And maybe this is a question for JK Rowling. Hard to reconcile that this was a magic-based wizards and trolls world, the lead characters of which were named Harry Potter. Like, did J.K. Rowling see this movie and then just do a slight rewrite? Well, this is an accusation that has been going around.

Oh, wait, has it really? Yes. That's why J.K. was canceled. Oh, wait, has it really? Yes. That's why JK was canceled. You know that, Jason? It has nothing to do with her very controversial takes. It is simply because of it's just plagiarism. People can put up with her transphobia, but they will not stand for this theft. Uh, this, this, these are, this is a story that exists.

How dare she take it over? How dare she try and make it hers? Here's what's interesting. I was trying to look up something about troll, not trolls. Troll. And it's, it's shocking how many troll movies there are out there. Oh, well, I remember Troll 2 being a big,

Curtis and John, Curtis Gwyn and John Gemberling doing screenings of Troll 2 or something like that back in New York, right? Oh, yes, that's... Yes, yes, yes. Did we do Troll 2? We've never done Troll 2, but guess what? We will be doing Troll 2 for our next episode. Next episode? What is it? Is it Troll Summer?

It is Troll Summer. It's Troll Fall. Hot Troll Summer. Back to Troll. Back to... Wait, it's for the fall? It's not for the summer? Well, I guess it's August, you know? It's spring forward, Troll back.

It's a part of Sweeps? Yes, we're finally attacking the Troll franchise. But you're right, like, there are so many troll movies and all of them seemingly unrelated to each other. You know, June, you know what we did? Leprechaun. We did a leprechaun, which I feel like you could maybe get a,

you could maybe feel like they were connected. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I, for a minute, thought, when you said we were gonna do the next troll, I thought Jennifer Aniston was in that, but that's a leprechaun too. That's a le yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I, for a minute, thought when you said we were gonna do the next troll, I thought Jennifer Aniston was in that, but that's a leprechaun too, isn't it? That's a leprechaun, yes.

Not leprechaun too, but leprechaun. Now, I will say, there are some insane things that are going on, because the people who were involved in this movie, accused JK of stealing the Harry Potter name. Like that's all she did. She stole that. Cause this boy is not magic.

The girl, if anything is magic. But anyway, they are trying to like, Oh yeah. I mean, that's a true thing. It's that the producer has accused JK of stealing certain elements of this film. Which is, I'm assuming, because Eunice Sinclair is a witch.

Yes, so he says that she borrowed elements from Troll, and JK says, no, it just came. Wait, JK Rowling replied? She replied, she said the idea just came to her, but the producer, John Booker, says, I don't think so. And as a matter of fact, John Bookler now is striking back in 2012, he was like, I'm gonna remake the original Troll film and it would be the same plot as Troll,

but the name of it was gonna be Turok the Troll, one child shall save the world, which is very much trying to be like Harry Potter. I wonder, could you, could they call, because they had the Harry Potter name in Troll first, could they call a new Troll movie Harry Potter's Revenge? Or Harry Potter Jr.? Well this is the thing. Harry Potter Jr. Jr.?

Harry Potter Jr. Jr.'s revenge? In August of 2011, there was another prequel reported called Troll, The Rise of Harry Potter Jr. with an animated series. The film was going to have Patricia Shartkett. OK, I know you're reading from something, but sometimes I seriously, this is a bit of an aside, but I seriously worry, like, I,

cause I believe all these facts that you're saying right now will stay with you the rest of your life. Oh, yes. It would be like, it would be like usual suspect in that we reversed on Paul and realized he wasn't reading off of anything. He was just reciting everything from memory or making it all up.

But this is gonna always, you will never not know this. And I will forget it as soon as I press end on the Zoom. I don't know what we're talking about. I don't know what movie we're talking about right now. I don't even remember right now in the moment we're in. I'm Tabula Raza already. Before we started recording, we talked about how the last in-studio episode we did was the Al Pacino movie, which neither of you remembered.

Only producer Molly. I have zero recollection. I have a vague memory. I have a very vague memory. But the memory I have of that movie is simply a sketch of a hangman. Oh, yeah. Which is different than the Fuck-Solo sketch.

And I keep thinking of Snowman. I think I keep thinking of the Snowman. Snow Dad is better than No Dad? No, that's a different. That's the other, oh my god, we've done this. Well, that's Jack Frost. It's over for us. Right, yeah. RIP us.

It's over. No, no, Snowman is the one where it's like, hey, Mr. Police Man, where it's like the bad guy. Harry Hole. Harry Hole, doesn't that also have a hangman's drawing? Or I guess it's just a snowman's drawing. Is this just a recap episode? Of the podcast, of old podcast episodes?

This is us just going back. This is us just going back. I mean, here's what I'll say about this movie. This is a how did this get made clip show where we just try and remember past episodes. Honestly, that's a great, by the way, that is a great idea. I wanna talk about, cause the very beginning of the movie,

actually, the movie is book ended with an incredibly important visual piece of imagery, and that is Harry Potter seniors bucket hat. It's huge. My it's a massive component of the film as our bucket hats in general, because numerous other people are also wearing bucket hats. I didn't realize that, Jason, but I was obsessed with that bucket hat and how it perched on his head. It didn't go over anything. It didn't...

Here's my question. Do you think that was Michael Moriarty being like, I gotta wear this hat? Like, is that an actor's choice? Because it's so unlike the rest of his wardrobe. Yes. It's like a fisherman's hat or it's like a weird, a weird hat on top of what he's normally wearing,

which is like a sweater in chinos. You know what I mean? It's not. Here's the problem though with his character. I mean, I could talk about Harry Potter senior for roughly two hours. His character, the guy who wears that bucket hat to just drive in, it's the only time we see him wear it is when he's moving in to that apartment and when he's, I think

moving out because they have soup cases at the end. Can I suggest- It's also in the fire alarm scene. Oh, interesting. Which is where they introduce every character over the sound of a blaring alarm bell, which is crazy. I know they talk about Pope in the Pool where you're trying to hide exposition with something interesting on screen, but don't try to hide exposition where a loud noise is going off.

They literally introduce every character over a loud alarm bell. Also during that scene, they also have competitive sounds happening, like the music in the guy's Walkman is happening at the same time as the alarm, which is happening at the same time as the shotted conversation. Yes. Well, but what I was gonna say about Bucket Hat is that Bucket Hat... Bucket Hat Dad is the same dad

who takes a break in the middle of the day to dance... Oh, boy. To rock out. ...to dance in socks. Now, here's the thing. They talk about them moving 3,000 records into that apartment. Which, let me be clear, I have no problem with. That's not my problem.

I was gonna say that's a little less than what you have, right? That is probably a little bit less. Now, that being to be clear though, we never see the records, we never see a record player. We do. We do. They're dusting the records. Malcolm points them out.

Oh, okay. Because when he's dancing around, there's no speakers, there's no record playing. You don't see anything. He's just dancing to loud rock music. And by the way, why that many records when he is a book reviewer for a local paper? Like, his job isn't...

Just make him a music reviewer. Why not? He's also a writer, Paul for a local paper. Like his job isn't, just make him a music reviewer. Why not? It would be- He's also a writer, Paul. Oh yes. Oh, he's a writer as well? He's a great writer.

Okay, got it. I thought he just reviewed books. I think he very well made just review books for work. I think he is an aspiring novelist, as all men of this generation were, I believe. That's right. They all thought they were gonna write the great American novel were, I believe. That's right. They all thought they were going to write the great American novel, like, before work. Oh, my God.

That's right. And also, I do think... Yeah, eat shit, boomers. I do think that, you know, there's a lot of artists who, you know, get inspiration from various mediums. Sure. I had no problem with him getting inspired by music. I just couldn't make heads or tails of who he was. Well, here's the thing. That specific scene, that specific scene, did it feel like he and

other people were starting to be influenced by the magics that were going on? It felt like he was dancing with an abandon that he didn't quite understand and that his wife found strange. She keeps looking at him like, what's he up to? I disagree. I think that this is him. OK. And he and his wife is like, oh, that music is too loud.

And then she looks at him and she's like, oh, he's having fun. OK, that's fine. So, yeah, no, I didn't know why that scene was in there. I thought the only thing I could, like, make sense of, it's like our minds, you know, in our most primitive state, we have to make meaning, you know? We have to make stories.

And so I was like, well, okay, I think that what we're learning here is he is so, he is so sort of distracted and in his own world that he doesn't realize his daughter is a troll. Like that's the only thing that I could survive. I buy that. You see, I find that he, yeah, that his idea is like, he's so, such a free spirit that his daughter acting,

yeah, absolutely insane, he's like, oh, that's my daughter. I'm like that too. Yeah. Absolutely insane. He's like, Oh, that's my daughter. I'm like that too, because listen to this. That music is not music that you danced to. I felt that that was the was the weird thing about it. It's like, he's doing like a twist, but it's also kind of heavier. You know what's interesting too,

because it's a cover of Ain't No Cure for the Summertime Blues, but it's like a real punk, rocky, noisy version of it, right? Which is incongruous in every way, shape, and form to Michael Moriarty, who you might know, as I do, as the first district attorney on the Law and Order franchise. He, for the first number of seasons,

is the district attorney on Law and Order. And, you know, as someone who is... He was let go because of erratic behavior. Yep, and he's a... Wait, the district attorney or Michael Moriarty? No, no, Michael Moriarty. Okay. Michael Moriarty. I didn't know if theyiarty. Okay. Michael Moriarty.

I didn't know if they went that path in Larno. So he seems like such a straight-laced guy. So yes, you're right, June. The bucket hat and the weird music choices, they don't work at all for who he appears to be. He's in a sweater and a button-down, rocking out to a punk version of Ain't No Cure for the summertime blues,

blissed out. I mean, I haven't, yeah, I don't know. Can I tell you another piece of the story that I had to tell myself? Because I didn't know why they were moving. I might've missed it in the beginning, but I thought, oh, he's taken some real artistic risks. He's put the family in financial jeopardy. They were in a nice suburb in a house

with a lawn in a backyard. And they have had to majorly downgrade to this apartment building because of his mania. Yeah. And I would believe that. I would believe that. I would believe that because really, the movie happens to this family. Yeah. Because we don't find out why they've moved. I would believe that, I would believe that, because really the movie happens to this family.

Yeah, because we don't find out why they've moved. The inciting incident happens mere seconds after it begins, right? Like it is literally... The movie, I will say, as opposed to other movies we've done, the movie doesn't take long to get to what's going on, but what it does take a long time, an hour and five minutes to do

is give you any exposition, give you any rules, any information regarding the trolls. And it takes us literally at an hour and five minutes, Harry Potter Jr. walks into Eunice St. Clair's apartment, I believe Jessica St. Clair's grandmother. I would hope. And that was Jessica St. Clair who played the younger version of her.

That's her daughter though, actually. Yeah, that's June Lockhart and Anne Lockhart. June Lockhart. Those are mother daughter pair, which I only saw when the credits rolled. I was like, wow. Wait, but June Lockhart is a famous... Yes, she's the Beaver's mom, right?

No, that's the Beaver. That's who I was named after. Oh, wait. No, June Lockhart was in Lost in Space and Lassie. Lost in Space. And Petticoat Junction. Lost in Space is what it was for me. Yes, yeah.

Anyway, so he goes in and she has like, they've met numerous times already, Harry Potter Jr. and Una Sinclair. They've met numerous times. At one point, Harry Potter Jr. just comes into her apartment to puke. Yep. He lives only a flight down.

And she's always got hot chocolate made, which is weird. But anyway, she then proceeds to walk him through an illustrated manuscript, like an illuminated tome of that is the story of the trolls and the fairies. She has all the information we need to understand the movie. Why doesn't she tell it to us earlier? Like, it doesn't benefit us because we're trying to do what June is trying to do,

which is trying to make sense of what's happening. How to Disco Beat All we know in the first moments of this movie is that a young girl goes to play with her ball in the communal laundry room when she is enveloped, or like a troll embodies her. It's like she's in the troll and the troll is inside her. Like, they are two as one.

So much better if, and maybe this is in there and I just missed it, if she found that ring, put it on. And that's what was the, um, that's what, I mean, the inciting incident, but that's the bit of magic transference that happens. Because the way it unfolds is just, there's a troll, there's her, and now there's her acting like the troll. And we assume the troll has now taken over

her corporeal form? Well, first of there's her acting like the troll. And we assume the troll has now taken over her corporeal form. Well, first of all, her body is... The troll did not jump into her body. We'll learn that later. Her body is just asleep in a box. In a glass coffin. In a glass coffin. But the hard, the tough thing is that... For kids.

A Sleeping Beauty style. Yeah, a Sleeping Beauty style. It's a movie for kids. Yes, it is. But the really weird thing about this movie too is we didn't get to know who she was without being a troll. We are meeting insane.

So I'm just watching this girl. Yeah. And I'm like, this seems like who she, I don't know another version. I have no point of comparison. When she, when the parents first noticed the girl is acting weird, she is devouring a rat burger. I don't know another version. I have no point of comparison. When she, when the parents first notice the girl is acting weird, she is devouring a rat burger.

The movie starts off with- What does that mean by the way? I don't understand that. That's what Michael Moriarty says. He's calling, they're getting hamburgers. They're calling them rat burgers. I can't tell if that's the name of the place they're getting them from.

Or if that's the little- Hope not. If that's the family's nickname, funny nickname for hamburgers is Rat Burger. I mean, that's a terrible nickname for, it sounds like. Well, especially with the way they get them, whatever they call it, fully loaded or whatever, it looks disgusting.

Oh, it's so gross. She is eating it like a troll, I guess, a troll who loves Rat Burgers. I mean. So at that point, from the troll, I guess. A troll who loves, uh, rap burgers. I mean... So at that point, from the moment... Let me... I just wanna be clear. I'm clear on something. From the minute the movie begins and the laundry room switch happens,

we're assuming that Wendy Anne, it's also strange that in this era of movies, horror-adjacent movies, they're all about little kids in trouble, and they're all like little blonde girls who are named, like this is Wendy Anne, and it's, isn't it Carol Anne in Poltergeist, which is the exact same archetype?

The director was giving a little wink to Anne from Poltergeist and Wendy from Peter Pan. Mash-up. And I do have a theory here of what you're gonna go for. Okay, that makes sense. But anyway, it's so weird. So we're to assume that from the laundry room forward, the little girl is in none of the movie.

It's just the troll in little girl, like, you know, magic. Right? I thought the same thing too, but then I watched the special features where the director spoke about why this girl was the perfect choice. He said, because many actresses came in, many actresses brought a very dour, uh, dark side of themselves to the audition. He's like, no, no, no, that is not right.

Jenny Beck still kept her own sense of self. And he was saying that Turok, the troll, basically is puppeteering her. He has access to all of her memories, her relationships. That's why Turok isn't confused about where the bedroom is or who the brother is. So it's sort of like there are two people inside, even though she's sleeping in a glass case in another room, he is puppeteering, but he's got access.

It's like he's got the GPS, he could see where she's been. I don't know, I don't understand it more than that. I think at the end of the day, I would have enjoyed the movie more, and this movie was very fun, and I can see why it's perfect for the show. I would have enjoyed it more more. And this movie was very fun, and I can see why it's perfect for the show. I would have enjoyed it more if I just had more, if I knew more rules.

If I understood the rules that existed for all these people, it would have been more fun to watch them play around inside of the... Because once, like, the only exteriors are at the very beginning when they're moving in and the very end when they're moving out. The rest of the movie takes place inside the apartment building only.

And probably because this movie was shot in Rome. Okay, okay. Why? What? Why? What? That makes no sense. For what reason?

Yes, this movie was shot in Rome, this San Francisco film about an apartment building. So they only really had about two exterior shots. Once, yeah. Well, listen, I actually, I love a movie that just deals with the tenants of an apartment building. That's why you love Melrose Place. I love Melrose Place.

I also love Mixed Nuts. And the duplex. You know, my favorite Christmas movie. Nora Ephron's first movie. Yeah. Steve Martin talking about Melrose Place. Mixed Nuts, you know, my favorite Christmas movie. Nora Ephron's first movie. Yeah. Um, it all takes place. Steve Martin talking about Mixed Nuts

in the Steve Martin documentary is amazing. He's like... Another, by the way, two, iconically strange Julia Weidreifuss performances. Yes. Mixed Nuts and this movie. Who is she? Oh, of course she plays the tree lady, which on the story. The rollerblading Christmas tree.

She's great. She, Steve Martin does say in Steve, the documentary, the two part documentary, which is fantastic. He's like, when I saw that poster of Mixed Nuts, when I was driving down Wilshire Boulevard with my head and that Santa cap on, I thought, oh no, this is not good.

Well, that's really hurtful, because that's my favorite Christmas movie. I'm not, yeah, I know, yeah. I'll tell Steve that. But so, so I love that. I love the idea of like, oh, all these people living in close quarters, living such different lives, getting smashed together for different reasons.

Like that is my, I love that type of movie. This was so difficult because I didn't know why they were being turned into the trolls they were being turned into. There was no rhyme or reason. Like, if I thought it would be a much... How is that even a thing? But it would be a much better movie if, like, the guy who lives across the street from the Potters, who is super into, you know, former Marines,

super into bodybuilding, like, if he was a specific type of troll, if he was made a very overweight troll, or some... I didn't know why they were... And then I also had no idea why Malcolm's troll was simply Malcolm. Well, like a little, no, an elf though, an elf, wait, Malcolm is the professor? Yes.

Right, he becomes an elf, he's got elf ears. I know, but it looks exactly like him. That's the same little mustache. Just to back it up here, the elves, or not the elf, the trolls plan, as we understand later, after really like a four page, uh, you know, monologue from June Lockhart is to turn each apartment into a different fantasy realm, even though they all look exactly alike, which is just forest full of nymphs and goblins and fairies.

And if he was to turn all the apartments into the fantasy realm, he could bring back the fantasy world that he once was a part of, because he was a king who was married to June Lockhart, who then was turned into a troll after a war between the trolls and the humans. But I have no idea why it's all happening in San Francisco and why the troll is in that area right now.

Yes, why now? Why here? Why? Like, any of this, and also why? Even this much explanation that is given, which is the exposition dump that we're talking about, happening over an hour into the movie, makes that previous hour absolutely bizarre. Inexplicable. Well, I also found it very strange that Ginlock Heart,

when she reveals that the troll is her husband, who's seeking revenge because he was turned into a troll, she doesn't have any sympathy for him. Yeah. Yeah. her husband who's seeking revenge because he was turned into a troll, she doesn't have any sympathy for him. Yeah, yeah. Like there's no love lost between the two of them. And I was like, well, he was captured and turned into a troll, that wasn't his fault.

No, I think he was turned into a troll because he was being evil. He was trying to like be a bad guy. I don't know, Jason. Oh, maybe that's okay. This is the story I had decided because out of confusion was that he had taken a turn towards evil. So they had rebelled against him, turned him into a troll

and her and the mushroom plant, I think were- Okay, we gotta talk about the mushroom plant. We gotta talk about Galway or whatever. The mushroom plant, again, because the mushroom plant exists in multiple scenes before it's explained. So she's just sitting there painting and there is an obvious mushroom plant with a face on it. Who speaks like this.

Oh, come on. What? What are we doing? And by the way, all of this I could accept if any of the apartment layouts looked normal. I mean, the apartments, the layout here, whoever designed these apartments, did a terrible job. I mean, there are walls where they don't need to be. They also look like just large areas where, like...

Well, you look at the exterior, and it's like a small apartment building that probably has four apartments on each floor or something like that. When you cut into these apartments, these apartments are like 6,200 square feet each. Every apartment is enormous. And mostly living spaces.

I mean, when you go into the Army Guys room, the Army Guys main entrance leads into an African safari room where it looks like it is fully, it's just a giant desk, giant chairs, you know, there are skinned animals, African art on the walls. There doesn't look like there is anything else here, but like a table that looks almost like a pool table that he is sent. Like that's the entire design.

Whereas, uh, the woman with the mushroom, her whole design is an also a big giant room that has just weapons, just weapon, an entire wall of mounted spears and swords and weapons that we see multiple times that nobody ever says, how can we have all these swords until she's giving one to the little boy? And then she gives a magic, she gives a magic spear which I'll be completely honest, looks like a curtain rod and I'm almost certain is a curtain rod.

She gives him a spear that shoots magic out of it, and is like, here, go do stuff. What? She says, well, okay, we'll get to the ending, I guess, but she says, find the biggest one. Yes. The biggest one, and stab him through the heart with this. Now, when that scene happens,

first of all, like, why are we killing a giant troll for our big finale to return everything back to normal so all is well and the sister can be restored to her normal self? Why are we killing a creature we have never seen before? Why does that creature matter? And why, and also, the Harry Potter Jr. doesn't even do it. creature we have never seen before. Why does that creature matter? Why and why? And also the Harry Potter Jr. doesn't even do it.

He's not the hero. Taurok is the one that ends up killing the bad guy. And isn't the bad guy created by Taurok? Correct. Yeah, Taurok to be clear so that people understand, Taurok has a magic ring and the magic ring has a needle in it. And when Taurok, if you're wondering, dear listener,

if Sonny Bono is in this movie and we have yet to mention it, well, guess what? Sonny Bono is in this movie. Do you even know who Sonny Bono is, young listener? Oh, my gosh. I got you, babe. Oh, Sonny Bono gives, to me, the best performance. When he's talking about I'm a swinger. Well, let me give it to you straight, Harry boy. You see, I am a single, unattached guy, and I live upstairs, right above you. Now, I'm into swinging, and children having pillow fights

at all hours of the night while I'm trying to score may cause a few strikeouts. You get me, Harry boy? I'm a swinger, and I'm trying to score. What a nut. Um, but when Turok stabs Sonny Bono with his ring needle, right? He's got a ring, it's got a needle. He stabs Sonny Bono with it like a poison ring or something. Sonny Bono turns into a cocoon.

First, he goes into Weird Al Yankovic movie, uh, parody song that is like, what's the... Is it fat? Is it the Michael Jackson? Is it fat? Oh, yes, yes, yes, right, right, right. Where his face is all big. He turns into that first, and then he turns into a... He gets all bubbly, turns into a cocoon,

and then the cocoon explodes into baby trolls, baby creatures from the Black Lagoon. Like, a ton of stuff poured out of the cocoon, and then the cocoon explodes into baby trolls, baby creatures from the Black Lagoon. Like, a ton of stuff pours out of the cocoon. He is impregnated, like, by forestry. His body opens up, and at first, it's just... It's just vines. Eventually, we find the little creatures in his body, and we are killing this man,

and he's the only one that seemingly has done anything weird or wrong. I mean, he's a swinger. Nothing wrong with that. I'm not trying to yuck. Nothing to yuck. You're young. I mean, it doesn't seem like he's that attentive to a woman's needs. He's bad at it. He's bad at it. The woman who's leaving the apartment was like, that wasn't good. But he says he's a swinger. I hated that scene. But like, I don't, that's not how I understand swinging to be. Don't you have to be in some sort of a couple to swing?

I don't think he means swinger the way we interpret it in modern day. I think he's like a swinging single. Like, in this is the 80s, I think he's a swinger, meaning like, I'm scoring out here. I don't think he means I'm part of the quote unquote lifestyle. Okay, because I will say, I've never seen an actress play a disgust with herself. I don't think he means I'm part of the quote unquote lifestyle. Okay, because I will say, I've never seen an actress play a disgust with herself

and with the man that she's with better than that actress. I mean, when... That woman deserves an Oscar. When she is walking down... And thank God she got out of there. Yes, when she walks down those stairs past our little girl as Turok, I am, I feel for her.

I'm like, oh, she's gotta walk in the street with that red dress on. What just happened? But at least she didn't get turned into a cocoon that explodes into tiny creatures from the Black Lagoon. I mean, this movie should really just be a slasher movie, right? Turok goes and kills everyone in the different apartments.

It's a serial killer movie. And then they have to kill Turok. Or set it up at the beginning. June Lockhart's thing is that, OK, he's trying to turn every apartment into a different fairy realm or whatever. If he completes every apartment, then all hope is lost. But by the way, why?

And so as each apartment falls, at least we know what the, at least we know what's happening. Right. I mean, it's like, is the apartment on a hell mouth? It's like, why does he need to get every apartment? You would think that. Like, what? Yeah, why? We never, ah, boy, you know what I would have loved

and will be never, of course not, a flashback. A flashback to you. We don't need a flashback when we have those beautiful drawings. Those beautiful gothic drawings. These look like drawings that my children make in like a kindergarten. It is. Those are good artists.

They are sick. They are clearly they were, they like, hey, we need a bunch of gothic drawings here. And they're in Rome. They figure they can get somebody. And these are terrible. These are terrible drawings. I mean, they are bizarre.

Here's what I didn't like. I did not like that Malcolm agreed to go on like a dinner playdate with that seven year old. Like invited to dinner by a child and shows up with a bottle of wine like it's to catch a predator. I was like, what is happening? I know it's a little bit of convenient misdirect so that we don't think that's who it is or something.

By the way, Malcolm is the actor who also is playing Turok. He is the man in the troll costume. That is just a, so he's a twofer. The actor is playing two roles. And it is, I think there is something here that is bizarre because when you're talking about great performances, I do wanna call out that Malcolm's performance, when he basically tells the little girl that he's dying,

that he is very sick, unexpected, and very like. That monologue, Malcolm's monologue was very well done. And he talks about having to join the circus, you know? I was, I was moved. I just didn't quite understand. Like, Malcolm was the only one. He did say, correct me if I'm wrong, that he wanted to be an elf. And our troll did turn him into an elf.

Yeah, but my assumption is at the end of the movie, all of that magic has been reversed. I think so. We would've loved to have seen them all at the end. I mean, we don't know. Because in my opinion, maybe all those people are dead. Or maybe this is where, you know... Like, are the police walking into a building

full of dead bodies? I mean, and by the way, why wouldn't let that family escape because they would be the number one suspects. If there's nothing left there, be like, oh, this girl killed all these people. They're also like loading their stuff into the thing. The police, there are two policemen there and they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, just drive on down there.

You'll find the police station. You can file a police report there. Wait a minute. Hold on. There's only two, only two, like, uniformed officers are at the site of multiple homicides where people saw, like, a monstrous plant growing out of the roof of the tree. And then two police officers are like,

yeah, yeah, you can go down there and fill out a police report. It's San Francisco, man. They don't care. It's lawless. Lawless. That's not San Francisco. That is used to be a great city. Now it's a trash heap because of the munchies. These are munchies, by the way, all these creatures.

This is like the this is San Francisco. It's rotten with trolls. They're full of nymphs. And they're gonna kick your balls. They're taking over our little girls' bodies. Beautiful little girls. Gorgeous girls. They're possessed by adult trolls.

Tiny little creatures from the Black Lagoon are running around. I don't want any of those little mushroom people telling me what to do. Um, the... They think I'm weird, but it's weird when a little mushroom talks to you. I'm just saying. I'm not listening to the mushrooms.

I have a lot of mushroom friends, but I would not thought... Who would have thought it would take us this long to get to a Trump impression? Ha-ha-ha-ha! How did this get me? How did this get me? My favorite thing was... Sorry, my favorite thing was when Brad Hall... Julia Louis-Dreyfus is his real life husband. Brad Hall plays her husband, or her boyfriend is.

Is this where they met, by the way? Do we have this movie today? No, they met in college. They met in college. This is the only film they ever did together. They were dating for about a year when they were asked to go to Rome. And actually, this is Julia Louise Dreyfus explaining it on The Tonight Show.

This was back in like 1981 or 82, maybe, 82. And we got offered this job, this, it was like a Dino De Laurentiis film, okay? And they were gonna fly us to Rome. Now, by the way, we didn't have a penny to our names. To go to Rome, you know, and they would pay for it and then we would shoot this movie. Okay, this movie is called, why am I promoting this film?

No, it's a good thing. This movie is called Troll. Right, right. And it is the best moment of my life, should I say that? No. What else am I supposed to tell you? To compliment, you look exactly the same as you did in the movie.

Yeah, and to reiterate, you're an ass. Oh, no. Just kidding. My favorite scene, though, is when he shows up to pick her up, but she's already been transformed into a name for a wood fairy or whatever she's already been transformed into a nymph or a wood fairy or whatever she's been turned into. And he's just knocking on the door and Malcolm comes up and they're talking and he's like, yeah, I came over to pick her up because we

were supposed to go play some volleyball. Yeah, that's their date, the volleyball date. I have a question. I was like, only in the 80s is our people making volleyball dates. I know. I mean, I have, listen, both of my parents like played intramural sports in the 80s are people making volleyball dates. I know. I mean, listen, both of my parents played intramural sports in the 80s. I miss that, you know? It was done. It was done. I do wanna just go back to one more detail

about Julia Louise Dreyfus' apartment because it really jumped out at me. There's a lot of weird flats in these apartments. It is a big square and they put these walls in that make no difference. Julia Louise Dreyfus has a sectional couch that is completely separated every section. So much so that one of the walls,

like a part of it is against the wall and then the wall ends and then the couch is like spaced out from it. Like I was obsessed with this. I wanna kind of just- I know exactly. I missed it. I watched it too.

Take a look at this cause I just want you to see it and if, like there it is. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like- This was done though.

I remember this vibe of like sectionals don't necessarily need to be together. It's the eighties. Yes, split up. But why would you leave such a little path? It's not like you're gonna cut through. I think to walk in. I think to walk, to cut between from the doorway. It's so tiny though.

It's probably for honest to God, honestly, it's probably because a cameraman needed to walk through there during the show. I loved that in that apartment, in JLD's apartment, there, when you first that in that apartment, in JLD's apartment, when you first walk into that apartment, there is a giant photograph of pointe ballet shoes. I mean, her apartment is-

Not since, look, basket on the back of the door, was that, look who's talking to? Yeah. Have I felt as though the interiors of all of these locations deserved complete analysis? Or the one recently with the... What was the lion's head on the wall? The knitted lion's head on the wall?

Oh, that was Samurai Cop. Samurai Cop. Like, the interiors here had some true nuts level stuff. That's right. And they were so full of things. You know, I just wanted to look. Oh, they emptied out multiple thrift stores to do this in Rome to make this look perfect. I believe in Julia's apartment, there is also a nativity scene on the coffee table.

And then, oh, actually, I'm looking a little bit closer now. It is a nativity scene-ish, but it's all peacocks, ceramic peacocks surrounding baby peacocks. Her apartment, when she becomes a nymph, now she is transformed into what I would argue, like every creature looks like a munchie. From that movie we did munchies. They basically are puppets that are wet down to look as slimy and gross as humanly possible.

But yet she turns into like a beauty. A sex nymph. Well, cause she's a woman. She's like a sexy wood nymph or something like that. Yeah. But I mean I would- And not only that, but there are multiples. Yeah, there's a bunch of, a bunch of nymphs running around.

So, so this is the thing. And that's why I was like, so I believe TORAK created those nymphs for himself, you know, and, and that the other, I believe Taurak created those nymphs for himself, you know, and that the other trolls are just sort of pals. And that's why I'm so fascinated by his one, Taurak's one, I guess, aside from the ending, but benevolent deed, which was to turn Malcolm

into exactly what he wanted to be. which was to turn Malcolm into exactly what he wanted to be. I wish I could understand because I agree with you, but to me, this is based solely on June Lockhart's exposition dump, that he, each apartment represents a different magical realm. Yes, but I still don't understand why her... So you're saying someone else could have been turned into a nymph? Right.

Yes, I do think someone else could have been. Like, he needed to have the nymph realm, he needed to have the other realm, like he needed to have four realms to then take over the Earth. But you're right, it's curious that the nymph realm is just Julia Louis-Dreyfus without clothes on versus every other realm is like, uh, googly eyes on a lump of dog shit. And this is the, and this is what it is. Like, what are we... Like, some of the trolls have, like, little troll bodies, but like spider legs or lobster legs or something.

And June Lockhart was turned into a planter. A tree stump. Oh, a stump? She's turned into a sentient stump? It looks like... It does look like a weird ver... It looks like, it does look like a weird, it looks like you are a Sid and Marty Croft puppeteer and you're like, ah, fuck, I can't,

you know, I'm gonna start over. But then when she comes back at the end of the movie, at the end of the movie, she is the only resident that we do see alive, except that she's alive in her young form. Right, she has been broken free, but like, so has she been waiting? I mean, again, so why did she be young? Because was she cursed to be old?

She implies earlier in the movie that she might not be around for long. Like, she thinks this next great battle is the battle she stayed alive for. Everybody in this apartment is on their way out. For real. I mean, for real. She also references Hiroshima. Then I was like, what?

She's like, remember Hiroshima? Well, because it happened on a weekend. Oh my God. So that's, this movie takes place, by the way, important to note, within 48 hours. They move in on a Friday evening and they are gone by Sunday. I think that's right. And they settle in pretty quickly. The move in pretty quickly. The move-in seems insane. Can you imagine being that unpacked

and that moved in within 48 hours? I mean, I still have boxes from over a decade ago. Sometimes you gotta leave those boxes in the garage. I still have records that are unpacked. What's going on? I mean, and they go, oh, well, you know, he even says, oh, the apartment fairies helped us unpack. Okay, like, why do we even need, like, why do we even need to go in all these?

In a movie in which there are real fairies, don't suggest that there are apartment fairies because those are actually upstairs. I do wanna ask about another thing, which is Malcolm the friend, Malcolm who, I have a couple of questions about Malcolm, but Malcolm who is dying, who is very sick, who befriends a girl, brings over a bottle of wine, they kind of force him to read one

of his poems at dinner. A gentle night was riding across the plain, all clad in mighty arms and silver shield. Where in old dints and deep wounds did remain the cruel marks of many a bloody field. Yet armies till that time did he never wield. And it's not a romantic poem at all, but the husband and wife hold hands like reminds us, reminds me of each other. It's like, well, you shouldn't. This is not a... This is not a... This is not that kind of a thing. Not only that, but it felt like, okay, so... So, Malcolm is there, he's a professor,

he's gonna... He recites this poem, The Fairy Queen, right? What's wild about it is the little girl, the troll has requested it. The troll has specifically requested it in a scene we didn't see, where the troll in the little girl's body... Ha ha ha ha...

...invites a grown man over for dinner, an adult man over for dinner, to then ask him to recite the fairy queen poem, which appears to somehow activate everything. The reading of the poem then leads into the singing of the song, which we are intercutting between him. Yes, this was the wildest part.

The wildest thing. The song. Intercutting between him reading the poem and saying these lines, but then all the other trolls and the things that the cocoons have given birth to start to sing a song in unison with the poem. His angry steed, the child is foaming bitter. Dempas, he and the next, it's a very odd time.

Dorgs, we're coming away, we love our time. And this was the part where I was like, what the fuck is happening in this movie? This song is nuts. Is this evoking something? Is he conjuring something? Is the troll, is the troll's plan to get Malcolm to say these words to do this, like, does the reading of the poem have meaning?

Or is the troll just a fan of this poem and wanted it read? Because this poem is not like, this is, we are supposed to believe that this is an original poem. It's not him, he's not a, he didn't study it. Oh, oh, he poe. No, no, I think it's meant to be a famous poe. A known poe, the fairy queen.

I don't know, Jason, because he has a conversation with Harry Potter senior there about writing. Oh, yes, yes. And how I thought that they were both writers and that this was him sharing some of his own original work. I don't know. There is something called The Fairy Queen by Edmund Spencer.

OK. OK. I don't know. It appears to be a poem, but I don't know. Maybe it's not. I mean, but that's what I thought it was. I thought it was like because he's a professor, like this was something that he knew from work and that,

but that had meaning for the troll in his plan. But that's maybe doing too much work for the movie. This is where I feel like this movie is completely confused about what it is. Is it a kids movie? Is it a horror movie? Because it has elements that are like fairies and this is an ancient battle and we're telling a story, but then there's like this straight up like crazy, crazy effects and murder, and it's like,

I think supposed to be like a horror film, but we just don't know, and we're kind of like, touching on that, touching on this, and it keeps me completely confused because I'm waiting. Well, either of you were watching this, did the boys see it at all? Like, did this pique their curiosity? June showed it this morning to our oldest son, yes. And?

He was, we enjoyed it. Enjoyed it, okay. Enjoyed it. I was curious because it looks so, frankly, it looks so kind of janky. Yeah, but the first transition, the first troll larva transition, he was like, oh, whoa, ew!

Oh, cool, okay. Like, he was super, oh, whoa, ew. Oh, cool, okay. Like he was super into every time they got back. Like the practical effects of it. Seeing the practical, yeah. I mean, it definitely feels like American Werewolf in London, like the dime store version of American Werewolf. Like it's actually pretty cool.

It also feels to me like what you were saying before, Paul, with what was the, did we do ghoulies or munchies? Munchies, ghoulies, chud, all that era of movies that were not quite Gremlins or ET, not quite like a really, like you invest in like a puppet. These are really, these seem really like they are actively melting or are made of slop. Yeah, these- Well, I'll say though, I did think that These seem really like they are actively melting or are made of slop. Yeah.

I was gonna say though, I did think that the troll himself, Turok, Oh, great. looked great and he's walking around. That's not a puppet. That's a person in a suit, which I thought was great. I forgot about that.

Okay, well, I do wanna, and I'm trying to be as, I wanna try to be as, I want to try to be as, like, you know, saying, using the right terminology, but is it the right thing to do? Like, again, Malcolm is, you know, Malcolm is a little person. And that is, I think, an important part here,

because, you know, when Brad Hall comes to take, to take Julie with Travis to their volleyball date, Brad Hall gets down on his knees to have a conversation with him. And I was like, huh, never. That's just the way you're supposed to. Is that the way you're supposed to? Is that?

Oh, for sure not. The reaction everybody has in this movie to Malcolm the little person is absolutely disgusting. I mean, children, I guess you could give some, you know, they have a little bit of a longer leash of trying to understand his body fine. The adults in this movie behave importantly. Are just like the kids.

Yes, worse, worse. Worse, worse, you're right, worse. The Potter couple, they look at him and are so shocked for so long. It's not okay. No, I agree. Yeah. It is, and it's the case for everybody.

Yes. Everybody is, everybody acts like an insane person around him. Not only just seen a little person before, but they never knew a little person could exist. But it's also, I'm gonna say the movie is also not helping itself by letting him be friends with a child. That to me is what I'm reading from the parents' reaction. Like, why is this adult man coming over with a bottle of wine

to have a date with, like, this is, like, the daughter introduces him reaction, like, why is this adult man coming over with a bottle of wine to have a date with, like, this is, the daughter introduces him as like, this is my friend. That's not even how I read their reaction. I read their reaction as simply ableist and like shocked that, you know, that there was a little person here, not the appropriate reaction,

which is why is a grown man here. I think both are true because I think the presence not the appropriate reaction, which is why is a grown man here? I think both are true because I think the presence of her glass of milk connotes that she thinks a child is coming over, you know? And that the dissonance is, oh, this is a man, but that it is someone who is a little person. And I think that all of these things are present,

but the movie is not helping itself by making any choices. It's just allowing everybody to behave poorly, except for the kids, you know? I mean, and the kid isn't even a kid because the kid is a troll. Now look. Except for Harry Potter Jr. who I will say our son, our 10 year old son, really connected to.

He loved him. I mean, let's- HPJ? Yeah. Harry Potter Jr. is the only person here that I trust. Besides the fact that he decides to vomit in a stranger's apartment, every other choice that he makes is pretty much on the level. He, I believe is the kid from Never Ending Story.

I believe that that's- Oh really? Yeah, I think he's the same kid. Oh my. Is that before or after this? Really, I love that movie. Before this. That's before.

I think he got this. He's younger. No, no, no, he's younger in Never Ending Story. Yeah, so that's what I'm saying, Neverending Story before this. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he makes all the right choices. He makes the informed choices, because literally there are parts where the parents say, she's acting weird, what's up with our daughter?

And then the son comes in and he goes, she's acting weird. And they're like, oh, calm down. Like, well, you just- Remember when the little girl picks him up and throws him across the room? And then they're like, oh, calm down. Like, well, you just, remember when the little girl picks him up

and throws him across the room like a rag doll. And the parents are like, what's going on? And he's like, nothing. He's no, he doesn't, I tripped. He's already in the abuse. He's already an abused man. He's like, I tripped, I tripped, I tripped. Obviously we had opinions about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion.

It is now time for second opinions. U-R-A-T-A-Y! U-R-A-T-A-Y! U-R-A-T-A-Y! U-R-A-T-A-Y! U-R-A-T-A-Y! U-R-A-T-A-Y! The movie was a piece of shit, yet this person recommends it.

Tell me, what is the message. Maybe that art is subjective. I need a second opinion. Thank you, John LeJoy. It has been a long time since we've heard that and, uh, what a film to come back on. There are 369 total reviews of Troll, the 1986 film Troll.

68% are five-star reviews. Wow. And they're all perfectly bizarre. And I know that this is what we do on the show, but these reviews, they all have something that make me go, huh. And we'll start with Candace. Oh, so this is a little segment called Things That Make You Go Huh. These reviews, they all have something that make me go, huh, and we'll start with Candace.

Oh, so this is a little segment called Things That Make You Go Huh. Things that make you, hmm. Things that make you go, hmm. Things that make you, hmm. Yeah. Oh, I thought that'd be a good song too. All right, well anyway, Candace in 2015,

titles her review Childhood Movie, and writes this, "'I watched this when I was a toddler. It's a cool movie for that time.' Five stars." Wait a minute. What years are toddler years? Because that seems wrong.

Toddlers considered, well, as soon as you start walking, so one, because you're toddling. You're not a baby anymore when you're walking. So it's like one to two, half, three? Oh, two, okay. I mean, according to the internet, a toddler is between one and three years old. So I mean, at that point, this is not a movie to be showing a. So I mean, at that point,

this is not a movie to be showing a toddler. I mean, some would argue you shouldn't even be putting that many screens in front of them at all. But if this is the formative film, it's like, we didn't watch Sesame Street, we watched Troll. Also, how are you remembering your toddler years? I know, my son didn't even remember watching. Well, maybe if your toddler years were full of traumatic viewings like this.

I guess so. This is the only way you'd remember them. Jesus Christ. Like, what was the difference between why did the ring have green glowing light and then also the needle? The ring did so much and never got explained. It also zaps people away. Yes. There's also the troll also can be invisible at times, but sometimes has to scurry and hide behind plants. Like why not just be invisible all the time?

That's right. And sometimes when he pokes his little head out and I'm like, wait, can other people see you now as troll? Yep. Who knows? I mean, he's doing David Copperfield level magic. He runs behind a bar and then pops up on the other side of the room.

It's like, I don't understand that, Matt. I, and the teleportation. Especially when he's in troll form. Yeah. Troll form is, it's not mobile very. It's like he's lumbering. I will say that there is a funny story I read about the actor Malcolm, who was also the troll.

They sent him out and can, in that costume to run around and scare people to pass out flyers for a troll. And June, I love your face reacting to this, just utter shock. And they also paired him up with another circus performer who was about the same size, who passed out from the heat exhaustion from being in one of those costumes, running around.

You don't have one of your lead actors doing like street marketing. For a movie. For, and can. You know, look, this is it, that's the time. That being said, I will be out on Hollywood Boulevard dressed as the artisan from the movie Infinite. If you want, I will chase you around.

It's pretty cool. I will also be at airports reprising my role from the Twisters. You know, you can get a photo with me. I'll also be at airports reprising my role from Twisters. You know, you can get a photo with me. All right, so in 2003, just an Amazon customer writes a review titled, Where Do I Start?

Well, 2003. Oh yeah, these are, I mean, the last one was in 2015. When I was three years old, my father first showed me this horror movie. Again, a toddler. What is up with, why are so many of these reviews from people who watched it as a literal infant? One to three.

It freaked me out royally, you think? I wouldn't go into my basement for five years, but as I grew older and less scared, I forgot about the movie. Then last night when we were at Blockbuster, I found it and rented it. It's a very good B horror movie. Rent this movie if you like a good freak.

BOTH LAUGH Again, young movie. What the fuck is this? I don't think this movie is about this. I guess maybe it is about the starting of the world. Tarot Queen, Tarot Queen or Tarot Queen. Tarot, Tarot probably. Yes, sorry, sorry.

Nah, I think it's Tarot. Tarot like, like Tarot? Yep, Tarot Queen, Tarot Queen. Tarot Queen writes this. You want me to read your Tarot cards? If a troll like that were in my apartment, I would just shoot it and call it a day. Five star.

You can't shoot it. Someone tried. Yeah. We haven't talked about that guy at all. He was a real character. I would never buy insurance from him. He seems like he's still a military man. Like not that I wouldn't buy from a military man,

but he seems like he's still actively in the military. I mean, when he is. He's not well. I mean, he's not a well man. He's like truly like he's still actively in the military. I mean, when he is- He's not well. I mean, he's not a well man. He's like truly, he's been ravaged by war. The fact that his apartment is completely decked out like a war room.

Like it looks like, it looks like when you walk into that room- With like trophies, animal hides, it's like, you know. It looks like a base camp tent in a movie where they're like, let's go talk to the Colonel, you know, and then they go- But you would think, that's a good example of Colonel. You know, and then they go to... But you would think, that's a good example of, you would think that character's existence would mean, and he does try and fight back,

but there would be more of a, it's a battle between the guy with the guns and the this and the ba-ba-ba-ba, and there's a little bit of that, but nobody really ever fights the troll effectively. Even June Lockhart, who's waited, I'm gonna guess, hundreds of years to just for just this moment.

Or was she frozen in that age? That's another question I have. Because she's an old woman who then transforms back into her younger self in between. Can I ask this? Does she always transform into her younger self when she lets her hair down? So can she do that at will?

Hair up, old lady, hair down, young hottie? Well, now that you're talking about it. You know, like, how does this work? Old hottie, young hottie? Is the young girl, Wendy, Anne, like a vessel for her because she's blonde and Wendy's blonde and she needs like, he needs a blonde. Wouldn't that be interesting? But no, it's not because she's blonde and Wendy's blonde and she needs like, he needs a blonde. WONDERWOOD. Wouldn't that be interesting?

But no, it's not because she just walks away from, at the very end of the movie, Eunice St. Clair, now in her youthful form, walks the streets of, quote unquote, San Francisco, like with a wink, like, I'll see you around, gah-blah-blah-blah, you know, and I'm like, what is this? PILGRIM. A mushroom in her backpack. WONDERWOOD. Oh my God. I mean, I don't know, blah, blah, you know? And I'm like, what is this? And a mushroom in her backpack. Oh my God.

I mean, I don't know. There is one, I did laugh when the troll said to JLD, beauty fades, she was seeing me laugh coming out of a young girl's mouth. But I do wonder because the troll said that if he did put some sort of a spell on her to make her look older, although I have to say, what a gorgeous older woman. I couldn't take my eyes off of her as an older woman. I wrote it in my notes when Harry Potter Jr. first meets

her, and he comes into her apartment, and she's like, you can come in any time you want. The door's always unlocked. You come right on in. I was like, are they going to fuck? I was like, you can come in any time you want. The door's always unlocked. You come right on in. I was like, are they gonna fuck? Like, I was like, this setup is straight. There's more sexual tension between Harry Potter Jr. and the old lady, Eunice Sinclair,

than anybody else in the movie. Absolutely. And I'm rooting for it in a May-December way. I... No? I shouldn't be rooting for that? I mean, I... This is a crazy thing to say. Across the board, the acting in this movie,

pretty fucking solid. Like, they... Oh, it's all good people. That's the thing is, it's all good people, for the most part. And I really liked her, and the fact that she could carry that much exposition, and I kind of understand it.

I mean, she did to the best of her ability. She is touching a page that has no discernible, real writing on it and going, this is what happened. And here's what happened. I was like, okay, I'm on board. I was impressed. I was- Everybody's making choices. That's right.

Looking good while doing it. Not always looking good, but they're making choices, which I enjoyed. So this final review, written in 2021. The reviewer's name is Rot tomato, uh, slash Demetrius writes this. And you have to help me break this down. A great example of Hollywood demonizing conservatism without us. You have no freedom.

You'd be like the English, laughing my ass off. Five stars. Don't know what that means. I don't know. Who are the conservatives in this? Like are the trolls? I don't know. I mean, I don't know.

Are the trolls trying to like- Is it because Sonny Bono was a Republican Senator? Or was it like the fact that like, here's a point of view. Later, he was later a Republican Senator. The trolls, that is odd. The trolls were trying, the trolls couldn't agree to sharing the land. They needed to fight to own all the land.

So maybe this idea of like, hey, let everybody have their own land and not worry about taking it over. Maybe that's the theory that they're talking about. Like, hey, like we don't have to, we don't have to take it over. You do your thing, fairies, trolls, and nymphs, and we'll do our thing over here,

but they got greedy. They got some greedy. You know what's interesting? This is a perfect example of people finding their own point of view inside of their own, whatever story this person, Rotten Tomato Demetrius is telling themselves, they're finding it everywhere.

They are finding, they are like, they're putting their thing, their agenda, their whatever it is into the movie Troll, as if it's also about what they're thinking about. You know? Because I can't think of anything in this movie that follows, that echoes what he's suggesting. You know?

None of this feels, if anything, the Trolls, who are the demons, are building a new Eden. You know, they could be climate warriors. You know, they could be climate warriors. You know, they could be getting us back to- Right, they could be like, let's bring it back to the, yeah, just a natural world. Now I do- I don't know, like, I don't think of any,

I don't think of the trolls as establishing conservative beliefs. I do wanna reveal one thing to you. I didn't wanna tell you this early on. Okay, hold on. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Paul. But there is, I do, I just remembered, there is the one scene where the troll says,

trickle down economics. Oh, that is true, yes. Which is a hallmark of conservative policy at the time. -♪ TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMICS. -♪- And then the spit comes out of the mouth. Um, couple things, I didn't want to tell you this because I thought your guesses were pretty good. We talked about the bucket hat, right?

There is a story about the bucket hat. Does it have to do with Michael Moriarty's hairline? Well, no. Michael Moriarty complained to the director, he said, I don't understand my character. And so the director took a bucket hat off of the first AD's head and put it on Michael Moriarty's head. And Michael Moriarty said, I look ridiculous.

And then goes, Harry Potter is ridiculous. And with that, he understood the character. Whoa. What? What are you talking about? Oh, that's great. Okay, the other part of this thing. And that, by the way, not for nothing, that does help us make sense of the dancing scene.

That does help us make sense of many of the other scenes. Why his choices feel bananas is because he clearly had some sort of epiphany with the bucket hat that informed everything else. So he was working outside in. It all comes from externals. It all comes. It's from the bucket.

It's... It starts from the hat. Yes. You know, some people say it starts from the bucket. It starts from the hat. Yes. You know, some people say it starts with the shoes. I need to understand how my character stands on the earth. It's the bucket hat trickle down theory. Top down.

The bucket hat. Trickle down character nomics. Thank God. Thank God the first AD was wearing a hat because that is it. Now here is the other thing that I thought was interesting. This song that was sung in the film, or this is gonna be a big set piece

where all the characters sang this giant production number, a big musical number in the film. It's called Cantos Profane, otherwise known as the Troll Song. And basically the puppets were so low budget that they couldn't move their mouths. So they just had to grunt along with the song. So the song is over head while the puppets go.

Grrr. Well, that was the thing. Like the puppets mouths really did not move, Grrr. Grrr. Well, that was the thing. Like the puppets mouths really did not move. No. Including the trolls. No. You know?

So it really, that really severely limited how much you could invest in the characters because you know, I really couldn't hear them speak with their own voices. I will say this. It was written by the same guy who wrote, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, Honey, I Blew Up the Kids,

and Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, the TV show, and Chud 2, Bud the Chud. Now, Bud the Chud? Bud the Chud. Wait, have we done Chud 1? No, maybe we should. Maybe we should. Cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers

is what Chud stands for, I remember. I'm all into, by the way, great memory there. And then the tagline of this movie, which I really liked, was Apartment for Rent,, inquire within. How did you know? I mean, like that's not at all suggestive of the movie's like plot even remotely.

It's not, there's not a double meaning to that. That is actually just a sign that would be hanging outside of a building in the 1980s. Within the little girl, the troll. Apartment for rent, inquire within. That is just, that's just a sign. You know, like that's not, that's not a play on any of those words, right?

No, I mean, it isn't, but it's, if you say it like, inquire within. And then, and then the other one was, worlds of wonder, worlds of mystery, worlds of fear, these worlds are the kingdom of troll. What? Those two taglines are a lesson in extremes. Yeah. One is a nothing, and one is so much

as to be utterly confounding. Now, here is the thing that's gonna surprise you both. This had a budget of $700,000. It made $5.5 million. Now, because of that, this movie came out in 1986, the year of Top Gun, Crocodile Dundee, and Karate Kid Part II. But with that kind of a budget, it beat films that we've done on the show, Solar Babies, The Wrath, Rad,

Shanghai Surprise, No Retreat, No Surrender, and Chopping Mall, Never Too Young to Die, and Babes in Toyland. Now, Paul, I'm pretty sure we've never done No Retreat, No Surrender, right? pretty sure we've never done no retreat, no surrender, right? No, we did. We did? Yeah.

Oh, it's the lost episode that they'll never hear. Yes. Yes. Oh. Ha ha ha. Eat shit. You guys never get to hear it. Oh, my gosh.

We'll do it again. We'll do it again. We said we forgot enough of that. No, we won't do it again. Unique experience. Interesting. So I guess I understand why there's more of them, why there's many more of them, in fact,

because that, like, that's a, by the way, that's a huge success. Yeah, I am. And is that just the market in the mid-'80s for low-budget slasher movies is people are gonna go. But this is not a low-budget slasher movie. Like, I don't think we've landed on the genre of this movie. I think it's true,

cause I don't think it's a kids movie at all, Paul, which you've mentioned a number of times. I don't think it's like chasing the Gremlins or the ET crowd. I think it's more towards the chuds and the ghoulies and the horror movie side of things. I think it's walking a line between both and doesn't exactly know what it is.

What's it rated? It is rated PG. Oh, oh, then it is a kid's movie. Yeah, I think by having the kid in there, and it's not overly graphic, it is a kid's story. I feel like the- I guess it's not as scary as A Poltergeist. Not at all.

I mean, it's not scary. I was scared. Pfft. I got... Guys, I got scared. I got so scared. I mean, look, that's what I'm saying. It kind of, it's like, is it campy? Is it a kids' movie? Is it a horror?

Yes to all of those. Because it's not, uh... Yeah. Pfft. I don't know. I don't know. But... It's a kind of movie that I also, as I was approaching the very end of it, I felt, because I kept thinking,

as kind of what we've talked about, I kept thinking like, oh, stuff's gonna be explained. I'm gonna find out. Stuff will. And then we did get some explanation from Una St. Clair. But then nothing else. So much from Una St. Clair, but then nothing else.

So much so that at the very end, I was like, did they win? How did they win? Who won? What's even winning? What's the victory? What is it? Does that mean everybody comes back?

Everybody goes away? What has happened here? What are we to assume has happened? And that the final shots, you know, are the policemen going into the apartment building and looking around, they assume nothing has happened and that the final shots, you know, are the policemen going into the apartment building and looking around. They assume nothing has happened because there is no evidence of anything happened. And then they open one door.

Inside the door is like a pastoral field. The cop gets sucked into it and the ring comes into view and it's like, uh-oh, the troll is still here. Okay, so what has happened? Or is the troll still there or is just the universe been opened and there's like, uh-oh, the troll is still here. Okay, so what has happened? Or is the troll still there, or has just the universe been opened and there's a hole in the universe that someone's got to close? Or was it always open?

So is this a Hellmouth? Is this a thin separation between the fantasy world and the real world exists on the site of this San Francisco apartment building? That's what we're assuming? I mean, do we? Listen. I mean, look, this is why we need a sequel, but the sequel we got was not the sequel that we need

because it didn't really expand the mythology. It just kind of went off in a different direction. Now look, with all that being said, what I recommend it, you bet, I love this movie. I've enjoyed every moment of it, even though I didn't know what I was watching. And, you know, I love this movie. I've enjoyed every moment of it, even though I didn't know what I was watching. And, you know, I was okay with that.

The perpetual question marks that are brought up by this movie are fun. They're, it's fun to be confused. Every turn was like a left-hand turn that I was like, okay, wait, what now? Yeah. And that way, I thought that was fun to watch, even though it was infuriating

that it wasn't making sense to me. June? I totally agree. Wait, what now? Yeah. And I thought that was fun to watch, even though it was infuriating that it wasn't making sense to me. June? I totally agree. I enjoyed watching this movie. All right. Wow. Well, here we go. Wow. So I guess we're gonna do about,

so I guess we're doing the fall of Trolls. I mean, we're- A Troll, Autumn Troll, or Troll Coming? This is it, Troll Coming, Back to Troll. We will figure it out, but we will be doing Troll 2 soon. So be on the lookout for that as well. We got it, now we've opened up the door and I think we've opened up the door to Chud as well.

So there's so many creature movies. And Ghoulies. Did we do Ghoulies or Critters? We haven't done any of those. I mean, this is it, This is the Gremlins. Oh, we only did munchies. That's what we're in a post-Gremlins world. Yeah. So this is it.

Anyway. Wow. What a blast. You're welcome everybody. You're welcome. Enjoy it. Troll one, a very underappreciated film. Cause I think a lot of people give a lot of love to Troll 2.

Thank you for calling it a film. Yes. This is a real film. Thank you. Cause this is film. This is art. This is not a movie. This is an Italian film. Thank you, because this is film. This is art. This is not a movie. This is an Italian film.

This is film. This is film. Cover it on Unspooled. We should, we should have. All right, Jason and June, thank you so much. That's it for Troll. Troll 2 will be coming in just a little bit, but guess what?

If you wanna see us live, and we're gonna be out live a bunch in the next couple of months, you can check us out at Largo in October and November. You can also check us in New York in November, and following our How Did This Get Made show in New York, Jason and I will be joined by Nicole Byer, Carl Tartt, Lisa Gilroy, Rob Hubel, and more.

That's right, some How Did This Get Made all-stars for live improv. That's right, D How Did This Get Made All Stars for live improv. That's right, Dinosaur Improv is coming to Boston, DC and Brooklyn. Go to howdidthisgetmade.com for tickets. It is going to be a blast. We've been doing these live shows and they are awesome. My book, Joyful Recollections of Trauma is available

wherever you get your books, your audio books. If you have Spotify, You can listen to it there You have audible you can listen to it there. And if you like the book, I really appreciate all the wonderful reviews So keep on reviewing the book. It has been a blast But here's the thing people there might have been things in this episode that we did not get to things that you want to correct This on well, guess what? Leave me a voicemail at 619 paul Well, guess what? Leave me a voicemail at 619-P-A-U-L-A-S-K. That's 619-Paul-ASK.

And tell me what we might've missed. Or if you're a little shy, just go to our Discord at discord.gg slash H-D-T-G-M. And we will talk much more about Troll on our Last Look's follow-up episode to Troll. And then get ready for Troll 2. We'll also have another virtual live show that everyone in the world can watch coming up this December.

I gotta tell you people, it has been such a blast to be doing these shows. We're raising money for MoveOn. And if you're listening to this on September 6th, there's still tickets left for our virtual show tonight. All right, everybody, we'll see you next time. And remember, if you are listening on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, make sure you are subscribed to our feed

and have automatic downloads turned on in the show settings. It helps us and we appreciate it a lot. And last but not least, I gotta thank our entire team who this show could not be done without. I'm talking about our producers, Scott Sonny, Molly Reynolds, and our movie picking producer, Avril Halle, our engineer, Casey Holford, and our associate producer, Jess Cisneros. That's all I got people

we'll see you next time on Last Looks. Bye for now.