How Did This Get Made? - Ultraviolet LIVE! w/ Nick Wiger & Mike Mitchell (HDTGM Matinee)

Episode Date: January 6, 2026

The Doughboys Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell join Paul and Jason to cover the 2006 Milla Jovovich sci-fi action flick Ultraviolet. LIVE from Largo in Los Angeles, they talk about vampire diseases, dreads in a fight, changing hair and outfit color at will, and much more. Plus, the gang go off on a tangent about Josh Gad's inappropriate relationship with Q*bert in the movie Pixels. (Ep. #175 Originally Released 11/10/2017) • Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, FAQs, and more• Have a Last Looks correction or omission? Call 619-PAULASK to leave us a voicemail!• Submit your Last Looks theme song to us here• Join the HDTGM conversation on Discord: discord.gg/hdtgm• Buy merch at howdidthisgetmade.dashery.com/• Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of Trauma• Shop our new hat collection at podswag.com• Paul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheer• Paul’s YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheer• Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer• Subscribe to Enter The Dark Web w/ Paul & Rob Huebel: youtube.com/@enterthedarkweb• Listen to Unspooled with Paul & Amy Nicholson: unspooledpodcast.com• Listen to The Deep Dive with June & Jessica St. Clair: thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcast• Instagram: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & @junediane• Twitter: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & msjunediane  • Jason is not on social media• Episode transcripts available at how-did-this-get-made.simplecast.com/episodesGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

For the first time and how did this get made history, I can honestly say, I'm not sure if this is actually a movie. We saw ultraviolet, so you know what that means. Now it's on the... Dreaming! How did it? Schwarzenegger Grove baby in his belly.

Rock a rindstone vest while ripping just into Kelly. Or maybe see a burlash show with Nick Crow. And take a boat with speed to hitting cruise control. J. Man, Big Paul in the beautiful June. Gonna take you from the goob all the way to the room. Ranned the games in street fight and hope to blow off steam. Just a sucker punch the odd life for Timothy Green. Sharp needle, the bird demic, how we stand a lot.

They call it in the badass, and he's on the line. Cranking 88 minutes because they cool as ice. Because a bad gym, Varnie looking kind and nice. Paul and June getting literal. Jason is getting laid. June is making sure all the monkey shots getting paid. They're just a bunch of movies while they're making the grade. Here's a real question for you, how did this get made?

Hello, people of Earth! And LA, people of Largo. We are live at the Largo at the Corridate Theater in Los Angeles, our L.A. home, and we are so happy to be here at this amazing theater. If you're ever in L.A., please come by, check it out. We may not be here, but there are great shows here all the time. We have a very interesting show. I'm just going to come out and admit it.

I think this is the first Milo Jovovich movie I've ever seen. So maybe you're with me in that camp. Besides dazed and confused, this is. I mean, I'm talking about, like, post-2000 Mila. But to help me dissect this and get to the bottom of it, my co-os, Jason Manzukas! What's up, jerks? Jason.

Jason, how are you? You know, Paul, doing great, doing great. Watch this movie, did not care for it. I felt watching this movie as if I was playing a video game poorly. Like, the points to actually play the game never happened. Like, I didn't, I was missing a couple of buttons. I felt like I was watching, like, one of those Sega CD games. I was like, hey, Corey Hames in it, it's a video game, but not really.

Like, as if one of the buttons I keep pushing just changes her outfit. And that's apparently one of the buttons that works the best. Oh, I think I hit that button again. I will just, I will ask this question because I realized watching it, I just said it. Please, Paul, ask the questions that you want to ask. Have you seen a lot of Milo Jovovich movies? No, I can't say that I have. I've never seen like Resident Evil.

She's in the Fifth Element, right? Right, Fifth Element. Okay. Okay, creeps. There is a lot of like, yeah, yeah. He said the one that I like, because she's almost naked in it. You remember, this is a podcast recording, right?

Creeps. So tonight is how did this get made All-Stars, which means we bring a guest from the past. We also bring a new guest. But tonight, what we're doing is something a little bit different. I will introduce them together only because it is a official podcast crossover episode here right now.

You know these guys as connoisseurs of fine fast food. They are together, the dough boys, but individually, Nick Weiger, Mike Mitchell. Welcome them right now. Welcome. Welcome, gentlemen. Welcome. Nice.

Yeah. But I also know that you guys are, you know, you like nerdy shit and like I do. And this movie is trying for so many things. Right. in that world and it's it's not there

like to me first of all the first thing I did is the minute this movie opens and you see these like almost like a comic book opening I'm like oh is this based on a comic?

Right. It's not. No. Not an adaptation. And also too on the comic book covers I wrote down the very first one this movie came out in 2006

the top, the first comic book cover says, enjoy the amazing Japanimation starring Milo Jovovich. Were people saying Japanimation in 2006? Doesn't it feel like a quaint, like 20th century term? I still use it. Is it bad? And this is not Japanamation. No, it's not.

And nor is it, I believe, based on anything. No, it's based on nothing. The reason why the comic book thing is there. Because I was partially like, did Rob Lai? Phil trick us into this somehow. He there's a great, he goes, the opening credits are a comic book montage

because the director always wanted to make a comic book movie. And that, by the way, is why this movie is on this show, because that mentality is throughout. Like, because you think, like, oh, they're aping some sort of style, like, because it's very blown out

and it's very, like, almost like, it's shitty CGI. Right. Oh, yeah. The shittiest CGI. I've ever seen. I think when you guys are saying like Sega CD, we were talking backstage, it's like, it looks like a cutscene.

Yeah. And I don't know, I don't know if it's intentional. They got, they got the team behind the general TV commercials. But by the way, I would be more on board if the general and Shaq were in this movie. Oh, man. A general Shaq buddy comedy would be like an A plus next to this. And the movie, you know, this movie is, I guess this is what I feel like, too. Like, I'm always like, I want, you know, I don't, why don't need backstory?

I just want to jump in, like, give me this the thing. And then this movie does exactly that. I'm like, whoa, whoa, give me backstory. I need, like, back it up, slow it down. Right. Deal it out a lot slower. Yeah, maybe those scenes where Shield is just like having a conversation in a conference room, aren't that bad because it kind of gives you some context

for the world you're seeing. Yeah, like I just need to understand why a motorcycle can drive on the side of a building and why everything is radioactive? Right. Why is everything radioactive or in the insignia of radioactivity? That I couldn't figure out.

I don't even know who these characters are. There's some that are vampires, some that are not vampires. Right. They're vampires. Are they really vampires? Jason, no. They're not vampires.

They're hemophages. Thank you. But some have teeth. Like vampire teeth. Yes. Right. But she doesn't have vampire teeth. But she does.

But she does. Oh, okay. At 4620 into the movie. Now, Mitch, just to be clear, you keep a Mr. Skin style website that is strictly where vampire teeth appear. In movies, right? I'm a vamp nut. And I'm a vamp nut. I, at 4620, I was like, it's a fucking vampire movie.

I did not know for 46 minutes. I, well, that I wrote that. I wrote, vampire? And Garth, Garth has the, Garth, you see Garth's teeth? And he says vampire. Right. Yes. And it was, it blew my mind.

I had no idea. It was a, I thought it was like a, like a, this is a tale about HIV and how we shouldn't be afraid of people who have AIDS. I truly thought it was. That was an AIDS allegory? That was an AIDS. allegory. They're throwing the blood at each other.

You are mentally putting this in the same category as like Philadelphia. This is like a morality tale. Angels in America. Ultraviolet. And the movie does something like right off the bat, which is such a fuck you. It's like, hey, I live in a world that you won't understand. Right. It's like, that's the biggest cheat I've ever seen.

Yes. It's delivered in VO. Yes, I was born into a world you may find hard to understand. And my reaction was, yeah. Very confused. And then she barely explains it. The world is almost never explained what it is. Well, she, so there's the flashback, right, where she was pregnant with a kid and then

she got the virus that turns you into a vampire. She had a, she miscarried, I guess. Her husband died. And then, and now this world. But that was, like, our reality? Was that what it was? But why did she become, like, an ascent? Was it, here's, here's what I'm saying.

Nick, Nick, someone out there. Hold on. Someone really took you to task. Who is mad at you. Ma'am, ma'am, are you okay? Do you have a problem with Fyker? I don't know. If I said something problematic, let me take, let me just take it back.

Single voice. What? With such, such anger. By the way, she understood it more than anyone else, But everyone else's like, he's right. She's like, no. Ladies and gentlemen, Mila Jova bitch. She found out about the show.

It came here. But no, what I meant by that is it felt like it was saying, it was basically the flashback felt like it was kind of in our reality. Like it was kind of like what we consider present day. Yeah. And then we flash forward to the future. And I couldn't tell. So it was like so much.

happened in like 10 years then it's like a I mean it's like a blood holocaust right I mean it's like so they take all the people with bad blood and they kind of put them in these like camps and then they get killed or something like that like or they're trying to capture them and eliminate this race of bad blooded people sure but then there are these good blooded people that have like the nose purifiers and the weird masks right we find out spoiler at the end what we find out is that he is himself a hemophage. Right.

So why is he even wearing the nose? By the way, let's just even let's just even just show you. It's going to be uncomfortable I feel like. By the way, I guarantee he was like, you want me to, wait, what am I wearing? Wait, but only in like one scene when I'm outside. All the scenes? Like this. Are you sure?

This is like the type of. Is that from the comic book? It's not based on a comic book? Wait, what is this? What am I signed on for? I thought I was doing A.O.M. Flux, right? Right. Here, this is like just the kind of shitty, bad future dialogue that is throughout. Well, now I shouldn't say throughout, because I think if you put all the dialogue together, it's like, what, eight, nine minutes, maybe.

Right. Here we go. Hemophages. No surprise. Flat space technology. Dimension compressing. Very rare. It's odd.

What was their exit strategy? How'd they expect to transport the blood out of here? Unless there was no exit strategy. Then what's the point? Well, what if they didn't come to take the blood out? What if they came to infect it? My God. Ross.

Poor bastard. That's the opening scene of the movie. They are able to, hypothesize plot points that would be almost impossible. You never see Lewin Davis ever again.

He's gone. He just, that is the only thing he's... Oscar Isaac, is he in this? And that he goes away. He's all the entire movie. You don't see it after that point where he says the poor bastard, he's gone. It literally, I don't even under...

Watching that again, it's like, oh yeah, that wasn't the beginning of the movie. And it's not that the movie is long. It's not. It's like an hour and 22 minutes. But that scene seems so inconsequential to everything. And it seems to introduce important people, I would think. Yeah. You know?

Nope. I don't, here's the thing. I don't know what or who Milo Jovovich works for, period. Right. I don't know what she's up to. Does she work for those dreadlock dudes? No. Well, yes, she did.

She was raised them? I think so. Yeah. Does she work for William Fickner? No, William Fickner is like her cue. and James Bond. Like, he has her weapons, but she produces the weapons

out of thin air. Yeah. Don't understand why he has... That's interdimensional technology. It's very rare, apparently. So... I mean, this had... This movie had some big ideas.

Fitbits that generate guns was a big idea. Yeah. It's like she just... But why not generate a gun that is loaded? Right. Why does the Fitbit also have to load it single bullet at a time? Right.

You see her, like, moving... Putting her... wrist like filling the gun with bullets from her wrist so many times it's just it's not yeah it's i i today practical yeah it was it's very impractical and it was getting a i got a recumbent bicycle i don't mean to brag no yeah um an exercise or an outdoor exercise recumbent bicycle just for so people know that's a sit down bike it's it's it's it's it's a sit down bike it's just it's the laziest exercise bike that there is sure sure i think you gain it's weight when you work out on it.

It's also the kind of bike that when you're riding it out in the world, people are like, what an asshole. Oh, yeah. You might as well be the guy that's walking around like a snake on your shoulders. Is this sitting in your house? So this is like exercise in the house. So it's an exercise bike in the house. So I got this and a guy was setting it up today.

Yeah. And ultraviolous. Whoa, you've got a exercise bike guy? Yeah, I got a guy. He sets up all your exercise bike. It's an option where you can get a guy to come over. Yeah. And he'll fix up the bike for you.

If you're a pathetic man, who can't put it together. Mitch, are you lonely? I am. That's besides the point. But this guy came over and ultraviolet was on pause. And he said, what are you watching? And I lied. Because you didn't want to be judged by the exercise bike setter upper.

That I was going to go. get on my exercise bike and watch ultraviolet. I was just like, oh, it's just something I turned around. I don't know. I lied. Even though it was Apple TV, it was very clear. Dude, that's ultraviolet. This movie's going to change your life, man.

He's like, man, you're at the beginning too. Fire it up. All the routines are like, you do one rotation of ultraviolet. Then you get in and you watch just until the pinball guys get in. And then that's the workout right there. Those pinball guys were. amazing. Yeah. Why are they made out of glass? Yeah, were they real glass chest plates? But that

seemed to break them. Yeah, I was confused because I was like, are they vampire? Why are they exploding? Because they're not like humans. Yeah. And then the ball technology, they have ball, they have ball technology where they fly around in a ball. They're literally shot out of, they're shot out of a spaceship that has like a pinball machine kind of like, uh, like steel bar like, and they're shot. Kind of like one, two, three, four, five, six. 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.

And that actually... I will say that that opening sequence was kind of... I was like, oh, this is interesting. Like... You are wrong. But, like, I like the pinball guys. But then, again, you don't know. There's no stakes, because I don't even understand what the world is.

I didn't understand. It didn't, not until the police said it, that they might have been there to contaminate the blood or that they want the blood. Because, and again, vampires don't come in by name until much later, blah, blah, blah. And nobody ever seemed to want to, none of, like, Milo Jovovich or the rest of them wanted to drink blood, or is that not part of this version of Vampire's mythology? They just need the...

I couldn't tell, because they also talk about, at one point, she, like, she doesn't have the mutation to see in the dark. Like, that becomes a plot point. And she can go out in the light. And she can go out in the light. Yeah. So what was the... But she has that one thing where it goes inside her ear, right? Or was that like the one moment when everyone's on the roof going to shoot at her?

Oh, yeah. And it was like, did it, was it like, I felt like the sunglasses scene? Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, she had some power there, but it was, as an audience member, I don't know what it was. I felt like it was super listening. Oh. I felt like she was listening to like where everybody was in the geography. So she had some good powers and not some good powers.

So, yeah. Is that a vampire specific? That's the thing. A bat, a bat can hear. Oh, a bat can, okay, that's what it is. Is that it? We're her powers. We're guessing. Is her powers?

Is what makes her a badass, her power set, vampire related or training related, or what's the deal? I think what makes her a badass is that all of her enemies like to stand around her in a circle. Always. And then just set up their firing lines where they can just take each other out. By the way, that's all they do is shoot each other in every fight. I will also say that the interesting thing about this movie and is that there's never a challenge to anyone that she's fighting, whether it's 700 people or like a dozen of them on the roof,

she seems to equally dispatch them all with, it's not like, oh shit, how am I going to get out of this one? It's like, all right, let's do it. Well, that's why it felt to me like I was playing a video game. Sure. Like, it's all lateral fights. There's no, it, there, it, I guess there's a boss battle at the end,

but even that is, also, why did, there were the whole time, there were swords in the gun hilt? The whole time she only used it in that one fight. I'd be using, I'd be activating sword hilt immediately. Why is everybody using swords too? I'm sorry, no, Nick, did I cut you off about the van,

So she misses that one mutation, but do we know anything else about... I don't, yeah, I don't know what her liability... Like, I know she, apparently she's dying, but I don't know what her liabilities are in terms of, like, what she loses for being a vampire. She's dying, though, because everyone has a 12-year, like, life sentence when you get this. Like, that was one thing I remember, I think I remember hearing. Okay.

That, like, once you get this bad blood, you got 12 years, and then you're done. So it is kind of an AIDS thing. Mitch was right. Yeah. I knew it. I knew it was an AIDS thing. thing. And it's kind of good if you think about it that way.

I'm just thinking about this other thing. Like, when they tell her not to look in the package, because she sneaks into this place and gets a package under false pretences, we can get into that too. By the way, I thought the real courier looked like a way bigger badass. Yeah. And me the job of it.

I would have liked to see her do some fight scenes. Yeah. She opened up the case and there's like a torso of a digital boy. Right. in there and then he seemingly like a very small book bag yes well by the way not a book bag a briefcase yes and like because it's small and uh and then the boy is out of it but it seemed at a point it seemed like he was like digital right he didn't think like that was a real boy right but he really was in there i think he right i mean i don't he definitely came out of there

wait i don't mean i don't mean in the like in the future can you put real people in flat like in the size of like a computer laptop it would be like putting me in there it was like like that that is like they don't describe like anything about that you could put people like Jetsons like I feel like this this movie does a thing which is it establishes a bunch of like future tech and future stuff but explains none of it which is what movie it's like it's like the opposite of world building it's like they don't build a world that you understand the rules of, they're just like, this is there,

and also this, don't stress it. But I would argue that, without even having seen it, if you were to walk into that new Avengers movie that's going to come out, Infinity Wars, which is the culmination of 20 Marvel

movies, you would go, like, I get what's going on here. I understand on some level, right? That's a hero, that person can fly, that person could shoot lasers, that's a green dude. Like, you would, on a base level, you'd understand it. Is that your understanding of the Avengers? I'm saying if you've never seen any.

I'm saying that if you're a person who's never seen any of them, you would under, like, this felt like, I'm up for it. Like, I don't need that much rope. Just give me a little, like, let me come with you a little bit. And they don't do anything. It was like you were watching, like, the seventh and final part of a series and you hadn't seen the previous six movies. So you didn't have any context.

for what was happening. And also, it's a bad series of movies. Right, right. And a lot of the series in between, it's just Ted talks about the technology that's in the next series. Not only did not describe Newtick, but then it also confused, like,

vampire, like the vampire world, because the thing about vampires is they're immortal. And I was like, why were you afraid? Like, they're afraid of bullets. I don't understand why they're afraid of bullets. Yeah, it seems like the vampires can be killed as easily as a man.

Yeah. So, yeah, why even be a vampire? And also, what's the problem with the vampires exactly? They don't seem to be attacking people or feasting on human blood or any of that. It seems like they just maybe want to tamper with the blood supply. Also, what's the blood supply? Why is there a building wherein all of our blood is kept? The clean blood.

blood reserves? Why would you need if you had clean blood? Why would you need clean blood? Why do we need that? Because it doesn't seem like you could uninfect yourself, right? Do you have to receive continual transfusions to not catch the virus? Is that kind of thing? Then then that, I was going to say that guy should get it, but that guy is like, no, I need to become a vampire to become a super great

scientist. I don't know. I did write down, just to write down this thing. So that seemed that we played earlier where they talked there, I would say that's the most dialogue you're going to get for 25 solid minutes. I wrote it down, like when dialogue continued again, it was 25 minutes into a movie. And if a movie is an hour and 22 minutes, that's bold.

Right. To almost go a half hour without any dialogue. I wonder if they shot dialogue scenes and we're like, this isn't working. Do you know what's working? The very slow, plotting fight scenes. I do have some

information about it. Oh, thank God. So, the studio did not like the first version of the film. I would argue I did not like the final version. The studio,

the studio said the... I am in agreement with the studio. The original version was too emotional, and they wanted more action so they took a 120 minute movie and cut it down to 88 minutes and uh and yeah and that's that's what we do know there was a 120 minute cut and then they reached a compromise which was an extended version of the film which added five minutes what studio was this um screen gems screen gems yeah screen gems this i mean there's a lot of i think a lot of interesting things here

the director of this movie created something called Gun Kata, which is not a real thing. It's a unique blend of fighting with guns and martial arts, and that's what he developed. And apparently, like, he didn't think that Milo was bringing it,

and so he wanted this, he's like, you got to show me your intensity, so she just punched him in the face. And he directed it with a black guy for quite some time. So that's a little background of what was going on here. So, wait, is he saying, because when I think of Gun Kata, like, that to me sounds like that that's probably something that originated, like, in Hong Kong in the 90s,

and then it was brought stateside in, like, the Matrix, right? Is he claiming credit for that? He says he has created Gun Kata. So he's saying in this movie, this is something new. Well, he directed another film called Equilibrium, the one with Christian Braille, with Kung Fu and Guns, So he's like, gunkata, I've created this, even though the Matrix has been out at this point. Telling me after this movie, this person made more movies? You're telling me that Christian Bale watched this movie?

And I was like, yeah, I'll do the next one. I'm in. Well, this guy has written a lot of movies, and I'll give you the rundown of them. Sphere, Thomas Crown Affair, the recruit, law-abiding citizen, salt, total recall. all point break, the new one, and a movie called Double Trouble, which I remember as a kid starting the Barbarian Brothers. Do you remember the Barbarian Brothers? Did you do the new, oh, yes, Fairhoven did the old one. Yeah. So these are all the ones. He basically reboots, he does all the reboots of these movies. Oh, they're all bad.

That makes sense. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, boy. I was just, I was thinking of that little kid. and I was six six yeah and I was just like remember how like hard it was for like Jake Lloyd with like episode one or something yeah I just can't imagine what world

this boy lives in now being six from this movie like do you think that would like fuck with you or do you just not care at all that you were in this movie there were times where I felt as though she was about to kiss him

anybody else with me on that Didn't you feel like She's about to make out with this kid And I felt like the kid knew it Right Do you think that would really mess with you Do you think that she confused like When they're like you love him like a mother

She's like like love him Like she just couldn't get that like that subtle Right All right this is a romantic thing, got it Yeah That's what they meant like too emotional In the two hour cut Because there were sex scenes

Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Did I lose you guys? I honestly, it would be interesting if they did hook up, kind of. There was nothing going, like, they sell, they give a boy in a suitcase in the beginning. And then he almost commits suicide.

He's standing on a round railing. Yes. He's just like standing upright on a round railing. I was like, does the kid have superpowers? Well, the kid is revealed to have nothing at the end, right? Okay, remember when she walks away from the kid in, like, the mall or whatever, and then she hears a single gunshot, she comes back, and they're scanning a dead kid body that looks like him.

Yeah. They're like, it's not him. So did he kill a kid? Did he kill a kid who looks exactly like him? No, I think someone else, I think another kid was given the coat that he had, because the coat was taken off, right? And then that kid was mistaken as the kid by security and security. killed him.

So they got an innocent child. An innocent child was killed, yeah. I cared more for the kid who was killed than the weirdo kid. Oh, yeah. I wanted the weirdo kid to die before the innocent boy. I don't think, it was tough to tell what Mila's position was on whether the kid lived or died

because she saved him from the suicide attempt. But then she abandons him in the store, and then at one point, or in the mall, and then at one point she turns to him and says, to the bullboy she's protecting, if we're cornered, I will kill you. Yeah. It's like, wait, you're going to, we're protecting,

you're escorting this guy to keep him from being captured? You're going to kill him instead of handing him over? And again, I want to just parse out the plot as I understand it. Please correct me where I'm wrong. She infiltrates the company that is trying to eliminate people like her, right? The home hemophages. I'm going to disagree for a moment. I don't know that it's a company.

I think it's the government. Okay, great. It is, yeah. But I think it is religious because it is like almost like papal and it's like the Vatican and it's in its modeling. There's a very subtle thing you may have missed where the architecture of the building is constructed in the shape of a crucifaceous. Which, yeah, I think give some credence to your theory.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something. It feels coincidental. I feel like that. I think you guys are reading it a little bit. And there's also a moment near the end where she gets stigmata in front of a glowing cross. I was like, what the fuck is this movie doing? All right, so she is, well, basically, we can all agree, because let's try to walk it through and see her. Yeah.

We can all agree that she is, she is going there to stop the government from releasing this boy. A weapon. No, a weapon is all she knows. A weapon. that will kill all the people like her infected with the hemophages. Yeah. So that's the first part of it. She gets it. She opens it up, realizes a boy.

They tell her under no circumstances is she to open the package. Right. Which she does immediate. She sees a boy and then she's like, oh, this reminds me of the son that I never had because I was pregnant. I got this and I lost my baby. So then she's like, you're going to be my son now. These are not lines of dialogue. I mean, this is an easier to understand version of the film.

So she's like, that's her runner. So then she goes back to her bosses, and she's like, I'm not giving you this kid because all her boss is going to do. Her bosses were the vampire, the dreadlock vampires, right? And the handsome man who drops down from the vent at one point and gets the kid like perfectly. Yeah. As if they knew the kid would be, like, wandering by that one spot where you can be like, pooh, pooh.

Sometimes I want to just see, like, that movie where it's like, all right, so I'll go up in the vent and I'll wait. Just try to get the kid, like, roughly in this area, like, and I'll drop. And then he's up there waiting. I think I hear him. I think I hear him. But, all right, so she's like, I'm not going to give him to my bosses because they're going to kill him. Okay, so then the government is chasing after her to get him back because they want to kill everybody.

And then, but then the head bad guy's like, don't kill him. He's my clone. Yeah. And it's the opposite of what you thought. Right. It's not going to kill all the vampires. It's going to kill all the humans unless they get, they line up to buy the antedadipers. that we have made, right?

Yeah. From the baby boy. Also, it is an AIDS parable. It is, in a lot of ways. But she's often... Is she Martin... Is the government Martin Screlli? Who's jacking up the price of an anti-AIDS drug?

This movie is really ahead of its time. Do you guys see that testimony this week when... No. like so he's like on trial and they were interviewing jurors and they're like oh what do you know about that guy and they're like oh i know jacked at the price of the wutang album and they're like could you judge this guy fairly he's like i don't know he looks like a dick like one of the jurors that is a fair assessment there there is there is some like weird like like trumpian like she's like i could never give you this world and they're looking like at like a 1950s picture do you know what i'm talking about right It's like a 1950s, like, old, and I'm like, why do they care about, I don't know how far in the future is, but why do they want to go back to a time when, like, it was like, like, they were model T's and, and like sock hops. It seems like that world is so far removed from what they want.

Yeah, they're in a CGI world. They're in a CGI world. Like, 1950s is where they want to go back. It doesn't, it didn't make any sense. Why did they go to the playground? And then they go to a playground. They ride a merry girl. I thought for sure that. That was a fantasy sequence. I thought. And then I thought it was a fantasy or a flashback. No, they're really in a fucking playground, like on a tilt-a-whirl or whatever it is.

Which is very romantic. He falls off and she, like, falls on top of him. Yeah. Tussles his hair. I thought it was a flashback. I thought it was a flashback to a scene that they had decided to cut from the movie. Like, they were just, like, trying to, like, flashback by implication this happened earlier. but it's like, no, wait, this is chronologically, this is in sequence.

So then how did they get to this playground? There's, I couldn't figure it out. And it didn't seem like that was a world where playgrounds even happen. Right. I didn't see any green grass areas. They were, I think, on top of a building. It zooms out and they're on top of a building. Wait, on the playground?

Yeah, isn't the playground on top of a building? Is that right? It might, if I very well could be. I think it was on top of, I think it was like a building. I don't understand what this was. Wait, guys, I just looked at one of my notes. We didn't even talk about the blood chinoa. Oh, yeah.

People applaud for the blood chinoa? They control the top ten floors of this building. From what? What do you mean? That building is basically a gangster's building, hemofages on the first few floors and the blood chinois above. What is happening? And blood chinois is.

are different than hemophages. Right. And not all hemophages are vampires. Right? I feel like there is some, because they were like, you're not like us. So I don't know.

She seems to kind of like them. But like she's like, don't do, like she's kind of like, don't do this. Yeah. She doesn't want to kill the blood chin wash. Yeah.

And then she does. And she kills all of them, right? Yeah. And that's it. Well, I mean, again, you pointed it out.

Their formation was shit. They literally got in a circle and all started firing. She basically dances in the middle of a party circle. while they all try and shoot her and shoot each other. So it's like a dance

at a bar mitzvah only she's like jumping around in the middle and they're all like bang, oh no. I feel like this movie is like people trying to read like oh what is that everyone like reads that book that he wrote

Infinite jest, yes. I feel like and everyone's like, I get it, but no one wants to admit like I don't know what I just And everyone's like, I'll do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the blood chinoa, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then I'm mad at them. No, I'm into them. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The blood chinwae comes up again, too.

Like, like, they come back. The blood chinoa is the most confusing fucking thing. They're mentioned on the subway at one point. There's a blood chinwa, but I think that's the only other reference to them. They just mentioned on the subway. I think so. A passer by or does, like, like, like, Who mentions them?

It's just a... You see the blood chinoa game last night? That was my favorite. The head of the blood chinois stands there and she moves out of the way and he screams and gets shot in the face. By the way, that was my favorite thing about this movie. When people got killed,

it was so like they were all upset about it. They were like, oh! It was so like, they really took in their death in a event. Like, they were like, fuck like it was he really you really felt like it was they were upset it was not their times they were abrupt and reactionary the body count in this movie she because a number of times

they tell us how many soldiers are on site yeah and she appears to kill everyone i'm gonna guess she is responsible for 1500 deaths in this movie well doesn't she go like this like she goes if you're come here, you got to fight 700 guards. And she's like, all right. She's like, I'm on my way. Yeah. She gets there and there, she's like, it's too many guards. And then a minute later, she's like, no, I'll do it.

Yeah, there's zero tension about any of that. Because she's just invincible. She just got God mode turned on. And I don't know why. That's the thing is, I never could figure out why she was invincible. What was making her better at fighting than any of the other people were. Yeah, she didn't seem to have

she wasn't like the one. Yeah, she wasn't like Neo or something. She didn't have access to a greater consciousness or a greater understanding or better fight programming. I don't know what. Can I go to bat for one thing in the movie? Yeah, please. The paper phones were kind of cool.

I love that. The paper phones were nice and I feel like they could be something someday or... The paper phone was really cool and what I really liked in the paper her phone was like, when she could talk to people, if you're talking to them, you could pull your own Zoom. So, like, she's talking to a guy who's like normal size. And then, like, the guy clearly hit a button on his end. And his face was like, bram, and a giant face. Like,

it could be a little bit more intimidating. And I was like, oh, I like that. That would be fine. That was, that was head villain Daxis that, uh, his head got very big. But he could tell he was like, oh, yeah, I'll hit this for emphasis. That's a good moment. It was like, yeah, It was a Force Awakens like we, Nick and I have argued in Force Awakens, there's a bad guy named Snoke. Yes. I was going to say it's Snoke like. It's Snoke-like. And we don't know if Snoke is big or small, which I think will be revealed in the newest one.

I just said, I just, I realize after I sent it to, I should have like, maybe I've told you it could have been spoiler. Oh, I don't care. But there was a, uh, the new toy release where they put Snoke next to a few different people. And he just seems to be like eight feet tall of it. Yeah. Like, yeah, just like above. he's eight feet tall yeah it's like that's the worst that's the worst answer of all it's kind of the it's kind of the least interesting choice you i was you was tiny it would be fun of he was tiny

or like like generally that big is tall like 80 i wanted it to be tiny too i wanted him to be a little that would be amazing if he's like super super uncomfortable about how tiny he is that's why in force awakens he's gigantic um oh there was um one thing i wanted to play here well was it the ponytail dreadlocks Yes. Oh, yeah. Here's the thing. If you're going to be some sort of martial arts, like hemophage fighter,

like keep your hair in check. Yeah, dreads are not good in a fight. So this is a... We're as fast as you. We're as strong as you. Yeah. But... Are you one tent as so pissed off as I am?

That was the sound of a poem, that was a sound of dreadlocks being ripped out of someone's head after she took someone else's like rat tail and choked them with it. You know the screenwriter is like, I fucking nailed it today. Babe, babe, you gotta read

these pages I wrote today. This is fucking great shit. It's also, I seem like the, the dreadlock man

was trying to whip his dreadlocks at her. As if it was a weapon of some kind. Right. Wait, I just realized

her superpowers, she's pissed off. Right? Because, like, we're as fast as you and she's like, yeah, but you're not as pissed.

So, like, that's her, She's a pissed off vampire. Why does everybody know who she is? She's like, she's like, everybody calls her Violet or V. Everybody knows her by name. Some people call her her full name, which is like four different names. Violet, Songjet, Sheriff.

Great. That's her full name? Songjet? Yeah. Songjet Sheriff. Everybody seems to know her, but why? What role or place does she? hold in this society

she doesn't seem me like she should have been like the one like she should have been like working we should have just established she worked for the government she killed like hemophages and now she's like against them or something sure herself is a hemophage she's kind of established as

like this chameleon like she can change her hair color and clothes color at will and then she go she infill I don't know I don't know what that doesn't make sense I don't know why can she do that I don't know yeah there's no reason well she changes like her form the same way like in the x-men you know it's like like uh why am i forgetting that character's name mystique yeah like and that's interesting because she could be

professor xavier she could be wolverine but she doesn't like mystic doesn't just go like from blue to like purple or to pink hair it's all hair and clothes yeah it's not her skin she can't look like anybody else she always has her bangs and She always has the same format of hair and clothing. It just changes color. I really did not care for this. Let's go to the audience here and see if you guys have any questions. All right.

Let's see. All right, sir. Your name and your question, go ahead. My name is Andrew. Okay. Checks out. Yeah. So my big question is just like, okay, so the guy, like,

he cuts his hand on the thing. how is this disease like transmitted because none of the protective equipment makes any sense in this movie the dude has like the nose thing that would be like an air thing right yeah but he's breathing through his mouth right

if it's airborne he's getting it yeah Andrew I think you're forgetting the nose thing is cool question mark oh it's from the comic book. But even then... Okay, yeah.

Even then, there's that one guy with the sizzler fucking sneeze guard thing. Yeah. Right. No news thing. He's just breathing in, whatever's there. Yeah, it lives in a world where oxygen can be blocked by, like, plastic that's not necessarily, like, yeah. Well, I feel like the...

What you don't want is to get the blood on you. But, okay, yeah, here's the thing. Don't point at me. Sorry. I apologize. I don't know what podcast you think you're at. Do not point at me, Andrew. Sorry.

If they're afraid of, like, the blood thing, why do they make her sign in blood to pick up the package and then, like, you know, stab a garden hose? That was a really wide thing they shoved into both of her wrists. Yeah. After having things shoved into her eyeballs, they're basically, like, sticking her, like, they're sucking blood out. They're basically, like, clockwork-orringing her.

But if it's, like, it's all blood transmitted, why would you sign in blood for things? Like, why not just like... I think that's the point. They want access to your blood so they can tell you're not a hemophage. But when that other guy has, like, a little bit of blood, they shoot him in the head. Yeah.

Why would you ever be like... I mean, it's like... You better sign a contract or get shot. Like, that's it. Like, that's the only too hot. There's no contracts around. You're going to get killed. I think Andrew's point, yeah, if you had,

you would think that a company or organization that has a building in the shape of a biohazard symbol would know what a biohazard suit was. They might have the guard. They might have the nose guards in the mouth, like in their throats. Because we never see inside their mouths. To be fair, we never see inside their mouth. I could say, I could honestly say that we,

that's true for most movies. I love that you are giving them the benefit of the doubt. This movie specifically you don't see inside anyone's mouth. And there could be a throat, there could be a throat filter of some sort. Like the nose filter. Yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah. So shut up. Fuck you, Andrew. All right, your name, your question. My name is Anna. And I was kind of confused as to why the briefcase was so important. but they were going to blow it up in nine hours. Right.

So I guess they needed to bring the briefcase to a place, but if it didn't get there, it would have blown up. This reminded me a little bit of escape from L.A., like when they give him the flu or whatever, and it's like, well, it seems like an arbitrary clock on this. Wait, is the kid going to die? The kid is going to die. They do say, Wolf Vickner says that,

and he says it in a way, Because this is a child, he's revealing the news that this child is going to die in eight hours. So, like, just like the gravest emotional card you can play in a work of fiction. And the way he says it, the line he says to deliver this news to ultraviolet is, kids toast to be. This nine-year-old boy is going to die in eight hours. Kids toast to be. Can I quickly go back to the hairful?

fight for a second. Yeah, of course. I just thought it was so, it's the first, it's a heavily accent Jamaican man. And there was, no, no, this is a good point. Cut his mic. Get rid of him. We had never met a Jamaican man before, right, in the movie. And then it's a heavily accent Jamaican man just so they can have the dreadlocks fight, I feel like. Never before, like, you never meet a Jamaican man. And then he's like, V. And then, of course, it's a threadlock. I just thought it was kind of racially insensitive, I guess, is what I'm trying to say.

I agree. I agree. All right, sir, your name, your question. My name's Jonathan. I was kind of alluding to what they were saying. Is this movie supposed to take place in the span of like nine hours or something like that? Yes. Generally.

She built a bond with this kid. And like all this stuff happened is flashbacks. It's all this weird shit happening. And it's like, nine hours, you built this bond? All this happened in nine hours. She kills 1,500 people in nine hours. Yeah, no nighttime passed. Like, they never, like...

The kids slept for like two hours, right? That cuts down on the time. That's like, said... What are they doing? Like, I feel like she's, like, a psycho mom. Like, she's like, you're my child now. Like, and... And I guess, like, if I was to just give it one small note,

I would say she should have had a child that looked like this kid and then at least you could understand like, oh, she's like putting that on it. But she was just pregnant. She never even had the kid. I thought it was going to be revealed to be her kid. Anybody else think that?

Oh, man. So badly. I thought that was going to be the reveal was that somehow she had given birth to this very important child and they had told her that it had died and they had given.

given her this disease and blah, blah, blah. That's structurally worked for me, but that's not what this was. No. And you could argue that she should have let him jump off of the railing. The kid's life would have been easier. But yet they're just going to keep on going, and that's how the movie ends.

Like, we're going to continue to fight. No, the kid dies. I thought they go dies. Does he die? I thought he lived. He dies, but then she goes back. Remember that the Draxus is about to saw into the kid's head. Yeah.

But because her tear dripped on him, she turned him into a hemophage. Yeah. Which apparently does make you immortal in some way. Somehow allows him to be quote unquote reborn. And on the third day, he rose. It's your typical Christ-Aid story. Yes, who had the question here? Matt.

Question. I feel like every scene, was from a different movie. Every scene followed different rules. And my main point is when they were fighting the blood chenwas, she could avoid every bullet. And then a few scenes later, she's in a mall and

bumping into people left and right. Whichever way she walked in the mall, all foot traffic was going the opposite way. A, B, she is the only person in this society not wearing a face mask. C, she is the only

person wearing sunglasses. She's visible constantly, no matter what she changes about her hair or her clothing color. Oh, no, she's just a girl with orange hair. We were going after a girl with pink hair. Look for the woman in sunglasses. There she is.

Yeah, your name of your question. My name's Lauren. My question is, is half of this movie, like, out of focus? Everyone looks like a melting wax figure the whole time. Like, she doesn't have a for half the movie.

It is a good point. I wrote down, like, it felt like someone saw Sin City and was like, I want to do that. But I'll... Worse. Yeah. But it feels like it was a choice,

but it was like, they didn't have the technology right or something. It's airbrushed. That's what it feels like, right? They made a really strong choice when she catches the rope and then rope burn, like,

fire comes out of her hand. Yeah. Yeah. Her hand, like, like, that doesn't... doesn't happen, does it? Yeah, it would. Does smoke? Does smoke comes out of your hand like that? No, no, I just think blood and flesh would shoot out. Also an indoor well.

Yes. Well, that's the future for you. Yeah, there's a stained glass room with a well inside. A well that is incredibly deep. All right, so your name of your question. My name is Tom. Jason's kind of right about six.

According to Kurt Wimmer, I'd like to share a little trivia. He has stated that the film was directed in such a way as to allow for an alternative theory about the story. In this theory, the character of Six is actually Violet from the future, who comes back after a cure for hemophagia

has been developed. This explains how Six has the cure and nobody else does. It also explains why Violet is so adamant about protecting a human despite her goal in life being to kill them all from the trailer. The theory also explains why Six often disobeys Violet and leads where they go.

Six is Violet? Yes. Six remembers how things happen in the original timeline and can prevent them from occurring this time around. Six is very much a boy, right? Wow, that's a real... Wait, does that presuppose the Daxus is lying when he says it's his clone or the Daxus is mistaken. I think that Daxis is always lying.

I think this boy just showed, if that's true, this boy showed up from the future. What? Fuck. Now, listen, believe me, you had me at Jason was right. But

where you lost me was everything you said afterwards? But by the way, he's just reading. I like that it said, like the director says, open to interpretation. This fucking giant theory that's so complex it's like it's not like oh yeah and breaking bad like maybe walter white uh died when the keys came down from the thing at the end of the no it's like that that's like a small moment this is like oh yeah if you just revamped the whole thing and fan fictioned it

it could be something that's like the director being like oh no there are people who have theories that make sense of this nonsense and i left the movie purposefully open to that by making it make no sense. Your name and your question. Hi, I'm Carly. So you were wondering why when he was taken out of the suitcase, why he was all like pixely or whatever,

she had put like a projector thing on him, like for sake. And then when she ran out and grabbed him, I was like what? And she goes, I'm taking you with me. Don't think about it. And then I felt like she was saying that to the audience.

But that's, okay. So See, I felt like that in the scene, a couple of scenes earlier, where she says, you might as well turn this off. Stop watching this movie. Don't bother. No, but I hear what you're saying, but she did open it before she brought it to the bad guys,

and he was pixelated there. Right, so do you remember earlier when they were taking the sword out of that guy? It was all kind of pixely as it was coming out. So maybe when things are like in the dimensional, compression or whatever, they're pixely. Got it. I know the movie is also open to a shared, an interpretation that's a shared universe with the Adam Sandler movie Pixels.

Sure. And so there is a little thing, like a big giant Pac-Man running around. Yeah, that explains the post-credit scene where Josh Gad fucks Kubert. It happens in pixels. See pixels for that. Josh Gat fucks Kuber in pixels. And then he has like, he has Kubert baby. They have Kuberb babies. So wait, they are genetically compatible?

Cubert. Cuber takes on the form of a woman. Go ahead. Cuber takes on the form of a sexy video game, babe, and then... Wait, what? Because, wait a minute. Cuberd is already sexy as well. So he becomes even sexier or she?

He becomes like a blonde babe, like, warrior lady. Cuber does. Cuber does. Like, as a gift for Josh Gap for helping, like, defeat the aliens? Why would the aliens help him? Whatever. And then Cubert changes into this woman and they get, I guess, get married

and they have Cubert babies together. Like the weird thing is, is that when they fuck, the babies that come out of the woman Wait, they come out immediately? Do you watch them fuck? You don't watch them fuck. It's implied.

It's implied. And I'm sorry, not to be a dead horse here, but Cuberd is still in the shape of Cubert. So the babies look like Cuberd. The babies are half Cuber. Half Gad. No, wait, what? It looks like a hot lead.

Yeah, Kubert. Okay, so. No, wait, that's not real, is it? Cuberts. Cubert has the genetic. Cubert is in the physical form of a hot lady, but still has the genetic material. How big is? Cuberts.

Cuberts size, size versus human proportions, but can, like, grows to giant size. So when Gat fucks Cubert, he's fucking somebody of equal stature. He's fucking a lady that's the same size as him. Is it a cameo or is it just a attractive lady? It's just, it's just an attractive lady, yeah. But it's still anime. No, it's a, it's a human actor. And so, so he hasn't sex with a normal lady, and then she immediately, like, gives birth

the Cubert baby. There's a time jump. You're saying the gestation period for a Gad, Cubert baby is moments. Well, he said there's a time jump. There's a time jump. I want to discuss Cubert and Gat until everyone just leaves the theater. Oh my God, I got to watch pixels. Yeah.

That was in the script and people were like, we're going to make this. You guys have to come back when we do that movie. And the Cuberts are wearing diapers, right? Yeah, but they're like baby Cuberts. So she kept this DNA of Cubert, which is weird if you think about it because then like he is fucking cute. Like it is Cubert. It's just Cubert in a disguise.

Why not just, wait, does Gat falling? love with Cubert? No. No. He's attracted to the video game late. He falls in love with the video game Lee. She gets killed. Who?

And then they win. Like they beat the pixel aliens. And then as a gift, they transferred Cubert, who was kind of like the funny sidekick this entire time into the form of that attractive woman. So that Gad can get his dick with? And then, and then Gad, I guess, marries her, has sex with her and gives birth to Cuberb babies. This is troubling. on many levels.

Does Cupert want any of this? The picture you're right, I didn't even think about that. Aliens come down and are like, you're a lady now. He loves the lady. You got to do this, Cubert. Like, is this, does Cubert want any part of this?

Actually, I don't know. That's a great question. I don't know what Cuberts agency is exactly. Yeah. He might be stuck in like a hell where Josh Gat is fucking him. Do you think they, like, how many different video game companies do you think they went to to make that ask?

Like, do they start with, like, Donkey Kong? And they're like, oh, yeah, we're open to it. Okay, turns into a lady and then Gad fucks, donkey Kong. Like, no. Wait, what? Okay, Sonic the Headchev. Starts at Sonic the Headchev. The makers of joust are even like, you know what?

We want to keep joust pure. We're going to, we're pretty proud of the burger time chef. He's off the table for this. Is it Namco? It came this close to getting dig-dug, but we lost them in the last minute. Let us guess. Gad's going to fuck Cuber. We could figure out to get his dick past that very airtight costume

that he's wearing a dick, though. Wasn't Cubert also like a homeless degenerate in Wreck-It Ralph? Oh, right, yeah. That's right. What, Cubert? In all senses of, like, like, Cuber is a... Cuberet lives a harrowing existence.

Like, I was going to say, Cuber is like the vanilla ice of the video game where I'm like, yeah, I'll do it. A home improvement. Joe, you got it. What do you got? Yeah. I'm pretty sure there is a scene where Vanilla Ice and Cubert are probably in frame together in the movie. Really? I think Vanilla Ice is in it, right? I think Vanilla Ice is now in a more and more Sandler movies. What is happening? Sir, your name, your name and your question. Okay. Luke, um, so in movie it explains that Daxus is the vice cardinal. Where's

the cardinal? Interesting. Like, are they, are they setting up for? for a sequel? Yeah. Oh, they clearly are setting up for a sequel. Oh, yeah. I mean, and that, I mean, the one thing about this, like, movie poster is it looks like all of her movies, too.

Like, they're, like, she's been in a lot of movies, I feel like, where she's just got swords or guns. She's final death, no, not a final, which is Resident Evil. Resident Evil, thank you. I love all of those Resident Evil movies. That's good, right? All of them. What's happening right now?

Are we just hanging out now? I'm always. Are we just having a cool, are we browing out? What's happening? So maybe that's a good call. That is a good, that is a good call. There might be a, uh, uh, what else are you up to, bro? I kind, I kind of like the Resident Evil movies too.

I'm with you. I've never seen one. I mean, they're not great. They're bad, but they're, they're so much better than ultraviolet. I mean, they're fun. They're fun. It's easier to wrap your mind around because there's at least an existing property. You can kind of like, okay, even though this doesn't have much to do with the video games,

Umbrella Corporation, Reservative, this is like something I know what this is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I would even, I would even like harken to guess that there's like a plot. Like, you know, like these things are out and you got to kill them and then it'll be okay, right? Like here I don't even know what, I don't even really understand what, going on. We, we tried to, like, go from A to B. I don't know. I don't know what's happening here. I, on the way to the theater tonight, uh, I ran a stop sign and I almost got into a terrible car accident. Uh, and I didn't tell you this before the show because I wanted to surprise you

that I nearly died. Cool. Thanks. And literally the last thing I would have done has, was to see ultraviolet on the recumbent bike. A recumbent bike that didn't work. The guy put the seat on upside down. What? He put the back of the seat on upside down. Yeah, he put it on upside down. Also, I paused this movie so many times.

It's an hour and 20 minutes. And I paused it so many times. I finished right before I left. And I would have, the last thing, you would have to lie to my mom or something and tell her I was doing something different. Yeah, he was, uh, he died jack. off. That's less embarrassing.

I fell asleep five times in the final ten minutes. Like I was like, what is going on with me? Like, I was like, once the lights went out and they got into like the flaming swords, I was like, and I was like, oh, who cares? I couldn't keep my eyes open. And it was early. Like, June was having some. sort of meeting in the living room and I'm watching it and I'm like, and I'm like,

it was like, I feel like it was like 8.30. I watched it in the morning. I watched it Friday morning and when I got up and I was, I was kind of like when you told me what the movie was, I was like, oh, this, you know what? It's, I like dumb action movies. This will be, I like Milojova, this will be fun. And eight minutes in, I said aloud to nobody, this movie sucks. Well, let's see what the actors have to say about it. this is I think we'll give us a little bit of insight

on this. Here we go. Who's this guy? I think this is the inventor of Gunkata, the writer. I can't think of a better person to direct the movie because it clearly is so in his head from the beginning to end. He managed to combine

the underlying story which has multiple things and he did it in a way which breaks the convention of the genre. It's all in his vision. And just everything, every set piece, costume, everything. I mean, you wrote it. It's very specific of what it is, what his intention is, the story that he wants to tell.

I heard that Kurt actually wrote the script for me, which is really flattering and exciting. So it was like, you know, shook hands and said, all right, see you in Shanghai. So it's been over a year now than I've been preparing. the way the way welcome fickner was describing that of like it's all his vision was so clearly placing the blame on him he's like yeah and even the producer's like you know he he's got it in his head everything is in his head and we weren't privy to it please please i i um i feel like everyone makes a gamble on people like this because they're like it could be the next matrix i don't know I don't fucking know.

Like, you know, it's like everyone thinks that they have the next Matrix when they can't understand it. But what you forget to realize is the Matrix made total sense. Like, it was cool ideas. It was just very simple storytelling. Yes.

You know. With the cool ideas around it. It was ever like, wait. So the baby and what and the blood? Like, it's like, it's, you can describe the Matrix so simply. Matrix 1. Yes. Oh.

Matrix 2 and 3. Once we get to the rave, I genuinely don't know up from that. What happens at the test screening of a movie like this? Like, do they test it? Oh, yeah, I'm sure that's when they went from 120 minutes to 88. So all the notes of the comment cards they were getting back were, like, too easy to follow? Makes too much sense.

Whatever you do, don't reshoot a frame of this to make sense. Yeah. Show her reloading more. And also shooting a gun. like she's throwing stuff. This is... You're not throwing the bullets out of the gun. This is another little thing here

that I thought was interesting. The film creates a fictional Asian race that speaks a fictional language called Thalandi, which is just Vietnamese. So we... It's a fictional language that is only the actual language, Vietnamese. Yep. Which people speak that?

I think that may be the... The blood chinoa. But that, to me, is the shittiest thing of all times. Like, yeah, it's a fictional language. I would like a prequel movie. I want a prequel movie that is just the blood chinois. Oh, wait. There's one thing I just remembered.

Yeah. Is there... Does she have inner dialogue just once in the entire movie when she drops... the end as well. Oh, okay. Halfway through the movie. There's their voice over at the end, too, right? Yeah.

Because when she drops off the kid in the mall, she's like, wait, what am I doing? And you're like, what? I had to be like, did her mouth move her? Am I having a stroke on this recumbent bike? Yeah. Are you, were you upset that you would? would die in your car wreck and instead of at the hands of Nick Weiger.

I'd much rather have Wager kill me at some point, which you will. Yeah. I went easy on you tonight. I was going to talk about how you would have loved those briefcase that had children in them and stuff. Jesus Christ. You would. As an easy way to transport a little guy around.

Oh, God. I went easy on you specifically to not say that. I was going to say this thing, but I just said, I was supposed to say thank you. Thanks, Mitch. I was going to try to be like, I was going to try to be like, the movie's actually good, but the movie's so bad and I'm mad. You could like, it was, like, I try, like, we try to go.

I try to find the, there's no, there's literally no good in it. It is such garbage. It's the worst, it's, it is like maybe the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. You're welcome. Obviously, we have opinions about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions as sung by our friend Ted.

Hey, I have an opinion, and you have one too. Let's go to Amazon for a second opinion review. Yeah, give it up for Ted. Great work, Ted. Great work. Well, I will say these are some of the best second opinions I've ever read. I had a very, very hard time cutting them down. So I'm going to read a couple of them.

I will say that it is amazing to read these because they all share one thing, which is people are hot and horny for Milo Jojovich. And it comes through in these reviews. Um, and then, uh, all right, so this one is like, uh, this one just, all right, oh man, where should I start? Uh, this one is easy from Dave T. I haven't watched it yet, but anything Milo Jovovich is in has to be good. She's generally a tough girl, but she's not the villain. Not sure, though, about Resident Evil. Haven't seen that one either. Five stars. This one from John N.

Title, yupp. Body. Okay, she's just hot, five stars. She's one of those people, even we saw it or heard it earlier tonight, that just brings out the creep in guy. Yeah, this one from Mike, people seem to be pretty divided

about how they liked this movie, but I liked it. Mila is so, so pretty and it was so nice to see her all the time she really helps this movie a lot but i guess it helps if a person is a guy and single that that means they're really going to enjoy this movie there was good photography good sets and good music i like it when a movie has good music and i like the way it didn't become night whenever there was a battle scene there's plenty of light so people could see what was going on five stars

Wow, as a single guy. This one is from Forward Observer, and the title is runway modeling in our 21st century. And I'm just picking up in the middle here, because that's I had to do with a couple of these. They're long. We are sometimes lowed and more often enlivened by the sensuous and sultry sound of her voice.

Meshmerized and transfixed by the resolute regard of her eyes, her mouth, and her face. I don't like it. And alerted and attracted to her youthful grace. Bluh. Her confident pos. And all else, the amazing martial arts, the exceptional motorcycle stunts,

the thoroughly surprising architectural elements of Shanghai, China, and the ever more alluring, of lush costumes and lavish sets. Though beautifully choreographed, vibrantly hued, and fascinatingly textured, whoa, it's really reassuring to know such a creature as Mila inhabits our planet.

Five stars! Creature. Oh, God. There's also something about reading these with that frozen image behind. Right. As if she doesn't like it either, she's like, eh. This is from Lori. I love this movie so much, so much that I had to rent it twice.

Then I bought it. And now it's going on my iPod. If you watch it from the beginning, don't be high. Pay attention. What? But if you're watching it from the end, be high as you want. It's got a cool futuristic lifestyle going on, and I like that. I mean, who knows where our future will bring us?

I wonder about stuff like that a lot. Oh, my. I mean, is it possible for some of the things to happen one day? I don't know. Watch it and be prepared for pure entertainment. Five stars. And then I will go to the last. two. This one, short one, from Stephanie E, who we've read before, where Jason said that you thought this woman was pretty horny.

She said... Wait, the same person? Yes. How do... Are we tracking these people? This is Nate Kiley's research. He has a good memory. Okay. What do we got? I wish I could change my hair color that easy. Five stars. still sounds horny all right so this one's a little long just bear with me because i think it's

interesting um okay uh it's michael and the title is what you may not know about milo jojjovitch uh okay i'm reviewing another movie featuring the phenomenal miss judevich because beside the fact that i thought this is another killer movie by mj but also because of the trivia i read going along with this one i always know knew MJ was bad to the bone, but I had no idea what she accomplished at this point and far earlier in her career. This lady was modeling, acting, dancing, and an established fashion designer. She's immensely wealthy. Before she was even in her teens, throughout her early life where most child prodigies crash and burn, she created an empire and drove forward the market

herself onto an astonishing, successful, an extremely wealthy individual. Her workout regimen and is uncompromising and would kill a lesser person. By the time she became, by the time she began acting more or less full time, she could speak a dozen languages. Her IQ is off the charts. She amassed a huge fortune while most young adults are still struggling to quote unquote find themselves. She's 415 years old. She invented fireworks. She can act as well as perform her own superhuman stunts. Yes, folks, she does her own stunts. The ultraviolet didn't do as well at the blocks office.

Some of her more popular films, like Fifth Element. It's an amazing accomplishment, nonetheless. And the list keeps growing. Wow, five stars. I feel like that reveals. you could grant her a restraining order. I don't know who he's fighting. I mean, that's like a biography that you would read

in like a fifth grade class. Before she was in her teen, she was one of the most well-respected fashion designers in the world. She speaks high Valerian. There are literally pages and pages. I'm not going to bore you with it. They're fascinating, just backstory on IMDB trivia

about all the technology in the movie that it feels that the director got on there. It was like, let me lay it out for you in very long, wordy passages. I mean, it's sort of like, you know, the technology mainly takes form of an easily overlooked wristband, although one-inch scabbards holding 42-inch swords

are also seen. Handguns with 18-inch bayonets are also stored, in the six inch grips and ammunition is also hidden in this manner the bolts flying

from the wristbands into the magazines on command and it's like it's like the technology is also used to create

habitable pocket dimensions such as a briefcase backpack oh that's what it is okay yeah so there it is oh now it makes sense

yeah and like Garth's whole research lab is just in a different dimension yeah we didn't know any of that wait there

Garth isn't another dementia the entire movie? Really? Well, that's why his truck can be like a big giant lab, I guess. Oh. Because it's like, it's kind of like Hermione's purse. Oh, okay.

Or it's like the tents in Harry Potter. Like it might look like a little pup tent. But when you get in, it's like a whole big thing. So that, so the final shot, which is the Red Mac truck coming at the camera. That's his lab? Yeah. Okay.

Oh, okay. They're inside his world. They're inside his truck. It's just enormous because it's in a pocket dimension. Yeah. So where's the little boy when he's in the backpack suitcase? What dimension is he in? Who knows, man?

He's in some dimension. He's with the bullets. He's like, oh, all these fucking bullets. Just clanging around in here. Like, bayonets are stabbing. I'm like, fucking shit. Get out of here. well before

before I ask you guys if you'd recommend this movie because I think it's a real question here's what the end VO is yes I was born into a world you might not understand but a world

that's a romantic shot still lives and my body would be able to fix it the way another cured my soul. Maybe. Maybe not.

But this I do now. All those still out there who spread oppression and justice and hatred. They better hope not. The end. It's even comic book font, which is annoying.

There should have been a question mark at the end there, too. I've thought for sure there was going to be a post-credit sequence. Nothing, yeah, nothing really puts a, like, an exclamation point on a film, like, bold comic sands. Oh, man. Well, Jason, would you recommend people see that? No. No, this movie is legitimately bad.

And it's not fun enough to get to worth it for me, I don't think. No, it's not a, you know, there's... No, I'm glad that we watch it in this conversation is better than the movie, but you shouldn't subject yourself to that. Nick? No, fuck, no. I mean, it's joyless. That's the thing. There's some, you know, like a bad movie.

Some of it's like, oh, this is fun. You guys know, sometimes it's a blast. There's nothing fun about this. It's just a slog. And the fact that it makes no sense makes it feel, it's 88 minutes and it feels interminable. Yeah, it really, and it's, I feel like there was, it's almost like an overloading of ideas in a way.

Because it's like, oh, these are all, any of these things would be interesting if it wasn't all just jammed in there it was like just closing that closet door and like enjoy it like it's almost like if there's enough stuff you'll like it but it just yeah it just falls apart Mike I know you like this

yeah I liked it um no I mean I think it is maybe one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life I'm not even kidding around I thought I was gonna try to be contrarian in some way but force awakens is much better than it every any movie is much better than I think Nick's right it's just is it's like it doesn't do bad fun like there's no like you can't have fun with the badness of it like yeah what was the truck at the end it wasn't i don't even know what the truck

was and the truck is coming out that it doesn't make any sense i mean basically the last 40 seconds this movie is all cg i like shitty shitty cg i and she doesn't even seem to care she's like will i get fixed maybe maybe not and you're like but but she's like happy with the fact that she turned that kid into a vampire yeah which it's 12 years he'll be dead when he's like 16 or well he's not four but he'll be well i mean she won't be dead because he won't be dead because he's her oh but he's a he is a he's a little boy right shit happens man but yeah no i i yeah no it's it's it's yeah it's it was depressingly bad well i i feel his exact same way echo everything that everybody says it was uh interesting

that a movie that seemingly, like, that seems like it cost a lot of money would be like no one stopped it. How much did it? I'm curious how much it costs. Budget was, oh, not that bad. See, that's why I feel like she's the biggest movie star. It's all CGI, so I feel like, and it's not well done. So I'm going to say like $22 million.

Okay. Any way else want to take any guesses on the budget of the movie? 40 million. Okay. I'm going to say, oh, God, 15 million. I'll go low. All right. It's $30 million dollar budget.

opening weekend was $9 million. In the United States, it made $18 million. And in the world, it made $31 million. So it made back its money. Well, yeah. We don't know what they spent on the rest, but. Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right. The P&A on this is probably 50 cents.

Wasn't there some sort of, wasn't Ultraviolet the name of some sort of other DVD thing they were doing? Oh, it was like, it was like a Blu-ray HD DVD, but, oh, yeah. It's like a rental system or something, right? Somebody explain it very quick. You're. Oh, right. It was a digital code.

Like, you would get the DVD and then you could put the thing in, I think it was like, but was it named after this movie? iTunes, right? Free download when you bought the DVD. Yeah. Was it based on this movie? No, no. I mean, like, was it related to this movie somehow?

Well, I will tell you, the one interesting spinoff of this movie was it made a, he finally did get to make a comic or a cartoon because it was spun off into an animated series. Two years later, called, it was called, sorry, I'm finding it right here. Family guy. Yes. It was turned into the show, Bob's Burger. F is for family. It's called Ultraviolet Code 44.

So if you guys want to find Ultraviolet Code 44, you can get deeper into the world. You can get your answers about the Grandmaster, whoever that person was, the Archduke, whatever his name was. So that's that. And let me just so I can plug it so you guys don't have to. The Dope Boys is one of my favorite podcasts.

I will second that. Yeah. Oh, God bless you. Thank you. Every week, you guys go to a different chain restaurant, whether it is something as simple as like a Starbucks to a red lobster to in and out, and you're your connoisseurs of this food. Can we counter you? Yeah.

It's bad. It's a bad podcast. Here's what I like about it. Because, yes, it is. It is you guys and a guest reviewing and talking about a meal you've had at a fast food restaurant. You're ranking the restaurants, et cetera. for me, it is a story of two men who are growing to loathe each other.

It is a journey from friendship to murder suicide. And that's what I find compelling. And I will then jump on that and I think I understand why it's happening because I have done one of these episodes. You feel physically ill after doing the episode because the food you're eating is bad. and I feel like you guys are poisoning yourselves. I texted John Gabris when you guys did the thing

where he ate 100 chicken wings or something. He ate 100 chicken McNuggets. 60 chicken McNuggets. And I was like, oh, 60. Have you died? I was like, I'm concerned for his safety. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's why I got this recumbent bicycle.

Good. Because this show is killing me. It's killing us. I did. I did a high-end restaurant with you guys. I'm sure we did a tie-in with HADDiscay. Maybe we did the Bubba Gump a restaurant. And I thought that was going to be fine.

And I wasn't. Even that was really bad. Yeah, no, we're going to die at some point soon, but we kind of both. We welcome death. Yeah. And Mike, when is love coming back out? Love comes back in February.

I think around Valentine's Day, season three comes up. Yeah. Yeah, tune in. Very good. Yeah. Anything else? Do you want to plug? No, I'm good. Jason.

I'm okay, thanks. There's a fucking bug. Plugging that bug. And I will just plug wet-out American Summer 10 years later on Netflix. I have a small part in that, and then this movie opening night

that I did also that's, I think it's actually pretty funny, also on Netflix. And there's two. Watch the one that looks like I would be in. it. All right.

Big thanks to April Halley, who cut all these clips. Nate Kylie did all over research. Kelly Alto, who puts this whole day together. July Diaz up in the booth. Alec up in the booth. Everybody here at Largo. Thank you guys so much for coming out.