How Did This Get Made? - Wild Wild West w/ Kevin Smith (Classic)

Episode Date: May 26, 2026

Kevin Smith (Clerks) joins Paul, Jason, and June to help break down and share his unique connection to the 1999 steampunk action-comedy Wild Wild West starring Will Smith and Kevin Kline. The crew discuss Dr. Loveless’s spider fetish, the huge robot dildo, the awful racist jokes, the murder discs with spider emblems, and so much more. (Ep. #43 Originally Released 08/21/2012) • Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, FAQs, and more• Leave us a voicemail at speakpipe.com/hdtgm• Submit your Last Looks theme song to us here• Join the HDTGM conversation on Discord: discord.gg/hdtgm• Buy merch at howdidthisgetmade.dashery.com/• Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of Trauma• Shop our new hat collection at podswag.com• Paul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheer• Paul’s YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheer• Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer• Subscribe to Enter The Dark Web w/ Paul & Rob Huebel: youtube.com/@enterthedarkweb• Listen to Unspooled with Paul & Amy Nicholson: unspooledpodcast.com• Listen to The Deep Dive with June & Jessica St. Clair: thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcast• Instagram: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & @junediane• Twitter: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & msjunediane  • Jason is not on social media• Episode transcripts available at how-did-this-get-made.simplecast.com/episodesGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It's men in black in the Old West, but way more racist. We saw Wow, Wild West, so you know what that means? Now, how did this get made? We're going to have a good time, celebrate some failure, not just be a hater, because you know you wonder, how did this campaign? Let's follow in the mediocrity of subpar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question, how did this get made? Hello, people of earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made.

We have a very fun show for you today. The movie is Wild Wild Wild West. I am joined by my two co-host. Jason Manzoukis, how are you? Pretty good. How are I, Paul? And you and Diane Rayfan, how are you? Hi, Paul.

Both back in the studio. And today a very special guest, writer, director, podcaster. Kevin Smith, welcome. This is just a proactive way to make sure none of my flicks ever get discussed on this fucking show. The moment I saw this podcast pop up, I said, I got to get out on that show fast. Otherwise, it's going to be like episode 16, Jersey Girl. How do fuck did this happen? So now you'll have to think twice.

By the way, we'll do Jersey Girl if you're the guest. Totally. Oh, because I can tell you what happened there. Oh, perfect. That's a great version of this show. This one, I don't have as much insight into how it happened, but I do play, to say a role would be putting it to Grandi. You play a good. You play what nobody ever realized is how black.

It's a great thing. And nobody gave me any credit, you know, because they were still mad about Marat. No, this is a movie that I have such tangential connection to. But when I heard about this, it made me laugh so hard. I mean, so the big thing in this movie is the N-piece is a gigantic 80-foot mechanical spider. Totally normal. Yeah, totally normal. Which, to be fair, before we scare it a flick, when you saw this trailer, you were like,

holy shit, they may have cracked the code. Yeah. Like, this may be the best movie of all time. They found a way to combine the old West and fucking steampunk and all this stuff. And the track record's great. You've got men in black. He's been, Will Smith have been like Independence Day. You're like, all right, these guys.

Very fucking Sonnenfeld, man. Like the legendary director, hell of a shooter. Like, he knows how to work humorously. Yes. Big budget. And also like a good movie to be translated or a good TV show to be translated into a movie. Sure. Have you ever seen?

Has anybody ever watched the TV show? Oh, I haven't. Oh, the TV show's great. It's like James Bond in the Old West. And who was the star? Robert. Robert Conrad. Conrad.

Who? So the dude who was like put a battery on my fucking shoulder. Yeah, yeah. Is the TV show a two-hander? Yeah, exactly. And basically Robert. Wait a second. Don't be dropping the fucking industry lingo and whatnot.

You lost me. We lost half the audience. Go, two-handers. Is this a porn? Two-hander. It's the first episode of a meat cue? Explain two-hander for those who are... They just hold hands the entire time.

It's an equal, it's an equal balance. I don't know it's going to be one of these shows. Oh, yeah. This is like fucking a Nicki Fincaught. Told you. It's an industry. It's sickening. Well, you know what?

It was supposed to be at one point, Mel Gibson and George Clooney was the original incarnation of the Wow, Wow, West. But then Richard Donner was going to direct it. He went off and did Maverick. And then... And he took Mel Gibson with him.

Exactly. I remember liking Maverick. I haven't watched it recently. I remember not liking Maverick. Maverick, all I remember is Jody Foster's chemistry with him. More so than the movie itself. And this is, I guess, when, like, publicity and hype machines started actually going to work in a big bad way.

Because there was an era of kids before the age of podcasts and the Internet where you didn't know that much about movies unless you went fucking digging for it in a zine or a convention. I remember being on AOL online and downloading like movie poster for like Beverly Hills Cop 3 and it was like slowly just going down. Oh, my God. He was almost like masturbating to porn. Yeah, just watch line by line. What does it look like? with a roller coaster in the background? Axel.

Put a banana in its tailpipe. This will be amazing. But there was a period where you didn't know that much. You weren't in and dated. It wasn't like, you know, now during the production of a movie, you hear about it all throughout. Images are released. Yeah. You're seeing shit left and right.

This was when they started like putting stars out there big time and doing like, and again, it's not like this is where it was born. But this is where I felt it like kick in, where publicity. became an art form all to itself and an industry almost as powerful as the financiers in this business and the marketers. Publicity is just as powerful.

Jody Foster went out and told this story a zillion fucking times about what a prankster Mel Gibson was. On Maverick. Yes. Always. Anytime you heard about Maverick, it wasn't about like, oh, it's the old show or fucking James Carter makes an appearance. None of that. It was,

Mel Gibson is such a practical joker. And Jody Foster is going to tell you out. And she's like three very tame examples. Exactly. But also kind of cute. We were like, oh, who knew he had a sense of humor? Yeah. That's all I remember of Maverick.

Cut two years later when they're like, Mel Gibson hates Jewish people. And gays. And gays as well. All I can think about is like, so what were those practical jokes? Yes. There was a lot that did not make the story, the publicity stories. Inexplicably, Jody Foster is Mel Gibson's greatest apologist. She's a staunch defender of him.

But she's becoming the person that comes out in defense of anybody that goes off the path. Kristen Stewart. She just did it with cakes too as well. She comes out going, leave her alone. She just likes fucking dick. I shouldn't say that. By the way, how great would it be? If Jody Foster was like, leave her alone, she likes fucking dick of all people. She's like, I don't. I don't.

To each his own. Or her own, I guess. Or bone, if you will. You know, it's like, but you're right. This is like the era of 1999, like where it was like where Godzilla had like all summer long. It was like, it's coming. It's bigger than this. But it's.

Yes. They had a billboard New York on the side of a building. It would be like, he's bigger than this. Yeah. Holy shit. But this movie. And it was terrible. It's so bad. What they forgot was to put up an ad that was like, it's as interesting. About an inch between. And it's a giant, but this. A scratch and sniff sticker of a fart. The problem with that movie is like you take Godzilla, which is a design everybody fucking knows fundamentally and change. It would be like if they, you know, they did that Smurf's movie. And whether you saw it or not, you look at the post. We did. We did it for this show. Did you do it? Yeah. They look like Smurfs. Those are Smurfs.

Godzilla doesn't look like Godzilla. Yeah, you can't change what the character is. You have to keep in there. And then insist to people that it's the same thing. Yeah. This movie so bad that Robert Conrad was asked to cameo in the Wild Wild West because he was a star of the TV show. And he said no.

And then accepted all the Razzie Awards for the Wow, Wild West. Oh, that's amazing. So much. And then Will Smith eventually apologized to Robert Conrad for recognition. the Jim Smith character. Oh, wow. So, yeah. Do you think that's even owed?

I don't think he needs to go and apologize to Robert Conrad. Did Robert Conrad create that show? No, yeah. He played the character for the first time, right? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to pick a fight because he's even at, he must be 70, he must be a tough guy.

And he'll come in and put the fucking battery on my shoulder. Knock it off you, bitch. That was the commercial of my youth. He was the scary guy who was like, knock a dursel off my. Yeah. Oh, totally. And for some reason, that would prove that it was a better battery than most. Yeah, it's like, if you could get my face, then this is a good battery.

You're like, what's the logic? I'm going to buy that battery. You're going to do that better. This is before they decided to market things based on how good they were. This was just like associating them with tough guys. Well, then they had the rabbit. Then all of a sudden they had the bunny and people like, fuck you in your fucking shoulder. This rabbit will sell batteries, way more batteries.

What about that guy? Wasn't they that Australian guy who sold that? batteries too. Oh, the big bald guy? Yeah, and he was... Jacko. Jacko. I'm gonna edit you. Yeah. Oi, that guy. Again, nothing to do with batteries. Just really... Anti-Semitic. Yeah. He was like, oh, oy,

no, he was Australian. That was their thing. It was their oi. Not the Jewish Oi. Oh, he might be Jewish. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. We need to find out about it. Is there not an international language of Oi? Like that it goes to all cultures? Well, I mean, Gwen Safani had that Oi to the world. She did have

on... It was... Oh, it's on like the best Christmas album. I feel like that's the oi of punk rock British, like the same oi, you know, that would be from that era, from that version. But maybe that's what Jaka's Oi was. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure it was. That Oi still lives, man. I was at a, we had an event once, a vulgarathon, and there were, there's a lineup before people get in. And there were these three dudes who were like their own homegrown punk band.

And, you know, I'm walking down a lot. Go, hey, welcome, everybody, welcome. They stopped me like, dude, you got to hear this because we wrote this with you and mine. Ready? And they fucking pull out a guitar. sing oi for captain america and they did five minutes of pump about singing oi for captain american how awesome he was and mind you this is like 1999 these guys were ahead of the curve i like it yeah these guys got it and a little early so um yes this movie was everyone i think expected this movie to be great

the track record was lining up perfectly and it's a example of one of those movies that has like all the right elements in place but it's a good example of one of those movies that has like all the right elements in place but It's just, it's a mishmash of nothing. Six writers on this movie, two story by credits, like two separate people wrote the story, and then six different writers are credited. That's a hard thing to even get done in the WGA to get that many writers. Let's look at how many cooks may have been involved in this. If you're coming off of men in black, you've got, of course, Will Smith.

He's at his apex at this point. And Barry Soninfeld, the director is also at probably his moment. most powerful. Who else is in the movie? Kevin Klein doesn't have that much juice. And by all reports has always been a guy who's like, I'm an actor, I'm here to do the work.

And actually really good in this movie, too. sells it. Oh, yeah. That's really. Kenneth Branagh. Kenneth Branagh, he doesn't have enough juice to really mess with things. But this is a weird move for him at that time.

Yeah. I feel like. I'm sure he was just like, this will make me hip. Yeah. It's like he was great. Thank you. I'm working on it. The moment I knew we were doing this,

I was brushing up. Wait do you hear my Kevin Kline. Listeners. Kenneth Rana is not in the studio. That is Kevin Smith. But this is like, you know, this is like that Jeff Goldblum doing Independence Day in Jurassic Park. It's like, oh, this is my big ticket. Like, I'm a-

Normally I'm an actor, and now I'm going to be this actor. Exactly. I'll just jump into this movie. And, you know, so you imagine all the Warner Brothers people. It's like a big, it's the most expensive movie made in 1999, this movie. So, you know, so that also says that there's a lot of people. Sam Hayak? No juice whatsoever.

So really the responsibility, if you're going to look, if play to blame game, probably fall squarely on the shoulders of M.M.M. at Walsh. Good point, man. The guy that everything is the train conductor. The minute I see M.M. at Walsh, I'm like, fuck. This guy came in with a bushel of notes. Raising Arizona could have been amazing, but the first five minutes, blew it. M.M.M. at Walsh. Blood simple. Oh, come on, M.M. at Walsh. Come on.

Shot by Barry Sarafeld actually. Slapshot. Oh, well-done. Well connect. Yeah. I would also argue, too, that there is one flaw in this movie. One? Well, yeah.

There's minutes. Like, when they rewrote it for a black actor to play this role, it is a little odd to be like he's an undercover agent right after the Civil War. He would stick out like a sore thumb wherever he would go. Everywhere. Yes. And the rewrites in this movie are so evident. Like, they don't have anything to do with the plot at all, like making him, you know, that character played by a black actor.

It's just sort of integrated into the lines here and there. Yeah. Not here and there every time he comes. Also every time he enters a scene. Yeah. Like it smells like they had a test screening and everyone responded and they're like just more of this, less of that. Having been through the fucking process, yeah, that's what happens, man.

I mean, we talked about Jersey Girl before, but Jersey Girl is a movie I test screened the most. It was forced to 12 separate times. Oh, man. And when you start making cut. That's based on an audience reaction that you're never going to meet again. Yeah. It's a slippery slope.

I've always said, look, you bring me a crowd, and if they all say shit, I'll cut to their notes, but then give me that same exact crowd to then show them the second pass. Yeah. Because otherwise, it makes no sense. But what they do is you meet one audience. They go, this sucks, this blows. And the studio goes, you heard them, fucking fix it. So you go in and change it.

And they're like, let's test it again. Then you test with a completely different audience. And you're not answering the old notes anymore. you're answering their all brand new notes. Oh, it's a mess. It's a terrible mess. So you go through it. You know, it's not as bad as like fucking home invasion.

That's a terrible mess. Things like that. The idea of a real home invasion is a really bad, terrible mess. That's hard. A home invasion is never noted, though. You get the, you go and you do your stuff. We're like, you could have done that better. But in that process, when you look at this flick, you have the same feeling.

Like, they sat there and screened it. The first screening, they were like, this is going to be money, jacked up. Here we go. got a bunch of fucking revelatory notes were like, shit, take everything out that blows and everything that got a remote chuckle, let's just throw money into more. You're exactly right

because I did some research and this movie tested so badly that it became a news story in the time where this wasn't a big deal. Right. And Barry Sondefeld and Will Smith had to come out in front of that bad test screening and be like, ah, and Barry Sondefeld's thing was, people thought they were seeing the Matrix.

That's why. They didn't know they were seeing a comedy movie. I've read the whole article today. I've thought of so many excuses for why my films underperform. But never have I thought to say, somebody thought this was something completely different. People said in the future, not the old west. Yeah, this is not my fault. Nothing more than for every time you test screen a movie now, you come out in front of it and say,

people thought they were seeing the Matrix. I am so, yeah. Always the Matrix. They thought it was going to be in 3D and IMAX. But just to give you a sense of how the dialogue kind of plays. Here we go. Nice of you to join us tonight and add color to these monochromatic proceedings. Boom.

When a fellow comes back from the dead, I find that an occasion to stand up. Zing. I can see where it'd be difficult for a man of your statue to keep in touch. Zing. Half the people you know. Zing. Perhaps the lovely Miss East will keep you from being a slave to your disappointment. Zing.

That is this one little scene. And that dynamic, that dynamic between them happens throughout the movie. Well, and by the way, that's the first time that Will Smith and Kenneth and Kenneth Brana meet in this movie. And there's also a little funny scene here too because, you know, Will Smith is trying to steal some documents. And you find out that Kenneth Brana's office is full of paintings that are just like his security guard

standing in the painting. Posed as parts of paintings. Living paintings. Living paintings. That's how rich he is. Yeah, and they don't kill him when he's in there by himself. Only after. They wait for him to like scan the paper, learn the information.

They wait for. for a very long time to get him. And then they don't get him. He manages to somehow shoot them all. Yeah, he realizes that every painting is in there. It's a really waste of security. Even the one on the ceiling. Yeah.

Oh, my God. But so, so, so, so, yeah. So, there's so much to talk about it here. We still haven't heard Kevin Stewart. Yeah, so, obviously the producer of this movie, one of the... The producer of this movie was John Peters, who goes back in this town,

in this business for... This is Streisand's John Peters. Yes. Trisand's John Peters. Hairdress. Back in the day, he was a hairdresser. That's how he's gained entree into this business. He was Barbara Streisand's hairdresser, who then became...

It's an unusual trajectory. Isn't it weird? Especially because when you think of her hair, you go, especially then, Circus 70s, it's like, oh, it's that fucking rat's nest. Yeah. Like, it's literally just a fro. Yes, it is literally a rat nest. What work is being done there?

So he was her hairdresser, and then he became her lover. Oh, really? Oh, I didn't. know that. I like that you brought it down there. There you'd be on the lights, I'll tell. Yeah. Interesting trajectory.

Yes. And then she started bringing him onto Flicks as her producer. He, like, produced The Star is Born. The executive producer on Caddyshack. A main event he put her into. That was the boxing movie with Ryan O'Neill. Yeah. I mean, he has great movies.

I mean, you know, American Werewolf in London, Flash Dance, DC Cab, Youngblood. Caddyshack, too. No. The Shack is back. Batman, Tango and Cash, Batman Returns. This is what I know he's definitely responsible for. The main event, because he can talk about that to no end. And Batman.

He was heavily involved with Batman. Oh, really? Okay. I spent a lot of time of them because I was working. I got a job in 1996 working on Superman Returns, it was called. Oh, so Mary born. Now, that wasn't, you weren't going to put Tim Burton in the suit. But I suggested, like, again, my opinion didn't mean shit at that point.

Like, chasing Amy, I think. had yet to even come out. I was coming off mall rats. But when I handed it in my script, I was like, you guys should get Tim Burton, man. He did a great job with Batman. Even though his sensibility is different than fucking, you know, Batman, Superman, the character, like that dude knows that because there were nobody else that you can

point to to be like, there's a comic book guy. But at the point that I was involved with it, nobody was attached yet. Tim Burton would come later. Nick Cage would come later on as well. But when I was working on it, the, I had to go meet with Peters in order to go through approval process. because when he used to run Warner Brothers with Peter Goober. And then, I'm sorry, let me backtrack.

They were at Warner Brothers during Batman. Movie went fucking huge. Over on the other side of town, the Japanese by Sony. Okay. And then they say, we need someone to run this studio. Let's just turn to the premier producers who made the most successful movie of this year. And they brought Peter Guber. They bought them out of their Warner Brothers contracts, brought them to Sony, and had them run the studio.

If you're interested in this kind of shit, there's an amazing book called Hit and Run, which is all about Goober Peters taking over Sony and running it into the ground and the Japanese fleeing Hollywood in a big bad way because they're like, this is a fool's errand. It's just a hole to put money into. So those dudes wound up with golden parachutes dropping out of Sony when it was in its worst financial conditions in years. And they landed separately. John Peters landed with an overall deal at Warner Brothers, one of the two. two projects he requested when he came in the door was the Muhammad Ali story and Superman. And I can't say this is why, but I've been to his office.

And if you recall, back in the 70s, there was an issue of Superman where he fought Muhammad Ali. Oh, no. And he had a giant blowup in his office framed of those two characters fighting. And I often suspect he was just like, what will my next two movies be? And he goes, here it is. So he was the guy. And so I had to go meet with him.

And when they sent me to meet with him, I was warned like he's a bit eccentric. And, you know, he's going to tell you some things that he wants in the movie that we don't. But go meet with him, blah, blah, blah. You got to get, he's the guy. If he likes you, you're on the job. We like you here at the studio. He's got to like you. So you go to meet him.

And he literally lives in an estate like here in Hollywood is over in Beverly Hills that is reminiscent of going up to Batman's house, to Bruce Wayne's house. Like, large property. And this is 96 at this point. So I haven't been around big affluent properties Yeah At this early in my career This is the biggest one I'd seen You get in and there's a fucking butler

And maid and somebody parks your car And there's like stables and shit Like grounds It was crazy Yeah So they bring me into a living room And he comes in He's guys like tennis shorts on

And he's tan and shit And he's very affable But very like I know who I am I run Hollywood kind of guy Yeah And he sits me down He goes

So they tell me that you like Superman like, let me hear it. I didn't see the movie. And this is all coming off of mall rats. In mall rats, I made a joke about Superman. They were like, you know a lot about Superman. I swear that, me. I met with an exact name, Basil Ewanick, who's gone on to do cool things.

I think he works with Ben on his last movie, on the town or something. But when I met with him, he's a junior exec. And they had a few projects. They were like, we've got this one called. It was, remember the end of the watchman? it was based on an episode of the Outer Limits. I think it was called Architects of Fear. Okay.

They had that. It was an episode of Outer Limits that they wanted to do as a feature. And they gave me a script, which to this day, I can't remember who wrote it. But they gave me the script to read. They're like, this is just weird. Like, see if you could do anything with this. And I read it. It was hands down one of the best scripts I've ever read in my life.

And I handed it back, I was like, this is flawless. You should make this. And they're like, it's an art film. And it kind of was. It was definitely more of like a Chris Nolan type of. action flick than anything else which in those days would have been a tough fucking sell. So I like that

I was like, I got nothing for this. I think you should just make this and they're like we're not going to. And they offer me two other things one was Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian which I was like, I love Beetlejuice but I think we said everything we need. I love this goes Hawaiian. That is like literally. That was what they wanted

to do. Did they have a script for that? They had one that looked like this. There was a ready draft and they wanted me to go in and I was like hanging me that guy. I also came with like, I liked working. I was happy to be in a business, but I also didn't want to be the guy that was like the person I would have made fun of if I hadn't

had clerks picked up. Like, who the fuck does a Beetleju sequel? Without him, you know, that guy. So, I said no to that. And he said, there's one more that's a real long shot, but we're trying to redevelop Superman. I was like, oh, Superman, I know comics and shit. And he's like, yeah, and I was like, yeah, man, I talked about, in mall rats, like, the

Brody character's a big fan of comic books. And he goes, that's why you're here. I said, why? He goes, because someone saw mallrats and said like, you talk about Superman and a kryptonite condom? And I was like, yeah. And he goes, well, they figured you had an original take on Superman. And I was like, that's not even original take, man. That's based on an essay called Man of Steel, Woman of Tissue, or something like that from back in the day.

They're like, well, you're going to read that essay, by the way. I didn't know that. That's fantastic essay. I didn't even, it wasn't even based on that. Years later, somebody was like, did you ever read Man and Steel Women of Tissue? Women of Tissue? Women of Tissue. I said, no.

They said, in it, they talk about how Superman Lois couldn't have sex because his sperm would, like, kill her forlopiator. Mine was based on an issue of a comic book, a Superman annual, that must have been taken from that. Sure. In the story, on the cover, I can't remember what issue it is,

but Superman is making out with Maxima on the grave of Lois Lane. And in it, in the story, one of these else world stories, he has sex with Lois Lane and kills her because his sperm didn't do it. She got pregnant, the baby kicked and killed her.

So I always remember reading that issue and be like, that's fucked up. So when I was writing mallrats, I include the joke about like Kryptoniccon and blast through her. back, like, and because of that, they were like, you know something about Superman. And there's something you know is sexy. Yeah, we like what you're saying about Superman. We want some of that fucking extraded

Superman condom shit in this movie. Dude turns his lights down. He's just like, just tell me that story again. Yeah. And I'll show you naked pictures of Streisand. I was like, can I go, man? It's really unnerving for me. I just want to work on Superman. But he goes, he listens to me. I don't have a pitch. They want it. They have a story they want to do, which is the death of Superman. There had already been a script before me written by Wesley Strick, which they didn't like. And I read it.

And the thing that stood out to me was that there was a moment where Superman goes into a therapist's office to be like, I'm Superman. Yeah. And that would never happen. But that felt like a Hollywood beat. That's almost to me akin to Batman in the Dark Night Rise. Everyone see that? Yeah. Okay.

But spoilers if you have it. Yeah, there go. They're on the roof and Catwoman's with them. Oh, yeah. And then she leaves and then he turns around and goes, So that's what that feels like. That would never happen in a million years. He would never do that.

Why would he, A, why would he use that voice out loud if he was alone? That's the thing I thought of too. Why is he talking to him? I was like, dude, there's nobody here. He's like, yeah, you're right. All right, yeah. It'd be awesome if he was like,

so that's what that feels like? Like he has a third voice. That would be memorable, man. People were like, oh, crap. Or if he's like, oh, fuck, you really did it again, Bruce. He is a Daniel Day Lewis superhero. He gets into the character.

Once he's in, that costume, that's it. Once the cowl is on, then it is on. The all sense goes away as it cuts off the brain part, and he decides to go with the voice. So I'm sitting there telling Peters, okay, I guess if you're going to do this, you do this, I wouldn't do this kind of stuff. I wouldn't, you know, be winking and knowing and shit in terms of like saying Superman's going to psychiatrists.

So I'm all done with whatever my pitch is. And again, it's not really my pitch. It's based on fucking the storyline they want to do, which is the death of Superman. So he looks at me, he's sitting on his couch, big living room. He looks at me

for a long heartbeat, man. And he goes, you and me are going to get Superman right. You know why? And at first I felt good because I was like, it sounds like I got a fucking job,

man. I said, why? And he goes, because you and me, we understand Superman. Do you know why? And I said, no.

He goes, because you and me are from the streets. Now, and he is from the streets originally. I don't know where he's from, but I am not. came up on those hard dress hair dressing hard knots the streets that led to barbara strisen very hard streets and i didn't want to say like i grew up in the suburb yeah it's this dude was a

hairdresser neither of us know the streets and he was littered and also remove that what's this fucking superman have to do with the streets the least street smart character really exactly just an alien who's yeah so he uh he was a guy i guess he'd come from not so much money because he talked about like you know, I used to go to wherever city he lived in that department store. He's like, and I used to go and just look at the window displays, the things they put. I mean, one of those people with nothing looks at

the image of something. It goes one day. A very movie moment. His life is a movie. A movie moment. He, and he only brought this up because when he came in, there was a setup in the middle of his living room that I swear to God looked like the floor of Nordstroms.

There was a piano and there was like what looked like a display with sweaters and shirts on it. No. I'm not fucking kidding. And I thought, so I was like, when I were in the middle of the place, I was like, well, maybe they were doing some kind of benefit here or something like that. But he was explaining to me that he always dreamed about having.

What? Wow. This is really crazy, though, because in, in, on Oprah, Barbara Streisand was interviewed. And in one of her homes, her entire basement is set up like a store, like a department store. Yeah, it's crazy. She came from no money. Is she one of these, like, I came from nothing? No, she came from nothing.

That is, I do know she came from nothing and had like a horrible mother. She had like a terrible childhood. But it's a funny image to come from nothing instead of just buying a lot, you create a store. It's very hot. It's like I gotta get dressed today. I'm just gonna go downstairs and buy an outfit.

Because I can't. That I already own. You could literally make the argument like she can't go to the store anymore and maybe she misses the experience of like walking onto the floor so she's created her own version in a Truman show like way.

But it really comes down to like I think it comes down to we always saw this as being a sign of wealth. Yeah. And so once we had so much crazy wealth where we had a house and many cars and everything's taken care of and we're just looking for shit to buy, we start buying our childhood back or images of what we think we wanted. I want to buy that in Nordstrom's. And he did. Oh, my God.

That would be the equivalent for me, I feel like, would be if I became incredibly wealthy and you came to my house and there was an arcade there. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Like that to me would be the, like, that is what. band-up games. But I got in my head around. Oh, yeah. Like that to me makes sense.

Like, that to me makes sense. Like, oh, my God, can you imagine if you had Dragon's Blair in my house? Always had access to joust. Yeah. But that's, okay, but you got a bunch of arcade games in your house. That's almost like, hey, everyone take a turn. Sure, sure. Yeah, yeah.

This ain't like, no, no, this is like a shop off the back. Like, what kind of discount? What kind of sweat is? Ooh, I want these cable bits. The best thing would be if he's out there and he's like, oh, none of these are my size. That's how he keeps himself. grounded. He keeps on like he just never is in its size. I love this

sweater but it's sold out in my size. He's the dude that's just like as his wealth decreases, the displays decrease. So it goes from Nordstrom to like right now in his career he's got a Ross set up. Filene's basement. Filings in the other room.

Pay less in the garage. He was a very strange eccentric to say the woods. He's from the streets. I'm from the streets. He's the one essentially says we're going to do this and he in the process of the movie. He had like notes that he wanted to do which were very

important. Number one, he goes, I don't want to see him in that suit. Number two, I don't want to see him flying. I think that shit looks fake in movies. So right away, you're like, if he's not in the suit and he's not flying, is it? Yeah, what do you have? Do you want to just make Batman again? I'm into that. Yeah, yeah. And then his third

thing was like, and he asked to fight a giant spider in the third act. I swear to you. And I was like, really? He goes, yeah, he's going, man, do you know anything about spiders? I said, no. He goes, I watch a lot of Discovery Channel. He's going, I watch this documentary about spiders, fiercest predators in the insect kingdom, absolute killers. He's going, and when I was a kid, I went and saw King Kong. And in King Kong, there's a moment where the doors open up and they reveal not King Kong for

the first time, but some other fucking monster or something like that. He's like, it was horrifying. And I envision a moment in this movie where the doors open up and Spider-Man has to fight a spider, Superman has to fight this giant spider. And a real spider, right? Giant, real spider. So I'm like, okay, if that's the directive, that wasn't in the death of. And I I've never seen that in the comics, but so be it. So I went back to the studio because they're like, report. What's going on over there? Because already, they're like, he's a nut bar.

So I was like, well, he said this, this, and they go, oh, as if they've heard it before. Right, right. And then I say, and then also he talked about and they go, wait, he wants to put a giant spider. I said, yes, how weird is that? He said he watched Discovery. He's going, John and that fucking spider. That was Lorenzo. Bono of the tour.

He goes, John and that fucking spider. I was like, he's trying to do it. He's, the dude was so into this spider thing. He tried to shoehorn it into the flick. And I was like, what do I do? And they were like, just call it anything but a spider. And I said, really? And they're like, just give them what he wants, but do not call it a spider, man.

Research shows, nobody cares about spider. And I was like, okay, what if I call a Thanagarian snare beast? They're like, perfect. So Thadagarian, I was like, right, on connects to Hawk Man and shit like that. And so Peters was like, what is this? And I was like, his Thanagarian snarebees. He goes, what is that? I was like Giant Spider in DC Comics.

He goes, oh, perfect. So I put that in, and he, you know, worked on that for a little while when I submitted the script. You can hear the entire story of that over at the evening with, first evening with Kevin Smith. Which is great. I tell the long Superman story. But in the interest of moving on to fucking Wild Wild Wild West. Eventually, the project comes to an end for me. They bring on Tim Burton.

And Tim Burton was like, I'm going to start from scratch with my own script. He brought on somebody else. My shit goes to the wayside. And that was it. Never thought about it again. I mean, thought about like, man, I worked on Superman. But I got a great story out of him. I was telling that story of Q&A's for years.

Then it went on the DVD. And that was, like, to me, that was the end of it. Then in 1999, I guess it was. I went to the movies to go see Wild Wild West, also produced by John Peters. And I'm watching a flick. And it is what it is, this bizarre little train wreck combination of many genres. But all of a sudden, this giant mechanical spider appears, man and I was like he got his spider

he finally got his spider it took him a long time but he got a much more expensive one and it also doesn't really make sense nope it feels like what was so great about that story is that it is so

shoehorned in it's like okay there's steampunk and there's stuff like that but now he got this 80 foot giant fucking spider as if the giant spider and the presumption in the movie what the movie contends is that Kenneth Branagh's possession of this giant spider is enough to bring the United States to its knees.

This one device itself will bring about the destruction of the union. This is the equivalent of a nuclear weapon in the age of the civil war. It might as well be. I bet that was their justification. But there's nothing to this even metaphor of the spider. There's nothing that Kenneth Brownock says about what the spider means to him. there's no connection at all to this spider that just appears. If he could, I think Kenneth Brana would have been like, ladies and gentlemen, I have nothing to do with it.

Hold on, guys. Kenneth Brana just walked in the studio. Just walked in the studio. We have a special guest right now, Kenneth Brana. I regret cheating on Emma Thompson so much. It's truly affected my career all the way up to Thor. It is. I mean, this spider is just, I mean, in it, and it's, and, it's, and, it's, it's, you know, it's,

Yeah, I don't know. It's badass. That's the words you're looking for. It's total badass. This movie might as well be called gears and pointless contraptions. Because that is every shot is just, the background is just moving parts. And always just like things are happening. A lot of money being spent in the background. A lot.

By the way. Thought being given to the foreground. To the way, I almost think that like that Kenneth Brauna's character is John Peters because he's obsessed with Spider. Like he clearly has a thing for Spada. They send a cake, a marzip pancake, to the president, and they're, oh, don't touch that. And all these spiders come out. And then, you know, and then he has like special discs made up with a giant spider on it. You have the blades.

But yeah, there's nothing. His flag has a spider on it. Yes, he's very, he is jumping. You know what's weird about that, man, like the plates that have the spider on. Yeah. I understand the dude's rich and I understand the movies to communicate impossible wealth. You see something like a giant spider. Very richy, rich style.

But could you imagine it's like even down to something like this disc is meant to be thrown away and destroyed? Yeah. Like you're never going to see it again. It launches. Whoever sees it is the person that loads the disc and the next person that sees this person like, it's coming at them and that's that. Why would you bother to be like imprint a spider on it? Yeah.

Could you carve it in? It's going to cost us hundreds of dollars to do this. It's going to cost you a little more. I know, but they mean so much to me. And you're not even involved in this transaction. You're not even like, I'm holding this disc of death with my. Spider emblem. As a matter of fact, when he goes to kill them, he leaves.

He doesn't even watch the distance that's loaded and launched. That's how fucking rich he is, dude. He's just like, put spiders on everything and kill people when I'm not here, man. I do want to point out, you know, there's a part in the movie where, you know, Will Smith and Kenneth Brown, or Will Smith and Kevin Klein are caught. They're going to get their heads cut off by these spider discs. And I would say one of the most disturbing parts of the movie is when Kenneth Brana talks about wanting to have sex with Salma Hayek with potentially his robot.

Dick, and which I'll play for you right here. Who knows? I might even become familiar with her myself. That'd be one more reason for me to kill you. Oh, yes, Mr. West, I'm sure to a no doubt, well-endowed, black and more like yourself, it must seem absolutely impossible that a freak like me could fully

enjoy the pleasure of a woman. But haven't witnessed my use of mechanology thus far. Wouldn't you think that I could advise something for the lower half of my body that was hard pumping and end up faredically steely? And, speaking of hard Pumpin. Mr. Coleman, full steam. What?

Just talks about building a giant robot dildo to... Do you think that was consummated by the time she was left? Because she stays with him on that train. Well, she is visibly pregnant with a robot baby. At the end of the movie. This movie... Does he use a robot wiener on? Well, they've got that...

I don't know. Just took a jump. I don't know. I wish he did. And remember, when she's trapped in the bird cage in his house, the bed has all of those, like, sex contraptions. She's like, I don't want to get on that. I don't want to do that.

Yeah. Like, it is clearly just like robot cock sex-a-thon in this movie that we never see. This guy. Although we do see, I think we see Will Smith's balls from behind at the very beginning. That's what I thought too. Right? It's great. We definitely saw his nuts from behind.

Will Smith is naked in the beginning of movie after bathing in a water tower, which is not sanitary. He lives. He appears to live in a water tower at the beginning of this movie. They're hanging out in this giant water tower in the middle of town. It's like a hot tower. tub in the sky. Which meanwhile, is everyone else's drinking water, I would imagine. No, no, it's for fires, isn't it?

Oh, is it for fires? I think so. I thought it was drinking water. That would be disgusting. That would be disgusting. You're taking it into ridiculous around. We can put out our fires with cum-drenched water, but not put it in our mouths. But yes, Will Smith's balls may or may not have made an opinion.

Oh, definitely. Well, there's a lot of ass in this movie, too. Salma Hayek's ass. Byling's ass. Byling is, I mean, like, a real favorite of this show. Yes, by lane, we are huge fans of crank two. We had the directors of crank two in here, and we talked extensively about how amazing. She is.

She's in that as well? She's in that. Oh, she's in next level. Oh, if you've not seen Crank Two, do yourself favor. She threw away the dialogue. Oh, yeah, she threw away the dialogue. And just started saying crazy shit. She's subtitled and she's speaking in English.

They were like, well, what do we do? And they were like, let her do it. Oh, it's, you'll go crazy if you want it. She's unleashed. She's unleashed. Really? It's unreal. She's subtitled.

Southland Tales. I was in Southland Tales as well, which I imagine one day you guys will get around. And she was... I feel like we're going to have you on for a bunch of jobs. This is how we sneak you on with somebody else's movie. Totally. And then we get you hooked. It's just like today's movie's Jersey.

You guys suck. I guess it's my time. Today, we're doing Jersey Girl again today. We have Kevin Smith back. Because Kevin's still not over. But yeah, there's a lot of asses in this movie. By-Ling relatively restrained in this movie. but there's some crazy stuff

and here again the lynching scene there's a scene where Will Smith is going to get lynch but before he gets lynched they let him do like a couple minutes of stand-up before he gets

as you did in the old West sure let us speak is mine there is such a dichotomy in this movie between like absolutely no attention paid to race and maximum attention

paid to race in the worst way well that's the strange it's like every about 15 minutes or so, the movie drops into some real historical, social context. That's very dark

and upsetting. And then we're lifted right out of a second later. It's the craziest. With like some goofball invention from Kevin Klein. That must have been the pulp fiction influence. We're like, no, we can go dark. Yeah. And then zip it right back to funny. Well, I can feel like the movie doesn't know.

It feels like it's one of those movies where it's like, uh, we're funny and we're serious. And we're like, it's too much. It's trying to please too many people. We don't know what we are, but we know one thing. We're not the Matrix. Yeah. Well, there is also my, in the end of end battle where they're in this giant spider, there's

also a robot, just a man, a Frankenstein man who is a robot that Will Smith tries to fight. He punches him in the face and you hear clang, punches him in the stomach, clang, punches him in the nuts, clang, and he's like, uh-oh, got a robot. And this robot's about ready to kick Will Smith's ass until for no reason he short circuits. Yep. To nothing of, no one did anything to him. Oh, I know what happened. Somewhere there's about three minutes of robot fight footage that, like, when they

screened it eight times, was so lead and they were like, just pretended short of it. Yeah. Like, we're so close to the credits. That's good enough. That's just get out of here. We've got to bring it home back. Come on. I felt like a lot of times there was huge pieces of exposition missing that I was like, how did he get here?

The movie appears to take place in about 72 hours. Yes. They travel across the United States. From D.C. to New Orleans. Yeah, Utah. Yeah, Utah. I mean, like, it's met, the amount of space they charge. And there is so much dramatic slow-moving train action.

Like, the entire movie is, it's attentive to the action as if it's like the French connection car chase, but it is slow-moving single-track locomotives. There is nothing happening on these trains. There is a lot of time. Time has passed, and now this character's on the train. Wait, how did she get on the train? What happened? They're like, they're like two days.

Some of Hayek drops in on. that train. There's no explanation of how she got there. Right. Yeah. I know how she got there. She was on the dogma set. She got the part while we're making dogma and then she left early to go do fittings and do pre-shoot footage and stuff while she was shooting on the flick. So she'd come back and we'd be like, what's it like, man? Because again, these cats are coming off men in black and

black's a pretty amazing movie. But she thought it was going to be very, very impressive as we all did. She was, she came from our movie, went to that movie. And I remember going to see that movie and being like, I wish she'd stayed on our movie. Did you have to cut her out of stuff in dogma because she couldn't No, but I got a lot of people going like I couldn't follow the accent. Which now in

the age of Bain, I don't feel so bad. Even he was speaking English. About Expendables too. In the first 10 minutes, like, I don't understand what these guys are saying. Really? Yeah, because it's like everyone, oh, blah. It's like a lot of grumble. It's a lot of grumbling in the first 10th. A little low end.

I did like Expendables too because I like movies like that. And it's dumb and fun. Should we do it for this show? You know, it would be like in the side of the good side, like the cranks and the punitive. Maybe. This got made. Yeah, yeah. Like, we love Fast Five. Like, it was like, yes, this movie is insane. It needs to be talked

about, but we are loving it. And yeah, I mean, it's great. Schwarzenegger, amazing. Only talks and references to every other person's movie. Really? He says, I'll be back at least three times. Oh, my God. And references Rambo references, like, it's,

the whole movie is just referencing everything that they've all been. Tell me, he goes like, Yippee Kaya. He does. No. Yes. Really? By the way, listeners, Arnaut Schwarzenegger, not in the studio. Tell me in that scene, they cut to Bruce, and you just see a little bit more of his soul

dying. Well, you could tell. What I felt like was this. I felt like they shot Bruce Wells out in like two days. And I thought, oh. I also felt that they were like, okay, Bruce, would you say Yippie Kyei? Because everyone's saying they're kind of their catchphrases. You know, Van Dam does it.

Schwarzenegger. Everyone does their catchphrase. Like, come. Like, are you know, from Bloodsport, you know, like, a very... That's my catchphrase as well. With my lady, I'm like, come. It never works, but I try it. But everyone's, like, kind of reliving a moment of their past.

And they were like, Bruce, will you say Yipikaya in this moment? It kind of fit the moment. And he was like, no. And then they're like, oh, you're saying, will you say it instead? And he's like, yeah. Give me $1,000 and I'll say it. Basically, Bruce follows off the screen. and then, and then,

Schwarzeney goes, Yippekeye. Oh my God, that's amazing. It's crazy. It was like, they were like, oh, yeah, we'll just keep the same side of the movie.

We got to do that movie. And maybe our guest will be Kenneth Branagh to discuss it. She knows Kenneth Brunner was doing so much wheelchair spinning in this movie. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Kenneth Brana, every time he's on screen, he's just spinning in a circle at all times.

Just spinning round and round. Oh, man. I'm just trying. Like a record baby? Yeah. Round, round, round. Also, June, you brought up a very good point here earlier when we're talking about this.

Will Smith constantly ripping on Kevin Kevin Klein's inventions that work. The inventions work the entire time. He's like, oh man, you and your crappy inventions. It's like, you killed the guy with his invention. You got saved your life by his invention. All the time. All the time it works.

Let's try a new plan and maybe this time it'll work. It's worked every single time. Every single time. The bulletproof vest, the flying machine, dressing and drag. You're as difficult to please as my mother. How about the weird scene? How about the fucking scene where they are comparing fake tits?

Oh, yes. I love that. This is how the two heroes bond. I love every second of that scene. And they're just like, you know, feel my boot breast, whatever he's saying, oh, yeah, oh, it feels, oh, it feels terrible. Now try feeling my, and Eminet Walsh is watching the whole thing and he's going, I knew it. You know, like, so weird. Yeah, she's so crazy because what did he know, do he thinks that they're not, they're not men dressed as women.

There are men feeling each other's male breasts. Okay. All right. You're on, you're into that. Okay. All right. Now I get it. Now I'm laughing.

I think when you make a movie like this that's meant to be as mainstream as that, like if you're a spend, there should be a studio mandate in the rulebook that says if you're going to spend upwards of, I would say 100, but let's bring it down to 75. You have to have a representative from every generation that you're actually trying to court in the theaters on set when you're doing comedy. So you need a 10 year old, 20 year old, 30 year old, 40 year old, 50 year old, 60 year old. If you're going to that your demographic. And then you play that fucking, all right, the boys are going to feel. each other's boobs and then you go down the line.

10 year olds. Is this good? Like it. Totally. 20 year olds. Is this still funny? Pretty good. 30 year olds. How are you feeling about this? Not bad. This is awesome. I like working with an actor because suddenly you're in a seat. 40 year olds, man.

All right. Yeah. It's a little risque. And then suddenly starts to fall apart. 50 year olds? You know, I could do without the boob stuff. And 60 year olds. I liked it. Bring back that too. I like it. I liked it.

But they should, man, because that's like, that's like I saw a Did you see the watch? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, the watch has a moment in it where Vince Vaughn picks up a rushing nesting doll and opens it. And he's like, oh, my God, there's another doll in here in his Vince Vaughn way. Fine. One reveal. And I'll buy that this motherfuckerucker has never heard of the concept of something within something.

They carry this out, dude, all the way to the smallest. To the, and, you know, like there's a theory of comedy where there more you do it. It's funny and then it's fucking dumb Then it goes back to me and funny This is the Mr. Show Thimble sketch This ain't that though This is like the exception that proves that rule Because you're like please don't keep that

Oh yeah And you realize they left this in This is the one that they thought it was awesome But if that's awesome What the fuck did they cut out And if you think that's awesome You need to have a representative Of every age group going like

I think this is shit Like if you're sitting around doing the boob Feeling joke And you got a 25 year old kid there He'd be like dude, this ain't fucking funny. Yeah. Like, have him stick his fist up his ass.

Oh, that's good. Let's do that instead. Well, did you feel like, did you ever get notes? Like, I mean, like, I guess like the most studio, like the biggest studio thing, I guess mall rats and then like cop out, right? So like, did you get those kind of notes on cop out when you were doing it? Not until we started testing. They were pretty good.

Like, in terms of working, I always thought I was taught that the studio was great Satan and fucking like, all they do is make crap. We make art. They make crap. And the philosophy that we were taught was they set out to make crap. They just want your fucking mind. And I haven't worked inside. Like nobody.

There's no fucking, there's no Kenneth Brana sitting in a spinning wheelchair fucking telling people, we're going to steal the audience as money with crap. They're all trying to do something that they think is good or funny or irrelevant or at least, you know,

fucking popular or something like that. So having gone through the system of them, they were lovely. Like I kept waiting for the, you know, aha, these fucking bagels! You said there'd be everything, but there's just onion. I knew the studio lied.

They were lovely. Until post. But you check that bagel plate every day. Every bad. Flip all side. Oh, wait. No, it's here.

We're good. My bad. My bad. So nobody touched it until I checked the plate. Please. Will Smith's character was an escaped slave at the age of war. He was taken from his family. He lived with Indiana.

He ran away. He ran away. No, because Wild Wild West, he's a white guy. Yeah. So essentially, they're doing the story of Django Unchained. Yeah, exactly. It is. Yeah, absolutely.

Which, ironically, Will Smith was He didn't want to do. Because he'd already done it, Wild Wild West. He was like, I've done this movie. It's called the Wild Wild West, and I'm very proud of it. I can't approve on it. I was watching this movie going on the ball. Does your movie have a giant spider, Quentin?

That's why he, that's like, Quentin took so long, that's the end of the Django now. The giant spider comes back. They come across. Christop Waltz is in it. They come across the giant spider that had died in this movie, right? And they come across it, they revive it, and the rest of the movie takes place in that. What they do is they feel. find all those plates with the spider emblem

buried into them and they build a new spider from the record. I would love like a weird film joke if people just started putting props from this movie in other movies. As if it was like archaeologists discover these plates with spiders on them. And all the ladies had spider dresses at the big ceremony. Oh yeah.

Now you know why. It's because John Peters is the producer and he's just like kids love spiders. John Peters also, oh not John Peters but Will Smith also plays Muhammad Ali in a movie. A lot of... A lot of John Peters.

Really? Yes. Same guy. His name's on it. Oh, that's interesting. What did he have to do with it? That depends. As I said before, I know he's involved with Batman.

I know he's involved in main event because he can tell you lots of stories. But his name could be on a lot of things. He took credit for on Batman. This blew my mind. This is what I've instantly fell in love with John Peters in a way of like you fall in love with fucking wacky dictators who aren't going to affect your life anymore because you're going to fucking never be in. in contact with him again.

I was a big Batman fan. Huge Batman fan of Tim Burton's 19-N-N-N-Batman. So whenever he talked about it, I was heading my hands listening and shit. And he would say things like, you know, I was going out with Vicky Vale, right? And I was like, really? Did you have to joke over for dinner? Like, you could say her name, dude. I'm well aware of the Kim Bessinger played Vicki Vale.

But he said this. He goes, I said, one of the things I love in that movie, dude, is so fucking tight is when the dude pops over the wall and starts fighting and Batman blocking his sword with his gauntlets. and he goes, that was mine. And I go, really? He's going, I brought that guy in. That guy's a real sword fighter. You know why that movie made $300 million? And I go, why? He goes, that scene.

And I go, why? He goes, because that was real jeopardy. And that guy came over the wall with the swords, man. You got to see Batman in action. And so that's why that movie works. See, when you watch Tim Burton's Batman, realize it's nothing. It's not the story. It's not Anton First City Design, the Batmobile, the Moody performance by Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson's sublime Joker,

No-Doo. Princess soundtrack. It literally comes down to the guy who jumps over the wall and throws a few bad swords. Not to rip on Bruce Willis, but when I heard Bruce Willis talk about Diehard, he goes, the reason why people like the original diehard is because he likes, people like the humor of a New Jersey guy caught in this situation.

It's like, I don't know if that's the catch-all of why that movie is successful. The Jersey humor of John McClain. this. He's like, you know why that made money? Because of me. Yeah. That's it. Essentially, that's what he said. And what is it about me? It's probably because I'm from Jersey. My jersey humor, people really like, I like that Jersey humor.

The end of the movie, you know, the main character has his like final line, like, you know, diplomatic community, whatever. And this one... Final line, diplomatic community. That's lethal weapon, too. It's been revoked. Dmitic immunity. This one, he just basically throws Kenneth Brana

out of the giant spider, and then he goes, now that's a whoopin. But it really isn't. It's more of like that's a throwing. Like it was like they couldn't they have found a way to whip him with some chains or do, like if you want, if you're going to end on a line, you should have the. Or make you somehow of him having a half body. I thought that that was going to play into his death at somehow in the end, not at all.

And by the way, if only I'd had a leg, I could have lived. Every bad guy, every bad guy in this movie, Ted Levine, that's his name, right? Yes. Yeah. And Kenneth Brana, all the bad guys have such uneventful deaths and deaths that are so circumstantial to the good guys. The good guys barely do any.

Like, it's almost like they were like, well, our guys can't really kill people. So we'll have Kenneth Branagh's people shoot Ted Levine, and then Will Smith can have a comeuppance with him, but he's already dead. And then Kenneth Brana and Will Smith both fall out of the spider, and Will Smith just doesn't save Kenneth Brana, so he dies.

So it's like they never, meanwhile, they're shooting, Will Smith shoots like 2,500 people in this movie. He's always killing people. There's no, there's no danger. The only person he meets his match with is the Frankenstein, which is not explained and then short circuits. Well, and in terms of story, you would think that that final beat had something to do with Will Smith,

like accepting industry in his life and accepting somehow that the gadgets were going to help him. No, it just boils down to race at the last moment, which is not what this movie's about. Nope. Now, clearly we had an opinion about this movie, but there are people who have a different opinion, so it is now time for a second opinion. These are reviews cold from Amazon. I just would like to read you guys this one. Ed B. writes, honestly, this is in my top 100 favorite movies of all time.

Out of the thousands that I have seen. Wow. Five-star review. That's huge. I like that guy. I want to show him my one. This is another great one. Evan Orozco writes,

Wild Wild West is the greatest and most funniest movie in the world. A true classic, the best of the best. Bai Ling is so sexy and has the sexiest assed. Buy this movie. Five stars. And then this is... Most funniest negates that entire review. I'm a grammar Nazi and most funniest.

He lost me at that point. But it is the most funny. It is. Come on. To be fair. Perilus Mew writes, this movie was great. The interactions between Will Smith and Kenneth.

Brana are a piece of comedic cinema history. But it would have been nice to have a good female character. Put someone like Madeline Khan or Bernadette Peters in a roll. It would have been pants wettingly funny. Did my grandmother write this letter back during while she was watching the Carol Burnett show? Vicki Lawrence should be in this movie. What was missing was Marmy Borman. And he writes, Mel Brooks seems to be the only director who understands how to cast women in

comedies. Still five stars. I have some problems, but still five stars. Mel Brooks did it. Madeline Khan. Wow. Well, this has been so great to have you, Kevin. I was talking to you before we started talking about the show.

I am obsessed with your new show on Hulu called Spoilers. This is a legitimate I am a fan of this show. It's so fun to watch. You bring a bunch of people to a movie. You talk about it honestly, and then you interview someone from, yeah, it's If you haven't seen it yet, you can pop over to Hulu. It's free. You can watch it.

We tried to do like a movie review show, but a show about movies where you could talk about movies, but not like, here's our scale. And it gets this and blah, blah, blah, blah. I think it's the best way to watch a movie review show, just to have an audience because it's like different people and you're like, oh, I like that guy. It's a fun. And think about like Siskel and Ebert were two strangers who you grew to know over years is, oh, they were review movies. But it's not like there were, you know, fucking experts or worked in the business or something like that. People will say, Rodriever Road fucking Beyond the Valley.

I understand. I understand. He's done some work as well. But in that way, there was, like you were listening to people pontificate. When you watch spoilers, it's more about like you're watching people, real people. Just talk about movies. Yeah. And it's also kind of like the way you talk about movies with your friends where like even shit you hate, you don't go like, oh, it was a cinematic abortion.

No stars, thumbs down. You just go like, this part was awesome. This part was fucking stupid. That's what we do here. That's what we do here. So definitely check out spoilers. And a big reminder to watch NTSF SDSUV. It is the show that I do on Adult Swim with June.

This week's episode is a Martin episode. Alison Bree is in this episode. It's one of my favorites. It's called Sabathage, a return of Kerry Kinney. So definitely check that out at 1215. Jason's coming up in an episode in a little bit. Fuck yeah. Children's Hospital back on the air?

Children's Hospital, yeah. It's great stuff. So check out Adults on Thursday. We had Alan Ackerman on. Who is so funny and so great. So thanks to everybody. Thanks to Brett, our engineer, Carolyn Julia, everybody here at Earwolf by our bilingual-inspired. How did this get made T-shirts?

We'll see you next time. Bye-bye.