Instant Genius - Why mental resilience is a skill we can all learn

Episode Date: January 19, 2026

At some points in our lives, we all face challenges or setbacks or find ourselves in difficult situations that can ultimately have a profound effect on our mental health and wellbeing. During such times, we need to draw on our reserves of mental resilience. But what techniques and strategies can we employ to develop this vital mental resource to enable us to better cope with whatever life throws at us? In today’s episode, we’re joined by psychologist and therapist Emanuela Brun to talk about ways we can all build our mental resilience. She tells us what happens in our brains when we’re faced by challenging situations, why we shouldn’t shy away from failure, and shares some strategies and techniques that can help us all bounce back from difficult situations. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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combine handcrafted tradition with cutting-edge innovation and high-end materials, delivering digital precision with analog warmth, so you can experience exceptional sound at home. Music just as the artist intended. Visit name audio.com to learn more. Hello and welcome to Instant Genius, a bite-sized masterclass in podcast form. Every Monday and Friday, you'll hear world-leading scientists and experts

talking about the most fascinating ideas in science and technology today. I'm Jason Goodyear, commissioning editor of BBC Science Focus. At some points in our lives, we all face challenges or setbacks, or find ourselves in difficult situations that can ultimately have a problem. profound effects on our mental health and well-being. During such times, we need to draw on a reserves of mental resilience. But what techniques and strategies can we employ to develop this mental resource to enable us to better cope with whatever life throws at us? In today's episode, we're joined by psychologist and therapist Immanuel O'Brien to talk about ways we can all build

our mental resilience. She tells us what happens in our brains when we're faced by challenging situations, why we shouldn't shy away from failure and share some strategies and techniques that can help us all bounce back from difficult situations. So welcome to the podcast. Thanks so much for joining us. Thank you so much for having me. It's great being here, actually. So today we're talking about mental resilience. So first off, you know, what do we actually mean by that term? So actually, that's a great question because I think there is a huge misunderstanding about this topic lately. I think that it's mostly about protecting our peace, which of course is part of it.

And like sometimes it's also connected with avoiding certain circumstances. While in reality, emotional resilience is basically the complete opposite. So the more we teach our brain to be able to handle situations and our nervous system to be able to handle difficulties and let's say difficult people, difficult situations, etc., the more we can become resilient, not by avoiding, let's say, situations, but on the contrary, by being able to handle them. So what are some sort of common examples of situations that we're talking about here? So, for instance, the avoidance of conflict, I would say.

Many people have a strong idea that conflict is a very bad thing or that conflict is necessarily toxic or the fact that having a conflict, with a person means fights, screaming, swearing, etc. But on the other hand, conflict is a very healthy aspect of the human nature and what do I mean by that? By having a healthy conflict, which means that being able to set boundaries or communicate our feelings in a healthy way and things that perhaps have bothered us means that by this way we can actually protect our peace and also protect our relationship with the other person. So how about other things like moments of big change. For example, somebody may lose their job or unfortunately a loved one

or somebody in their family passes away. Is that something else that can trigger this sort of situation? Yeah, of course, absolutely. And that's also a great input that you've added because the fact is that life is extremely uncertain. Everything that has to do with our life, the human nature and in general, let's say planet Earth, comes with extreme uncertainty. So the fact is that we need to become comfortable with the fact of being uncomfortable and the fact that everything is uncertain. So basically, we don't have control over anything. The thing that we can actually do is to do our best, be present, be aware that we have to make some effort for certain things, our relationships, to have a good, let's say, communication with others, et cetera.

But the thing is that uncertainty is part of human life. So it's very important to be aware of that. And let's say to prioritize management over avoidance. So we'll have a look at some of the sort of techniques and strategies that we can use in a bit. But let's have a look at the brain. So what's actually happening in our brains where we're confronted with one of these situations?

So basically, our brain is made to keep us alive. So it's not concerned about feeling loved or being in a healthy environment or having healthy relationships or anything. And also for our brain, social interactions equal survival because we are beings that survived thanks to collaboration, thanks to being part of a community. So as I said also that our brain is. priority is to keep us alive. Also, one important thing is that we learn everything. What do I mean by that? The same way that we learn to talk, to walk, to speak, to use the keyboard, to go on a bike,

etc. The same way we learn how to deal with emotions. So if, for instance, we grew up in a toxic environment, perhaps, and there was, there were extreme situations or a specific type of love, let's say, provided, we translate this way of behaviors as love. So that's the thing, that our brain learns everything. So we don't get to choose our family, we don't get to choose our hometown, we don't get to choose our siblings. So certain, in some, sometimes we have to unlearn certain things. So what do I mean by that? That one, our brain is made for survival. And two, we learn how to deal with our feelings. So certain times our brain might get triggered because perhaps of a past experience or of a threat that in the past might have seemed dangerous, while in reality it might not be the

case. So we have to, let's say, reprogram and retrain our brain that certain situations are not necessarily threatening our survival or are not necessarily dangerous for us. So we have to, let's say, in a way, reprogram slash rewire our brain. Okay, so let's have a look into that a little bit more deeply then. So what sort of techniques can we employ to do that? Say, you know, we've noticed we've reached a sort of point of crisis and we think, oh, I really need to do something about this. What are some of the first steps that we can take to go about this reprogramming?

So, of course, as a therapist, I would say that one very important part, which would be very helpful towards this journey is therapy, of course, because a very good therapist can be very helpful and can guide us towards a safer, let's say, reacting towards things. Of course, if I might add here, the fact is that finding a therapist is not always easy, so people should not get, let's say, disappointed because it's part of the process. It's like searching for a house. We might not immediately find the perfect house, and so we might need to keep searching. But that's part of the process. People should not get disappointed. Should be aware of that. So I should say, firstly, that therapy is a great asset towards

reprogramming and rewiring and being able to handle better experiences. Then one other thing I would say that is extremely important. I would say is journaling, because journaling helps us, let's say break down our thoughts, and sometimes thoughts that might seem huge and very dangerous and very threatful, they might be way smaller and way easier to handle. And journaling help us also swift our focus towards what matters to us and also be able to re-evaluate how we, let's say, processed a certain situation back then. So I would say journalist is extremely important. Then something else that is also very, very important, that's also scientifically proven, is not just let's say latest social media trend, is gratefulness. We need to be grateful. Let's say our brain has

a tendency which is called negativity bias. What's that? Let's say it has this focus to identify threats and certain times it focuses on the negative aspects, while in reality positive aspects might be way more. So gratefulness is a very important practice because it helps us identify and swift our focus towards the positive things that there are out of a situation. Because always, in every, every instance, there are positive and negative aspects,

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name audio creates systems that deliver exceptional sound, and unforgettable listening experiences at home. Try it for yourself at a focal powered by name boutique. Visit focal powered by name.com for more information. So how about something else I wanted to ask? It's about confidence. So oftentimes when people are undergoing stress or periods of change, they tend to lose their confidence or start suffering from low self-esteem, which only leads to the problem getting

worse and worse. So are there any sort of techniques or strategies that we can employ to help, you know, build our confidence and our self-esteem? So that's actually a very, very important part because also I do believe that confidence is sometimes a bit misunderstood because when things go well, it's extremely easy to feel confident and be happy because the environment is extremely helpful. Real confidence, I think, shows when things are not going well and when we are able to perform in chaos. So, of course, that's not something that we are born with. We actually learn to have confidence. No person is born with confidence. It's a skill that we acquired during our lifetime.

So the thing is, as I said, that being confident when everything goes right is not, I wouldn't say it's necessarily real confidence. So, as I said earlier, it's very important to be aware of uncertainty, to be aware that, let's say, failures are actually great, are extremely important, are the biggest part of success, and people should not be afraid of failures. On the contrary, they should be happy about failing because it means they tried. There is no big entrepreneur, great athlete, great singer that has not failed multiple times before becoming great. So failure is great, we love it, we want people to fail because that means that they're growing, they're learning and they're, let's say, oriented towards growth.

So, as I said, it's important to understand that this is part of the journey. And also, to be aware that sometimes life gives us lessons. So I do notice lately, especially in my therapy sessions, that people tend to be extremely self-critical. So that's also a very important part to, let's say, notice our self-talk, because the way that we speak to ourselves, it's extremely important. Our brain has a hard time recognizing what's real and what's not real. So if we, let's say, have a bad moment and we tend to think, oh, you're stupid, you're

incapable, you haven't done it, et cetera, that's very bad because then the body consequently gets into a punishment mode, et cetera. While if we switch, let's say, this self-talk in a more compassionate way by saying, okay, you failed, but it's great, at least you tried. Next time, you will be more aware of the things that didn't went well and you will do your best. So it has to do a lot with the way we see things, let's say. Yeah, so oftentimes when we're in this sort of state, our minds kind of get stuck in a negative loop that's difficult for us to get out of. So let's have a look at some things that we can do to perhaps, you know, take our minds off these problems, you know.

Thinking about maybe you would say taking up a new hobby or something like that help. So first of all, being well and feeling well requires effort. It's not something that's, let's say, just given to us. And that's the important, a very important part that I think people, it would be very, it would make their lives, our lives, easier if we understand this aspect of life. So the fact is that feeling well requires effort. So it's important to keep the promises that we give to ourselves. So for instance, if we keep saying that we will do something and then we don't actually do it, of course our self-confidence drops. And this would happen with any person. I mean, if I speak

with a friend of mind and they keep telling me that they will do something that they ask, them to, but they keep ignoring it. Of course, I lose my trust and they lose their credibility because, let's say, what we agreed on, it's not actually being processed. So it's important to keep the promises that we give to ourselves and also to keep showing up for ourselves. What do we mean that, for instance, if we say, I will go to the gym tomorrow, as I said, it requires effort to be well. So it's important to take our promises seriously. This does not mean that we have to punish ourselves or to force us do things that we don't want to, but it's important to be aware and try to make effort for what's best for us. Yes, you mentioned going to the gym there, and I think we all know, you know, physical exercise is good to keep our bodies healthy.

But can doing physical activity, going to the gym, say going jogging, can that also help us deal with these stressful situations when they do occur? Absolutely, of course, one million percent. Actually, what I always say also to my sessions, to my therapy sessions, to my clients, is actually that if we, let's say, just this regard, the positive aspects that working out has for our physical health, I think that the positive aspects that there are regarding our mental health are even more. Working out, so first of all, it's important to keep in mind that our brain is one of our organs, is not something separate. So our brain is interconnected with the rest of our body being one of our organs. So when we work out, we get more mental clarity. And of course, our brain,

brain produces lots of endorphins which are our body's natural painkillers. And this is also, first of all, it makes us feel good and secondly, it makes us feel happier. Thirdly, as I said, it gives us mental clarity. And at last, if we, for instance, if we work out in the nature, that's even better because it's scientifically proven that our mind feels way happier when being in nature because also when we see green, when we are in a forest, when we see trees, this reinforces the production of endorphins. So this is extremely important. The benefits that working out has for our mental health are incredible. So, I mean, currently there's been a lot of talk that we're facing a loneliness epidemic. You know, more and more people are feeling

isolated, feeling lonely, feeling, you know, separated from society at large. So, I mean, does this have a confounding effect on the sort of situations we're talking about. And, you know, do we have any strategies there if somebody is feeling isolated and lonely? You know, what can they do to sort of get them out of there? So, of course, there is a saying that actually says that the best thing for your brain is another human being and the worst thing for your brain is another human being. So I do agree that there is a loneliness epidemic, let's say lately, but on the one hand, I think that it's also important to filter out, let's say, with what kind of people we surround ourselves with. And then, on the other hand, of course, having people around us, I think it's the most

precious aspect of life, because that's what life is about, basically. But we have also to keep into consideration that many people don't have the opportunity to have a great family or siblings or, let's say, a social environment that it's very supportive. And that's where I think it's our responsibility to put ourselves out there and create a social circle that makes us happy and makes us feel safe and makes us, let's say, makes our life better and with more love. So I do believe that all these are interconnected. And why do I mean that?

Because, for instance, if we find a hobby, let's say, work out. there are infinite ways to work out. So, for instance, many people like to do Pilates, other people like to play tennis, other people go to the gym, other people just go for a walk or go running. It does not necessarily have to be something expensive. It can also be something very cost-efficient.

So that's something, for instance, having a hobby can bring us closer to people that have similar mindset with us. But I think the most difficult part is the first step, is to start, to try, because many people are afraid that they won't be good enough or that perhaps they won't make any friends or that people might make fun of them. But let's say that is a risk that can happen everywhere. People will always think of things about us. Perhaps they will like us. Perhaps they won't like us. But, and that's okay. That's not a problem. Not everyone

will like us. And in return, we will not like anyone back. So I think it's important to be aware that starting a hobby has infinite benefits and also the potential that it has is very, very big. Of course, there are some risks, but this is just part of life and it has nothing, nothing to do with our self-worth. So I think that making the first step, it's great. It's a huge step of growth and I think that it can lead to great opportunities. So let's go back to the earlier point that we mentioned it and that's seeing a therapist. So say somebody's decided to go to see a therapist, What can they expect say in the first session? What happens?

So first of all, I think that we should also mention the detail that we spoke about earlier as well, that the chances are really high that in the first session, perhaps, I hope it will be a match, but the chances are high that perhaps it won't be a match. And that's part of the process. Finding the right match, its person finding the right match and the right therapist for them, is very, very important. and they should not give up because it's not about the therapist's approach, but it's also about the vibe, the match, the expertise, the approach, how confident the person feels to

speak to the therapist, how much they can connect in a mental level. So, for instance, certain people have certain preferences. For instance, I would like my therapist to be a woman or a man or a queer person or an older person or that's extremely valid. We should understand that if that makes the other person feel safe, that's okay. It's great. It's a good filter. So this person is good to put, let's say, their preferences into consideration. And regarding the first session with the therapist, I would say, or at least in my experience, is I always say to my clients that we should see how it goes the first three sessions and see if I can help you and also if I'm a good match for you because

you need to feel confident and you need to feel safe to speak and talk to me clearly. So usually it takes up to three sessions to see if a therapist will say it's a good match for the client and vice versa. And usually in the start or at least in my approach is important to speak about what brought the person here, why they decided to start therapy. If they've done therapy before, how was their experience? What, let's say, triggered them to start therapy if something happened lately, like if there was an event that made them warrior, made them sad, that it was, let's say, the final call for that. And to get a bit, let's say, some information about them or about their family, their upbringing, and to have a better understanding of

client. Yeah, so we've talked about quite a lot there. So generally, sort of the final message really then is if somebody listening is struggling in this way, there's hope for them, there's help out there and there are strategies that they can use. Of course, absolutely, 100%. And of course, there is hope. Of course, there are amazing therapists out there and therapy can be a great tool for people and it's also important to recognize the importance of mental health. We do not see the impact that mental health has on us just because our brain is hidden under our skull. So we do not see the changes that there might be if a person goes through depression, PTSD or other, let's say, this type of situations. But it's important to understand the importance of mental health

and that mental health equals physical health, because as I said earlier, our brain is one of our organs, is part of our body, and it's interconnected with the rest of our body. Thank you for listening to this episode of Instant Genius, brought to you from the team behind BBC Science Focus. That was Immanuel O'Brien. If you liked what you just heard, then please do consider subscribing to Instant Genius

on your preferred podcast platform. If you'd like to see our guests and hosts in person, then please also check out our YouTube channel at ScienceFocus. The current issue with BBC Science Focus magazine is out now. Pick up a copy wherever you buy your favourite magazines or download us on your app store of choice. You can also find us on Apple News or online at sciencefocus.com. This podcast is sponsored by Name, Audio and Focal.

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