Jessica Kaylee - Follow The Beauty Standards or ELSE Season 2

Episode Date: June 20, 2026

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Are you one of those media strategy people clicking through slides, scrolling spreadsheets? Yes? Good. This is for you. Because on Spotify, there's an audience that's different. Locked in. Loyal, invested. They're called fans. Fans don't just listen to music. They feel seen by it, like it belongs to them. So when your brand shows up on Spotify, that's who you're talking to. And you're right next to artists like me, Lizzo. So, are you ready to talk to fans? Spotify Advertising. You're among fans. You get to choose the next beauty standard.

Really? Yes, so what would you like it to be? I choose... Natural Beauty. Yeah, okay. We will submit that for review, but that's definitely getting denied by the higher-ups. How? You said I get a choose.

Yeah, but I never said it would be approved. You'll just have to wait for the next test to appear to see if it was. So much for getting my hopes up. My new outfit is going to be so cute today. Please be natural beauty. Please be natural beauty. FUR COAT? I guess my idea didn't get approved.

This outfit is not getting ruined by a fur coat. I don't care if I get sent to jail for the day. This outfit is worth it. Just kidding. This outfit is not worth it. Fur coat it is. Mom, do you still have all those fur coats from when you were convinced there was going to be another ice age?

Yes, I do, honey. The coats are in my closet, and I'm not entirely convinced that still won't happen. Great, those fur coats are going to save my life today. Are the beauty standards still happening? Yeah? I turned 50 last month. Once you turn 50, you no longer have to follow the beauty standards.

Dang, I wish I was 50. It does have its perks, and some not perks. Well, at least you don't have to wear a fur coat in the middle of summer. Jess, I looked all over the house this morning and I didn't have a single fur coat. The closest I had was this puffer coat. Do you think that's close enough? Beauty standard check! I don't think so.

Here, this coat is giant. Get in it with me. Are you sure that's allowed? No, but hurry! Why is the coat so wet? It's 80 degrees out. I've been sweating more than Santa in the Bahamas. You two, beauty standard check. Okay, check away officer.

You both can't be wearing the same coat. I've never heard of that rule. Because it's common sense. Now what of you has to leave and come with us? Okay, thanks for trying to help, Jess. No. None of us are leaving this coat, not until you scan us and prove that we fail.

If I do that, then you both will fail and have to come with me. Let's not forget now. that the punishment has been upgraded to death this round. Then we will take our chances. Jess, I think the heat of the fur coat is getting to you. He's saying we could both die! Pellijin, I'm not letting you leave this coat. If you leave, then you will be a goner.

I'm confident this is going to work. I don't have time for this. Stand still so I can scan you both. You passed. This time, I will be adding the no-sharing coats rule to the books now. I am so glad that worked. I really didn't think it was going to. You said you were confident.

I lied. Excuse me, Guard. Now that we pass the beauty standard test, can we please take off this fur coat? I'm burning up. Yeah, same here. You must keep wearing it until the beauty standard changes. But what if we pass out from heat stroke?

It's either heat stroke or death. I'll leave it up to you. Oh, all right, Billy Jean. Let's find the thermostat and crank it down to 30. A new beauty standard floating? Oh, thank goodness. Blue light up glass. I don't have any of those.

Curse my perfect vision! Jess, what are you doing? I'm trying to light up glasses with these glow sticks, but someone used all of the blue ones. Why do you need your glasses to light up? For the beauty standard check, duh. It is a miracle that boy is still alive. Jess, are you okay?

Sebastian told me you were having a mentee bee. I don't have any blue light up glasses. Do you? Yeah? I got them a bit ago. a bit ago. They're actually really great for eye strain. Do you have any extra? Wait, here's don't light up. It's blue light glasses, not light up glasses.

I've wasted my entire morning trying to get these to light up. Oh, I'm cooked. Beauty standard check. I'm not ready. I need more time. Here, where these? They're regular glasses. Do you think they'll realize that these aren't blue light glasses? I'm gonna guess not. You've seen the scanners.

They're so high tech, they can detect anything. That these aren't helpful. Just distract the gar. distract the guards for me. Please. This school has to have blue light glasses somewhere. Jess? Pilly Jean, what are you doing in here? You're supposed to be stalling them. I made them stay away as long as I could, but they're on their way here now. Did you think of a solution? No. Beauty standard check coming in. Wait, did you pass the beauty standard test already? Yeah? Here, give me your glasses and hide. Maybe I can get away with wearing yours. It's worth a shot. Here, I'll be in the cabinet.

Hide, hide! Stand still while I check you. You pass. Billie Jean, they left. I can't believe that worked. Yeah! Now I just need to continue to hide from them the rest of the day, so they don't see me without the glasses.

Pierced eyebrow? Aw, I hate the ones with needles! Jerica, are you okay? Because your eyebrow was bleeding a lot. I pierced her eyebrows. You're next. And I bet I'm gonna look better than you. Ow! Are you sure this is safe and sterile, Mom?

Do you even have any piercing training? Nope, so if you want, you could wait for Billie Jean to do yours in the girls' bathroom. Nope! Okay, you can pierce mine! Now hold still. Okay, all done. Ow! Wait, mom, where is it? Wait a minute.

Is it your left or my left? Obviously my left! Ow! You pierced my right eyebrow? It was supposed to be my left eyebrow! Oops! Sorry, honey! So what am I supposed to do now? I guess we'll have to pierce the other one.

Two eyebrow piercings? This is the worst day of my life. This is the best day of my life. Jerica, you're so... Ow! Annoyne. See, it doesn't look that bad. Beauty standard check!

Hold still while we scan. You all pass. But you, you know you only needed one eyebrow piercing, right? Trust me. I know. Whoa, Jess, you know we only had to do... Yeah, I know. My mom pierced the wrong eye. eyebrow first. Oof, that's rough.

Ha ha, nice eyebrows. At least neither of my eyebrows are infected, Becky. Your eyes swollen shut. Yet I can still see all your ugly. Wait, a new beauty standard is loading? I wonder what it's gonna be. Blush blindness? What does that mean?

It's the viral term for too much blush. I don't have any blush. Can I borrow some? I don't have any either. Beauty standard check. Dang, they're quick. They're coming this way. What are we gonna do?

We have to go to the lunchroom. Jess, I don't think we have time for a snack right now. Not for a snack. For blush. Huh? Ketchup? You got any better ideas? No.

I guess I get to know what chicken nuggies feel like today. See? I mean, it doesn't look that bad. Yeah, I guess so. And isn't ketchup supposed to be super moisturizing? I think you're thinking of the Hannah-Wattana episode. Beauty standard check. You're both clear.

Few. At this point, you'd think we know to bring a bag of makeup to school. I guess we'll never learn. Okay, hit me with whatever it is. I can handle it. A tooth gem? Fine. This is the first beauty standard test I actually feel prepared for.

Let's see your gem. Where is it? What do you mean? Jericho concluded it on this morning. And it must have fallen off. Billie Cheap, I think I swallowed it. I have to have another gem in here somewhere. Hurry, they're getting closer.

Beauty standard check. Just a second. Check me first. Okay, fine. Fine. You passed. Now your turn. Hmm, inconclusive. You're coming with us. What? Wait, what? Beauty standard? I thought that wasn't a thing anymore. L.E.D. Shark mask? What of those? Mom? Did you see the new beauty standard? I don't have an LED mask. What should they do?

Don't worry, honey. I was worried this would happen again, so I got us some. Open up! Beauty standard chair!