Jessica Kaylee - I survived the Summer Group Chat

Episode Date: August 29, 2026

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Call or text 211 or visit ab.211.ca. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with the Alberta iGaming Corporation. Standard message and data rates may apply. Please be a gold dumpling. Pink. I guess it's kind of cute. Brittany? Jess?

Happy summer! How are you? I've been taking up some new hobbies. What about you? Just doing a little self-care. I love that for you. Ow. So, listen, I have an idea.

Oh no, that's never good. Hey, sometimes my ideas don't end in a dumpster fire. Okay, what is it? Okay, what if I start a group chat with everyone in the class? Brittany, are you saying you miss school? I kind of miss our classmates. Don't you? Yeah, I kinda do.

Okay, I'm gonna start the group chat. Should I ask how you have everyone's number? Don't worry, I won't add Mr. Hanson. You have Mr. Hansen's phone number? Yeah, he's my great uncle. Did I not ever tell you that? He's your what? Just kidding!

That would be really, Wild! Just make the group chat on it. Bye! Bye! Hey, gang! I thought it would be fun to start a summer group chat in case any of us want to keep in touch. What do we think? Hey gang, I thought it would be fun to start a summer group chat.

In case anyone wants to keep in touch. What do you think? I love that idea. That way we can all help each other with the summer extra credit homework. Wait, what summer homework? I didn't hear about that either. I asked Mr. Hansen if he could assess. Sign me some homework for summer break.

You asked for homework? Yeah. Don't you have some hobbies or summer things you want to do instead? Homework is my hobby. That's sad. Rad! I love group chats. I could send all my funny memes here. Sebastian, if you don't stop blowing up all of our phones with dumb memes,

I will remove you from this chat. Can I at least send 10 a day? You can have one a day. Five! Two. Duel. Okay, here are my two. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Wait, I've had some better ones. Can I send two more? No! Somehow, everyone being annoyed with me is worse over text. So what's everyone been up to this summer? Brady's been doing a lot of face masks and has tried out five new nail polish colors. Sophie's been at Art Summer Camp for the past two weeks. Sebastian has gotten two concussions from skateboarding without a helmet.

And Jess has been trying and face. failing to find a glitter dumpling? Oh! Charlie has already read three textbooks for next year, and I've been working on my taxidermy. How do you know all of that? Have you been stalking us? If only they knew I was under their bed.

You do taxidermy? Yeah, I thought you all knew that. Remember that stuffed raccoon I brought in for show and tell? Wait, I thought that was fake. I'll try not to take that as an insult to my taxidermy scales. Wait, Rachel, if you know I'm at summer camp, do you also know that my cabin is haunted? It's not haunted anymore. I took care of that.

Oh. Thank you. Well, seems like Rachel covered what we've all been up to. She wasn't right about me. She wasn't. I actually got three concussions. Good for you. You should be very proud. Thank you. I am. Oh! Here's a photo of what my head looked like after the second one. Oh.

Sebastian! Ask if we want to see a bloody photo next time. Oh, sorry. Uh, does anyone want to see a photo of my bloody head? Yes. No! I'd rather see one of your dumb memes than a photo of an open wound. That does not mean to send one right now. Wait, should I add Mr. Hansen to the chat? No.

Yeah, we don't want to turn this group chat into a lecture on the history of texting. Wait, how do you even have Mr. Hansen's cell phone number anyways? I ask him about homework. And he just gave you his number for that? Actually, no. I found it online. We have this funny inside joke where he keeps telling me to stop texting him about homework. It's so funny.

Oh, Charlie, you really need a hobby other than homework. Like what? Skateboarding? No way! I need my brains inside my skull. If you insist. So, are you guys trying to hang out or what? Five minutes later. You gotta reply to the chat and say you're going to hang.

Please, the silence is killing me. Okay, yeah. Sorry, I was just thinking about it. What is there to think about? It would be fun. Yeah, totally. We've just never heard. hung out outside of class. Just reply to the group chat. It's been too long. Yes!

I'm so down. Let's do it, right everyone? A little bit of overkill. Sorry, I just wanted to be enthusiastic. Yeah, that sounds fun. I'm in. I get back from camp this weekend. I'd love to hang out with you guys.

You could only play so many board games with your mom and tell her smack talk hits a little too close to home. It would be nice to hang out with you guys while you actually know in there. I guess we actually have to hang out with these losers now. LOL.

Losers? Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no. Why would you say that? I meant to send that to you! You better apologize, quick! I meant to send that just to you. It was supposed to be a funny joke.

I am so, so, so sorry. That was totally a joke, and I meant to send it to Brittany. Oh, so you and Brittany talk bad about us behind our back? No, no, we don't. We really want to hang out with you guys. Really? You want to hang out with us losers? I didn't mean that.

I was just trying to joke around with her. I don't get most jokes, but even I know that was a bad one. I know, I know. I'm so, so sorry. We can all still hang out without Jess. Brittany. Sorry, Jess. You made your bed and now you have to lay in it.

Her bed is very comfy. How do you know that? Yeah, maybe we should hang out without Jess. No, please, I really admire our friendship and I'm so sorry, it was a bad joke and I didn't mean anything by it. Is there any way I can make it up to you all? All of us ice cream, would we hang?

out together. Yeah, I'll do that. Unlimited toppings. Yes, of course. And I'm gonna keep all the photos I've taken of you sleeping. What? I mean, sure, you can do that. So, we're all gonna hang out this weekend and Jess is gonna buy his ice cream?

This is gonna be the best summer ever. This is gonna be my brokeest summer ever.