Jessica Kaylee - I Survived Valentine's Day

Episode Date: February 7, 2026

I Survived Valentine's Day Jess and her classmates are back for Valentine's Day. Brands: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oh, that's what I'm saying. Why should we let a baby in diapers dictate our love life? Exactly. Are you guys talking about Boss Baby? No, we're talking about Cupid. Why would we be talking about Boss Baby? I'm always talking about Boss Baby. What? It's a good movie. I really like the second one.

The second one of what? Boss Baby. Oh, I love that movie! I think Sebastian crashed his bike without wearing a helmet one too many times. The only time I wear a helmet is when I'm in a forbidden cave. Okay class, quiet coyote. I hope you're all having a very happy valetites day so far. I know I haven't.

I'm perfectly fine because I am a grown man, and so I will not be crying in front of my class when the woman of my dreams breaks up with me after six months of dating and I knew she was the one, but she just wasn't seeing things that way. Dang, that sounds rough, Mr. H. Truly, it's no one. big deal. At least that's what she said when I started crying. Um...

Enough about me. Today is our class Valentine's Day exchange. Did you all bring your boxes? Rachel, why does your box look wet? I decorated it with my favorite thing. What? Ketchup. Well, at least you decorated yours. Sebastian just used an old shoebox.

Hey! I added a sticker. My apologies. All right! Let's just. Let's get the show on the road. We will all take turns passing around our valentines. Charlie, you go first. For my valentines, I wrote an equation for each of you to solve.

Does it have an answer key on the back? No, that takes out the fun. Then I probably won't be solving that equation. That's okay. I had a lot of fun writing them. I hope you know that doesn't count for any extra credit, Charlie. I know. My Valentine's Day gift are chocolate roses, which are my

favorite Valentine's Day candy. Them isn't edible? It's plastic! Wait, plastic isn't edible? No! Oops! Sophie, you go next. I handpainted mine, but it's no big deal or whatever. I just had nothing better to do.

Whoa, Sophie! These are beautiful! Really? I mean, thanks, I guess. I'll go next! You brought hot dogs? Yeah, I figured we'd be hungry. Mm-hmm.

Charlie, are you okay? I'm okay. I'm vegetarian. Which is why I got you a veggie dog. Thanks. That's surprisingly thoughtful of you. I would like to deliver mine personally. Wait.

Are these photos of us taken without our knowledge? This photo is of me and my bed. Sweet, she got my good side. Happy Valentine's Day. I just want you all to know that I'm always here for you. Cute. Jess, please pass out yours now. Yes, totally.

I got everyone candy hearts because I wanted to keep the Valentine's Day tradition alive. And I can eat this. Yes. But not the box. Gotcha. All right, everyone. Now you can talk amongst yourselves. Look at your stash.

eat that candy. I know I've already eaten two boxes of chocolates today and I regret nothing. Except maybe telling Barbara I loved her. Wait, Brittany, did you see anyone pass out Valentine's that look like this? No. What does it say? Roses are red, violets are blue. You're really cute. I have a crush on you? No way. You have a secret admirer. What? No, I mean that can mean anything. Uh, Last time I checked, I have a crush on you means they have a crush on you. Who do you think it is? It could be anyone.

Did you see the way Sebastian looked at you today? I think he was just looking at me like that because he has a concussion. Or it could be Charlie. I think the only thing Charlie loves is math. Well, we have to figure out who it is. Too we? Yes, I'm gonna ask Charlie. Wait, no.

Charlie! Yes? Jess got a note from a secret admirer. Oh, uh, congratulations. Was it you? What? Me? Ew!

No way! Who? Well, you don't have to act so disgusted by the idea. Sorry, nothing against you, but... Ugh. Point taken. Well, if it wasn't Charlie, Sophie's taken, and Rachel is...

Rachel. I wonder if my ghost could solve this equation. So my bet's Sebastian. You think so? Yes. Now talk to him. Hey Sebastian! Sebastian!

What up, Jess? I got your note. I don't think I loved a note on your hot dog. Hey, speaking of hot dog, are you gonna eat that? No, I mean your other note, and I'm really flattered, but I think just right now I just don't really see you the same way. But... But maybe we could just hang out more, ask friends,

and see if any sparks come from that. Okay, I usually don't know what's going on, but I definitely feel. don't know what you're talking about. Wait, so you're not my secret admirer? Uh, no, but... I could be. Then who wrote this note? Sorry to interrupt, but Mr. Hanson?

Yes. Did you happen to get my... my note? What note? I left you a Valentine. I haven't gotten anything. Is this the note you left? Oh yes, that's it. Here you go, Mr. Hansen. Things might be looking up for you.

Miss Dunbar? I wasn't aware you felt this way. I have for a while now, but we can talk about that later. I'll see you after school. I'll see you then. That's enough of that. Which reminds me I still haven't passed out your Valentine's Day cards yet. You made us Valentine's, Mr. H? Yep. Also known as your report cards.

Oh. At least Mr. Hanson is back to his normal self. I still think you were Sebastian who can a cute couple. What? Lazzang sur-gillet, Puitance-Moyerned Possible! Oh,

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