Jessica Kaylee - If Grades were Deadly (ALL Seasons)

Episode Date: January 26, 2026

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Seven times 11 is... 77. Correct. And spell dragon. D, R-A-G-O-N-E. No, E, Jessica. I'm sorry. No, no, don't cry.

But it's very important that you work very hard in school because getting a bad grade is deadly. Billy Jean, how do you think you did on the test? I'm hoping I passed, but I couldn't remember the capital of like half. the state. That's not good. Why didn't you let me help you study? Class, I will be passing back your tests now, but unfortunately, more than one of you failed the assessment. Please don't be me. Please don't be me. Roger, I'm sorry, but... Did he just spontaneously combust? Yeah, Billy Jean, not your best

work. But I passed. I gotta see. Anything lower than that, and you would have ended up like Roger. I suggest you study more. There's still at least one other person who failed in this class. I wonder who it is. You don't think it's me, do you? Jessica, here you are. I passed. I got an A. Amanda, you only got one right.

Yay! Out of 50. Boom. I'm sorry. Absolutely horrifying. You're telling me. Class, we're no longer gonna be doing participation grades in PE.

For now on, your grade will be determined by your physical strength. That's not fair. Not all our bodies were created equal. And the guys are gonna be naturally stronger than us girls. We've taken that into consideration. That's why for your first PE assessment, as long as you get under eight minutes on the mile, you will pass.

Eight minutes? I don't think I've ever ran the mile in ten minutes. I already ran five miles before school. I don't want to have to run another. Why did you already run this morning? My mom's new boyfriend refused to drive me so I had to run to school. You know you could always call me and I'll give you a ride. Okay, can I have a ride tomorrow? You don't think he's going to drive you again tomorrow? I was so mad I slashed his tires, so we can't now. All right, on your mark, get set, go! How are we doing on time? It's already been four minutes so far, and we've only done one and a half laps.

We have to pick up the pace. We're either gonna die from failing or die from exhaustion. Eight minutes on the clock, the longer it takes you, the lower your grade gets. We have to keep going. It hurts to breathe. And time. Please tell us we passed, right? Billy Jean, Jess, you both got a C.

You better pick up the pace next time if you want to survive this class. Angelica, you on the other hand, failed by five seconds. Is 13 a prime number? It's Taylor Swift's prime number. This is serious, Billie Jean. If you fail, you die. Yes, 13 is a prime number.

Good, now give me one. What's a factor of 25? No, give me one from the study sheet. This is on the study sheet. It's on the back. There was a back? I have 30 minutes to learn all of this! Jess, you look like a mess.

Not now, Sebastian! Why are you stressing so hard? Just write the answers on your hand. That's cheating. Cheating doesn't kill you. Failing does. Okay, Kloss, take out your pens. The test is about to begin.

You got this, Jess. Don't stress. Thanks. You too. How do you think you did? I think fine, but the ones I didn't know, I didn't know. The AI bots have already graded your papers. That was quick. For the following students please come up and see me. Anthony, Sam and Jess. You don't think that's bad, do you? I don't think it's good. Thank you all for coming up here. Anthony, let's start with you. I'm sorry to say this, but you failed the test. What? No,

please. Too bad. I really liked him. Sam, you also failed. I did? And Jess. I failed too, didn't I? Please don't do this? We don't have to tell anyone. Unfortunately, I can't do that's against protocol, but you didn't fail. I didn't, but you did only pass by one point, so I wanted you to come up here and show you how important it is that you study next time. Jess, you want to go to the movies after school? I heard there's a new tangled movie out

with Sabrina Carpenter. I can't. I barely passed today. I need to focus on school. Four times four is eight. No, it's... Four times four is 24. No, it's...

I know this. Why isn't it coming to me? Whoa, Jess, you look... I was up all night working out and studying. I have to push myself harder so I don't fail. But you also need rest. You can't be your best self if you're exhausted. Class, today we're going to be doing an endurance test. Everyone will need to do jumping for five minutes in order to pass. Jonathan, you stop jumping at 45 seconds. You failed. I'm feeling really tired. Just don't think about a Billy Jean. Think about puppies. I'll try.

How much longer? It's only been two minutes. Come on. We have to keep going. jumping you failed I can't keep going 150 seconds left you can do it 150 149 under 1 100 that's it that's it I'm done Billy Jean no yes Billy Jean you both stopped jumping but it seems you made it past the cutoff point for failing so you both get seized today we barely made it why did you stop you could have kept jumping because I thought it was gonna lose you I couldn't even think about jumping five minutes of jumping jacks after no No sleep got me feeling woozy.

Well, you better perk up because we have our vocab test today. Vocap test, no, it's our math midterm today. No, that's next Tuesday. Today is vocab. I'm toast! Khan is a prefix of connection, which... I told you once and I'll tell you again, you will stress less if you write it on your hand.

Works every time. Are you cheating? Mirabelle, I'm talking to you. Um, no. Let me see your desk. your desk. You've written the answers on it? That's an automatic failure, young lady. What? No. Sebastian, you said you couldn't die from cheating. You can't. That's not true because Mirabella just died from cheating. No, she died from failing. But she

failed because she cheated. Still, her cause of death wasn't cheating, it was failing. So my statement stands. Cheaters don't die. Unless you get caught. Precisely, so don't get caught. Jessica? Principal Franklin. What is that on your hand? Oh, I was doodling in class. I should go wash it up. Let me see. Show me your hand. What is this? Are these test answers? No. You're coming with me. We do not allow cheating at our school. Professor Potter, you have a cheater in your class. See? Jess, were you cheating on the test? Please, I don't want to die. I forgot to study but I'm not a failure. Thank you, Principal Franklin, but I'll take it from here. We don't

allow cheating on tests. It's an automatic failure. But you know that. I know. I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry. Unfortunately, sorry doesn't change that you did it. Are you going to kill me? You saw what happened to Mirabelle earlier today.

It would be unfair of me to let one student live and not the other when they're both in the wrong. Rules are rules. I know. Who else knows that you cheated? Just Principal Franklin and you, obviously? No one else. No. Why?

So no one saw you cheat. No? So you didn't cheat. You just had the writing on your hands. to practice, but you didn't use it on the test. And there are no witnesses to prove otherwise. No, but I... Didn't cheat, right?

Right. I didn't cheat. Then I have no reason to fail you because we have no proof. Now go wash your hands. What about Principal Franklin? Don't worry about him. He won't be an issue. What's going on?

Principal Franklin was fired. What? Why? They found him guilty of something. It's high profile, so they're not telling us. Either way, the deadly grade... will be postponed until we have a new principal. Well, hopefully we don't find another before we graduate.

Oh, it's going to happen sooner than that. Don't be such a downer, Sebastian. I'm not being a downer. Professor Potter already applied to be principal. Jess, what's with that face? Um, nothing. I just don't think we want Professor Potter as our principal. He seems like he's up to something.

Do you know something you're not telling me? Nope, nothing. But let's go. Looks like school's canceled for the day. Jess, can I talk to you? Uh, Professor Potter. I'm kind of busy. It will only take a second.

I'll catch up with you guys. I told you, Principal Franklin, wouldn't be an issue. Look, I appreciate what you did for me, but you didn't have to get Principal Franklin fired. No, that was more for my own benefit. What are you plotting? You know what? Don't tell me, because I don't want any part of it. Oh, but you will be a part of it.

Because I saved your life, remember? Are you blackmailing me? Something like that. What kind of evil plan are you plotting? Evil. I'm not a villain. I'm going to be a hero. A hero. Last I checked, heroes don't blackmail people. I'm going to take down the system for good. Are you in or not?

I thought you said I don't have a choice. Oh, you have a choice. It's your in or you're dead. Then I'm in. Oh, you have a choice. It's your in or you're dead. Then I'm in. Good. We'll talk tomorrow. But in the meantime, you were to tell no one about what we're up to. Wait, why can't we tell anyone? I think everyone wants the system.

system taken down. Everyone except the creator, so until we figure out who that is, we can't trust anyone. We can trust Billy Jean. She'll help us. Tell her and you're dead. You really like threatening people's lives, don't you? You know what? I don't need you.

I could just end you right here. Hey, hey, hey, it was just a joke, okay? Kind of. Look, Professor Potter, if we want to work together, you have to trust me, okay? And maybe be a little less angry? You want to be the hero, right? I don't want to be. I'm going to be.

Great. Then let's be a happy hero! H. Jess, what was that about? Nothing. Professor Potter just wanted to talk to me about my grades. You don't have an F, do you? No, if I did, I would be dead, remember? I'm just gonna go home. I'm not really feeling like myself. I'll see you tomorrow. Wait, are you sure you're okay? Fine.

Jess, did you see this email? No, what does it say? I guess they hired on Professor Potter as the principal, and the deadly grades are back on. I thought we were gonna be postponed for at least a week. So did I. I was up all night playing Roblox. I'm not prepared. I have a horrible feeling I might die today. You're not gonna die, okay? I promise.

How can you be so sure? Just trust me, I got your back. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. What does that mean? Jess, would you come here for a second? Professor Potter wants to talk to you again. Jess, are you in some sort of trouble? No, I'm sure it's just about the school dance stuff, you know? Those are always coming up. I'll see you later.

You know, people are gonna think it's weird you're talking to me so much, right? And why did you take the principal position? The deadly grades were going to be postponed for a week at least. Isn't that what we wanted? We want the deadly grades gone forever, not for a week. As principal, I'll be able to have better eyes on the school. Wait, do you think the creator's here? Yes, our school has the highest death count in the nation.

I don't think that's a coincidence. Interesting. So our plan starts today. You need to start getting bad grades in every class. But not bad enough that you die, just bad enough that you almost do. That's kind of hard to do. You're a smart girl, you'll figure it out. How exactly does that help us find them?

I think the creator is one of the teachers. The teachers who want you to survive will offer support, but the creator wants to weed out stupidity, so they won't offer you support of any kind. Billy Jean, great job on your test. Thank you. Jess, not your best work? You were two points away from failing. Please see me after class.

What happened? I thought you'd been studying. I guess I didn't retain any of it. Bummer. You don't seem surprised. Did you fail on purpose? What? Of course not.

That would be ridiculous. I'm not surprised she almost failed. Thank you, Becky. Miss Pepper, you wanted to see me? Yes, it's not like you to perform so poorly. I think you need to come to tutoring. I don't want to see you die. Okay, well, I don't want that either, obviously.

Not Miss Pepper. And time. Jess, you got a D-minus. You barely passed. Yikes, that's scary. You need to build up your strength more. I want to see you after school running for 20 minutes every day until you do. But I...

No buts. This is your life on the line. Not the P.E. teacher. All right, everyone. Begin your tests. Good luck, Jess. You too. And that's time. Everyone pass your test to the front so I can have our automatic AI grader grade them. How do you feel you did on this one? Not the best. I'm kind of in a funk. I can tell you don't seem the same.

Yeah, but everything should be much better very, very soon. And they're graded, but unfortunately some of you failed. Brian, you failed. Becky, you passed. Yay. Ryan, you passed. Billy Jean, you passed. Jess, you failed.

Wait, what? You mean I got a D, right? No, I mean you got an F. That's not possible. There were 20 questions and I got 12 correct. No, there were 21 questions and you got 12 correct. Must have miscounted how many questions there were. Wait, did you feel on purpose? It doesn't matter. Say goodbye to your friend. Not so fast.

Oh, Principal. Potter. What are you, the failure police? I can do my job, thank you. You can't kill her because the creator wants to speak with her. You found the creator? Shh. Oh, do they? Yes, they spoke with me this morning about it. You're lying. Oh, am I? Tell me, Mr. Weasley. Were there really 21 questions on the test? Or did you just put that in the AI machine to drop everyone's grade lower? I knew I counted correctly. I got a D. You have no idea what you're talking about. Oh, I think I do. I know you set this whole thing up. So what if I did? I'm helping the generation stay sharp. Do you want someone who gets F's in school running in the country someday? Not everything's about grades, Mr. Weasley. You can be smart and still fail a test. There are not one in the same. Yes, they are. No, they're not. And you're not helping society. You're hurting it. You're putting fear in education. Children shouldn't be learning out of fear. They should be learning out of curiosity.

Well, that's not how I was raised. I never got to go out on the weekends. I had to stay home and study every night. My parents made us. You can change that. Don't make us relive your traumatic childhood. Well, I hate to say it, but you might be right. I'll change the system. I can't believe you kept that from me. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do. I was so scared. I completely understand. I'm just glad this whole thing is about to be over with. Hopefully, he's already changed the system. Professor Potter? You're back to teaching?

Yes, being a principal, it wasn't my cup of tea. I just wanted to change the way we were doing things around here. Now settle down. I'm about to pass back your test. from yesterday. Billy Jean, good work. I got a B. Yes. Just not your best work. Oh, come on, you can't give me a few extra points. I helped you take down the system. No favoritism over here. Emily, you got an A. Yay! Oh, uh! Professor Potter, I don't think Mr. Weasley understood our chat. I fear he did not.