Jessica Kaylee - If Normal Things were BANNED (ALL SEASONS)
Episode Date: October 10, 2026If everyday items were BANNED Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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And then my grandma did a backflip and...
Spit out your gum! Give it to me!
I'll throw it away. Hang on. I think I have a pack of gum in my bag.
Okay, well, hurry! I can't be caught with this.
Oh, no.
What? I gave my pack of gum to Becky this morning. She says that helps her perform better on tests.
Well, hopefully she remembers it's in her bag.
Jessica, you're needed in the principal's office. Immediately.
What's that about? I don't know. I don't have any gum on me.
Thanks for coming down here.
Becky was caught trying to dispose of this earlier.
Do you recognize this gum?
No.
Really?
Because she said she got it from you this morning.
Oh, right.
Well, I did, but I gave it to her way before the 24-hour ban was in place.
Right, Becky?
No, she's lying.
She hid it in my back.
She's trying to frame me.
What?
Well, there's only one way to squash this.
Yes.
Check the cameras.
No, someone could have tampered with those tapes.
Unlikely.
What we need is a staring contest.
Is he for real?
The first person to blink is guilty.
Okay, hold up.
Three, two, one.
She blinked.
No, I winked. With both eyes, I don't think so.
Take her to jail. Becky, don't worry, you'll get out when gum is legal again.
Jess, back to class.
Jess, why did the principal want to see you yesterday?
Long story short, Becky's a backstabber.
Man, come on, we have to throw our phones away.
No, I just got the new iPhone for Halloween. I'm not gonna throw it away.
Wait, you get gifts on Halloween?
Yeah, trick-or-treating.
Who was giving out the new iPhones?
Mr. Bees is my neighbor, so I,
always get the good stuff. Well, unless you want to go to jail, you better throw it away.
Fine. Do I hear a cell phone?
Jess, why do you look extremely guilty? Because it's my phone. What? I saw you throw your phone away.
But then I went back for it and put it in my bag. Girl. Silence. We're going to have a bag search. I heard a
phone. Billy Jane, I can't go to jail. I have an idea. Just whatever you do, don't speak.
Why? Because when you lie, your voice gets all high pitch. It does not. It does not. You. I'm not. I'm not. I don't. I have a
See? Miss Honey, can I go to the bathroom? Sure, Billie Jean, but I'll have to check your bag before you go. Fine. I'll be back.
Still no phone. On to the back row.
Billie Jean, where are you?
All right, Jess, you're next. Just give me your bag. Let's go.
Everyone evacuate. I'll have to check your bag as soon as we get back. That's fine.
I pulled the alarm. Did it work?
For now, but she's still going to search for my phone when I get back. Well, then quick. Give it to me.
No, I don't want you to get in trouble.
It'll be fine. She already searched my bag.
Fine.
Hurry.
Jessica?
Billy Jean?
This could be your ad, reaching a brand new audience on Spotify.
Launch your first campaign in minutes today with Spotify Ads Manager.
What?
Hurry up.
Everyone's gone back inside already.
That was a close one.
Billy Jean, I need to know how your grandma's backflips are going.
Terrible.
She broke both her big toes last...
What's going on?
Why is the hallway so quiet today?
Hey, get your hands off me.
Talking is not allowed.
You're coming with us.
Hey, I didn't know.
Today sucks.
Tell me about it.
I hate not talking.
Why do they still make us go to school when no one can talk?
Great question.
Let's ditch.
We can't.
Hey, staff.
Miss Honey, she's stealing my stuff.
You're coming with us.
Whoa, what?
You're arresting me?
She stole something out of my bag.
Yeah, but you're the one that talked.
You're disobeying the ban.
Come on, let's go.
So are you.
You're talking.
We have to to enforce the orders.
Come on.
I heard the jails are really bad, super overcrowded, and barely any food.
I would never want to go there.
Ever.
Girls, in the back, are you talking?
Writing is a form of talking.
Both of you, you're going to jail.
Come on.
If you're going to put writing under that rule,
then you'll have to rest.
everyone in here that's texted today. There won't be enough room in jail. Fine. Take this as a warning.
Yesterday was a close one. No talking was torture. That means no Taylor Swift today. Or Olivia
Rodrigo. I'm convinced they want us to go insane. It's believe I'm still bejeweled when I walk in the...
Billie Jean, stop singing. I can't help it. It's so quiet in here. Listen to me, you can sing all you want in your head.
I'll try. Joy to the world.
Billie Jean, if you keep singing, they're gonna send us all to jail, because it would be considered listening to music.
Sorry, it's a bad habit.
You think they'd really send everyone to jail for someone singing?
I wouldn't put it past them.
Hmm.
Bap, pop, pop, bop to the fat.
Slipping, slip and slide.
She's singing.
They've all been exposed to music.
Load them up.
Billy Jean, Jess.
Since you had your earplugs, you don't have to go to jail.
For now.
Why would Becky do that?
I think she's trying to get me sent to jail.
She does seem to have a vendetta against you.
I wonder why.
I have no idea.
Jess? Becky, aren't you supposed to be in jail?
I convinced the officers that you can't listen to yourself while singing,
so therefore I wasn't listening to music.
Wait, huh?
He was so confused, too, that he let me go.
Bummer, you two didn't have to go, though.
Maybe there's a way to change the officer's mind about that.
Guess I'm staying home from school today.
There's no way we're supposed to go to school if clothes are banned.
Jess, hurry up. The bus is almost here.
Mom, I can't go to school today.
Sure, you can.
and everyone's going to be in the birthday suit.
See?
Oh my gosh!
Out of my room!
Fine!
I really wish I couldn't see that.
Billy Jean, that suitcase might be covering up your front side, but not your backside.
You're fully exposed!
I am not!
I taped an Amazon box to my behind.
You can't see anything.
Although it does make it difficult to sit down.
Good idea with the trash bag, though.
That would have been way better than chugging around a suitcase all day.
What was that noise?
Jess!
Is that a poodle on your booty?
It's a birthday!
Mark. Becky cut open my trash bag. You have to figure out what her deal is. First, I need to
cover myself up before I moaned the entire school. Well, Billy Jean, looks like we're twins today.
Let's get to class. Whatever it is, it can't be worse than yesterday. I saw enough naked people
for a lifetime. Drinking? I really hope I don't get thirsty today.
Billy Jean, are you good? Yeah, why? Because you're eating jello faster than a star-nosed
I woke up with the worst dry mouth this morning and Jello's the closest thing to water I could think of.
Jess, Billy Jean.
What, Becky?
My grandma baked cookies for everyone.
Would you two like one?
No offense, but I wouldn't be surprised if those had poison in them.
You think I would murder you in a school hallway.
Jess, you're so funny.
Hey, Becky, I'll take a cookie.
No, I already offered them to Jess and Billy Jean.
It's fine, Becky, really, just give him a cookie.
But my grandma's gonna be so sad that you wouldn't try her cookie.
Fine, I'll eat one if it makes you leave us alone.
Okay.
Jess, are you good?
So it might not have had poison, but it had the best closest thing.
Ghostbuckers.
It's bad, huh?
Shut up, Becky.
Jess, what do you need?
Do you need water?
Give me the jello.
Becky, what is your deal?
Wait, you didn't cave and drink water?
No, Billy Jean's jello was awfully refreshing.
Ugh, bummer.
Why don't you just leave me alone?
No.
Why?
Because when I got busted for having your gum,
jail went on my permanent record.
Harvard will never accept me now, let alone any college.
My dream of being a nurse is crushed because of you.
Oh my gosh.
That one piece of gum ruined my life.
I am so sorry, but maybe you can look into doing
community service and get it off.
You think that would work?
It's worth a shot.
Plus it's a way better place to put your energy
than getting revenge on me.
I don't know.
Revenge is kind of fun.
Jess, Jess.
Oh my god, Becky, you smell awful.
I know. My community service job is cleaning up all the bird poop on the sidewalks.
Well, that explains the smell.
But they said if I do it once a month until graduation, my record will be clean.
Really?
Yeah, thanks for the idea, Jess. I'm going to college.
Well, I'm glad it worked out for you, but I'm gonna go over there so I don't have to smell bird caca.
I'm telling you, my grandma does the splits better than Barbie.
Quick, we have to remove our makeup. Here, I have a makeup wipe.
But I really like how I did my makeup today.
Just wipe it off before we get caught and
sent to jail.
Billie Jean, does your face burn?
No, why?
I don't know, mine just feels really hot.
Oh, sweet pineapple.
What?
I think you're having an allergic reaction to the makeup wipe.
Good call about rinsing my face off with cold water.
I feel much better.
Well, that's good.
Why is your voice high?
No reason.
Your voice always gets high when something's wrong.
It's just, it didn't help the redness.
I look like a tomato!
Hello, Jess, Billy Jean.
Hello, Principal Franklin.
Jess, you're gonna have to come with me for wearing makeup today.
Oh, no.
I'm not wearing any makeup.
Oh, so you just expect me to believe that you naturally look like the devil.
I don't think so.
Come with me.
Excuse me.
You can't hold me here.
I'm not wearing any makeup.
We have an eyewitness saying that she saw you put it on.
Who?
This girl right here.
Becky.
She claims she saw you doing this makeup look in the bathroom and it looks identical to me.
Just give me a washcloth and I'll prove I'm not wearing any.
See?
Clean as a whistle.
Whoa, you really aren't wearing any makeup.
I told you it's just an allergic reaction. Now let me out.
Bess, how was jail?
Horrible! Also, the only reason they took me yesterday was because Becky told them I had makeup on.
That girl has always been out to get you.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I will not survive today without this.
Then you better start chugging before anyone sees.
That was not a good idea. My stomach hurts.
Yeah, I was kidding when I said to chug it. That was a terrible idea!
Assignment please.
Here you go.
Is that coffee I smell?
It is.
Someone around here drink coffee and it's banned.
Well, what if they drink before it was banned?
All coffee is banned.
Coffee drink, copy breath, coffee spills, coffee smells.
I'm going to have to get to the bottom of this.
Everyone, breathe in my face.
I'm doing a stiff test.
Jess, here, eat this mint.
Thank you.
Jess, your turn, breathe in my face.
Okay class, we have found the culprit.
What?
It's Patrick.
What? No, it's not.
It was coming from this area and it wasn't Jess.
I've never even drank coffee before.
That's exactly what a guilty person would say.
Come with me, you're going to jail.
Poor Patrick.
No backpacks.
Does that mean I have to carry everything that's in here?
Billie Jean, where's all your stuff?
At home, I didn't bring it.
Why?
We have so many assignments to do today.
But we could bring our backpacks.
What was I supposed to?
to do carry around my stuff all day and look like a weirdo?
First of all, yes, that's exactly what you're supposed to do.
And second of all, it's not that weird.
Everyone's carrying their stuff.
Why isn't everyone carrying their stuff?
Told you you look like a weirdo.
Class, your assignments aren't going to be due today after all.
Since the backpack ban, we understand that would be a lot to carry around.
Can I just turn mine in anyways because I did bring mine to school and it was a lot to carry?
No, no, no, we're not taking any early work.
Just bring it back tomorrow.
Jess, are you okay? Do you want some help carrying that stuff?
Sebastian, that would be great. I've been struggling all day.
I'll just put all these assignments in here and now you can carry this around instead.
What are you doing? If I get caught with that, I'll get in trouble.
But this will make it much easier to carry all your books.
Of course it would if it wasn't banned.
Oh, right. Hmm. Well good luck with that. See ya!
No, no, no, Sebastian, get back here. Take my stuff out!
I can't just leave my homework in that backpack. Someone can take you.
it. Jessica? Principal Franklin. Why do you always have the worst timing? Why are you
always such a pain in my behind? I don't know, but you should really get that
checked out. My office. Now. Racia? No. I have decided not to turn you into the
police under one condition. Yes, I'll do anything. As long as I don't have to go to
jail the rest of the day. You become home monitor for your free period the rest of
the week. What do you say? Do we have a deal? If we don't,
Don't do I have to go to jail?
Yup.
Then we have a deal.
Great.
I just still don't get how your grandma can still do the splits.
Good thing it's not allergy season.
Hachoo!
Philly Jean, you can't be doing that.
I can't help it.
My sister keeps letting her cat in my room,
even though she knows I'm allergic.
I think I have cat hair all over my clothes.
Huh?
Huh?
Next time you think you have to sneeze, finger under nose.
It really helps.
Let's switch outfits in the meantime in case it is your clothes.
Jess, are you sick?
No, I'm borrowing Billy Jean's clothes today
and something that is really bothering my nose.
You know what might help?
Let me guess.
Sneezing!
No, I'm not cruel.
Then what, Becky?
Taking allergy medicine.
Do you have some?
Of course.
But I'm not going to give you any
because I really want to see you sneeze.
I don't know why I fall for your baloney
every single time.
Me neither, but it's so fun.
Billy Jean, I need my clothes back. I almost keep sneezing.
I can't give them back. I'm finally not sneezing. And being near the clothes again is definitely making my nose itch.
Then what are we gonna do?
Hachoo! Was that a sneeze?
Run!
We have to be more careful today. We almost both went to jail.
No! I can't live a day without being your BFF.
We're gonna have to avoid each other all day.
Jessica, here is your badge. And remember, any other,
Anyone without a pass gets detention.
Sir, yes, sir!
Don't do that.
Jess!
Pilly Jean, what are you doing in the hallway without a hall pass?
Chemistry sucked.
They actually wanted us to do stuff today.
I'm gonna have to write you up.
Yeah, right.
We're be-
Shh.
Not today, we're not, remember?
You're seriously gonna write me up?
I don't have a choice.
It's that or we both go to jail.
Okay.
I liked detention anyways.
We really don't have to do anything there.
I know you do. It's the only place you have perfect attendance.
Claudia, you are too funny.
Did you hear that?
Yeah, Principal Franklin and Miss Puppa aren't following the ban rule.
We have to report them.
I'm not sure you should tattle on the principal.
Why not? They always tattle on us.
I'm gonna do it. Now quick, get back to class so they don't see us together.
You're sure?
Mm-hmm.
Jess, what's all this commotion?
Principal Franklin, you are coming with us for violating the BFF ban rule.
I witnessed you and your BFF ban rule.
BFF Miss Peppa breaking the ban so as Hall Monitor I had to do my due
diligence and report it immediately Jessica you are fired as Hall Monitor when I
get back sir yes sir enjoy jail mom do you know what this means I sure do
oh my Lanta why are you wearing a turkey outfit because we have to wear
anything but our normal everyday clothes today but don't worry while I was
out I picked you up a turkey outfit too wow that that is really nice
but I think I'm good.
Are you sure?
Mm-hmm.
Billie Jean?
Wait, why aren't you naked?
The better question is, why are you?
I think my brother led me astray.
He said you couldn't wear anything today.
Nope.
You definitely can't.
You just can't wear normal clothes,
but you can wear clothes.
What am I gonna do?
I guess I'll cut some leg holes in my backpack
and you can wear this.
Jessica.
Principal Franklin.
How is your time in jail?
Not great, thanks to you.
Hey, now I'm not the one who didn't follow the band.
It's water under the bridge.
The real reason I wanted to talk to you is because I need your help spreading the word about a Taylor Swift competition happening today.
Whoever is the best dressed in her merch will get free tickets to her concert.
Free tickets to our concert?
But wait, wouldn't that go against the band though?
No, no. That wouldn't be considered street attire.
That would be considered fan attire.
I guess that makes sense.
Okay, I'll let everyone know.
Jess, why did you change?
Because Principal Franklin said that there's a chance to win Taylor Swift tickets if you're wearing her merch today.
So I gate kept it, so I'm the one that wins.
That's definitely gonna count of street wear.
No, he said it wouldn't.
Jessica, this is the police speaking.
Come with us for violating the ban.
No, stop!
What's going on?
Principal Franklin, thank goodness you're here.
Tell them that my outfit's okay and it's just for the competition.
Oh yeah.
There was no competition.
You tricked me?
Yeah.
I figured I should get a little payback after you sent me to jail.
Now it's your turn.
Have fun.
This isn't Grandpa doing the splits, Mom.
This is AI.
I'm deleting this off your phone.
Are you sure it's AI?
People who use walkers aren't doing the splits on the reg.
They break a hit.
Hey, Siri, how do you tell if something is AI?
No, you can't ask Siri either.
I'm disabling it.
Next you're going to tell me that I can't use chat GTP.
You can't!
My TikTok algorithm is so weird today.
It's like it doesn't know me at all.
It doesn't.
The FYP is AI learning, so with AI being banned,
it can't tailor your feed to what you like.
That explains why I keep getting
how to grow a garden in Alaska videos.
Guys, can you hop in 99 nights in the forest?
There's no one to play with me right now.
We can't.
We have detected AI being used over here.
That's weird.
I'm just...
Studying for an exam.
Jess, give me back my laptop!
If we catch anyone using AI, it's jail for a week.
Aw, I lost the game because of you.
You can't play Roblox games today, Sebastian.
Those games use AI.
Next, you're going to tell me I can't play 20 questions with my meta self.
I'm starting to think people don't even know what AI is.
Billy Jean, I just got an email saying I won a trip to the Bahamas to attend Taylor Swift's honeymoon.
All I have to do is put in my information and it's all mine.
Are you sure?
That sounds way too good to be true.
Normally, I would be skeptical too, but my email is very good at filtering spam.
So, I think it is. Do you want to be I plus one?
Uh, duh!
Students, as you are all adjusting to the AI band,
here are some things that you might not know are AI.
Text predictions, Google Maps, and email spam filters.
Your emails will now be filled with spam, so make sure you're staying safe.
Uh, Jess, you don't think that email was a scam after all, do you?
No way!
Taylor Swift invites her biggest fans to these types of things all the time.
But do you really think she would have her honeymoon in the Bahamas?
Check the email address that sent you that.
sent you that? It was from Swifty, 67, GIFT-O-A-At Gmail.com. And away is spelled wrong.
Girl! You didn't give them any personal information, did you? I just gave them our social security
number, birth certificates, home address, and names? What? They needed that to book the trip.
Our identities are for sure getting stolen. Oh, don't be dramatic. Who would want to have your identity?
Pecky, for once, I hope you're right. Um, so I just got an email from the state.
and it says, thank you for getting your new ID.
I guess someone is trying to be me.
Well, I guess I was wrong.
I hope the new you is cool.
Oh, they attach a picture of the new ID.
It looks like newbie has a beard and is fault.
At least his eyetaps kind of cool.
Banned? Personal space?
Uh, how did you guys get in my house?
I hired them.
I didn't want you to get sent to jail for having personal space.
Where did you find these people?
This one smells like it hasn't showered in years.
On eBay.
Look at my sister.
Yikes.
How come Jerica got to use her friends and you hired two strangers for me?
Don't make me answer that, sweetie.
We know Billy Jean is your only friend.
I have more than one friend.
Name another.
Sorry, I can't hear you.
Carla over here is breathing down my throat.
Okay, move, guys.
I'm gonna be late to class because of you.
Jess, why did you breathe?
Why did you bring your grandma to school?
This isn't my grandma.
I don't even know her.
Yikes.
Blink twice if you need help.
I'm blinking.
Oh, I don't actually care.
Come on.
Move!
Jessica, you're late.
Yeah, well, it's a little hard to get through the hallway
when you have two people pressed up against you.
I'm surprised your mom did realize personal space
could be taken up by objects and not just people.
I wish.
Instead, she thought I needed people and a dog.
How come they just stare and don't talk?
talk. Mom said it costs extra money for them to talk. So instead they just stare. A new band is loading.
You two out of here. Jess, the cops found the person who stole my identity. Quick, put your phone in here.
It'll kill everything with the UV light. Bring it with us. We need to wash your hands.
This line is way too long to wash our hands. Do you have any hand sanitizer? Yes, I have cotton candy,
vanilla, peach blossom, or... Just give me one. Do you really think we need to wash our hands?
How can they tell if we have germs?
Uh, microscopes?
A-hooo!
Ew! Sebastian! You need to cover your sneeze. That's how germs spread!
I didn't know I was going to sneeze.
No matter how much I washed, I still feel like I have germs everywhere!
We are checking everyone for germs today.
You two, come with us into the blue light!
I hope we scrubbed enough.
Ew, with the blonde hair. Step through!
Ew! I washed, I swear, but I could wash again!
Quiet, step to the right. Next person, step through.
Looks like we're both covered in.
Both covered in germs still.
No talking.
Step to the right.
Wait here until I return.
At least we'll be going to jail together.
If we didn't pass, there's no way the rest of the school is passing.
Half of them don't wash their hands after using the bathroom.
You two, you're free to go.
Wait, really?
But we were covered in germs.
Jess, do you want to go to jail?
Don't argue with the man.
Let's go!
You were covered in good germs.
Everyone has good germs and bad germs.
Oh, cool.
Does that mean I was covered in good germs too?
No.
This gentleman needs to spray down.
Spray down, bring in the germ team.
Spray down.
No, thanks.
You're gonna have to try and catch me if you want to do that.
I will never understand why Sebastian thinks he can outrun them.
I will never understand Sebastian.
Mom, school's banned for the day.
No!
Wow, okay, don't act too excited.
You girls need to leave the house all day.
No way.
No school means I will be on my iPad in bed.
See ya.
I'm with her.
No, you will not.
If school is banned, then you're coming to work with my.
me. What? Mom, we're almost adults. I think we can stay home by ourselves for eight hours.
And not, fine. I wish that were true, but I know I will be getting calls from you to arguing.
We promise we won't, Mom. Stop whining and get in the car. Oh, I didn't know it was bring your kids to work day.
Hi, Deborah. Unfortunately, that's what happens when they banned school with no notice. Don't worry,
you won't even know they're here. No, this is great. We can use the extra help. Girls, this way.
You can work on making copies for all these and then sorting them into the mailboxes.
Ooh, sorry, but we already made plans to play Pokemon go on our phones all day. Thanks, though.
I think you should do this if you don't watch your mom to get fired for bringing her kids to work unprompted.
Are you blackmailing us?
Of course not. But it is up to you if your mom loses her job.
I cannot believe her. Mission Get Deborah Fired is on.
Jerica, I don't think we should cause any waves at mom's work. Clearly, they're already upset that we're here.
We're not the ones who started it.
Deborah is.
We're just the ones finishing it.
So what did you think of coming to work with me today?
Great.
Super fun.
I'm still shocked Deborah got fired.
It seems so out of the blue.
Yeah, well, I guess that's what happens when you memeify your boss into a love island bombshell and send it out to the entire network.
I have to say, it seemed out of character for Deborah.
I know.
Who knew Deborah had it in her?
Hello?
Yes, this is she.
You saw what on the cameras?
Mom's work as cameras.
Girls, did you hack into Deborah's computer?
We play the fifth.
Who changed the Wi-Fi password?
I can't get it to work either.
Dad, can you restart it?
I'm trying to watch the summer I turn pretty.
Do you kids ever pay attention?
Wi-Fi is banned today.
Ugh, I'll just use my hotspot then.
Same.
No, you will not.
You two already used all of your data for the entire month.
Then what are we supposed to do all day?
You know, back at our day, we didn't even have Wi-Fi.
Yeah, because you had dinosaurs.
I'm so bored.
Hey Alexa, play music.
I seem to be having a connection issue.
Ugh!
Even listening to music requires Wi-Fi.
Come on, let's go outside, like they did in the olden days.
Do you think you can die of boredom?
Dude, quit complaining. You're like addicted to Wi-Fi.
Are you not losing your mind?
No. I got the K-pop demon hunters ingrained in my brain,
so all I have to do is close my eyes and it's like watching TV.
Whoa, I wonder if I can play DTI in my brain.
Ah! What's wrong now?
My opponent's outfit?
is hideous.
Is that a fire alarm?
It's coming from the house.
Are you guys okay?
What did you burn?
Dinner!
I couldn't use the cooking robot because it required Wi-Fi.
It's fine.
I'll just order DoorDash for everyone.
What do you guys want?
I already tried.
No Wi-Fi, remember?
Someone's going to have to call them.
No-noes!
That's not fair!
My name is Jess, and I would like to order a large pizza,
no basil.
Hi, my name is Pizza and I'd like to order a large Jess, no basil?
Huh?
What happened?
Why did you hang up?
That was traumatizing.
We're gonna starve.
I traded my butter squishy for a nice cue.
No.
Quick, throw it away.
No way!
I just got this one!
You can get another one next week.
You act as if these are easy to get your hands on.
They've been sold out for months.
Jess, put the fidget down.
This is the worst day ever.
Since fidgets are banned today, if you need something to fiddle with,
I will be allowing doodling.
in class today. I bet the government banned them because they wanted fidgets and they were all sold out.
My dad works for the government and he said he would give me all the needos that they compensate
once the ban's over. That's not fair. They should be giving them back to the people who bought them
with their own money. Excuse me, this class requires a fidget check. Everyone open up your backpacks.
Jess, why do you look suss? We throw away my needo. Do you want to go to jail? No, I was just
really hoping they weren't going to check, but I'll throw it away as soon as he turns his back.
have terrible aim. It landed in Becky's backpack. What should I do? Should I tell her? You would get in
trouble for having it. Ma'am, is this a needo? I have no idea where that came from. Someone's
framing me. Yeah, right. You're coming with us. No, I swear, that isn't mine. Look, it has
someone else's initials on it. J.K. That's not someone's initials. That means just kidding.
You're getting extra time for trying to prank an officer. Prank an officer? I'm calling my lawyer. This is
an outrage. Do you think I should have said something? She's going to jail because of me.
Relax. Becky's dad runs the government. There is no way he's going to let her spend an hour in jail.
It still doesn't feel good. This guilt is going to eat me alive. Jess, don't. It was my
Nito in Becky's bag. See, I told you I was set up. J.K. stands for Jessica Kaylee.
But it was an accident. I meant to throw it away. I just have really, really bad aim and it
landed in Becky's bag. Lire. She did this on purpose. She's clearly trying to
frame me. If I was trying to frame you, I wouldn't be confessing, Becky!
So you were getting rid of the needo as you were supposed to?
Yes! Then you did nothing wrong. But thank you for telling us. Let's go.
Wait, shouldn't I be free now? It wasn't my fault, remember?
It is your fault for not checking your belongings for any banned items. You're still going to jail.
I'm going to get you for this, Jessica.
Can I cheat? I think I somehow made everything worse.
At least you cleared your conscience. But I would definitely try and keep your distance
from Becky until these bands are over.
CO2 is banned?
What does that mean?
Here, everyone needs to be using these CO2 bottles.
What are these for?
You're not allowed to put CO2 into the world
or there is consequences.
These bottles capture the CO2
so you're not exhaling it into the universe.
Jericho, where is your CO2 bottle?
They ran out of them.
I'm going to get sent to jail.
Here, you can have mine.
Then what are you going to do?
I'll find another way.
Here, take it.
Thanks, Jess.
That's what big sisters are for.
Why are you holding that plant near your face?
Because plants breathe in CO2,
so as long as I'm talking or breathing out near it,
they're breathing it in, I think.
That's not going to work.
That plant doesn't breathe at the same rate you do.
I don't have a lot of options because they're all out of CO2 bottles.
I have something that would work.
Follow me.
You could stay in this chamber.
It doesn't do the exact same thing as the bottles, but close enough.
Girl, that's not a chamber.
That's a coffin.
Yeah, so all I need to do is give you one small bite and you'll be much more comfortable.
Whoa, wait, bite?
Are you trying to change me into a vampire?
I'm trying to help you so you don't need oxygen and therefore will not breathe out CO2.
You know what?
I actually would rather go to jail so you can just stay away from me.
Oh, thank goodness.
I managed to not get caught that entire band.
I wonder how many more days we have of this.
Yeah, we're on our way now. We'll be at Disneyland in like,
20 minutes?
Everyone?
Out of the car.
Mom?
What's going on?
Gas is banned.
We can't keep driving.
Are you sure they mean car gas?
I'm pretty sure they don't mean butthole gas.
Now out!
Oh!
I'll call you back!
How are we supposed to get to Disneyland now?
It's still like 20 miles away!
We're going to have to walk to the closest store and see if we could find a bike to transport us.
None of these places have bikes, Mom, and I'm starving!
Let's go grab a bite to eat then.
We'll wait out the band together.
Welcome to Chish!
Chilies, what can I get ya?
I mean, does anyone come to chilies and not get chili?
You'd be surprised.
Two chilies, please.
You're bold for ordering that today.
What does she mean by that?
No idea.
Wait, Mom, we could rent an electric car.
Look, none of those cars are getting pulled over.
You know, you have a very good point.
Woo!
That chili is making things move.
Ma'am! Was that what I think it was?
A little flatuance, yes, I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Excuse you is right. You're gonna have to come with us.
I told you it was human gas.
It's all gas.
Gas is gas.
I'm sorry, officer.
We had no idea.
Doesn't matter.
The law is the law.
We really did pick the worst day to get chilly.
Jess, you want to watch the new Minions movie after school?
I have a feeling they're not going to be airing that tonight.
Wait, your outfit.
The jean?
I don't have a change of clothes.
Then naked you shall be.
Do you think I can make it home without it ripping?
You should be okay as long as you walk very carefully.
Uh, but I think we're...
might have a bigger issue. Bigger issues than me being naked? Yeah, your teeth are looking real yellow.
You don't think that would count, do you? Yellow is yellow.
Did these white new shirts really work? Someone must have worn yellow today. This is so going in the yearbook.
Whoa, Philly Jean, you got the mega pack of fireworks? I thought that was illegal.
Jess? What? You jinxed me. I spent my college savings on these five.
fireworks. Why would you spend that kind of money on something that literally blows up?
How is this any different than me paying for a college I would fail out of? At least this I get to enjoy.
Well, not anymore you don't. You need to get rid of those.
What are we going to do all day if we can't light off fireworks?
We could still roast marshmallows and hot dogs. You guys going to the fireworks show tonight?
No, Sebastian. And don't rub it in that fireworks are banned. These ones aren't.
What kind of fireworks are not banned?
The ones that they're doing tonight? You'll have to come see for yourself.
Billy Jean, I think we should go.
I don't know.
We could get in trouble if we watch fireworks that are illegal.
They can't possibly be putting every single viewer into jail.
True.
Come on, it's the Fourth of July!
Let's go!
This isn't a fireworks show?
I mean, it kind of is.
It's just using drones instead of fire.
Technology is wild.
Look, the band's over.
Lily Jean, that means you could still light off all your fireworks if you want to.
I would if I didn't trade them all for Squishies since they were banned.
Of course you traded that for Squishies.
Billy Jean, it's April 1st. You know what that means?
Only 43,269 minutes until summer.
Are you seriously counting how many minutes of school we have left?
What? Isn't it normal for prisoners to count down until they're released?
I'm talking about April Fool's Day.
We have to top what we did last year.
Oh, we're going to. I already made a list.
Good try, girls, but I made sure you would not be putting live snakes in my house again.
I talked to the government and we decided to ban pranks for the next 24 hours.
But Principal Franklin...
So if I catch you disobeying, you go to jail.
I'm serious.
This can't be happening. There's no April Fool's Day without pranks.
That's why we're still going to pull them.
What?
So what if we have to go to jail for the day?
We will not let this ruin the best day of the entire year.
I don't know about you, but I really don't want to go to jail.
You only go to jail if you get caught.
What if we don't get caught?
It's not worth the risk.
Oh, come on.
I dare you to pull one prank.
You can't dare me!
How come? Daring isn't banned.
Ugh, fine, just one prank.
Yes! What's first on the list?
Replace all the toilet paper in the bathroom with fake toilet paper.
I love this one.
But remind me to use the bathroom before we replaced them,
because last year I ended up in quite the situation.
Yeah, my sweater was never the same after I let you use it.
Sebastian, why do you have a bucket full of water balloons?
Uh, no reason. Why do you guys have a ton of toilet paper?
No reason. You're pulling a prank, aren't you?
Shh. Someone could hear you.
I'm glad I'm not the only one. It's April Fool's Day. It should be illegal not to.
Oh, we agree. Don't worry. Your secret is safe with us.
Who is responsible for this?
She is soaking wet.
Whoever put a bucket of water balloons above the teacher's lounge come forward immediately.
This has Sebastian written all over it.
Sebastian? Was this you?
No.
Really? Because your face is as red as a tomato. You look guilty.
Okay, it was me, but I'm not the only one in.
here that's been pulling pranks.
He did not just say that.
Stop making excuses.
You're coming with me, young man.
I really hope we don't get caught for a prank.
Please, our poker face is way better than his.
What's next on the list?
No, we said we'd only do one.
But we're having so much fun.
It's put a whoopee cushion under Miss Peppa's chair.
Oh, it is a bad day for Miss Peppa.
There's no one in the class of right now.
You keep watch.
This prank is all mine.
It's gonna be so funny when she sits down.
Why are you two weirders just waiting outside the classroom?
Oh, we were just about to go in.
Did you hear Sebastian is in jail for life?
He's so stupid for pulling that prank.
No, it's just jail for the day.
No, they changed it for life.
They're taking these pranks seriously.
Wait, Becky, don't go in there.
Why?
Because a Billy Jean and I were just about
have a super secret top mission meeting in there
and we need to use the room.
We'll do your secret suss stuff somewhere else.
What should we do?
Clause, Miss Puppa had to go home for today because she was soaking wet.
So I will be teaching your class today.
Let's all take a seat and we can begin.
Oh no, we cannot let him sit down.
I think we should have class outside today.
I agree, it is such a nice day out.
No, we will have class inside. Now quiet.
Maybe we'll get lucky and he won't sit down.
Oh my gosh, Penceville Franklin.
Is your stomach okay?
There's no toilet paper in the bathroom, so it's gonna be a rough day for you.
Okay, not funny.
Who put the whoopee cushion on my chair?
That counts as a prank.
And last I checked, pranks are banned.
So you're going to jail for this, Becky?
What? I didn't do it.
Really?
Yeah, why would you think it was me?
Because you were laughing the loudest.
There's tears in your eyes.
It was really funny.
Oh yeah?
Well, let's see how funny jail is.
I can't believe Becky went to jail for something I did.
I need to tell Principal Franklin the truth.
Why?
Becky is a bully.
She had it coming for her.
That may be the case, but to let her spend the rest of her life
in jail, I don't think I could live with myself.
Think about it this way, Jess.
If you got framed for a prank that Becky pulled,
she wouldn't think twice about it.
She'd probably escort you herself to the prison cell.
True, but I'm not Becky.
If someone who is really not a nice person
got framed for something you did,
would you speak up or would you just take the consequences?
I said green beans or sardines, missy.
Listen, lunch lady, I'm in the middle of a crisis.
I can't think about your questionable food options right now.
Then move it.
She'll take the green beans.
I put halopino seasoning in all of the sardines so people's mouse are going to be burning.
Oh my tongue, it burns!
You're still pulling pranks?
It's still April Fool's Day, and with Principal Franklin and Miss Peppagon for the day,
it just got a whole lot easier to get away with them.
I feel really bad about the whole Becky's situation.
Then do what your gut is telling you.
You know I'll come visit you every day if you decide to go to jail for life.
Sell 8,008?
Jessica, did you come to visit Becky?
How nice of you!
Ew, I'm already in jail.
jail, don't torture me more.
Nice to see you too, Becky.
Why am I even here?
Why are you here?
Principal Franklin, it wasn't Becky who pulled the prank on you.
It was me.
I put the whoopee cushion under your chair.
See, I told you.
Lock her up.
Give her a double sentence.
There's not a longer sentence than life, Becky.
But thank you.
Look, I couldn't let Becky go down for something I did,
no matter how much she may bully me.
You heard her.
Let me out of here.
Wow, Jess.
I'm very disappointed in you.
But I should have known you were the one behind the whoopee cushion.
Come on, Becky.
Jess is going to take your place in jail.
I'm so bored and I've only been in here an hour.
Thanks for the-
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A reminder.
Jessica?
Principal Franklin?
What are you doing here?
Did you pull a prank too?
No, I'm here to let you out.
Let me out, but I pranked you.
Even worse, I let Becky take the fall for it.
Well, I may have taken the prank banning thing
a little too seriously.
You shouldn't be in jail for life
for making me fart in front of the class.
It was a harmless prank.
Principal Franklin, are you warming up to being pranked?
No, but they are running out of jail space
with the banning, so anyone who did harmless pranks
is getting set free.
Interesting, so harmless pranks are okay now.
Well, that's good to know, because I got seven,
well, six.
Pranks I could still pull today.
Now wait a minute Jessica that is not what I don't worry principal Franklin you're gonna love them
Oh no oh no no no dad you need to throw away the ornaments they're banned. I am not throwing them away
The elves worked very hard on making them then hide them but you could get in trouble the government never comes in checks on us Cassie
They know we follow the rules most of the time Santa the government is here to make sure we're following the ornament band
reindeer droppings Cassie go stall them Evie
Help me hide the ornaments.
Hello, sir.
I'm Cassie, Santa's daughter.
Before you can go see Santa,
we're going to check to see if you're on the naughty or nicest this year.
The name's Charlie, and let's not.
Well, Charlie, it is best to know ahead of time
before you wake up on Christmas with Cole in your stocking.
I'm an atheist.
I don't celebrate Christmas.
Now Santa, please.
Right this way.
Before you go in there,
are you sure I can't get you some hot cocoa?
A cookie? A reindeer ride?
Open the door, or you will be taken away for insubordination.
After you.
Ho! Ho! Oh! Sorry to keep you waiting. As you know, it is our busiest time of year.
Happy to see you are following the rules, Santa. We take these bands very seriously.
As you know, it is a very long way for us to travel to check up on the North Pole.
Oh, yes, and we appreciate you making the trip, but there is no need to waste your time on coming back.
Well, that is why I've been assigned to stay here for the Christmas season,
so I could be here to make sure everyone is following the bands at all times.
Unfortunately, we don't have space. We're very busy getting to be here.
ready for the Christmas season. Cassie's right. No visitors. Sorry. Oh, I'm not asking. I'm telling.
You wouldn't want to spend Christmas in jail now, would you, Santa? No, no. Evie, please show Mr. Charles to his room.
Does the person controlling this hate Christmas? Hurry, Cassie, take off your cloak. No! I don't care if they take
me away. This is my favorite. You can wear it again once the band is over. Now go change.
You there, Elf, you're wearing red. Come with me. He's already locking people up. I need to get to my room.
Knock, knock.
Just a minute!
Why is every shirt I own red?
Open this door, Cassie!
Finally.
Ugh, it's hideous.
That's it.
I'm coming in.
What it'll have to do.
Four, three, two, one.
I'm coming in.
Cookie crumbs, my lipstick.
Hello?
Hi, Charlie.
So sorry to keep you waiting.
I was just finishing knitting you this hat.
I thought you might get cold here at the North Pole.
How thoughtful.
But next time when I give you an order, you need to do it.
That's two times now you've been insubordinate.
Well, duty calls.
I'm sure there are a lot of elves out there sitting on this right now.
Wait!
The elves are going to tell you that they're drinking hot cocoa,
but it's really coffee.
We just call it that for the Christmas spirit.
You really expect me to believe that?
It's the truth.
Drink out of their cups if you don't believe me.
I will. Thanks.
Drink out of their cups?
Really, Cassie.
Edel, Evie, dump coffee in every cup you see.
We have to save these chocolate-loving elves.
We're on it.
Cassie.
Where's Charlie?
Did he take away any elves?
No, he said he had to go lay down because he drank too much coffee.
His stomach was doing donuts.
Yes.
Hopefully he'll leave us alone for a while.
Cassie, what do we do?
Leave them for now.
But if anyone sees him up and about, come find me.
We wish you a merry Chris.
Cassie, he's up and headed for the stables.
Already?
Charlie, wait.
The reindeer aren't in there anymore.
They've already been taken care of since they're abandoned all.
their band and all.
Then it should be no problem if I check in there.
You really need to work on telling better lies.
Thanks, Evie.
Good job.
What did you do with them all?
I really don't know.
Well, I am very impressed on how seriously you all are taking the bands.
Good work.
Cassie, where are the reindeer?
I was gonna ask you the same thing.
Should I go tell Santa?
No.
I'm supposed to be keeping everything under control.
I will.
Dad, we have a little bit of a...
Why are there reindeer in your office?
I saw the reindeer band and figured he would never look here.
Would you help me take them back down to this table though?
Comment already left me a present.
Ugh.
I hope this guy leaves soon.
He's ruining Christmas.
There you go, big guys.
Oh no.
Oscar, if you're going to eat a cookie,
you have to eat it in one bite so he doesn't see.
Whatever you say, my love.
For the last time, we're not dating.
You sure know how to break an elf's heart.
Evie, give me that!
Oh, my tongue!
It was fresh out of the oven!
Cassie, is that a cookie in your hand?
No?
Let me see. Open up your hand.
It was my cookie. She took it from me because of the band.
Oscar, what are you doing?
Saving your life, sweet stuff.
You know I don't date elves.
I know, but maybe this will change your mind.
It was me. Take me away!
Okay then, you're going to jail, Oscar.
I did it all for love!
Don't worry, Cassie.
I'll come back for you.
Oh, brother.
Everyone back to work.
And no singing.
He can't take away the elves.
I have to do something.
Santa, what are we gonna do?
They can't just ban elves that's inhumane.
We have to hide them.
Hide all 1,000 of them.
Get in line.
You are all going to jail.
Charlie, stop!
Cassie, I'm just doing my job.
You are ruining Christmas.
The elves have been nothing but kind to you.
How dare you even think about
taking them away. It's only until the band is over, then they can come back. They will lose precious
work hours right before Christmas. If you take them away, some boys and girls won't get their
toys made in time for this year. I'm sorry. I don't make the bands. I just enforce them.
I know you don't celebrate Christmas, Charlie, but a lot of people do. And now they won't get a
wake up to a gift from Santa because the elves won't have time to make them all. I could get in a lot
of trouble if I don't. But you're right. I don't want to be responsible for ruining people's
Christmases. So go ahead. Don't follow the bands the rest of the season. I won't tell anyone if you don't.
Horry!
What's wrong? I said it was okay. Hurry up. Get your sling!
But the bands aren't just for the North Pole. If Santa delivers the presents, all the boys and girls will be in danger.
That would be part of celebrating Christmas. Okay, so we wait for it to change. They change pretty
quickly. It won't be too long.
I appreciate the spirit, Charlie. But I would need to leave in ten minutes to make it to all the houses in time.
It's over. There will be no Christmas this year.
Dad, I'm telling you, banning Christmas is a mistake.
You're taking away people's joy.
You've gone too far.
Then I quit. And I'm going to tell everyone I know I quit, too.
Your dad runs all of this?
He's on the board with those who do.
I tried to talk to him, but it didn't work. I'm sorry.
Well, thanks for trying.
It must have worked. He switched it.
Is there enough time for Santa to still deliver the presents?
If he gets out of here in the next 30 seconds, he just must be.
seconds, he just might make it.
Bye Santa!
Ho!
Oh, ho, oh!
Merry Christmas!
Charlie, is everything okay?
More than okay.
My dad just quit, too.
He doesn't want to be a part of the system anymore either.
Maybe things will finally change.
Well, I should probably get back.
Merry Christmas, Cassie.
Merry Christmas, Charlie.
Now, elves, let's get this party, see.
