Jessica Kaylee - POV: You wake up in 2016

Episode Date: February 23, 2026

POV: You wake up in 2016 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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to $1 $10 dollars, pay to pay I heard that song since 2016. Why was it my alarm? Where are all my clothes? I only have skinny jeans and flannels. Jerica must have rated my closet again. Why did I buy jeans so tight?

Wow! No choker today, Jess? Ew, no, chokers are out of style. Already? You've been wearing that thing non-stop for weeks. What? Yes! I got a shiny Pikachu! Are you playing Pokemon Go? I didn't even know people still played that game. Duh! It just came out like a... came out like a month ago?

No, it didn't. It came out in 2016. Yeah, and that's the year we're in right now. It's not 2016. It's 2016? Wait, are you guys being serious? You really think it's 2016? We know it's 2016.

Just as much as I know, if you two don't leave right now, you'll be late for school. Just look at the calendar app on your phone. I don't even know they made iPhones as small. How did I wake up in 2016? What is happening? Yeah, a middle part is not for you. I know one thing hasn't changed.

Becky's still mean. Jess, this is terrible. Philly Jean, oh, you have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that. What is going on? I know! How could they not cancel class even though Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris broke up? Like, hello? We're going through emotional turmoil over here and can't focus.

Wait, what? Taylor Swift is engaged to Travis Kelsey. The football player? Yeah, right. That would never happen. Am I the only one who realizes we went back in time? I wish I could go back in time and stop. Taylor and Calvin from breaking up. No, you're gonna be thankful later.

Trust me. Oh, we gotta go to history class. That's ironic. The last pandemic we had was in 1920. It was the Spanish flu pandemic. Yeah, and then we all get COVID-19 in 2020. I've never heard of COVID-19. Did you mean to say 2020?

That's four years away. Seriously? No one here remembers COVID-19? That was like the worst year ever. Jess, you're starting to sound a little crazy, and it's getting to the point where I can't defend you. Seriously? No one here remembers 2020?

The face masks, the TikTok dances, the killer hornets. Okay, she's gone insane. Are you feeling okay? Maybe you should go see the nurse. Oh, I'm fine. I guess I just have to relive the next 10 years. Okay, and the off chance you are telling the truth. Does one direction ever get back together?

No, and Harry Stiles cuts his hair. No! Hey honey, how was school? Fine. I've officially accepted, we're in 2016. Great. Oh, there's a new show, Stranger Things, that just came out.

You want to watch it? Wait, Stranger Things just came out? I cannot wait another 10 years for the finale. I'm going to bed. What? Why? So I could hopefully wake up in 2026 again. I will never understand teenagers. Oh, where is my phone?

Wait, an actual alarm clock? How do you turn this thing off? Spice Girl CDs? A picture of young Tom Cruise? friends on VHS? This is definitely not 2026. Is it seriously? 1996? I knew it. My older sister's dumb and I'm smarter than her. This is serious. What year is it? It's been 1996 for the past eight months. You should really stop sitting right in front of

the TV when you watch it. Screens are not meant to be that close to your face. You're losing brain cells. I need to use the internet to Google something. What's Google? Seriously, we don't have Google? Then I need to look something up. We don't have internet, honey. You know that. Then what is that brick of a computer for? To play Minesweeper and Solitaire. How do I look up information? You have to go to the library and read a book? Real quick.

Have either of you started collecting Beattie Babies? I have. Don't bother. They'll be worth nothing. How are you supposed to find anything in these massive books? I really miss Chatchee BT. Oh, this reading is making me tired. Jess! Jess! Jess! Philly Jean?

I was having the craziest dream. Crazier than Grace Kelly marrying Prince Modico? Huh? I must have gone further back in time. It's 1950? 56. Sipping on those books must have got you feeling all goofy. I know what'll make you feel better. The Elvis record. Let's go listen to it.

Really too bad what happens to Oma. What do you mean? Never mind. Where have you been, young lady? young lady. I was with Billy Jean. We were listening to Elvis Presley's new album. I don't like that, Mr. Presley one bit, the way he gyrates his hips around.

I wish you kids would stop listening to so much music and start reading and getting outside more. Wait, is Elvis Presley really considered the brain raw of the 50s? I don't know what that is, but yes. I'll be in my room. Oh, the ladies are coming over today for a Teppeware party, so I'll be busy. I seem to only time travel whenever I fall asleep, but I still don't understand why this is only happening to me.

But I'm not falling asleep again. Who knows what decade I could end up in next. Just stay awake. But without energy drinks or TV, that's gonna be hard. Oh. Jess, sweetie, you need to milk the cow. Oh no. I fell asleep.

1856? This is the furthest back of time I've gone. Morning, Jess, almost done with your tours? Billie Jean. I'm so happy to see you. Why? Because the consumption hasn't got What? No, I mean, I'm glad you didn't die from the consumption, but I'm just the farthest back in time I've ever traveled. I didn't know you were going to be here.

What are you talking about? Really, Jane, I've been time traveling all week and I don't know how to get back to 2026. Just don't speak like that. It sounds like witchcraft. I wish I was a witch. Then I could take myself back. Don't say that. Lee Jean, you have to believe me. I mean, who would name their kid Billy Jean in 1856? It's a family name. I could really use your help to get back. Witch! Jess is speaking witchcraft.

What? Billy Jean, please. A witch? Rich crap. Bird her at the stake. Oh no. I think I lost him. You there. You aren't permitted here.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to trespass. I was just running from people. What are you running from? The whole town. I think I'm a witch. And why is that? You wouldn't believe me even if I told you.

Try me. So that about sums it up. Let me guess. You think I'm crazy too, right? No, it happens all the time. Here, come here. I'll help you. What?

How? I'm a witch. All you have to do is drink this potion. It'll take you back to... What was it, you said? 2026. Thank you so much. Is there anything I can give you in return?

Any sort of payment? No, no. You'll understand what you must give me in return when you go back to your time. Okay. I feel funny. Jess, wake up. Class is over. Oh, sorry.

I... Wait. Am I back? It's 2026? Wait. You were the witch from the woods that brought me back. That's right. And it was me who sent you back in the first place.

What? Why? You haven't been paying attention in my class, and I wanted to teach you a lesson. So that's what I'm supposed to give you in return to stay in 2026 is my attention? That's right. You know, they could have burned me at the stake, right?

I could have died. So what? I've been burned at the stake loads of time. It's not that bad. Hopefully you learned your lesson and will pay attention in my class. Fine. By the way, what is a Tupperware party?