Jessica Kaylee - Take it or Double it

Episode Date: October 22, 2025

Take it or Double it Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 One million dollars take it or double it and give it to the next monster? Hmm. You're right. Monsters don't need money. And if we do, we take it anyways. 200 fingernails? Take it or double it and give it to the next monster? Take.
Starting point is 00:00:26 How did you get all those fingernails? The game? It's like human Christmas. There's even some toenails in here. Lucky. All I've gotten so far are these eyeballs, and they don't even look fresh. Definitely not fresh. I really hope I get a good option soon.
Starting point is 00:00:45 Oh, my monster! I got another one! One bottle of poison? Take it or double it? Take! I love a good death. Delicious! That's weird. What's weird? I didn't get that burning sensation you normally get from poison.
Starting point is 00:01:09 And my eyes don't feel like they're about to burst. Let me see that. Uh, Molly? What? You dummy, this doesn't see poison. It says potion. Do you even know how to read? Well, forgive me. My eyes are dead.
Starting point is 00:01:23 So is your brain. Exactly. Well, what does the potion do? I can't tell. It doesn't say. Molly? Are you okay? No, something's happening inside of me. And all of a sudden, I feel like my heart is about to burst.
Starting point is 00:01:38 Burst? Yeah, it's just like expanding and expanding. And I feel like... Wait. Is that noise what I think it is? I'm... I'm alive! Well, looks like we found out what the potion does. This is horrible. All of a sudden, I'm not craving eyeballs and fingernails.
Starting point is 00:01:57 I'm craving something salty, like a potato. Billy Jean, we have to find poison for me to drink. I need to be dead again. But what if the poison doesn't turn you back into a monster? What if... No, don't think like that. We have to. What if the next time you die, you die for good?
Starting point is 00:02:12 You don't think that would actually happen if I drank the poison, do you? I think it's a strong possibility. Poison for sale. Come get your poison. I have to try. I hate this warm feeling going through my body. Lazzang sur-gely, puissance-mojointed, for 15 minutes. We're like to play. Vive the pleasure with Leo Jo.
Starting point is 00:02:33 The casino on-line that propose the more recent machine-ass-assoo and games of casino in direct. Profite of 50 tours gratu on Big Bas Bonanza, without exigance of misuse and with the payments instantane. I got to get. Woohoo! Sontire me pleasure. Play-O-Joe. 108 and plus,
Starting point is 00:02:47 1st,000 depot only, exclude in Ontario. 50 tours on the machine-a-soubik-Bas Bonanza. Depos minimum of $10. Beye to play a way responsible. The conditions apply. One poison, please.
Starting point is 00:02:56 Whoa, Molly, you sound different and smell different. No time to talk. Just give me the poison. Still, just as bossy, though. Here you go. Okay, poison. Make me monster dead.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Not dead, dead. Molly, wait. What if this is your way of getting a second chance? Think about it. When was the last time you were alive? Three thousand years ago? Exactly. Life's different now. Girls can go to school and learn how to read. I can read, but I don't know how to talk to humans. Just think about it.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Please. Fine. I'll try being a human. But if it's anything less than pure and utter torture, I'm drinking the poison. Molly, come out. I can't believe I let you talk me into going to human school. You'll do great. We found the perfect outfit for you to blend in. No one will even know. what's your first day in the human world in 3,000 years.
Starting point is 00:03:45 My skin hasn't even turned back to normal. They're gonna know. Forget about how pale you are. Now let's see you smile. Huh. Never mind. Don't smile. I can't go.
Starting point is 00:03:56 Even though I have a beating heart now, I'm still a monster. Your skin might be dead, but your heart's alive. You're human. Molly, you can do this. And whenever you don't know what to say, just say your mom.
Starting point is 00:04:07 Humans say that all the time. Thanks, Billy Jean. There's no way I would blend in without you. 2,000 bugs take it or double? This is perfect timing. I can make friends by giving them bugs. Is she wearing? Why is no one dressed like me?
Starting point is 00:04:28 Yo, Halloween's next week, freak. Your mom's next week, freak. What did you just say? I said, your mom. Keep my mom out of your mouth. You keep your mom out of my mouth. No kid, I'm gonna make your life hell. We're starting to become friends, aren't we?
Starting point is 00:04:43 No. Don't talk to. to me again. Starting to think Billy Jean knows nothing about humans. Hey new kid. Why are you wearing that? It's the only clothes I have at the moment. Why? Are you like super poor? Long story. What a buck? I don't think she liked you. Molly, how was your first day in the human world? People made fun of me all day. No one wears this anymore, Billy Jean. Really? What do they wear? Clothes that show your belly holes and smelly armpits? Oh, gross. Very. Also, saying, your mom, every sentence is not cool. It got me sent straight to the principal's office.
Starting point is 00:05:26 What? How? The teacher was like, Molly, do you need anything? And I was like, your mom. Sorry, Molly. My advice might be a little outdated. So give me the poison. I'm not going back to human school again. But you could die. Please, just give it one more chance. We'll get you better clothes this time and maybe put some makeup on you so you don't look so pale. Now you'll blend in for sure. Let's see that smile. Okay, well, we're still working on that. Would you look at that? The new kid got a makeover.
Starting point is 00:05:56 Yeah, I was hoping you would too, but you just got uglier. What are you laughing at? All right, class. Today we're going to be playing dodgeball. Break off into your usual team. Molly, you can be a part of the blue team. Coach, come on. Shouldn't she have to sit out the first round?
Starting point is 00:06:11 No, she can play. Just stay out of our way. So what's the point of the game? You just throw the ball at them? Yeah, you try and hit him with the ball. Intriguing. Ow! Nice, throw.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Thanks. Get him, Molly! Coach! Coach! I forfeit! I forfeit! All right, the Blue Team wins. Molly! Molly!
Starting point is 00:06:37 Molly! You're a monster. How did you know? Huh? It's just a saying. Oh. You're really good. You totally won that game for us.
Starting point is 00:06:45 Okay, class. Since the Blue Team won so quickly, we have time for one more round. Get in position. Molly, are you okay? I don't feel good. Molly? Molly, we need an AED. That game was intense.
Starting point is 00:07:08 What? Why is everyone screaming? Because you're dead. I am? Would you look at that? I'm dead. But you're alive? Right.
Starting point is 00:07:18 That is kind of a funny story. A hundred. Ghosts take it or double it? Perfect timing. They can help me distract them. Those are not ghosts. Why are they ghosts? But they seem to be doing the trick.
Starting point is 00:07:36 Molly? You're back? And you're dead? I'm a monster again. The potion must have worn off. I missed you. How was being human for 48 hours? So boring.
Starting point is 00:07:46 But they do have this really fun game. Here, take this ball and now try and hit me with it. Okay. Like that? That is fun. They really need to make better labels. The potion and the poison look way too similar. Not if you can read.
Starting point is 00:08:03 I can read. You've memorized certain words in your life, but you've never learned to read. Here, try reading this. Okay, so I can't read, but I was alive 3,000 years ago before they had books. I think they had books back then. Give me the bottles. I'll put pictures on them. The skull is poison. The witch is potion. Got it. Witch hat poison.
Starting point is 00:08:23 No. Oh, it's the other way around, you idiot! Wait, so I just drink... Yep. Well, looks like we know what that potion does.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.