Jessica Kaylee - Would You Rather

Episode Date: August 30, 2025

You have to play a game of would you rather Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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by a way responsible. The conditions apply. Shave off all my hair or eat a clump of hair? Gross, that is not the type of protein I'm trying to eat. I guess I'll shave off all my hair. And shave my leg hair because it does not specify what hair? And done. What the heck?

I shaved off all my leg hair. Oh, I guess I did miss a spot. Yes. Uh, Billy Jean, why are you wearing a banana costume? It was my would-you-rather question this morning. What was your other option? You don't want to know. Does you have to wear a banana costume at school?

Yeah, it said I had a dress like a banana all day. You know you could have just worn yellow, right? It said dress like a banana, not as a banana. Does that really work? Oh yeah, I'm constantly finding ways around it. Like today, mine was shave all your hair, and I shaved all my leg hair. Well, just be careful, because there might be one that you can't work around, and then you'll end up like Jeremy, who had to go to the hospital.

hospital for drinking poison. Poor Jeremy. Drink expired milk or eat moldy food? Ew, my would you rather is disgusting today. Better than my would you rather. I had to get tase this morning. Where am I even gonna find those things? I think I have expired milk at my house

if you wanna drink that. I'll pass. That stuff's probably like a million years old. Yeah, that's probably true. Hey Sebastian. Any chance your sandwich is moldy? Uh, no. Why?

Jessica is trying to find something moldy. to eat. Ew, that's disgusting. Billie Jean. No, Sebastian. Sorry, that's not true. Sorry, I was just trying to help. I can't believe you did that. I don't know which one to choose. Hey, what's on your salad? Blue cheese, why?

Give it here. Jess, what the heck? That's my lunch. Blue cheese has mold in it. Okay, don't talk with your mouthful, ya nasty girl. Don't you have manners? Sorry, blue cheese has mold on it, so it's technically moldy food, but it's totally, totally safe to eat. Wow, good boot.

Now give me back my lunch. Okay. Yesterday was a little tough, but I still found a way around it. So get a tongue piercing or a neck tattoo? I am not getting a tongue piercing. Neck tattoo it is then. Billie Jean, you were right. I know, but what was I right on?

I can't find a way around this one. I'm gonna text you an address. Can you come meet me? I could really use your support. I'm on my way. Uh, Jess. Why are we outside a tattoo shop? Because I either had to get a tongue piercing or a neck tattoo, so I chose...

Neck tattoo? Yep. Are you sure you can't find a way around this? I can't think of anything. Will you please hold my hand while it happens? Of course I will. But don't even think about asking if I want to get matching tattoos. I wasn't going to.

You ready, kid? Ready as I'll ever be. Don't worry. It's only gonna hurt a lot. Ah! Jess, you're holding my hand too tight. Sorry. All right.

Here we go. Three, two, what? Ow! What? I haven't even touched you yet. Sorry. I thought I felt something. Okay, let's try this again. Three, two, what? Wait, stop!

What is it, Billy Jean? I found a way around it. You can get a temporary tattoo. Oh my gosh, you're right. It never said it had to be permanent. Do you have any temporary tattoos here? Yeah, but they're all unicorns. I'm a big unicorn guy.

Anything is better than a permanent tattoo. Thank you, Billy. Now I can just hide this for a few days instead of the rest of my life. Besides, it's not like it's school photo day or anything. Actually... No. Yeah. Cut off a finger or cut off a toe?

That's horrible! Jess, what are you going to do? You really can't do either of those. It's going to be so painful. I don't know. I'm still trying to think of something. Maybe you could just cut one off and then go to the hospital really fast so they could sew it back on. That would still be very painful.

Plus, we don't even know if they'd be able to reattach it. What? Well, I don't know. I really think they could. We're not doctors. I am not trying that. Okay, okay, we'll keep thinking. I have to pick something or it will choose for me.

What are you going to do? I don't know. Wait, it just says a finger or a toe, right? Uh, yeah. Billy Jean, go guard the door. Why? Because. Whoa, Jess, what are you going to do?

It doesn't say it has to be my finger or my toe, so... Mr. Skeleton is gonna lose a finger. That's genius! Yes, it worked! What's going on in here? Someone's here. You are a terrible door watcher. Yeah, and I think we should run.

Go to jail or send your bully to jail? I'm not even gonna try and find a way out of this one. Sorry, Becky, I hope you like the color orange. Billy Jean, my would you rather today is so good. Did you have to lick the gym floor again? Ew, no, and that wouldn't have been a good thing. Hey, losers. Nice make. Take up, Jess. Where'd you get it done? Clown College.

Just ignore her, Billy Jean. We won't have to deal with her for much longer. What's that supposed to mean? You're such a weirdo. Uh, guys, why are the cops here? We're looking for a Becky Johansen. Uh, that's me? You need to come with us. You're going to jail. What? Why? Someone chose this as there would you rather today. Now let's get moving.

Jess, was that you? Yup. Long time no C, Jess. You're back already? I just had a go. to jail, I didn't have to get locked up. Bummer. Hey!

I mean, super happy for ya. Bye. Slap your crush or slap your best friend? I could never slap Billy Jean. But she might be more understanding than Nathan. Come on, Jess, you're gonna be late. I guess I'll have to decide later. Hey, Billy Jean.

Hey Jess. My would you rather wasn't too bad today. Finally. What was yours? I still haven't decided yet. Really? What are your options? To slap my crush or slap my best?

friend? What? You better not slap me. Well, I don't want to slap Nathan either. If I do, he might never like me back. And if you slap me, you won't have anyone to call when you have another locker room emergency. Okay, fine. Here comes Nathan.

Hey, Jess. Hey, Billy Jeet. Hey, Nathan. You better brace yourself, Nathan. Uh, Jess, what are you doing with your hand? Uh, Nathan, high five! Whoa, that was a pretty hard slap. Nice.

It would have been nice if it was on your face. What? Nothing! Ignore her! You have very soft hands. Bye! You have very soft hands? Why did I say that?

That was a close one. I still can't believe you were even considering slapping me. Hey, if the worlds were reversed, you would slap me. We're not talking about that right now. Would you rather... Oh no. I don't know, Billy Jean. What if I just don't pick?

But you have to pick, or the game picks for you. This is the worst would you rather ever! You could pick me if you want. It's okay. No, Billy Jean. If you don't just don't pick you just. died because of me I would never forgive myself but Jess I'm gonna pick me I'll die tomorrow Jess no how are you doing I'm okay I think it's just really scary knowing

that I'm gonna die and I don't know how I can't believe you would die to save me remember what I'm going to do without you I'm sorry Billy Jean Sebastian can you turn that down we're having a serious conversation I just keep dying in the game and I play better if I've the sound on so I can hear all the zombies what game are you even playing Zombies for zombies too? It's basically like you're a zombie and you have to kill all the other zombies. No, no, no! Dang, I just died again. Wait, Sebastian, what did you say? You're a zombie and you have to kill all the other zombies?

No, after that. I just died again? Yes, give me that. Dude, what the heck. Game, oh, wow. Why are you happy about it? Because I died in the game. If this completes my would you rather, I don't have to die in real life.

I hope it works. That was a close one.