Jessica Kaylee - You make a Deal with the Devil
Episode Date: September 29, 2025You make a Deal with the Devil Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
Transcript
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Where am I?
You are in the Great Down Under where you suffer.
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are. You're in hell.
Oh, M.G. gross!
So I'm like... dead?
Yeah, that's kinda how this whole hell thing works.
You have to die.
Well, how did I die?
Was it a noble death?
Did I save a kitten from a tree?
Let's see here.
You ate Mary and Berry pie. You're allergic.
Oh, well, clearly there's been some mistake because, no offense.
I don't belong down here. I obviously belong up there.
No offense, but you don't. It says you belong right here.
Yeah, I don't think so. Can I speak to the manager?
Listen, Karen.
It's Chloe.
I am the guy. There's no one farther down the hell pole than me.
And the paper says, you belong here.
Well, what does it even say I did?
You took candy from a baby, stole your friend's boyfriend,
pushed your grandma down the stairs.
Okay, you can stop.
Are you sure? Because there's like a hundred more horrible things you've done here.
No.
It's really okay. I deserve to be here.
No one has ever belonged more.
So what do you guys like do down here anyways?
Suffer! You can do hail hot yoga or get your fingernails pulled off at the hail salon.
You will not touch these fingernails. They're vintage.
Look, Mr. Devil, you seem like a very understanding guy.
Then you must be horrible at reading people.
If you won't let me go to heaven, will you at least let me go back to earth?
Okay, okay. I don't do this very...
often but I'll make you a date. Do you accept? Yes, I accept. Now what's the deal? I'll let you
choose. You can go back to earth and live for eternity or... I choose that one. Now hold on,
I didn't say the other option. I don't want to stay another second in this hellhole, pun intended.
I'm getting out of here. Are you sure you don't want to hear the other option before
you press that button? Bye. Mom, dad, I'm back. Who are you? And why are you in my house?
Mom, it's okay. It's me, Chloe, your daughter.
I don't have a daughter. Now get out or I'll call the police.
You're joking, right? Is this because I died?
I know this is probably very confusing, but I...
I've never had a daughter.
What are you talking about?
That's it. I'm calling the police.
No, it's fine. I'll leave.
Now!
Hello?
Mary Jane, thank goodness you're home.
I was just at my parents' house and for some weird reason they don't remember me.
Can I crash here for a while?
I'm sorry, but do I know you?
Yeah, we've been best friends since like the third grade.
I know this is probably weird because I did die and all,
but...
I think you have the wrong person, but I hope you find that.
No, no, no, Mary Jane, close the door!
Mary Jane!
Why does no one remember me?
Just the Ouija board today?
Yeah.
That'll be 37 and 69.
Who you try to talk to?
Just summoning an old friend down under.
We'll be careful and make sure you read the instructions.
Read the instructions?
She acts like I've never seen a scary moment.
movie before. I don't need these. Okay, Mr. Devil, it's time we meet again.
To me, I was about to get eaten by a devil dragon. He did not look like he had ever
brushed his teeth. Tooth fairy? Why were you in hell? Small misunderstanding, that's all.
Tell me, or I'll send you back. No, no, no, please, I don't belong there. Then you better
start talking. It all started when some parents were trying to do my job for me. They were
taking their kids' teeth and leaving them money. But I refused to be replaced by humans or robots.
so I decided to get some revenge.
Oh my God, you killed them?
Killed?
Who said anything about killing?
I stole the money.
That's it.
That's why you were in hell?
I may have also left them
little rotten tooth droppings on their pillows as well.
Gross.
And when the fairy board learned what I had been doing,
they set me to the grate down under
to face out a sentence.
That is until you saved me.
Yeah, yeah, you're welcome.
Now, Scram, because I'm trying to summon the devil,
and if he sees you here, he'll take you back with him.
Well, looks like someone missed me.
I can't blame you.
I'm hard to resist.
You lied to me.
It's not lying when you refuse to listen.
I tried to tell you.
Why does no one remember me?
That was part of the terms and conditions of your choice.
You can live forever on Earth, but no one remembers you, and no one can remember you.
They'll forget you the second you leave.
That's terrible.
That's why it's a hell curse.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Then what's the point of living for us?
The point is that you suffer.
You went to hell, remember?
I want to change what I picked.
You can't.
Why not?
Haven't you heard not to do deals with the devil?
They're irreversible.
Now back to hell I go.
But real quick.
You haven't seen a tooth fairy flying around, have you?
No.
Alright then.
Don't call me again unless it's for more punishment.
This totally sucks.
Hi, I'd like to get an apartment?
Well, it looks like I have one left,
so just fill up this apple.
and bring it back when you're done.
I'll hold it for you in the meantime.
Thank you.
Hopefully I can fill this out before she forgets about me.
I finished the application.
I don't remember giving you an application.
Well, you did because I have it.
Can I have the apartment?
I'm sorry, but I have it on hold for that gentleman right there.
But it was supposed to be on hold for me.
I'm all done with the application, ma'am.
You took my apartment.
I'm sorry, what's going on?
Excuse her. He did not.
Now you're going to have to leave.
Uh...
Hi.
I would like to get an apartment today.
Okay, well here's an application and just bring it back whenever you're finished.
So if you just stay right here, I'll fill it out really quick, and then we can go up there together.
As long as it's quick.
And here are your keys.
Thank you so much.
Ow!
Oh, sorry.
Aren't you that girl that accused me of stealing her apartment?
Yeah.
Wait.
You remember me?
Of course I remember you.
I thought you were going to hit me there for a second.
It's just no one remembers me.
I really do.
doubt that. You'd be surprised. I'm just moving out of the apartment down the hall.
We could have been neighbors. I am sorry about whatever happened earlier. I don't
know all the details, but you seemed pretty upset. It's okay. It's just been a long
couple of days. Well, I'll see you around. See ya. It just doesn't make any sense. The
curse was I could live forever, but no one would remember me. So why does he? Legend says
that your one true love will always remember you.
I have to go see him again.
Hello!
Sorry, I was...
I was not trying to creep outside your door.
Then why are you?
I wanted to ask you,
would you want to go on a walk and get some ice cream or something?
I'd love to.
I don't know why, but I feel strangely connected to you.
I feel the same way.
Oh, no way! There's my buddy Jake. I'll introduce you.
Oh, I don't think that's a good idea.
Relax, it's not like I'm having you meet my parents.
He's a friend, come on.
Jake, what's up, man?
Long time no see! Who's the...
This is...
Chloe.
Dude, you didn't know her name?
I guess I'd ever got it.
I'm Leo, by the way.
Alright, well, it was crazy seeing you, brother.
Enjoy your date.
I cannot believe I never even asked for your name.
I honestly didn't even realize until just then.
It's just so easy to talk to.
Jake's totally gonna give me crap about that for a long time.
I don't think so.
You don't know him.
Leo, I need to tell you something.
What? Is everything okay?
Jake's not going to remember me.
Sure.
He will. You're very memorable.
He can't remember me.
Because... because I'm cursed.
So let me get this straight.
You can't age. You live forever.
And no one can remember you but me because I'm your soulmate.
Look, I know it's a lot to take in on our first...
Whatever this is, but you were gonna have to find out eventually.
Yeah, no, uh, thanks for telling me.
I'm just gonna go home though. It's been a long day.
I'll see you later.
Yeah.
Okay.
What are you doing here?
I thought you were going home.
I was. But then I was.
And I called Jake and you're right.
He doesn't remember you.
Okay?
So it made me think, how could I live my life if I let my soulmate get away?
Leo, it's not just Jake who will remember me, okay?
It's waiters and your parents and my parents and we will never be able to live a normal life together.
I don't care.
Okay, then what about A.G.
You're gonna get old and I won't.
So you're gonna have to date a Silver Fox.
Who cares?
Are you sure you wanna do this?
I am so sure.
He's doing okay, but he doesn't.
have much time left. I would prepare yourself. Hey Leo. There's my younger woman. We're the same age,
you idiot. Shh, they don't know that. They think I got game out here with my walker and gray hairs.
What am I going to do without you? You're going to live for both of us. Because even when I'm gone,
I will still be with you. Somewhere up in the sky looking down at you. Hey, watch out. You're going to get hit by a bus.
What? Oh crap.
Is she okay?
How is she still alive?
Call 911.
Chloe?
Yeah.
Are you the doctor?
I'm sure you have a lot of questions.
No, I'm the keeper of heaven.
You have died.
Died?
That's impossible.
Leo said you would be shocked to hear that.
Leo's here?
You've talked to him?
Yes.
Here's the reason you're up here.
He told us all about what you've been going through and how you've changed.
So we're giving you a choice.
You can stay on earth and live out your deal with the devil,
or you can stay here in heaven with Leo.
What's the catch?
No catch.
We like honesty up here.
So those are your options.
What do you choose?
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