Just As Well, The Women's Health Podcast - AJ Odudu on Being an Extrovert in Lockdown and Opening Up About Racial Justice

Episode Date: November 26, 2020

We're thinking of you at WH during this most November-y of Novembers. If you’re having a pretty grey day, we hope that today’s show will be a bit of a brightener. Rather than a conversation that homes in on how to achieve a specific health goal, we’ve got an interview for you with one of the most fun and interesting up-and-coming female stars on our screens right now. She’s AJ Odudu, the 32-year-old Blackburn-born presenter who you’ll know from TV shows including The Voice and Don’t Rock the Boat with Freddie Flintoff. Her on-screen brand is all high energy and warm smiles, but in today’s episode – in which she chats to WH’s digital fitness writer Morgan Fargo - she opens up about how tricky 2020 was to manage for someone as extroverted as herself. However, she tells us how lockdown has taught her some valuable lessons - not least the importance of establishing a solid workout routine and getting enough rest. AJ also speaks candidly about how the Black Lives Matter movement affected her emotionally, and why the article she wrote for Vogue (which was shared widely online - do have a Google and read it if you haven’t already) was a form of self-therapy. It’s a chat that’s sunny, energising - and really thought provoking. Follow AJ Odudu on Instagram: @ajodudu Follow Morgan Fargo on Instagram: @morganfargo Follow Women's Health on Instagram: @womenshealthuk Topics: AJ Odudu on being an extrovert during lockdown Learning the importance of getting enough rest How affirmations help give her confidence presenting Why the Black Lives Matter movement was a time of trauma How she motivates herself to workout Like what you’re hearing? We'd love if you could rate and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, as it really helps other people find the show. Also, remember to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, so you’ll never miss an episode.  Got a goal in mind? Shoot us a message on Instagram putting ‘Going for Goal’ at the start of your message and our experts could be helping you achieve your health goal in an upcoming episode. Alternatively, you can email us: [e-mail]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello everyone, you are listening to Going for Goal, the weekly women's health podcast. I'm your host, senior editor, Roshin Dervichokane, and this is your weekly chance to plug in and be inspired to work on your health and wellness. I hope everyone's feeling okay during this most November-y of November's. And if you're having a pretty grey day, well, I hope that today's show will be a bit of a brightener. Rather than the conversation that homes in on how to achieve a specific health goal, we've got an interview for you. with one of the most interesting up-and-coming female broadcasters on our screens right now. She's A.J. A.D. Doodoo, the 32-year-old Blackburn-born presenter, who you'll know from TV shows, including The Voice, and most recently, don't rock the boat with Freddie Flintov.

AJ's on-screen brand is all high energy and warm smiles. But in today's episode, where she chats to women's health digital fitness writer Morgan Fargo, she opens up about how tricky 2020 was to manage for someone as extroverted as herself, especially the first lockdown. But ultimately, how lockdown taught her some valuable lessons, not least the importance of establishing a solid workout routine, and something she was pretty bad at prioritising before, getting enough rest.

She also speaks candidly about how the huge swell in awareness and support for the Black Lives Matter movement, following the killing of George Floyd in the US earlier this year, affected her emotionally. The pressures on black people in the public eye to educate society on issues such as racial justice, when they, herself included, were still healing themselves at a traumatic time. Plus how the article she wrote for Vogue, which was shared very widely online,

do go have a Google and read if you haven't already, was a real form of self-therapy. It's a chat that's at once sunny and energising and really thought-provoking. I hope you enjoy. Over to Morgan. AJ, welcome to the pod. I am so excited to be here with you today and I know that you are mega busy at the moment. so thank you for making the time. What is your life like at the moment? Oh, my gosh.

First of all, thanks for having me. Life at the moment is so hectic, so busy, and it's so ironic that I've literally spent literally like months by myself. Lockdown for me was me, myself and I in my flat, in South East London, and now I am go, go, go, but nothing that I'm complaining about, all really, really fun stuff. Definitely. And lockdown is so different, isn't it? Because you spend so much time by yourself and then suddenly you're surrounded by people.

How has that been? Really amazing. But also, if I'm being completely honest, like a shock to the system. Because I went from doing Zoom calls and not having any physical interaction with anyone, one, one, or whatever, I didn't see

family, didn't see friends, two, going across Great Britain to film Don't Rock the Book for I TV with a crew

of a hundred people, we put ourselves in this massive bubble. I was having COVID tests every two days. I had a rod up my nose.

And, you know, it was quite overwhelming to begin with because I think even for A socialite, once you adapt to being by yourself, it is suddenly really difficult to be around so many people constantly. You're like, oh my gosh, what's going on here?

But again, we are human, we are adaptable creatures, and I got into the swing of things really, really quick and enjoyed them so much and enjoys being around people the most I've ever enjoyed it before. And are you a naturally extroverted person? So was it a shock to then suddenly find being around people a little bit overwhelming at the beginning? Yeah, I just couldn't believe. I was like, oh my gosh, this is really stressful because my mum, for example, like she's up north. She's been isolating by yourself. And other members of my family that I actually started to be even more concerned about

because I thought, well, if I, the biggest, loudest extrovert ever, can somehow feel overwhelmed about being around people socially. And what amoeuvre is it doing for other people who aren't quite as out there? So luckily, everyone's still intact. And that's what I hope for everyone across the world, really, that when we do start to integrate more into society, that you can blend as easily as you used to be able to. And you and your mum did that interview for women's health about learning to be confident

and all the things you've picked up over the way. How has it been not being able to see her regularly? Because you're obviously so close. Yeah. Do you know what? It's been so hard. I just remember, like, speaking to a friendly other day, I was like, oh my gosh, can you believe it is October and I've seen my mom twice this year.

Like, it just, yeah, it freaked me out. But do you know what? We speak all the time on the phone, we speak on Zoom. I'm so proud of how well she's adapted to social media and technology. And it's brilliant. It's brilliant. You know, she sends WhatsApp videos and chats into the group. And yeah, it's fine.

I feel like we have, again, we found a new way to communicate. and I thought, oh, my mum and dad won't be able to get a grasp of all of this, but actually they really have. My mum knew how to use Zoom before me. I think it's interesting when I'm exactly the same. I haven't seen my mum since February. She's been shielding. But it doesn't feel like I've not seen her in that long because she FaceTimes me twice a day every day.

She calls me just to ask me what I'm doing. And I'm like, I'm working. I'm still working. But it is a nice way to feel connected when we can't be physically close, I guess, which is such a big thing. Yeah, absolutely. What's your routine been like? Because obviously it's changed. You were in lockdown and now you're filming and it's all very different.

How has your routine changed recently? Well, the routine has, it's interesting because I tried to keep as much of my routine in my life as possible. Even right from the beginning of lockdown, I thought that is the thing that's actually going to keep me. same. So I made sure that, you know, when I woke up and did my workouts, that actually I was maybe not doing as long as a workout as I would do normally. Like usually I'd say, I'd do like three, you know, one, one and a half hour workouts a week. That would keep me in shape and keep me stimulated and boosted. But then at the beginning of lockdown, I thought, actually, I need to really use fitness to punctuate the day.

And so I was doing little and often, you know, like going out for a 20 minute run and skipping for 10 minutes and then, you know, being fit enough to do that again the next day instead of like aching. I made sure that I was always putting on my makeup. Again, I used that to punctuate the day and feel like I'm doing something.

And cooking nice meals and things like that. You know, I just had more time. to really, you know, relax, I guess, and being tuned with what was going on around me. And now, whilst, you know, my timetable is now jam-packed again, I knew this would happen and so in a way I kind of prepared myself for it. That's what the months in isolation by myself have taught me that when you do go back into the world and start working,

again, how are you going to counterbalance that with relaxing and taking time to rest and actually recover? So that has been the biggest change in my routine, giving myself time to stand still. Do you feel like you've developed a mental resilience during this time or an adaptability and openness to change? Absolutely. I think, you know, I think anyone could be overwhelmed with everything that has gone on. I mean, wow, what a few months we have had. And I feel so proud that people have made it through this period up until this point a lot, because it is quite a feat.

And I think actually one thing that does boost my confidence personally is that, ability to adapt and change and be completely independent and also be around people to be able to figure out new ways to be creative alone. You know, the art of being alone really is an art in itself. And I do think I've found new layers of resilience with everything that's gone on. And how do you counterbalance being alone? Are you regularly calling your friends? at the WhatsApp group chat.

How are you reaching out to people? Well, at first, I was totally doing that. So WhatsApp, phone calls, of course, FaceTime, Zoom. I did house party for a little bit. I literally was on Google, Hangout. I was on all of the apps. And then I thought, actually, this is overwhelming as well. And I thought, this time is ours for the healing.

like we need to be learning stuff from this. So I think whilst it is really brilliant to talk and communicate, it's also a really good opportunity to listen. It's not always about doing and connecting. Sometimes it's about genuinely connecting with yourself and how are you in silence when no one's on the phone? And it was all of those skills that we've all learned through life, but we've got so dependable on people that maybe the skills that have become a bit rusty for some of us.

I don't know. They certainly have become for me. I think there's a certain confidence in being alone, though, feeling confident and comfortable enough to sit with yourself and rest and heal, that sometimes when life is so busy, that it can be the first thing to go. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. But I just, again, you just learn to say no more. I think if anything, it's empowered me to be more assertive with the decisions that I do make

and be confident that the decision that I have made to speak to someone or go out or not go out as has come from me and it can be good reason and very solid purpose. So I think I've got a new sense of self and yeah, luckily, yeah, I feel stronger. I feel much stronger mentally. That's an incredible way to feel as well when you're in your own power and you're making the decisions from that place of knowing you are the boss and this is what is happening.

Yeah, absolutely. I think, again, you know, work aside because I think for everyone on a financial point of view, that's a real big stress. And then, of course, the health implications, that's a huge stress as well. And I think if you're really lucky and fortunate enough to basically go, oh wow, like my mom and dad are still all right, like my nieces

and nephews are all good. Then actually, what you need to do is just keep yourself saying, keep yourself stable, and then everyone else will continue to be all right because really everyone's just worrying about the other person. And it was really, it's been really good to actually figure out new ways to be by myself, new ways to be alone. And I really hope that I hold on to it because, like I said, as soon as work kicks in again, there's so many things that go. Like, I've already started cooking less, for example. I had a takeaway last night and I was like, no, I've got to keep cooking.

I think it's when life starts to get busy again. Some things just start to go by the wayside. For me, it's sleep. sleep is the first thing to go, oh, I can't get eight hours, I'll get five. That's fine. It's not fine. It's never fine. This confidence say that you mentioned, I read in your interview that you did with us that

you haven't always been a confident person. It's something that you've grown into and developed and nurtured. When did you start to notice the shift that you were feeling more powerful and stronger and more okay with who you were and presenting it to the world? It's interesting actually because I think as a child I grew up with, my mum and dad, my mum who is hugely confident and is all, and has always had a really strong sense of self and a strong identity. And then my five brothers and two sisters. And at home, I always felt confident. That was always a space that I could show off, sing, dance, do whatever

I wanted. And that was genuinely my safe space. And then the lack of confidence actually comes from when you go out into the big wide world and everyone else puts seeds of doubt into your mind. You know, if you say, I'm going to be a TV presenter one day and they go, really? No, you can't do that.

You know, that is the outside voices that then get into your head. And I felt, you know, almost at my least confident in some respects, you know, around the age of, like my early 20s, basically. I'd lost a job. Me and my boyfriend had broke up financially. I was just at what bottom.

There was a lot going wrong, I felt. But as soon as I started to figure out that ultimately, me, in my head space, in my little family bubble, I'm a confident woman. And that is the thing that I need to constantly project. When I've got those moments of self-down. out really. I use affirmations a lot to help me figure things out sometimes and realign me. It snaps me back into action. And yeah, I guess there's no one particular point in my life that I've

thought, oh my gosh, like I'm really confident or I'm really not confident, but I've always been really in tune with how I'm feeling at that time. I'm really honest with how I'm feeling. And your affirmations, are they something that you would do every day? Is it when you need a bit of a boost or before you go on camera? What's your kind of hack to get that self-confidence going? For me personally, affirmations are so powerful. I really believe that your words have so much power and the speaking things into existence, I think is a brilliant tool. But I think a lot of people say it as a throwaway comment and they don't really reinforce. you can't actually just speak something to existence. You've got to reinforce it. You've got to believe it. You've got to drive those words through.

And I think if you can talk yourself down, which we all can talk ourselves down, we can all say, I'm not good enough, or, you know, I don't look right for this or whatever. We can all be very negative to ourselves. Then you can also talk yourself up. And it's the moment's right before camera, or if I'm in a new situation where I think, oh my gosh, I'm being too loud.

Does this person like me? That is when I say, right, come on. You're brave enough to be you or believe you've absolutely got this. Whatever it is at that time, I always find words to encourage myself. And you wrote that blinder of an article for Vogue about your experience of racism and discrimination, but also what you want to happen and the questions we need to be asking. And full disclosure, I read the paragraph about being mixed race and just cried my eyes out because I thought, oh, she's speaking to us. It was just incredible. Did you feel that self-confidence

that this was the message you needed to project that needed to be heard at that time? Yes. And no, you know, it's brilliant. The article has been brilliantly received. And I'm I'm so happy that you read it and felt connected to it in some respects. I'm really delighted about that. But if I'm being completely honest, that was an article that I actually wrote, almost for myself, as a form of self-therapy. I was going through a very traumatic time, as many people were across the globe. And I was overwhelmed with emotion. I didn't know why I was feeling the way that I felt.

I felt so triggered, but nothing that anybody did or said was making me feel better. And so I just put pen to paper and I thought, do you know what? That is what I personally need to hear right now. And particularly the paragraph with regards to mixed race people. I've got a lot of mixed race friends. You know, I've got 11 needs of nephews who are all mixed race. and I could see the conflict and the turmoil. And it was really, I was like, oh my gosh, like, you know, my seven-year-old niece is being affected by this.

She doesn't know what side to sit on. And it's, you know, it's troubling for everyone. I think at that time, I just thought, this is something that I need to do. And actually, with much deliberation, it was something that then I felt confident enough. to share. But I didn't feel confident to share it from the get-go. You know, I sat on that article for a good two, three weeks. I said nothing. And then, you know, all the time once I personally healed, I was like, right, let's get this out there because it was therapeutic for me personally, and hopefully it could be therapeutic. And what do you think was stopping

you initially from wanting to share it? Was it that you were feeling the emotional turmoil and you needed to heal first, like you said, or would you ever be worried that it would be taken by some people as off-brand to your very happy, loud, extroverted TV persona? You know, I do have a loud, sunny disposition and I don't show my vulnerable side very often. I don't say that I'm upset. I don't say that I have been triggered by trauma. I don't tell anyone that I've suffered racial abuse. I don't say these things because it's not a comfortable conversation for people to have.

But also for me, I thought, well, this will raise a lot of question, a lot of conversation. Am I ready to have those conversations on a personal level? Like, can I talk about it without always bursting into tears? And for some weeks, I actually couldn't. And so I thought, well, I only want to speak about this if I can speak about this, you know. I don't always want to turn it. into a blubbering wreck who then can't articulate herself properly, you know. And so it was a real process and it was a combination of the two public perception and my

own personal development. It's interesting as well because I found with my black family and also my black friends, there was almost a certain expectation that they were there to educate everyone else and what was going on. And it's like, how can you educate when you're going through trauma, when you're feeling traumatized and upset and emotional all the time. It's difficult to know. And also, you're not there to be a teacher. It's a very hard dynamic to play. How did you find having those conversations when you were ready to? To be honest, I had a lot of those conversations

when I wasn't ready to. So I was getting a lot of my white friends calling me saying, oh, what do I say? I want to do an Instagram. What do I say? And I thought, go away. I don't want to talk about this to you right now. Like, why am I the Oracle of information? Why am I suddenly, you know, the go-to race relations expert? Like, I have no idea what you should say, you should say, what you should say. And the same with black people as well. I was getting a lot of DMs on my Instagram, especially when George Floyd was so brutally

murdered that, oh, why aren't you saying anything about this? We are looking to you to speak. We need all the black presenters to speak. And I thought, oh my gosh, there's so much pressure and people really, yeah, look to you

all the time to have the right answers. And there's a lot of pressure in that. However, again, I'm really happy that I am confident enough in myself to be able to take a step back and go, no, I'm not going to be forced to say things that I'm not ready to say or speak on things that I'm not ready to speak on. I'm going to go away. I'm going to sort myself

out. I'm going to find my headspace, my standpoint, and then when I'm ready to talk about it, I will. And I think a lot of people really should try and get that in the confidence to really back themselves, back their decision-making, and back their own process. Your process is personal to you. So you can't speak about things when the world is ready to speak about it. If you're not ready, you need to be ready. Absolutely. And if you're not ready, it can feel, it feels like a violation. You're not ready to talk about it yet. You're not in that space where you can do it. But it takes mental resilience and mental toughness to say, I am not okay yet. When I'm okay, you'll know, because then I'll be talking about it.

Yeah, exactly. It really does. I mean, it just, yeah, it takes a lot of stubbornness, actually. And again, I think you've got to be very in tune with your own emotional capacity, really. You've got to be really honest with yourself. And again, a lot of people aren't sometimes. Sometimes I'm like, yeah, I'm absolutely fine. And inside I'm like knackered and exhausted or whatever.

You've just got to be honest and say, I'm tired, I'm happy, I'm sad. And again, these are things that we've always had, but we've somehow lost it. I always try and say to myself, be the five-year-old you, be the six-year-old you, the child within you is so honest because that's all you know. All you know is that I'm hurt, I'm sad, I'm tired, that's all you know what to communicate at that age. And then as we get older, things become a little bit more complex and we shut down. And it's like, no, we need to be like that six year old. He was like, ah, very actually, I think, very socially apt and hugely in tune with their emotional side.

And when you're honest with yourself, I find the emotion can pass through you much more quickly because you're not burying it under denying it or saying it's not there, I'm sad. It passes more quickly than when you say, I'm happy. And inside you're thinking, oh my God, I just want to going to the bathroom and crime eyes. Yeah, exactly. It's just, it's different. Yeah, it really is. But thank you goodness, I'm now feeling like, you know,

I'm personally in a place that I've made some positive changes in my life. I've dealt with traumas that I've clearly not dealt with in the past. I'm having conversations with course members of family and friends. Again, that I wouldn't have had, had, you know, had the world not stood still for as long as it did. And I am hopefully starting to see progressive change in terms of the workspace and media and long made that continue.

It can't be a moment. But I also know that it takes a long time to change society. It takes a long time to change the workspace and the mindsets of millions people across the globe. And so it is a process. that we are all part of, but at least the cogs feel like they are turning. I agree. And it's about visibility as well. It's about saying to people, this is who we're championing, this is who is beautiful, this is worth who's listening to because that's what all of

it is. It's about who we see regularly and who we see talking and who's allowed to talk, I think, are very important in changing people's perceptions. Yeah, absolutely. One thing I have to ask about is I know fitness has been an anchor for. for you and I think a physical anchor as much as a mental anchor, how does your exercise play into your mental health and your confidence and your resilience that you seem to just have an abundance? I think a huge part, actually.

It's the one thing that I feel like I've always got control of. My body, you know, right now, I'm in control of it. I can say like, no, you can't eat that. or yes, you can eat that, or get up and go off of a run, or get up and skip. You know, it's the one thing that I'm always in control of, and I think that is hugely empowering. I also think it's amazing, especially running. I personally love running.

It's that forward martian. It's that goal getting. It's really a good time to think and clear your head, but also to just feel strong. And those indoor things are a real thing. because even when I'm not necessarily motivated to run first thing in the morning, especially now that it's raining and dark, I always feel so proud and elated that I did that, you know, as soon as I've finished.

And it always helped punctuate the day and it always gives you at least one thing that you've picked off, that to-do list that you have achieved. And it's a really brilliant thing. out of such sad, dark times. And there's also like really brought me closer to friends as well because there's then a community of like-minded people that I've connected with and feel the same. And that is really empowering as well.

How much of your fitness routine is discipline and how much is motivation? Because one, you've got to engineer yourself and the other comes in fits and starts. Yeah. I would say I'm disciplined, but I'm also quite chill, to be totally honest. Like, you know, if I don't fancy a one, I don't fancy a run. If I don't want to get my hair wet in the rain, I'm not going to do it. There's a lot of, you know, reasons why I'm not motivated sometimes. But I am disciplined to keep in a routine because I know that a routine,

really works well for me personally. And so I would say I'm about 85% disciplined, which is a lot of discipline. It's a hell of a lot more than I've got. So you are absolutely fine. And I think lastly, what would your go-to workout be when you want to feel strong and motivated? I've seen you skipping on the gram, so I know you're doing a lot of different things. What would your go-to one be? My go-to one, if I want to feel strong and powerful, would at the moment be skipping, hit as well, and running.

Oh my gosh, so many. But basically, what I love about winning is you can put on a power playlist. And that run can be as light or as strong as you want it to be. And when I want to feel really powerful, I actually go off a really short run and do lots of sprints. And it just put on a banging playlist. And that really does get me moving. and I'm like, wow, look at what you can do in 10 minutes. That's amazing.

And I get the same feeling from skipping as well. Five minutes sorts out my whole body, sorts out my head space, sorts out my coordination. And I'm like, wow, again, look at what you can do in just five minutes. And then hit is, yeah, that is, I mean, it's an achievement because doing anything at high intensity for any amount of time is really of a massive part on the back. Absolutely.

And when you finish a hit session and you almost look around and you think, what just happened here? And you're almost disorientated. You're in spite. I was like, why did I do this to myself? Absolutely. But you feel so strong and that is just unbeatable. Absolutely unbeatable. And also, just with all of the TV wit that I've got going on, I'm quite often on set with a lot of people, a lot of big names, a lot of men.

A lot of people I don't know. a lot of reasons why I just wouldn't feel confident. And I think if you feel confident in your body, in your skin, then nothing really shaped you. You can always figure out how to get back to your centre point, your strong self. Absolutely. AJ, thank you so much for being on the pod. This has just been a dream.

And thank you so much. It's fantastic. Thank you so much for having me. go forth and be confident that was Morgan Fargo talking to AJ Adoodoo the broadcaster and presenter I really hope you enjoyed that episode

if you did remember that you can rate and review on Apple Podcasts and remember to subscribe wherever you get your podcast so that you never miss an episode if there's anything you'd like to comment on you can get in touch with us via the usual channels all the details are in the show notes and finally remember that if you have a health goal in mind that you want our experts help in achieving,

let us know and we'll get on it. Equally, if there's a celebrity you'd love to hear interviewed by one of our team, let us know and we'll see what we can do. We'll be back next week. Take care, everyone.