Just As Well, The Women's Health Podcast - Kate Ferdinand on Comparison Anxiety and Being Pregnant in A Pandemic

Episode Date: September 24, 2020

This week we’re talking blended families; couples workouts and feel-good habits with former reality TV star Kate Ferdinand. Now married to ex-pro footballer Rio Ferdinand, she’s an ultra loving step-mum to his three children, Lorenz, Tate and Tia - who truly won the hearts of many viewers after their documentary Rio and Kate: Becoming a Stepfamily aired on BBC One earlier this year. She’s also one of the many women going through the unique experience of being pregnant in a pandemic - with her little boy due later this year. In this episode she chats to Women's Health editor-in-chief Claire Sanderson about the unlikely ways pregnancy affects you - in body and mind; how she’s adapted her high-intensity workouts to slower, more mindful training and why, since she’s been pregnant, her and Rio have stopped bickering in the gym. She also shares the strategies she uses to avoid falling down an anxiety spiral and why authentic happiness - rather than perfection - is the goal she’s shooting for. Follow Kate Ferdinand on Instagram: @xkateferdinand Follow Claire Sanderson on Instagram:  @clairesanderson Follow Women’s Health on Instagram:  @womenshealthuk Topics:  Kate Ferdinand’s pregnancy fitness routine Managing mental health while pregnant Giving birth in a pandemic Raising a blended family with Rio Ferdinand How to deal with comparison anxiety on social media Like what you’re hearing? We'd love if you could rate and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, as it really helps other people find the show. Also, remember to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, so you’ll never miss an episode.  Got a goal in mind? Shoot us a message on Instagram putting ‘Going for Goal’ at the start of your message and our experts could be helping you achieve your health goal in an upcoming episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I'm senior editor on women's health and this is your weekly chance to plug in and be inspired to work on your health and wellness. This week we're talking blended families, couples workouts and feel-good habits with former reality TV star Kate Ferdinand. Now married to ex-pro footballer Rio Ferdinand, she's an ultra-loving step-mom to his three children,

Lorenz, Tate and Tia. And I think it's fair to say she truly won the hearts of so many viewers after their documentary, Rio and Kate, becoming a stepfamily, aired on BBC One earlier this year. She's also one of the women going through the unique experience of being pregnant in a pandemic with her little boy due later this year. In this episode, she chats to Women's Health's Editor-in-Chief Claire Sanderson about the unlikely ways pregnancy affects you in body and mind, how she's adapted her high intensity workouts to slower and more mindful training, and why, since she's been pregnant, her and Rio have stopped bickering in the gym. Kate also shares the strategies she uses to stop falling down an anxiety spiral

and why authentic happiness, rather than perfection, is the goal she's shooting for right now. Hello everyone, my name is Claire Sanderson and I am the editor-in-chief of Women's Health. welcome to our podcast going for goal and my guest this morning is none other than Kate Ferdinand. Hi Kate. How are you today? Hiya. I'm really good. Thank you. How are you? Yes, good. Good. Working from home for the six months, I think. So getting used to the weird world we live in. And how are you? Because I've just seen on Instagram that you're having a baby boy. That's really exciting. Yeah, we found out at the weekend we're having a baby boy. The kids were desperate. it to know. So really we've done the reveal for them. And it's exciting. I can start buying some

blue clothes now, some white and blue clothes. So you're going to have another smelly boy in the house. And I've got a little boy, so I say that with love in my heart. But yes, me and T are very outnumbered. It's going to be the fourth boy. And she can't believe it. I don't know if she looked like she was going to cry. She said, I've really wanted a girl. But yeah, another boy, more football boots, I suppose. I'm going to be at football matches for the rest of life, I think, at this rate. I just want to say that I think you are remarkable. And I say that at most respect, because in my research for this podcast interview, I have to say I've cried when I've read just what you've done for your three-step children and how you were really quite young

when you took on the responsibilities of becoming their step-mom and the challenges you face. And I really do think that you are a remarkable woman. Just tell us a bit how you're finding the experience in lockdown, actually, with having three young children and all the hormones of being pregnant. How have you found? How have you coached? Firstly, thank you so much. That's really nice of you. Lockdown has been an experience, to put it that way. Obviously, I was pregnant and the children didn't know, and it's something that I've struggled with is sort of being pregnant with my first biological child and still being a mum. So I felt like I had all of these new experiences that I didn't know what's going on, but I'm still like a stepmom or a mother figure to free kids.

So I struggled with that quite a lot. Being a teacher and a cleaner and everything was difficult. We're sort of through the other side now though. The kids went back to school on Monday. So there's time to just breathe. I think I sat on the sofa on Monday and there was just silence. Me and Rio just looked at each other and we went, there's no noise. and it just felt amazing. But yeah, it's been difficult. It's nice. I think the kids are happy to be back at school.

We're happy. It's nice as much as we all get along as a family. I think it can be overpowering to be in each other's company for six months. So they're enjoying the escape and so are we. And we come back together as a family unit for dinner and in the mornings. A bit more of a normal existence rather than, as you say, the very intense family life that we're going to be. We all had to endure, especially us, us mums in the beginning.

And did you do the whole homeschooling thing, which must be the challenge when you have children of different ages, so, you know, different learning capabilities? Yeah, we done that. And I did struggle with that quite. At the beginning, it was really difficult because the three children are all of different ages. They all need different types of help. You know, they learn things slightly different to how we learnt it when we were back

in school. So sometimes you're explaining stuff to them and you're just completely confusing the life out of them. And they're like, you're making it worse. I'm so sorry. But as it went on, to be fair, our school was really good and they had teachers sessions online. So they had a lot of support from school, which made it a lot easier for Rio and I. And I said to the teachers, please, can you just give me an example? If they've got a question they need to answer, can you give me an example? So at least I'm explaining it in the right way, rather than confusing the kids a million times more.

It was a learning curve for all of us, I think. You're so right there. I remember an occasion with my seven-year-old trying to teach him long division and drawing it out how I learned in school and I had to really delve into the depths of my brain to even remember how I did it. And he looked at me and just shook his head.

I was like, what are you doing? Well, that's it, Zach. That's it. And yeah, you're right. And I was confusing him more. And some of the terminology they use as well, especially in English. I don't know if you found. Some of the grammar, although, yeah, well, Tia would have been doing the same as Zach. Some of the grammar terms in English. I'm thinking, was I ever even taught grammar in school. I just, you know, it's just, they seem so much brighter than I ever was in school, I have to say. Yeah, I was on Google a lot. Let's put it that way. I was Googling. What is this? What is this? Because Tia or T. T. Lorenz would ask me a question. I think, God, I don't know the answer. So it's been funny, to be fair. So the first morning when you were getting them all off to school, how chaotic was that? I've never seen Tia jump out of bed so quickly. In our house, we have to leave early for the school, so we get up around 6.15.

And normally it's a struggle to get them all out of bed. I just went in her room and she literally jumped from the bed. She actually scared me. I went, oh, my God, are you okay? And she went, oh, she was so excited to see her friends. So Monday morning, it was different putting on the school uniform and it took a bit longer than normal. But they're all really excited to get back to school,

which is nice because normally they dread it. So it's a nice feeling they're all being excited. And did Tate go to high school? Or was you in the same school? He's in year eight now. They're all in the same school. It goes from primary all the way through. So he's gone into year eight and Lorenz is into year 10.

So they're all really growing up. It's scary. Oh, goodness me. Teenagers in the house. house. That would be a challenge. And then you've got your new little boy coming into the world as well. How have you found your pregnancy? Have you felt well or has they been ups and downs? I think the first three months I've really, really struggled. I'm normally really active and I run around like a lunatic, just doing everything constantly. And I just couldn't. And that's

something I couldn't get my head around. I couldn't get my head around being tired and not having the energy to go to the gym for the first three months I struggled. But as I'm in the second trimester, I feel a bit more normal, doing more active. I feel a bit more like myself, if that makes sense. But I've got a really bad back, which I've been struggling with a little bit. But apart from that, at the moment, I feel quite good, just a bit tired, a little bit tired, but that's it. So is your bad back a symptom of being pregnant or is that something that you struggled with before and it's been exasperated by. I've always had a bad back.

When I was like 13, I think, I fell off, we went to Lapland, and I fell off a schemer bill and really hurt my back. And I've always struggled with it, but being pregnant, it's just, you know, some days, I'm fine and I'm normal.

And then, for example, yesterday, I went to walk the dog, got to the park, done a lap round. I couldn't carry on walking. So to ring someone at home and say, I'm really sorry, can you come and get me? I just physically couldn't continue because my back was in so much.

pain and I had to get a lift home with the dog. The dog wasn't too impressed. But again, today I feel fine. So it's just different. You feel different on different days, I think. The thing is with back pain as well, and my husband suffers quite a lot. And it can really affect your mental health as well, can't it? Because it's so painful and you can't relieve it. Does it often get you down mentally as well as physically? Yeah, I think I struggle with my mental health anyway. I really like to be active and being active helps me on a day to day of my anxiety and things like that. So when I can't do things, I really struggle with it. And that's, like I said at the beginning, something that I just struggle with in pregnancy because I'm just used to doing everything. And

it's really a say to be, Kate, just sit down. You just need to sit down and relax. But I don't know why. I just feel guilty when I do. So yeah, it's difficult having back pain and not being out to do everything that you normally used to, especially when you've got three kids already and they're running around like lunatics. They've all got different football clubs. Dinner needs to be cooked. Washing needs to be done. Me sitting on the sofa up,

my mind is going crazy of all the jobs I need to be doing. Well, what you're just talking about there is mum guilt. You know, when you're a mum, you live this constant, oh, I'm not a good enough mother. I'm not a good enough wife. I'm not a good enough teacher recently, you know, homeschooling. And it sounds to me that that's what you're experiencing, that all of us moms go through.

Yeah, exactly that. I feel I didn't take tear to horse riding the other day because my back was so bad and I just felt terrible like it was just eating me up inside and I suppose I've got to learn to just try and not let it bother me as much as what it should you know like if I'm not feeling good it's not going to be good for anyone because I'll just be moaning so it's trying to manage that I think I think for me the thing that I'm most nervous about having a new baby is just that having enough time for everyone because I want to spread my time equally and be able to do

everything with everyone. I think that's what I'm most nervous about really. Absolutely. And I feel that as well. I only have two children, but you would never want to feel that you were favour in one or the other. But ultimately, we are only one person, you're a person, I'm a person. And actually what would benefit our families more is if we preserve our own well-being, because if you're feeling the best version of yourselves, then the family will be content to be around that. Very true. This is my mantra, but sometimes I forget it.

I need reminding, so you've just reminded me, and you are right, we can't pour from an empty cup, can we? Absolutely. There's been some research by Sport England about women and children exercising. and what it says is that one of the main reasons that women say they don't exercise is that they don't have time. And the reason for that is that we do put everyone before ourselves. So we will put the shopping, we'll put cooking tea, the school run, the everything else that we need to do.

And at the very end, we go, oh, what about me? And then we find that we feel there's not enough time in the day when really what we should do is put ourselves first. Yeah, it's true. Well, to be honest, with that one thing exercise, I try to find the time. I'd get up at 4 a.m. to go just because I know that I do feel better and I do suffer with anxiety sometimes, so it really does help. So that's one thing I'm quite good at trying to do. So how does your anxiety manifest itself?

I just comes from, I don't know, it's something that I've just suffered with for like my, from when I can remember really. And I can start over the most simplest thing, and it's just my mind playing tricks on me and it gets out of control. But I do find that if I, you know, exercise or go for a walk, it just, I seem to feel better for the day. Just fresh air. Yeah. There's so much research that says fresh hair is absolutely wonderful for your immune system, for your soul. And we don't get enough of it as, you know, in the UK, in the summer we might get more.

but in the winter we all go indoors and then we wonder then why our mental health suffers when the days are shorter. It's so true. And I also think that sometimes it's just even if it's half an hour where you're not really thinking about anything apart from, God, I've got to lift this weight in a minute and I really can't be bothered. Whereas the rest of the time, my mind's ticking, thinking about all the million things I've got to do for the day. I'm quite a warrior and I'm very organized and sometimes it takes over my mind. So just being in the gym focusing on holding the plank or whatever it is that I'm doing seems to just take my mind off of all of that. So what does training exercise look like for you? At the minute, it's very different

to what to what it used to be. I used to be a bit of a machine and I'd be training like six times a week doing a mixture of like weights and cardio. At the moment, I've found that when I do weights, it's really aggravated my back. So I've been doing Pilates for probably most of my pregnancy on the reformer and some mat palates as well. And they're only half an hour sessions. And I probably do them like three times a week. But if I'm feeling having a bad day, I won't do it. That's something that I've learned through pregnancy. If I feel really awful and then I do it, it just wipes me out for the whole day. Whereas prior to pregnancy, I would just do it and just do it. force myself to do it because I'd feel better. It's now like I do listen to my body and if I

need to rest I do. And Pilates just seems to be, it helps my back as well as keeps me moving. So the reason why, I'm sure an expert has told you this, but maybe one of the reasons why your back is being more compromised is that you lose core control while you're pregnant because I'm assuming you would have an amazing core strength when you're not pregnant if you train six times a week. I'd like to think. I think I did. I think I did. Yeah, but it is, you're just off balance as well, I think. Yeah. You're completely off balance. I mean, it's funny because you walk up the stairs and you're out of breath and I said, I don't know what's going on. You're just getting used to having a human growing inside you,

I suppose, isn't it? Well, true story about me. I've had two car crashes in my whole life. Both have been when I was pregnant, one with the first pregnancy, one with the second, and I will insist that the reason I crashed is because when you're pregnant, your spatial awareness goes a bit as well. You're sort of you're off balance, so you bump into things more easily. I'm convinced something goes on to women when they're pregnant that makes them more clumsy and more prone to that type of accidents.

I am, my mum calls me calamity, Kate. I am calamity anyway. I'm known for breaking bones. I've always seemed to have an injury, and I always walk in stuff. I've always got bruises on me. But since being pregnant, and also since wearing a mask,

so being pregnant and being in a shop and wearing a mask as well, I just am all over the place. I keep knocking things over in the shopping, in the like Sainsbury's. It's just so embarrassing. I think it's a mixture of the pregnancy and the mask. I just have got no awareness of my surroundings. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I hear you, 100%.

So you mentioned that you're doing Pilates now. Does that give you the same buzz as the kind of cardio and lifting weights did pre-pregnance? Pilates, I found a lot mentally harder for me. It looks easier, I would say, but I find it just so much harder because with the weight, you sort of do your reps, 10 reps or whatever it is you're doing, and I just chuck them on the floor. There's a bit of anger in me.

Pilates is very like about the breathing and you've got to hold everything for much longer. So I find it more difficult, but I do feel good after I've done it. Yeah. But then prior to your pregnancy, I know from looking at your Instagram, that you and Rio have an amazing home gym. So is that when you would do your workouts together? In fact, I watched some of your lockdown Ferdinand Fitness workouts on YouTube, lots of fun.

So you and Rio normally would work out together then in your home gym? Yeah, we're very lucky. We've got a lovely gym. And normally, I mean, if he's here, we would normally have a workout together, yeah. But at the moment, that's gone out the window. I'm a bit competitive and I get a bit jealous when he's doing a really good workout. and I'm struggling to even do a squat.

So at the moment we're having separate workouts. But I'm sure once the baby's out, we'll be back doing the workouts together again. But he is a former professional athlete. He reminds me of that often. Let me tell you. I don't know why I'm just a bit competitive. I think it's good competition.

He pushes me to do better, if you know what I mean? So does he train you? Does he put you through a program? Or is it or you just sort of training? together. We just train together. We have most rows. We don't row. We row out only in the gym. Because if we go, say, on a holiday and we both are going to do a workout together, we both think we know best, and we both think we know the workout that we're going to do today. And we just bicker in the gym. It's so funny. It's the only real place we really do bicker. Give me an example

of something you would bicker over then. Is it the form? It's just pathetic. Seriously, he might say, well we'll do this today and I'll be like well no I thought we were doing this and this would go better with this and it just is I don't know we're just probably bicker about what exercises we're doing both get annoyed because we both think we know what's the best exercise to do do do you think you carry on with the Ferdinand fitness videos was that very much something that you just did in lockdown I mean we sort of launched it we launched it because of lockdown and you know we just thought it'd be fun and it it sort of felt like we were connecting with people at a time when it was sad

and hard to, you know, felt hard to keep going through life. But then I fell pregnant. So it all sort of went funny. I did love doing it and Rio loved doing it as well. But at the moment it's just not something that we can continue because I just can't keep up at all. And Rio's work schedule is really busy. But I think we both are really into our fitness.

So it's definitely a route we'll be looking to do stuff in. We love it. It's part of our life, really. the gym and the kids. The kids love their exercise. They play football and horse ride and all these activities. We're quite a active family. Yeah.

I was just about to say that. I know Lorenz was behind the camera for the videos that you did. But it's such a great example to show to young children because children look up to their parents and they want to be like them. So if they see you exercising, then they too hopefully will lead a very active life

that they can take into adulthood. Yeah, I think to be honest, the kids are quite, they like it, they're really into their football, they like the dad, the boys, so they love exercising anyway. And just think it sort of brings us together as a family, even, you know, walking the dog or doing small things together, it brings you together. Like before I met Rio and the kids, they would never walk. And now we've got a dog, I mean, I brought my dog Ronnie. It's just something that we all enjoy doing. It's just exercise, but family time. You can mix the two together.

Because you've said on the documentary that heartbreakingly beautiful documentary that you and Rio did, that you just want the children to be happy and can I just say your relationship with them is so beautiful. And God forbid if anything was to happen to me, I really hope there's a Kate there to scoop my children up.

But what family rituals do you put in place for the children to be happy? Is it exercise or do you have any other rituals? I think just we like to exercise. I wouldn't say that's a ritual. I do think it's good for us. Family time is really important, I think. I think sometimes we can all get caught up in like working and schedules

and after school clubs and just having that family time together is really important. And we really communicate. So just being open with communication and we tell each other when we're sad, we tell each other when someone's upset us. So we all know where we're at and we can be sensitive to each other. I think they're really big things. It's really quite amazing that you have this emotional intelligence when it comes to parenting, when you were, you know, you weren't with these children from when they were such a, when they

were toddlers and babies. And it's really, it's remarkable. I know I've used that word already, but it is remarkable that you seem so natural at parenting, three children who have been through so much. and if you can just talk to me a bit about how you and Rio have found your way to creating this wonderful happy home for the children. You've mentioned that you've been in therapy, for instance, with Rio. I mean, when you say it like that, and I think, God, you're looking after three children, I think back and I do think it is mad how we've ended up here.

But I think, and it's been hard, it's been a really difficult journey. You know, the children, Rio and the children have been through a lot. They've lost their mum and their nan. So they've been through a lot of heartache. I don't, I think it's just, I just love them. I know it sounds really cliche. I just want what's best for them. And I just want everyone, all of us to be happy.

So we just based everything around that. And discipline. I think children act really, they don't like being told off, or they don't like it when it's strict. But actually to have some form of structure, their life was always very structured when their mum was here. And they lost that for a while. So just to have that structure and that love back in place, they feel safe and secure.

And that's what kids need. They just need structure, don't they? They need to feel secure. They need to have a safe home where they can flourish. And all the material things in the world, and nowhere near as important is just love and structure and stability for happy children who will thrive. Yeah, like you said, it's a safe environment for them to come and they can be themselves. boundaries and you know you've got a you can't be crazy i think that everyone's happy knowing where they're at does that make any sense how i've just said that yeah yeah yeah absolutely and and you and you do have happy children and it's it's wonderful that you're now bringing another child into the family and and everyone's really excited and there's there's no there's no jealousy

and it's just a a wonderful breathing new life into the family home i think think, you know, that was, we're just, sometimes we sit here and we say, we're just so lucky that the kids are this excited. Like, we, we could be in a position where they weren't happy, they were dreading us, having a baby, but they're so excited. It's just so special. Like, even at the weekend when we done the gender feel, and they were just so happy, they were screaming, and it just feels really special. But I do think I've lost my mind, though. I've got to have four kids, three dogs. and I just don't really know what it's just all going to be a bit crazy, I think, but hey-ho. Yeah, but I'm three dogs as well. Yeah.

You really are superwoman. Oh, God, a crazy woman, maybe. I'm going to go back and talk a bit about your mental health, and you've spoken that you suffer with anxiety. Has that got worse during your pregnancy? I feel like I've been a bit emotional. I feel a little bit, I'm not sure if it's, it's hard because I don't think it's got worse. I think I'm always managing it.

If that makes sense, it might have peaks and it might go down a little bit. So it's probably the same, but I am quite emotional. I feel a little bit insecure, if I'm being honest with you. I feel like not like me and I struggle with that for a little while. I think I'm getting my head around it now, but I feel insecure with like just how I look a little bit and my changing body. And even, I know it sounds very, like, superficial, but even I don't know how to dress for this.

You know, like, I just feel like I've lost everything that I always sort of knew, you know your body, you know how to dress, you know, it's all sort of changed. So everything that you know has changed. And I did struggle with that a little bit at the beginning, to be honest. And how has Rio supported you through this period? He's so supportive with everything and he thinks I'm crazy for being insecure or not feeling good.

but I think that's just my own insecurities. I couldn't fault him. He's, you know, if I'm tired, he cooks the dinner. He helps me with absolutely everything. So I know it sounds a bit soppy, but I couldn't really ask for anything more from him. It's just my own issues, I think. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's very, I'm somebody who suffers with depression and anxiety, and it's quite hard to explain. In fact, it's impossible to explain to someone who doesn't understand, you know, because any concerns that you may have to other people may seem ridiculous or superficial, but when you're going through them, they're very real to you. They're really maximised, aren't they?

And you say it out loud and it does sound very silly sometimes. I mean, even down to, you know, just like looking at other pregnant ladies on social media, I think, like I put up an Instagram post when I was first pregnant because I would look at everyone in their cradling their bamps. They would look so happy. Like they're just, and I'm thinking, I am struggling over here. I'm tired. I'm struggling to cook.

I'm struggling to manage the kids. I'm just exhausted. And I found that sometimes looking on social media can sometimes make it worse because everything looks perfect from the outside. And I really just want to try and not be that person and just try and be open and honest so that people have got someone to relate to. Yeah. Well, you just hit the nail on the head about social media.

It's a very curated look at everyone's perfect life, but no one's life is perfect. And, you know, everyone, many people I would say, I should ask you to say, when they're taking pictures, they take 50 and choose one to put up, you know. But that comparison can definitely negatively impact your mental health, 100%. Sarah Vora, who's an NHS psychiatrist who works a lot with woman's health. One of her tips is in the morning, do not look at social media for the first couple of hours of the day, because if you do, it sets you into a negative pattern for the rest of the day, a negative thinking pattern of comparing yourselves and thinking negatively about yourself.

So that's something I try to do, not to go on Instagram first thing, you know, and only go on when I've had a coffee and breakfast and I'm in a better frame of mind generally. It's crazy that this is our life, isn't it? that we just automatically pick up the phone and we just are looking at other people or we can just so easily get onto social media. I think sometimes you just do it without even thinking. You just go on your phone and sometimes I find myself looking but I'm not even looking. I'm just scrolling and I have to actually say, no, no, right, I'm going to put the phone down

and go and do something because you can just get caught up in it, I think sometimes. Especially with the children at dinner time, we say, right, phones in the middle. Because otherwise, before you know it, you're all just on your phones or picking up a phone call and you're losing that quality time. Even when you're watching Netflix in the evening, my husband's terrible for it. We've sat there watching some really quite complicated drama that he can't follow at the best of times anyway,

and I find myself explaining to him what's happening. But then he'll just be on his phone. And it's like, why are you not engaging with watching a drama with your wife? You know, what is so important on your phone? And like you say, it's almost, it's involuntary almost. It's just this instinct that we just pick up our phone with this next to us. I'm exactly the same as you, and I must drive Rio mad. I go, are you watching? Are you watching? Did you see that? Did you see that?

I don't think you just saw that. And he's just like, I am watching the program. But yeah, you just, like you said, you just don't even know you're doing it sometimes. That's how crazy it's got. And it must be even more difficult for you because you are a public figure and you do have a very large following. And you have discussed in the past how you've been trolled for, being quote fat and ugly. How did you deal with that? Probably at the time not too well. I think I do now. I'm still not great at it, but I try to say that social media or other people's opinions. That is not me. Not everyone knows me and knows what I do day to day. And I do try

to have a break. Like I just stay off it for quite a bit of my pregnancy. I don't even think I went on social media. I just found that I couldn't keep up with the kids, the holidays and everything. and social media just wasn't a priority. And when I'm not on it, I do feel happier. Like sometimes I think it has, sometimes it's so positive and you can connect with people and share stories and it can make you feel so much better. But I think if you're not in the right mindset,

it can just be a really negative place. So I think I just learn to sort of manage it and realize that if I have 10 days off social media, does it matter? It doesn't matter. Because everyone that I know and love, knows I'm okay. It's just knowing when to have a break for me and not actually listening to everyone's opinions. I mean, people write some crazy stuff

on there and sometimes you can get caught up in reading it all. I for one will never read the comments on, for example, like the websites like the Daily Mail or anything like that because I just used to get caught up in reading them and it would make me upset and I just won't do it now. But the comments on the mail online are hilariously negative aren't they? It's out of control. Oh, unbelievable. Unbelievable. There was an article about me on there.

A couple of years ago, I did something for women's health and the comments about my appearance, like 39 and the rest. I have 30, well, not now, I'm 42, but oh God, you know, but it was, and it was even worse. She looks like she's had a hard life and all this. And I thought, goodness me, these people have got no idea who I am when they're commenting. So I can only imagine the next. negativity that must be leveled at someone like yourselves. And a lot of it's born out of jealousy,

by the way, and boredom, isn't it? It's keyboard warriors at all we've got nothing better to do. Yeah, I don't know. They must be so bored, but it did use to get me down. If you're sort of insecure about a certain thing, like I used to be, I've got really like quite short legs, and they're not my favourite part of my body, and they used to really hate them. And people would put them out all the time, and it would make me feel really like even more insecure about I just decided that I don't need to read this rubbish, so I just don't read it. And sometimes I see my friends, they go, oh my God, did you see what they wrote on the day? I'll go, no, no, no, don't want to hear it.

And I said, and please can you not read it? I tell my friends not to read them. I said, because I don't like you reading it because it annoys everyone. And these people, we don't even know who they are. And they're stressing us out. So, yeah, try just not to engage with such negativity all the time, I think. It's really important. Yeah.

Yeah, it's complete nonsense. So you're absolutely right. So how much longer do you have to go now before your little boy comes into the world? Do you have a few months left, three or four months left? Yeah, I'm in my third trial. No, that was a complete lie. I'm in my second trimester. The baby's due around December time.

Right. So it's going to be a Christmas baby then. Yeah. As I have friends who are pregnant and they say that the whole pregnancy experience with COVID has been different. the scans and stuff, their husbands hasn't been allowed in with them for the checkups. Have you found that?

Yeah, I think obviously we'd really like to take the kids and do things like that of them. So it's been a bit of a different experience to what you imagine it to be. But, you know, I just think we're just lucky that we've got a healthy baby. So I'm trying not to focus on all of that and just record the scans for the kids and they can, we all watch it when we get home

and put it on the TV and things like that. So, yeah, but I have seen a lot of things on social media about, you know, husband's not been allowed in for the birth, which seems crazy when people are down the pub. But, hey, ho. Yeah. A lot of the discrepancies in what the COVID approach, but we leave it here. Yeah, let's not get into that. And it sounds like Rio has been so supportive and so hands-on.

and it must be frustrating that he maybe can't be as involved as he would have been if the COVID wasn't happening. Yeah, he's been really good, really good. I'm singing these praises here. Have you been sending him out to get ice cream at 11 o'clock or something? I've had no gravings. I've had none. Well, actually, I'm going to look, at the beginning,

I really just had a jacket potato every day. I've got to be honest with you. And I never really eat potatoes. I'd maybe eat a rose potato on a weekend. and I just fancied one every day. But after that, I haven't really, I haven't really had many cravings. I don't know, I haven't had any.

I don't know if they're going to come or, no. Well, you might get them when you give birth. And that, this is a true, true phenomenon apparently, but I had it as well. As soon as I gave birth, I became obsessed with rich tea biscuits. And I would literally have to send my husband to the garage at 11 o'clock at night

because he was going to work the next day. And I was like, oh, I have to have my rich tea biscuits for the morning. You never know. They might come later. Yeah. So Kate, the name of this podcast is going for goal. So can you tell me what are your goals or singular goal that you have for the remainder of this year and next year when you become a mum? That's a hard one.

I feel like they change often. I had loads of goals at the beginning of 2020 and it all just seemed to change. But really, I know this sounds soppy again. just to be happy and content and try not to get too stressed over things that aren't important. Find that I spend a lot of my time worrying about unnecessary things. So just to try and be more present and not so worried all the time about unnecessary things, that's like my main goal. From one mum to another, I really do think you are Wonder Woman.

So I know it's hard, you know, impossible for me to say to you, you don't need to worry because you are smashing it from what I can see, from everything I've read about you and looking at your Instagram. You truly are incredible. And thank you so much for joining me today on going for goal. And good luck with your birth in December. And I hope you have a wonderful Christmas as a family and a mum of four while you're going on the left. Wow, that sounds scary, doesn't it?

But thank you so much. Thank you so much. It's been a lovely chat. Okay, take care. Thanks, Kate. Thanks. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Oh, what a lovely sounding woman. All the best to Kate for the rest of her pregnancy, and it certainly sounds like that little one is going to grow up surrounded by love. As ever, we welcome all your comments, reviews and questions. So get in touch with us. Our Instagram handle and email are both in the show notes. And if you have a health goal, you'd like us to tackle in an upcoming episode or a celebrity,

you'd love for us to interview about the health and happiness habits. You can drop us an email or a DM about that too. We'll be back next week with more inspiration and know-how for working towards your health, fitness and wellness goals. Catch you then.