Just As Well, The Women's Health Podcast - Mission Confidence: Callie Thorpe on Owning Her Body in Summer + Self-Care Staples

Episode Date: May 6, 2021

Welcome to Mission Confidence, a special edition of the Going For Goal podcast sponsored by Philips, designed to help you on your body confidence journey. This podcast has been created as part of our Project Body Love initiative, which is all about challenging the way we think, feel and speak about our bodies, embracing what makes us unique and putting an end to negative self-talk and embarrassment. Philips believe that hair removal should be a choice, and that it looks different for everyone. If you do choose to remove your body hair - whether you prefer to take it all off or to tackle your legs, armpits or bikini line only - Philips has a range of hair removal tools to suit your needs. On Mission Confidence, over four episodes and with the help of some very wise women, we’re going to be exploring confidence in its various facets and forms – with the goal of helping you tap into yours. Today we’re exploring the topic of body confidence in summer with Callie Thorpe. And confidence? It’s kind of her thing. As founder of The Confidence Corner, she speaks to hundreds of thousands of women spreading kindness, celebrating the beauty of different body types and sharing the message that in life, you make your own rules. Today she shares how far she’s come from being the insecure teenager who was so ashamed of her body that she covered up in knitwear on the beach; why her confidence journey is ongoing; the reason she loves having silky smooth legs – and how using the Philips Lumea IPL device is helping her get there. At home – and faff-free. Join Callie on Instagram: @CallieThorpe Join Roisín on Instagram: @roisin.dervishokane   If you enjoyed the episode, sign up for the Project Body Love event, in association with Philips, which is taking place online on the 15 & 16 May. Sessions are free to attend. Register now to reserve your place and receive the full two-day schedule here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to Mission Confidence, a special edition of the Going for Goal podcast sponsored by Phillips that's designed to help you on your body confidence journey. This podcast has been created as part of our Project Body Love Initiative, which is all about challenging the way we think, feel and speak about our bodies, embracing what makes us unique and putting an end to negative self-talk and embarrassment. Phillips believe that hair removal should be a choice and that it looks different for everyone. If you do choose to remove your body hair, whether you prefer to take it all off, to tackle your legs, armpits or bikini line only,

Phillips has a range of hair removal tools to suit your needs. Over four episodes, with the help of some very wise women, we're going to be exploring confidence in its various facets and forms, with the goal of helping you tap into yours. On this episode of Mission Confidence, we're exploring the topic of body confidence in summer. My guest today is Callie Thorpe, and Confidence? Well, it's kind of her thing. As founder of the Confidence Corner,

she speaks to hundreds of thousands of women spreading kindness, celebrating the beauty of different body types and sharing the message that in life, you make your own rules. Today she shares how far she's come since being the insecure teenager who is so ashamed of her body that she covered up in knitwear on the beach, why her confidence journey is ongoing, the reason she loves having silky smooth legs, and how the Phillips Lumaya IPL device is helping her get there, at home and faf free. Callie Thorpe, welcome to Mission Confidence in association with Phillips.

Thank you so much for having me. I'm very excited. So, so good to have you on. How are you doing today? I'm good. I've had a bit of a hectic week. I have been launching something I've been working on for a long time, which is actually to do with confidence as well, which is my membership, 4 Plus has women called The Confidence Corner. So it's just been a bit hectic, but I'm feeling really fulfilled and happy. And then, you know, when I'm busy, I feel like I'm thriving. So it's all good. doing what you love, right? Exactly. If you could summarize what confidence means to you, to you now, I'd love to know that. And then I'd also love to know how you, you reach that point, that you're an ambassador for confidence, you're someone who people look to as being like a real leader in this space. But what was the journey like to you getting there? I think, obviously, my own journey to confidence was very interesting, and I always like to phrase it as sort of a journey because I do kind of feel like, it's not something you just wake up with.

But it's definitely been a journey and my passion for it and in creating this space and having this conversation is really not to say here is high to be confident, but more can we all just agree that we're all going through it and this isn't easy and it doesn't really matter if you're not confident every single day of your lives. Like it's, you know, confidence is a doing action. It's something that you choose to do.

You choose to show up a way that you want to show up and you don't have to be an extrovert to do that. You don't have to be laid to do that. You could just be exactly who you are and be confident in whatever way that feels like to you. Now, what I loved there was when you were talking about the importance of thinking of, you know, this journey to confidence, it's not linear. So I'm going to, but now I'm going to ask you, what was your turning point on this journey to confidence? And I know, or were there a few? And I understand that it's, it's an ever-evolving thing. But are there any, kind of moments that you look back on and they kind of really crystallized your approach.

One moment the sticks out is when I was looking for a swimsuit for holiday, a holiday that had booked with my then-boyfriend, now husband, and we were going away and I had been feeling really low about myself and I'd been on and off of diets and was really struggling. And I was looking for a swimsuit and I fell upon a blog, a friend of. of mine now who's called Gabby Greg and she's a really kind of world-renowned plus size writer and advocate online and I saw that she posted about her wearing a bikini and I'd never seen anyone who looked similar to my size in one and one moment that particularly that particularly changed me was that I decided to order a bikini like hers and for the first time in my adult life I wore a

two-piece swim set which I'd never ever ever. dreamed I could. And I posted it online to my private Facebook. And I was literally shaking because I thought, oh my God, I've all, you know, it's one thing to, you know, show up every day. But it's another thing to put a bikini on. And I realized that I had all these negative inner beliefs about what I couldn't, couldn't wear. And actually, when I did share it, everyone was like, oh, this is so great. And like, about time, like, that you should, why shouldn't you wear? this, like, you look great. And lots of other women responded saying, I also have been fearful about wearing swimwear. Some women write to me and say they don't even go to the beach or in

swimwear at all. So it was a big moment for me and taking that step and realizing on the other side of it, once I posted it into, you know, a public forum that it was fine. And I actually felt really good. I felt great that day on holiday. It's hard not to feel great when you're in Barbados. But that day particularly and posting it, you know, I realized that there were many people that were going through the same thing as me and we were all ashamed to talk about it and it kind of started that conversation then about, you know, why I wanted to challenge some of these ideals and that really was the spiking growth for me and how I could use my platform to keep having these conversations. Absolutely. And it's so interesting when you're talking there because the theme of

this discussion we're looking throughout this mini-series, we're looking at confidence and all its kind of different facets and forms. And what we're looking at today is specifically the, you know, confidence during the summer. And as you say there with bikini and swimwear and there's that, there's that phrase, isn't it, that was, it's been, you know, roundly cancelled now, but the idea of it that you get a summer body, and I'm using air quotes here, but you get a summer body and there is this supposed expectation of what that might look like. because obviously over the past years, that's become quite a loaded term. It is very loaded. And it suggests that in order to be summer ready,

so in order to be able to enjoy the beach and the heat and the pool and the probably amazing cocktails that I'm just fantasizing about, I'm just fantasizing about that your holiday in Barbados sounds so perfect. There's a sense that women need to be summer. So in order to be summer ready, women need to become, you know, slim and tight and taught and flawless. And how did that summer season, How did that use to affect your confidence?

Well, I think I, to, I think the reason why that, I mean, it's like exactly what you said. It's very loaded now. And I think it's kind of like generally understood now that that is complete nonsense and that, you know, whatever body you have is the summer body and doesn't matter. And I think, but to bring to, to answer your question, like how it used to be for me, I, I, it wasn't a good feeling. And I remember being in sixth form and going to the beach. of friends, like one afternoon on a really hot day. And it was absolutely scorcherino. And I sat on the beach in leggings and the cardigans. I couldn't bear the thought of sitting in shorts or sitting in a bikini whilst all my friends, you know, were going in the water and, you know, whatever else.

They, you know, just chilling out and feeling cool. And I would just sit there and sweat and feel boiling and so self-conscious because I just was so insecure about the way I looked. And I actually think that is so sad. And I look back and think I miss it on a lot of things because of those feelings. Especially at a time when, as you say, you're at school, that's when you know, there's that all the ideal that you should be able to be kind of like young and carefree and go mess around and the fact that those belief systems and those structures had made you feel so uncomfortable You were so uncomfortable in yourself that you had to almost make yourself uncomfortable.

I literally mean physically uncomfortable, as I said. Imagine it being 30 degrees or however hot and sitting in leggings and a cardigan. I mean, it's just, it was just so, yeah. And I just, and that's the thing. And I got very used to that uncomfortable feeling because I, and I, one thing I continue to do a lot through a lot of my life was try and make myself as small as possible, you know.

I didn't want to be seen in certain things. I didn't want to be seen eating in front of people. I didn't. There was lots of things that limited me from really being, you know, a fulfilled, happy person. I was always happy. I was always, you know, cheerful and, you know, the bubbly, what they term, along with you as the bubbly fat friend. And it was, but I was pushing down a lot of, you know, hurt feelings.

And I was pushing down a lot of insecurities. And I look back and I just think, I wish that someone had told me, that I don't owe anybody anything and that I can just be me and I don't have to change myself. I don't have to meet these requirements to be, to have a happy life. Absolutely. And that you should be able to enjoy the changing of the seasons. The fact that it got to nearly 30 degrees in the UK and summer, you should have been able to enjoy that. And yeah, it's really, it's really sad to hear you talk about that.

and kind of all the more amazing to think at the point at which you've got to now. And I want to know something that you are an advocate for and something that I personally find really interesting is this idea of body neutrality. Yes. So how has this fed into your ability now to kind of go easy on yourself and like enjoy the balmya weather without feeling like you're falling short of someone else's standards?

Exactly. Yes. So body neutrality is something that I've tried to adapt more into my, into the way I use my platform and the way I speak about myself and other people. Because, well, first of all, body positivity itself was a political movement and it's, and it's absolutely incredible. But it was, it was started by black women. It was started as a political movement. And I think a lot of it has been co-opted now. So the idea of moving towards neutrality is more, to me, more of a, I want to take up their space in that. in that community as well to ensure that the right people are getting their voices heard. But also neutrality to me is about not focusing on this idea of constant self-love. I do advocate for self-love. I think it's an incredibly powerful, wonderful way to tap into yourself and what you need. And I think loving yourself is absolutely amazing. But I don't always think that has to relate to your physical body. I think loving yourself, can mean everything but your body as well. And so neutrality to me is also about that addressing the points that, you know,

you can actually feel neutral about yourself. You can wake up one day and neither love yourself or hate yourself but just be. And I think if we, I almost hope that we all get to that point because to be honest with you, it can feel as stressful and as anxiety inducing to be told that you always must love yourself and that you're not quite positive enough. about yourself. It kind of leans into that, you know, toxic positivity vibe. And I think that's not helpful either. We can just, we can just be okay with just doing the very best we can, which is accepting that there will be times because of what we've been taught. I mean, these things are

literally taught to us from childhood. You know, the things that these kind of, the gender norms, we're taught everything. This is all inside of us. And so we're all going to continue to, one, look at ourselves at some days and not like what we see and we're exposed to a lot online and social media. You know, we're exposed to photoshopping, left, right and center, filters on every single app possible where, you know, it's hard to escape it. So it's understandable that people go back to that place where they are judging themselves and we should never judge people for that. I never ever judge people for feeling that way. Is it that so as well as you, so you shouldn't be tearing the way your body looks apart, but also it's about going easy on yourself.

Exactly. To say that even if you don't feel 100% positive and 100% celebratory all the time, that doesn't mean you're a rubbish person or that doesn't mean that you're kind of giving in to all these value systems that you're trying to divorce yourself. Oh yeah. And I think that's a hard one in a hard line to toe. I'm a feminist and so, you know, obviously I have lots of strong views about certain things. But then I also feel guilty sometimes.

when I say, you know, that I do like to wear makeup. I do like to feel good. And, you know, I also don't, I try and not judge people. And I try and give empathy and understanding to people that choose to want to change their bodies or choose to want to, or even with the comes down to filters, people who choose to use filters. It's not, it's not an attack against me that someone else feels that way. It's not an attack against anybody who's being an advocate and speaking out against this. what we need to reflect that on is the societal beauty standards that are put on us that we're seeing

and that's why we're seeing a push back against it. You sound like you have just such a sensible and doable and really inspiring approach. So thank you so much for sharing that with us. And as we're saying, it's never evolving journey. Yes. But I am very intrigued as to what's kind of in your confidence kit right now. So I'm thinking rituals, habits, routine. anything you're reading, anything you follow on Instagram,

what kind of things that you do help you to feel like the best version of yourself? I mean, there's lots of things. I think I always talk about it. It feels like I'm sort of saying a lot of the things I've been saying to my entire confidence community lately because I've literally just, you know, actually did a five-day self-love challenge where we covered a lot of these subjects. And one of the pillars were self-care. I believe there's two types of self-care.

care. There's the critical daily I must take care of myself basic human needs self-care. And then there's the lovely nice self-care, which is the bubble baths, the masks, the light a candle, the this, the that. So I'll start off by saying the critical self-care, which is something I have not entirely been giving myself this week because it's been very hectic. But my critical self-care I like ensuring that you're getting a good night's sleep, ensuring that you're eating meals, drinking your water, getting out for some fresh air, you know, going, going for a move in your body if you can, even if that's some gentle stretching. It's ensuring that you are tapping into your own individual needs. Before you start thinking about doing the nice things,

those basic things have to be done. And I often think all of us, because we live in such a busy, hectic lifestyle that we really do forget to do some of them. This week alone, I've been staying up from, I've been getting up at eight and I've been going bed half one, quarter to two, just because I've had so much to do and there hasn't enough time. And I have started in the last two days getting a tension headache. And I know it's because I'm feeling tense. I'm not sleeping enough. And last night I was like, I have to go to bed early. And I got into bed at quarter to 10. I switched my phone off. And I was like, I will deal with what I have to deal with tomorrow. It has to wait because I won't be able to show up as myself and give back.

everybody in the way I want to if I don't do this. So, you know, it's important. And then on to the nice bit, which is like I call the lovely, Jubbly Self-Care, which I just absolutely can't get enough of. That to me looks like, you know, having an intentionally nice day, that is like, I did it for my birthday actually recently where I was like, I'm going to have a nice weekend and I'm going to order my favourite takeaway and I'm going to cook a meal, I made myself a playlist. and I was like, it's going to be lovely and I'm going to really enjoy it. And I think when you're intentional with your time and you're like, right, on Friday, I'm going to have a night where I run a bath and I put a podcast on and I pull myself a glass of

something, wine or non-alcoholic, whatever that might be or feel to you, I'll do myself care bits. Like, I'll get in the shower. I'll use every single fancy scrub I've got. I will exfoliate myself. So I'm like a lovely, soft, silky dolphin. I will shave my legs. I will put a face mask on. I will go and do my IPL treatment.

I will sit in. I'll paint my nails. I'll, you know, I just go, like really just do all the nice bits. Put on Grey's Anatomy, which is just back on, which I absolutely love. I love crime wise out just for fun. It's my side hobby. I just love doing those nice things. So Phillips have brought us together today.

And I know that you've been using the Phillips Lumeyer at home IPL system for some time. now. How have you been getting on? Well, I've been, I started working with them last summer, and they first, they first tried their at-home IPL device. And I was really nervous because I've always, I usually quite nervous about anything at home because I'm like, can I do this? Do I need someone professional? I'm always just like, oh, I'm going to break something. I'm going to, you know, but it's so, it was so easy and smooth and brilliant. And it was especially good for me because also, like I really want to speak to my audience about, you know, a lot of, a lot of plus-size women have spoken to me previously about kind of feeling too nervous to go to salons and having things done. You know, will the bed fit me?

Will the, will the person doing this be nice and not judgmental? Like all these different things that I think a lot of maybe smaller bodies wouldn't necessarily have to think about, but we do. So it was really good to like be able to feed back to that, my community as well and be like, let me. try this to see how it goes. And it's been, to be honest, it's been great because I started using it and it's, I thought it was going to be that harder than it was. I thought it was going to be painful. It wasn't. It was totally fine. I always, I mean, I don't always shave my legs, but whenever I shave my legs, I try and make a habit of once I, when I do like, one of my nice, fancy self-care days, I would like, right, do that, do your IPL, moisturized within, with an inch,

of your life so you look absolutely fabulous and feel great and it's just it is it's it's just become like part of like my other routine there because it's just I leave it I leave it in a space I can remember it I have it in my in my bedroom and I just do what everyone else does I like to think and I come and sit on the edge of my bed in my clothes for about four hours before I get actually do anything and I just do it then which is great I put a podcast on or something or whatever I'm fancy doing or a good playlist and I just do it it it's great. It's been, it's definitely been easier than I ever thought it would be. Fabulous. Have you seen any good results using the Phillips LeMayer?

My legs have definitely seen a lot less hair growth. It's definitely reduced in terms of like if it feels like, like almost thinner. Like it's growing back like a lot less if when it does. And the time between the growth is a lot less as well. Great. So less maintenance. Yeah. I just have to shave my legs a lot less than I usually do, which in general is always, I never, as I said, I'm not the best at shaping my legs as it is anyway.

So the fact that it's safe me time is just brilliant. So it's fab for me. It's been so great to talk to you about all things, kind of body confidence and self-care. And kind of before we go, you've got so much wisdom that you share with people in your community often. And it would be great if you could share a few pearls with us. So I think, as we were saying at the start,

the pandemic era has been really tough on people, people's relationships with their bodies. Yeah. And if anyone is feeling the pressure to, you know, as we said, there isn't no judgment if people do want to change their body. But if they're feeling pressure to change their body in a rapid and unhealthy way or maybe they're shunning invitations like, you know, high school Cali was to kind of do things that they find fun because they don't feel like they're emerging having had some,

you know, sort of lockdown glow up. Again, I'm using lots of air quotes in this episode. What would you want them to know? I think we always have this idea that body changes or weight gain is something really terrible and really bad. But your body just does what it feels it needs to to get you by. And if you've had to, you know, maybe lent more on food or whatever or whatever, comfort lying around a lot more, so have I. So have many of us, you know.

when you're going through traumatic difficult situations, it's not like everyone had the urge to get up and start, you know, working out every single day. Great thing if you did, that's brilliant for you. And for some people that works. But it's not going to be for everybody and that's okay. I just think there's immediate pressure as well that everyone had to use this time to come out the other side as a new and improved version of themselves.

That makes me sad because it's like, gosh, this was actually a really difficult time. and some people, you know, way more difficult than others. It's been a lot. So I think just be, just be aware of that and remember that you're doing the best you can. And that's okay. And then I think just to end it on really a kind of more of a positive uplifting vibe, is just to say that no matter what happens, you are still going to look absolutely fire, no matter what, because honestly, you're going to look absolutely great.

because let's remember that weight or gaining weight or losing weight is not a reflection of our worth. It doesn't matter. You're going to look absolutely hot. Whatever you do, you're going to feel amazing. I want you to put on your best outfit when you're ready for it. When things start to open up and you feel comfortable enough and you feel safe and you feel like it's my time, I'm ready to go. Put on your best lipstick. And I tell you something now, it doesn't bloody matter. So long as you feel good in yourself, that's all the matters. I just think just be kind to yourself in even in those situations when you feel bad because there will be another day. You'll wake up another day and you'll feel good. We all, every day is a different. No, as I said, as we both at the beginning, it's not linear. So just go with the flow and let yourself be and let yourself feel the things. And hopefully you'll be able to

enjoy a lovely summer feeling just great because you're alive and well and just live in the life and the way you choose to not following rules and just being who you are because that's the most important thing. Absolutely. Absolutely. And just as you're saying that, I was thinking as we were kind of almost debunking the whole kind of summer body thing earlier in the way that there are no rules for the way that your body should look in terms of its size or shape. There are no rules for what you, we were there talking about, you know, shaving our legs and doing our IPL. But it's the same thing, isn't it, with body hair? Yeah. There are absolutely no rules and no standards. It's about what helps you feel good. Oh yeah, absolutely. Like I said it about a million times, but like for me, the reason

why I love having silky smooth legs is because I absolutely, there isn't, to me, there is no better feeling in the world than getting into fresh bedding on a Sunday night with silky legs. It's just, for me, it's just like chef's kiss. It's just the perfect thing. And I appreciate that, you know, not for everybody and I never would hold anyone to that. You know, that's just me. That's just what I love. I don't, to be honest, I don't care about physically having it here or people seeing it, but it's just the way it makes me feel. And I just think, yeah, absolutely, again, this is all about body autonomy guys, you know, like everything that we do, you should respect yourself decisions and you respect the decisions of others. I think the biggest problem we all have is the judgment we put on ourselves and other people.

If we let go with that judgment, we do all feel a lot better about everything, I think, because we just got to let people live their lives. So long as you're not hurting anybody with your decisions, then go ahead, flourish and live. Go for it. Absolutely. Well, I think what better place, what better place to end, Callie Thorpe, thank you so much for coming on the show. It's been so good to chat. Thank you. So good to be on here and I feel very uplifted chatting with you. So thank you very much for having me. You've been listening to founder of the Confidence Corner Callie Thorpe on Mission Confidence, a special edition of the Going for Gold podcast sponsored by Phillips, designed to help you on your body confidence journey. This podcast has been created as part of our project body love initiative. And if you enjoyed it, make sure you register. for the Project Body Love event that's running between the 15th and 16th of May. All you need to do is click the link in the show notes. Mission Confidence will be back next week.

Tune in then.