KGCI: Real Estate on Air - Breaking Barriers in Real Estate.

Episode Date: May 14, 2024

Hey everyone and welcome to the Reveal podcast in a world where societal norms often dictate the path that we walk. It is so crucial to seek inspiration from those who dare to challenge those norms. So today we're diving deep into a story of an entrepreneur that embodies resilience, innovation, and the power of transformation. Our guest, Sharon Alipana, is not just a real estate expert. She's a trailblazer who has redefined a destiny against all odds. So from traditional bounds of her home country to the bustling real estate market of San Diego, Sharon's journey is a profound narrative of breaking barriers and pursuing passions with relentless determination.

And as a woman who's not only survived but is thriving in her career, her story is an inspiring testament to what can be achieved when we do. dare to dream big and push beyond the confines of convention. We're going to reveal strategies for success, how you can balance an intense career with a fulfilling personal life, and empower and inspire others along the way. Let's jump right in. Sharon, welcome and happy birthday. Welcome to the Reveal Podcast Studio. I can't believe we booked on your birthday. I'm so super excited for you to be here. Sharon, welcome. Thank you so much just for having me here. It's, it's amazing to be here of my birthday because it makes it extra special for me to minutes with you here,

share my story, and just pick off my day on the right direction. I love that. And you're such a servant leader, Sharon. The way you show up, the difference between you and many other people I've in life are many you like want to come to the table. They want to be part of the conversation, which is fabulous. Like they want to contribute. They have something to say. But what's so unique and special about you is that you listen to understand. You speak to be understood. And when you come in, you always take something away with you and you immediately show back up with a deliverable and say, I've executed this. I have taken action. Here it is. What is the next step or here is the next step. And in the real estate industry, I feel like to be a strong leader, we have to move at that speed of implementation and action.

And I've really learned a lot about your leadership style in the last few months of getting to know you. So happy birthday. Welcome. And I just want to jump in. Like, where are you in terms of in the real estate industry and your business? What does that look like for you and where are you located for the audience? Yeah. So I am located in sunny, beautiful San Diego. And for those of you are not in San Diego, I'm not rubbing in, but it's beautiful here, right? I know. Rub it in. It's gone right everywhere, but it's beautiful down here.

So if you haven't visited San Diego, I highly recommend that you should come. And if you come, give me a shout, I will be your private tour lead, and I will show you around. So I've been in real estate industry for a very long time. Since 2001, my journey started in Canada, where I had some sort of. or a personal story, which was not so great. And they kind of pushed me into getting into space and making a difference and making an impact. Fast forward 10, 15, 20 years,

here I am in San Diego and in real estate in helping transform the real estate industry here by mirroring technology and all the cutting digital steps into the space to help streamlined experience for everybody, including ourselves and clients. Lots to unpack there. Let's talk first with a company, that you're working at EXP Realty, where we are colleagues at EXP Realty, I think one of the things

that is most commonly misunderstood about our culture and our community is a great example is how we met. So we didn't meet in person, but we've built a really strong connection through something that we have a shared interest in, which is empowering women and creating new leaders in our industry. So tell me a little bit about that and what's been your experience in terms of community at EXP Realty. That's actually a very good question because that's how I was thinking about this cloud-based companies, like in general, right? Like the real estate company or whatever, that all these virtual companies, you lose this

human touch and human connection. But at Pinetexp, which we are coming out actually one year anniversary. April. Congrats. Yeah. I'm actually an April baby. I'm a spring baby, EXP baby as well. I was like, we got so.

We had this great connection. They should have a whole like horoscope for like, when did you join the XP? Oh, I'm a tour. I was introduced to the XP and part of our larger team, right, in San Diego's and States. We were all told about these communities that, yeah, there are these groups that exist and they all connect virtually, globally. Especially after pandemic, we all learned how to be productive, how to connect and how to build a relationship virtually. But then you wouldn't realize that until you actually step into this world and actually experience it to see that. So real.

It is actually real. So when we joined, we immediately got introduced to workplace, all of these groups and all these amazing communities that have been built initiated virtually by different people globally and how they're growing, how they're helping each other and supporting each other in business, which was very refreshing to me because that, that. That's not normal for real estate industry, right? In traditional way, basically. So there's like Bob at the water cooler. Jody does trainings on Thursdays. There's so much. There's so much information out there.

There's so much support that I feel like, oh my God, I don't even know what I mean like I have time to pick and choose to do every day. Join every day and what I can help participate, help collaborate, help contribute to that. And then you and I meeting part of this amazing group that we again got into it because of our personal interest and passion. And that's like when you have that personal passion and interest and you immediately could have gravitate to go with each other.

And yes, all happened over video communication, not in person. I know. In fact, sometimes there are people at EXP Realty that when I see them in person the first time, I don't even realize it's bad. always say this, but I'll say, oh, think in my head, have I met them in person? I can't remember sometimes because the connection is so real and so strong. And so yeah, I feel like that about you and I meet you in person next time. It'll be like, oh, hey, great to see you again. Right. One of the funniest coming I got from somebody who I met at EXP call last year.

Actually, I thought it was flattering comments. Oh, my God. I thought you were short. And I'm like, Oh, that's interesting. Because I always have my camera higher. Yes, I'd ever be the same. I'll take that other call for me. Thank you so much. Yeah, sure. I love it.

That's so funny. So tell me a little bit about you are originally from Iran. You moved to the U.S. from Canada. What do you want to reveal on the reveal podcast about your journey as it relates to a moment of time that you could go back to where you had something burning in your heart or your soul about being an entrepreneur or living your purpose. Like how long is that lived inside you going all the way back as a child or like where did that all begin?

That's a loaded question. I don't know how much you wanted to. What's the only 10 degrees of left? The mic is yours. Oh my gosh. There we go. I have the floor. Imagine just take a moment.

If you can, close your eyes, imagine this little girl, six or seven years old, chained down to a pole. Right. She kept moving around a little bit, diameters, right? And then she's trying to jump and make a little difference in the area that she's living in. She can't. She keeps getting back. Imagine that for a number of years. That's how I felt like when I was living in around. From when I was six, when I started understanding the differences of what the society, how the society works, how the culture works, and how everything. basically works outside of my house, my home, until I was 18 and I left Iran. Every time I try to make a leave, to make a change, to do something different, to do something better for me, it was like, hey, somebody was pulling that chain back. And that was not a, I can tell that's not a pleasant feeling. You always feel like you don't even have the basic freedom, right? It's going to take one step towards what you really want, what your dreams are, and how you want

to live your life. And one of the, and this is the reveal part, one of the examples, I've shared this example in a couple different events and occasions is that when I was in high school, the principal of that school, which was, by the way, all women high schools, all girls, it was not combined. So we all had different high schools, men and boys and girls. And our principal used to stand at the door and check everybody head to toes and make sure that we are all dressed properly. One day I walked in with white socks. I don't even know why, but I always used to wear. We always had to stay with dark shade, gray, brown, navy, blue, and things like that. No bright, no light, no, no happy colors. And then she looked at me and she was like, oh, no, you need to go by hand,

change your socks. And I was like, why is that? So I asked her a bunch of times. And finally, she said, white socks attracts men. And I'm like, what? That is insane, right? Do you think White color attracts mitt? No. I mean, like, in the U.S. something that equates to, like, white t-shirt contest. No, definitely not related to socks. Yeah.

No, I don't, I can't think of anything. As I had, I was forced to walk back home to change that. Two thoughts came to my mind. One is that how in the world, white color attracts opposite gender? Like, I just didn't get it, like, as a high school kid. And the second one is like, disappointing that is for me to have to go home, change this because I don't want to the specific type of reaction that they assume that's going to happen.

Yeah, that's the big key right there. That was actually. I actually have a not same experience, but I was in Catholic school as a young girl, and it was mixed, but we had only 30 kids per class per grade, K through 8. I didn't go there until sixth grade, actually. But we couldn't wear nail polish, makeup, only similar. One thing that was always interesting to me, though, is that the reason why I felt it was different than yours, I was never told that it was because it attracted men.

In my schooling, it was because they wanted all the kids to feel like they had the same. But it didn't work because when you had the brown braided belts, like some people had a Calvin Klein one, and then others had the couple dollar one. or the thrift store one like I did. Or the kids had the shirts and they had the little logos of the brand, whereas the other white shirts, mine was like the $4.99 one. So it didn't work. Similar for you, I don't know, it didn't seem like an effective strategy.

But what's great about children and what you experience is that you're questioning it. And so through your curiosity of, is this an undeniable truth? Similar to being an entrepreneur, right? it is this an undeniable truth or like I need to test this. So where did you go from there in feeling you didn't want to subscribe to this belief? So what did you do about it? No, I definitely, that was, that might seem small. And that's one of the examples, one of many examples. A million. So many of them. But that's something that I can actually share openly. But those little examples, when they call out, although little incident, which did not seem little

back then, right now when I think about it. your whole world. Yeah. It was like my basic rights, my basic freedom, right, choosing the color I want to wear. Basic. So anyway, I changed. I went back to school.

But then that was my like, a-huh moment, right? Something woke up in my head that if you would live here, this is going to be your life forever. This is it. That's how a culture is. The society treats you that way. The government is setting standards and rules that are, they are set by men.

They are for men. men are basically ruling the whole country, then the women who were treated like second-class citizens, basically, when I was living there. You think at that time that you knew the difference, though, not just knew the difference, but you knew there were something else that existed? That's what I'm... No, I didn't. Yeah, that part I'm interested in. It's not like you'd been exposed to a world where it was different. No, I didn't, but it just, it bothered me.

And thrown up at home, I think I shared this in a different, different event and meeting that we were in. I grew up with seven brothers, right? So in a way, I had eight dads, basically. And all of them were older. They're all older. Wow. I was used to getting pushed around a lot, especially being the younger kid, too. So I built that, I don't know, I didn't know resilience back then, but I built that in

me that is, okay, it's not going to push around. So I'm just going to talk back and say, no, I don't want to do this. I'm not going to do that. I had a lot of consequences after that. But what changed was when I realized what's happening, it was when we took a family reunion trip to Turkey, all of us together. And when and then when we got there and we started talking to some of these folks that we met there, my brothers, they used to live in Canada back then. So they came from Canada. So we came from Canada.

So we reunited. I just paid attention to. to what's happening around me there. And I'm like, oh my God, there was a whole new world outside of our lives. Wow. Which people are actually, from what I can see, I didn't know anything, any different. But from what I could see, people are actually treated equally, at least from my point, different than what you had.

Totally. Totally. And I saw these girls and women my age that they didn't even have sex on. And I'm like, oh, my God. Right? And when I went back, so we were there for two, about three weeks, vacation, we had a good time. And everybody had a great time on a vacation. But that was not a big aha moment for me.

It was a big thing for me that there's a world outside of Iran. And that's way better world. That's what I want. When I went back, I put my foot down and I'm like, I need to leave. I'm going to leave. I cannot live here. I will die. I can just suffocate if I live here.

And because of a lot of things that happened along the way in high school, because of, again, after that, it was turned in. into this rebellious girl that I'm like, oh, I know there's a better world out there. So every time somebody was questioning me or challenging me on the colors, and my piece of hair showing up, I would, they would say talk back. I was rude to them or I was just say, hey, this is a color that I like to wear today. Or this is my hair is covered. But if there's one piece of hair showing, it's not the end of the world. So I was told that I can't attend university admission tests because I'm not qualified from religious point of view and social status point of view or whatever that they may.

So basically I was told that I can't go to university. I cannot graduate. I can't get a degree. I can do nothing. So that would have been the end of my life there, basically. The other option I had there is just live there to marry somebody, have kids, and then stay home. That was my other option. But that was not for me, especially after seeing the world,

the way I saw it for the first time, it was not. The second option was not even an option for me. No, it wasn't. Because when I was talking to my brother, too, so when I was there and I was seeing all of this, I started talking to him, and he used to live in Canada back then. And he told me, oh, my God, you just wait until you ever have a chance

to come and visit Canada. It's way better. And I'm like, what? There's a better place. This? I made up. Anyway, that was the basically jumping board for me. That was it. And then I made the decision and I'm not, no matter what happens and how it happens, I'm going to get out of there. How when you got to Canada and then you came to the US, how many iterations of you and what you thought you wanted to do happened before you decided or you found entrepreneurship and real estate?

Oh, so many. I went to school. Then I started, I found a job and I started working for different companies. Because again, from where I came from, it was not my second nature to, hey, I'm just going to go try to something on my own. I was way of risked worse. Like I didn't want to take risk. I don't want to take big leaps. You were risk adverse most your life. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And it was just, okay, let's go with the safest way. Right. So this way was like go to the school, find a job and work somewhere, right? Just keep it under radar for a while until you figure it gets things out. And then later on you realize I don't like doing this. I don't like sitting at my desk all day and just taking orders in their way, right? Because there's a better thing, better ideas, all these ideas that I have in my head.

And it kept going. It kept going. It didn't stop. But I was like, at first I was like, okay, let's not do that. That's not safe for you. That's not what you used to. That's not what you do. But it took a lot from finding not good mentors, right?

Like really open off to these mentors. The mentors played a huge role in my life. Not only they mentored me, but they advocated for me. They also pushed me beyond my boundaries, like beyond my comfort zone that I was used to. Okay. In Iran, yes, you had all of those experiences, but you don't live there anymore. So you're here. All these capabilities.

You have all these opportunities. So it's all really up to you what you do with it. Ooh, putting it on you. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, that's great mentors you had. And what's interesting is you've always had this innate thing in you challenging what the norm is. But then you're discovering a new world within the world that you're in, right? So it's how it's like changing the construct of which you always existed in, right? Where, okay, this is the way it works like in society. And now saying, even within this society, there are many different ways that I can participate that I have.

have to take accountability for how I do that. What happened with entrepreneurship and in terms of how we could help others listening with how you broke from someone's challenging you and saying there's this whole world out here as an entrepreneur, but it's on you. What steps did you take? Yeah. The first thing it was really for me to really understand my own limitations that I created for myself. Ooh, yes. Write that down, everybody. We're done here. Yeah. I used to like today's, my birthday is my rebirth again, right? Like, yes, speak it.

Like, oh my God, let's go. Let's think what happened, how you came about, right? It was all from limitations that it was in my head for me. The society, the atmosphere, the community that I was in, it was all ready for me to do whatever I want. It gives me the opportunity, give me all the freedom, give me everything that I needed. It was just in my head, you can't do it, really.

You're not built. this. Get over that, that, no, I am actually good enough. I'm built for this and I'm going to make it happen. Yes, I'm going to fail multiple times. But the point is that unless you actually try and you fail, you don't even know what your capabilities are. Right.

So you gave yourself permission. Right. That's a great. Actually, that's a really good point because it's just like allowing yourself to fail. But if you haven't done it and you never. We're trying. You don't even know what it is like. You're going to fail or you're going to succeed. But it's okay to stumble along the way and then find your path. The path that you really built for it, most of us, we could deep down, but then we create all these barriers, these permission basically, the deal, I would say. In your head, okay, we're just going to stay here. You can't really go beyond that. And unless you break that, breaks it as well, you wouldn't know what's out there. I feel like some days you just have to label them for what they are and just identify like, today is just a bad day, but it's not my reality.

It is not where I am and is not who I am, but like today's a day. And then on the good days, it's like, okay, how can I get momentum from here? So when you started having these days, you're recognizing your behavior, you're understanding that you have to give yourself permission. That's a transformation. That's a huge transformation. and you needed those mentors to help you get there. So now you've become a mentor for other women.

What are some of the other things that you're sharing with them to help them grow? As it relates even to what you were saying about worthiness, what are some tips that you could share? Yeah, I just, everybody understands. Like I'm a single mom, right? So just like you said. Like a really good single mom. I have bad days, challenging days, and I have very bad days.

There are so many days that I'm like, I want to call and just getting my seven-year-old kid ready. I'm in the car and I'm like, oh, my God, what was like thinking? This is way too much. This is stressful. Drop them off in the desert. Like, is it? I don't know.

I could just do this. Anyways, a lot of things run through my head as I'm like multitasking. I'm doing it, trying to get everything through. And once you get through some of those like challenges throughout the day and things, level off, balance house, and you're like, oh, my God, this session. I got it. I actually got it. And then getting them through that hump over that hump, it gives you the sense of, hey, I can do it. And I will do it again. And I will do them better. Because we learn experiences, right? You can become obsessed with that process, right? I know what we're doing here.

I have become my own biggest competitor. Like, it's me against every single day. Yes, I'm going to Not today. Like a couple days ago, I had a very bad day because my son woke up in really bad mood. And it happens. They're little kids. We wake up and bad. And I had issues with transactions and things. But again, it was that time.

And I'm like, I looked at myself in the mirror and I'm like, so you tell me you can't do this? I look at it to myself. Yeah. And then I told myself because I have like when it comes to. really challenging myself. I am like, again, my own biggest competitor. And I told myself, I looked at the mirror and I said, you tell me if you can't do it and you can't fail.

You tell me if you're a failure. You can't look at yourself and tell yourself that. Right. I love that. That's so good. That is way beyond affirmations. That is. Yeah.

Just being in that moment and calling yourself out. That's good. Yeah. Love that. I love what you mentioned. Like there are so many things that it all creates this environment for me. And that's how I'm what I'm ready to do to help these communities that I'm part of. I'm part of, I'm on a board of multiple communities.

I'm part of different communities that are, again, not only help share stories, ideas, brainstorm, help from business perspective, but also it's like empowering each other, right? Giving each other a word. Because I'm not the only one who is experiencing some of these lives, challenges a life, moments. There are so many single moments out there that are going through a much more challenging situations than I have. And how we support each other, how we show up, not by just words, sometimes those are important, but then how we show up in practice and how we show up in real life to help each other. That makes the difference. And in my world, if I can help one person a day,

one person a year, that's an accomplishment for me because that one person counts and that person multiplies. Yes, the ripple effect, right? So let's give the listeners some advice because you have, even early in your career, I believe, really plugged into community mentorship, receiving mentorship. How do you in a virtual environment get plugged into community? What are some of the first steps that you could tell someone that they could, they could jump into action after this podcast and say, okay, I'm going to get started? Because I feel like some of it unravels from there, right, once you get plugged in. But what would be some of the first ways to identify getting into places that align with your purpose and the outcomes that you want?

So you set the magic word. First thing is actually knowing your purpose, right? What do you want, what your purpose is and why you want to do what you want to do? For me, when I was, I'm looking for a community or I want to join part of the community, I question my own purpose. Like, why do I want to do this? If it's all about you and what you get out of this community or support system, it's not going to work. It will not work. It's all about building your relationship and it can be supporting each other.

Somebody is going to support you and you're going to have to turn around and support somebody else. Give back to the same community. Yes. Going to put you at this first. And the second one is, I've seen this a lot to, like, people show up. One, they are not prepared enough to say, why I'm here. this is what I'm looking for and this is what I'm here to do for this community. They just show up and hope that things will just happen.

So articulating your value. Exactly. Artic purpose, passion, and values. And then what you bring to the table? They not be whole a lot. I started from somewhere where I had this much to contribute. And that's okay too. But be able to find out.

That's such a good point because I've noticed in some places where I contribute, where I started was I would say, this is what I can do. even though I could do more. That's when I felt confident. It's like before I was an entrepreneur and you get a job. And the way I would get jobs is say, I will do this first. And I will show you my value for free. And then, and so coming in and just saying,

hey, I'll clean the dishes oftentimes. Like your real value, sometimes people will recognize a superpower you have that you don't really recognize yourself. And one of the greatest ways to get to grow is to be around people that really want to see you in. And so they will point out to you what your strengths are when you haven't quite developed those muscles yet. And you're not able to articulate what your big purposes. It's good to be around people that can recognize that.

And you have, has that been an experience for you where you've learned new things about yourself? Yeah. And that's what this community that's support networks are for. because that's the beauty of this because most times we don't see what we have. We know what we can do, but we don't know how valuable they could be for society and then start small at home and grows to bigger communities, societies and bigger spaces. And then right communities that you join, and that again goes back to your purpose, why you want to join this community, you have to find the right place to be at. And then really being open and honest and transparent, well, you're doing this

because those are the people that they're going to help you succeed. They're going to help you see your weaknesses and they're going to support you to get through them, get over and learn and improve. And then they're going to say, oh my God, Shireen, you actually do really good job washing dishes. So, I mean, what's the power of a community? I'm a big proponent of communities. I love being in a team, space, team environment, the community and helping each other. And just again, I may not have a whole lot to offer, but everybody is unique and everybody has a unique

talent, unique value that they bring to the table. I love that. I really enjoy this conversation and where it went in terms of helping people understand the value of being connected to others. We cannot succeed in this business alone. Nope. Or by ourselves. And I feel like no matter how many playbooks you have thrown at you, you can pick one, you can pick another, you can try to execute. But if you're trying to do it alone, you will not succeed at the highest level. This is the reveal podcast. So you've revealed a lot about your story. I know that you have a beautiful story and so much more to share. But what would you to reveal about sharing right now what you're looking to accomplish this year where someone might be able to help you accomplish that goal or to come and learn from you?

What's something that you're focused on right now in your life or your business? So my biggest focus right now, even it comes to my personal life is about myself. So how I can get involved with him even more as a single mom and how I can help teach him this concept of community. And it's trust me, it starts when they are very young, very at that age, seven years. So the biggest thing I'm doing, I'm partnering out with a lot of schools in San Diego. I'm very actively involved with this school volunteering, doing a lot of stuff, doing show and tells and things like that to, again, do my part, right? It may not be, but it's something. I'm teaching these kids like, this is how you come together.

When you're working together, this is called community, and this is a small community of your classroom. This is how you're going to do it. And this is how you can succeed together because it's all about this classroom and how you all are together because you're spending eight hours a day together. So you're each other's value, right? And then going out to the business world, again,

I take the same concept, right? One of the things we are doing is like how we can build better partners. with other corporations, with other communities, and then bring them to the table, we all share, we all network, we all support each other, and we all win. It's all about win situation for everybody. And when we come with an open heart, with an open mind, transparent mind, with a community in mind, everybody wins. Sad, I love that. And also, it just, I can feel your energy and your spirit that you are truly living a life by design, right? You're spending, you're able to spend time with your son and be around people that already know and trust you.

It's going to be a no-brainer when they conduct real estate transactions that you're the person. And you can live in this construct that is just much more, much more at ease and much more able to just live you and not have to burn out on cold leads and people like constantly trying to build new rapport from nothing like transactional, like you're building a real legacy that your son can grow into and really see you lead by example. So I commend you for that. And share just, happy birthday. Thank you for being here. I'm so proud of you. I can be how we are just so proud to know you excited till, ooh, we've got some hearts on the screen. But I'm excited. I love watching you grow. I'm grateful as well for your mentorship. I learn a lot from you and excited to see where

we take the Women's Impact Network and many other communities that we're part of. So happy birthday. And thanks again for joining us. And I look forward to connecting again soon. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. I am so grateful that I met you. And this, I just want to give a shout out to YXP because if it was not part of YXP, then I would not have met you. So I'm grateful being part of this large community of YXP. And I'm so happy that I can call you a friend. It's all the same. Yeah, we connect. And you have a bottle of wine on your desk as a gift.

So there could be benefits from us being in real life right now, but we'll work on that. Why I'm going on? I think so. In many places. In Iran, it is. So from your birth to. Thank you, Sharon.