KGCI: Real Estate on Air - Find Your Guide: Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way with Mentorship

Episode Date: July 28, 2025

Summary:Navigate your career path by understanding when to lead, when to follow, and when to seek guidance, particularly through the power of mentorship. This episode dives into the crucial role a mentor plays in accelerating your success, building confidence, and avoiding common pitfalls. Discover actionable strategies for finding the right mentor who aligns with your goals and helps you unlock your full potential in any field, especially real estate.Bullet Point TakeawaysThe Mentorship Imperative: Understand why having a seasoned guide by your side is crucial for building a thriving career, transferring invaluable industry knowledge, and navigating complexities that textbooks can't teach.Defining Your Leadership Role: Explore the classic adage "Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way," recognizing the different roles you can play in any situation and how effective leadership or informed followership contributes to collective progress.Strategic Mentor Selection: Learn how to identify and choose the right mentor by clarifying your specific goals, seeking individuals whose experience aligns with your aspirations, and ensuring they embody values like trustworthiness and commitment.Benefits of Mentorship: Discover how a mentor provides a sounding board for ideas, builds confidence, offers access to an established professional network, shares time management skills, and guides you through challenging situations, significantly shortening your learning curve.Cultivating a Productive Mentorship: Gain insights into how to approach potential mentors, engage with their content, offer value in return, and establish clear communication systems for regular check-ins and constructive feedback to ensure a mutually beneficial relationship.Topics:How to Find a MentorReal Estate MentorshipLeadership PrinciplesCareer Guidance SuccessProfessional DevelopmentCall-to-Action:Ready to accelerate your journey to success? Listen to the full episode on your favorite podcast platform and learn how to find the mentor who will change your game!

Welcome to another episode of the Uncommon Real Estate Podcast. I am your host, Chris Craddock, and I am here today to help you learn to build wealth. Wealth is when your money works harder than you work. And how do you get off the hamster wheel of real estate? You've got to do a lot of business, make a lot of money, and then buy assets. That's how we get off the hamster wheel. So with that said, the big key here is today. How do we think bigger?

And it is all about bringing people into our lives that are a step or two ahead of us in areas that we care about. And it doesn't mean that they're better than you. I've talked to so many people that get all weird about finding mentors in their life. Oh, man, the reality is get over yourself. Okay. You need to learn to ask people for advice. You need to learn to ask people how to think about things. I still remember when I was just really working on getting my head right around food.

And I called one of my buddies who was like, He used to be a total fatty, like big O-Linman guy and was able to lose a ton of weight. And I just said, hey, tell me some of the ways you think. And he's, man, I just know whenever I went to restaurants, I would always just eat like crazy. And last night I was invited to a restaurant and I did eat like crazy. But he said, one of the things I do is I download the menu ahead of time. I look at it and I decide what I'm going to eat when I'm not hungry so that when I'm there, this is the mind that I'm made up.

I'm not thinking about it when I'm hungry. And I'm like, dang, that's awesome. And you realize that people that have done what you want to do, you can learn to think like they think. And then you can learn to act like they act. And so that's what today is going to be all about. How do we find mentors? What are the things they're doing?

What can we learn from them? How do we ask the questions and go from there? So with that said, our boy, Jeff Saferight has joined us as well. Jeffrey, how are you doing, man? And living the dream, brother. Living the dream. I know Jeff has a couple big deals that are coming through right now. And yeah, I know he's been fighting for his life on one of these deals that I was just told by the attorney, there's a 70% chance that we're closing today.

So let's see. Well, outside of that, I'm just looking for a mentor that can help me get the type of hair that Chris Craddock has. How do you think? What's your thought patterns that allow that hair to be so, so phenomenal? I will say this. I'm so bummed because my brother is starting to lose his hair. He's four years younger than me. He's starting to lose his hair on the side.

So everybody thinks he's my older brother. But I'm certainly to get the gray in the beard now. And so for the first time in years, somebody thought I was the older brother because he saw the gray in my beard. And I'm like, dang it. It is literally one of the great joys in my life when people think my four years. younger brother is my older brother. It makes me so happy. I just think some of these masterminds you may go to must be trips to Turkey. That's all I'm going to say. Fair enough. Fair enough.

All right. So let's get into this. How do we find mentors? How do we find people that are mentors? Let me give you the first rule. Rule number one, never ask them to be your mentor. Never ask them to be your mentors. I'll tell you, I've had so many people in my life, reach out, If I'm a podcast, I'm saying, hey, I'm willing to help people, which I am. And they'll call and say, hey, will you mentor me? And I'm like, no, I'm not signing up for that. I will not sign up for that. But you know what I will sign up for is having a conversation.

I'll have one. And if I like you and you like me and I feel like you're going to do the things it takes to change your life, that gives me a lot of joy to see people change their life and have another conversation. But I'm not signing up to be somebody's mentor when it feels like baby. sitting, right? Right, right. Oh, man. So at Lifetime, which is where I work out in the morning, there's this trainer. She's always with like the same, the same different people. And there's this one lady that she's been with like every time. And the lady like is very big, like very obese.

And I looked at it and I was thinking this morning, I'm like, there's nothing that gives me greater joy than helping people. But how do you, like, feel good as a personal trainer. How does she keep doing that when it's like the person stays exactly the same? And she's been exactly the same for the year that I've been there, whatever it's been, has not changed at all in size. Like, how do you, it just would be so, it's so hard to wake up and say, okay, I get a go and train somebody or work as a trainer with somebody that I know is not going to do the things to change their life. And that that to me is one of the hardest things ever. And I just feel, I don't know, but I don't know. You have any thoughts on that? I know you were a pastor for a long time, Jeff.

So you have any thoughts on that? And then we'll get into like, how do you find them and what do you say to actually get them to say yes? Yeah. I think the thing that I'm trying to find a right way of saying, but fuddles my mind, that's probably the most appropriate way I can say it, is people that, I mean, there are just, there are people in the world that have no desire to change. that have no desire to grow, that have no desire to work smarter, to work harder, to work more efficient, to be more healthy, to be any of these things. And sometimes they just flat out tell you, right, and by their actions, then you have other people who constantly talk about the need to change.

And they show up, quote unquote, ready to change, but they're not willing to put the work in, right? to do what it takes to change. The one thing that I constantly talk about with my kids, because I just told one of my kids this morning, they're my greatest legacy, right? And so to some degree, they're going to get the first and foremost of my mentorship, right? And what I tell them all the time is,

is that you're going to have one of two pains, right? You're either going to have the pain of the pain of suffering, if you will, of growing, right? the growing pains and putting in the work, or you're going to have the pain of regret, right, because you didn't put it in the work. And that's a personal choice that you have to make. Another way that I say it is you're guaranteed to walk two roads in life.

If you choose an easy road when you're young, then you're going to live the hard road when you're older. If you choose the hard road when you're young, you'll get to live an easier road or path later in life. And to be honest, some of that is just becoming more comfortable with the difficult things in life. because when you become more comfortable with the difficult things in life, it feels easier, right?

So like when you're in shape, working out and running and doing whatever, it doesn't hurt, right? It doesn't feel painful, and you get to live the benefits of being healthy, right, and in shape. And so those are some of the things that we talk about. I think the question that you have to ask yourself when you're looking in the mirror, if you can't find mentors,

then they probably, see something in you that that suggests that you don't want to put in the work you don't want to go through the pain to sustain any sort of growth and and i can tell you you know at this point of my life i have no time or desire to spend time with people that don't desire growth that don't desire change that don't desire to better themselves and and so if you if you keep asking people and you don't even have to directly ask them to be your mentor, but asking them for help, asking them for things. If they look in your life and they see a reflection,

I'm getting very preachy because I'm like getting, I'm rhyming all my words, right? So I'm like, if they see a reflection of deflection in your life, right, they're not going to spend time with you, right? And so if you're struggling to find mentors, you've got to really take a look at the mirror and say, am I willing to do the hard work? Am I willing to do what it takes to grow?

because a lot of times we're just looking for the magic pill to wake up tomorrow and have everything better and have all of our needs met. And that just really doesn't happen. So that's kind of my thought pattern there. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So here's my, here's my tape. If you want to find a mentor, here's what you do. You say, okay, who do I vibe with? right and how do you find people you vibe with books that you read podcast you listen to conferences you go to i still remember i was brand new in the real estate industry and there was a guy that was doing 1,200 transactions down in texas and he spoke at a conference and i went up to him and i mean i literally didn't know anything and i just said to him i'm like hey would you be willing to have a

quick call with me i'd love to understand how you think about growing a business right and you said yeah sure, totally good. And I'm like, all right, he gave me his card. I gave him a call. And I don't, no, I asked for 15 minutes, 15 minutes. I said, we have a 15 minute phone call. And he said, sure. So I said, hey, I know that I said 15 minutes. I'm going to set the timer so that he felt like I was valuing his time. And we got to 15 minutes. And he was like, this is a great conversation. We can keep talking. Literally, we spoke for about an hour. And I learned so much. And I'm like, man, like this guy is awesome. Like, you just help me. a lot, but because I was asking your questions. And now, now that's the key, right? Can we ask good questions,

right? You really can tell, I guess, how high level somebody is or what their aptitude is by the questions they ask, right? So, Jeff, I mean, could you, I'm just trying to think through some of the questions that people have asked or that I've heard where I'm like, why would you say that versus or questions I've asked versus questions that make you say, wow, this is. this is a really thoughtful person or somebody that's really working to upgrade their life. Right. So I think, you know, if I could put it in a slightly different frame, questions from action versus questions from inaction, right? So if I come to you and I ask you, hey, Chris, I just got into real estate, would you be my mentor? Right. Or would you teach me how to do

real estate? It's such a broad open and good question, right? Rather, if I come to you and I say, Hey, Chris, I've been doing real estate for about 18 months now, and I've got three transactions, man. I'm really struggling to set appointments. Like, how do I, how do I get better at setting appointments? Right. Now you're, that, that question reflects action. It says that I've been doing something.

I'm encountering a problem. And now I'm trying to figure out how to overcome this problem, right? Instead of an open-ended question of how do I do real estate or would you mentor me or how do I close 1,200 deals a year or even 12 bills a year. That's a broad question versus a question that comes from action, right? Because I'll call you from time to time, right? We were on the phone the other day. And one of the things that I'm dealing with right now with a lot of investment style leads or wholesale style leads is we're dealing with a lot of landlords who have tenants in DC in a very tenant friendly district, right, or government. And so I come to you with, hey, here's my

problem. My problem is, is we've got to figure out how to move properties with tenants in them with landlords that don't want to give up 50% of their equity to make this deal happen. Right. And so then we, so then we talk through, we talk through action steps to solve a problem versus an open ended general question. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, that, I think that's just the most recent one that we've dealt with. Yeah. No, absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. And So I've got a guy right here on my list, although I just did, I got the remarkable because I'm tired of having papers all over my desk and all over my life because I write like my lists of things I want to do. So and this came from a friend of mine when I was in Mexico with him and he's super organized and started to ask him how he thinks about things. Right. So even though we do a little bit more business than his team, I was able to get him to mentor me in that area.

right so just understand like a mentor doesn't mean somebody that's like way far ahead of you everywhere it just means like you find a level of life where somebody's further ahead of you right and then you can can ask them questions and understand about that right and so I asked them about that but like and I got the remarkable so I'm slowly but surely moving my life into a paperless life but I've got my guy right here on my on this piece of paper who owns who owns who owns a ton of golf courses, and he's like super successful. And so bottom line is, I just, he, I asked him. I was like, hey, I love talking to people that are really successful about business so I can understand how they think about business. Would you be all right if I gave you a call?

Like literally, that is my message. And he's, yeah, sure, I'd love to have that conversation. And so my goal is to call him and, or I've actually called him. I left him and boy. mail, but now I'm going to call them back. And I'm just going to say to him when I get on the phone with him, hey, so like literally, Jeff, let's just role play the conversation. Hey, Jeff, how you doing, man? I'm glad to connect with you. Doing it yourself. Doing great, doing great. Hey, thanks so much for being willing to have a conversation with me. I just always am so thankful to talk to other people that have built big organizations. And I just, if I can learn how to think about business the way that they're thinking,

I just feel like it'd be nice to be able to not make all the mistakes that I've made in the past, that you can help me shortcut some of these mistakes going forward. I'd love to hear about that. Is that you still good for about 15 minutes? Yeah, man, I love sharing my mistakes because I've made too many of them to name. So I love to love to share my mistakes with you and hope that maybe some of the mistakes. of those that you won't have to endure yourself. Cool. And then this is, this is my question. So do you mind just sharing me, sharing with me, sharing with me your story, how you got started in your

business, how, like what it ended up turning into and where it is now? I'd just love to understand your journey. That's my question. And I love that question. And it really is powerful. Sorry, go ahead, Jeff. Yeah. Can I, can I like, I would interject him. And one of the things I would say, and I wish we had Rob Chavez on the call with us today because I think Rob's, Rob tells your story, the beginning of your story into real estate better than most people because you really are phenomenal at reaching out to people and interrogating people on how to get better, right? The one thing that I would, that I would suggest, though, is that you have a basic knowledge and understanding of who this person is, right? And give a little bit of their biography and background. I know you did X, Y, and Z and this, that, and the other, but I know there's always, there's more context to the backdrop of the story than just what meets the eye or what the

public knows. So I, I know this much about you. So that way it shows that you've done some groundwork, right? And it kind of, it kind of affirms what they've done in their history. But now you're wanting to go for a deeper dive. And I think that that shows a level of intentionality and a level of appreciation. Does that make sense? So that way you're not just.

coming in kind of cold call like hey this is can you tell me your life stories well i've told my life story numerous times it's out there somewhere assuming it's a public figure right so so showing that you've done a little bit of homework that you have a basic understanding of who they are and and why you're reaching out is i i do think that's beneficial not to again not to question the master of reaching out and and finding ways of better themselves but i do think that's shown a little bit of background information that that lets them know that you've done your homework. So we're not just going over the basic kind of. Here's my elevator pitch of how I got to where I am. It's, I want some of the nuts and bolts because I know, I know your story of where you came from

and where you got to, but show me the nuts and bolts, right? And I think that that shows that that you're worthy of my time now. Absolutely. Yeah, well, yes, absolutely. And with that said, the whole worthy of the time. So you mentioned Rob Chavez and yeah, I love when Rob tells this story because it makes me laugh. Anytime we've been on stage together, he always says that. Anytime he comes in, he always says this. But here's how this went down. Rob was either the top one or two agent in our office and one of the top agents in our region when I first started. And I literally would go to him all the time and just say, hey, Rob, do you mind if I ask you a quick question on something? And he's, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I would go to his office, knock on the door and ask him.

And he's like, come on in, right? And so then I'd sit down and I'd drill him. And I always had the notebook and I was taking notes. There's nothing that makes somebody feel better than when they're speaking, if you're taking notes, right? If you're just sitting there not like listening or even going like this, like I'm telling you, take notes and it ups the game because then they feel like it's not just lost on, right? Yeah. The most of the Bible says, don't catch your pearls before swine. And that, that's how you feel when you're talking. telling somebody something and they're not taking notes because it doesn't feel like they want to like take it in. So, so I would go sit there and I would just ask him and at the beginning he's,

I can't share that with you. It's our secret sauce. Like some of the stuff and. Wait, you didn't get offended and never came back. What's that? You didn't get offended and then and then we're like, screw that guy. I'm never coming back. No chance. Here's what I did. And it was so funny because he knows now. He knows now, like, exactly how I roll because I was asking some questions of some of the top E XP guys that, like, there's some really cool stuff coming out. And they're like really not supposed to be like people that know about it. I've signed NDAs. And so I wanted to hear about what was going on. And they wouldn't tell me. And so I just kept asking over and over and over again in

different ways, the same question. And Rob was laughing because he's just, I know what that line of questioning is. Keep asking. But, but if you. do it with a smile, it's, it's a lot better than if you're like, so tell me. Why? Why won't you tell me? But again, it shows a level of, I hate coming back to this same line, but the worthy of time situation. Like, it shows a level of ingenuity. It shows a level of curiosity. It shows a level of genuine pursuit, right? And, and, and, and also, it shows when you do it with a smile and when you do it for responding, you don't get offended. It shows that you have a character and a personality that's worth dealing with, right? That's worth investing

into. I think that there's so much that goes into that that, that has to be discussed, right? And I want to back up just a second because I feel like we've been a little bit scattered in how we've approached this today. If you're calling somebody from afar, let's say I'm, like you said, you're calling somebody in Texas, right? So if I'm calling, if I'm reaching out to somebody that I saw at a conference, somebody that's out of my area. I think having some background knowledge information of them is going to go a long ways, right? If you're talking about somebody that's in your office or very close to you and you're going

to have lunch with them, showing up with that pen and paper, that's going to go a long way with them, right? Because it just shows that how many times have you in your life had people ask you for help and then they don't follow it, right? You give them step one. and they're like, no, no, no, give me like four steps. Okay, well, here's one, two, three, and four. And they don't even do one, right?

And it's, trust me, high level people have had those conversations over and over and over and over again. And it almost gets, it just gets tiring to where they become dumb to those sorts of questions. And so when you come showing that you're a person of action, like, that's going to go so far. Right. So if it's someone that I can't get in close parameters with or close contact, with I have to show that I that I'm a person of action as I'm introducing myself to them, right? If or I have to explain or my language has to show that I'm a person acting. And if I'm getting in front of a person face to face, I need to show them that I'm a person of action.

Is that you know what I mean? Absolutely. And I think that going to what you're talking about is like asking it at different angles and not giving up, but not giving up while also not getting irritated, like that's that that's exponential right there. Absolutely. So let's, because we have just a couple minutes left. I'm going to give like the handful of ways to do this. So one, identify people that you like, right? Make a list of 15 people because there are some people that won't answer your calls, won't answer your emails, won't answer your texts, whatever it is. But make a list of 10 to 15 people, write down what it is that you think they're excellent about. Right? You write down what it is that they're excellent. And then try to keep, think of questions along those lines, right? I know that, I know Jeff has been a top wrestler. I know that he's super active in CrossFit. I know that he's super active with his fitness, right? So if I were to talk to Jeff, I know that those would be some questions I would ask him, him about because I find that

super interesting. Not that I wouldn't ask about other things, but I know that's something that's super important to him and something that he's very good at, right? Like world class in, those areas. So those would be some of the lines of thinking that I would talk about. And then if it segues to other things, then we go to other things, right? But like, you find what is an area that you know that they're passionate about and they're excellent about. You ask those questions and you try to stay on that topic and then let it segue to other things. So you find your 10 to 15 people, you write down what they're excellent about. You promise them that it's only 15 minutes. And at 15 minutes, you literally just say, hey, look, I know our 15 minutes is up. And if they offer to keep going,

that's great. Then you ask, say, hey, would it be okay? I've taken some notes here. I'm going to make some actions based on these notes. Would it be okay? After I've done that a handful of times, if I reached back out to you in 30 or 60 days just to see to kind of have some follow up questions based on what I've learned from your life and what you've done. And if they say yes, then you do that. And that is how you develop a friendship and you don't want to call it a mentorship. I've never called my mentors mentors to them. I call them my friends because that's what they become. And that's the only way that they really become your mentors is when they're your friends,

unless it's mentors that you've never met. Like Zig Ziglar, he's my mentor that I've never met, right? But I've listened to everything he's put out. So anyway, Jeff, do you have anything you want to add to that? No, I think that's great. I mean, I guess I don't want to steer us off because we're a very short time here. But speaking of Zig Ziglar, having books, seeing those as mentors, seeing other people who have been influenced by the authors that you're reading, the voices that you're reading, who are further ahead than you are, that'll create some connectivity there that should inspire more conversation as well. Awesome. All right. So Jeff, why don't you take us home? And literally, if this is something you want to learn more about, reach out. Both Jeff and I are willing to have this conversation, how to be better.

in this area. So that said, take it sound. You know, let's do this. Throw out some homework for you. Hopefully you have some daily reflection time, regardless of when that is. Write down a couple areas that you want to grow and get better in, right? And then write down, I think Chris said 15 people. 15 might seem like a lot. So do 10, do 15. Do 18. Do 8. Just do something, right? Of people that you know in each of those areas that you can grow in and then prioritize. Which area do I need to grow in the most, right? Focusing on the one thing. What's the one? What's the one? one thing the domino is going to create the domino effect for everything else to make everything else in your life easier, right? So taking action is the first step towards any sort of success,

right? So, so take an action, doing that reflection, and coming up for that list would be fantastic. So this does conclude another episode of our uncommon real estate podcast with the host Chris Craddick, myself, Jeff Safright. Wherever you are, you know where you're at, they're listening to the podcast, go there, give us a rating, give us a one, two, three, four, five. You know the drill there. Be honest. We want your honest feedback. If there's anything that we can do to to better help and serve you to reach the success that you're looking for, let us know in the comments there. We would love to have guests on that you're focused towards or that you find them to be interesting or we'd love to discuss topics that that you're needing help in there.

So as always or almost always, so looking forward to being with you then. See you next week. Bye.