KGCI: Real Estate on Air - From Struggle to Success Overcoming Motivational Hurdles When You Feel Like Quitting!

Episode Date: July 8, 2024

Very good morning and welcome to everybody. This is KGCI, Real Estate on Air. And today I want to talk about something that I'm thinking a lot of you have actually experienced this in not only your real estate career, but also in your personal career. Maybe you've had it in a different work environment. And it's this motivational challenge that we experience. I've had so many individuals reach out to me and say, you know what, Stuart, times are tough at the moment, not only in my business, but also in my financial sphere. And as a result of that, what's happening is my motivation to get up in the morning is really low. I'm finding that when I do get up, I just don't have that motivation to actually go out and start doing the relevant work that's going to help me in my business.

What can I do? Now, this has been coming through to me since the last, I'm going to say six to eight months from agents. And I typically have those one-on-one conversations and start to help. But I'm finding that I'm getting more and more of these particular questions coming through to me. Stuart, my motivation is just down. And one of the key elements of when your motivation is so down is it starts to create these strong. struggles in life. So a motivation to go and get a listing will then start to overflow into struggles into your financial space, struggles into your personal space with relationships,

struggles even into your health. So it's so important to understand how we can give you this new life of energy which ultimately is going to help you to start taking those steps forward and you're going to start creating this new level of motivation. So one of the big things with motivation is overcoming what we refer to as these struggles. And these particular struggles is something that happens to each and every one of us every single day. Now the big thing is we see these particular struggles and what we generally do is we don't actually face them. What we do is we actually turn our back on those struggles and we let those struggles get bigger and bigger and bigger. And the problem with that is it will then get to a point where you just cannot overcome it.

You cannot break it down. It becomes so engrossed inside of you that you actually physically start feeling ill. So one of the key elements when you're actually getting this low motivation. It's normally in the back of some form of struggle that we're. we're pushing to one side. And it is so important for you to start addressing. What is that struggle? Is it the struggle of finances?

Is it the struggle of personal health? Is it the struggle of the people around you, the relationships, the support structure that you may or may not have? It's so important to start there to identify these particular struggles. And ultimately, don't just address them in your subconscious mind or inside you. head, what you really need to do is take a moment where if you identify a struggle, write it down on a piece of paper. And the reason for that is once you write it down, you're actually going to acknowledge that struggle in a very different way. What you're going to be doing is you're going

to seeing it head on and suddenly go, hey, wait a minute. I actually want to attack this struggle and I want to overcome it so that I can actually say to myself, this is no longer a struggle. In fact, I want to see this particular struggle as an opportunity of growth, an opportunity to start moving me forward. Now, if you actually hear what I just said, when you take that struggle and you convert it into an opportunity, it gives you a level of motivation. And that's really the basis around all of this. However, it can't get a little bit more, let me say, complicated when we're going through this particular process, because now that you've understood what that particular challenges and now you want to face it head on,

there are actually quite a few motivational hurdles that are going to start to jump in front of your way. So just by seeing that particular struggle, don't think that, hey, I see it, I can do it and I can overcome it. You're going to be able to go forward with it. Now, what you're now going to start seeing are there some smaller hurdles that start jumping in front of you? And generally these particular hurdles, these particular hurdles, they can actually start to grow and they actually come,

what we refer to as these motivational struggles that are even larger. Because what happens is something that small kind of grows very, very quickly. So what we need to do is we need to start seeing these particular struggles. And one of the common areas that people go, oh my gosh, this particular struggle is suddenly there's this fear.

There's this fear of failure. I want to hit this particular struggle. I want to hit this particular opportunity straight on. But what if I can't do it? What if I don't know how to do it? Or I start going at it at a rapid pace and I start to burn out. You see, these are these small little hurdles that can come in your way. Or one of the big ones is you start getting a lack of clarity on what you're going to

What exactly are you doing? So, excuse me, getting rid of that little frog in my throat there. So how do we actually overcome these little motivational hurdles once we've identified this particular opportunity that's lying in our way? So there are a number of ways for us to actually make sure that we don't, one, we don't burn out. Two, we don't get this fear of failure. And three, we make sure that we have absolute clarity in what we're doing in going forward. So there's a number of little parts to breaking down these little hurdles. And that's what I wanted to share with you in a very quick point form that'll actually help you out.

So one of the key areas of when we're going out and we go, oh my gosh, I don't think I can do this. Oh my gosh, I'm pushing it. I just seem to be burning out all the time. Generally, when I start taking this through to clients, I start to identify that there's been a lack of the actual clarity of the goal. What is it that you're wanting to do? We've seen this as an opportunity, but what is the goal in achieving at the end? What is that final outcome that you're wanting to actually receive? And many times, we just don't start with a goal in mind. We just start by just conquering. So, for instance, you wake up in the morning and you suddenly realize, hey, I just don't have this motivation to make these calls.

I just don't have this motivation to set up those particular appointments. and then you say, no, you know what, I am just going to make calls and I'm going to set up those appointments. But what is the goal? What is the goal when you're setting up those appointments? What is the goal to making those calls to get those appointments? Well, maybe that goal is to get a listing. Maybe that goal is to actually get out of that particular environment and get into an environment where you can start building up that sphere of influence, growing your database. What is the goal?

When you've got that clarity on that particular goal, you're going to be able to. you're going to start seeing that those little actions, you can actually put them into those categories of, hey, is this moving towards the goal or is this moving me away from your goal? So that's the very first thing is make sure that when you get that energy to say, right, I'm going to overcome and I'm going to hit this particular opportunity head on, just take one moment back. And next to that opportunity or next to that struggle, and you see that particular opportunity right down what is the goal that you wanting to achieve. It is just so, so important. Now, I've mentioned this, which is this fear of failure. Because now that you've got this goal in mind, you can actually see the actions, whether they're working for you or whether they're working against you. But you will get this fear of failure every night and gain that comes in.

So what happens if I can't achieve this goal? What happens if I can't do all of this? And generally, that is on the back of maybe I don't know how to do it. So maybe I don't have the knowledge to do it or maybe I don't have the skills to do it. So when you start looking at these particular goals and these actions that needs to come in, fear only happens when your self-confidence is so low down and it's tied into knowledge and skills. So when you're looking at that particular task or that particular opportunity that lies ahead, ask yourself that question, do I need to learn something new to help me go through this process?

or maybe there's a new skill that I need to learn, which is going to help me to start moving forward. So you can see that when you start breaking down these opportunities, it's just not just going to hitting it straight head on. It's starting to break things down into smaller and smaller pieces. And you'll start to see, hey, wait a minute, I need to learn a new script, which is a skill to have that conversation. Because when I pick up that phone, I've got the fear of them saying, no, I don't. don't want to speak to you. So maybe I need to find that script, which you'll get them to have that conversation with me. Now, this can lead to a level of procrastination. So there is a little bit of a side element to this where you suddenly go, I see the goal, I see the opportunity, I've broken it

down to those actions, man, I need to learn a new script. And then all you do is you just spend your time in that learning phase. So you're actually procrastinating or actually making that particular call by actually saying, well, I need to learn this script and then I need to learn this script. What you need to be aware of is you need to set that timeline. You need to basically have some form of discipline that says to myself, you know what, I am going to learn this new, but then I need to practice it. I need to practice it with somebody and then I'm going to say, right, at 9 o'clock, I'm just going to make that call and I'm going to see if it actually works. Not have this procrastination to say, right, for the next week, I want to learn this

particular script. You need to make sure that you're actually picking it up, learning it and putting it into practice so that the procrastination doesn't come into actual play. So making sure that clear goal so that you actually can see that actual well-defined, overcoming that fear of actually making those calls by identifying what is it that's going to start boosting your self-confidence and making sure that it's not backed by procrastination to say, well, now I found myself a distraction that I don't have to now focus on making that particular call. And it's all to do with that particular self-discipline. Now, through this particular process, a lot of us are doing it by ourselves.

And we've identified this particular struggle. The motivation is coming from within. And ultimately, we can start creating this negative self-talk in the back of our mind, where we're saying to ourselves, all right, so I need to learn this, I need to do this. Oh man, this is going to take me so much time. I don't think I've got the time to do all of this. And maybe it's the wrong script.

So what you start to create is this negative self-talk in the back of your mind. Now, as soon as you're starting to have this negative self-talk, ultimately it leads to talking yourself out of doing the actual activities. And it could be something as simple as learning the script. So what you need to do is you need to start becoming more. more aware of, hey, I'm talking in a negative way. I need to change that into positive. I can actually do this. I can actually learn this particular script in five minutes. And then I can actually go and speak to someone and you can actually find that if you start

with those little phrase, I can, I will. What you'll find is it starts to change that self-talk that's happening in the back of your mind. So make sure that as soon as you're getting to that point where you're starting to talk to yourself at a negative light and starting to talk yourself out of something that you actually say, hey, wait a minute, stop. Because it's that negative self-talk that becomes the catalyst to dropping your motivation. And ultimately, when your motivation drops, as I've said in the beginning, you're actually going to get to the point where you start to have all those struggles. So make sure that self-talk removes out. Now, what can also happen is you can be surrounded by a number of distractions.

And I've seen this so many times where individuals, they get this little motivation to say, right, I can see this opportunity. I've broken it down. I need to go and start learning this. But then what I need to do is I also need to start learning this because, wait a minute, this can help me with it. And then I need to start doing this. And ultimately what happens is we start taking a lot of distractions on our plate. distractions in the form of well this is much easier and what you need to start doing is you need to start identifying these particular actions

are they a distraction or are they moving closer to your goal because if it's not moving you closer to your goal it's a distraction so when you start writing down and I have this with a number of my clients and I say to them right so we've identified the goal we've broken down that particular opportunity let's see if there's any weakness in training and skills to try and build you up. Let's make sure that that self-talk is actually in the positive mode. Now, I want you to write down all of the actions that you can do to achieve that particular goal. And I want you to write between 15 and 20 of these particular actions.

So what they do is they go and they're write down all these actions and they're feeling really confident with themselves. And then I say to them, right, if we start looking at all of those particular actions, which one of them is moving you towards your goal, which one's moving your way. Because when you start writing down, you're actually what we call as doing a brain dump, all these ideas. And that's really sitting in your mind. And then you start to see, hey, wait a minute. Half of them are actually not related to achieving my particular goal. So we need to cross those particular ones out.

And the reason why we want to cross all those particular out is because those are what we call distractions. Now, once you start getting into that basis of having these particular distractions, well, it's just going to move you further and further away from achieving that goal, which then it starts to drop your motivation because you're not actually achieving the goal that you wanted to achieve. So you can see how everything starts to circle itself around. Now, many times, we're very focused on those particular activities and we might have about 15 activities. And this is fantastic because we've got so many. many ways that we can go out to achieve this particular goal. However, there is a bit of a negative to this because if we've got about 15 activities, it can actually start to feel overwhelming. There's actually just too much to do. So we've actually done a positive activity by identifying

the activities that we need to do. However, we now started to face too many activities and this actually starts to become overwhelming, we start to burn out. Now remember, we don't want to burn out. So what we typically do is we take that list and we say to ourselves, if we put this into an order of priority, if I could only do one of these particular activities, which would it do? Which would actually get me closer to that goal, which is the prioritise. And we do that priority and then we just work with one goal or one activity at a time that starts moving us closer and closer to that particular goal. And in doing that, we're actually starting to get rid of that overwhelming feeling that's around

us so that you're not getting to that point of burnout. It's just so, so important that yes, we've got these activities, but we're not doing all of them. We're suddenly in the morning, we've actually got to get through about 12 different activities in order to get closer to achieving that particular goal in life. and we don't want that. So you start to break everything down. Now, if you've seen what I've actually been sharing with you,

we've started with that lack of motivation to actually get up in the morning. We see that there's this, there's almost a struggle to get through. And through that struggle, we will identify these opportunities. And really identify these particular opportunities. We're then saying, right, I need to go out and do it. But we look at it to say, well, if I'm going to do it, What is the goal? And I'll start breaking that all the way down, having a look at that, right down to, well, what if I don't succeed?

Well, the only reason why you won't succeed is if you actually don't do that particular activity. Well, what do I need to get? Well, maybe there's a bit of a skills, there may be a bit of training, something that can start to bulge yourself up. You start getting yourself closer, getting that discipline in there, making sure that we eradicate all of that self-talk, that negative self-talk. that could actually put us right back to square one, looking at all these distractions that could come into it with all these activities that are around us that we could do but we shouldn't be doing them.

And we start to then get to that point where we start to identify those actions. And trust me, when you start seeing these little actions, you start looking at and going, well, is that all I need to do? And we put them into an order so that we don't feel overwhelmed. So this particular process is such a simple process yet most of us we actually don't know how to overcome that struggle, which then reduces all of those motivations. Now, once you've actually got to this particular point, having an action that you know what to do doesn't just give you that motivation to do it.

Sometimes it gives you a bit of inspiration that, hey, I want to get out there, I'm going to go. but it just doesn't give you that motivation at a high level. And one of the reasons why it doesn't give us that reason at a high level is we need to take this particular action as well as your goal and we need to tie this into your actual purpose. The reason why you're actually doing it. And this would be like an emotional connection. You see, we've got a goal to go and set up an appointment. Well, why is that goal so important to you? Why is it so important to set that particular appointment?

Well, if I set that particular appointment, I'll be able to get a potential listing. Well, why is it so important for you to get a listing? Well, if I get a listing, I'll be able to then potentially bring buyers through to view this particular property. Well, why is that so important for you? Well, if I get the right buyer, they'll put in an offer and they'll actually buy the property. Why is that so important for you? Well, if I sell that property, I'm going to start earning commission. Well, why is earning commission so important to you?

Well, if I'm earning commission, I could do something with my family or eradicate some debt. And what you'll go through is you asking yourself this question, overnote, why is it so important? And the answer, you just ask again and again and again. And ultimately, you're going to start getting to almost an emotional response, emotional answer, where it gives you this reason why. This becomes your purpose. And when you can start to identify that in your particular journey, what you're going to start seeing is, hey, this particular activity, if I actually just make this particular phone call, through this journey of appointments, listings, bio-viewings, closings, registrations and commission payouts, just by making this call, I could actually resolve the financial debt that I've got.

I could actually take my family on holiday that we've been speaking about for the last 8 to 10 years just by making that call. And when you can start tying those two together, it gives you a new life, a new level of energy. It gives you motivation because now you know why making that particular activity is so, so important for you. Now, what will start to happen is that negative self-talk always comes in because there are a number of steps. You may go and you make a particular phone call. And in making that particular phone call, you don't get that a particular appointment. So you make another phone call and you don't get an appointment. And you carry this on and on and on until you get to a point where you're going, it's not working.

these phone calls that I'm making are not working and this is where now that lack of motivation starts to kick back in the struggle starts to come back up again and ultimately if we follow that cycle that I shared with you maybe there's a lack of knowledge or a skill something that we need to mend in that particular process maybe one of the activities that we're actually doing is not the right activity so we need to move on to another activity

you. What we've got to start building within ourselves is this level of resilience against having all of these negative occurrences. They do happen. And when they happen, we need to learn from it. You see, as human beings, we don't like change. We like to do things and we like to repeat it in a comfort zone. And when it doesn't work, we want to give up. But what we should be doing is looking at it, learning from it and in fact making a change to start moving forward. And that's this resilience that we need to build within ourselves. We need to repeat the actual activities until we can identify the activities that are working for us. And we might need to make a few changes along the way.

And it's so, so important. Now, when you're going to these points where things are not working and you're just knocking your head against the wall. How do we overcome that? Well, doing it by ourselves becomes even a greater challenge. So we need to make sure that we have a support structure around us. You see, a support structure not only assists us in this particular journey of overcoming these particular challenges, but what they also do, the support structure indirectly actually hold you accountable.

And that's one of the most amazing things about this actual support structure is they're there to help you when you have those challenges so that you can actually speak with them and they give you new ideas. But by speaking to them, you're actually adding in a level of accountability because you're saying, I'm trying this, but it's not working. They say, well, why don't you try it this way? It works for me. So you go out and you try it again. That's this level of accountability. Now if you don't have a support structure around you, whether it's friends, family, colleagues in the same industry, you need to start to look to find these individuals. And trust me, there are many, many support structure individuals out there.

Find these people because they are there to help you. And they're not there as paid consultants to get you going. You can use a coach and a mentor, etc. But these type of individuals are there and they understand that connection to you and the reason why doing everything that you're doing is so important. So the support structure that I always start with is the close friends and family. It's the support structure that actually has a common goal, common values to you. Having those discussions with them, you know what, I got up in the morning and I made these call and it just didn't work. and they say, well, I know you can do it.

Tell me, what were you trying? Well, you're doing this. Well, why don't you try something like this? Listen to them, make those changes and then go out and try this over and over again. Your next level would then be going to mentors and coaches where you can start getting the next level of training and skills to help you when you can identify those weaknesses. So make sure that you are seeking the support that's around you to actually help you. in this particular journey. And one of the last points in all of this is you've actually got to be very mindful of your self-care.

You see, when you start getting to the levels of very low motivation, it can start hitting to levels of what we commonly call anxiety, stress. And all of those can actually start to affect you in a negative way on your health, on your relationships that are circling around you. So the importance of when you are finding that you cannot get up in the morning because of a low motivation and you just want to throw in the towel, go through the steps and everything that I've shared with you today and start to look at everything in a positive way that you can actually do it. But at the end, you need to be extremely mindful of who you are as an individual and the self-care that you're actually having within yourself. you need to make sure that you're replenishing that energy. If it means that maybe it's a dietary because you might not be eating right because low motivation means you're going to start possibly eating the wrong types of foods or not eating at all.

And you need to become aware of all of that because that's this energy that's going to start to come inside of you. And ultimately, when you start to recognize yourself in this self-care mode, it actually starts to generate what I like to refer to as long-term motivation. Because ultimately, you're going to start seeing, hey, I want to achieve this. I want to do this with my family. I want to do this with my friends. I want to do this or I want to actually experience something personally. And this gives you this long-term motivation that will actually help you to uplift you to a new level within your particular business as well as in your.

life. So when we actually reflect back on what I've covered today, it's actually motivating overcoming the motivational challenges that you have. And I know that each and every one of us, we experience this maybe once a week, once a month, but use this particular session that I've actually gone through. Use what I've shared with you to help you to build that particular motivation so that you can start to look forward so that you can actually have this long-term growth and prosperity that you ultimately want. Because when you get onto this path where you're actually got this motivation to do something, it creates something very special. It creates this inspiration inside of you to start inspiring the people around you.

And when you get to that point, you're going to see how motivation, you're going to see how motivation, becomes infectious. And you're going to basically be sharing this with so many people that it actually will then start to drive you to that inspirational person that you are. So I want to thank each and every one of you for coming on and listening to me today. It's been an absolute pleasure. I don't want you to fall into that hole. Make sure that your motivation is at the highest level

so that you can actually have huge amounts of success in your life.