KGCI: Real Estate on Air - How to have Positive Mindset when Thing Get Tough!

Episode Date: June 10, 2024

This is something that I've actually personally experienced and a lot of agents, a lot of clients have actually also they're experiencing this on an almost a regular basis, especially in the times that we are actually living in. And I thought it was appropriate to start digging into this. Now, what am I actually talking about? And it's really the basis of it is having that positive mindset when times are time. tough. You see, so often we actually, when times are tough, we just don't even get started on any particular journey. And I have this question that I typically ask my coaching clients, especially when I can see that their mindset is quite low. And I ask them this question of, have you ever given up or just not even started when this journey that's ahead of you is looking difficult? So

Have you ever given up or just not even started on a particular task or activity? Because that journey that head, it just looks difficult. And what we perceive into the actual future, in fact, has a huge impact onto us right now and today. And here's a little truth. You see, everybody deals with difficult circumstances. Nobody has that easy life. However, when you are going through life and you feel like you've got these difficult circumstances, you can actually start forming habits. You can build up new relationships that's going to help you to weather all of this that actually is ahead of you.

And the truth again is it actually doesn't matter who you are or what level you are in your career or your personal life. We all actually struggle with this. we all struggle with this this mindset when things are tough around us and really what I want to discuss today is how to overcome that because when you wake up in the morning and you look at your calendar and you suddenly go oh my gosh I've got to do X, Y and Z today and it really hits you in quite a hard space where you say well you know what I'm not feeling well so by not feeling well, I'm actually going to throw in the towel before I even start my day. And we've all been there, I've been there, but I want to share with you six tips that's

going to help you when you do come across these dark days and journeys that are ahead. And these six tips are very straightforward, very simple. And in fact, each one of you, when you actually start to internalize these tips, you're going to be saying, oh, I can do that. That's actually quite straightforward and simple. And of course, they're simple. But the big thing here is your commitment. You need to be committed to put it into action so that you can actually go forward.

So let's have a look at these different tips. And the very first one is many times we actually, when we start going on these particular journeys, we actually feel like a victim for some unknown reason. and feeling like a victim, we then start to just cower and just cuddle into the small little ball. So the very first tip is to actually empower yourself when you feel like a victim. And it sounds easy, but it is a bit of a challenge for you to start getting it into place. But when you know how, you can actually overcome this victim mentality that you might come through. So the first thing is, and this is a little saying that I actually have up on my wall,

when you feel good, you do good. So when you feel good, you do good. It's something that is just so true. You see, when you wake up in the morning and you feel on top of the world, you actually can do anything. But if you wake up in the morning and you're feeling down and low and you're looking ahead, you actually are going to start to not do things or do things in a shortcut method, which could end up in a bad way.

So what you need to start doing is you need to start empowering yourself with what you do to get that positive mindset so that you start to feel good. Now, there are three proven methods that you can do this to overcome this victim mentality. And the first one is what we say, practicing mindfulness. Now, mindfulness might sound something complicated, but in fact, it's something simple like doing prayers or meditation. You see, when we start to take that time to sit in a quiet corner, starting to internalize with positive thoughts. You'll always see that any form of meditation is always a positive self-talk in your mind,

whether you're listening to good music, that's relaxing you, taking you down to that calm space. Ultimately, when you come out of that meditation, if we uncalled, or that mindfulness session, you're going to start to feel good. So the first thing is when you start to feel like you're a victim, just take a moment and sit in a corner or find a place where you can actually then just to pray, meditate, something internalize. Now, I always say to clients,

make sure that you've got a strong affirmation, always with you all the time, one that's going to actually give you that boost when you actually just need it. So the first one to get out of it is that practicing that mindfulness. Now the next two, they actually work together because they are, the first of the two, is practicing gratitude and the second is serving others. Practicing gratitude is something that is just so, so powerful. When you feel like a victim, the easiest way is to actually look for someone and actually practice that gratitude.

give them those warm feelings that you have. It might be the last bit of energy that you have inside of yourself, but if you actually start to practice that gratitude to others, ultimately what happens is you're going to start to feel good. And that's one of the keys here. So you're going to start to feel good and amazing that energy starts to come inside of you and it starts to grow. The second one is serving, well, the third one, the last one is serving others.

And serving others is helping others. It's working with others. It's being that servant and really giving what you've got to other people. And ultimately, when you're doing that, it actually gives you this new life of energy. Now, I'm not referring to serving others that's actually taking away your energy. It's got to have a level that's actually embodying you to be stronger at the end of it. So the very first tip today is empower yourself when you feel like a victim. It is so, so important.

So tip number one, empower yourself when you feel like a victim. Use these three little methods. The first one is practicing that mindfulness like meditation. The second is practicing the gratitude, giving it to others. And the third is then serving others. And by doing that, the underlying. And I go back to that quote, when you feel good, you do good. So that's the very first one to actually help you through.

And if you actually just have that particular little quotes, written up somewhere, it's actually, give you that little mindfulness of going, oh, right, okay, so I'm not actually feeling the best at the moment. I need to feel good. What can I do? And you can do the meditation. You can give gratitude and you can serve others.

So that's tip number one. Tip number two. And tip number two is something that each and every one of you, especially because we're in an industry that we build relationships on an ongoing basis, what we need to do is we need to make sure that we are consistently surrounding ourselves with the right people. And really, when we surround ourselves with the right people,

ultimately what we're doing is we're actually overcoming the low points in our life. And the reason why I share this particular one and make reference to the low points in our life is a lot of us have personal struggles. And we feel like we're on an island having those personal struggles. We're the only person in the world that has that particular struggle. When you surround yourself with the right people, ultimately, and you start to share the relationships between each other, having open conversations, what you actually get to realize is you're not alone. There are other people that are actually have the same struggles as yourself. And when you can actually share those struggles, those particular challenges, you're going to.

start saying, hey, wait a minute, but I've actually tried this and it's helped me. And they're going to say, well, I've also tried this and it's helped me. You see, when you surround yourself with the right people, those low points start to elevate because what you get to realize is you're not doing it alone. You've got a group of people around you. Now, it's important that the people that you surround yourself are positive people. The last thing you want to do is to surround yourself with negative people. And the negative people will basically take your low points and they will push you below that. So it's very, very important that when you are surrounding yourself, the key word that is positive people. So make sure that you identify them. You speak to them. You find out their struggles. You share your

struggles. You have those communications. And in fact, you start talking about the solutions to the challenges that you're currently facing. And what you're going to find it's going to start to elevate you up. So when you're actually waking up in the morning and you're looking down that road and thinking, oh my gosh, I don't think I can actually do it. And you start sharing that with the positive people that are surrounding you, you suddenly realize, hey, wait a minute, I'm not alone. There's actually a few people that have having the same struggle. So what can we do? Well, why don't we all do it together? And this is how the people that surround you can actually help you, lift you and take you forward on this particular journey.

So the second tip is surrounding yourself with those positive, positive people, absolutely critical. The third tip that I want to share with you is a little bit of a challenging tip because it's a tip whereby you need to reflect on yourself and you need to recognize this. Now, what am I referring to? Well, the third tip is it's breaking these limiting beliefs that you have in your life. we can have limiting beliefs about how successful we can become. We have limiting beliefs about how much money we can make. We have limiting beliefs about ourselves, about what we can actually physically or mentally do. And ultimately, we need to recognize what is that limiting belief and recognize that it is only a limiting belief.

So when you actually wake up and you say, hey, I actually want to go for around 10 kilometers, we want to go. for this run and you think, oh, that's too far. That's, I'm going to suffer with my heart. I'm going to suck. See, this is the limiting belief coming in because we'll start to create these excuses. These excuses, guess what? They will prevent us from actually going ahead on that particular journey.

So we need to identify what those limiting beliefs are. And there's an easy technique that you can use. When you come to doing something and immediately your internal self-talking, talk suddenly goes, I don't think we can do that. I want you to write it down what you were wanting to do. So if you said to yourself, you know what, I actually want to go out and I want to sell 10 properties a month. And suddenly your internal mind says 10 properties. There's no ways you can do 10 properties. You write down, I want to sell 10 properties a month. By writing that down, what you're actually doing is you're actually almost really.

programming that little self-talk, that subconscious mind, to go, I actually don't really care what you're saying, because that is what I want to do. And I'm actually going to go out and I'm actually going to do it. And you're actually going to start pushing, thinking of the activities that needs to happen. Instead of going, oh, 10 properties, I can't do 10 properties, which means I can't go on any appointments, which means I can't make any calls, which means I just need to stay in bed for the rest of the week. And that's how this victim mentality can actually jump into you. So it's breaking that limiting belief. You need to identify it first. Once you can identify it, write down what that activity or what that goal, what that milestone is so that you can

actually start to reframe and reprogram your brain to start working in more of a positive sense forward. So the third tip today is break that limiting belief. You don't have those limiting beliefs. It's what I can do, but more importantly, not what I can do today. It's what I can do potentially in three to five years. So that's what you need to obviously overcome. So tip three, break that limiting belief that everything has. The fourth tip, and it's something that unfortunately we all do. And it's something that we get brought up from youth and young age to compare. ourselves to other. And this is something that we need to stop doing this all the time.

When we start comparing ourselves to other people, ultimately what happens is, oh my gosh, they can do that. They're much better than me. By comparing yourself, you actually start to put yourself back into that hole. That positive mindset starts to then disappear. So stop comparing yourselves to somebody else.

Remember, you are unique, you are an individual. And there is nobody on this planet that is the same as you. Even if you're a twin, you may look the same, but you've got different habits. You've got different morning and afternoon and evening routines. That's going to make you a different individual. So the fourth tip today is stop comparing yourselves to others. And just look at yourself as the most powerful person that you've ever met. and ever come across.

And you're going to feel good. And guess what? You're going to start doing good. So tip number four, stop comparing yourself to others. Because as soon as you start doing that, ultimately, you start to put these walls and barriers around you. Now, the fifth tip is one that's going to go a little bit more deeper. And it's really, it's understanding the psychology of peak performance. Now, what I mean by peak performance, if we look at any top athletes, whether they're running a sprint or a marathon, maybe they're swimming a distance in a certain time, or maybe they're actually a salesperson achieving a very high level of achievement.

You see, they're at what we refer to at a peak performance in their career and in their life. And what we need to do is we need to understand the psychology that goes behind it. You see, this is something that just doesn't happen overnight. We all just assume that we can wake up in the morning and be a top performing individual. And unfortunately, the truth of it is, it's the activities that we're actually going through. So when we start to understand the psychology of what it requires to be a top performance, at a peak performance, we start going on a journey where we're going to come across certain levels of failure. We will try something and it doesn't work.

Now, at a peak performance, we understand that failure is a lesson in life. When we don't understand peak performance, failure becomes the norm in our life. And that becomes fearful. So ultimately, we need to learn that failure is that lesson in life. And this is what we're going to go through. So when you actually have these different setbacks, it's a lesson. What do I learn? You'll bounce back from it so that you can then start to go forward.

And when you start doing that, you're going to start creating what we refer to as a strong mental fitness. And a strong mental fitness is when you have a failure, you see it as a positive, not as a negative. and that is something that peak performing top athletes get to understand. They get taught that the strong mental fitness, anything that happens on a negative platform, failure, anything like that, in fact, it is positive. They will learn from it how they become stronger so that they can move forward. So understanding the psychology of peak performance,

The tip number five is look what it takes to be at the highest level. And in that particular journey, anything that's regarded as a failure, anything that is a stumbling block in front of you, it's a lesson to learn and it's a positive lesson. When you can change your mindset around that, you're going to start to move forward. And ultimately, when you do that, you're going to start to maintain that focus.

The focus is not going to be on the failure, focus is going to be on the goal. You know where you're wanting to go. You're going to have such an extreme focus, an acute focus on that particular goal. Anything that happens in front of you, you learn from it, you get back up and away you go. So make sure that you actually can understand that psychology that failure is in fact a lesson in life. And it is something positive to make you a stronger individual in going forward. So, so very important. Now, the sixth tip that I want to share with you, and it's something that we do so often. And we have these negative internal self-talks.

And we could also be around and having conversations with people. So the words that we actually say, we've got to be very careful. Why? Because if we have the negative self-talk and the words coming out of our mouth is at a negative connotation or any kind of abage that's negative, it creates a negative response back to you from whoever you're speaking to. So the tip number six is you need to learn how to reframe your intra reactions, whether they're internal or whether they're external. And ultimately, to simplify that, it's converting all the negative talk to positive talk.

It's taking any particular low and it's making it a high. You see, by doing this, we're actually then having that positive attitude and that positive mindset. And it's that positive mindset that's going to start to make us to feel good. And when we've got that feel good, guess what? The challenge that's up ahead of us, we're actually excited for it. We actually wake up in the morning and we go, I cannot wait to trip onto my knees. I cannot wait to run through that glass. I cannot wait to achieve that Northern Star.

I cannot wait to hit that outcome that I ultimately desired because every journey that we go through, it's not an easy journey. If it was an easy journey, everybody would be doing it. The journeys are always a challenge. And that challenge is what we need to overcome. You see, when you have that positive mindset, When you look at that journey ahead, it actually becomes so much easier. It's something that you can actually wake up in the morning and go,

I can do this every single day. Now, I want to end with something that is a, call it a bonus coaching tip. And ultimately what this does is it helps you to gain clarity when you're going through these particular journeys. because as much as you're waking up in the morning and you want to go ahead and be positive and do all these particular activities, you may not even know what the end goal is. You could actually have a cloud a junior head, which makes it even harder. So this little bonus coaching tip that I want to share with you is really one that will take you what we call goal setting to the now. And it really, it removes any form of logic that's going to be holding you back when you're actually thinking big about your particular goals. You see, if we think of saying, I want to do 10 transactions a month, and we've only done one every second month, that becomes almost unrealistic.

But if we take that 10 goals and say, in year five, I've been. I want to be doing 10 transactions every single month. And you start thinking and planning to your five-year goal. That is what I'm wanting to do. Every month, I want to do 10 transactions every single month. I then start breaking that back and I think to myself, right, what are the activities that I would need to do in order to achieve that particular goal? And I would write everything down.

I'm thinking big. I'm not thinking what I'm going to do today. I'm going to think what I'm going to do over the next five years. I need to do X amount of appointments. I need to do X amount of calls. I need to do X amount of work. And you write all of that down. I then take that information and I start to break it down.

Well, what would I need to do if I wanted a hit in three years, maybe seven transactions every single month? In one year, I want to do four transactions every single month. What are those activities? Now, because you have thought big on the activities that's required to actually achieve 10 activities in a month, you're going to be knowing the activities that you're going to be doing every single day, which now helps you to remove that cloudy journey that's lying ahead. What you're going to be seeing is this nice clear path on what needs to be done. And anything that's going to be in your way, well, that's just an obstacle that actually is for you to learn if it's something that you're

you trip over. Well, I can change. I can amend. But ultimately, you're going to start to head in that particular calendar, in particular direction. And what this is going to start doing is it's breaking it down to what you need to do in a year, what you need to do in six months, three months, one month, one week. You're starting to break it down into smaller and smaller and smaller activities right down to what you should be doing every single day. And it's what you're doing every single day is what you should then be putting into your calendar, holding yourself accountable to that particular calendar, so that nothing actually disrupts you. So when you wake up in the morning and you go, it's going to be tough in this journey that lies ahead,

well, guess what? I've just given you six powerful tips to help you through overcoming the mindset to get into a positive state. But because you know exactly what you're going to be doing, you're going to actually have an additional level of purpose and drive to actually go forward. So that's one of the big things that I wanted to share today was how to actually overcome that positive mindset that's required when that journey that lies ahead is so, so challenging. So that's really what we wanted to cover today. And I'm hoping that you're actually going to start waking up every day going, let's just do it. This is Stuart signing off until next time. Keep it simple, keep it real, and let's rise together.

Remember, in the face of adversity, your resilience is your greatest strength.