KGCI: Real Estate on Air - More Isn't Always Better

Episode Date: June 24, 2025

All right, welcome back to the high performance agent podcast. I'm your host, Tina Belavow and I am here with Laura Malick. And we are here to unpack this topic of more is not better. And Laura and I have bonded over this topic. And it's something that has kind of woven its way through our businesses, especially in the last few years. So, Laura, I think like I'm just going to share a little bit of my personal perspective on this first. And then I love you to jump in wherever you want to start. So I think for me, I've had, and if you've listened to my very first episode of the podcast, I share a lot of my

kind of personal story as it relates to business of my journey with this topic of more is not better. So that's like a good recommendation as like a follow up for anyone that wants to hear more about this. And I think what's so interesting to me about this topic is that more isn't bad, like the pursuit of more is what I'm saying. But it isn't always better. And I feel like for me, there is such a paradox that early on in the beginning and middle chapters of my real estate career, I was in the pursuit of more. That's kind of in my internal wiring as a person to always go for more and more. Also, because I didn't have any other intuitive yardstick of what success. would really look like in my business. So more money, more transactions, and maybe not even more

money, but more profit. And then it was about having more time. And I think what's such the paradox for me is that my pursuit of more gave me so much of what I have today. I grew my production to a level where I could build a team. I achieved things that were very public and gave me a ton of credibility, that then opened doors for opportunities that led me to the things that I'm doing today. So on one hand, more afforded me so much, the journey of more. And then on the other, it really chipped away at my spirit in a lot of ways. And I think real estate is such a difficult industry in particular because it's a seven day a week business for most people in most markets. So it can really just take a lot from you and rob other parts of your life. And that is really

what I woke up to at the end of 2019. And interestingly, I was still kind of okay at the time with what it was robbing from the other areas of my life because I was so blind to it and conditioned to it. But really what caused me to pause was realizing that I was in like a super, super super toxic work environment. And that was what really kind of slapped me awake to pause and reevaluate everything. And then since then, it's been over four years now. I've been in this other space of more is not better. But I will say I've had the luxury of not resting on my laurels, but resting on the foundation that I did build for so long and then to really focus on the quality of my life. And ideally, I wouldn't have lost so much in the process as far as like peace of mind

and pieces of myself that I gave away or at times like put myself in the line of fire in pursuit of more. So, and I'm also not like really big on regrets. But I think there's just such a there's just something to having experience and perspective and looking back. And I think I wouldn't change my journey, but it is really important to me today to hold that truth of more is not better for me anymore, first and foremost. That was a lot. A lot to impact. But I like the last part that you just said that like, there's no regrets, but it's a journey. And I think it's a journey that you, everyone has to go on. But I also don't think that there's enough conversations about this that like if you're not listening to this podcast or someone's not, you know,

pouring into you, you can get stuck in that more, more, more phase in unhappiness and not know how to fix it. Yeah. And I think it's such like a, I guess I want to say vicious cycle, but I don't want to speak so negatively of it, but I feel like that's the best phrase I could use for it of in my pursuit of more, I was drawn to people who affirmed that thought process. So those were the environments and the mentors that I sought out. And I think that, there's just an underbelly to it, which is basically what you're alluding to. And I think our industry is just so susceptible to kind of the glitz and the glam and the money and the like viral, you know, Instagram reels with the, I was like, I got lost in an Instagram whole of some like woman who has like

fancy cars and hundreds of pairs of shoes and a vanity license plate about real estate. And I was like, oh my God. Like it's just, I think like this industry, anything where there's like a lot of financial opportunity and then really like ego inflation opportunity, it's very easy to lose sight of what really matters. And I sometimes look at those things and maybe I feel a little judgy, but it's actually a little bit more of a stab in the gut of, you know, I had my own version of that of pursuing ego and preserving my ego, preserving the ground that I had given.

gained to avoid losing it or losing face. And then it can just become a trap, a treadmill, a painful way to live your life. Yes. I think you asked an important question the other day out to like your audience and following of like if you were to start, you know, real estate over like what would you tell yourself? And whenever I hear that question, I always know it's, I wish that someone would have told me like how to define success for myself instead of looking outwardly and letting the brokerage tell me how many sales I should have or trying to have, you know, sell more houses. Like I was always looking at what are you doing? Should I be doing that? And I also think like this success is like is a, is a big word that we can actually really break down to like what does success just look like today? Like we both

talked about our days. What does success look like this week? What does success look like this month or this quarter? I know you and I really live in seasons. is like it can look a lot different. Like success is not defined and set in stone. And I wish that I would have had that mindset and really brought it inward because that's where you create that happiness when you're like, well, what feels good to me? Yes. And I had two different thoughts come to mind as you were saying that.

So the first thread that I want to follow is you mentioned that post I put up the other day. And I just said to people like if you have a magic wand and you could go back to the beginning of your career, what would you tell yourself? And I put my own thoughts in the caption and then so many people piled on with really thoughtful comments. And one of the trends in a lot of people's comments was find your people, find your tribe, find, you know, really curating and cultivating the people around you who have what you want. And I think that that is a huge piece of, I think I didn't do that in the first half of my

career. I was young, too. I was in my 20s, and I just kind of ended up where I ended up. And I didn't have as much agency, no pun intended, in my mind of being like, I'm going to go seek out the best environment for me, the best brokerage. Like, I kind of hung out at like an old school brokerage for a really long time and like a financial arrangement that didn't make sense. And I was just there because I was there. And then at some point, I kind of woke up and said, hey, like, I need to really create the circles I want to be in. I need to define what I want. I need to understand that I bring a lot of value to the table and to not be shy about that. I think like even just selecting brokerages and stuff like that, I kind of ended up in my second

brokerage because someone just casually recruited me and it was better than where I was. But there was no like research or thought process into it. And I feel like the world is, the brokerage world has changed a lot, even. since then I'm talking like the early 2010s. But I think giving yourself permission to really dictate who you want to seek out and emulate and have in your world because it has such an impact on mindset and just sort of what we absorbed from one another. Yeah, 100%.

And you said before too, like, you know, not trying to say more is not better, but like that more is better to you. And that is that seat and then you want to hustle. then go be in that environment and find those that are doing it at a level that you want. And if you want to find moms who are nailing it in real estate and having a really good time of being there for their kids and hitting their goals of bringing an income in, find those moms in real estate. Like you really just nailed it there. It's like find your people because you're going to find that happiness too because they're doing

business the way that you want to do business. Yeah. And having people to listen and just be there for you because I feel like the journey of entrepreneurship and real estate does have such like a personal. impact. It's, again, because of, I think, the nature of the business and just what it feels like to be in sales, to work a relationship-centric business. There's no way that it doesn't just have sort of like a personal impact. So having places to like process that and not like hold all of that alone, I feel like is really, really helpful. And that's kind of along the lines of what you were

just saying. The other thread that I wanted to follow is you were like, what is, you know, maybe instead of worrying about what success looks like forever or big picture or what a success look like this month, this week, or even today. And that's the other thread of something you and I talked about when we picked this topic is this idea of holding your goals loosely and giving yourself a lot of permission to change them and evolve them as life unfolds in the very unpredictable way that life unfolds. And I think you and I have experienced that always, but I think we both felt that very keenly last year in 2023 as our family and personal lives unfolded in a way that impacted our businesses in ways that I think I'll speak for myself

and I would love to hear your thoughts in prior iterations of my business. I would have been way more bent out of shape and frustrated by the roadblocks. And I still was a little bit, but I was able to really have a much healthier perspective and sense of patience and compassion with myself, that things just needed to be tweaked in my mind and holding the goals a lot more loosely. So I don't know if you want to speak to that and a little bit of your journey with that last year, but I feel like we should really talk about that. Yeah, I have the same. And I think when, you know, you set your kind of goals or how you think life is going to look and then something happened that you weren't expecting and what need, like,

I needed to show up for my family a lot more than what I have. had intended and I knew I had less hours for work. And like you said, I think it's always going to be like a kind of a gut punch. Like, oh, because you know, you're really excited about it. You wanted to do it. But then I've just really taken it in that like this is just a season of life and it's not now. It's just not yet. And so just because I closed a door on an opportunity that I really wanted last year, I was like, this is just not the right timing. It doesn't mean that I can't have it next year or in five years or in 10 years. But this is where my time is best spent. And it really just helped me feel comfortable with that decision as I closed that door. I love everything you said. And I wrote down the words not yet as you

said them. And I think for me, that's given me so much peace of mind. In fact, we kind of touched on that in our last episode where we talked about goal execution and how I have all of my not yet's kind of mapped out, at least the big ones that would give me heartache to put on a shelf and feel like, am I ever going to get to that? And just understanding, I say this a lot, like, I have the rest of my life to work. I mean, I'm not going to work forever, but it's like to let go of this ridiculous sense of urgency that it needs to happen now or never. Like, I'm going to be working for a while longer at least. So for now, there's just always going to be more time to chase new things, start new projects, start new collaborations, chase new ideas. But I don't want

that phomo to run my life to the point where I put so much on my plate that I'm chipping away at my soul again because I can't tend to myself. I can't tend to my husband, my kids, my parents, my key friendships, my health, my spirituality. Like, there's a lot of other things to fit into my day besides business. And that is why. I also don't believe in an eight-hour work day, but that might be a whole other topic. But like, there isn't room for all of that, at least the way, the way I feel of how my days look. It's, it's not always realistic to have it be so work-centric. Well, and I think sometimes, like, with the whole, it's hard for us to have delayed gratification.

And like you said, kind of the fomo, like, you're seeing other people hit maybe like the peak of mountain that you want to hit now. But, like, we actually don't know how long it took them to get there. And they always say, like, even if it takes you longer than what you expected it thought it would, once you're there, like, are you regretting it? Absolutely not. And so like I stick with that too that I'm like, I do want life to look a certain way or I want this. And now I've come to like, okay, kind of going back to the episode that we did previously too, how can I just move the needle to keep getting closer to it so that I feel good and allowing it to happen when all the timing is right. And if it takes one year, great. And if it takes three years, like if it's, like, if it's, my favorite to look backwards. Like how far have I come in five years? I'm always like, wow, I've come so far. And so when you look backwards a lot more, it helps you to be like, okay with the future, knowing it it's a little slow and you don't know what's yet to come. But I also think that's the beauty of it. Yeah. And I think a lot of what you're saying just falls into this

category of having perspective. And I think it's a lot easier to have perspective about the past than the now or the future, although some people I think are very visionary about the future. But I think about most of the agents that I've coached and consulted over the years, it's just so easy for all of us to be caught up in the now because it's right here. We're feeling it. We're experiencing it. We're living it. And it can be very easy to forget how long it takes to really get somewhere big. And I think there's this supercharged complication in all of our lives of social media. And I've been thinking about this a lot. I mean, I think anyone who is, you know, frequent user of any social media platform. We all understand that in a way it's very bad for us, that we, you know, see things that make us jealous. I'll speak for myself. I see things that make me jealous at times. I, a lot of the time, and it's funny, you know, I'm in the middle of doing a dream house renovation. We bought a home and we are doing a big project. And I'm looking at all of these accounts for inspiration. But it's funny, I'm like, you know, if I didn't see any of this,

I wouldn't want any of it because I wouldn't know it existed. And then I wouldn't feel worried about whether I have inset cabinetry in my kitchen or not. And I know that might sound silly, but I think it really applies. It's not silly for me. Like, I've really thought, wow, like if I hadn't spent as much time looking at all of this stuff, my scope of my project would be more reasonable. And I can apply that to all of my my business stuff too, is if I spend too much time looking at other people's achievements and what they're doing, it can veer into that territory of comparing my now to their, I love that iceberg analogy, which is what you were basically describing of like when you see someone's accomplishment, you don't always see

the many years of groundwork that went into it. So I think it's just a little bit of like a thing for me to be really keenly aware that as much as I love using social media as a tool to learn, crowdsource, connect, inspire myself. I need to stay present of mind that at the same time it's influencing me in a lot of ways that are not super conscious to me, but it's like happening and it's happening all the time. And that's why it's really important for me to stay really in tune with like, wait, what is it that really matters in my life? What matters to me is having peace in my soul to feel good about how I handled myself at night when I put myself to sleep and like, was I good to the people who matter today? Was I present? Was I the kind of mom

that I want to be everything else? And are you happy? Yeah. And maybe not always, I think like being happy can be a little bit circumstantial, but am I at least like living in alignment with with who I want to be? and I'm, yeah, I'll stop there. Do you know it's helped me with the, with the comparison? So it's like a two parts. So I know it's like a friendly reminder, but I always like pass this on to my kids too. Like all the lessons and everything that we're learning as being business owners, I just think that it made me just an incredible mom because I pass on all the lessons.

Like it's all relevant. And so the one like when they're just getting started, you know, in a sport and like they're comparing themselves to somebody who, you know, is better or has more years. I talk about the book analogy, you know, like you're starting in chapter one. They're on their, you know, chapter 15. Like, you just have to go. And it actually brings up a funny story. I tied my daughter's shoe and I tied it really fast. And she goes, wow, mom, you're really fast at tying shoes. How did you get so fast? And I was like, well, I've been doing it for 35 years. But it was like, it was cute to share that because, you know, she's comparing and she's thinking she's slow.

And I'm not any better than her. I've just had more experience. But I just wanted to to share that story, but what really changed my mindset of like, you know, when you're looking at what other people maybe have or what they're doing and you want that, there's like something like that we want for our family. Like we want the bigger backyard with the pool. That's something that we want that we don't have. And I kind of started putting like pressure on myself of like, you know, we need this now. We need this now. Like my kids are getting older. And it was interesting because last year I was very fortunate, but my parents took my whole family and my sister's whole family on an all-exclusive or all-paid by them trip to Hawaii. And it really changed my mindset that my dad was still providing awesome

memories for me at almost the age of 40. I'll be turning 40 this year. That it's okay if I'm not able to have that big pool for the backyard for them right now at age 10. And maybe I won't get it. But what if I get it when they have the grandkids and that's where the home. spot is. And so sometimes, like, it may just, the journey may just, like, look different. It doesn't mean that you can't have it or that you won't have it. It just means if it's really important to you, you just need to work at it and allow, you know, the time and the effort to make that goal happen. Oh, there's so much wisdom in what you said. And I think the thing that I feel so deeply is I think it's so human. And then especially in our industry, it's so common to want a little bit of a

magic wand. Like, when I have this, then I'll feel this way. And I'm when I accomplished this, or if I just sell this many more homes, then I can have the pool. And like, some of that is true, right? Like there's math to money and finances and production. And that's all great. But two things I've learned. One, the things that I'm chasing have not always brought me the happiness that I thought they would. And I think that's what I was trying to say at my like intro in this episode of like, when I was chasing all of that so hard, there was, there were times of joy and pride and accomplishment. And at the same time, I was surprised by how fleeting the feelings were. And I wouldn't say I felt empty, but there was some emptiness to it of I didn't have a

stronger vision of what I wanted to cultivate in my life overall. And it's funny, like you said, you're not big on regrets. And I'm not big on regrets. I am big on lessons. And I think for whatever reason, like, I had to have that process of chasing outside things to some degree for a while to understand, like, there's that wisdom of outside things don't generally change how we feel on the inside. Like, I could have told you that at that time. But for me, I needed to go through that to come to some level of like understanding for myself, like, well, what is it that I really want on the inside? Because I think I wasn't sure. And I had to kind of live that roller coaster and come out on the other side in a timeline that

I wish could have been a bit shorter. And again, a little less destructive to my soul at times of like how much I put into my work. You actually said something to me right there when you said you wish that learning curve would have been shorter. And I actually said that to you. And but now it will be like you learned that lesson. Like it doesn't matter the length that it took you to learn that lesson. Like that now I know it.

done for you, now you know it. And so like when something like that comes up, you are good. So like, just want to remind you of the wisdom that you gave me is that like, don't be focused on that part. Now you have that tool and it's going to just benefit you from here on out. Yeah, absolutely. And I think, yeah, I just totally agree. And I'm at the point now where that lesson is so ingrained that like I'm so clear on what my boundaries are and where I will and won't spend my time. And it can feel a little bit limiting at times because there's a lot that I say no to. And there's a lot that I'm like, I would have left that five years ago. But no, I don't need to, you know, I could fill in a thousand blanks as examples for you. Foundries actually give me a lot of

freedom, even though at times I feel like they limit me. They really empower me. It's just, it's still a muscle that I'm developing. Going back to like the lesson in it taking longer, I also feel like you, we just weren't feeling enough pain. Like that's why, So I know a lesson took me two years, but the reason why I made change was because it got really painful. And I was like, oh, like, this is not working and something needs to change. So I think that's also, it's not like you weren't, and I'm speaking for myself, it's not like I wasn't paying attention or I didn't know about it, but there also just wasn't enough friction and pain for me to say, hey, I need to pay attention to this and I need to adjust and change. And then when that happened,

that's when I was like, oh, this is what this was trying to teach me. And now I'm going to take all these tools and improve it and, you know, master it from there. Yeah, it's so funny you say that because I learned that lesson when I was 17, actually, when I was getting sober. And this person in my life told me, she was like, the pain just wasn't great enough until now. And at the time, I was like, oh, it was like a major truth bomb. And I think about that a lot with, you know, my time when I was running a Keller Williams office and having a lot of recruiting appointments, I would meet with four to six agents a day most weekdays. So I met with thousands of agents and did like analyses on their business and, you know, people would sit down and most of the time like really open up to me

and tell me what was going on. And I noticed there was this trend of how quickly people made changes in their business when things really weren't working. And it's the personal threshold for pain. And when the pain gets great enough, we will make a change. And for some people, it can just be a little bit of discomfort. And for some people, they will stick through the most insane, toxic situations for way too long and come around to it at like a far further timeline. And I think if I look at all of the pain points I've experienced in my business, my my threshold for pain can kind of vary depending on the context. So for me, a big part of my personal growth in the last few years has been really having more love and compassion for myself to say, you know what?

Like, I don't need to withstand as much as I thought I did in the name of being like honorable or keeping my word or extremely understanding, like overly understanding, overly responsible. So I would say that's really been my growth edge in the last few years is I think I had a lot of work to do of tuning into and really listening to my inner voice in a much more empowered way. Yes. I love that. I actually read something very interesting today from James Clear. I get his newsletter. It's very interesting.

But like how you were talking about kind of like the comparison, but then also like giving yourself the love and compassion like, you know, more inward. Like we're always outward and more inward. And when you really just focus on what makes you happy, instead of being so worried about what other people are doing or thinking that other people are watching you because they're not. They're thinking about themselves. But he was like, stop, you know, just spending time looking at everyone else's posts and watching other people and listening to other people's, you know, ideas.

He's like, go have the coffee with a friend. Go make something. Go outside. He's like, how do you want to spend your hours? You know, I love yourself for that because that's what you're choosing to do. Like, it's your choice and love that you get to make that choice. Honestly, Laura, I feel like that's the perfect note to end on. Because I, it's so true.

Like, yeah. And I feel like this episode came out a little differently than I had it in my mind's eye. But I think like there's this deeper work of caring, like giving, I'll speak for myself again, giving myself permission to care for myself. and I think in this capitalistic hustle culture that I ingrained myself in, it is so counterintuitive to do what you just said, he said, to just stop working and go outside and take a walk. One of the best things about me working from home and having little kids is like, I just end up downstairs. My office is upstairs. So I just end up downstairs a lot randomly throughout the day, hugging them, eating lunch.

I eat lunch with my toddler most days. And it's like all my day is infused with these pauses that if if I didn't have them, I would just be at my computer or like running and go, go. So I think there's just something happening for me of like deprogramming myself from hustle culture, which I signed up for. So it's like not a victim thing for me. But I victimized myself by being so deep in that that. that I really lost the ability to hear my intuition and my inner voice in a way that,

like, I don't ever want to go back. And then I think there's this really crazy thread for me that I don't talk about very much of how much social media can play into that. So that's just, that's where I'm at today. So that's my like messy in the middle growth curve with self-compassion and having really healthy perspective on myself and what I'm doing and not doing and why. Mike drop. Mic drop. So that, I don't know. Anything we want to add?

Are we just done here? We'll talk to everybody next week. I mean, I think you nailed it right there. And the biggest thing is we're not necessarily. I think things are evolving and changing and we're understanding how it's so important to look inward. I just don't think the conversations we're having enough. And so if you're nodding your head when listening to this and you're feeling this

and then you don't like, well, how do I start? How do I start with self-compassion or how do I, you know, let go of this, you know, comparison. I think it just comes back to kind of, you know, self-growth and like pay attention to where that friction is or where you're not happy and start looking inward and just make a commitment to a self-love journey. Thank you. I'm like glad you brought that to like, and what do you do with all of this? Because I was going to just leave it all there in a in a pile for everybody. And I think the other thing that I would say is I know that there's like a fair amount of people who listen to these episodes and I don't converse as much with people.

because podcasting is such an interesting platform, right? Like, I love it because it's just out there in the world, but I don't get the feedback as much. So I just want to say for anyone that hasn't done it yet, I run this Facebook group and Laura is a heavy collaborator in it as well. It's called Relationship Driven Real Estate with Tina Beliveau in Facebook. It's a bit of a mouthful. The link is always in the show notes so you can just find it there. We would love to follow up on this conversation with anyone who wants to take it to a deeper level.

reflect on it as it relates to themselves and share in like a closed group environment and like kind of have that conversation. So that would be my invitation this week is come join the conversation in the group and let's support each other with having this like healthy perspective, self love, self compassion and giving up comparing because it's so unproductive.