KGCI: Real Estate on Air - Standards In Business and Life

Episode Date: May 21, 2025

Hi and welcome to Let's Talk About Real Estate Podcast, the podcast for real estate agents absolutely everywhere. I'm Lisa B, and during this podcast, we're going to be talking about everything real estate. What's working, what's not working? AI, automation, technology, EXP Realty, and absolutely everything to do with real estate. I'll have guest speakers as well where we'll answer your questions from the Facebook group, let's talk about real estate. So if you haven't joined the Facebook group, make sure you do that now. And we'd be happy to help answering any question. And again, welcome to the show.

This is Lisa B from Let's Talk About Real Estate Podcast. Welcome to all of our listeners and to our very special guests who I'll announce in a moment. Let's talk about Real Estate Podcasts is featured on Spotify, Apple Music, Overcast, Stitcher, Lib Sin, YouTube. And now we are featured on ExPs Radio Station and Podcasts based in the US. And that's called KGCI Real Estate on Air. So welcome and to all the real estate agents in America and around the world that are listening and we are very excited that you're joining us. So our podcast has potential to reach hundreds of thousands of real estate agents. EXP has 89,000 agents in 24 countries. And yes,

so we have a lot of potential to reach a lot of people, which is great. So now for our special guest, today I have Judy May Murphy joining me all the way from London. So Judy May is an international speaker who has spoken on stages with the best of the best. She's been at the top of a game for the last 24 years. She's a personal coach to many experts and business people, well-known business people, and entertainment in the entertainment world as well. So welcome Judy Mae Murphy to the show. Great to see you, Lisa B. You too. Thank you so much for joining us. So today we're going to be talking about why non-business standards matter so much in business. So, and to give a bit of context in what we'll be talking about.

So we've all seen, like, say, AI produce photography where, you know, you see somebody and they look completely different to the way they look in real life. They might have, you know, very, you know, very well dressed, you know, very muscular or look 10 years younger or something like that. And we know that it's not real, you know, and something that may be an argument that they had with their spouse the night before might not affect the way that they're viability. or the way that other people are going to sort of see them. And it might be somebody who's gambling,

you know, they might not think that those gambling habits are affecting their life. And, you know, nobody's going to know that they're doing that. So Judy May, you're going to be helping us today talk about how having high non-business standards are going to help bring business success. So you and I talk about business probably once a week, I would say. We talk about health, business, magic moments, whether it's sunrises, sunsets, emotions.

We talk about all different things as well as everything, you know, sort of well-rounded in business. We challenge each other and push, you know, to push each other, you know, raising the bar and all that sort of thing. So today I want to ask you a couple of questions about the high standards that are non-business. So why do you think that everything we do in our life can affect our business? why do you think that the book somebody is reading or the movie they're watching, how do you think that that affects their sales or their business? Because although we might be really great at compartmentalizing and saying, right, now I'm doing family work, now I'm doing self-work, now I'm doing work work, you know, now I'm selling

houses, now I'm doing this and that. In fact, as humans, we are the pivot point. It all comes through us and we're the ones that then make it happen. So let's imagine that you, let's imagine that, you know, if I came on this podcast today and you introduced me as, you know, Judy May's, you know, she coaches household name speakers. She has been doing this for so long. She's known as the expert's expert. And then suddenly it flashed to me and I was looking really like hadn't been taking care of my body. And imagine if I had like a yapping dog and a screaming kid in the background and I was going, you know, shut up, I'm talking to Lisa B. Like, it just wouldn't be congruent. You would, like, well, hold on. Why should I want to do business

with this person? Why should I want to listen to this person? How is this person going to be elevating me? And it is about elevation because all of our dreams are that. It's like, yeah, I want things to be more, whatever's important to you. I want things to be more exciting. I want things to be more interesting. I want to understand this. I want to create this. I want to invent this. I want to make this happen. And you want to be around people who you can tell that first up, they're doing that for themselves, right? So I love the fact. Like, you FaceTime me and it's evening, my time here in London, and it's like five in the morning, your time, and you're out on the water, in your kayak, there's dolphins. It's like, wow, okay, this is. So of course I'm going to, every single time,

going to pick up a call from Lisa B, right? And so that's what you want is you want to be magnetic to people because people buy for emotional reasons, right? They don't buy for logical reasons. The 18th century philosopher David Hume actually was the one that first realized that, that yeah, we think we're all rational. We think we're all saying, you know, I'm doing this because it's a good idea and because it fits in here. But in fact, we're always doing everything for an emotional reason. The emotions are like our guidance system. And so it's like, you know, I'm doing this because it makes me feel seen. It makes me feel safe. It makes me feel. So you want to make sure that you are signaling to people that I am someone who is a fast train.

I'm someone who or I'm someone who's safe or I'm someone who is, you know, whatever your values are, whatever is important to you, you've got to be living those values. Otherwise, there's something else that you value more. So if you value disassociating from life so you don't get hurt, or if you value watching Netflix rather than reading a book, or if you value, it's like, great, nothing wrong with it. You can choose that. We're not here to tell anybody how to live or what to do.

A lot of people think that because I'm vegan, that I'm going to lecture them for, you know, sitting there eating a roast. I'm not. that's your choice and I completely understand that you have reasons why that is good to you. Reasons about maybe memories of being around the table when you were a kid at Thanksgiving or there's reasons why we do everything. But you've got to live those values, got to live those reasons. You know, the reason that I am choosing and getting conscious about it.

So yeah, if you're going to be choosing to be eating something that's not good for your body, be real about it and say, well, what does this say about me? Like if I'm, yeah, sure, every now and then you might say, like if I'm somewhere gorgeous in the world, I might eat something sweet. But in fact, you don't even have to. So years ago, if I was in Florence, for example, in Italy, and I'm, you know, sitting on this beautiful square and at 7 in the morning and the cafes are just opening,

I'm going to have a pastry with my tea. I'm not going to say something like, oh, no, don't eat chick, like I'm going to make it all part of the experience. But these days I've found that I don't even need to do that, that there's usually something these days that's really, really healthy that I can enjoy. And because that is, if I'm saying to people, you know, your energy is your life force.

And if I'm saying to people that it's important that you learn, but I'm saying the same things for the last 24 years, it's just not congruent. And congruency is something that you can only show. that people can actually read it on you before you say anything. Like, you know, if you walk into a room and you're shining and you're happy and you're cheerful and you're before you even say, hey, how are you? How's it going? Before you do that, people know because of the way that your face has grown over the years, because of the way that you're holding yourself, because of the way that your eyes are, people know.

And one thing that people are really, really tired of. They're really tired of people presenting as one thing and being another. And so for you, they're going to feel just relieved that, okay, right, here's someone that walks their talk. Here's someone I can get behind. Here's someone who's inspiring. And did you ever walk into a sales situation? You're showing a couple around a house.

You're showing someone around a commercial property. and you're saying, you know, you're probably thinking about the specs of the building. But did you think about how inspired they are? But you're walking ahead of them and they're like, oh, wow, I've really got to get my body in shape. And suddenly you're seen as next level to them. So they are associating, buying that building or buying that property, they're associating that with their next level. When you come in and you are just, you know, fascinating to them,

that, you know, they ask, oh, what did you? you get up to last weekend? And rather than saying something like, oh, you know, we just sort of sat around and we watched this new show that everyone's watching. Have you seen it? Fine. Nothing wrong with it. But if you say something like, oh, you know what? I organize a community cleanup or, you know what, I just really fancied being somewhere else. So I flew to Chicago and saw this baseball game or, you know, just how you live tells. So things. about being a business person in terms of inspiring people around you, not in terms of just a hard, convince her strategy.

Love it. Okay. So what about the law of attraction? What are your thoughts on that? Because the law of attraction seems to just suggest that it's how we're bribing, what we're putting out to the universe, and that affects our life, not the actual things that we do. So, yeah, the thing with the law of attraction, a lot of people use it as a reason to, you know, be working without working.

You know, they're like, okay, if I'm just, you know, vibing it and. Yeah, right? And for very many people, it is just, you know, another form of hope and it's passive and, you know, and it's a nice escape from overdoing it. And the thing that, remember, you know, we talked before about go-getter types,

and this is what they often feel like, you know, I don't want to stop. I want to, I'm too scared to, to stop working on stuff, but I'm also too exhausted to actually physically do anything now. And so they'll often go into manifestation or people who are really good at sitting down and not doing things and they, you know, again, don't want to do it, but they want the results. So that's how manifestation doesn't work and it's what it isn't. I remember once I'm speaking manifestation, I'm really good friends with Mike Dooley,

who you might remember from The Original Secret and he's the Note for the Universe. Mike is just great. And I was at his wedding in Mexico. And I met a member of the public while I was out there. And they said what I was doing. And they started telling me, oh, yeah, I manifest all the time. And they told me all these stories. And I'm like, you're not manifesting. You're just catching off people. You're just like being such a pain to people that they just give you stuff to go away. And it's not growing you. And it's not like, you know, it's literally, it's begging. And again, that's not what manifestation is. A lot of people, again, when, you know, people learn to praying, they think about praying. It's like, you're not praying. You're begging. So let's,

you know, let's stop that. Let's realize that we already have everything that we need to attract it in. You don't want it to be easy. You want it to grow up you. You don't want to avoid your lessons. Because we see that with the people who have managed to avoid their lessons maybe through inheriting the money or winning the lottery. They're not happy, right? So our happiness comes from the person that we become as we're making all these different things happen. And now I've completely forgotten your original question. So have I. What was it?

So, yeah, the law of attraction and what did I say? How would it affect? Oh, but so, yes. So, okay, I got it. So basically. I got quite a bit as well. Yeah. Yeah.

So, so, so, so you know, if you want to do law of attraction at a really high level, like keeping your standards really, really high about how you attract things into your life, it is about working on you. It is about you becoming a more attractive person. And I don't mean just in terms of, you know, sexual seduction or something, although that's part of it. But also when it comes to how is it that you are, how is it that you're signaling? Really, that's what law of attraction is.

It's about signaling. It's saying, look at me, I'm ready. But you can't be saying, look at me, I'm ready and you're not. So supposing someone says, suppose you had, you know, your dog had a litter of puppies. And so you were going around to someone who said, oh, I'm so ready to have a dog. And you walked into their house and it was chaos. And it was clutter. And it was, and it's not the fault of the person who's living in chaos.

Maybe they had a, you know, tough childhood. Complex PTSD often means, you know, people aren't able to take care of things until they learn how. But the house is just absolutely cluttered. You realize that, you know, why? what, if this dog needs veterinary attention, they don't have money to bring the dog to the vet. This person isn't ready. And maybe their reaction to the dog is kind of like, oh, they're interested for two minutes and then they're not. You're not going to leave the puppy there, right?

You're just not, you're going to say something like, oh, yeah, well, listen, why don't I call you next week? And you're just backing out the door knowing that you're going to be placing the puppy somewhere else. It's the same thing with sales. when you meet someone and you're, you know, everything is a manifesting moment. So if you meet with a customer and you are already 10 minutes late and you're saying, oh, sorry, sorry, caught in traffic, sorry about that. And then you are, you know, you've got like, I don't know, breakfast stain down in your jacket.

And then you, you know, they ask you a question and you just override their question and instead you just show them the thing that you want to show them, they're not going to want to leave the puppy with you. They're not going to want to buy from you. They're just going to, they're going to be like, this person isn't ready. So you've missed your manifesting moment. Your manifesting moment starts the night before when you check the outfit and see, is it clean? Is it pressed? Is it appropriate? The manifesting moment is, you know, the day before when you're taking 30 minutes to meditate while you're looking at it. at the sunset so that when so you get a really great night's sleep so that you arrive unruffled

that you wake up you don't press snooze so your manifesting moments are normally right before or sometimes even way before your actual moment like because I teach a lot of speakers how to get on the really big stages um they'll they'll often say that this i say i'm ready and i'm like okay let me let me show you how not ready you are you're ready for the reward but you're not ready to bring in that reward. So that will not be a manifesting moment. I can, you know, we just work the strategy and get you on a stage in front of 1,000 people

or 2,000 people. It's not going to do anything for you because you're not ready to manifest that bigger reward of all of those people following you, all of those people buying from you. So it's about, right, let's, you know, let's work on, you know, the fact that you've been delivering the same kind of content.

Let's have it there. you know, for at least an hour every morning, you're reading interesting things that other people aren't reading. You know, if you're reading philosophy, you're reading history, you're reading about art, you're reading about, if reading is not your back, like that you're learning about different things. You're maybe if you, you know, if you, if you're in the United States and you, you know, whatever background you come from, if you don't also speak Spanish, you're just, you're missing, you're missing out. You're really missing out because there's so many Spanish speakers in in America who yeah they might also speak English fluently but you just throwing in a few

phrases of Spanish suddenly you know that is a manifesting moment um yesterday I was getting my nails done and my usual place was booked out and so I went to a place and the manicurists were all Vietnamese so I was fascinated I was like oh I've got friends who lived there and we were chatting all about it so the guy who was doing my nails I said to him how do you say thank you in Vietnamese I'm not not going to try it now in case we've got people from here. We're going to be like, that's not good pronunciation. Anyway, learned it perfectly yesterday, had the word. And then when I was leaving and I paid the cashier, I just was able to turn to her and say in a really great Vietnamese accent, I was able to say, thank you. And she was like,

oh, wow, right? So next time, if they're like really booked up, if they're really, really busy, I know that she'll probably remember me and I'll, and she'll find a way. She'll move things around. She'll, you know, ask someone to stay late that I will get my appointment. So manifesting moments are everywhere and it's a habit. It's not just strategic. If you're coming in in a strategic way and saying, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to do this thing now. That's not manifestation. That's manipulation. And it can work, but it's exhausting. And also it's not lasting that people know. If people have been played, they know. This is why I was never really into, you know, matching and mirroring. You can tell when someone is, you know, you put up your hand and

they put up their hand and you lean forward. It's like, dude, don't do that. Don't do that. How about you actually care about me? And then you will be micro mirroring me or micromatching me just naturally the way people do. So it's not about manipulation. It is about preparation. It's about thinking and it's about designing who you want to be on this planet. Yeah, I love it. Okay, so this is a topic that I love. So if you close your car, your desk, all of that is clean and tidy. Does it matter if your house is a mess? As some will think that others are not going to see your house. What do you think about that topic? Right. So we're not talking about being perfectionistic just to put that out there. We're not talking about everything, you know,

if everything is perfectly aligned, if you've got those like, you know, with the vacuum cleaner on the carpet and the, you've got those perfect lines and, you know, there's your sofas covered in plastic. We're not talking about that, right? Because then again, that becomes, you know, the monster that eats itself and we don't want to go down that route. But everything tells, everything tells because it's not about the actual mess. It's about your mindset that allowed that mess to happen. And I used to be really up until about 20 years ago, I used to be really messy up until about 10 years ago. I used to be kind of messy. And now my, you know, my environment's pretty pristine. You know, people walk in, they're like,

oh my God, this is lovely. Great. Because that's the way my mind is. My mind is ordered. I have routines. I have, you know, support systems. I have. So you can't, you know, you can't hide. it's not about hiding the mess. It's about, you know, you can't hide who you are that either created that mess or created that order. So if you have an ordered mind and an ordered life and it's, you know, it's peaceful and it's seamless, then that is going to show. And your house is a really, like, so whenever there's anything that is messy in your life, whether that is a messy relationship, a messy house, a messy desk, a messy, anything, anything that's messy, it's just calling you to go higher. So don't have a shame attack. Don't spiral down into, oh, my God, I'm so terrible.

Oh, my God, this again. It's like, okay, so this is telling me what? You know, this is telling me that I need to, you know, be more ordered. I need to have better routines. Is it telling me that I need to bring in more support? What is it telling you? What is this mess telling you? What are these unpaid bills telling you?

It's not calling you into a shame space. It's calling you to go higher. And so, you know, just, you know, just recognizing that, what, you know, what, what are my, what needs to happen here? What is this message? Why is this happening again? It's not because you're broken. It's because there's just an aspect that you haven't developed, that you haven't brought out yet. For example, like I coach a lot of people who, um, their lifestyle hasn't yet caught up with their money, right? So they are bringing millions every year. And maybe they, you know, they sold a business

for, um, you know, 200 million and, but they're still living as if they are screaming. buy. And so they try to do something like move into a big house thinking that's going to solve it. But it's like, no, hold on a second. You know, you're still, you know, you're buying shirts that are made of synthetic materials. You know, so I'll bring them somewhere and be like, right, we're trying on this really high-end stuff not to show off the label, not that people will see that, oh, that's a Louis Vuitton or that's a, you know, one of these Gucci, that's a brand that shows off labels. But just this is what it feels like to have high quality material against your skin. This is what it feels like to be wearing something that's really gorgeous.

And this is what it feels like to, you know, I know people who are extremely wealthy and they'll be taking their kids out on the weekend and they'll take the kids to Starbucks. It's like, well, think of taking your kids to a place that is really beautiful. Like, have you really, you know, get onto Expedia and use it just as a search engine for beautiful things. You'll find out what are the five-star hotels in your area. And rather than that, just, you know, sit somewhere. Like I use the Eurostar a lot to nip across to Paris from London. It's just, it's super handy.

And it's so fascinating to me that right beside the Eurostar, right where you get on, in St. Pancroastation, there are these really, really crowded, like there's a Joe and the Jews. There's like all these little restaurants and they're super, super crowded. You can rarely get a seat and people are kind of, you know, viciously angling for, you know, get that one, run, go get that. Right. You see this like, it's chaos. It's noisy. It's not what it could be.

If you just go up an escalator and walk for a minute and a half, so it's like two and half minutes total, you are now sitting in a beautiful, huge cafe restaurant where they instantly serve you, so you've bought that time back. You're served, and it doesn't cost more, and it's just far more beautiful. You're served things in China. you're served like fresh mint tea. You can actually see the mint leaves. There's like a beautiful high ceiling.

That's the old station. It just surrounded by gorgeousness. And all you've done is design. You've said, because for me, I will look at a place like that and I'll be like, right, that kind of noise, that kind of argy bargy, not my standard. My standard is for gorgeousness. Where is the gorgeousness?

And you start to scan for your standard. And then you meet it. You find it. And then living from that. place people get inspired by that. Definitely. I always just think your external world's a reflection of your internal world and every time, you know, if my death starts to get really messy, I know that my mind is messy. And that to me, I feel that's a temperature gauge for me. It's like, oh gosh, you know, I need to, I need to sort out some things so, you know, it unravels my mind.

You know, it just shows that I've been busy and I haven't done some of those things I need to do. and I'm not saying just to clean your desk all the time because some people just clean their desk and never do anything else. I'm not saying to do that. But it's sort of, to me, it's a trigger or a whatever it is that I know that I need to do some of those things.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a signal, yeah, absolutely. Signal, that's the word I want. Yeah. Okay, so we've been talking about the things that we can see, but you also believe that people are influenced by the invisible things too.

So talk us through. that. So is that about beliefs and other thoughts? Well, we talk in self-development a lot about beliefs. And I think that there's a lot more going on as well as beliefs, particularly things like just repetitious ideas. So it kind of is a belief, but it's a belief that shows up in a very, very particular way. It shows up as, so let's imagine that you have recently come out of a relationship where the other person just wasn't kind. They were emotionally negligent. They were avoidant.

They were financially irresponsible. They were whatever it was that hurt you. And then you just find yourself thinking about it several times a day and just bringing it up. And it's not bringing you anywhere. You're not, the initial growth happened as in, okay, I'm never going to allow someone to treat me like that anymore. But we think that the repetitious thought is keeping. keeping us safe. If I keep remembering this hurt, then I'm safer. And the trick with that is to say,

what would actually get me to a better place? Or it doesn't even need to be about safety. It could be about, you know, the idea of, you know, in America in particular, I'll coach a lot of people. And they're like, well, I'm definitely going to get, I'm definitely going to go to Disney World next year. And Disney World, not my thing. But if it's your thing, but, but if that's great, But then they will just think about it. They'll just every single day be thinking about, I'm going to do that, I'm going to do that, I'm going to someday. I'm just next, you know, I'm going to do it in spring. I'm going to do it in summer.

Oh, it didn't happen in the summer. I'm definitely going to do it in the winter. Yes, the winter. That's the best time to go to, you know, California or Florida, definitely. And you just, you keep that going, but it's not a high standard. It's kind of like consoling yourself with the dream of it, consoling yourself by imagining. So both those things, like the repetitious thought that isn't really keeping you safe, the repetitious dream that isn't really getting you to where you want to be,

just interrupting those and saying, okay, every time I have that thought, what is a practical thing that I can do to bring it further? So if you're saying to yourself, you know, I'm never going to allow someone to talk down to me again, okay, you've had that thought again, you've remembered how someone used to talk down to you, then go on to a YouTube channel and, you know, find, someone who's expert in communication, someone like Jefferson Fisher is really good, and, you know, just learn how to say some things, how to say something like, you know, well, I can't get behind that statement or just like, just use it as a, you know, to really get yourself to a place of safety. Or you say to yourself, you know, I'm going to go to Disney. Great. Get on the phone. Find out exactly how much it's going to cost you. You know, look at, create a design for how much you're going to be, um, uh, uh, putting away every single week. And can you make a ritual out of it with your family where, you know, you, you, you,

you take the 200 bucks and it gets put into the, the Disney jar and the whole family cheers and talks about how much they're looking forward to it? Just again, not doing the same things again and again that our, our mind can be running in a way that we're not consciously saying, what is my, what is my brain doing for most of the day? You know, if you find yourself just, just checking. out. You might be checking out into fantasy. You might be checking out into, you mentioned gambling. I know that in Australia, that's a pretty big challenge for a lot of people. And, you know, more around the

world now, too, with, you know, online gambling. And, you know, rather than saying to yourself, oh, I'm, you know, I'm going to get this. This is, I'm so blessed that gambling has never been one of my things. So I'm not going to talk about it very, very elegantly. But, you know, that I'm going to, I'm going to win this. This time, you know, my, this horse is going to win or this team is going to win or this, you know, this roll of the dice is going to come good for me. I'm just interrupting it and saying, is that true? Is that actually true? Is that like what evidence do I have that that horse is going to win as opposed to that one? Have I been wrong before? And just, you know, the, with any kind of standard raising in any part of your life, the first thing is to just interrupt, not stop, but just interrupt the thing that you've been doing before. And it might be something that depletes you like gambling. It might be something that depletes you like having that messy house. But don't immediately just jump up and clean the messy house because then you haven't really fixed anything.

You just got up enough body of pain that you're like, there, took care of that, you know, cut up my credit card. But unless the design for the new way of that, you're like, there, took care of that, there, you know, cut up my credit card. design for the new way of being has been put in place, it's not going to be sustainable. A lot of people have a habit of, you know, the house being messy until it's too painful. A lot of people have a habit of, you know, having consumer credit or gambling until it's too painful. So in that moment, rather than just doing the big gesture and like, right, finally, I'm going to power my way through, instead just saying to yourself, you know, what, how could I design this differently?

What would, you know, if someone who does it really, really well, what would they do? We know from NLP and before NLP all about modeling, just taking the best of what someone does well and finding out how they did that, but also matching it to who we are. Would that work for me? So for me, what doesn't work is spending two hours on weekend, sorting my desk, you know, sorting my spaces. And I'm lucky that I have some help. I don't have to kind of, you know, put time aside to clean every week. But having, you know, having, doing it in that way, yeah, someone might have a beautiful home and that's what they do, but that's not going to work for me. That will just overwhelm me. I just feel terrible. What works really well for me is doing things for 10 minutes every single

morning, which then primes me for, hey, that felt really good when I did that 10 minutes of sorting that closet or whatever. I'm going to do a little bit more later on in the evening. So it's easier to do it when you have less energy. And just getting, getting to know yourself. so well and getting to know, you know, when does this not happen? When does this happen? How do I need help with this? We need help with the design. All of these different things. Just constantly enjoying that process, treating it like the game that it is. It's a really, really fun game to play. So are we known for gambling in Australia or over in the UK, are we? I think in a lot of the world, it's, yeah.

There's other countries, but, you know, when you think about Australia, the upside is you think about people who are, you know, really open, people who are, like, unafraid to say what's on their mind, you know, people who are, you know, funny, maybe boisterous. And, you know, we think about you going to, going to gigs and, you know, gathering and having barbecues. It's just the cliche, but there's some truth always in cliches. Why is that the cliche? And so actually to use that as an example, you know, the cliche of Irish people. So I'm from Ireland. I grew up in Dublin and lived there for a long time before I started my world,

my world voyages. And I found it very hard. When I tried to move back at one point, I found it very, very hard because I had changed my standard for how I socialized. So for me, I had gotten used to London, Paris, New York, L.A., the way that I would socialized would be I would go to a film premiere. You know, I have friends that were walking the red carpet and they, you know, give me their, their plus one. I would go to gallery openings. I would go to philosophy talks. I would go to all these different things that weren't available in the same

way in Dublin, not to say those things aren't available and increasingly they are. However, it wasn't the usual way. I found it hard to get people to come with me. So anytime you outgrow something, that's good. It's a good thing. It means that you've evolved. We all have been, had friendships or relationships that we've just grown out of. So we grew at a rate that the other person had no interest in keeping up with. They wanted to just stay at the same standard. And they weren't interested in growing. And so eventually it's like, you know, just sitting here on a Friday night, you know, and you want to watch TV again and you want to eat that again, that's not what I want. And so really realizing how is it that you want to?

to grow and realizing you might need to move. You might need to move countries. You might need to move you know out of a different relationship not to dump them. You know, Ireland is fabulous. It's amazing. Just my click rate for needing awesomeness, you know, for needing, you know, this, you know, to be chatting to this, as you know, Lisa, my life is kind of fascinating. And, you know, I need to be talking to this great Shakespearean actor who's an absolute legend. I need that conversation rather than a conversation with a perfectly lovely person who's talking about something that's interesting to them. So find your place in the world and sit there.

No judgment. If your place in the world is that you want to live just very contentedly and you don't want to move much and you want to be surrounded by a couple of family members and you want to do that, absolutely. But make sure you are choosing that, that it's not choosing you by default just because it's what everyone does and it's what you just fell into.

Absolutely. Okay. So surely we can't be expected to live like Olympic athletes or monks. What's too much? When does a high standard or rules become something that gets in the way of your life? And I had somebody the other day. Yeah. First of all, in order to answer that question, you need to know what it is that you want.

So for me, I go to, I go to yoga every day or at least. least six times a week. I'll go to a yoga class. I'm very blessed this one just around the corner. And I can get there and the teachers are amazing and the community is amazing. And most of the time when I'm leaving the house, I don't want to go to yoga. I would rather not do you. You know, my brain could interrupt me and say, hey, you know, why don't you just read something instead? You know, it's raining. There's always that. But no, this is my standard. This is what I do. And for some people who, you know, having a high standard for their body, particularly when they get into their 50s, that's not something that they are interested in. They love the idea that, well, aging just happens.

At this age, you know, I can't be expected to. We'll leave that to the younger ones. Great. That's their choice. So for me, I like my choice. I like my standard. Other people will look at me and they'll say, you know, only an hour or only 90 minutes a day. what's wrong with you? You know, you need to be, you know, working out twice a day.

There's a couple of people I know who are rock stars and they are like just supreme when it comes to working out. And for them, what I do is almost nothing. They, you know, they, that they would see me as a couch potato. So it's all about what's important to you. But for me, I don't want to take. I don't need to take that extra hour a day because, you know, I'm not in front of the world press. I'm not under that kind of scrutiny. I'm not creating, you know, videos that will be seen for years to come. So I don't need to. So that's the first thing is, like, working out what you need for your life. There is a baseline. You know, we all need to work our bodies. We all need to eat in a nutritious way. We all need to make money in a way

that feels good to us and allows us to live out our dreams. We all need to grow. There's just certain things that are absolute baselines. But then within that is it that other people are telling you it's too much? Because anytime someone has told me that something is too much, or I shouldn't do it or I shouldn't do it yet, looking back over my life, that's the very, very thing that I'm most proud of having done and that it was the best decision to make. So, you know, you shouldn't, for my first degree was in drama studies in Trinity in Dublin, and then my master's, I stayed another four years and did a master's in literature. And everybody was saying, no, you should do something much more useful. You know, people were trying to

persuade me to go and do teacher training or to become a doctor like my parents or, but it's, it's like, no, when you, when you have a feeling that this is what I want, this is, this is who I am right now, then that's what you've just got to go for 100% because you won't always feel like it. Now, you know, I might not feel like sitting down and reading a book this thick all about some really obscure a playwright. I won't feel like it, but back in the day I did. So you've got to just take those chances when they come up. You know, there might not, there might be a time where, um, you, you want to be like Lisa, there might be a time in the future where you don't want to be in a kayak because you've discovered, um, flying a glider. I can see you doing that. You know,

and so, you know, you really enjoy your kayaking time now because you're going to, you're going to be doing something else later on. So, so yeah, this idea of it being too much, certainly don't let the voices from the outside crowd out what you know is right for you. You are the expert on you. That's what I say to all my audiences. That's what I say to all my clients. You are the expert on you. I'm the expert on change. I'm the expert on how to take yourself from wherever you are now and becoming the absolute best in the world at what you do and becoming the best person that you can be. I'm the expert on that, but you're the expert on you. You know, if you're a in a dance class and I had a dance teacher I used to train in a place called Steps on Broadway

back in the 90s with the guy called Gary Restifo loved him. And he was always talking about, you know, that he doesn't know how your body feels. So he might say to do a certain move, but he doesn't feel that twinge in your arm or your back. And so we've got to listen to ourselves first and not be looking outside of ourselves to other authorities. oh, you know, in a parental way, oh, this parental figure approves. This parental figure tells me to do this and therefore I'm going to do it. I love that, Lisa, that's the way that you are with people is you say, hey, listen, you know, EXP is so great for me and this is how it works for me.

This is why these are results. I've got these are results. Other people have got, if you've got any questions come and ask me, you don't just say something like, you know, if you don't join EXP, you will die. because it's not true, right? You're just saying, hey, welcome to our tribe. We're going to this higher level. We're doing it in a new way to suit this new era.

And this is what is so important is that we trust ourselves as the experts of our own life. But we can only do that when we sit down and design. So that's probably the first standard that needs to be set in place is how are you designing your life? How are you getting coaching? Are you learning? The fact that people are listening to us talking in this way today. is a next level saying, yeah, you know what, next standard, higher standard for myself. But what about the people, we had a conversation not long ago about people that set the standards

too high and they're not happy. They've set it too high. You know, they become assessed. And, you know, and I've had a conversation with somebody else about this recently too. What would you say to those people? I would say the standard isn't high. I would say that the, the bar is high and there's a difference. So if you are, when your standard is high, so let's suppose that someone says, right, my standard is that I'm going to run for two hours every day. And then they've got, you know, sore knees and they are emaciated and they're unhappy, then it's not a high standard. It's just a lot of stuff. So we've got to differentiate between those two things. Like, you know, there's a lot of people who I think they've got a high standard for money because they've got

millions of dollars or millions of pounds. But that's not a high standard because the way that they did it was they did it through exploitation or to be very clear, that's not the only way for you to make your millions. But that's the way that they did it. So it becomes a low standard or it becomes to the point where they can enjoy it. They might as well be broke. They are as stressed as they would be if they had nothing coming in and no way putting food on the table. So it becomes not a high standard. So the high standard really is, what results am I getting? How am I feeling about it?

How is it impacting me and the people around me? The people immediately around me and then the world in general. So just putting it through that filter will let you see, is there a high standard or is it just an extreme way of doing it? Exactly. Fantastic. Thank you so much for joining me, Judy May Murphy. we'll put all your details underneath the video or your contact.

You do coaching, speaking. So if anybody's interested in getting Judy May to speak in an event, she travels all around the world. So hopefully you might even come to Australia. Let's try and work that out. That would be cool. Absolutely. I would love to.

All right. Thank you so much for your time. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for listening to Let's Talk About Real Estate Podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show. If you have a question about real estate, then please join the group on.

Facebook also called Let's Talk About Real Estate. For those of you who are interested in EXP, please join us at 10 a.m. Brisbane time every Wednesday morning for EXP Explained. Thank you again for joining us and don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and see you next week.