KGCI: Real Estate on Air - The Disraeli Effect: How Making Others Feel Interesting Wins More Business

Episode Date: October 2, 2026

Summary:Host Kevin Kaufmann explores the "Disraeli Effect"—making prospects feel interesting rather than trying to impress them—to transform client meetings, leadership, and agent recruiting. By drawing on a historical anecdote featuring Winston Churchill's mother, Kevin contrasts the "Gladstone agent," who dominates conversations, with the "Disraeli agent," who listens actively and asks intentional questions. Real estate agents learn how adopting this consultative mindset builds deeper trust, drives conversions, and empowers team members to achieve greater independence and long-term business growth.

Welcome to Next Level Agents, the podcast that's all about breaking barriers and building empires. I'm Kevin Kaufman and together with my crew bringing you straight up fire. Interviews with top tier agents, game changing thinkers, plus the strategies and mindset shifts to dominate in real estate. Whether it's personal growth, leadership packs, or next level tactics, we've got you covered. So tell me, what does the next level look like for you? Buckle up because we're about to take you there right now. There's a famous quote, kind of a quote, kind of a story, I guess. It's one of my favorites.

And I'm going to share it with you today. And it's what we're going to talk about. So there's this woman. It's actually Winston Churchill's mother, Jenny Jerome, who was quoted one time as saying that after dining with two of the most powerful politicians in England, that was William Gladstone and Edgerman Disraeli. And I believe, if I remember correctly, these were on consecutive nights. She said, when I left dinner with Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in all of England.

But when I left dinner with Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest woman in all of England. All right, guys, welcome back to the next level agent's podcast. I'm Kevin. And I love that quote. I love that story. I should say so much. I started thinking about it again the other day and writing down some thoughts to share with you guys. and I was thinking about how it relates to what we do.

And I guess to put it another way, the question I'm going to ask you is, do you want to be interesting or do you want to make people feel interesting? Another way of saying is, do you want to make people feel like you're interested? Right. Think about that. When you walk away from a conversation with a client or maybe recruit, maybe someone on your team, what do you want them to think? Do you want them to say, man, that, you want them to say, man, that.

that guy, that gal, she's, she's so impressive. Or, or do you want them to say that was one of the best conversations I've had in a long time? And I feel seen. I feel clear. I feel confident. Because if you think about it, those, those two things are not the same. And if you're honest, if you're, if you're being honest with me, we could agree that most agents, most people in our industry are kind of, they're chasing that first one, right? which is man that agent is impressive she's so impressive he's he's got it all together all right so again

that's why i love this story about jenny jerome winson churchill's mom again after dining with two of the most powerful politicians in all of england being william glastone and benjamin disraeli she said when i left dinner with gladstone i thought he was the cleverest man in all of england But when I left dinner with Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest woman. Think about that. They're both brilliant men, both brilliant politicians, but they had two completely different impacts. One made her feel probably kind of small, although not that's not what he was intending. At least I would assume that.

I guess I am assuming that. But the other one made her feel bigger, made her feel more important. And here's the punchline. Like, because that's the thing. It just really wasn't just a better conversationalist. My viewpoint is he was the better leader, right? So let's, let me bring this into our real estate world because to me, this shows up everywhere in real estate can show up at listing appointments, buyer consultations,

recruiting appointments, and we're leading our team. Heck, it could even show up at just like casual conversations you have at real estate events that you go to. most agents walk into these conversations trying to prove something they want to prove how much they know we want to prove here's my production look how many homes i sold right i want to know my scripts i want to i want to prove how great my systems are or the values that i that are on my wall my culture whatever right i want to prove it all and listen all that stuff matters but here's the problem the more you try to prove you're interesting

the less other people are going to feel interesting themselves. And when people don't feel interesting, they tend to disengage. So here's the shift. Great agents don't win conversations by being impressive. They win by making the other person feel important, understood, and capable. That's it. Like, that's the game. Because people don't make decisions just based on who has the best stats or who talked the most,

the best script, who sounded the smartest. Oftentimes the decisions, most of the time the decisions are based on who understands me best, who made me feel the most confident, who helped me think more clearly. Right. So let's make this a little more practical. I want to break this down into like the Gladstone agent and the Disraeli agent, okay? The Gladstone agent, this is the agent, probably not you and me, okay, but it's somebody we know. They talk 70% of the time. If there's 100% in a conversation between two people, they take up 70% of it. They explain everything. They have answers for everything. They interrupt the people they're speaking with with solutions, quote unquote solutions. They lead with their opinions. You might, in the best

case scenario, leave the conversation thinking, wow, they know a lot. But, but this is the kicker. you'll also feel slightly overwhelmed, talked at, and unsure if they really even heard what it is that you had to say. Whereas the Disraeli agent, right, this person asks thoughtful questions. They take time to pause to listen all the way through the other person's answers. They reflect back on what they heard. And they can help you to arrive at your own conclusions. Now, when that happens, you leave that conversation thinking, wow, I feel clear or I feel confident. I feel like I can do this.

And here's the kicker. You can also trust them more, even if they said less, actually almost especially or exclusively because they said less. I'm going to give this a recruiting application as well. This is where I think most people completely miss it in recruiting. They, I kind of touched on this a couple weeks ago. They think recruiting is pitching a model or explaining the compensation model, the rev share, say if you're a rev share group or the splits on a team, they're selling the opportunity.

They're showing numbers. And again, those things matter, okay? But those things are Gladstone energy. Disraeli energy sounds more like, well, what are you trying to build? Where do you feel stuck right now? If nothing changed, where would you be a year from now? What would the ideal situation look like for you? And then this is the hard part, okay?

You actually have to listen. Don't jump in. You don't just try to fix it. You don't redirect it back to you because the moment you do that, you made the conversation about you again, right? You flip back to Gladstone. So let's talk about leadership. This might be maybe the most important place that this shows up in

leadership. So like if you're leading a team, ask yourself, when your agents leave a conversation with you, do they feel more dependent on you or more capable without you? Because those are two very different leadership styles. One creates bottlenecks, dependence, burnout. The other creates ownership, confidence, and growth. See, I believe great leaders don't create followers. They create people who think better. So if you want to actually apply this, here's a simple little framework. Ask better questions than anyone else. Not service level questions, real questions.

Stay in the question longer than what feels comfortable. Most people, see, here's the thing. Most people interrupt the moment that it gets quiet. Don't do that. And try reflecting before you respond. A simple way to do that is like, so, what I'm hearing is, some of you know your scripts very well. And that's, that's from some of your scripts, was put there for a reason, right? Because it helps you to reflect before you respond.

And then you earn the right to give your opinion, not at the beginning. You do this at the end. So here's the question I want to, I want you to sit with over the handful of the next couple of days in your next few conversations. I want you to ask yourself, be honest with your Are you trying to be the most interesting person in the room? Or are you making the other person feel like they are? Because one of those builds your ego. The other one builds your business. And if you get this right, not only will people trust you more,

they'll choose you more, they'll buy from you more, they'll refer you more, and they'll stay with you longer. They'll send more people your way because everyone is drawn, into the person who makes them feel like the best version of themselves. So again, final thought, be less like Gladstone, be more like Disraeli, and watch what happens. That's it. That's all I got for you today.

Thanks for tuning in to the Next Level Agents podcast. We'll see you next time. That's a wrap for this episode of the Next Level Agents. I'm Kevin Kaufman, and we've just dropped some serious heat with my crew to level up your real estate game. does the next level look like for you? Subscribe to the podcast now so you don't miss a single strategy and head over to next levelagents.com. Check out our events tab so you can find out all the information on our next virtual and in-person mastermind calendar. Let's keep this

momentum rolling. See you next time.